True Anon Truth Feed - MAGA-log
Aired: 2024-01-02
Duration: 18:36


=== Anything Could Happen (04:59) ===

[00:00:00]  Hey, welcome to me and my daughter's podcast.
[00:00:03]  What are you doing?
[00:00:03]  Brace.
[00:00:04]  Yep.
[00:00:06]  Happy New Year.
[00:00:07]  Happy.
[00:00:08]  Crappy New Year.
[00:00:09]  Crappy New Year.
[00:00:11]  Wait.
[00:00:11]  It just started.
[00:00:12]  How could it be crappy already?
[00:00:13]  It's dude, be honest with them, Liz.
[00:00:16]  Has it just started?
[00:00:18]  It started by the time they listened to this, but it hasn't started by the time we're recording this.
[00:00:22]  Well, it's called movie magic.
[00:00:25]  Anything could happen between now and tomorrow.
[00:00:28]  I have a question.
[00:00:29]  Yes.
[00:00:30]  Do you have any predictions for the new year?
[00:00:36]  Like, let's do a vibe check.
[00:00:38]  What's your vibe check on 2024?
[00:00:40]  I think 2024 is probably going to be the greatest year in human history.
[00:00:44]  I am predicting bounties, utopia.
[00:00:48]  Okay.
[00:00:49]  I think that people will invent new ways to be content.
[00:00:55]  I think the internet is going to bring us many surprises and hijinks.
[00:01:00]  And I think that there's going to be a new kind of money.
[00:01:04]  Oh, I like that.
[00:01:05]  Yeah.
[00:01:05]  Like a new form of money that we haven't even thought of yet.
[00:01:08]  That's great because I had written down bountiful cornucopia.
[00:01:11]  Okay.
[00:01:12]  Yeah.
[00:01:12]  Which is very similar to where you're going.
[00:01:14]  Yeah.
[00:01:15]  This whole thing.
[00:01:16]  I think the girls are going to do something different this year, too.
[00:01:20]  Well, we like to keep you on your toes.
[00:01:22]  Definitely keep me on my toes because I'm tiptoeing around on fucking eggshells whenever these women are.
[00:01:28]  You can't hug people anymore.
[00:01:30]  And it's crazy because you can hug women, but you have to do it over one arm over the shoulder and you kind of like touch your shoulders.
[00:01:37]  It's like a football maneuver.
[00:01:38]  Sorry, what's the other?
[00:01:41]  No, I do, I form an X with my hands while you're doing a double over.
[00:01:46]  A double over and I keep the crotch extremely far, extremely far, but I bring my nipples as close as possible.
[00:01:57]  Sure.
[00:01:57]  And I go.
[00:01:59]  Yeah, chest to chest, bear claw, butts out.
[00:02:04]  I am, I am, I have like, I look like I'm at a gym or something.
[00:02:08]  Like, my shit is out like that.
[00:02:09]  I'm like, I look like I'm about to fucking do whatever they do with the football between the legs.
[00:02:15]  Yeah, hike a football.
[00:02:16]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:02:17]  You're going into, yeah, you're doing a little pike.
[00:02:19]  And then I go back and I, I, hands on the shoulders and I say, you can do anything.
[00:02:25]  Okay.
[00:02:26]  You can, you could be an astronaut.
[00:02:28]  Oh, that's nice.
[00:02:29]  Yeah.
[00:02:29]  Or you could be a janitor.
[00:02:31]  You could, I think.
[00:02:32]  The open and you just tell people, hey, hey.
[00:02:34]  You can do anything.
[00:02:35]  You can do anything.
[00:02:36]  They don't, no one knows what to do with that.
[00:02:38]  What are you saying?
[00:02:38]  Is that like in life in general?
[00:02:40]  You mean right this moment?
[00:02:42]  To me?
[00:02:43]  And it's all yes.
[00:02:44]  It's all yes.
