True Anon Truth Feed - Christmas 2024: Presents & Power Aired: 2024-12-24 Duration: 17:41 === Public Domain Projects (03:23) === [00:00:00] Ho ho ho Don't be to the ladies here. [00:00:07] Ho ho ho You are wearing a very cute snowman sweatshirt. [00:00:13] I do snowman snowman. [00:00:15] You like it? [00:00:16] And we should call them snowmen. [00:00:18] You kind of rock with that all year, though. [00:00:20] I don't really wear a sweatshirt all year. [00:00:22] I used to wear a dress that was a jack-o'-lantern, so I get it. [00:00:24] I wear it after Christmas, though, yeah, because I only have two sweaters. [00:00:30] Merry Christmas. [00:00:31] Thank you. [00:00:32] First of all. [00:00:34] So what I understand is that God had a son way those many years ago named Jesus Christ who was rejected by certain people and killed, but then he came back. [00:00:56] But when he was killed, he died for us, or God sacrificed his son for our sins, came back, and then after, then we left again for some reason. [00:01:06] We're keeping his memory alive in this podcast, I feel like, right? [00:01:11] Always. [00:01:11] You know, we really do need to publish your version of the Bible. [00:01:16] Brace's Bible, I'm telling you, I have not forgotten my ideas. [00:01:20] I do kind of like in the public domain are two books, Mein Kampf and the Bible, that I think. [00:01:27] There's other books in the public domain, but Cimarillian. [00:01:30] No, but I just want to be clear. [00:01:31] It's not that the only two books in the public domain are the Bible and Mein Kampf. [00:01:35] And the Cimmerillion. [00:01:38] Well, that's not the only two books in the public domain, but those are like the main two. [00:01:41] No, there's way more books in the public domain. [00:01:44] Yes. [00:01:47] But you're saying those are the two that you would want to publish. [00:01:49] Those are the two that I think the world would be made better off if they had Brace Belden presents the Bible and Brace Belden. [00:01:57] Or like, you know, King or whatever. [00:01:59] Do you have to add anything to it? [00:02:00] We'll see. [00:02:01] I mean, because there's different versions of the Bible. [00:02:04] Famously. [00:02:04] And so maybe I could just, maybe I could. [00:02:06] Well, that would be not then the public domain version of the Bible. [00:02:09] It would be my new version of the Bible. [00:02:10] Yeah. [00:02:11] But it would be based upon the public domain version of the Bible. [00:02:13] I think that I think I could change the Bible in subtle ways that will have deep, long-lasting, irreparable effects upon theology. [00:02:23] Yeah, I think I could do that. [00:02:24] Mein Kampf, I'll make it because all the bad stuff he says about Jews, I turn to good stuff it says about Jews. [00:02:29] So the next generation of Nazis who read my much cheaper version of Mein Kampf that I'm selling will be like, these guys are great. [00:02:38] I love these guys. [00:02:40] Flip the script. [00:02:41] Flip the script a little bit. [00:02:43] But and then, yeah, and then Ulysses and shit like that I can do to Ulysses? [00:02:51] Yeah. [00:02:51] I don't think Ulysses is in the public domain. [00:02:54] But who's going to know? [00:02:56] Did you just start reprinting stuff? [00:02:59] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:03:00] I think I could also do like a King Lear. [00:03:04] Yeah, well, King Leary. [00:03:05] Brace Belden's Kingdom. [00:03:06] Brace Belden presents King Lear or Brace Belden's Hamlet. [00:03:09] Yeah, Brace Belden's presentation. [00:03:10] Brace Belden's version of Hamlet. [00:03:12] I could do. [00:03:14] I like that. [00:03:14] Remember when everyone was doing like urban versions of Shakespeare? [00:03:20] I mean, it's a good idea. [00:03:21] Ben Luhrmann really pioneered that. === Go On A Hinge Date (14:17) === [00:03:23] Yeah, that was a big moment. [00:03:25] And then, like, I think I could do, what's that? [00:03:28] What's that lady's name? [00:03:29] She's Irish. [00:03:30] People like her. [00:03:30] I thought she was from old-timey. [00:03:31] Sally Rooney. [00:03:32] Yeah, I could do kind of her books, but she presented her. [00:03:34] Brace Belden's Normal People. [00:03:36] Brace Belden's Normal