Shameless Sperg - Chris Booth - Shameless Sperg's Testimony

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Sept. 28, 2025 - Shameless Sperg - Chris Booth

01:02:20

Shameless Sperg's Testimony

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	Hi folks, I am the Shameless Burg.
	I hope you're doing well today.
	So today I just want to give you an update about where I'm at and what's going on.
	I know I haven't posted as much lately, and there's a number of reasons for that.
	Um, not the least of which is I've been really busy and then trying to get started back up off of YouTube has been um very difficult.
	And coming up with the time to make new videos has been difficult, but the biggest difficulty that I've had has just been the fact that things are not well with my soul, or that things have not been well with my soul.
	You know, it's pretty obvious based on the content that I've put out and the way that I write my ex posts that I've been pretty consumed with anger and contempt and hatred, and I think that my feelings have been pretty justified.
	I think I make a pretty good case for why I have those feelings, and I've just been honest and truthful about it.
	You know, my honest thoughts and opinions and my reactions to what's going on in the world around me.
	I think you know who could blame me for being angry, and I just wanted to be understood.
	I wanted to be heard and understood, and for it to at least make sense to some people why I feel the way I do.
	And fortunately, a lot of people did understand, a lot of people resonated, and it was just nice to be heard and understood for a change.
	But you know, the uh the inevitable doxing and gassing happened, and I wasn't shocked by it.
	I kind of figured that that stuff would happen eventually.
	It came very quickly, and it came very dramatically.
	It it blew up so much bigger than I could have imagined.
	And things started to get really ugly for me and for my family, and to a great extent, they still are pretty ugly.
	I would have hoped by now that everything would have subsided, but I have not been so fortunate in that way.
	But really, the worst part of it has been damage to personal relationships.
	I don't feel bad about it.
	I was just being honest, and I put my videos out there, and I didn't send them to people that I know would make them uncomfortable, but I'm also not gonna bite my tongue on the chance that somebody might find it, that somebody who disapproves might find it and cause some trouble with me.
	So I spoke my mind and I don't regret it.
	But yeah, things got very ugly, and betrayals in the family, and people who are just incapable of looking back over the years they've known me, my actual attitude and behavior towards them, and it makes just no difference to them at all.
	Once they identified that I'm this thought criminal and I have these hurty words and these opinions they don't like, all that shit went right out the window.
	You know?
	It's like it never mattered.
	Like who I was to them never actually mattered.
	And again, I guess I'm not that surprised either, but I didn't expect it to spread through my family so much, and unfortunately, that's affected my wife and kids too.
	And I feel bad for them, I feel bad for their sake.
	On the other hand, people recognize that the way that we have been treated by various family members is not right.
	The way that we have been hounded and harassed by locals and slandered and lied about, have people write fictitious shit in their newspapers or or you know, deceptively quote us or anything like that.
	So things got really ugly, and then you know, even so far as a grandmother turning on us, you know, my my little girls are out of a grandmother now.
	And then now I think that my own mother has discovered the project because she ceased communicating with me without announcement, as usual.
	This will be the third time.
	Um she didn't say anything to me, but I'm pretty sure that she found out because she just stopped talking.
	She stopped communicating, and I know what that means with her because I've experienced it before, and that's unfortunate, but again, it's come down to my thoughts and my opinions.
	I know that they're offensive to many people.
	I I know that.
	But you know, if if all you can do is reduce me down to my thoughts and my opinions, and if you can only have something to do with me when my thoughts and opinions are in accord with yours, largely in agreement with yours, I mean, where does that leave me?
	And you know, as things were getting ugly in my own life, things were getting really ugly around the world too.
	I mean, a really notable marked increase of just shittiness happening.
	You know, between that savage cruel stabbing of the Ukrainian refugee by that black man on the train, to like in the following day or two, the assassination of Charlie Kirk, but most of all the reactions to his death, to his assassination.
	I knew that I'd see at least a few leftists praising and celebrating it, but it was a lot, it's been a lot, and they haven't stopped.
	I was at one point making a Video about it.
	I was gonna make this compilation of all these clips I found of them saying horrible things and dancing on his grave and snickering and laughing, but there were too many clips.
	It started to get too long, and I was like, What's the point?
	This doesn't even need an expose.
	They're just flooding the internet with it.
	It's everywhere.
	You can't miss it.
	So I was like, Well, there's no point.
	I don't even need to make this video.
	And what do I even say at this point?
	I was just so thoroughly repulsed and disgusted by it all.
	And just seeing some of the cackling delight and seeing some of the sheer giddiness and all the wickedness of it.
	And it just occurred to me that I no longer believe that you can just simply brainwash people into being that evil.
	I really don't.
	I think that you can brainwash people to believe a lot of ridiculous things.
	I believe that you can brainwash people into committing terrible things, but I'm seeing a spirit animate these people.
	I'm seeing something animate these people that I don't believe can just be brainwashed into someone.
	When I look at them, I say, these are demons.
	These are literally demons wearing skin suits.
