True Anon Truth Feed - Episode 108: They F*ck Doggies, Don't They?
Aired: 2020-10-16
Duration: 01:21:54


=== Support for Truanon (03:24) ===

[00:00:00]  Greetings.
[00:00:01]  Rachel Jake here, Brace Belden, the gay pussy eater, whatever you want to call me.
[00:00:06]  But I come to you with my hat in my hands in my hands also over my heart.
[00:00:12]  It's like a heart thing.
[00:00:15]  Anyways, I'm having heart palpitations.
[00:00:17]  I got to talk to you.
[00:00:19]  There is a very important election coming up here in San Francisco.
[00:00:24]  My district supervisor, Dean Preston, who newly elected as of last year, passed the strongest tenant protections in all the country during COVID.
[00:00:33]  Really strong socialist supervisor is basically under financial assault from some of the biggest scumbags in the country.
[00:00:41]  Not even just in San Francisco.
[00:00:42]  I'm talking John Pritzker is donating to this thing.
[00:00:45]  But what is this thing?
[00:00:46]  This thing is a giant fucking super PAC that is spending $3.8 million against him and $4 million against his measure I.
[00:00:54]  It's a proposition he put on the ballot to basically charge real estate speculators a tax that would pay everyone's back rent in San Francisco who was not able to pay it during COVID and then would later be used to fund social housing.
[00:01:08]  This has not proved popular amongst the kind of people that we make this podcast about.
[00:01:13]  And they are putting more money against him than I think anyone's ever put against a single candidate in the entire city's history.
[00:01:19]  The guy's only been in office a year.
[00:01:20]  Anyways, as you can imagine, we do not have much money.
[00:01:24]  And so if you could go, if you were one of those money bag Cayman Islands type Truanon listeners, you got to go to voted.com.
[00:01:32]  I'm not spelling that out for you.
[00:01:33]  You know how to spell both those words.
[00:01:35]  Voteean.com slash donate.
[00:01:37]  Donate some fucking money.
[00:01:39]  If you live in San Francisco and you want to possibly kill a podcaster that you like kind of stalk, you know, taxi driver style for a while, you know, seeing him at various political events and then try to eventually fail shooting him, you can also hit get involved there and I will see you at some sort of rally, something like that.
[00:02:00]  I will be under armed guard, so don't fucking try nothing.
[00:02:03]  Anyways, that's voted.com slash donate.
[00:02:06]  The guy's name is Dean Preston.
[00:02:07]  Great guy.
[00:02:07]  Fucking check him out.
[00:02:09]  And let's start the episode.
[00:02:11]  Support for Truanon comes from Deutsche Bank.
[00:02:14]  In this fast-paced digital first world, you need a fast-paced digital first bank ready to operate at your speed.
[00:02:21]  Deutsche Bank's banking app lets you launder your money anytime, anywhere.
[00:02:25]  Deutsche Bank, this is money laundering.
[00:02:28]  Reimagined.
[00:02:29]  What's on your tax form?
[00:02:31]  Deutsche Bank.
[00:02:32]  Support for Truanon comes from Tesla Motors.
[00:02:36]  Tesla Motors, an overvalued battery company that can't effectively compete in a world market with a subpar product, but continues to pay their existing investors with funds collected from new investors, promising your investment in their stock will generate high returns with little or no risk, depending on the whims of Elon Musk.
[00:02:55]  Tesla Motors, evading SEC and DOJ scrutiny for over 17 years, accelerating the transition to unsustainable growth founded on fraudulent accounting schemes.
[00:03:06]  Tesla Motors San Francisco's a dog's town.
[00:03:16]  I know that's not what comes to your mind when you think of it.
[00:03:18]  You think of the Twitter sign, the robot policeman, maybe the naked men with rings around their penis.

=== A Pair of Pooches Named Bummer (09:39) ===

[00:03:25]  But at its core, this is a canine city.
[00:03:27]  The people just live here.
[00:03:30]  The most famous dogs in the city's history were, at one point, a pair of pooches named Bummer and Lazarus.
[00:03:36]  This was in 1860, where the best work a dog could get was rat catching at the local saloons.
[00:03:41]  And that's exactly what Bummer was up to.
[00:03:44]  He was good at his job.
[00:03:45]  He wasn't bloodthirsty.
[00:03:47]  For Bummer, catching rats was just a job, and he excelled at his work.
[00:03:52]  In 1861, Bummer rescued a small puppy who'd been injured by another dog, one of those bad dogs we hear so much about, and he nursed him back to health.
[00:04:02]  He fed the dog with his own mouth, his own food.
[00:04:05]  He licked the other dog's wounds, and the miraculous recovery led him to be named Lazarus.
[00:04:11]  After that, the two were inseparable.
[00:04:14]  Operas always reserved a pair of seats for them, and the man they accompanied, Emperor Norton himself.
[00:04:20]  They got free food at all the saloons, piled around with Mark Twain, the famous writer, and generally stuck their snouts into every nook and cranny of the growing city.
[00:04:28]  Now, Bummer and Lazarus.
[00:04:30]  Those two dogs were known.
[00:04:32]  I mean, really known.
[00:04:34]  Newspapers wrote about them.
[00:04:36]  Imagine that today.
[00:04:37]  A pair of famous dogs running wild through the city.
[00:04:40]  No leash, no owner, causing no problems.
[00:04:44]  But where are our famous dogs today?
[00:04:46]  In a city where dogs far outnumber children, where you're more likely to hear the bark of a chihuahua than see a 10-year-old Fortnite dancing, there's a silence when there should be a celebrated whine of an unmuzzled pooch.
[00:04:59]  But maybe you have heard of another pair of dogs, a pair of dogs that also had eccentric owners.
[00:05:05]  Maybe you've heard of Bain and Hera and the people who loved them, and maybe also had sex with them.
[00:05:11]  I'm Jad Abumrod, and for this week, we've got the story of a Jewish couple, the prison Nazi that they adopted and loved, a pair of energetic doggies, one of whom might have had sex with a white woman.
[00:05:23]  From KTRU San Francisco, it's Truanon, distributed by Patreon Radio International and produced by Young Chomsky.
[00:05:31]  I'm Liz Franczak.
[00:05:32]  And I'm Brace Belden.
[00:05:34]  with us.
[00:06:02]  You know, before, baby, before we really get going here, I just want to play a sound bite real quick that I think will really set the tone for what we already want to play more than once.
[00:06:15]  Okay, okay.
[00:06:17]  Roll right here.
[00:06:18]  He loved to lick people.
[00:06:21]  He licked me all over.
[00:06:22]  He licked Marjorie all over.
[00:06:24]  Perfect.
[00:06:25]  Now I'm in the mood.
[00:06:26]  That's like setting candles.
[00:06:27]  I'm setting intention.
[00:06:28]  I'm feeling good.
[00:06:30]  And I'm excited.
[00:06:32]  What are we talking about here, honey?
[00:06:34]  Well, okay, so before we start, I just want to say that.
[00:06:37]  Hello, everyone.
[00:06:38]  Welcome.
[00:06:41]  We have had a couple, we've had a couple of heavy episodes over the past couple weeks.
[00:06:47]  And so Bryce and I were talking, discussing, and we decided to do something a little different today, which is tell a story from that's very close to our hearts, I think, because we're both native San Franciscans, born and raised.
[00:07:04]  And this really hits home for us.
[00:07:07]  This is a very famous story that rocked the city in the early 2000s, pre-September 11th, by the way.
[00:07:16]  Yeah, actually, I would say that this was probably the most like, actually, in real life, not joking, I know the story of this better than I do at 9-11.
[00:07:27]  And we've done five episodes about 9-11.
[00:07:30]  Yes, yeah.
[00:07:31]  And I don't know the story that well.
[00:07:32]  No, it's no, this is one of those things that I forget about for much of the year.
[00:07:38]  And then like three or four times out of the year, you know, maybe once a season, it comes to me like a lightning bolt and my body is shocked.
[00:07:46]  I put my arms out, I put my legs out like a starfish, and I zizzle and zazzle with electricity.
[00:07:52]  Yeah, it's a fucking wild story.
[00:07:55]  So we're not, I mean, I wouldn't call ourselves a true crime podcast, although maybe some other people do.
[00:08:00]  So this is like a little different for us.
[00:08:02]  So, you know, bear with us.
[00:08:04]  We're going to try and do this the best we can.
[00:08:06]  But yeah, let's get into it.
[00:08:09]  Well, I think we should start first with probably the victim, right?
[00:08:15]  And really one of the only seemingly good people in a story that is extremely filled with absolute freaks and weirdos.
[00:08:23]  Yeah.
[00:08:24]  So without getting into too many of the details, I just want to give like a little bit of a brief overview.
[00:08:30]  And for anyone who grew up in the Bay Area, you probably know this story, but a lot of people don't, especially young people, even though it did get national attention, which we'll get into.
[00:08:42]  There's quite a media circus surrounding this story.
[00:08:44]  But basically, we are telling the story of a very famous dog mauling that occurred in the Pacific Heights neighborhood of San Francisco in 2001.
[00:08:57]  So two.
[00:08:58]  rather large dogs, and we're going to get into them in detail a little later in the show, mauled to death the woman named Diane Whipple in her apartment building in Pacific Heights in San Francisco.
[00:09:11]  And one of the most, I mean, not the most wild, because this is a story that features not just the Aryan Brotherhood, but possible dog sex, Kamala Harris, Kimberly Guilfoyle.
[00:09:23]  Runes.
[00:09:24]  There's runes, which you know I'm always looking out for.
[00:09:27]  Possible, literally possible, like, I don't know what it's called when your spirit lives, a possession, possession of another person for sexual exploits.
[00:09:38]  Yeah, also like the Mexican cartel or a Mexican cartel and dog fighting ring, you know, prisons.
[00:09:49]  And also, but one of the craziest parts is that also this case is like responsible for a major advancement in gay and lesbian civil rights.
[00:10:01]  Every single fucking thing about this is totally strange.
[00:10:07]  I think we should start first with Diane Whipple herself.
[00:10:10]  Okay.
[00:10:11]  Because she is one of the few sympathetic characters in rather a large cast, which just goes to show what kind of caliber people we're mostly dealing with here.
[00:10:21]  But at the time of the attack, Diane was about 33 years old.
[00:10:24]  She's from the East Coast, raised in Long Island.
[00:10:26]  And she seems to be like, most of her life was dominated by sports.
[00:10:30]  And she seemed to be pretty good at sports.
[00:10:32]  She was like an all-American.
[00:10:34]  What is an all-American athlete?
[00:10:35]  It's like best in the country, national love vault.
[00:10:38]  Oh, so I'm like an all-American podcaster.
[00:10:41]  Yes, baby, I think so.
[00:10:43]  Excellent.
[00:10:43]  Excellent.
[00:10:45]  She was a lacrosse player, but mostly seemed to just be like really athletic generally.
[00:10:49]  She moved to San Diego at one point and tried out for Olympic track and field.
[00:10:53]  And when she was down there, rather when she was down in LA, she met a woman named Sharon Smith.
[00:10:59]  And the way she described it is her friend came, or Sharon Smith came into a room where Diane was hanging out with her friends.
[00:11:06]  Diane grabbed her friend's hand and said, that is going to be mine.
[00:11:10]  Which I got to say, extremely alpha way to do things there.
[00:11:15]  That's very fantastic.
[00:11:16]  Exactly.
[00:11:17]  Absolutely.
[00:11:18]  Turns out she and Sharon got along very well.
[00:11:21]  They liked all the same sports.
[00:11:22]  They had the same politics.
[00:11:23]  They had the same sort of social views.
[00:11:25]  And they took up together.
[00:11:26]  They had a long distance relationship for a little bit until, well, because Sharon, I didn't mention, was living in San Francisco.
[00:11:34]  Diane moves up to San Francisco into an apartment in Pacific Heights with Sharon.
[00:11:40]  From what I understand, had a pretty loving relationship.
[00:11:43]  And remember, this is actually pretty, it sort of struck me that gay marriage has only been legal for like six years.
[00:11:49]  I mean, in California, longer, but like just how new gay marriage was because like they were essentially not married.
[00:11:57]  I think they were domestic partners or what was it like exactly called it?
[00:12:01]  Civil union was allowed or domestic partners.
[00:12:04]  Yeah.
[00:12:05]  I can't remember when, I can't remember exactly the sequence of that.
[00:12:09]  But I mean, it is crazy.
[00:12:10]  I mean, you know, we were talking about this and it's like, I mean, it wasn't even, I mean, like, Obama couldn't even run on supporting gay marriage.
[00:12:20]  It was so like not on the table for politicians.
[00:12:23]  And that was in 2008.
[00:12:26]  You know?
[00:12:26]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:12:28]  And like, you know, Gavin Newsom had his like little stunt there, but, you know, it didn't really work.
[00:12:33]  Which I commend him for.
[00:12:34]  That was good.
[00:12:35]  Yeah, I thought it was a little corny, but yeah, I mean, it wasn't, it wasn't bad.
[00:12:38]  Remember in Biden?
[00:12:39]  Let's, let's, let's skip over all that.
[00:12:42]  But, but remember the names Diane Whipple and Sharon Smith because they are the names of the only decent people that appear anywhere in this story.
[00:12:51]  Yeah.
[00:12:52]  So running through this cast of characters, we have to get into kind of the main, the two main guys here, the defendants in the case, Marjorie Knoller and Robert Noel.