[00:02:45]  So you're saying 2024, it's all yes.
[00:02:48]  It's all yes.
[00:02:49]  Unless, you know, sometimes it's no.
[00:02:52]  I got to tell you, Liz, I feel like you told me a long time ago in confidence, but I'm going to reveal it on the podcast.
[00:02:59]  Told me that everything is permitted.
[00:03:03]  Everything.
[00:03:03]  That everything, that when it comes to like that, that for you, there are no boundaries.
[00:03:08]  There are no rules.
[00:03:10]  There are no laws.
[00:03:11]  That like anything, as long as it serves the power of Liz, anything is okay.
[00:03:20]  And we should get to why we're doing this.
[00:03:25]  Why are we doing this?
[00:03:26]  We have gone so far off the rails.
[00:03:28]  We should introduce ourselves.
[00:03:30]  Oh, I'm Liz.
[00:03:32]  My name is Brace.
[00:03:33]  We are joined by producer Young Chomsky and the podcast is called.
[00:03:37]  It's called True Nine.
[00:03:40]  Hello.
[00:03:40]  Hello.
[00:03:41]  Here's the thing.
[00:03:42]  This is not a podcast.
[00:03:43]  This is not a well, this is a podcast, but this isn't a True Anon episode.
[00:03:47]  In the greater, you know, the Royal Wii version, this is the podcast.
[00:03:53]  Yes.
[00:03:54]  Right now, what we're doing right now, it's not a podcast.
[00:03:57]  What is the Royal Wii version of that?
[00:03:59]  People know what I mean.
[00:04:00]  I know that.
[00:04:01]  Someone knows what I mean.
[00:04:02]  Is this going to be numbered?
[00:04:03]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:04:06]  Is this who are you shaking your head to?
[00:04:08]  Are you shaking your head to both of us?
[00:04:10]  I can't see who you're pointing to.
[00:04:12]  No, I'm not saying that.
[00:04:12]  You're pointing to Liz and my screen, brace.
[00:04:15]  I know in Liz's screen, you're pointing to me.
[00:04:17]  Anyways, so this won't be a numbered episode, which is good because I'm unique.
[00:04:20]  I have an identity.
[00:04:21]  I am a person.
[00:04:21]  I'm a human being.
[00:04:23]  This is an advertisement.
[00:04:24]  This is an advertorial, actually, Liz, is what we're doing right here.
[00:04:27]  That's nice.
[00:04:28]  Do people still do those?
[00:04:29]  Oh, I guess that's like influencer content.
[00:04:32]  Everything is advertorial.
[00:04:33]  He calls it advertorials, though.
[00:04:35]  Yeah, that's kind of like to also call things.
[00:04:38]  What?
[00:04:39]  You're going to love this one.
[00:04:40]  You're going to love it so much.
[00:04:41]  I can't wait to see your reaction.
[00:04:46]  Jesus Christ, Liz.
[00:04:50]  That's so mean.
[00:04:52]  No, they used to call it.
[00:04:56]  They used to call them MAGALogs.
[00:04:59]  MAGALOGs?

=== Why You'll Love It (12:20) ===

[00:05:00]  Yeah.
[00:05:00]  Oh, because like MAGA, what's the log from?
[00:05:03]  Catalog.
[00:05:05]  Isn't that awful?
[00:05:07]  It's awful.
[00:05:08]  That sucks.
[00:05:08]  That sucks, dick.
[00:05:10]  Yeah, it does.
[00:05:10]  So this is an audio MAGA log.
[00:05:13]  This is this is because we're going MAGA.
[00:05:15]  We are going.
[00:05:16]  We're going to make America Great Again.
[00:05:18]  We're going to make America Great Again with a new product that we're unveiling today.
[00:05:23]  We are doing true and non-themed style red Make America Great Again hats that you wear thinking that you're being clever, but then everybody who sees you on the street just sees that you're wearing a MAGA hat and is like, that's kind of crazy.
