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June 7, 2025 - The Tucker Carlson Show
28:44
Tucker’s Ultimate Nicotine Pouch Taste Test
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tucker carlson
24:55
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Speaker Time Text
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Well, that smells like s***, actually.
unidentified
Oh, my God.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
It's absolutely awful.
Like, that's like the worst smell I've ever smelled.
It's really bad.
It's really bad.
I don't know, really.
Try it.
It's good for the climate.
Oh, f*** you, Zim.
Nobody works at the company who uses nicotine pouches.
I'm kind of like a living lab rat right now.
Like, what happens if you really go all the way?
I'm Tucker Carlson, and I like nicotine.
One of the keys to life, I think, is being honest about what you know.
Can you give a two-hour talk on copper mining in Congo?
Probably not.
But if you ask me what I think of nicotine, I have an informed answer because I am a lifelong, over 40-year nicotine user.
After a lifetime of testing, I've arrived now at Alp Nicotine Pouches.
We created Alp Pouch because we know what we're talking about.
When we talk about nicotine.
But it dawned on me the other day this could be the moment for a nicotine tasting.
And as I just said, I'm not just a casual user.
I'm a nicotine sommelier.
So today, we're going to go through the entire gamut of commercially available nicotine pouches in the United States, and we're going to compare them to the product that we make, Alp Pouch.
I'm going to be donning a white glove as a sommelier would, and the purpose of this, and it's just to my left hand, I'm left-handed, is to make sure it's fair.
I don't want to pollute the taste of anything.
Any of these pouches with oils on my hands.
Okay, that's how serious we are.
So let's start out with what we make.
This is Alp Tropical Fruit.
This is one of my favorite flavors.
I, on a day-to-day basis, I use 9 mg, but we're going to hit the median here with 6, and I mix these actually with wintergreen.
I put two tins together, and I kind of like they marinate together and create something kind of special.
But we're going to try it alone today.
It's not that easy with the white gloves, but the white gloves are worth it.
Now, before, people always do the upper deck or lower deck, whatever, but I like to swirl it around in my mouth, front of the tongue, back of the tongue, roof of the mouth palate.
Even, honestly, under the tongue, different parts of your mouth react to flavor in different ways.
So you want the whole picture.
You want the full 360-degree profile of the flavor.
unidentified
Mmm.
Mmm.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
All right, next up is number six, Alp Wintergreen.
As I said, I use nine, but by the way, can I say something?
So if you're like in a duty-free in another country and you see like the whole rack of foreign, particularly the Russian nicotine pouches, you will see some high milligram nicotine.
And even for me, some of it's a little bit too strong.
You do one of the ones with like a Russian bear on it.
That's like 20 milligrams.
Our nines hit differently.
It's a slower release.
It's not, you know, blowing you out of your chair.
Okay, so that's a really good product.
A lot of testing went into that flavor.
It's got the astringence of mint.
You want a certain bite to it.
You can't have a flat mint.
unidentified
The whole point of mint is like, whoo, mint!
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Breathe in, clears your lungs, clears out any remaining tuberculosis.
Not making health claims here.
I'm just noting the facts.
This you can keep in all day.
The flavor stays so long in these pouches that we're almost thinking, well, wait a second.
If you have a product that people can keep using, they don't need to buy new products.
You know what I mean?
So if you double the amount of time someone can keep a pouch in, maybe that's like a massive loss in revenue to you.
If you think about it, it doesn't have planned obsolescence built in.
But we didn't care.
We did it anyway.
So this is chilled mint.
The other day I was actually in a car going to the airport and my driver had COVID like four years ago and he lost his sense of smell.
I'm not making this a true story.
And I open up a tin of this in the back and he goes, I can smell that.
And I said, I'm sorry, do you not like it?
He goes, I haven't smelled anything in four years and I can smell whatever you just opened.
It's the first thing I've smelled.
So again, not making medical claims here, but I'm just saying this cut through the COVID haze for the man who was driving me to the airport.
You open it, I can smell it from here.
If you've had a really late night, And I gave up late nights many years ago, but let's say you're still in the late night phase of life, and you have to wake up a little early to get to the jump.
Throw one of these puppies in.
unidentified
Woo!
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Bracing, but delicious.
They're definitely bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, reporting-for-work-sir kind of nicotine pouches.
Very, very good.
This is the next flavor of Alp.
It's called Refreshing Chill.
What is Refreshing Chill?
What flavor is that?
Oh, good question.
It's no flavor.