=== Life Gamble Insights (09:23) ===

[00:13:04]  Now, I say Noel, but you say Noel?
[00:13:06]  I say Noel because he's sort of got a Santa Claus type appearance to him.
[00:13:10]  I figured there would have been an accent on the E or the O. What was the last time you saw like a guy like this with an accent in his name?
[00:13:18]  I don't know.
[00:13:18]  Maybe he's French.
[00:13:19]  Robert Christmas.
[00:13:21]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:13:22]  Robbie Christmas.
[00:13:24]  I want to start off with saying that Robert, let's start with Robert.
[00:13:28]  Robert is not an attractive man.
[00:13:30]  He looks like the sort of person who either audits you or gives you a ticket.
[00:13:34]  Like, when you look at this guy, it's like the kind of guy that is somehow taxing you financially.
[00:13:45]  Well, he's not even a man anymore because he died.
[00:13:48]  Yeah, yeah, very true.
[00:13:51]  But Robert grew up straight-laced, by all accounts, a nerd, as did his wife, but we'll get into her in a second.
[00:13:57]  While everybody else was smoking dope and having sex without condoms in the street, which made sense because condoms are just a totally fake thing that people can trick themselves into.
[00:14:07]  I mean, it's just bullshit.
[00:14:09]  Just ask the person.
[00:14:10]  This is like the second week in the row that you're on an anti-condom crusade.
[00:14:14]  Second week, sweethearts, about the 20th year.
[00:14:17]  It's just, I mean, it's like a fairly cool.
[00:14:18]  I mean, look, I'm right with you.
[00:14:19]  No one likes that.
[00:14:20]  Nobody likes them.
[00:14:21]  Stop pretending.
[00:14:22]  Why do people like them?
[00:14:23]  Exactly.
[00:14:24]  There's no even the flavored ones.
[00:14:26]  No one likes them.
[00:14:27]  Terrible.
[00:14:27]  Just stop pretending.
[00:14:28]  Let's just be honest.
[00:14:29]  No one likes them.
[00:14:30]  Just don't use a condom.
[00:14:32]  Just like the mask.
[00:14:33]  No one likes the mask either.
[00:14:35]  It's like the mask is a little bit different.
[00:14:36]  Life's a gamble.
[00:14:37]  Life's a gamble.
[00:14:40]  Also, yeah, it's bareback.
[00:14:42]  No, there's other methods of what?
[00:14:46]  Of putting rubber on your penis?
[00:14:47]  Because that's really what I've been doing.
[00:14:50]  It's like a gamble.
[00:14:51]  Literally, just don't.
[00:14:52]  Just pull out.
[00:14:53]  Okay, let's.
[00:14:55]  I'm sorry, but it works 99% of the time.
[00:14:58]  You just have to really trust each other.
[00:15:00]  It brings an extra.
[00:15:01]  Listen, anyways, so Robert was not.
[00:15:04]  I mean, actually, he was fucking without condoms because he got a wife and some kids at this point.
[00:15:08]  But whatever one else was partying, he was working for the DOJ as a tax lawyer, aka Erner Dario.
[00:15:16]  And one day, he just up and splits from his wife, fucking moves to San Diego, takes up with another broad.
[00:15:23]  He's working for the fucking, I think the federal, I think he's working for the federal attorney's office there.
[00:15:31]  That's not what that's called.
[00:15:32]  What should I call that?
[00:15:33]  What, the U.S. Attorney's Office?
[00:15:37]  Then one day, okay, okay.
[00:15:39]  The U.S. attorneys.
[00:15:40]  You know what?
[00:15:41]  Yeah.
[00:15:41]  You know what?
[00:15:41]  Keep that in.
[00:15:42]  I'm not ashamed.
[00:15:43]  I'm not ashamed.
[00:15:45]  This is going to be one of those episodes.
[00:15:47]  He takes up with another woman who later describes him as fucking crazy.
[00:15:53]  Until he moves to San Francisco and starts working at a boutique law for.
[00:15:57]  It's funny.
[00:15:58]  I actually also found out he gave money to the IRA around this time.
[00:16:01]  No shit, really.
[00:16:02]  Armored cars and tanks and guns came to take away our sons.
[00:16:07]  But every man must stand behind the men behind the wire.
[00:16:13]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:16:14]  Man of, you know, complicated man.
[00:16:17]  Well, he was literally an American Republican, and then he was just like, I guess he was like, oh, there's Republicans in Ireland.
[00:16:23]  I don't know.
[00:16:24]  Later became, of course, I've looked at his Facebook page, very much an anti-Trump kind of, never Trumper type.
[00:16:32]  he meets you know how when you're at work and you're like you're like damn I should talk to every woman here and see if they'll go out with me and HR is like by the way HR is like, you should fucking do it, bro.
[00:16:44]  Like, I'm serious, like, believe in yourself.
[00:16:46]  Like, just ask her, man.
[00:16:48]  The first thing you got to do is ask her.
[00:16:49]  They don't do that.
[00:16:50]  None of this is true.
[00:16:51]  Well, no, that is what happened.
[00:16:53]  Robert goes up to a paralegal at his work who is a buxom blonde.
[00:16:59]  And he asked her on a date within a week.
[00:17:01]  Bam.
[00:17:01]  They're fucking living together.
[00:17:03]  Both of them were married.
[00:17:05]  Class.
[00:17:05]  This story is filled with people who meet each other and then immediately move in.
[00:17:10]  Which is.
[00:17:11]  It happens.
[00:17:12]  I've done it.
[00:17:13]  I mean, hell.
[00:17:14]  Yeah, the thing is, that's true.
[00:17:17]  Exactly.
[00:17:17]  And you know what?
[00:17:18]  It works out.
[00:17:21]  The thing is, life's a gamble, but it's also impossible to lose.
[00:17:24]  That's another little thing.
[00:17:25]  People hear that all.
[00:17:26]  You always hear people say life's a gamble.
[00:17:28]  You never hear the end of that, which is where you always win.
[00:17:32]  And so that's and the house always wins.
[00:17:36]  Yeah, but you, you're moving into the house.
[00:17:38]  Life's a gamble.
[00:17:39]  You just met her.
[00:17:41]  That's the thing.
[00:17:41]  Yeah, life's a gamble, and the house always wins.
[00:17:45]  That sounds like a thing.
[00:17:46]  Exactly.
[00:17:47]  It is.
[00:17:47]  It is.
[00:17:49]  So let's talk about Marjorie real quick.
[00:17:53]  Wait, you said that she was a blonde, and literally the only photos I've seen of her are, well, one, spoiler alert, when she's covered in blood, and two, like when she's crying in the courtroom.
[00:18:06]  So, and I, I literally did not know she was blonde.
[00:18:09]  Well, I'm mostly basing that off the fact.
[00:18:12]  I mean, I think she's a brunette in the courtroom videos, but I'm mostly basing that off the fact.
[00:18:18]  And you know what?
[00:18:18]  She's actually wearing a blonde wig.
[00:18:20]  So I fucked up here, but whatever.
[00:18:22]  We'll keep it in in the interest of being.
[00:18:23]  Wait, she wore a wig?
[00:18:25]  Yes, to imitate an Arian, which I'll get into in a second.
[00:18:29]  But there are, there are, you know, how like sometimes you're like, damn, I'm going to take a picture of myself naked and never, ever send it to a member of the Aryan Brotherhood.
[00:18:41]  You guys ever do that?
[00:18:42]  You're like, all right, I took this dude and I'm never sending this to a shotgun in the Aryan Brotherhood.
[00:18:48]  Well, Marjorie fucked up and she accidentally sent all these pictures of her like dressed in like an evening gown, but with her titties like kind of hanging out in the lobby of her apartment building, which is stopped sending those to me.
[00:19:00]  I have sent those to Liz several times.
[00:19:03]  I'm trying to get into, you know, this, this story has a lot of people inhabiting somebody else.
[00:19:07]  And I'm trying to get into the character of this buxom blonde sending.
[00:19:13]  Is it Buxom or is it?
[00:19:14]  Yeah, it's Buxom.
[00:19:16]  Anyways, so she is not a steal your man type of woman.
[00:19:24]  And so I'm rather surprised that she did steal your man from Robert Knoll's ex-wife.
[00:19:31]  But let's talk about her.
[00:19:32]  She is 16 years younger than Robert Noel, which to me is one of the most problematic aspects of the story.
[00:19:41]  Yeah, absolutely.
[00:19:42]  Also a classic tale.
[00:19:44]  Well, that's a power differential there.
[00:19:47]  Yeah, that's actually, we're not going to talk about anything involving the murder case.
[00:19:52]  We're actually going to stop the story right here.
[00:19:55]  And for the next hour, we need to talk about power imbalances in age differences and relationships.
[00:20:02]  Absolutely.
[00:20:03]  That is one of the most important things.
[00:20:04]  I mean, I know it's sort of been like a topic on the left a lot lately, but like it really should be a topic for everybody.
[00:20:09]  If you are more.
[00:20:10]  Left, right, and center, baby.
[00:20:12]  Exactly.
[00:20:12]  Like, if you are more than three or four months older or younger than somebody else, you are legally a pedophile.
[00:20:22]  Yeah, depending on what age you are.
[00:20:24]  Exactly.
[00:20:25]  It changes.
[00:20:26]  It also changes based on what I think of you.
[00:20:29]  Yes, and whether you look gross or not.
[00:20:32]  Yeah, absolutely.
[00:20:33]  Okay, back to the story.
[00:20:49]  So...
[00:20:50]  So, Marjorie, let's talk about their, it's because they get married, right?
[00:20:56]  Let's talk about that.
[00:20:56]  So, they are basically become kind of like society, like kind of minor society people in San Francisco.
[00:21:03]  They're always at charities, they're doing philanthropy, they're going to the symphony, you know, they live in Pack Heights, which we should say Pacific Heights is a very, it's like classically fancy neighborhood in San Francisco.
[00:21:16]  Now, the way that San Francisco is, it's like old money because all the tech people took over the mission and they like, you know, it's like nouveau riche.
[00:21:23]  But Pack Heights is like old school.
[00:21:26]  That's where like Pelosi lives.
[00:21:28]  Yeah, absolutely.
[00:21:29]  Like money, like the Gettys, who actually feature sort of as a side story in this, in this story.
[00:21:36]  Diane Steele, whose son played in a ska band.
[00:21:39]  Yeah, absolutely.
[00:21:42]  And, you know, everyone in between.
[00:21:43]  So it's like a, you know, it's a big, you know, very tony neighborhood, as they say, in San Francisco.
[00:21:50]  One funny thing about this is that Marjorie was Jewish and Robert converted.
[00:21:56]  And speaking for myself as a person of Hebraic faith, that's a weird thing to do when people do that.
[00:22:07]  And not it's not a weird thing to convert.
[00:22:09]  It's a weird thing when people convert for a spouse because it's like, what are you doing here?
[00:22:14]  You don't want to do that.
[00:22:14]  Well, okay.
[00:22:15]  The only thing I would say when it's not, well, I don't think it's that weird, but I will say that it's especially not weird in the case of children.
[00:22:24]  Yeah.
[00:22:24]  Oh, yeah.
[00:22:25]  No, I mean, and that's like.
[00:22:26]  They don't have any kids.