[00:05:36]  And then walks closer to you and then sees it says something like, decolonialize this or whatever.
[00:05:42]  America.
[00:05:43]  Turtle Island again.
[00:05:44]  Yeah.
[00:05:45]  That's actually, I'm lying.
[00:05:47]  Make gender women again.
[00:05:49]  Yeah.
[00:05:50]  Or the opposite.
[00:05:52]  Yeah.
[00:05:52]  Well, we sell both.
[00:05:54]  We sell both.
[00:05:55]  We should just always sell on every MAGA hat.
[00:05:58]  Just like when we would read concert dates.
[00:06:01]  This is how I feel right now.
[00:06:03]  Because we're just talking.
[00:06:04]  Listen, it's neat.
[00:06:05]  We have been working.
[00:06:06]  I will say this.
[00:06:07]  I will, and this is in all truth.
[00:06:09]  We have been working like dogs.
[00:06:11]  And I don't mean the kind of dogs that you sit around and pet and like take on walks, or if you sometimes some people have sex with.
[00:06:20]  We're talking about the dogs they have in Alaska that function in the similar manner that horses do in terms of carriages.
[00:06:25]  We've been working like the dogs that take people around on them little sleds.
[00:06:29]  Yeah, or that round up the sheep.
[00:06:31]  Or that round up the sheep.
[00:06:32]  Although I used to live with one of those dogs and he wasn't, he didn't work very hard.
[00:06:35]  Well, you weren't on a farm.
[00:06:37]  I wasn't on a farm, but I was surrounded by motherfucking sheep as I might be right now.
[00:06:41]  Unless you changed my mind.
[00:06:45]  But we are, where are we going with this?
[00:06:47]  Oh, we are, we are, we've been working really fucking hard behind the goddamn scenes in order to bring you something that is coming out very soon.
[00:06:59]  Well, we're announcing it today.
[00:07:00]  Oh, yeah, that is what this is.
[00:07:02]  Yeah, and you probably will have seen something about it, but even before you've heard this, which I think is great for you.
[00:07:08]  But it's called Storm the Capital, the board game.
[00:07:12]  We are putting out a board game based around the events of January 6th, 2021.
[00:07:19]  Now, Liz, you were there that day.
[00:07:22]  Yes.
[00:07:23]  So I was there to, when in the kind of making of this game, I was there to make sure that it all stuck to very accurately to what the intense experience was like.
[00:07:35]  Liz is kind of like those Vietnam vets they would have on hand to be like, oh no, we didn't burn the village like this or whatever.
[00:07:41]  No, but January 6th was, I will, in all honesty, any joking aside, was so fucking funny.
[00:07:50]  Yes.
[00:07:51]  It was, I think, probably one of the, I'm not going to say one of the best days of my life because I've had plenty of great days that didn't involve January 6th.
[00:07:59]  But in terms of watching something on TV, I think that was the best day of watching things on TV I've ever had in my life.
[00:08:08]  A true carnival of American curiosities.
[00:08:11]  It was a fucking freak show.
[00:08:14]  A slice of life.
[00:08:16]  Yes.
[00:08:16]  And what a slice and what a life it was.
[00:08:19]  And so, you know, we would, we've been talking, and the only, you know, a lot of people called it 9-11, right?
[00:08:27]  I was like, nine, it was the new 9-11, which I don't really love this.
[00:08:30]  I feel like that's disrespectful to 9-11.
[00:08:32]  I'm just going to say.
[00:08:33]  I'm going to say very disrespectful.
[00:08:35]  Because it was, if we're, now that we use 9-11 as a metric to like in terms of numbers of people dying, stop doing that.
[00:08:42]  There's like eight people that died in January 6th, and like only like five of them died that day.
[00:08:48]  And most of them died from being too excited.
[00:08:50]  I'm going to be real.
[00:08:50]  I thought it was way less than that.