Now, why do we make a nicotine pouch with no flavor?
Well, because we're required by law to do that by the state of California, which has decided, having solved all of its other problems, the tens of millions of people living there illegally, drug cartels running at cities, the mass shootings, the fentanyl ODs, feces-covered nature of San Francisco.
And that's why I'm launching a new podcast.
Having solved all of that, they're going to protect their citizens from the real threat, which is flavored nicotine pouches.
So you cannot sell a flavored nicotine pouch in California.
That's how progressive it is.
It's so progressive, it's just like Stalinist.
But we're not giving up on our biggest state.
I'm from California, so I feel a certain familial loyalty to the state.
And so we produced this product, Refreshing Chill.
And it is, actually.
It is refreshing.
And it's chilly.
You're going to want to wear a sweater for this one.
Welcome back to Nicotine Tasting Hour with Tucker Carlson, the White Glove Nicotine Sommelier.
We've gone through some of the selection that our company, Alp, offers.
We started there as a kind of baseline.
How do the other products compare to the one that we're offering?
And we go first to a company called Zinn, kind of politically transcribed.
Now, I'll just be totally honest.
Obviously, I've thrown a lot of shade at Zinn.
I'll admit that I use Zinn for years, and I did it without self-consciousness, really without self-awareness.
I had no idea what I was doing.
I didn't know what I was putting in my mouth.
That was the old me.
It's been a long time since I've had a Zinn wintergreen, and I'm going to see now that we've created Alp, and we know what a nicotine pouch can be, how this rates.
I'm going to try to be honest.
I mean, there are competitors.
Ooh, there aren't many in here, are there?
It's like half full.
There are only 15 pouches in there.
Ours have 20. Just saying.
It does feel like a teabag.
I feel like steeping it.
Instead, I'm going to put it in my mouth.
Tastes like salt, actually.
For real.
I'm going upper deck right now.
It's shit.
It's actually horrible.
I cannot believe they sell that commercially.
I'm not saying all Zinn is bad.
By the way, some of them are...
I'm going to throw it.
Actually, will you turn the cameras off?
I'm going to spit.
This is Zin Coffee.
I always thought it was the best of the Zin flavors, and we're rolling out a coffee mocha that's better.
You can't freaking taste it because it's dry.
unidentified
You have to sit there and wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Yeah, it's fine.
and it's good.
It smells good.
This is almost like going back to your childhood home.
Like, in your memory, it's this, like, big, interesting place, and you go back.
Why is it so small?
That's how I feel about Zinn.
If you had asked me, you know, a year and a half ago, what do you think of Zinn coffee?
I'd be like, yeah, I like Zinn coffee.
It's really good.
And now that I'm, like, meeting Zinn coffee again for the first time since I met Al, since I broke up and found a new love, like the love of my life.
I'm like, I can't believe I ever dated you.
unidentified
You're kind of a loser.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Alright, so we're back.
The Sahara Desert in July is a lot more life-giving than it's in.
Like, if I pulled this out of an Egyptian tomb, I'd be like, oh, really?
They use nicotine pouches?
It's been sitting under the desert for 3,000 years.
That's what it actually feels like.
This is Cinnamon.
And the other thing I will say about a dry pouch, not just Zinn, which is a uniquely crappy company, but all dry pouches, you have to start it up.
It's like a Model T Ford.
You have to crank it.
It's like, no, I'd like an automatic starter, please.
It's like survival food.
You have to add water or something or else it just sits there inert for decades or centuries or millennia.
unidentified
Yeah.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Whatever.
Occurs by Lucy in Expresso.
Weirdly, I know the guys who run Lucy and I...
They're actually great guys.
I like them a lot.
unidentified
They're also like salmon pink.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
That's a little bizarre.
They actually feel like sandpaper on the outside.
These are kind of an interesting concept.
So they have a little capsule that you break with your teeth.
It's like one of those little cyanide capsules that, you know, Though it's not cyanide.
In this case, it's flavoring.
You crunch it and it makes it wet.
This is my favorite one of any that I've had today.
Other than Alp.
This is Lucy Mango.
15 pouches.
That's five too short, in my opinion.
These are not breakers.
These are conventional Lucy's.
unidentified
Yeah.
It's not terrible, but it's like, really?
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Like, what are we doing here?
Like, what's the point?
of being alive.
Like, the point of being alive is to create something beautiful, to do something really great and lasting.
Dusty Springfield, who was a totally screwed up, you know, drug addicted British singer in the 1960s.