=== Nazi Jimmy's Creepy Gang (15:47) ===

[00:22:28]  They don't have any.
[00:22:29]  Well, not yet.
[00:22:30]  I mean, I'm not even saying it's a weird thing to do.
[00:22:32]  I'm just like, why do you want to be Jewish?
[00:22:35]  Oh.
[00:22:35]  It is every day it hangs over me like a black cloud that rains only on me.
[00:22:39]  And I love being Jewish.
[00:22:41]  You should see how everyone else feels about it.
[00:22:43]  But he did the one honorable thing in this circumstance, which is immediately start accusing everybody of being anti-Semitic.
[00:22:51]  And I'm like, not even fucking kidding.
[00:22:53]  This is such, I wish I could be like this.
[00:22:55]  Like, no one's anti-Semitic towards me because they think that I'm at a Rothschild because of the stature that I hold myself and because of the insane curvature of my nose.
[00:23:04]  But like at one point, he like, okay, so when the cops burst down his door later in the story, he claims that it was like the Gestapo and he had like intergenerational, he didn't use these words, but he essentially said like memories of the Holocaust, which by the way, his family did not undergo because they were not Jews.
[00:23:22]  Like, well, not the only Jews when they went to the Holocaust, but like his family wasn't one of the, like, wasn't involved in the Holocaust.
[00:23:30]  And then at another point, his like shower head broke.
[00:23:34]  And he was like, he and Marjorie were so insane that they demanded that the plumber could only come at a certain time and under like these very specific circumstances.
[00:23:43]  And so the plumber came with the landlord's lawyer just because they were so freaked out about like this couple and how insane they were.
[00:23:51]  At one point, there was also the plumber had like an intern who was like a young German guy with him.
[00:23:56]  And at the end, he kind of does like, you know, when you say goodbye to sometimes, you give him like somebody, you give them like a little salute, like a little two-fingered salute.
[00:24:03]  It looks like a two, like, like almost like a tip of the cap.
[00:24:05]  Exactly.
[00:24:06]  And it looks a little bit like a salute.
[00:24:08]  Exactly.
[00:24:08]  He gives him one of those.
[00:24:10]  And Noel sues him for $50,000, claiming that he was triggered because it was a German giving a military salute, which he acknowledges was not a Nazi salute.
[00:24:21]  You know what, though?
[00:24:22]  A man ahead of his time.
[00:24:24]  Oh, yeah, absolutely.
[00:24:26]  This dude would have been great writing under Batja Ungar Sargon or whatever at the Jewish Daily Forward.
[00:24:33]  Also, in German, I believe it's called Vorwurtz, which is definitely a word I would use to describe that lady's face.
[00:24:40]  In 1988, by 1988, these two are fucking done working at these boutique laws.
[00:24:45]  By the way, boutique law firms, I'm sorry, I hate when they say boutique law firm.
[00:24:49]  That just makes me think a place has really nice chairs in a small office.
[00:24:53]  I mean, that's basically what it is.
[00:24:54]  Yeah, I guess that is a good word for it then.
[00:24:57]  But they start their own company together, which is always nowadays.
[00:25:01]  These couples, they're just like, oh, no, baby, like, we'll do your jewelry company or like, oh, we'll do your perfume company.
[00:25:06]  Back then, when men were men and women were women, they were like, we will start a failing law firm when we lose almost every case that we operate out of our closet.
[00:25:14]  Yeah, absolutely.
[00:25:15]  That's just what they did.
[00:25:16]  Yeah, because it was honorable.
[00:25:19]  So basically, they start taking on a lot of pro bono cases, which is not a good move if you're trying to support yourself and your new business.
[00:25:29]  Yes.
[00:25:30]  Yeah.
[00:25:31]  And they actually start taking on a lot of cases for convicted felons, like handling appeals and the appeals process for people like already in prison.
[00:25:41]  And specifically, they get hooked up in with one prison called Pelican Bay.
[00:25:48]  Yeah, they meet a prison guard named John Cox, which is another word for penis, who had betrayed his fellow COs and came clean about abuse in Pelican Bay.
[00:25:58]  And Pelican Bay is still notorious, but it was especially notorious back then because of all the insane amount of abuse.
[00:26:05]  I mean, it was like medieval there.
[00:26:06]  It still is.
[00:26:07]  But they were experimenting on prisoners in the medical part of the prison.
[00:26:12]  That kind of shit.
[00:26:13]  The beatings all the time, guard-assisted gang assassinations.
[00:26:17]  And now Cox was being harassed by his COs because he came clean about it.
[00:26:20]  He was like, listen, this place is a fucking nightmare.
[00:26:23]  The couple starts defending him.
[00:26:26]  And through him meeting other prison guards, sort of getting a reputation.
[00:26:30]  A little side note, they lose the case with Cox so badly that he kills himself.
[00:26:36]  And that kind of just sets the tone for their record.
[00:26:39]  They fucking suck at being.
[00:26:41]  These are the worst Jews I've ever encountered.
[00:26:44]  They are horrible at being lawyers.
[00:26:46]  Like their defenses are just out of control in every single case.
[00:26:50]  They use obscure and like arcane legal maneuvers that just fail every time.
[00:26:54]  It's incredible.
[00:26:55]  So around this time when they're taking on all these cases, they basically like start going broke, right?
[00:27:02]  They start losing all their money.
[00:27:05]  They get very conspiratorial.
[00:27:08]  They get very, they think that they're being like watched and stalked by the Bureau of Prisons.
[00:27:15]  They think that they're like being surveilled when they're at motels driving back from Pelican Bay.
[00:27:21]  They think that the Bureau of Prisons is breaking into their apartment.
[00:27:25]  So they kind of like lose all of their society connections and all of their kind of like, you know, and you know, look, if you look up pictures of these people, you'll understand what we're talking about.
[00:27:38]  This is a real fall from grace.
[00:27:40]  Yes.
[00:27:40]  Yeah, absolutely.
[00:27:42]  I mean, the thing is, like, you know, I was once the top of the town here.
[00:27:46]  You know, I did cocaine with Gavin Newsome.
[00:27:49]  You know, I've done push-up contests with OJ Simpson.
[00:27:53]  You know, like, I've, I've been thrown out of San Francisco City College for things that I'm contractually unable to mention on this show.
[00:28:02]  Okay, well, only one of those things is true.
[00:28:04]  Yes.
[00:28:05]  But these guys, I mean, they really went from being like opera types to just being like total freaks.
[00:28:11]  And then eventually total freaks whose topic of conversation revolved solely around dogs' penises or specific dogs' penis.
[00:28:18]  Many such cases.
[00:28:20]  Many such cases out there, exactly.
[00:28:22]  Well, in 1997, sort of everything changes from them.
[00:28:25]  I mean, prior to this point, they'd become really ingratiated with like prison culture, not like the Twitter account, but like, like, although not that that'd be much better.
[00:28:37]  But like, you know, they start using, you know, how like you meet people who like God about prison culture.
[00:28:42]  Low-key fell off.
[00:28:44]  Yeah, well, fine with me.
[00:28:46]  But, but, you know how like you meet people that are like not part of a subculture, like not, they weren't in the military, but they use a lot of military terms or something like that.
[00:28:55]  Right, right, right.
[00:28:56]  Kind of.
[00:28:57]  Yeah.
[00:28:57]  Well, you know that that's a type that exists.
[00:29:00]  Sure.
[00:29:00]  Okay.
[00:29:01]  They become people who like start using like selly and like slang like that, like to talk about like right, right, right.
[00:29:09]  Because now they've got a taste for street cred.
[00:29:11]  They think they're on the inside and they're like, look, we fell out of society because we're fucking broke losers that are ugly.
[00:29:18]  We're down for the street.
[00:29:20]  Now it's because, you know, the system hates us because we are in the system now.
[00:29:27]  That's what they're saying.
[00:29:28]  It's like the system is so mad at us for losing every single case that we bring against them that they've engaged in this campaign of harassment to make us lose worse somehow.
[00:29:38]  I'm not really sure what the logic behind that was, but so in 1997, sort of something happens.
[00:29:47]  They're representing a guard at Pelican Bay who was accused of working with the Aryan Brotherhood to get child molesters either killed or beaten by, I believe, the Aryan Brotherhood.
[00:29:57]  You know, child molesters are not very popular in prison because of, well, okay, I'll say it.
[00:30:04]  And the Aryan Brotherhood was no exception.
[00:30:06]  Like, they did not like them whatsoever.
[00:30:09]  One of the witnesses in the case was a guy named Paul Kornfed Schneider.
[00:30:15]  And, you know, the couple dealt with him, you know, as a witness.
[00:30:19]  But another one of the witnesses they were dealing with was assassinated during the trial and they became very protective.
[00:30:25]  A little mama bear came out of Noller and Noel.