	You know, when I look around and I see the attitudes and the behaviors and the insanity and the inversion and the calling good evil and the calling evil good and all of this nonsense.
	I look around and I see demons.
	And you can think I'm crazy or schizo or whatever, but when I look around at all this stuff, I don't believe it's natural, I don't believe it's normal, and I don't believe it simply got brainwashed into them by Jews.
	I really don't.
	I think that people are infested with evil spirits.
	And the more that I looked at it all, the more this verse from the book of Ephesians kept bouncing around my brain.
	It was like the loudest thought in my mind, just bouncing around and wouldn't give me any peace.
	And this is it.
	Ephesians 6 12.
	For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
	When I read that, it strikes a chord in my soul.
	When I read that, I'm like, yeah, that's what we're dealing with here.
	You know, we think that this is just a flesh and blood battle, but I'm not so convinced anymore.
	And I don't think that this could all just be conquered by flesh and blood.
	I think there's something deeper going on.
	And I'm not saying that we shouldn't make real world effort to try to set things aright, including the use of physical force if necessary.
	I do believe that it doesn't stop there.
	And that we're seeing a level of demonic activity and evil in people that demands to be reckoned with, and I'm just no longer content with saying that these people have simply been brainwashed.
	Sure, they're brainwashed, but the evil that's pouring out of them, it's just something that comes from a deeper part.
	It seems like it comes somewhere from deep inside.
	It's so outlandishly cartoonishly evil that it just about makes my blood run cold.
	And you know, in the midst of all this turbulence, and in the midst of just feeling like, what do we even do now?
	Things are way too wicked, and people around me are going crazy.
	You got people running around slandering and making up lies.
	I mean ridiculous lies, trying to cause all kinds of problems in my life, people close to us, betraying us, turning on us, abandoning us, and then looking around at the world and going, There is something deeply, deeply wrong with this entire picture.
	And while this is happening, you know, people are reaching out to me from all over the world, in my emails, or they're going to my buy me a coffee and making donations to express that they're praying for me, and to express that God really put it on their hearts to say, listen, God knows what you're going through, and he hasn't given up on you, and he gave you these talents for a reason, and please, you know, just turn back to God, turn back to Jesus Christ because he loves you and because he wants you to come back home.
	And I was thankful and grateful for the kindness and for reaching out and the spirit in which they intended these things, and of course, thankful for the donations that they were giving.
	These were all really great.
	But my reactions were to sort of explain why not gonna happen, never gonna happen.
	I'm done, and here's why, and you know, they took it well, but they were pretty persistent, but then like various coincidences and chance encounters were occurring both in my life and in the life of my wife, and just situations going on around me.
	Uh, not all of which I'll list, but just weird things were happening, coincidences, strange stuff that just doesn't add up, you know.
	And these types of coincidences and synchronicities tend to catch my attention, they tend to grab my notice, particularly when there's a lot of surrounding context.
	Something really got to me, you know.
	Uh, even my six year old daughter.
	Yeah, she came to me saying that she had dreams about Jesus, how she saw him in her dreams, and she was saying things about Jesus that I had never told her before, and I can tell you she definitely didn't hear them from anywhere else.
	She was saying these strange, biblically accurate, metaphysically accurate things about Jesus Christ, and I'm like, where is this even coming from?
	And she was exhibiting this love for him that I never taught her to have.
	I'm just being honest, I never taught her to have that love.
	I told her a little bit about him.
	I told her a bit about Christianity and Christian history and about the Bible.
	I told her some about the history of Christianization of the European peoples, but I never really got into doctrine.
	I never really got into the story of Jesus Christ in any depth.
	I didn't tell her much of anything of substance about him.
	And so here she is, she's saying these things that are beyond her understanding.
	You know, not only had she not heard them, but they were things that are just beyond her understanding or beyond her mental capacity to grasp some of what she was saying to me, and yet she was saying them.
	So she exhibits this love for him that I never taught her to have, and she didn't know him.
	She didn't know any of this.
	All she knew was my paganism and my occultism and my anti-communism.
	Now look, anti-communism is permanent.
	That's not going anywhere for me.
	I have been anti-communist my entire life.
	In fact, it's the number one position that I have held my whole life that I have been the most unwavering on.
	It's my anti-communism.
	Fuck communism.
	So she began asking me questions about Jesus, and I found myself having to give to her an account of what I really think about Jesus Christ.
	She was asking me, So is Jesus good, or is Jesus bad?
	She was asking me, is Jesus real or is Jesus fake?
	And without my answering, she said, I think he's good and I think he's real.
	And like I said, I never taught her to believe in him.
	But even the neutral, Bible-based, non-retorical answers I was giving to her questions made her eyes light up.
	She wanted to know more.
	She wanted to know about the various Bible stories.
	She was very eager to learn.
	I've not ever seen her so eager to learn really anything.
	And she's a curious child.
	And when I would answer her and share things with her, I had never seen her fix her attention so purely on anything.
	So I started to read to her right from the Bible and out of some kids' books about the Bible.
	And I had never seen her love any writing so much before.
	I mean, she was so eager.