People. [00:03:38] You're always talking about that. [00:03:39] I could do, and then I could even get into movies. [00:03:42] You know, I could do Brace Belden's Specialist. [00:03:43] Brace Belden's year of relaxation. [00:03:47] My Year of Rest and Relaxation. [00:03:48] Yeah. [00:03:49] That sounds like a boring book. [00:03:51] Well, it's right there in the title. [00:03:52] My year. [00:03:53] I get. [00:03:53] Okay, so great year. [00:03:55] I don't need to read it. [00:03:56] Yeah, Tesha Marafaga. [00:03:58] I dated her for a while. [00:04:01] Didn't go well. [00:04:02] Everyone listening. [00:04:04] Hello. [00:04:05] Hello. [00:04:06] Merry Christmas. [00:04:08] Merry Christmas. [00:04:09] Oh, this is a Christmas message we're saying. [00:04:10] And happy holidays. [00:04:12] There's only one other holiday list. [00:04:14] There's others. [00:04:15] Say it. [00:04:16] You can't say it, though. [00:04:17] What? [00:04:18] The other holidays? [00:04:19] What's the other holiday? [00:04:20] There's Kwanzaa. [00:04:21] When is that? [00:04:22] There's Boxing Day. [00:04:24] Yeah, but what other holiday is this? [00:04:26] Oh, you do it at Hanukkah. [00:04:27] Ah, yeah. [00:04:28] But what I'm talking about Hanukkah, but what are you? [00:04:32] Happy Hanukkah, listeners. [00:04:34] Oh, happy Manukau. [00:04:34] Merry Christmas and happy Hanukkah. [00:04:37] And I hope you have a happy new year. [00:04:40] And I hope that you're fallow, the fallow yet fertile land between Christmas and New Year's for you. [00:04:47] Which is a very interesting time. [00:04:48] I hope it's bounteous. [00:04:50] We were talking about limbo earlier, and it is kind of a limbo space. [00:04:54] It's full of dead babies? [00:04:55] Well, potentially, as you're sort of, you know, coming down from the Christmas holiday high, but then staring down the prospect of the new year. [00:05:09] Or of strength. [00:05:09] It's really a kind of, yeah, it's a, you know, lame duck period. [00:05:15] It is. [00:05:16] What do you do during that period? [00:05:18] I usually just sit. [00:05:19] It's a lot of sitting. [00:05:20] What do you contemplate? [00:05:22] No, no. [00:05:22] It's usually sitting and watching. [00:05:25] I'm going to be honest, I watch a lot of TV. [00:05:27] Also, Christmas Day is an NBA holiday, so I've got that going on. [00:05:32] I engage in buccanalia. [00:05:34] Ew. [00:05:35] That is inappropriate for the end of the year. [00:05:37] I should go to my yearly Christmas orgy. [00:05:41] Grapes, grappa, and girls. [00:05:46] Ew. [00:05:47] I grow fat off all three. [00:05:50] Gross. [00:05:50] Like a goose. [00:05:53] But it is kind of a lame duck period. [00:05:54] It's a lame duck thing. [00:05:55] What do you do? [00:05:56] You sit. [00:05:57] You sit. [00:05:57] Well, you usually, if you're from a big city, you kind of enjoy everyone else being out of town. [00:06:02] But I'm going to out of town, rare, I'm going to the country. [00:06:05] And so I don't know. [00:06:07] Maybe I'll go crazy, like in the fucking, oh, working, no play, make brace crazy. [00:06:14] That's how it goes. [00:06:15] Yeah. [00:06:16] Out in the country. [00:06:17] Don't do it. [00:06:18] Don't be a victim or commit a homicide. [00:06:20] I'll tell you that. [00:06:20] No, we don't. [00:06:21] We disavow. [00:06:22] We disavow. [00:06:23] We just recorded a very long episode. [00:06:26] It's already come out by the time this is out. [00:06:28] Oh, it has? [00:06:29] Has it? [00:06:30] TBD. [00:06:30] We don't know. [00:06:31] No, I think so. [00:06:32] Okay, well, TBD. [00:06:33] Probably. [00:06:35] But perhaps some people haven't heard it because they are not on Patreon. [00:06:42] And I would like to say this. [00:06:44] If you know some of your friends, lovers, enemies, family, we do really well with moms. [00:06:52] I'm just throwing this out there. [00:06:54] Plural and lovers. [00:06:55] We have, we've gotten a lot of feedback from people's moms that they really like us, especially me. [00:07:02] I do great with moms. [00:07:03] I don't. [00:07:03] Parents don't like me. [00:07:04] That's not true. [00:07:05] No, it's really. [00:07:05] My parents love you. [00:07:06] Your parents are fine with me, I'm sure. [00:07:08] But I just, since