[00:30:28]  And they really started to look at Paul Schneider in a, well, paternal and maternalistic sort of fashion.
[00:30:36]  Yeah, and it got weirder from there.
[00:30:38]  We should pause on Noel or Noel and Noller.
[00:30:43]  So confusing.
[00:30:44]  It's like they should have just hyphened their names to Noel Noller.
[00:30:50]  No, you know, they literally could, either one of them could have taken the other's name and like society would have accepted it.
[00:30:55]  Literally, no one would have noticed if they just took each other's name.
[00:30:58]  It's weirder that they didn't just because of how similar they were.
[00:31:02]  They're very similar to the point of being creepy.
[00:31:05]  Yeah, well, it's crazy because everything else about them is so normal.
[00:31:10]  Yeah.
[00:31:10]  Okay, anyway, so we need to pause on them for a second and we need to move on to Paul Kornfed Schneider, who is a really important figure in this case for multiple reasons.
[00:31:22]  He is, in fact, and, you know, you might be upset to hear this, but it's true.
[00:31:27]  He was, in fact, a member of the Aryan Brotherhood.
[00:31:30]  He was a shot caller, which is, listen, for those of you who've been on the inside, that means somebody who calls the shots in a prison game.
[00:31:38]  Okay.
[00:31:38]  So Aryan Brotherhood, what is that?
[00:31:40]  That's like a Mexican thing?
[00:31:42]  No, other, no, it's very much not.
[00:31:44]  Because here's the thing about Mexicans.
[00:31:45]  They got the Serenias and the Norteños.
[00:31:47]  Where's the Centranos?
[00:31:49]  There's nobody from the middle?
[00:31:51]  Oh, my God.
[00:31:52]  No, no.
[00:31:52]  The Aryan Brotherhood are Nazis.
[00:31:55]  Oh.
[00:31:56]  Oh, wow.
[00:31:56]  That seems bad.
[00:31:59]  But, like, okay, Brace, will you explain?
[00:32:01]  Because I don't think the Aryan Brotherhood doesn't totally work like a lot of people think it works, right?
[00:32:06]  Yeah, I think, I mean, Aryan Brotherhood's a pretty famous gang.
[00:32:09]  And because it is, I think people think that there's a lot of members.
[00:32:12]  But according to my, not only my resources, my research, but my sources, is that the Aryan Brotherhood is actually a pretty small gang.
[00:32:20]  They just have like a lot of hangers on.
[00:32:22]  Like all the guys that you see in, you know, documentaries about prison or documentaries about like maybe a small Jewish guy who's not a prisoner going into prison and teaching people how to work out better.
[00:32:34]  You know, you see a lot of guys with swastikas.
[00:32:36]  I knew a guy who got out of prison that had quite a lot of swastikas on him, although he covered him up with house paint so he could go work as a bouncer.
[00:32:42]  I think the wait, he poured house paint on his body.
[00:32:44]  Yeah, he was Nazi Jimmy.
[00:32:46]  Yeah, it was this guy, Nazi Jimmy.
[00:32:47]  And the first thing me and Max asked him were like, wait, so are you like a prison Nazi?
[00:32:51]  You're like, are you going to be weird to me?
[00:32:52]  Cause we're Jewish because he was just staying on our friend's couch.
[00:32:54]  He's like, oh, it's just like a prison Nazi.
[00:32:56]  I was like, oh, okay.
[00:32:58]  But yeah, he would put, he had, oh, he had 49 swastikas tattooed around his neck and he would put house paint on it in order to go to work.
[00:33:06]  He later took up with a couple of chicks from Cotati and started, I think, making acid in this warehouse.
[00:33:12]  And he got arrested there.
[00:33:13]  And it turns out he had actually skipped.
[00:33:15]  He had jumped out on his parole and he got sent back to Ohio.
[00:33:19]  That was the end of Nazi Jimmy.
[00:33:20]  There's a picture of us, and he was like seven, too.
[00:33:22]  He was a terrifying individual.
[00:33:24]  I was scared of him 100% of the time.
[00:33:26]  Anyways, so you know, but like, but like there's like essentially, it's like an inner cadre, an inner core of actual gang members.
[00:33:34]  And then like a lot of people who like want to be gang members who sort of like act like they're members of the Aryan Brotherhood, maybe like get Aryan Brotherhood tattoos or something, but they're not actually in the Brotherhood.
[00:33:44]  Paul was actually in the Aryan Brotherhood.
[00:33:47]  He was such a notorious member that they actually shut down the entire Bay Bridge when they transferred him from prisons one time.
[00:33:54]  To keep him safe.
[00:33:56]  Yeah.
[00:33:57]  Yeah.
[00:33:57]  Oh my God.
[00:33:58]  To keep me and my antifoe buddies from kicking the ass.
[00:34:02]  Yeah, totally.
[00:34:03]  Yeah, we were trying to fuck around and find out.
[00:34:06]  Exactly.
[00:34:07]  99% of the times when someone says find out, it just means I'm about to lose and I want to save face five minutes before I do.
[00:34:14]  Yeah, it's very stupid.
[00:34:15]  Did that just come from Twitter?
[00:34:17]  It's actually, it is actually from literally a Nazi prison gang.
[00:34:21]  I'm not kidding.
[00:34:22]  Really?
[00:34:23]  They appropriated a Nazi thing to be anti-Nazi?
[00:34:26]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:34:28]  That seems very stupid.
[00:34:30]  Yeah.
[00:34:31]  Well, I mean, I got a swastika tattoo.
[00:34:34]  It's crossed out.
[00:34:35]  How you're like, you didn't expect that one coming, did you?
[00:34:37]  Yeah, it's a tribute to my tribute to my incarcerated worker friend, Nazi Jimmy.
[00:34:44]  But Paul, Paul's actually, Paul's a Kylie native, bro.
[00:34:48]  Oh my God.
[00:34:50]  He grew up with sisters here in California.
[00:34:53]  And when he was 16, I should mention that because, you know, that could have some bearing on it.
[00:34:57]  When he was 16, he worked at a place in LA called Continental Canine, whose business was basically like lending out scary dogs to people who want scary dogs, like junkyard shit like that.
[00:35:10]  Here's a quote from him for a Rolling Stone article.
[00:35:13]  Wait, I got to do my Nazi accent.
[00:35:15]  These, fuck, what is it?
[00:35:18]  Thieves would cut the tendons in the dog legs.
[00:35:21]  That's when I learned how loyal dogs are.
[00:35:23]  They would still try to do their job, even when their legs were sliced.
[00:35:29]  Why is that a Nazi accent?
[00:35:31]  Well, I mean, he's from California, but he's like, I can't do a California accident.
[00:35:35]  That sounds like a 1940s gangster or like 1920s.
[00:35:39]  You know who was the worst gangster from both the 40s and the 20s?
[00:35:43]  Adolf Hitler was a gangster from that era as well.
[00:35:47]  All right.
[00:35:47]  Well, that's not what Adolf Hitler sounded like.
[00:35:49]  And his buddy Big Gohing.
[00:35:52]  Yeah, his buddy Nazi Jimmy.
[00:35:54]  Little Himmler.
[00:35:55]  Yeah, Nazi Jimmy.
[00:36:00]  Anyways, like myself, he graduated high school early, although they just let me go early.
[00:36:05]  I think he actually graduated early.
[00:36:07]  And he worked on a listen, this is, you know how I feel about flyboys.
[00:36:13]  You know, I don't know if I've mentioned them before, but I think they're a cocky bunch who I don't trust at all.
[00:36:17]  But he was a flyboy.
[00:36:18]  And by that, I mean somebody who just worked on an aerial refueling ship in the Air Force.
[00:36:23]  Not a pilot.
[00:36:24]  Not a pilot.
[00:36:25]  I just call anybody who goes into the air for more than six hours a year combined.
[00:36:28]  So like anyone who takes long flights, anyone takes multiple flights.
[00:36:31]  That's what I call them flyboys.
[00:36:33]  Yeah, I think that works.
[00:36:35]  And he was an Odinist.
[00:36:37]  I'm sorry, what?
[00:36:39]  So, you know, Odin?
[00:36:43]  Like the god Odin, like the one-eyed fella?
[00:36:45]  The one-eyed fella.
[00:36:46]  Okay.
[00:36:48]  Okay.
[00:36:49]  He was an Odinist.
[00:36:50]  So I guess he was just like, you know how when we talk back in those Nazi episodes, like the Spider Network episodes, I'm like, these guys have really weird esoteric beliefs.
[00:36:57]  Yeah, he was like, this is esoteric.
[00:36:59]  Yeah.
[00:36:59]  This is runes shit, right?
[00:37:01]  Yeah.
[00:37:02]  Oh, he's a, he's got, he's got, he's got a rune scape all over his body, and that describes his tattoos.
[00:37:07]  He also sometimes referred to himself as Loki, the trickster.
[00:37:11]  Well, I had the trickster part, but I mean, Loki is the trickster.
[00:37:18]  So he ends up in jail for armored car robbery, right?
[00:37:24]  1987.
[00:37:26]  Yeah.
[00:37:27]  And basically, four years in, he gets in with the Aryan Brotherhood.
[00:37:31]  AB, baby.
[00:37:32]  And yeah, his price of admission, you know how sometimes you got to prove yourself to people by being like accountable to them or like showing up on time or like calling them back, which is why it's like the number one reason I haven't been able to join any street gangs.
[00:37:47]  He joined the Aryan Brotherhood by stabbing a guard in the neck.
[00:37:52]  Yeah, this dude is like a serious dude.
[00:37:54]  He is like serving, what, like three life sentences.
[00:37:58]  He's been running, he ran like multiple drug smuggling operations in and out of prison.
[00:38:07]  He once stabbed a defense attorney in a courtroom, which is insane, but it's not as insane as the next part, which will you say it?