	She'd pop up on my lap and she would be so excited and still, and I wouldn't have to be telling her to pay attention or anything like that.
	I mean, she just honed right in.
	And what's more, I was reading to her out of a King James Bible.
	Okay, this is no new international version or some kid's Bible or the message or something like that.
	No, the King James Bible.
	It's the only one I read anyway.
	So on the way to the park with her one day, uh I decided to share a few songs with her.
	A few Christian songs that I really enjoyed years ago, and I thought, you know, she might like these.
	But in particular, she ended up latching on to this one song.
	It's an end times related song called As in the Days of Noah by Missy Elliott.
	Of all the songs for her to latch on to, I couldn't have imagined it would have been such a heavy song, but she just loved it.
	She requests it all the time.
	She requested that I put it on today, even, you know, when I was driving her home from the park.
	She's like, you know, will you put on that as in the days of Noah's song?
	And I'm like, okay, I mean, you really seem to like that song, so I put it on.
	It's heavy, but she loves that song.
	But the bottom line is that all of this stuff made me fall under deep conviction, deep spiritual conviction.
	And I found myself confronted with God.
	I found myself confronted with Jesus Christ in a way that I hadn't been since I was 17, sitting in a jail cell.
	Now, to make a long story short about how I ended up in that jail cell at 17.
	When I was 16, I had some pretty serious drug problems.
	And I was just always getting into all sorts of trouble, and so are my friends, and I honestly just didn't care about anything.
	I didn't care whether I lived or died.
	And that's just the truth.
	Because at the time I felt I had nothing to live for.
	I didn't care about anything.
	I just wanted to not feel, and I did a lot of drugs, and it Was destroying me.
	And if I hadn't cut out what I was doing, I wasn't gonna make it to see 18 years old.
	So one night when I was with some friends, I had just turned 17 not long before.
	We're driving around really late at night, um, riding in the back seat of this guy's Jeep, and you know, every store that we stopped at, I'd go in and like hawk a couple of beers.
	Okay, I'm not proud of it.
	I did a little bit of shoplifting during this period of my life, okay.
	And this was one of those nights, and so I was stealing these beers.
	We'd go from place to place, I'd steal two, three, four beers, whatever, slam them down on to the next place.
	Next thing you know, you know, we're at a Walmart, it's two in the morning, I'm already drunk as a skunk, and we go inside, and I was just like, Well, I'm gonna go see if there's some like old video games I can take, and you know, I can get them over to GameStop or a pawn store and maybe get a little cash for it.
	This is where I was at.
	I'm just being honest, okay.
	I'm not a thief.
	This was the one time in my life where I did any of these shenanigans, but it is an honest part of my story.
	That's what I was up to.
	But you know, being so late, I didn't really expect anybody would notice.
	I mean, of all the times that I shoplifted, I just didn't think that that would have been the time I would get caught.
	But that's exactly what happened.
	So apparently there were some like mystery shopper types for like security wearing plain clothes that noticed me trying to pop some video games behind my belt and make it out the door.
	They tell me, hey, you need to put those back, and my dumb drunk ass was like, no, and I started to run.
	Generally speaking, I'm a fast runner.
	Ordinarily, I probably could have gotten away from these guys, but I was drunk.
	So, but I still tried anyway.
	I run out the door, the dudes are chasing after me, and then I started to realize like they're gonna catch up with me.
	And if I keep doing this, they're probably gonna tackle me, and I don't want to get tackled.
	So I just stopped, turned around, and slowly started walking back in their direction.
	So they take me back into the Walmart, they take me to this manager's office.
	He's sitting in front of you know the camera screens, and he's asking me, Do you have anything else?
	You know, did you steal anything else?
	The truth is I lied.
	I actually had stolen a couple of beers at the same time, but you know, in my drunken state, and at this point feeling kind of desperate, I was just thinking to myself, after this, I'm gonna want those drinks.
	And I was wearing really baggy clothes, and they weren't, you know, in a position to be patting me down.
	So I just sort of denied it.
	I was like, nope, that's it, you know, just the video games, that's it.
	So after that, they're like, Okay, well, you know, you're obviously not gonna be allowed to come back to the store.
	I was like, okay, of course.
	And they're like, um, do you have a ride home?
	You know, do you need to call anyone?
	I was like, no, I'm fine.
	I came with some friends, you know, it should be fine.
	So they walk me out the door and they're like, Are you sure?
	Because as soon as we walk you out the door, you're never allowed back in.
	And I'm like, I I got it.
	So I walk out the door and I find that my friends had left.
	They were nowhere to be found.
	I would find out later, it's because they got spooked.
	You know, they saw that I got caught and they didn't want to be anywhere around.
	I get it, but yeah, so they disappeared.
	And unfortunately, I didn't have a cell phone on me at the time.
	This was back in the days of flip phones anyway, but I didn't have that on me because the cell phone I had had gotten stolen a week before.
	So when I get out there and discover the car's gone, I'm like walking around the entire parking lot.
	Like, are they hid hit out somewhere?