[00:08:52]  Well, it's like, did you die from January 6th or did you die at January 6th?
[00:08:58]  From was just the one, right?
[00:09:00]  That, yeah, and what a one it was.
[00:09:02]  Good lord, but the others were all at or nearby.
[00:09:06]  And I feel like if we're using that metric, I mean, imagine if on 9-11, they were like, How many people died nearby 9-11 included it?
[00:09:13]  Because, like, it's like, okay, so you died like in Midtown because, like, you choked on a fucking set, like a sandwich or whatever.
[00:09:21]  Like, it's well, and then they'll get me started on COVID-19, but well, though, it's maybe for another time, kind of also a 9-11 event, but longer, anyways.
[00:09:33]  We're putting out a board game based on the events of January 6th, 2021.
[00:09:37]  In this board game, you play as one of six Patriots, non-actionable characters.
[00:09:43]  They are, I'm going to say, three-dimensional, and I think I can stick by that, but I realize I don't really know the difference between three and two-dimensional.
[00:09:51]  That's very fascinating, but we will say this just to get you off of the get you off the hook there.
[00:09:57]  They're three-dimensional in the sense that they're very well-developed characters.
[00:10:02]  Yes, that is straight facts, Liz.
[00:10:05]  They are very well-developed characters who are based on nobody in particular.
[00:10:08]  And you play, there's Patriots.
[00:10:10]  You play as one of six of the Patriots.
[00:10:12]  This is a game that you have to play with all of your many friends, which I'm sure you have.
[00:10:16]  The goal of the Patriots in this game is to go from room to room, overturning desks, and you either get an event card, which plays out a wacky little event, or you get ballots, which are the game's equivalent of points, or there is nothing under the desks.
[00:10:32]  And unfortunately, you go, oh no, there was nothing under there, and you have to keep going.
[00:10:37]  In the game, you have to get 100 ballots and then make it to the roof where Donald J. Trump whisks you away in his helicopter and you change the results of the 2021 election.
[00:10:50]  Now, or ratify the real results of the 2020 election, depending on what you think happened there.
[00:10:57]  That is very, very, very true.
[00:11:00]  And this game, we do want to stress again, not joking, this game is for every single person in America on every single side of every single political issue.
[00:11:11]  And one player plays as the Capitol Police.
[00:11:14]  The goal of the Capitol Police officer is to prevent any of the Patriots from getting 100 ballots and getting whisked away by Donald J. Trump on the roof.
[00:11:23]  You have to prevent them from doing that by the end of the 10th turn of the game, at which point the National Guard tank, which has been moving, it's like sort of the turn counter, has gotten to the 10th and you win the game and the Patriots lose and Joe Biden becomes president.
[00:11:38]  The game is very fun, I think.
[00:11:41]  I played it so many times.
[00:11:43]  It's very fun.
[00:11:44]  It's very silly.
[00:11:45]  It's goofy.
[00:11:46]  It's a riot of a time.
[00:11:48]  I think it's going to cause a cultural coup.
[00:11:51]  I think so too.
[00:11:52]  I think, I'm like, I do genuinely think.
[00:11:54]  I'm like, I think that everybody can enjoy this.
[00:11:57]  This is like the first, I feel like I usually have lived my life around trying to make people mad at me.
[00:12:03]  And now I think I'm doing the opposite of I'm trying to be like, I love, I'm not mad at anybody.
[00:12:08]  Wow.
[00:12:09]  You know what?
[00:12:11]  That's growth.
[00:12:12]  It's grow.
[00:12:13]  I forgive everybody involved in January 6th.
[00:12:18]  But it is, it is a, it is a very fun game.
[00:12:21]  We developed it in conjunction with our friends from Creamhound.
[00:12:27]  And we are putting out a limited true Anon edition of the game.
[00:12:32]  Yeah, it's super exclusive.
[00:12:34]  AKA only available at true non.com.
[00:12:37]  Super, super, super limited quantities.