Life amounts to nothing.
Died young.
But she wrote one song.
It's less than three minutes long.
It's called Son of a Preacher Man.
There's not one person who hasn't heard that song and said, you know, that's a great song.
So Dusty Springfield's whole life...
And so if you're in the business of making things, no matter what, do your best.
Make it great.
And they didn't do that with Lucy number four mangoes.
I'm sorry.
People are like, gosh, you've tried a lot of different nicotine brands today.
Are you tired?
Am I tired?
I feel great.
I don't know how many milligrams of nicotine my blood contains right now, but a lot.
to say a lot and I'm kind of like a...
Like, what happens if you really go all the way?
Honestly, I feel great.
I feel totally aware.
I feel happy.
I don't feel like I'm on meth.
You know, I'm not like, whoa, I'm Napoleon.
I just feel like clear-headed, cheerful.
Mental acuity is at least at 10, if not 11. Oh, yeah, this is kind of interesting.
This is called...
With an exclamation point.
Like, ole!
Ole!
Okay, so it's on.
Ooh, it comes with a wrapper on it.
It's like a childproof.
I don't know why they would put some kind of plastic wrapper on here, but whatever.
First thing you notice about uns or ons is that they are not round.
This is cinnamon.
I open it up.
Ooh, and look, there's caked nicotine right there.
It's a little bit like an illegal narcotic.
Now, why is there caked nicotine on the inside?
I have no idea why.
They're small.
They're very flimsy.
It almost feels like they're made out of toilet paper or something.
Yeah, that's not bad, actually.
Everything about the pouch itself is spells like made in Oaxaca, Mexico by people without shoes.
But, man, they put some powerful flavor.
Oh, my God.
unidentified
Oh, shit.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Let me revise that.
That's not good at all.
Maybe they are made in Mexico and there are tamales in there.
I don't know.
I wouldn't keep using that product.
Though, I do like the design.
Honestly, I kind of like the square tin.
Owns?
Pretty bad, actually.
But kind of stylish anyway.
Grizzly?
I don't know if these are the same people who make grizzly.
I've never actually had grizzly chewing tobacco.
It was always considered like a kind of cheesy discount product.
It was like the generic cigarettes of chewing tobacco.
I never actually had it.
But that doesn't mean it's not great.
And I met people who like Grizzly a lot, and I absolutely love chewing tobacco, so I will give them the benefit of the doubt.
This is Spearmint.
Not clear how many pouches in here.
I don't think it says.
Oh, 20. Good for them.
So Zinn really is lagging the industry in pouches.
Still trying to get away with 15 pouches.
No, we're not screwing you over.
Giant Swiss creepy left-wing company.
No, we're not.
The Larry Fink of nicotine pouches.
No, no, no, really.
Try it.
unidentified
It's totally good.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
All right, all right.
It's good for the climate.
Oh, f*** you, Zen.
They should just stick to dip.
You know, if you make dip, if you make chewing tobacco, there's nothing wrong with that.
You know, it's one of the products that built this country.
The men who built our railroads and won the world wars, you know, they dipped.
The U.S. military dips to this day, though a lot have switched out.
But there's nothing disreputable about dips.
So if you make dip, if you make grisly, then you should not be ashamed at all.
And you should just stick with what you know.
Stay in your lane.
Don't veer into a new category and be like, you know, we make a pretty good chewing tobacco, maybe we can make nicotine pouches.
The evidence suggests, no, you can't.
No offense.
This is called clue.
Clue, like the game, like Mr. Mustard in the library, except it's spelled differently, C-L-E-W.
Clue.
Get a Clue.
Nicotine Pouches Clue Cool Mint.
So you open it up.
I kind of like the tin, actually.
It's solid.
Oh, it's got the...
So this is a container on the top of the tin of the puck.
You open up, and it's designed for you to put your wet, chewed pouches in there.
And we thought about doing that.
And then I thought, you know, I don't, I put them in my pocket.
They dry out.
I throw them away at the end of the day.
You don't need to hide your used nicotine pouch.
You definitely don't want to store them all in there.
There's something kind of nasty about that.
Like, imagine when it grows in there.
I have no idea who makes Clue or what it's about.
I have no clue, as we say.
But I'm open-minded.
Ooh, and the pouches are a little bit softer, too.
They're not moist, but they're not desiccated.
They're not tea bags, and you can't feel the sand.
If these were toilet paper, they would be Charmin.
That's good.
The flavor's fine.