I was a child, other my friend's parents just have not liked me pretty much across the board. [00:07:14] My dad really likes you. [00:07:15] Well, yeah, he's different. [00:07:16] I rock with your dad. [00:07:18] Yeah, he is different is a good word. [00:07:20] Yeah. [00:07:21] Plus, me and him share a secret. [00:07:25] But perhaps they've never heard the show and you're like, wait, now would be a great time to introduce them because they just recorded this two-hour episode recapping all of the haters and losers of 2024, of which there are plenty. [00:07:43] You can actually gift them a subscription. [00:07:44] Did you know that? [00:07:46] I did intellectually, but now I want to know it emotionally. [00:07:50] So what happens when I gift a subscription? [00:07:52] So you pay for a subscription, but it's not for you, it's for somebody else. [00:07:57] Yeah, it's the nature of a gift. [00:07:59] Yeah, no, because sometimes a gift is for all. [00:08:02] You know, I suppose. [00:08:03] But this is a specific gift. [00:08:05] Yeah, our show is kind of a gift to the culture. [00:08:08] Well, here's the thing. [00:08:09] If you don't like your parents, but you still have the veneer of like a relationship with them, all the trappings of it. [00:08:15] You go visit them, you text with them, you talk to them, but there isn't real love there. [00:08:20] If you want to bring love back in that relationship, gift your parents, or if you're parents and perhaps you were not too kind to your children and you want to bring them back into the under the wings so you can suffocate them in the nest, perhaps you should give them a subscription to the True Non podcast. [00:08:36] Or just, you know, keep on trucking. [00:08:38] Listen, if you go on one hinge date, if you go on one hinge date with anybody and they don't call you back with a gift, gift link. [00:08:48] Gift link. [00:08:48] Gift link. [00:08:50] You are at Walgreens and the person in front of you, you are in the pharmacy and you kind of go up too close because you think that they're going to be done. [00:08:58] Airdrop them. [00:08:59] Airdrop the gift link. [00:09:00] Airdrop the gift link. [00:09:01] And then when they look at their phone, you take the asapraza lamb, the Xanax, right out of their hand and get out the door. [00:09:08] A little secret Santa swap. [00:09:10] If you, if you, if you are at a restaurant, you know what? [00:09:15] Say you're at the club, bottle service, time for the tip. [00:09:18] And you usually just write something pithy and witty in there to hopefully be photographed and put in perhaps a viral Twitter post later by your rude server. [00:09:28] No, You say, what is your email? [00:09:31] And they come back and they say, sir, did you mean to write, what is your email? [00:09:34] And the tip thing, you say, no, that is an actual question. [00:09:37] What is your email? [00:09:38] They tell you, perhaps they think that they'll receive a PayPal from you in the immediate future. [00:09:42] No. [00:09:43] Gift them. [00:09:43] Gift them. [00:09:45] What else? [00:09:46] So many uses. [00:09:47] Emergency contact. [00:09:49] Oh, yeah. [00:09:50] Just drop the link. [00:09:51] No, no, no. [00:09:51] You work at the hospital and you got to call someone's emergency contact because they'll beep. [00:09:56] Beep. [00:09:58] A little sleepy style. [00:09:59] Beep. [00:09:59] Beep. [00:10:00] You don't call the emergency contact gift link. [00:10:03] I feel like when Sleepy finally goes, it's going to be sad only because we won't get to keep talking about how sleepy he is. [00:10:09] Well, he'll be in the eternal sleep. [00:10:10] I know, but then we'll forget about him. [00:10:12] No sfratu. [00:10:14] Well, we will forget about him because he'll be fucking dead. [00:10:17] Which, praise be. [00:10:19] Bring him back. [00:10:20] That's what I'm going to say. [00:10:21] Bring him back. [00:10:22] But in Kamala, we're not going back. [00:10:24] No, we're not going back. [00:10:25] We're not going back. [00:10:26] Bring him back. [00:10:27] We're going forward. [00:10:29] But my thing is, if, listen, if you, do you love? [00:10:33] It's so crazy when we were doing the haters and losers list that we didn't talk about Kamala. [00:10:37] Because