[00:12:39]  Can't stress that enough.
[00:12:42]  We really anticipate a lot of people really liking this.
[00:12:46]  And we want people who are our listeners and our fans and our supporters for so long.
[00:12:52]  Hello, you guys, to be able to get a copy before it sells out.
[00:12:58]  So we are letting you know here first that it'll be available on, of course, naturally, you know, we had to do it.
[00:13:06]  January 6th.
[00:13:07]  That's right.
[00:13:08]  2024.
[00:13:09]  At what time?
[00:13:10]  I don't know if we decided yet.
[00:13:12]  I think it's noon.
[00:13:14]  Well, we can talk about it.
[00:13:15]  We can talk about it.
[00:13:16]  We'll let you know.
[00:13:17]  I'm going to say that sounds fine.
[00:13:18]  Noon standard, whatever.
[00:13:21]  Noon standard?
[00:13:22]  I don't know.
[00:13:23]  Noon Eastern, 9 a.m. Pacific.
[00:13:25]  How about that?
[00:13:26]  Let's do that.
[00:13:26]  Cause I'm like, listen, I don't like it when people release things at 9 a.m. Eastern because you're from the West Coast at 6 a.m.
[00:13:34]  Well, some of us get up early.
[00:13:36]  Yeah, well, some of us don't.
[00:13:38]  Wow.
[00:13:38]  And this is a game for everybody.
[00:13:39]  That's why they say you snooze, you lose.
[00:13:41]  That is.
[00:13:42]  They do fucking say that.
[00:13:43]  But I snooze all the time and I'm a motherfucking way.
[00:13:46]  Anyways, it is coming out on January 6th.
[00:13:48]  Like Liz said, it is a very, very limited true Anon edition of the game.
[00:13:57]  And I think you guys will enjoy it very much.
[00:14:00]  It is a, we, it has been a journey playing this motherfucker.
[00:14:05]  Yeah, it's a lot of fun.
[00:14:07]  And, you know, it's going to heal the nation.
[00:14:10]  Well, that's another thing, too, is because people always talk about like what products changed everything.
[00:14:15]  I'm going to be honest with you.
[00:14:16]  The ones I can think of, peanut butter.
[00:14:18]  Sure.
[00:14:18]  I think the wheel was crazy.
[00:14:20]  Fire was, I mean, I don't want to say it, but fire.
[00:14:26]  And I think that.
[00:14:27]  You know which one went crazy too?
[00:14:29]  Glue.
[00:14:30]  Glue?
[00:14:31]  Yeah.
[00:14:32]  That was fucked because before that, you had to tie shit with twine.
[00:14:35]  You know what else?
[00:14:36]  I think a product that I really wish I had invented, you know, and I, unfortunately, the only thing a guy I can think of that has these is the dude that killed his wife.
[00:14:44]  But those things, when you lose your legs, they kind of put like blades underneath them, like pogo stick kind of bouncy things.
[00:14:52]  Yeah.
[00:14:52]  That's crazy.
[00:14:53]  They did that.
[00:14:55]  Also, Botox.
[00:14:56]  Botoxes, I don't really get how that works though, but it's cool.
[00:15:00]  That's I'm not gonna say cool, but it's crazy they did that.
[00:15:03]  It is crazy.
[00:15:04]  BBLs, I mean, while we're on the topic, is also too much.
[00:15:08]  I think that was too.
[00:15:09]  That's you flew too close to the sun on that one.
[00:15:12]  That one, I do feel like people pushed it too far and then they had to reel it back.
[00:15:16]  Yeah, they should be a very dangerous procedure.
[00:15:18]  I don't actually think that's a good example.
[00:15:21]  Well, I don't remember exactly what we're giving example.
[00:15:23]  I was just kind of inventing cigarettes.
[00:15:25]  Because you got your own little can there that fits the chip, which is very cool.
[00:15:30]  They did chips in a new way, which I feel like outside of Dorito's 3D really good.