	Did they try to go park low-key somewhere else and wait for me?
	No, they're gone.
	So I make my way back up to the front where the uh manager and the security guard are still standing.
	And I'm like, look, you know, I know you guys offered me a phone call and I turned it down because my friends had taken me, but they have completely left, and I don't have a cell phone anymore.
	Can I please take you up on that phone call?
	And I'll never come back, obviously.
	I just need to try to call my dad.
	And they were like, Nope.
	You know, we told you that as soon as you stepped out that door, you were never allowed back in.
	And I was just like, for real.
	Like, my friends ditched me, okay.
	I just need to make a quick phone call.
	They're like, Nope.
	And I was like, Alright.
	So I began walking off.
	I drank my couple of beers that I had, you know, kept hidden out, and I just kept walking down the road.
	And I was like, Alright, well, it's gonna be a seven-mile walk.
	And I'm walking, and a couple of miles into my walk up the road, I could see the headlines of a crown vic, which back then all the cops were using crown VIX.
	And I was like, is that a cop?
	That looks like crown fake lights.
	I hope that's not a cop.
	And about the time I asked myself that question, I watch his, you know, lights go on and he starts to speed up to get up to where I am, pulls off, asked me what's up, you know.
	I just tell them I'm trying to get home.
	I was with some friends, but they ditched me, and I didn't have a ride, and I didn't have a phone and all this stuff.
	And uh, you know, cop asked me, had I been drinking.
	Now, I shouldn't have been so stupid as to say no, but you know, in my brain, I was like, Well, uh, I'm gonna at least try to deny it, we'll see what happens.
	So then he pulls out a breathalyzer and he pops it in front of me, and he's just like, here, you know, blow.
	And while he holds it in front of me, he turns to look at his ride along, and he's talking to them, and I just sort of went at it, hoping that if I didn't fix my lips actually on the breathalyzer, perhaps it would have thrown the result.
	Oh no, it still showed up just fine.
	And so the cop says to me, I thought you said you hadn't been drinking, and I was like, Yeah, I know.
	I was like, Look, I had to try.
	And uh, he was like, Well, that's gonna get you a disorderly conduct charge on top of your you know, underage possession of alcohol or underage consumption, whatever charge it was.
	And I was like, Okay, he's like, Well, you know, do you live with a parent?
	And I'm like, Yeah, you know, well, can we take you to him?
	I'm like, Yeah, yeah, sure.
	I'm like, the problem is I don't have my house keys on me, so and I don't have a cell phone.
	And they're like, Okay, so we get there, they try banging on the door, they try banging on his bedroom window, they try shining the light in there, and they're yelling, and they're doing all this stuff, and nothing was working, and I knew why.
	It's because he was passed out on barbiturates and liquor.
	That's what they didn't know.
	He was out cold because he was taking a bunch of pills and uh liquor.
	So since that failed, their next question was, Well, do you have a friend you can stay with?
	I was like, Yeah, I can stay with my next door neighbor.
	But my next door neighbor was known to them, he was a bit of a troublemaker in the area, actually a member of the Bloods from Compton, California, believe it or not.
	And so they were like, Oh no, you're not staying there.
	And I'm just like, Okay, man, like, well, we're gonna take you on down to the jail, and you know, your father can come pick you up from there when he's ready.
	And I'm like, uh, great, great.
	So we get there, get me into this holding cell, and from the holding cell, I went to try to make a call to my dad, and of course he answered then.
	And so I explained to him the situation and what was going on, and he was like, Alright, I'll be there in 30 minutes to pick you up.
	Not too long later, the cops moved me from the holding cell into an actual cell, and I figured I'll just nap a little bit before he gets here.
	And I wake up and it's the morning.
	He had not come, and I was like, Oh boy, so I was stuck.
	I didn't know when I was going to get out, and I had no means of contacting anyone.
	So I just sat there wondering, and I'm like, Well, I'm here now.
	And now it was one of those situations where um either a parent could sign me out or somebody could post bond for me.
	That was my only way out.
	Otherwise, I was gonna have to wait till my court date.
	I didn't know when my court date was even gonna be, so I was just in there for I didn't know how long it was gonna go.
	Already my dad had said he was gonna pick me up.
	By then I realized that that definitely was not going to happen, and he wasn't gonna be picking me up that day either.
	I just knew it.
	So come my first visitation when he comes to visit me, he explains like, look, here's why I didn't come to pick you up.
	I called your mom, I explained to her the situation and kind of what you've been up to, and so she asked me to let you stay in here to detox from the drugs, and I was so fing angry, and I slammed the phone against the glass, and I was screaming at him, and I was just going completely unhinged.
	And he was just like, Well, you know, you're gonna have to stay until I notice a change or a change of attitude.
	Like, you you need to spend some more time in here.
	I hated him so much for it, especially because I knew all the crap he was up to.
	I'm just like, really?
	I mean, you okay, dude.
	But hey, I guess my mother persuaded him, you know.
	So that's where I stayed.
	And so we got a chance to make phone calls like one day a week.
