True Anon Truth Feed - [PREVIEW] Episode 36: In the Pedoplane Over the Sea
Aired: 2020-01-18
Duration: 04:56


=== Confessions Of A Straight Man (03:07) ===

[00:00:00]  If I, if, if, here's the thing.
[00:00:03]  If I, straight up, if I have sex with his boyfriend, it's not, I mean, it doesn't matter if it's gay or not, but it's not gay if I do it, literally, because I'm not gay.
[00:00:14]  If you're just tuning in, he's talking about, are we recording?
[00:00:17]  Oh, he's talking about chasing Buddhajic.
[00:00:19]  Yeah, here's the thing.
[00:00:21]  I will, I will, I will have the worst, the worst sex with you.
[00:00:26]  And you will just be like, this is what?
[00:00:30]  What?
[00:00:31]  This is horrible.
[00:00:33]  Ah, his stubble on me everywhere?
[00:00:36]  Somehow it seems like he has six hands and all of them have too many calluses.
[00:00:40]  I will, oh, I can't even tell.
[00:00:43]  I don't know if it's in or if it's out, but I don't, I don't like it.
[00:00:46]  It's he's squirming around.
[00:00:48]  It's like somebody, it's like, it's like somebody just put mud all over a pig and threw him in a fucking swimming pool.
[00:00:56]  It's wet and it's dirty and I don't like it and it stinks.
[00:01:00]  And that's what I'm going to do to you.
[00:01:01]  I'm going to fucking, I want to, I want to fuck you.
[00:01:04]  I'm not even going to fuck you silly.
[00:01:05]  I'm going to fuck you sad.
[00:01:07]  I'm going to have sex with you so gross that you're just going to be in hell forever because of it.
[00:01:15]  Not because of gay stuff.
[00:01:17]  Because it's you accepted me.
[00:01:20]  And I will end whatever you will be.
[00:01:25]  You will join.
[00:01:26]  And I hate to make this reference again.
[00:01:28]  You will join the scoptic set of Orthodox Russians where you chop off your balls and nipples forever because you will be like, that sex was so disgusting.
[00:01:40]  That's what I'm going to do to you.
[00:01:41]  That's how we win New Hampshire.
[00:02:08]  Welcome to True Enough.
[00:02:11]  Hello, Patreon.
[00:02:12]  I am your host.
[00:02:13]  Yeah, this is Patreon.
[00:02:14]  We can't be able to do that.
[00:02:15]  Yeah, we're never unlocking this episode.
[00:02:17]  No, no, I just, that's the thing, because we got to keep these exclusive by me just, I'm talking dirty.
[00:02:24]  My voice is hoarse now from screaming.
[00:02:27]  Liz has been smoking Cubanos for the past three hours.
[00:02:30]  We are on the beach in San Diego right now.
[00:02:33]  I'm so warm.
[00:02:35]  Aren't you?
[00:02:36]  I'm literally rubbing my hands together because I'm so cold.
[00:02:40]  Our producer lives in what you might term as an oubliette.
[00:02:44]  And it not only doesn't have central heating, it actually has central freezing.
[00:02:48]  There's a pipe connected to the roof of his apartment building.
[00:02:52]  We are in the basement, by the way.
[00:02:54]  And literally, it's just for rain to come down.
[00:02:56]  It goes into the center of the room.
[00:02:57]  So we walk around with wet socks.
[00:02:59]  Brace, you're very funny today.
[00:03:01]  Yeah, you know why?
[00:03:03]  Xanax.
[00:03:04]  I took Xanax.
[00:03:05]  No compunctions.

=== Pink Streamers and AK-47s (01:49) ===

[00:03:07]  Nothing can tell me no.
[00:03:09]  You know why I'm so happy today?
[00:03:10]  Why?
[00:03:11]  Because I am a proud owner of a brand new AR-15, baby.
[00:03:18]  That's right.
[00:03:19]  I broke it already.
[00:03:21]  Making it even more California compliant.
[00:03:24]  Oh, I don't.
[00:03:26]  It's pretty.
[00:03:26]  You showed it to me.
[00:03:27]  It's a pretty good one.
[00:03:28]  Yeah, I got the full thing.
[00:03:30]  I got some fucking, I got some magazines for it.
[00:03:35]  I like the white and pink streamers that come with it.
[00:03:41]  Yes.
[00:03:42]  Because it's the Barbie version.
[00:03:43]  I did get the Barbie version.
[00:03:45]  There is a pink gun there.
[00:03:46]  Really?
[00:03:47]  Yeah.
[00:03:48]  Yeah.
[00:03:48]  It's a baby pink?
[00:03:50]  It's like a 20.
[00:03:50]  It's like a little 22, I think, for a kid.
[00:03:52]  There's like a tie-dye one, too.
[00:03:53]  Wait, $150.
[00:03:55]  Yeah.
[00:03:56]  No kid gun.
[00:03:57]  No kid gun.
[00:03:58]  Have you been watching the news for the past three years?
[00:04:01]  That's like practically all kids do.
[00:04:03]  No, no, it's like, it's like a bolt action rifle that just like, it's not, you can't do a shooting with it.
[00:04:10]  I shot one when I was at summer camp, the only time I ever went when I was a kid.
[00:04:14]  It was pink?
[00:04:15]  No, no.
[00:04:16]  No, it was probably cool.
[00:04:18]  It was probably red.
[00:04:20]  But yeah, so I'm very, I'm very excited about that.
[00:04:24]  However, if you know how to put the little safety thing back in, please DM the True Anon account because as you may, some of you may know, I'm very used to working with AK-47s, which just like, there's like four screws in there.
[00:04:39]  There's not like, it's not very complicated.
[00:04:42]  It's really easy.
[00:04:43]  Literally children can use them and do.
[00:04:46]  And when I understood the AK-47 very well, the AR-15 to me, it is like trying to figure out the mind of a woman.
[00:04:54]  Too complicated.
[00:04:55]  Everything's always broken.