she's just non-entity. [00:10:38] She is. [00:10:39] She's non-entity. [00:10:40] She's nothing. [00:10:41] Goodbye. [00:10:41] She's nothing. [00:10:43] I know that it sucks acutely when you step in dog shit on the street, but once you hose it off and after about 40 minutes and you're like, fuck God, I'm guessing, you know, whatever. [00:10:53] But like you move on with your day, you just don't think about the dog shit again. [00:10:56] I did legitimately forget about her. [00:10:58] Yeah, she's nothing. [00:10:59] Do you think she'll show up again? [00:11:01] In some way, yeah, but not in a way that'll matter. [00:11:04] She is a, she is, I think that she has enough wherewithal to realize she's a mistake of history. [00:11:09] That she is, she is simply an excess, you know, lard squeezed out of the fucking to cook the next president with. [00:11:20] You know what I'm saying? [00:11:20] Yeah, I do. [00:11:21] You know what I'm saying? [00:11:22] You guys, we are taking a little break for the holidays because it's the holidays. [00:11:28] But just like the break that your parents took, we'll be back. [00:11:33] We will be back. [00:11:34] We are going to see you in the new year. [00:11:38] Bright, shiny, rested, healthy, ready to go with more. [00:11:45] So until then. [00:11:46] Until then, maybe there's some episodes that you haven't heard yet, and you can learn about those on a special website that we made. [00:11:56] Why don't you say the fucking website? [00:11:59] Well, we didn't say the website to buy the gift, but that's going to be in the description. [00:12:03] So why don't you just say it? [00:12:06] Okay. [00:12:07] I don't know if people like to hear URLs auditorily. [00:12:09] It's patreon.com slash true and on pod slash gift. [00:12:15] So put that in your address bar. [00:12:17] And then you can go to podcast.truanon.com and you can search for whatever your heart desires and we also have a newsletter we do as well that is just one tier up on Patreon. [00:12:31] It's crackpots. [00:12:34] Crackpots. [00:12:35] But, you know, that's all the advertising we're doing. [00:12:37] Also, we are selling Ridge wallets. [00:12:40] Go to www.pornhub.com slash stop. [00:12:47] No, I was trying to think of something funny to say, and now I can't because I got scared because I got afraid that Liz would be mad at me if I said something gross there. [00:12:53] And so now I am retracting that. [00:12:55] You know what? [00:12:56] Go to www.bankofamerica.com slash login. [00:13:00] Put your login in there, and then you will find exactly what you want. [00:13:07] My name is Liz. [00:13:08] My name is Bryce Belding. [00:13:10] Did you just say Bryce Belding? [00:13:12] No. [00:13:13] My name is Bryce Belding. [00:13:14] We are joined, of course, by... [00:13:17] Are people really watching this? [00:13:19] Is it Yosemite? [00:13:20] What the fuck is the show called? [00:13:22] Yosemite Stone. [00:13:23] That is Liz. [00:13:25] They should do the Yosemite show. [00:13:27] I would watch that, but it's just animals. [00:13:30] Yo. [00:13:31] Just deer. [00:13:32] Semite. [00:13:32] Yeah. [00:13:33] No, just you. [00:13:34] Just deer. [00:13:34] Little birds. [00:13:36] And that's what we would watch. [00:13:39] Sometimes I imagine we put a cowboy hat on one of them. [00:13:42] What you're thinking. [00:13:43] And I guess it's just like you know, like that. [00:13:48] Sometimes it's that, and other times it's fucking brilliant insights that you can hear on truan.com slash podcast. [00:13:58] You know what? [00:13:58] Just put in anything. [00:13:59] Put in anything there. [00:14:00] Trueanon.com slash, and then anything you can think of, right? [00:14:04] TrueNO.com slash warp. [00:14:06] I love when we decide to promo ourselves and we like physically cannot do it. [00:14:12] We suck it. [00:14:12] We could never sell out because no one, we couldn't do it. [00:14:16] We physically can't do it. [00:14:18] I can't do it. [00:14:19] I can't do it. [00:14:20] I don't know. [00:14:20] We're not good at it. [00:14:22] We could do ad reads. [00:14:25] We got a hawk tool on that. [00:14:28] Hawk to a. [00:14:29] Yeah. [00:14:30] You can get hotcoin.com slash true and on podcast. [00:14:33] Oh my god. [00:14:34] True