	It was Wednesdays, they'd you know, rolled his dolly in there, and you could try to make a a collect call.
	And a couple of times I managed to get through to a friend.
	And of course, they wanted to bond me out, but nobody was gonna be able to do that.
	Even if they had the money, look, we were all doing drugs, okay?
	It would have gone to drugs.
	And I wasn't even gonna be mad at them for it, because frankly, in that situation, I would have wanted to use it on drunks too.
	So let me describe the cell as it was.
	So the jail I was at, you know, you had general population, and then you had these cell blocks.
	General population is where you know the people old enough to go into general population, that's where they're gonna go.
	Otherwise, you're gonna go on to this cell block, you know, if you're too young, or if there's situations where you have to be separated from general population, say in the event of a fight or some sort of other altercation.
	Sometimes they would separate people by moving them over to these other cell blocks.
	The cell blocks had individual cells, so it wasn't like general population.
	So my cell block, for example, you'd walk in, and there were four cells on the right.
	So they all had bars in front of them, but then otherwise there were these solid, you know, metal cubes, kind of, and then down at the far end, there was this shower, and so for once a day for a period of an hour, you would be allowed out into the cell block corridor so that you could stretch your legs, walk around a little bit, get a shower, whatever, and then you'd go back into lockup.
	And so initially the other two or three cells were also occupied, um, you know, by some pretty interesting characters, no doubt.
	And between people being released or people being transferred back to general population, I found myself alone in that cell block.
	For about a week, I was the only inmate in that cell block.
	Um, and so it became de facto solitary confinement.
	And let me tell you something, I went completely crazy.
	Um, you know, I was obviously detoxing off the drugs, and I was trying to adjust the situation I was in.
	I was still unclear about when I was gonna get out.
	You know, I was just in there, stuck, and now I had no one.
	It was literally solitary confinement at that point for about a week, and just laying there in the middle of the night one night, I was incredibly upset, and I was just thinking back on my life.
	I was thinking back on myself, I was thinking how much I missed my mother.
	I was thinking how much I wish that I could just live a simple cleaner life, but I felt like, well, it's too late for that now.
	And so I just lay there incredibly upset and thinking about how unfortunate it was that things turned out this way.
	And so laying there, feeling desperately alone, I decided, you know what?
	Hey god, I don't know if you're real anymore.
	I don't know if you're there, and if you can hear me though, I just want someone to talk to.
	That's it.
	Can you just send me somebody to talk to?
	Because I've been alone for like a week and I'm losing my mind, and I just I just need someone to talk to.
	And that was it.
	I left it at that.
	I curled up, I went to sleep, and then I don't know, probably a couple hours later at most.
	It was still the dead of the night when this happened.
	I hear this cell block door open, and I hear a guard with an inmate, and he's walking him in to the cell directly next to mine.
	And the guy's crying, weeping, and I'm like, oh boy, what's going on?
	And so once he got settled in, and he's sitting there in the cell next to me crying.
	I'm like, hey dude, you know, what's going on?
	You okay?
	Like, what happened?
	What's going on?
	So he's crying, and he's explaining to me, like, look, I'm I've got a little boy, and I'm probably not gonna be able to see him again until he's at least 18 years old, and I'm like, whoa.
	He's like, Yeah, I've I've gotten into a lot of trouble, and so I've I've probably lost my parental rights, and I felt really terrible for the guy.
	And so I expressed some some compassion and some empathy for him, because hey man, that sucks.
	But then, of course, he he wanted to know about me, you know, what why is this 17-year-old here?
	Why am I here?
	So I told him some of my story, and I told him the way I'd been living and sort of what led up to that.
	And he was just like, dude, he's like, You remind me of myself when I was 17.
	The man was 27 at the time, and he said, Um, now you don't you don't want to end up like me when you're 27, you don't want to end up like me in 10 years, you know, sitting in jail, not able to talk to his family anymore.
	And I was pretty heavy to hear.
	And so he says to me, Chris, the only way to live is in the Lord.
	And I was like, Ugh, you know, God.
	Look, I had been raised Christian.
	I knew a lot about Christianity.
	I had been Christian as a kid.
	I had really lost my way at that point.
	Yeah, at that point, I even dabbled in stupid Levane Satanism because it's just edgy, but it wasn't anything serious for me.
	But that's where I was at, you know, just done.
	And I didn't want to hear it.
	So he's saying this stuff, and I'm like, dude, Roy, no, just I don't want to hear this.
	Please just stop.
	And he just kept repeating himself.
	He's like, listen, Chris, the only way to live is in the Lord.
	And I'm like, and I look look up at the ceiling.
	I'm like, seriously, I'm gonna be locked up next to a preachy guy.
	And almost immediately the irony set in with me that I had prayed and asked, like, can you send me someone to talk to?
	And not but maybe two hours later, after a week in isolation, this guy gets brought in, and what does he have to say?
	The only way to live is in the Lord.
	He's coming in bringing this message of uh turn to God, basically.
	And I'm like, that's ironic.
	That's kind of funny.