The presentation is actually pretty good.
It matters how things feel in your mouth.
You're putting them in your mouth.
Carter, who's our in-house nicotine consultant, just to be fair, he got every possible nicotine pouch on the market.
And I haven't heard of all of them, so I really do want to be fair.
This is called the Pillow.
It says remarkably sour, sour blueberry, three milligram.
I've never heard of this and I've never had it.
I have no idea who makes it.
I don't know anything about it.
So I'm going to assess it as honestly as I possibly can.
It does smell good, I have to say.
Oh, it's dry.
You just, you blow it.
You lose me right there.
I'm not into it.
I'm not into it.
You want dry mouth?
By the way, you know meth mouth where all their teeth rot out?
If you've ever been at 7-Eleven late night and there's someone in there buying a Reese's product and a deck of menthol cigarettes, that's a meth head.
They all have rotted teeth.
Meth mouth.
Why?
Because meth makes your mouth dry.
So dry mouth is bad.
It's the sign that 13-year-olds are getting high.
It's the sign that people are smoking meth in later life and it doesn't work in a nicotine pouch either.
So that's a major strike against them, but I'm just going to try it anyway.
I kind of like it.
Kind of interesting.
It's a little bit like candy.
They're trying.
We are, by the way.
But you want to see others do it, too, because innovation begets innovation.
So if you have a company, Pillows, I think with a backward Z, that's a little gay, just to be honest.
But whatever.
Pillows.
unidentified
Pillows.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
So now I'm making fun of them, but they're pushing it.
They're like, let's just not make blueberry.
Let's make sour blueberry.
Kudos.
Pillows.
Kudos.
Here, try.
It's actually pretty good.
unidentified
It's not a backwards V. Oh, it's not?
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
I want to be fair to pillows.
All of them.
Your Z is actually in the right direction.
I'm the one who's in the wrong direction.
That's a dyslexic.
We have a product.
Ooh, I like that.
7 milligram.
I like it when people sort of The nicotine is the secret sauce, so, you know, people bump up the nicotine a little bit.
I'm totally in favor of that.
This is called Velo, or is it Velo?
I'm not exactly sure.
There are 20 pouches also, which I definitely appreciate.
And this is Black Cherry, which is something else I like.
These pouches are a little white.
I went to trouble putting on the glove to keep oils from my hand off the pouch in order to be fair.
And then I was pawing it with my greasy mitts.
Now, the first thing you notice is these are wide and short.
Stumpy is the word I would use.
It also feels dry, but a little softer than Zin.
You really can't overstate how much Zin sucks.
Actually, I'm not being mean.
I'm just being honest.
It's actually grand.
You can feel it in there.
Anyway, this is Velo Velo in Black Cherry 7. Not good.
Actually, that's not good at all.
And you saw that.
I don't even know how to pronounce the name of the company.
And I was totally complimentary and completely open-minded.
Even the stubby packaging.
I was like, well, short, wide pouch.
I'm open-minded.
I don't judge.
All shapes and sizes.
That's my view.
So I was ready to like this pouch.
They don't taste these things for rolling them out?
They don't have...
Like, why don't they just pass?
I'll be like, okay, guys.
Full staff meeting, okay?
We're planning on rolling out a brand new flavor called Black Cherry.
Why don't we pass it out to the guys who work here?
Like the guys on the loading dock and running the lines, making in.
Have people who use nicotine pouches try the flavor before you introduce it to, say, 350 million Americans.
Just a pro tip for you.
We've got a bunch of prototypes and flavors.
The first thing I did, they sent me a case of them.
I labeled them all and I gave them out to people I know who are very serious, you know, who use nicotine pouches all day long.
And I'm like, what do you think?
And use the whole tin and get back to me.
Don't give me just like your first impression or something.
Anyway, they clearly didn't do that with...
It's got a weird, like, not even aftertaste, but like side taste, like lurking in the shadows or something ugly.
Thumbs down.
unidentified
Yeah, the V is backwards.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Next up is Velo Wintergreen.
By the way, there's room for more than one nicotine pouch.
There's only room for one truly great nicotine pouch, but whatever.
I mean, Coke always had Pepsi.
Levi's always had Lee.
Marlboro always had Winston.
Like, it's okay to have a kind of beta position, someone in the bitch seat behind you.
It's all right.
It's a better first impression than the black cherry.
I can't overstate my disappointment on the black cherry.
I like the fruit flavors.
I'll just be totally blunt.
I'll just admit it.