=== A Serious Dude's Life Sentence (06:10) ===

[00:38:16]  Oh, I know.
[00:38:16]  I was about to say, Liz, no way that Liz Liz will allow herself to say this.
[00:38:20]  So, you know how you're like, damn, prisoners like never have pockets.
[00:38:23]  And they're like, they let this guy have a knife?
[00:38:25]  So, a lot of people don't know that the asshole of the body, which is like, how did I describe it?
[00:38:32]  It's like the mouth but low.
[00:38:34]  And that that thing can have things in it as well as out of it.
[00:38:39]  And like, and so a lot of people don't know.
[00:38:42]  Sometimes girlfriends will try to try to try to pretend like they know and like try to put some up there.
[00:38:47]  And you got to be like, whoa, burger.
[00:38:50]  But, but Paul Schneider obviously dated some of the same girls that I did in my early 20s.
[00:38:56]  And he figured out that he could essentially use the asshole as an extra pocket.
[00:39:01]  And so what he did was he fashioned a knife, which is like a bladed instrument used for stabbing people.
[00:39:10]  And he put it in his asshole.
[00:39:11]  And now the crazy thing about this is I'm like, how did it not cut your butt?
[00:39:15]  Like, how did your butt, maybe did he put other stuff in there to like shield it?
[00:39:19]  But anyways, the knife wound of the defense attorney had fecal matter in it, which is such an oh, dude.
[00:39:27]  That's like the Vietnamese did that in, or the NVA did that in the Vietnam War, is they just like put sharp sticks in like a pit and then shit on them.
[00:39:36]  And so when American soldiers would fall into it, they'd be like, oh, fuck, I got stabbed.
[00:39:40]  They'd be like, oh, no, I got a shit infection on my arm.
[00:39:43]  I can't burn down a village full of babies now.
[00:39:47]  So he stopped them.
[00:39:48]  Yeah, Comrade Schneider did not stop them.
[00:39:52]  Comrade Kornfed obviously was taking a tip from Uncle Ho there and stabbed him with a shit knife.
[00:39:59]  Well, anyways, he gets out and all of a sudden, you know, totally out of the blue, the prison authorities start x-raying him all the time.
[00:40:07]  Yeah.
[00:40:08]  And then, wait, he sued the prison system for x-raying him too much.
[00:40:13]  He gets like $12,000.
[00:40:16]  Which like, I'm like, that doesn't seem like that much money.
[00:40:19]  I made us a lot of money for a prison guy.
[00:40:22]  One thing I should say, too, after he assaulted the guard in the courtroom, he was like, listen, I will plead guilty if you give my boys and I a pepperoni pizza and a two liter of Coke.
[00:40:31]  And the prison system did that.
[00:40:33]  And so, like, you can't say that he doesn't watch out for his friends.
[00:40:57]  So not, so he has some other, he gets into some other shit in prison that's equally as freaky as the Aryan Brotherhood, which is he starts reading a lot of dog fancy.
[00:41:10]  Mm, mm, yeah.
[00:41:12]  Always a red flag.
[00:41:14]  You know, it's actually, that's the number one magazine in America.
[00:41:18]  I thought it was Cat Fancy.
[00:41:20]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:41:21]  Well, no, Cat Fancy, unfortunately, was purchased by Jacobin and then turned into like a sort of like social democratic vehicle.
[00:41:27]  It's like a Vivek Jiver thing.
[00:41:32]  Okay, so he like, he starts reading dog fancy.
[00:41:35]  And, you know, as you might recall from, I don't know, when we mentioned this 40 minutes ago, who knows how long we've been going?
[00:41:41]  He was already kind of, he already kind of knew a little bit of the ins and outs of the dog breeding business from his time pre-entering the clink.
[00:41:51]  And so he starts reading dog fancy and he gets this idea like, huh, instead of smuggling, running drugs in and out of prison, maybe I could start selling attack dogs to the Mexican mafia in order to make my drug smuggling business better.
[00:42:09]  Yeah, which is like actually a pretty good idea.
[00:42:12]  I mean, it's, look, this guy, he's got, he's got smarts, as we're going to get into.
[00:42:17]  This guy is a master manipulator.
[00:42:19]  He's a serious dude.
[00:42:21]  He is.
[00:42:21]  And like, he, he actually, he, he did what I honestly, like probably a lot of people do when they're in prison.
[00:42:26]  And I do not blame them, which is that he wrote a lot of letters to women on the outside.
[00:42:31]  And Paul was like really, you know how girls love bad boys, but like then they get really.
[00:42:35]  I'm not into that.
[00:42:37]  I know.
[00:42:37]  And well, it's also like they think they love bad boys.
[00:42:40]  And then the first time that you do something bad and then like up until like the 200th, they're like, why are you doing something bad?
[00:42:45]  It's like, why did you start dating me?
[00:42:47]  Like, isn't that why?
[00:42:50]  I don't like it.
[00:42:51]  I don't get it.
[00:42:52]  I know.
[00:42:52]  Well, it's like, well, they think like bad is cool.
[00:42:54]  And then like when you steal their debit card, they're like, suddenly bad's not cool anymore.
[00:42:58]  Yeah.
[00:42:59]  Which is, yeah, we won't get into that here.
[00:43:02]  But, but, but he starts writing women on the outside and he's like really good.
[00:43:06]  And I've actually read read some of his letters and he's like pretty fucking good at it.
[00:43:11]  Like it's not like the sort of like Neanderthalic like, oh, you're, I long for your legs, hot mama, kind of thing.
[00:43:19]  Yeah, like MDMs.
[00:43:21]  Exactly.
[00:43:21]  It's like really sufficient.
[00:43:22]  You were not supposed to share those with anybody.
[00:43:24]  It's really sufficient.
[00:43:26]  And also, I said, that was just auto-correct.
[00:43:29]  I said, I long for your last episode audio, which you were supposed to send me.
[00:43:34]  Oh, okay.
[00:43:34]  So I can send it to Jon Chomsky.
[00:43:37]  But like, you know, he's like pretty sophisticated in them and like really like, you know, like, I don't know how to describe it, but like they're very charming letters.
[00:43:47]  Would you actually mind reading this quote for me, baby, about this is something that how Robert Knowles described him.
[00:43:54]  I think it's really, it sums up how people thought of him.
[00:43:58]  All right, here we go.
[00:44:00]  Paul has charisma.
[00:44:02]  I mean, you just, just to this guy, you like him.
[00:44:05]  You know, he's honest.
[00:44:07]  I mean, it's a strange thing to say about a guy who is doing life without parole in prison.
[00:44:11]  I mean, I would say so.
[00:44:13]  Paul's an outlaw hero.
[00:44:16]  You've got a guy who comes in.
[00:44:17]  He's very courteous and well-spoken in person.
[00:44:20]  And if he was wearing a designer suit, he wouldn't look bad at all.
[00:44:23]  The guy is drop dead gorgeous.