	So he persisted, and I started to get increasingly more irritated, and I was just like, Roy, you know, look, I was raised Christian, I know about this, I don't want to hear about it, I'm done.
	And he was like, Look, just promise me that you'll think about what I've said.
	And I was just like, Okay, sure.
	I'll think about what you've said.
	I'm gonna go to sleep now, Roy.
	And he's like, Okay.
	So I go to sleep, and then when I wake up in the morning, my whole face is just drenched, like as though in my sleep I had been weeping or crying.
	I had no conscious awareness of that.
	I just know that that's how I woke up.
	And I know I woke up feeling very different.
	I felt lighter and somehow freer behind bars than I had felt in years.
	Uh, there was there was a lightness and a freedom in my spirit, and it came upon me by surprise, and I started pounding on the cell wall, like, Roy, wake up, wake up.
	I don't know what's going on with me.
	Can you pray with me?
	And he's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude, yeah.
	And you know, he's praying with me, and so I realized what was up, and you know, I turned my faith to to Christ.
	Again, the the idea of the gospel was not new to me, and even accepting the gospel wasn't new to me.
	But the difference is this time I was in a state where I was really in need of some redemption, okay.
	When I first received the gospel as a seven-year-old, there was nothing to redeem, okay?
	I had just developed a sense of right and wrong and a sense of accountability for my own actions.
	So I understood that, but see, now I was in a position where I had dug myself into a pit.
	I'd gotten myself into a really bad spot, and I needed a rebirth.
	Okay.
	I needed that redemption and rebirth in a way that I could have never understood as a kid.
	But I understood it then.
	When this happened, I was just like, ah, was like, this is the type of redemption.
	This is the type of transformation that is the specialty of Jesus Christ.
	And I think he's right about this.
	I think I need to turn to him.
	So that's what I did.
	And so every cell came equipped with a Gideon's edition of uh Pocket New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs included.
	If you don't know the Gideons, the Gideon's International, they're this organization, they go around and they put free Bibles in places.
	Definitely like jails and hotels would be a notable place.
	You can also find them in dentist's office sometimes, but you've probably seen them, okay?
	Just the for the free Bibles you'll find in places.
	That's distributed mostly by the Gideons.
	So each cell had a Gideon's New Testament, and so I started to read it.
	And I read it, and I picked it apart, and I spent all my time reading that book, and you know, before you know it, I mean, the way that I felt and thought about everything completely changed.
	And I found myself having a sense of joy and a sense of freedom, and I'm literally behind bars while this is happening.
	I'm feeling free and I'm feeling joyful, and I'm behind bars.
	Can you imagine?
	And you know, and so Roy would pray with me, and then some other men got moved into the cell block as well.
	And now look, they're rough and tumble guys, we're in jail, right?
	But they were men of faith.
	And So they came in there and they were happy to hear about my story.
	They were happy to hear about what was changing for me.
	And they were happy to hear that, like when I get out of here, I'm gonna go a better course.
	They were happy that I was gonna walk in a different way, that I was gonna lead a different kind of life where I wouldn't be like them when I got older.
	They were sincerely happy for my sake.
	And so we all prayed together and we would sing hymns together.
	And I actually had some of the most meaningful moments of my life during that time.
	It was unbelievable.
	It was after a couple more visitations with my dad that he was like, you know, you seem ready to go.
	You seem ready to come out of here.
	I I think you've probably learned something.
	And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, I'm good, I'm ready to go.
	And he's like, Alright, well, you know, I'll come back in a couple of days.
	He wanted to see how I take it, and uh, and then I'll send you out of here.
	And he's like, and we'll get you a haircut and some fresh clothes, and you know, we'll talk about the path forward.
	And I'm like, okay.
	So, you know, before long, I was let out, and I'm gonna tell you something.
	I mean, when I stepped out, I had never seen the sun look so bright, I had never seen the sky look so blue.
	It was unbelievable because for the whole month, yeah, it was a month that I was in that jail cell.
	You didn't ever see the sun.
	There was this one window at the end of the cell block, and it was translucent, so you could kind of vaguely see light pour in during the day, but you couldn't see anything out, you know.
	So there was no actually seeing the sun or the sky or anything.
	So stepping out, I was like being hit with the sights and sounds of nature, and it was like seeing it for the first time, I couldn't believe it.
	So to say that there was a sense of newness of life for me would be an understatement.
	There was a there was definitely that.
	Soon as I get home and settled, I call a few of my friends, I let them know what's up.
	One friend in particular had been the daughter of a pastor at a local church.
	Um, she had tried repeatedly to invite me to her church before over the months that she knew me.
	And you know, I always declined.
	I don't remember if it was so polite or not, but I would decline when she would offer.
	Uh did I did go one single time before to entertain her, to sort of amuse her.
	And when I went with her, I was just completely messed up on drugs, and I had no idea what was going on anyway.
	So when I tell her the news, when I tell her what's changing, and when I tell her that, you know, I really accepted the gospel, like in a way that I couldn't have when I was a kid.
	She was overjoyed, word spread quickly, and because I was known around town, everybody found out very fast, and the whole church there, they all found out very fast.