[00:15:37]  Those were really good.
[00:15:38]  I used to eat Doritos 3D in the garage, so my parents would.
[00:15:41]  They're too pokey, too sharp.
[00:15:44]  What are you talking about?
[00:15:45]  No, they're soft.
[00:15:46]  They're like pillows.
[00:15:48]  For me, you know how people – I think they're trying to chase the combo.
[00:15:50]  I don't know how to describe the way that a lot of people dress now, but you know how people dress in like big hoodies, but they're made out of like a kind of like – There's a lot of – They're really big clothes, but they look like – it's like LA seeming to me.
[00:16:07]  That's like made out of like this crazy sweatpants kind of material.
[00:16:11]  You know what I'm talking about?
[00:16:12]  It's like people wear giant, it's kind of like how Billy Eilish dresses, but that's not.
[00:16:16]  It's just giant sweatsuits.
[00:16:18]  No, but it's like a giant sweatsuit, but it's like made out of a material.
[00:16:21]  It's like soft looking or whatever.
[00:16:23]  It's not terry cloth?
[00:16:25]  It might be terrycloth.
[00:16:26]  It's just sweatshirts.
[00:16:28]  They're pills.
[00:16:29]  There's a lot of pills on them.
[00:16:30]  Maybe a flea.
[00:16:31]  Anyways, those all look like Doritos 3Ds to me.
[00:16:33]  So it's like when I used to see skate shoes, they would remind me of Sabaro's pizza.
[00:16:37]  And when I see, maybe I'm a synesthesia.
[00:16:41]  Like when I see clothes, it reminds me of different foods that they kind of look like.
[00:16:46]  So I think.
[00:16:46]  I'm going to show you TikTok about that.
[00:16:48]  I think we have synesthesia.
[00:16:49]  Is it the skate shoes?
[00:16:50]  Because they're kind of like flat and wide.
[00:16:51]  They look like a Sabaro pizza.
[00:16:53]  They're like fatty.
[00:16:54]  No, they look like.
[00:16:55]  Because I hadn't seen that big of pizza at that point in my life.
[00:16:57]  I was like 12.
[00:16:59]  I hadn't seen pizza.
[00:17:00]  Did you Sabaro that big or was it the box?
[00:17:01]  See, this is kind of a Pringles situation.
[00:17:03]  They also invented a box for their pizza.
[00:17:05]  Pringles?
[00:17:06]  Oh, Sabaro.
[00:17:07]  Yeah.
[00:17:08]  It was the triangular box.
[00:17:10]  I don't know if they invented it.
[00:17:11]  It was a slice box.
[00:17:11]  Well, but it was very recognizable.
[00:17:13]  Yeah.
[00:17:14]  I loved Sabaro, but then I, then I, as a child, I loved Sabaro.
[00:17:18]  And then I grew older and I sort of got over it.

=== Stop Hugging Sabaro (01:16) ===

[00:17:20]  And then I saw, I had like a life-changing moment in like 2014.
[00:17:24]  I was in the airport and I saw Sabaro had breakfast pizza.
[00:17:27]  And I was like, that's fucking gross, dude.
[00:17:29]  And I just never, I never ate it again.
[00:17:31]  Yeah.
[00:17:32]  I think that was a good move.
[00:17:33]  Yeah.
[00:17:34]  Okay.
[00:17:35]  New Year's resolutions.
[00:17:37]  To buy Storm the Capitol, the board game, available exclusively in limited quantities at truan.com on January 6th, 2024, 9 a.m. Pacific, 12 noon Eastern.
[00:17:55]  My New Year's resolution is to stop hugging so much.
[00:18:00]  But unfortunately, I can't put that into action until we've sold every copy of Storm the Capital, the board game, that's available at Truanon.com January 6th, 2024.
[00:18:14]  We love you.
[00:18:15]  Bye-bye.
[00:18:36]  Come out.