We're going to do like a boysenberry at some point just to please me.
But everyone has to make it wintergreen.
It's the law.
We're close to the law.
Well, it's not bad.
Yeah, it's fine.
It's fine.
You know, it's like fine.
I mean, this is the good enough flavor.
If this were like someone you were dating, your friend would be like, well, she's got a lot of extracurriculars.
You know what I mean?
If I was like, if I was walking down the sidewalk and Velo 9 milligram wintergreen walked past me, I don't mean to be mean, but I wouldn't even notice her.
All right, this is a product called Rogue.
It's kind of dorky.
Rogue!
Go Rogue!
Plow your own path.
unidentified
Are you a pathfinder?
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Are you the Kit Carson of nicotine pouch users?
Go Rogue.
unidentified
Uncontainable, uncontrollable, made by some giant publicly traded company, but it's Rogue.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
I don't know who makes Rogue.
I'm just being a dick.
Anyway, I'm open-minded.
So this is a six milligram mango.
I won't rest until there's like a passion fruit alp.
Probably I'm the only person who will use it, but I will.
Again, we're looking at a slightly wider path.
Come on, Rogue.
You're not really going Rogue, are you?
It's kind of the opposite of Rogue, isn't it?
You're basically aping Zin.
unidentified
You're like, we're so Rogue, we're going to do a Zin, but call it Mango.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Ooh, it smells good.
I will say that.
Look, I'm fair.
Now, obviously, I want to outsell all these companies.
Our product is better, just factually.
But, you know, you want to encourage excellence no matter what.
But it's not good.
It's not good at all.
Obviously, the flavor of a pouch evolves over time.
When you first put it in, you get one sensation.
This is true of all products.
It's true of chewing tobacco.
It's true of cigarettes.
It's certainly true of cigars.
So it is fair to say that a pouch, you can't judge a pouch by its first sensations.
But that doesn't mean first sensations don't matter.
They really do matter.
And the first sensation here has a kind of, this was made in a chemical plant in New Jersey kind of feeling.
Like, I don't know the process behind Rogue.
Or maybe it's Ragui.
I'm not.
Honestly, I don't know how it's pronounced, but I can just imagine out behind the loading dock, some Dominican guy with lots of tattoos is like, got a hand truck with this giant 50-gallon drum that says mango across the back, and it's been made at a chemical plant on 95 in New Jersey.
I'm just guessing.
I'm just guessing.
I'm saying what it tastes like.
But I'm getting the sense that they don't have like a mango tree in the yard at Ragui or Rogue.
Nicotine on demand!
It's kind of ludicrous.
Like, when else did you get nicotine by accident?
Like, what?
All nicotine is by demand.
The people demand nicotine.
That's why we have it.
We don't have it because the authorities want us to have it.
They definitely don't.
Anyway, I thought it was lime.
I was actually pretty excited.
Someone needs to make a lime nicotine pouch.
I think that would be super cool.
But it's not lime, it's apple.
But, you know, I support that too.
And there are a lot of varieties of apples.
Sour apple.
I just reviewed a chilled apple on our prototype.
I don't know how I felt about it.
I'm still thinking.
But this is just flat-out apple.
Smells good.
The smell.
Why does the smell matter?
I don't know.
I mean, why do aesthetics matter?
Why does beauty matter?
Does it add to your bottom line?
No.
But it adds to your life.
So smell does matter.
I smell everything.
I never put a single thing in my mouth before smelling it.
Ever.
Not my whole life.
And I don't care if it's embarrassing or not.
And this smells fine, but it doesn't quite have the punch that it should have.
Like a true apple.
Like a green apple on a cold day.
Crunch!
Red apple.
Even a red apple, which tend to be a little pulpier.
Crunch!
unidentified
Apple!
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
This is more like a pulpy apple, maybe with a worm in it.
But I can't say because I haven't tasted it yet.
unidentified
Thank you.
Thank you.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
This is inoffensive.
This is like, again, this is like just enough to be fine.
unidentified
Eh.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Now we're moving on to something called Zone or Zane.
Zane or Zone has two, three factors in its favors.
Right off the bat, I'm just looking.
By the way, you say, oh, you can't judge a nicotine pouch by its cover.
You kind of can, actually.
You can learn a lot.
First of all, it's 20 pouches, just like Alp.
Bless you.
It's almost starting to feel like Zin.
Is the industry a lagger, not leader?
Like, they're the greediest people in the nicotine business.
Ooh, we only give you 15 pouches.
