| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
Unreasonable Rules?
00:02:14
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||
| Welcome back to Ask Tucker. | ||
| We're sitting here in the studio between interviews going through emails that you have sent asking for advice. | ||
| And because we are slightly overbearing and filled with opinions we can't contain, we're going to accommodate that with gusto! | ||
| Okay, so here's the first question that we received. | ||
| I'm about to become a dad for the first time. | ||
| How do I teach obedience to a child without being a tyrant? | ||
| Boy, that is a deep... | ||
| That's an actual email we received from a really smart viewer. | ||
| That's tough. | ||
| Obedience is essential. | ||
| The child must respect his or her parents or else the child will go completely off the deep end and be unhappy. | ||
| But instilling discipline in a child is a tightrope. | ||
| Of course, being a tyrant works when the kid is little, but if you're unreasonable and arbitrary... | ||
| At some point, that child will mature into an adult and realize that you were a very bad leader, that you were unreasonable and arbitrary, and resent it and possibly turn against you. | ||
| So really, the answer is never be unreasonable or arbitrary. | ||
| Always give a rational reason, even to a small child, for the instructions that you're giving. | ||
| No, you can't do that because. | ||
| The key mistake parents make, mothers make, mostly but also fathers, is because I said so. | ||
| Because I said so! | ||
| So what's the message that you're sending? | ||
| The message that you're sending is rules come down from on high. | ||
| No one explains why these rules are a good idea. | ||
| And the only message that you get is do this or I'll hurt you. | ||
| There's something in the human spirit that at some point is going to rebel against that and should rebel against that because it's arbitrary and unreasonable. | ||
| Whereas if you establish early, very early, the earliest possible time, a connection between a rule and a reason, if you insert logic into the instruction, then even little kids get it. | ||
| Don't touch the stove because it'll burn your fingers. | ||
| And the other advice I would give is be calm. | ||
| There's something about little kids asking, why, why, why, why, why? | ||
| There's a why stage in childhood. | ||
| I can't remember what age it is, but five maybe. | ||
| Why? | ||
| And it's just sort of endless Talmudic, you know, colloquy between you and the child. | ||
| Well, don't do that. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Well, because this. | ||
| Well, why? | ||
| And even the most patient parent can get annoyed. | ||
|
Rules Come Down From On High
00:01:04
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||
| Well, because you snap. | ||
| And my... | ||
| Unsolicited, or I guess in this case it is solicited, advice to any parent is try to stay patient. | ||
| And as long as the kid asks why, provide an answer. | ||
| And by the way, if at some point you can't provide an answer, it's on you. | ||
| You're the parent. | ||
| You're the adult. | ||
| So if you can't actually explain why a kid should be doing something, you need to assess whether the kid should be doing it. | ||
| Which is another way of saying you're learning too. | ||
| You should let reason be the guide. | ||
| That doesn't undermine your authority. | ||
| It enhances your authority and creates a durable respect that will extend throughout your life. | ||
| Your kid will respect you when you're old if you parent like that. | ||
| So that's my advice. | ||
| All right, next question. | ||
| My girlfriend says, I dress like a slob. | ||
| Should a guy really care about his clothes? | ||
| Ooh, another good question. | ||
| Let me answer this in the shortest possible way. | ||
| Thanks a lot for watching us on X. There is a lot more to see, and you can find it on TuckerCarlson.com. | ||