=== Paul's Charismatic Charm (15:02) ===

[00:44:26]  I'm always saying that about my bros, by the way.
[00:44:29]  Well, not only your bro, but your literal son that you adopted and also represent in court.
[00:44:34]  I'm always saying that about that guy.
[00:44:36]  Yeah, well, we haven't gotten to that part yet.
[00:44:39]  So he gets into something called the Presa Canaria.
[00:44:43]  Okay.
[00:44:43]  I don't know why I did the Italian accents.
[00:44:44]  I think it's a good idea.
[00:44:45]  I don't know why you did either.
[00:44:47]  Also, I don't like saying this name, but now we got to talk about the dogs.
[00:44:51]  We've mentioned that.
[00:44:51]  You can call them canary dogs if you want.
[00:44:54]  I like mastiffs, but we'll get into it.
[00:44:57]  So we've talked about Paul.
[00:44:58]  We've talked about, remember, Marjorie and Robert.
[00:45:05]  We've talked about Diane.
[00:45:07]  And now we've got to talk about the dogs.
[00:45:09]  Because as we mentioned, if you're still with us, we know this episode is all over the place.
[00:45:14]  It's, you know, in true non-fashion.
[00:45:17]  We mentioned that this is actually a story about a dog mauling.
[00:45:20]  Or I think we mentioned that.
[00:45:21]  If we didn't, that's what this is about.
[00:45:24]  And so we got to talk about the dogs.
[00:45:26]  Now, the dogs, okay, Pressa Canario.
[00:45:29]  I don't fucking, you know, I know a lot about dogs.
[00:45:31]  I'm a big dog person.
[00:45:33]  White women alert.
[00:45:34]  Love a dog, hate a cat.
[00:45:37]  I'll be honest with you, very much the same there.
[00:45:40]  Yeah, absolutely.
[00:45:40]  It's the only, only like honorable moral position.
[00:45:44]  And I will defend this to my last dying day.
[00:45:47]  Well, I mean, you try betting on catfighting?
[00:45:49]  That's terrible.
[00:45:53]  I was going to make a girl on girl, a bad girl on girl joke, but I'm just going to leave it.
[00:45:57]  Okay.
[00:45:58]  So Pressa Canario, they're basically like, they're like very extremely large mastiffs, right?
[00:46:08]  But they're like a specific like type of like mastiff breed, right?
[00:46:14]  I had never heard of these things before.
[00:46:16]  I know a mastiff.
[00:46:16]  I know a pit bull.
[00:46:18]  This is like a weird hybrid of the two.
[00:46:21]  For some reason, they're like a type of mastiff from the Canary Islands, which is like a Spanish-owned island in like the western Mediterranean off the coast of Africa.
[00:46:31]  And also, where Franco was sent by the Spanish Republican government instead of just being fired prior to the conservative general uprising that started the Spanish Civil War, he was just hanging out there in Canary Islands.
[00:46:45]  They should have just shot him.
[00:46:46]  Well, and also, I'm just going to say, if you think that's a coincidence with these murderer tech dogs, I'm going to say, hey, not a coincidence.
[00:46:53]  Third eye open, baby.
[00:46:55]  But they are big motherfuckers.
[00:46:57]  They usually weigh about 100 to 150 pounds.
[00:47:00]  That is literally twice as much as any wife I've ever had.
[00:47:05]  It's insane.
[00:47:06]  Yeah, they're really big.
[00:47:08]  So basically, Paul gets real into these dogs.
[00:47:12]  Very, very into.
[00:47:14]  And he finds out about them, by the way, from dog fancy, like this mentioned, which is just a very strange thing to do.
[00:47:21]  I mean, I guess you read a lot of magazines in prison.
[00:47:23]  I don't know.
[00:47:24]  So remember how we said that he's always writing women?
[00:47:27]  Scratching and scratching away on those little notepads.
[00:47:30]  Yeah, so he was able to convince this lonely woman named Janet Cuombs.
[00:47:35]  I'm sorry.
[00:47:36]  It's Janet Coombs.
[00:47:39]  I swear to God, it is.
[00:47:40]  Is it really?
[00:47:41]  Yes, I do.
[00:47:42]  I kept reading it like Cuoms, like Cuomo.
[00:47:44]  She's only mentioned in like a couple of the things that I've watched about him.
[00:47:49]  With the audio, and it's Coombs.
[00:47:50]  They say Coombs.
[00:47:52]  Yes.
[00:47:53]  So her name is Janet Coombs.
[00:47:55]  Okay, that's the fourth funniest thing about this story, which is not a funny story, we should say.
[00:48:00]  Very serious.
[00:48:01]  Yeah.
[00:48:05]  Okay, so Janet Coombs.
[00:48:08]  This poor woman.
[00:48:09]  So she had been visiting Paul at Pelican Bay since like 1998.
[00:48:15]  And he basically threw his like love letters to her, which, by the way, also he would like make these like beautiful sketches.
[00:48:22]  He was like an artist.
[00:48:23]  Very good artist.
[00:48:24]  Yeah.
[00:48:25]  Yeah.
[00:48:25]  Which was always remarked on by the women.
[00:48:27]  Oh, I love your drawings.
[00:48:28]  It's like one of those like, you know, he want they wanted him to draw them like his French women or something.
[00:48:36]  But okay, so he was able to convince Janet Coombs to purchase with the assistance of one of his contacts, Brenda, who we'll come back to in a second, two Prasa Canario Canario dogs.
[00:48:50]  And Paul told Janet that like she would raise the dogs and he would draw them.
[00:48:57]  So this was the whole thing.
[00:48:58]  He was like, Janet, you take the dogs and I'm going to send you these beautiful drawings of them, which is like, I don't know why that's a deal.
[00:49:07]  I got to say, dudes, rock.
[00:49:09]  That is amazing.
[00:49:10]  That is, that is, what a deal.
[00:49:12]  I mean, and the thing is, the fucked up thing is, dude, Janet is poor as shit.
[00:49:16]  Like she lives on like a farm kind of in the middle of nowhere, has had really bad luck with men.
[00:49:21]  I think we've been married a few times and like has not gone well.
[00:49:23]  Like the guys have all been pretty, I mean, Janet, besides Diana and Sharon, Janet is like one of the very few sympathetic characters in here.
[00:49:30]  Yeah, I think that's true.
[00:49:31]  Because she seems like just like a nice woman who like was lonely and like, you know, this guy's giving her attention.
[00:49:37]  He seems like powerful, but also like he's also scary to her.
[00:49:41]  So like, so yeah, she, she gets a couple of the dogs, right?
[00:49:44]  And as we'll see, like she, you know, she had a good sense about these dogs and tried to warn some people.
[00:49:51]  But yeah, so June 1998, she purchases two dogs, Schneider, excuse me, Paul.
[00:49:56]  We'll just call him Paul.
[00:49:57]  Paul names them Bane, who's the male dog, and Isis, who's the female dog.
[00:50:04]  Those are the two greatest influences on my life.
[00:50:07]  No, we should say it's Isis, not the acronym Isis, but it's very funny if you take it that way.
[00:50:14]  Exactly.
[00:50:15]  Yes.
[00:50:15]  No, it's Isis after the Bob Dylan song.
[00:50:20]  But the idea of it being Bane as in the character from the Batman movie that hasn't yet happened yet, and Isis as in the Islamic terror group that hasn't yet formed yet, is very funny to me.
[00:50:31]  I very much enjoy that.
[00:50:32]  The dude has a, what can we say?
[00:50:33]  The guy has a nose for evil.
[00:50:35]  Yeah.
[00:50:36]  So this is, so at this time, Bane, who, you know, remember this name, Bane, which you can't forget it.
[00:50:42]  Bane is about three months old.
[00:50:43]  So, and then later on, January 1999, months later, Janet purchases two additional female dogs, Hira and Fury.
[00:50:54]  And Hira is about five months old at this time.
[00:50:57]  Flash forward to May, and Isis gives birth to 10 puppies, but only four survive, which I've got some questions about there.
[00:51:06]  So this is like, she's got like a fucking pack of dogs on this farm.
[00:51:10]  Like, this is a lot of dogs.
[00:51:13]  And they're big dogs.
[00:51:14]  Yeah, they're huge and they're hungry and they're horny.
[00:51:19]  I mean, they are.
[00:51:20]  Yeah, I mean, this is basically the thing is that like she can't really handle these dogs.
[00:51:25]  She has them tied up to a fence.
[00:51:28]  They're very aggressive.
[00:51:30]  At one point, they eat like all of her sheep and chickens and her house cats.
[00:51:36]  They seem to have eaten every other living creature on the farm.
[00:51:41]  Yeah.
[00:51:41]  She also mentions that Bane ate the dog house that she made for him, which, by the way, I don't know what that means.
[00:51:48]  How does a dog eat a doghouse?
[00:51:50]  Like wood?
[00:51:51]  Yeah.
[00:51:53]  Bane seems to have a prodigious jaw.
[00:51:56]  Like he's very hungry a lot of the time.
[00:52:00]  But she would send updates to Old Cornfed with like pictures of the dogs and sort of like, you know, telling them how they're doing.
[00:52:07]  Because remember, Paul wants to sell these dogs to the Mexican mafia.
[00:52:11]  So he wants these dogs to be big, tough, burly.
[00:52:14]  He wants them to be, in his words, almost Brace Belden-like in their physique and demeanor.
[00:52:19]  Yeah.
[00:52:19]  So he, so he sees Janet sends him photos of the dogs and he sees them with the cats before, I guess, you know, before the dogs eat the cats.
[00:52:29]  R.I.P. And he's like, don't make, he literally says this, don't make wusses out of the dogs because, and he says he doesn't want them around people because he doesn't want them to be socialized.
[00:52:42]  This is an important point.
[00:52:44]  They're really like, they're literally raising these dogs to be monsters.
[00:52:48]  Like zero socialization, letting them run wild, eating livestock, and while keeping them chained to fences, which makes them even more aggressive, right?
[00:52:59]  Yeah, like according to like a, I think it was like a vet or no, it was a dog trainer whose, whose like testimony is included in one of the court cases.
[00:53:07]  This is like the exact formula you want to do if you want to make a dog fucked up and insane.
[00:53:13]  Yeah.
[00:53:13]  But that's what he wanted to do.
[00:53:15]  Yeah.
[00:53:15]  Yeah.
[00:53:16]  I mean, he wanted like drug guard dogs.
[00:53:18]  Yeah.
[00:53:18]  I mean, you know, when we say that this is his company that he's running, it's like, yeah, he's building a company to breed attack dogs to sell to the Mexican mafia.
[00:53:30]  He literally makes a website for his business, which we'll get into this in a little bit, called doggowar.com.
[00:53:37]  Oh, doggo war.
[00:53:38]  That's what is that like a DSA thing?
[00:53:41]  No, dogo war, like dog of war.
[00:53:45]  Oh, that's fucking bad.
[00:53:46]  Or like man of war.
[00:53:48]  Yeah, totally.
[00:53:49]  And this was the ad, like, there's a picture of Bane in this, like, in this ad for doggowar.com that he made.
[00:53:57]  And it says, Bane, one who causes death or destroys life.
[00:54:02]  Death, destruction, ruin.
[00:54:05]  One who ruins or spoils.
[00:54:07]  El Supremo Bane.
[00:54:10]  Here's another take on Bane.
[00:54:12]  I nickname her a certified lick therapist.
[00:54:15]  So you don't know where you're going with that.
[00:54:22]  You just said that.
[00:54:22]  I know where I'm going.
[00:54:25]  I want to let a listener in on something.
[00:54:27]  Bryce does this sometimes where he just says a word and sees where it's going to go.
[00:54:31]  And that's how he just starts.
[00:54:34]  Well, I think a lot of people like, and I've encountered this like a lot of people that I've been like close with in my life where they like, where they'll like try to figure out why I did something.
[00:54:43]  And they'll be like, well, he did it for these reasons and these reasons and like these motivations.
[00:54:47]  When like my brain is like, let's say highly regarded.
[00:54:55]  And it's like, I just like, I'm just going for, like, I think a lot, but like about things like this, I just, I act and then let instinct take over.
[00:55:06]  And I'm guided by the Holy Spirit, baby.
[00:55:08]  Like, I literally, God is actually guiding each and every one of my movements.
[00:55:12]  And so like when I say so right there, we have like a pause after that, a pause in which God lives and God speaks through me.
[00:55:21]  Okay.
[00:55:21]  And God wants me to say that Marjorie Knoller and Robert Noel Noel sued the shit out of Janet Coombs.
[00:55:28]  Yeah.
[00:55:29]  So, okay.
[00:55:31]  October 1999, Noller and Noel file a lawsuit on behalf of Brenda to gain custody of the dogs from Janet Coombs.
[00:55:43]  So this is very weird because basically these two, now remember, they've become very enamored with Mr. Schneider, are basically using Brenda in order to get these dogs away from Janet, who is supposed to be doing the bidding of Schneider, but sounds like Schneider is unhappy with the way that Janet is handling these massive, massive attack dogs.
[00:56:11]  Well, it's just like my uncle wrote a letter to my dad once.
[00:56:15]  He's like, you are raising a pussy.
[00:56:17]  Let me take your son and turn him into an attack dog.
[00:56:22]  And that's exactly what Schneider did.
[00:56:24]  So basically, they just like, so Noller and Noel, I wish we had like a nickname for these fucking two.
[00:56:32]  Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
[00:56:34]  They basically use this lawsuit as like leverage against Janet.
[00:56:41]  And Janet tells Noller like on several occasions that she's having trouble with the dogs.
[00:56:46]  And she's like, they're killing my sheep.
[00:56:47]  They're killing my cats.
[00:56:48]  And Noller's like, well, then you want to get rid of these dogs anyway.
[00:56:51]  Why do we even have this lawsuit?
[00:56:52]  What's the big deal?
[00:56:54]  Right.
[00:56:55]  Problem, though, because Janet calls the California Department of Corrections.
[00:57:01]  And Janet's a little trickster.
[00:57:02]  She calls them and she says, I think Schneider is involved in an illegal dog breeding business, which, by the way, I find this like very funny because it's like, yeah, Janet, you're involved.
[00:57:16]  You're involved in the dog breeding business.
[00:57:19]  It's called Dog O'War.
[00:57:22]  It's literally being run by a like a leader in the Aryan Brotherhood who's like that sends you drawings of the dogs and tells you, stop letting them play with other animals.
[00:57:34]  I want them to be aggressive.
[00:57:36]  So I can sell them to the Mexican mafia.
[00:57:39]  Yeah, like Janet, baby, what is you doing?
[00:57:43]  Exactly.
[00:57:44]  Well, a lot of people don't might recognize the name Janet Coombs.
[00:57:47]  It's the lady who used to do the blog Brooklyn Vegan and who moved to the countryside in California.
[00:57:53]  So I'm not surprised that she isn't sort of aware of these country folk corn-fed sort of trickster ways.
[00:57:59]  Yeah, so basically this guy, Devin Hawks, who's the investigator at the California Department of Corrections, he like looks into Janet's claim and basically like, this is how I imagine it, because this is what I was reading.
[00:58:13]  He's like, okay, I'm going to take Janet's claim seriously.
[00:58:16]  And he goes to investigate, you know, what she's saying about Schneider.
[00:58:21]  Now, he basically like walks by their cell and takes one look at Schneider.
[00:58:26]  And this is also an important character, his cellmate, Dale Bretsches.
[00:58:31]  Sorry, baby, we call those on the inside.
[00:58:33]  We call those Sellies.
[00:58:34]  Okay, whatever.
[00:58:36]  And he basically like looks at them and is like, ah, yes, okay, these guys are part of the Aryan Brotherhood.
[00:58:42]  And he figures out that, you know, someone is helping them on the outside to run a business purchasing, racing, and breeding dogs.
[00:58:51]  And in his report, he cites Noller and Noel or Noel as possible contacts.
[00:59:00]  Well, you know, this is something that I found out during the course of this that was rather surprising to me is that actually prisoners are not allowed to run businesses in any way.
[00:59:10]  Like they literally, there's like an anti-entrepreneurship law on the books in California.
[00:59:15]  Do you think that some shitty Democrat politician would have already like, can't you see Mayor Pete being like, this is my prison initiative for prison entrepreneurs?
[00:59:23]  And it's like some horrible, horrible like tax break that doesn't benefit anyone in any way.