Up yours, actually.
Second is 9mg, which we like to see.
The worst they can say is it's an addictive product.
Nicotine is an addictive product.
Yeah, I had no idea.
Oh, really?
Is it really?
Thanks, Mom.
I had no idea it was addictive.
Anyway, and it's something called dragon fruit.
Now, I have no idea what dragon fruit is.
I don't know if it appears in nature, but it sounds kind of exotic.
So I'm going to try it right now.
I open it up first.
unidentified
Whoa!
Wow!
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
It's pink!
Actually, it's more precisely salmon.
Kind of salmon color.
I don't know if it's farm-raised salmon or wild salmon.
It doesn't matter, but it's got that kind of off-pink color.
It's sort of iridescent.
Now, it sounds like I'm attacking it.
I'm just...
It's burning my retinas.
Kind of cool.
Next, the smell.
Well, that smells like shit, actually.
Oh, my God.
unidentified
Whoa!
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Here was Sebastian.
Not like that.
Just like, oh man, that doesn't smell good at all.
Let me try it again.
Now I've aired it out.
Like wine, sometimes you need to get a little oxygen in there.
You have to let it decant.
Okay, so I've decanted the nicotine pouches.
It's absolutely awful.
That's like the worst smell I've ever smelled.
That's, in fact, I'm sorry, I don't want to be.
It's really bad!
It's really bad!
Now, just so you know, just be careful of it.
It's called zanay.
It's dragon fruit, and it actually smells like the ass end of a dragon.
Like, it's been digesting all kinds of nights.
I'm not going to put that in my mouth.
I don't care.
I know this is tasting.
I'm not putting zanay dragon fruit in my mouth.
No.
Tell me if I'm being unfair.
unidentified
I think there's something wrong with it.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Your smell is like an early warning system.
It's the NORAD of your body.
So your smell, your nose, your olfactory senses, you know that it's coming.
It's coming.
It's coming.
Should I let it in?
And in the case of Zannie No. 9 Dragon Fruit, do not let that in.
All right, next one up.
I don't even know what that says.
Kadobar?
Kadobar?
I don't even know.
K-A-D-O-B-A-R.
Okay, well, that's bizarre.
Blueberry candy.
A lot of people are going to be like, that's way too fruity for me.
Question your sexuality if you like blueberry candy.
I've got four kids.
I'm totally comfortable with blueberry candy.
If this is good, I'll say so.
Okay, these are long and slender.
Dry.
Yep, granular.
When will they learn?
Initial taste is not good.
You've got to test these things before putting them in packages and selling them.
Like, what are you doing?
This is not good.
Here we go.
We've got something called WIN.
Nicotine on the go.
What does that even mean?
What nicotine isn't on the go?
If you're only using nicotine when you're resting, you're kind of missing the point.
Nicotine is for all times.
Have I slept with a nicotine pouch in?
I'm not going to answer that question on the ground, so it made me...
But here's the thing I like about this.
It's banana chill.
Now, I'm a little skeptical of the chill.
Why would you chill a banana?
I am looking for a banana nicotine pouch.
Probably nobody else is.
I am.
In fact, we're testing one right now.
Yeah.
Why do they put the chill in bananas?
Like, have some confidence in the flavor.
If it's good enough for the chimps, it's good enough for me.
Yeah, it's crap.
Doesn't taste at all like banana.
If I could give some unsolicited advice to the Wynn Corporation, have confidence in your banana.
Be proud of your banana.
Feel no banana shame.
It's banana.
It's in everybody's flavor.
Everybody loves bananas.
And that is not good at all.
That's like awful.
I really think the race is on.
This is like getting to the South Pole, like the 21st century version.
Who can make the first truly good banana nicotine pouch?
May the best pouch win.
So if there's one piece of advice I could give to nicotine pouch users coming up, and I would give the same advice to a young woman dating, don't settle.
Don't fall for the first nicotine pouch you run into at 7-Eleven.
You know what I mean?
Save yourself.
Pull back a little bit.
Is this the pouch for you?
Probably not.
High standards.
Set your standards.
Maintain them.
You're worth it.
Don't put some dry, granular, degrading piece of garbage in your mouth.
And whatever you do, don't put that dragon fruit crap that smelled like roadkill made by, what was that company?
unidentified
Zane.
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼
Oh, Zane.
Thank you for joining us for today's nicotine tasting.
As more products emerge, I will be tasting them.
I am the Nicotine Pouch Sommelier wishing you adieu.
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