coin. [00:14:35] We never did true coin and we could have done it at the first time. [00:14:38] Barely. [00:14:39] I didn't actually suggest it. [00:14:40] We didn't. [00:14:41] We like sold it back accidentally. [00:14:44] I felt too guilty to take the money back. [00:14:47] This is why you should trust us. [00:14:49] With everything. [00:14:50] Including your social security number, which you can send. [00:14:53] What would I do with someone's social security? [00:14:55] That's the thing is, like, people are like, don't give your social security. [00:14:57] What are you going to do with it? [00:14:58] They open up a credit card in your name. [00:15:00] Okay. [00:15:01] Tank your credit. [00:15:02] It's fake. [00:15:03] That's what we all do. [00:15:04] It's a hassle. [00:15:06] Yeah, but at least I'm. [00:15:07] I actually did get a letter. [00:15:09] I got a letter that said someone's using my social security number to apply for a job. [00:15:13] Really? [00:15:13] Yeah. [00:15:14] That's nice. [00:15:15] I hope they got the job. [00:15:16] That's how they know it's not you. [00:15:17] Oh, that's nice of the person. [00:15:19] Well, I mean, they probably need it. [00:15:20] That means they're undocumented. [00:15:22] The IRS sent it, and I was like, okay. [00:15:24] Well, I guess good luck. [00:15:26] My credit is still amazing. [00:15:29] It's like 100. [00:15:31] It's 100. [00:15:32] Yeah. [00:15:32] That's great. [00:15:33] It's one of the highest numbers. [00:15:36] It is a good, yeah, that is one of those things that you always hear when you were a kid. [00:15:39] What, 100%? [00:15:40] People don't really. [00:15:41] No. [00:15:41] Social security number thing. [00:15:42] Yeah. [00:15:43] Well, I don't have a social security card. [00:15:44] I don't have a birth certificate. [00:15:47] You know, you can get copies of those. [00:15:49] I know, but that is a hassle. [00:15:50] Vital check. [00:15:52] What do you mean? [00:15:53] That's what you go to. [00:15:53] Vital Check. [00:15:56] What? [00:15:57] You go to the Social Security office. [00:15:58] Wow. [00:15:59] None of you have ever been in a position where you needed to order important documents. [00:16:03] No. [00:16:04] No, because I keep that thing on me. [00:16:06] Well, I have to say, now we'll say some websites. [00:16:10] It's VitalCheck, V-I-T-A-L-C-H-E-K.com. [00:16:17] Vital Check. [00:16:18] Vital Check. [00:16:19] And you can, as long as you live in a participating state or actually not live in, but your records are located in a participating state, order. [00:16:30] Because otherwise, you got to go to the Hall of Records. [00:16:33] You have to go. [00:16:33] I know. [00:16:34] I've been there. [00:16:34] And you got to talk to Sandra or whatever. [00:16:36] Yeah. [00:16:37] And it's like, and you're full. [00:16:39] I know how to get attention in there. [00:16:41] And then take your shirt off. [00:16:42] You do so well with bureaucrats. [00:16:44] I do really good with bureaucrats. [00:16:45] They love you. [00:16:46] Because you know my DMV thing when I was like, I started yelling at the lady and I got, because she was being mean to me. [00:16:51] I said, being mean to her, and it worked. [00:16:53] That's crazy. [00:16:54] Speaking of language. [00:16:55] Yeah. [00:16:55] Remember the smudge? [00:16:56] Yeah. [00:16:57] Don't get me started the smudge. [00:16:59] That's deep lore. [00:17:00] That is not for public consumption. [00:17:03] You can get your birth, death, marriage, and divorce. [00:17:06] You can get everything there. [00:17:07] I'll have one of each. [00:17:08] Yeah. [00:17:09] It's a real grub. [00:17:12] Anyway. [00:17:13] I love you, listeners. [00:17:14] That's our ad read for vitalcheck.com. [00:17:18] That's not true. [00:17:19] Everyone knows it's the opposite. [00:17:21] Don't interrupt my conversation. [00:17:23] Can we go, please? [00:17:24] We can go. [00:17:24] I actually do have to go home right now. [00:17:26] My name is Bryce. [00:17:28] Bryce. [00:17:30] We already did that. [00:17:31] We did it. [00:17:31] Just sit down. [00:17:32] Say us off. [00:17:33] Do yours. [00:17:34] Fucking do yours. [00:17:34] This is producer Young Chomsky Chag Samayech. [00:17:38] And we'll see you next year. [00:17:40] Bye-bye.