=== Prisoners and Business Prohibition (15:40) ===

[00:59:29]  Exactly.
[00:59:29]  Well, they're like, well, no, actually, well, they don't want them to be entrepreneurs because they need the prisoners to be slave firefighters for the for the upcoming fire wars in California.
[00:59:38]  But to be fair, Paul Schneider's other job that he did, his other little like entrepreneurship activity was like running like basically all heroin sales sales in like several prisons.
[00:59:52]  And so, you know, the guy already, you know, he's in the business.
[00:59:54]  He's a pillar of the business community.
[00:59:56]  And so trying to go straight.
[00:59:59]  Exactly.
[01:00:00]  He's trying to go straight by raising these dogs.
[01:00:03]  Well, basically, okay, so I just want to put a pin in that because the California Department of Corrections was really looking into this and had already made a little bit of connections, but basically paused their investigation for reasons I don't understand.
[01:00:15]  But back to Janet, our buddy Janet, our poor girl Janet, she basically doesn't have any money to fight the lawsuit.
[01:00:22]  Or to feed the dogs.
[01:00:24]  Oh, that too.
[01:00:26]  That Noel and Noller are, you know, using against her.
[01:00:30]  So she just like gives it, gives up fighting it and gives them the dogs.
[01:00:34]  Yeah, by the time that Noller, and it's funny, actually, like sort of the description is of like how Noller and Noel like just like canceled picking up the dogs like 50 times before they actually came.
[01:00:45]  And they did this really annoying thing where they called Janet and they're like, actually, Janet, we're really early risers.
[01:00:50]  So we need you to be ready with the dogs at 6 a.m. tomorrow.
[01:00:53]  And then they just didn't show up for it, which is such a fucking I hate that fucking move so much.
[01:00:59]  But uh who would do that?
[01:01:00]  That's so mean.
[01:01:01]  Exactly.
[01:01:02]  It's so cruel.
[01:01:03]  It's just it's incredible.
[01:01:04]  But uh, but they bring a veterinarian down down with them down when they go pick up the dogs.
[01:01:10]  And the dogs, the veterinarian rather says, I saw eight dogs.
[01:01:14]  Massive, massive dogs.
[01:01:17]  I mean huge dogs.
[01:01:19]  The first thing I thought about was, you know, they are big.
[01:01:23]  I mean very large.
[01:01:27]  Which is such a great quote.
[01:01:31]  What a, what a quote.
[01:01:32]  I actually think I would say, yeah, they are big.
[01:01:37]  I mean, they're big.
[01:01:38]  They are very large.
[01:01:39]  These are very large, big.
[01:01:41]  I mean, I think I said that earlier in the episode, actually.
[01:01:44]  Dogs.
[01:01:46]  It's incredible.
[01:01:48]  So he writes a letter to the vet writes a letter to Noller because he's like, he's like, he just is like convinced that the couple is not going to take the fact that they're about to have eight insanely huge dogs seriously.
[01:02:01]  Because he's like, these are not city dogs.
[01:02:03]  Like, these are country dogs.
[01:02:05]  And actually, in fact, these are Canary Island dogs.
[01:02:07]  No one should have this.
[01:02:08]  But he says, these dogs have the potential of being very serious.
[01:02:13]  Also gives her a bill for $180 and says, I would be professionally amiss if I did not mention the following so that you can be prepared.
[01:02:21]  These dogs are huge.
[01:02:24]  Probably weighing in the neighborhood of 100 pounds each.
[01:02:27]  They have had no training or discipline of any sort.
[01:02:31]  They're a problem to even get to, let alone to vaccinate.
[01:02:35]  You mentioned having a professional hauler gather them up and take them.
[01:02:38]  Usually, this would be done in crates, but I doubt one could get them into anything short of a livestock trailer.
[01:02:45]  And if let loose, they would have a battle.
[01:02:49]  He also says that these are definitely going to be a liability to their households.
[01:02:54]  And just like, I think he says the historic romance of the warrior dog, the personal guard dog, the gaming dog, which is like a dog that like, so you can better focus on saying racial slurs in like when you're playing online video games.
[01:03:08]  The dog actually plays modern warfare for you.
[01:03:10]  Oh my God.
[01:03:12]  That's nice.
[01:03:12]  He says may sound good, but hardly fits into the life today into life today.
[01:03:17]  In any event, you'll do as you wish, but I at least have given you my opinions.
[01:03:22]  Well, very sensible veterinarian.
[01:03:24]  I have to say that as we'll find out, these dogs are bigger than 100 pounds.
[01:03:31]  Yes.
[01:03:33]  But I love that, first of all, I love that she's like, she already told the vet that she was going to have a professional hauler take the dog.
[01:03:41]  What is that?
[01:03:42]  Who is a dog hauler?
[01:03:43]  Is this a thing?
[01:03:45]  Well, I actually think she just means like literally a pro like, I know guys who do like hauling, basically.
[01:03:50]  It's just like a trash hauling, not dog.
[01:03:52]  I mean, this is like, this is like a 150-pound attack dog, and there's like eight of them.
[01:03:58]  Like, what do you think?
[01:03:59]  Who's like, oh, I go and pick up like furniture that people don't want and I drive a truck.
[01:04:04]  Like, no one just prepared to like fucking.
[01:04:06]  You send the Recology guy down there.
[01:04:08]  I know, I knew a couple of guys who worked for Iron Man.
[01:04:10]  Actually, this is a lot of fun.
[01:04:11]  Yeah, or like 1-800 junk.
[01:04:12]  I knew a lot of guys that worked for them.
[01:04:14]  Yeah, well, this is when I worked at the boxing gym.
[01:04:16]  And like, Iron Man, like, like, moving and hauling, basically employed all of our fighters because, like, professional boxers don't really make that much money unless they're like fucking Mayweather or whatever.
[01:04:27]  And half of them actually just literally lived at the Iron Man warehouse, like, just in storage containers, which just goes to show the life of a professional boxer, not as glamorous as you might think.
[01:04:37]  They also had group sex at our gym one time.
[01:04:57]  Okay, so April 1st, the year 2000.
[01:05:00]  Q Pulp song.
[01:05:02]  Let's all meet up in the year 2001.
[01:05:06]  Just kidding.
[01:05:07]  Nolar, Noel, and a professional dog handler named James O'Brien, which is a very San Francisco name, take custody of the dogs from Coombs.
[01:05:17]  Janet Coombs.
[01:05:18]  So at this time, Bane is one year old.
[01:05:20]  She's like, Coombs on down.
[01:05:25]  Sorry, I'm sorry.
[01:05:26]  I'm sorry.
[01:05:27]  I'm mentally ill.
[01:05:29]  Okay, so like I said, Bane is almost two years old.
[01:05:33]  Hira is one year, nine months.
[01:05:37]  Janet estimates that they weigh 150 and 130 pounds, respectively.
[01:05:42]  On his hind legs, Bane stands over five feet tall.
[01:05:47]  Oh my God, you're so teeny, Bane.
[01:05:49]  I could like put you in my pocket.
[01:05:50]  Oh my God.
[01:05:51]  This is a fucking huge dog.
[01:05:52]  I'm sorry.
[01:05:53]  We should like.
[01:05:54]  That vet was right.
[01:05:55]  This dog's five feet.
[01:05:58]  Dude, this dog's this dog.
[01:05:59]  Don't put this in, but this dog's two inches taller than me.
[01:06:03]  Oh, my God.
[01:06:04]  But definitely cut that part.
[01:06:06]  All right.
[01:06:06]  Coombs tells.
[01:06:07]  Now, this is key.
[01:06:08]  Coombs tells Nola and Noel that she is worried about the dogs.
[01:06:12]  She says she tells him that she thinks the dogs should be shot.
[01:06:17]  She's just like raising herself.
[01:06:19]  No, you guys got you guys.
[01:06:21]  You guys got to fucking put these motherfuckers.
[01:06:24]  She says they should be shot before taking off the property, which is like, dude, I love Janet Coombs, man.
[01:06:32]  She rocks.
[01:06:34]  Consider me a Coomer, man.
[01:06:36]  I'm a fucking fan of this lady.
[01:06:38]  All right.
[01:06:38]  So she says they're not going to bond with anyone else.
[01:06:41]  Just shoot these dogs if you're going to adopt them, which kind of defeats the purpose.
[01:06:46]  Yeah.
[01:06:46]  Well, you're going to have a lot of fur.
[01:06:49]  All right.
[01:06:49]  So Bane Isis.
[01:06:51]  Oh, God.
[01:06:52]  Bane.
[01:06:54]  I can't stop.
[01:06:55]  This is not a funny story.
[01:06:56]  This is like a funny thing.
[01:06:57]  Call them ISIS.
[01:06:58]  Just call her ISIL.
[01:07:00]  Just call her ISIL.
[01:07:01]  That's like a better.
[01:07:01]  That's actually what you should.
[01:07:03]  That's what I'm saying.
[01:07:03]  Actually, don't even give her that respect.
[01:07:05]  Call her Dash.
[01:07:06]  Yeah.
[01:07:08]  Okay.
[01:07:08]  Bane, Isis, and four puppies are transported to La Puente in Southern California.
[01:07:14]  Hira and Fury are transported to Peninsula Pet Resort in San Carlos.
[01:07:18]  Now, my understanding is that these are both basically fake names for what are like quasi-Mexican cartel situations.
[01:07:28]  The La Puente one definitely is.
[01:07:30]  I think the Peninsula Pet Resort is like literally a pet resort, though.
[01:07:33]  Oh, well, that's not so bad.
[01:07:35]  Like, from the description I read in a book.
[01:07:37]  By the way, the book that I read about this was by somebody named Aphrodite Jones.
[01:07:42]  Love that name.
[01:07:43]  Aphrodite Jones?
[01:07:45]  Wait, how is there a book published about this story?
[01:07:50]  It's called Red Zone: The True Story of the San Francisco Dog.
[01:07:53]  There's like several books about this, baby.
[01:07:56]  Only, only, only Red Zone by Aphrodite Jones is like, is like a one that's like, has stuff that I'm looking for.
[01:08:03]  All the other ones are like basically like guidebooks for like dog mauling lawyers.
[01:08:10]  Oh my god.
[01:08:11]  I can't stop laughing.
[01:08:12]  I'm so sorry if I'm ruining the episode.
[01:08:15]  Sorry, my bad.
[01:08:16]  Can you cut that?
[01:08:18]  Don't cut it.
[01:08:19]  Just kidding.
[01:08:19]  I don't want people to listen to this thing of a slob or something.
[01:08:22]  Oh my God.
[01:08:23]  Okay.
[01:08:24]  Anyway, so in April 30th, the year 2000.
[01:08:32]  That's what always comes in my head after I say the year 2000.
[01:08:35]  Noel and Nolar bring Hira home to the apartment because she has a heart murmur, which, okay, I don't know why that's a reason to bring this huge dog.
[01:08:44]  You know the phrase the heart wants what the heart wants.
[01:08:47]  That comes from heart murmurs because a lot of people think heart murmurs are like something that's wrong with you and like fucking.
[01:08:51]  No, no, they're just whispering their what they their wants and needs.
[01:08:55]  It's like you should be gay.
[01:09:00]  What?
[01:09:01]  That's what the heart murmurs.
[01:09:02]  Yours doesn't do that?
[01:09:04]  Yo, Chomsky, does your heart doesn't tell you.
[01:09:07]  Wait, am I the only one whose heart just seems to have gay sex?
[01:09:12]  Okay, wow.
[01:09:12]  Okay, stop.
[01:09:14]  A couple months later, they get a report that Bane is sickly and in bad shape.
[01:09:19]  That's a quote.
[01:09:20]  So because he's sickly and in bad shape, they bring him to live with this other, with Hira at their apartment in Pac Heights in San Francisco.
[01:09:29]  Right on.
[01:09:30]  And from the beginning, these are bad dogs.
[01:09:35]  They like, like, I, you know, people say, you know, there's like, I don't know, I'm not, I'm not Christian.
[01:09:41]  We don't do this in Judaism, but like, I know in Christianity, there's like the thing that all dogs go to heaven.
[01:09:46]  I think that's like really theologically unsound, but whatever.
[01:09:51]  These dogs are not going to heaven.
[01:09:53]  These dogs are fucking terrors.
[01:09:56]  And like they have tons, they start biting other dogs.
[01:10:00]  They start fucking like lunging at people.
[01:10:03]  All of Paul's, or excuse me, not all of Paul's neighbors, all of the no-no couple's neighbors are like terrified of them.
[01:10:10]  But that doesn't stop.
[01:10:12]  They even, I think, actually, they lunge at Diane Whipple and possibly bite her.
[01:10:16]  Sharon says that they bit her.
[01:10:18]  The Nolar Noel claims.
[01:10:20]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:10:21]  Which I tend to believe.
[01:10:25]  You know, this is actually fucked up.
[01:10:28]  So they, the Nola and Noel are writing letters to Schneider, like basically daily at this point.
[01:10:34]  Yeah, so wait, we need to, we need to pause here because we need to talk about the relationship now with between Nolar, Noel, and Schneider now that they have the dogs.
[01:10:46]  Because this is when things get very weird.
[01:10:50]  And if you think they've already been weird, just wait because they get freaky dicky.
[01:10:55]  This is some freaky dicky shit.
[01:10:57]  So you know how we mentioned that Schneider was pretty adept at seducing women by the power of the pen?
[01:11:05]  Or excuse me, by his quill?
[01:11:07]  That's an even lamer way to say that.
[01:11:10]  Well, it turns out that this sort of middle-aged dumpy couple was no exception.
[01:11:16]  Their letters had grown, let's say, more intimate as time goes on.
[01:11:22]  And so they were representing cornfed.
[01:11:25]  I keep saying different things to the federal federal federal Schneider cornfed.
[01:11:29]  Corn Fed.
[01:11:30]  Just keep up.
[01:11:31]  It's fine.
[01:11:32]  PCFS.
[01:11:33]  That's just like full initials, Paul, Kornfed, Schneider.
[01:11:38]  But, you know, so they're his lawyers.
[01:11:40]  So they actually have privileged communication with him, meaning that the prison guards can't really read their letters.
[01:11:44]  I think that the top sheet that they maybe can read just because it's like open or whatever.
[01:11:49]  But like the rest of it in there is technically, it's like attorney-client stuff.
[01:11:53]  So they can't actually read it.
[01:11:54]  And it turns out that their letters to Paul had over the course of the years grown a lot friendlier than lawyers usually get.
[01:12:07]  In fact, so friendly that you might call them insanely horny and sexual.
[01:12:13]  And like, I don't even know really how to describe it.
[01:12:17]  Like, it's like, essentially what Marjorie would say, and Marjorie was the one who did the bulk of communication sort of the sexual way, but she would say stuff like, well, when I'm like doing, and she would list a number of increasingly obscure and esoteric sexual acts to Robert, her husband, she would essentially say that Paul's spirit was within Robert.
[01:12:43]  And so she was technically having a threesome.
[01:12:46]  So like what they're doing here is like essentially like layman's possession here.
[01:12:52]  Like Paul, I assume, would do some Odinist ritual and he would leave his cell and he would enter into a fat, middle-aged, failing lawyer's body.
[01:12:59]  And then Marjorie Knoller would suck him off.
[01:13:01]  And she would describe this in scintillating detail.
[01:13:07]  These moves.
[01:13:08]  Yeah.
[01:13:10]  They sent like between March and December in 2000, there was like 100 letters sent to and received between the two of them.
[01:13:19]  It's insane.
[01:13:20]  So actually, here's a quote from after the couple picked up the dog.
[01:13:26]  This is from Robert, actually.
[01:13:27]  This isn't from Marjorie.
[01:13:29]  He says, Bane was confident, proud, and handsome.
[01:13:32]  Bane has an eye for the ladies.
[01:13:34]  And when he sees Marjorie, he rolls over on his back and bam, that big red arrow came out.
[01:13:40]  Boy, was that dog hung.
[01:13:44]  Why would you say that?
[01:13:45]  That's so fucking weird.
[01:13:47]  So like, it's, it's, I mean, essentially they became entangled into this kind of like, well, it's really a love triangle.
[01:13:54]  I mean, a lot of these letters, like, you know, I will say, like, it wasn't just like Marjorie or Paul described doing sexual acts, but they became sort of figments of this fantasy that they had.
[01:14:07]  Marjorie referred to Robert as the king and Paul as their prince.
[01:14:12]  And they would write these sort of like Tolkien-esque like fantasy things of like going on the hunt and shit like that.
[01:14:19]  When the authorities raided Schneider's cell, one of the drawings they found was of a woman spread eagled with like an axe going in her in her hoo-ha with a couple of with Bane and Harrow behind her.
[01:14:32]  And Bane and Harrow.
[01:14:34]  So it's like they're like mythological beasts.
[01:14:37]  Yeah.
[01:14:37]  Yeah.
[01:14:37]  Well, especially to Paul.
[01:14:38]  He's never, you know, he's never met these dogs or anything.
[01:14:41]  There is one report too about how, well, and this is sort of foreshadowed in the letters is that Marjorie at one point is like, the next time we come and visit you and have like our attorney client thing, we'll be doing stuff under our clothes.
[01:14:56]  You know, meaning masturbating.
[01:14:58]  And the next time they visited, indeed, the prison authorities say that they actually, they visited him for three hours and then the authorities had to wash off the windows and clean up the ground afterwards.