	So they start reaching out to me, and youth pastor, he reaches out to me as well.
	People pull me close, and they were trying to really be there for me during this this crucial time in my life where things were changing.
	And now things were still a pretty bad situation back home with my dad.
	I mean, he was up to no good.
	Just because I got out and changed and got off of these drugs didn't mean that he stopped what he was doing.
	Okay.
	So he pretty much stayed the course, and so it was still a pretty rocky and unstable environment for me.
	Still a pretty scary place to be a lot of times.
	And to make a long story short on that, I ended up contacting my mother and explaining to her the situation and just telling her, look, I want to start over.
	I need a fresh start, I need a clean start, and I want to build my life back up.
	And told her I wanted to come back home where things are clean and safe and peaceful, where I could gather myself, kind of continue recovering from having abused myself so intensely with all of these drugs to really just let myself breathe and think about what comes next.
	And she was overjoyed to have me come home.
	Before long, I had taken a one-way flight back home to live with them.
	So I had been living with my dad only for 13 months.
	It was the craziest 13 months of my entire life.
	And I've I've had a pretty wild life.
	Okay, I've had a very colorful journey in general, and that hasn't stopped.
	I mean, this like the whole shameless sperg project, for example.
	It's just yet another very colorful chapter in what's already been a very colorful life.
	But it was it was nice to get back, and it was nice to re-kindle a relationship with her, and it was nice to start moving in a better direction and to really take hold of faith and to really start digging into it, to really start praying, to start studying my Bible.
	I got involved with some local churches, um, some prayer groups and study groups, and I really tried to just get very active and keep myself engaged because I knew that I could get myself into a lot of trouble if I didn't, so I was very determined about it.
	Now, before long, the pastor of that church that I had mentioned before, he calls me and he's like, Hey Chris, you know, um, I'm really interested in having you come up and tell your story at the church.
	I'd like you to share your testimony.
	And um, I was like, Okay, I mean, it sounded like a really cool way to make things kind of come full circle.
	Like, let that be the final word on my time there that this happened and that I got this testimony, and so the plan was they're gonna have this huge Easter event, right?
	And it was it was a pretty good sized church as it was, but they knew they were gonna need to like rent out this big auditorium in order to accommodate the extra people that would be showing up because not only was it an Easter Sunday, it was like an extravaganza, okay, and they called it Transformation Sunday.
	That was the name that they gave for this event.
	In preparation, what we did was had me come up and sit with uh one of their guys and record my story, you know.
	I would tell him the story, and then he would go edit it, produce it, make it into a nice video.
	It was pretty cool.
	I'm not gonna lie.
	I mean, they even got the chance to do cool things, like we went to go visit the jail, for example, and got to take some pictures, like sitting behind the bars of the holding cell.
	And so I told my story.
	He did his little bit of editing and production work, and so it was ready to go.
	Um, the plan was that at this event there would be a big silver screen, like a big movie screen, you know, and they were going to project the recording of my testimony onto the screen to tell people the story, and then at the end of it, they were gonna have me step out from behind the silver screen with my violin and join the church band, and you know, play a little play a little song with them.
	We played um Mighty is the power of the cross.
	That's what we played because the people there were not going to know until that moment that I was actually present, you know.
	Up until then, they were just watching the video.
	They think this is just a video that they're sharing, very cool.
	So it was a surprise to them.
	It was a planned surprise for me to come out with my instrument, sort of just as a way of finishing out the testimony.
	It was a really powerful time, but you know, what really got to me was there were a couple of mothers who came to me um to express that my story had given them some hope, you know, that they had some trouble with their sons, and that they were hoping that they would clean their act up and turn to the Lord and so forth.
	And one mother in particular comes up to me and she wraps her arm around my neck, and she just starts to cry on my shoulder, and she tells me how now she has a little bit of hope because of because of the story, and that she believed because of my testimony that maybe it was possible that her wayward son would come back home and that he would clean up and then he would stop killing himself, and I'll just never forget it.
	I'll never forget her wrapping her arm around my neck and just crying on my shoulder.
	You know, I was uh I was maybe 18 or 19 at the time this took place, and it was heavy.
	And looking back, I mean I can still barely withstand the weight of how heavy it was, and it's always stuck with me ever since.
	And of course, one would like to say that after something like this, they'd never waver in their faith again, you know, that they would just stay the course forever after all.
	Look at this testimony, and it was a great testimony, and it is a great testimony.
	And you know, I'd like to say, yeah, I was forever faithful then.
	You know, I stood my ground and never wavered and never questioned, but none of that's true.
	But no, I I had my struggles with it, and I kind of was on and off with it for a while.
	I felt bad about that, but I couldn't help it.
	You know, I kept kind of running into problems, and people didn't want to provide me answers to the questions that I had, and I was getting really frustrated.
	I got derailed a couple of times.
	But at some point in my like mid-20s, I really buckled down and I started to take my faith very seriously, and I had a bunch of people prophesy over me, telling me how God was going to use me mightily to save souls and to expand his kingdom and to bring his gospel to others and to share my testimony as a source of inspiration to help raise up this generation in a very lost dark, evil, depraved time.
