The Tucker Carlson Show - Tucker Carlson - I want to discipline my kids but I’m worried about turning into Tony Fauci. What do I do? Ask Tucker.
Aired: 2024-04-20
Duration: 03:21


=== Unreasonable Rules? (02:14) ===

[00:00:01]  Welcome back to Ask Tucker.
[00:00:03]  We're sitting here in the studio between interviews going through emails that you have sent asking for advice.
[00:00:09]  And because we are slightly overbearing and filled with opinions we can't contain, we're going to accommodate that with gusto!
[00:00:16]  Okay, so here's the first question that we received.
[00:00:18]  I'm about to become a dad for the first time.
[00:00:21]  How do I teach obedience to a child without being a tyrant?
[00:00:26]  Boy, that is a deep...
[00:00:27]  That's an actual email we received from a really smart viewer.
[00:00:31]  That's tough.
[00:00:33]  Obedience is essential.
[00:00:35]  The child must respect his or her parents or else the child will go completely off the deep end and be unhappy.
[00:00:41]  But instilling discipline in a child is a tightrope.
[00:00:45]  Of course, being a tyrant works when the kid is little, but if you're unreasonable and arbitrary...
[00:00:54]  At some point, that child will mature into an adult and realize that you were a very bad leader, that you were unreasonable and arbitrary, and resent it and possibly turn against you.
[00:01:02]  So really, the answer is never be unreasonable or arbitrary.
[00:01:06]  Always give a rational reason, even to a small child, for the instructions that you're giving.
[00:01:11]  No, you can't do that because.
[00:01:14]  The key mistake parents make, mothers make, mostly but also fathers, is because I said so.
[00:01:19]  Because I said so!
[00:01:21]  So what's the message that you're sending?
[00:01:23]  The message that you're sending is rules come down from on high.
[00:01:27]  No one explains why these rules are a good idea.
[00:01:31]  And the only message that you get is do this or I'll hurt you.
[00:01:35]  There's something in the human spirit that at some point is going to rebel against that and should rebel against that because it's arbitrary and unreasonable.
[00:01:41]  Whereas if you establish early, very early, the earliest possible time, a connection between a rule and a reason, if you insert logic into the instruction, then even little kids get it.
[00:01:52]  Don't touch the stove because it'll burn your fingers.
[00:01:55]  And the other advice I would give is be calm.
[00:01:57]  There's something about little kids asking, why, why, why, why, why?
[00:02:00]  There's a why stage in childhood.
[00:02:02]  I can't remember what age it is, but five maybe.
[00:02:04]  Why?
[00:02:05]  And it's just sort of endless Talmudic, you know, colloquy between you and the child.
[00:02:09]  Well, don't do that.
[00:02:10]  Why?
[00:02:11]  Well, because this.
[00:02:11]  Well, why?
[00:02:12]  And even the most patient parent can get annoyed.

=== Rules Come Down From On High (01:04) ===

[00:02:16]  Well, because you snap.
[00:02:18]  And my...
[00:02:19]  Unsolicited, or I guess in this case it is solicited, advice to any parent is try to stay patient.
[00:02:24]  And as long as the kid asks why, provide an answer.
[00:02:27]  And by the way, if at some point you can't provide an answer, it's on you.
[00:02:30]  You're the parent.
[00:02:31]  You're the adult.
[00:02:32]  So if you can't actually explain why a kid should be doing something, you need to assess whether the kid should be doing it.
[00:02:38]  Which is another way of saying you're learning too.
[00:02:41]  You should let reason be the guide.
[00:02:45]  That doesn't undermine your authority.
[00:02:47]  It enhances your authority and creates a durable respect that will extend throughout your life.
[00:02:54]  Your kid will respect you when you're old if you parent like that.
[00:02:57]  So that's my advice.
[00:02:59]  All right, next question.
[00:03:01]  My girlfriend says, I dress like a slob.
[00:03:04]  Should a guy really care about his clothes?
[00:03:06]  Ooh, another good question.
[00:03:07]  Let me answer this in the shortest possible way.
[00:03:15]  Thanks a lot for watching us on X. There is a lot more to see, and you can find it on TuckerCarlson.com.