=== Evidence and Excuses (03:29) ===

[01:15:10]  What?
[01:15:10]  Yes.
[01:15:13]  Probably from cup.
[01:15:14]  Oh my God.
[01:15:18]  So like they were busting nuts.
[01:15:20]  Okay.
[01:15:21]  Yeah, All right.
[01:15:22]  All right.
[01:15:23]  All right.
[01:15:23]  But but once the dog gets in, I mean, Robert basically himself, like, Marjorie is, of course, obsessed with it as well.
[01:15:30]  But Robert's, the way Robert talks about it is insane.
[01:15:33]  One of his friends was like, after this whole kind of case came about, I think in speaking to the press, he said, yeah, Robert basically would talk about literally nothing else but the size of Bane's balls.
[01:15:44]  Like, that was like the only topic of conversation for him.
[01:15:47]  That's like a weird cuck thing.
[01:15:49]  Yeah.
[01:15:49]  Oh, that's totally what this is.
[01:15:51]  I mean, it's like they.
[01:15:53]  Is he getting cucked by the dog?
[01:15:56]  Well, I think we should would be remiss if we didn't mention the fact that, so a lot of Paul's letters have come out and like a lot of this was presented as evidence in the case.
[01:16:06]  There is some evidence that remains sealed, which according to people who have seen it, does describe both letters and photographs of Marjorie fucking the dogs.
[01:16:20]  What?
[01:16:21]  So, wait, seriously.
[01:16:22]  Yeah, you know how like people have sex?
[01:16:24]  No, wait, no, I don't mean that.
[01:16:26]  I just mean like, I didn't know that.
[01:16:28]  Yes, that is the case.
[01:16:30]  I mean, it's always been like, so, so, I mean, sort of in local legend, this has always kind of been like something that's floated around the case.
[01:16:36]  I know.
[01:16:36]  Did they or did they?
[01:16:37]  I should say, like, I remember when this happened, everyone was sort of like, there's, it was in the air in the media circus.
[01:16:45]  It wasn't explicit, but it was out there.
[01:16:48]  Yeah.
[01:16:48]  The rumor.
[01:16:49]  Yeah, people are like, okay, yeah, they're fucking the dogs.
[01:16:52]  Like, but, but, like, it was never proven.
[01:16:54]  And I mean, I will stop.
[01:16:56]  I'll tell you this.
[01:16:58]  Until my dying fucking day, I will stop at nothing to get this evidence into the light to show it to get the truth will out, people.
[01:17:09]  Truth will out.
[01:17:14]  Oh my God.
[01:17:15]  The only FOIA you ever file.
[01:17:18]  I filed several about you.
[01:17:21]  Oh, very funny.
[01:17:22]  Didn't find anything.
[01:17:23]  Well, no.
[01:17:24]  Well, I actually file about every woman I know because I always assume they're lying about my age or about their age, excuse me.
[01:17:29]  And so I file FOIAs to figure out the truth.
[01:17:33]  That's terrible.
[01:17:34]  Yeah, it doesn't work.
[01:17:36]  Just steal their wallets.
[01:17:38]  Oh, yeah.
[01:17:38]  No, women clutch their purses when I walk around.
[01:17:42]  It's not.
[01:17:42]  Believe me, if I could, I would.
[01:17:45]  Okay, so, okay, you mentioned naked photographs.
[01:17:50]  There's other photographs, right, of Marjorie, the ones that you send me.
[01:17:53]  Marjorie, there are.
[01:17:54]  Those are public.
[01:17:55]  Yes, and I'll post some of them, I guess, with the episode too.
[01:17:58]  Marjorie is, and I don't say this.
[01:18:01]  You just want an excuse to post something.
[01:18:03]  Yeah, obviously I want an excuse to post.
[01:18:05]  I post them like on my Instagram and stuff.
[01:18:07]  Marjorie is gnarly looking.
[01:18:11]  And like, okay, I get it.
[01:18:13]  You're in fucking prison.
[01:18:15]  Like, maybe.
[01:18:17]  Oh, you mean now?
[01:18:18]  No, no, no, no.
[01:18:19]  Back then, Marjorie was ugly.
[01:18:20]  Oh, oh.
[01:18:21]  all right i have been locked away in places where i couldn't get no poonanny for like long periods of time and i was never like i mean this is like this is not the kind of person whose pictures you would jerk off over Yeah, but he's also looking at three years.

=== Adoption Appreciation (02:33) ===

[01:18:39]  I mean, three life sentences.
[01:18:40]  Like, he's never coming out.
[01:18:42]  Yeah, but like, why would you make that worse by like getting these pictures?
[01:18:45]  Like, these are not.
[01:18:47]  Well, because you can only get what you get.
[01:18:49]  I mean, I don't know.
[01:18:50]  What does Janet look like?
[01:18:51]  Yeah, not well, I shouldn't speak ill of Janet.
[01:18:54]  She is a beautiful soul.
[01:18:55]  But in my head, like Paul wrote letters back to them, but it kind of seems that like Marjorie and Robert were the ones that were like really pushing this kind of line.
[01:19:06]  I mean, yeah, okay.
[01:19:08]  It was like, it's it gets even grosser.
[01:19:12]  Like, I keep saying that, but like, it actually does.
[01:19:15]  This is like, uh, this is one letter that Robert writes to Schneider.
[01:19:21]  Or this is part of the letter, a long letter.
[01:19:24]  It just starts on the adoption, which is like, wait a second, what?
[01:19:29]  But I'll keep going.
[01:19:30]  On the adoption, I believe that Marjorie and I do have an appreciation of what it means to you.
[01:19:37]  My letters since the one of the 31st go into more of my feelings on the matter.
[01:19:42]  We will have talked about this, I think, in considerable detail when we are together.
[01:19:47]  It is the one form of legal action which can join the three of us in a binding family unit.
[01:19:54]  If it were permitted to be accomplished through a second marriage, that would have been the medium.
[01:19:59]  But we have become a family, and Marjorie and I are prepared to go as far as possible to formalize that arrangement.
[01:20:09]  Like, what the fuck?
[01:20:11]  So, to put that in sort of plainer terms, Paul was not only their client, he was not only the third in their self-described triad, he was legally their son.
[01:20:35]  oh man okay so we were a little ambitious when we were doing this this episode and we thought we could do this all in one episode Turns out, nope, there's too much to talk about.
[01:20:47]  We haven't even talked about the murder.
[01:20:48]  We planned this one.
[01:20:49]  We're like, well, we did a lot of research for the other ones.
[01:20:50]  Like, let's do like a really easy one for a second.
[01:20:53]  And then, yeah, like, we both remember this story.
[01:20:56]  This is from our child.
[01:20:57]  I spent every waking time.
[01:20:58]  It's kind of fucked up how this is a story from our child.
[01:21:01]  This has been a story that, like, whenever people move here, I always, I relish at being able to tell them this story.
[01:21:07]  You know what I'm literally going to do after we stop recording tonight?
[01:21:10]  I'm going to walk down to that house.

=== Part Two: The Murder Story (00:41) ===

[01:21:12]  Yeah, you should.
[01:21:13]  Absolutely.
[01:21:14]  It was, yeah.
[01:21:15]  I know exactly where it is, too.
[01:21:17]  Quite famous.
[01:21:18]  Oh, yeah.
[01:21:19]  So, anyway, we got to get it.
[01:21:20]  We're going to record part two.
[01:21:22]  And this story doesn't get weirder, by the way.
[01:21:27]  Yeah.
[01:21:28]  It is.
[01:21:30]  Well, I guess you'll just have to see, brothers and sisters.
[01:21:32]  And by which I mean, please don't look it up before you listen to part two.
[01:21:37]  Well, on that note, I'm like.
[01:21:39]  My name is Bryce.
[01:21:43]  What it is.
[01:21:44]  I'm not lying.
[01:21:45]  We're joined by producer Young Chomsky, too.
[01:21:47]  Young Chomsky and we will see you next time.
[01:21:53]  Bye-bye.