True Anon Truth Feed - [PREVIEW] Episode 293: A Tale of Two Techies
Aired: 2023-05-25
Duration: 04:55


=== Wearables And Weaponized Microchips (04:51) ===

[00:00:04]  Microchips, cyberware, Google Glass.
[00:00:09]  Silicon Valley is known for pushing boundaries and exploring new frontiers.
[00:00:14]  But when the Wi-Fi goes off and the MacBook shuts down, the techies come out to play.
[00:00:20]  Maybe you've heard whispers about the lifestyle and what exactly these pencil-necked geeks are getting up to after the Google bus makes its final stop.
[00:00:31]  The free spirit of Bill Gates, Steve Wozniak, and the Operation Paperclip scientist lives on today in the boudoirs and dank garages of what many are calling SexyCon Valley.
[00:00:43]  So slip off your Allbirds, grease up your freaky thing, and remember, here in the Valley, the Apple Watch stays on.
[00:00:52]  The fembots from Austin Powers,
[00:01:22]  B, those are, that's technology, right?
[00:01:28]  Well, technically, those are wearables.
[00:01:30]  Those are wearables.
[00:01:31]  God, those were.
[00:01:32]  Talking about the.
[00:01:32]  They were.
[00:01:33]  Well, no, I'm not talking about just the.
[00:01:35]  The titty can.
[00:01:36]  And those were integrated into the breast apparatus.
[00:01:41]  I thought it was the top, the maribou top.
[00:01:43]  In my memory, I haven't seen Austin Powers in a while.
[00:01:46]  Two, three days.
[00:01:48]  Oh, like that is their bot quality.
[00:01:49]  I think that they are robots, and within their robots.
[00:01:56]  the technical term is hoo-hahs within their robot hoo-hahs rest some yeah f***ing I mean, frankly, rifle caliber barrels.
[00:02:06]  And apparently that's some kind of internal mechanism for where do you think they kept the ammunition?
[00:02:11]  You think they were just hollow and spine?
[00:02:14]  I was thinking so.
[00:02:14]  That would be kind of elegant, right?
[00:02:16]  Like, imagine it all like as if like, you know, a little spinal cord, but it's all ammo for their booby gun.
[00:02:21]  And to me, I think like a machine gun, you know, like how they keep the bullets and links.
[00:02:27]  I'm thinking coiled in their breast with an extra down the spine in case they run out.
[00:02:32]  But that's a lot of, lot of ammunition just to begin with.
[00:02:36]  I would have made them into some kind of like FedEat where they would have blown up, blown themselves up, and they would have gone.
[00:02:42]  So let's take this a step further and say, okay, that was the 90s version.
[00:02:46]  That was like robot booby gun.
[00:02:50]  Femmbot.
[00:02:51]  Where's the wearable?
[00:02:53]  Where's my maribou bathing suit, triangle top, but boom, actually hidden booby?
[00:03:00]  Guns.
[00:03:00]  Because they did start making like credit card guns, kind of, that you can like, it's like a .22 caliber single shot gun that I can fit in your wallet.
[00:03:09]  Yeah.
[00:03:10]  I don't think it works very well.
[00:03:11]  But there does need to be something for women.
[00:03:15]  All these 3D printers need like way more imagination.
[00:03:18]  They're like, oh, I'm going to print a gun that looks like a real gun.
[00:03:21]  We need bras.
[00:03:22]  Yeah.
[00:03:23]  We need bras.
[00:03:24]  How about this?
[00:03:24]  Print something that I've never seen before.
[00:03:26]  Because here's the thing, too.
[00:03:28]  Here's the thing.
[00:03:28]  If I have, like, say, say I'm in a kinetic life or death situation, right?
[00:03:33]  And I'm like, hold on.
[00:03:35]  I have to just take this bra out of my backpack really quick before you rob me.
[00:03:39]  Yeah, to show it off because I have line, oh, it's from a girl.
[00:03:42]  Yeah.
[00:03:43]  Distract the person.
[00:03:44]  And then you can be like, bro, let me tell you the story.
[00:03:47]  I was with the girl.
[00:03:49]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:03:50]  Totally.
[00:03:50]  They don't see it coming.
[00:03:51]  They think they're about to see you coming.
[00:03:52]  They'll freak out because like any red-blooded American male, if I see a bra, I go insane.
[00:03:59]  Well, yeah, your whole tongue starts, you know, it comes rolls out, hits the floor.
[00:04:04]  I got this steam coming out of your ears.
[00:04:07]  Frankly, I've been put on a registry.
[00:04:09]  I've been put on a registry for it.
[00:04:11]  Oh, my God.
[00:04:11]  Not the sex offender registry.
[00:04:13]  A different one.
[00:04:16]  Hello, everyone.
[00:04:17]  Hello.
[00:04:17]  My name is Brace, and I'm legally required to tell you that I am within three inches of a motherfucking microphone.
[00:04:28]  Oh, no.
[00:04:30]  We got a.
[00:04:30]  Oh, no.
[00:04:31]  I thought you were going to go with the school and it was going to be funny, but no, the microphone.
[00:04:35]  That's funny.
[00:04:35]  Do you know the school thing?
[00:04:37]  I didn't go near a school.
[00:04:38]  Hello, everyone.
[00:04:39]  Kids love me.
[00:04:40]  I don't think we're near a school, right?
[00:04:42]  Let me check my app.
[00:04:45]  I'm Liz.
[00:04:45]  Hello, everyone.
[00:04:46]  And we are, of course, here with my personal teacher who taught me everything that I know, Young Chomsky.
[00:04:52]  And the podcast is called.
[00:04:54]  True Anon.
[00:04:54]  Hello.
[00:04:55]  Hello.