	And I mean, countless people said this stuff to me in different churches and different places in multiple states, people that knew me and people that didn't.
	I had strangers out of nowhere sometimes come up to me and say things like this to me.
	It was spooky.
	Okay, I had this stuff happen all the time.
	And it gets to you.
	Um, it didn't feed my ego.
	Like you would think it would give me a messiah complex or a god complex.
	Actually, it didn't, and I started to feel like, well, because look what this God has done for me, look at my testimony, I have to do this.
	I have to.
	And so I started to try to prepare for ministry.
	I was doing a whole lot of study, and I really put my nose to the grindstone.
	And I mean, I spent thousands of hours studying and praying and all of it.
	I took this stuff very seriously.
	It was everything to me.
	But at some point, just the wickedness of the world that caught up with me.
	Um, the anti-white character of things really caught up with me too, because nobody had warned me about that.
	I had been warned all my life about end-time stuff, I'd been warned about a new world order, I'd been warned about people being super anti-Christian and all of this stuff, but nobody'd ever said anything to me about anti-whiteness, that I was going to experience like society becoming increasingly hostile to me, uh just as a white man, that I would become increasingly hated just as a white man.
	Not nobody said any of this stuff to me.
	And so when it started to happen, I kind of felt like I had been sold a false bill of goods or something, like I hadn't been given the full story, like I had been hoodwinked or whatever, and it really had a horrible effect on my faith.
	It did.
	And the fact that just nobody seemed to be interested in answering my questions about it, it shipwrecked me.
	And so for a while I stepped away from the faith again.
	I kind of drifted back towards my paganism, because that tends to be like where I naturally default to.
	If I'm not walking this path, if I'm if my nose is not in the Bible, if I'm not following the scripture and praying, I tend to just default back to that.
	I find that's where just I naturally tend to drift.
	And then the world around us kept getting crazier and crazier, and my heart began to really harden about all of this about God, about Jesus Christ, about the Bible, about Christianity, about anything to do with it.
	My heart got very, very hard.
	And as things kept getting darker and more evil in this world, and things kept getting more and more hostile and insane.
	My heart got harder and harder, and I just got to where I was just consumed with anger and bitterness and despair.
	And um, I felt like I was just losing my mind, and that nobody was listening, you know, and one thing leads to the next, and shameless spirit is born.
	Okay, because I got tired of no one listening.
	I got tired of people not being willing to hear me, of people not being willing to answer questions, of people not being willing to listen to sense and reason.
	And when I'd point out things about race, for example, people just didn't want to people don't want to hear it, they didn't want to talk about it.
	They would just clam up and shut down.
	And I wasn't gonna have it, and I just couldn't take that, you know.
	And it dragged on for too long like that, and I felt like I was just gonna come completely unglued.
	And so instead of coming totally unglued, I just decided, you know what?
	Start ranting on camera, just get it out, vent, rant on camera, speak your mind.
	Maybe you'll be heard and understood.
	Even if it's just a handful of people, you'll be heard and understood.
	Finally, woe and behold, it's 75 days later, 52,250 subscribers, over three million views, and I was like, whoa, whoa, and that whole situation was just insane.
	And then the doxing happened, and then um, the harassment campaign against my family started, and all this stuff just got so ugly, and I just became more and more and more consumed with just feeling so bitter and angry,
	and I think justifiably, I think it's understandable and justifiable that I've had this rage, that I have been so disgusted, and I've had so much contempt and resentment and bitterness.
	All of it's understandable, but is it all good?
	That's the question.
	Is it all good?
	And you know, I do think that there's such a thing as righteous anger, righteous indignation, and uh righteous struggle.
	I I believe that to be the case, but you have to make sure that you're fighting the right fight, you know?
	And so somewhere along the way, I stopped being convinced that I was fighting the right fight.
	So, like I said earlier on in the video, explaining some of what happened with the chance encounters and with the coincidences, and with my daughter coming to me saying these strange things with people writing into me and praying for me and donating and all of this stuff, I could just feel them tapping on my shoulder.
	You know, I found myself feeling a sense of calling and conviction that I hadn't since I was in jail at 17 years old.
	And I started to feel a sense of relief and peace in my soul that I hadn't since I was in jail at 17 years old.
	The feeling was very clear to me.
	The sense of being called home was as pronounced to me as it had been when I was in that jail cell 20 years ago, and I couldn't ignore it.
	And so for everything that I've had to say about Christianity, and for all of my misgivings that I've shared with you about it, and even for all of my downright blasphemies, I found myself once again confronted with the person of Jesus Christ.
	I found myself having to give an answer.
	I found myself having to give an account all over again.
	And so a simple choice was put before me, and it rang as loudly and clearly in my soul as anything ever could.
	The choice was this.
	Am I going to fight against Jesus Christ or am I going to fight for Jesus Christ?
	Neutrality was never going to be an option.
	My life and everything in it was always leading to the point of taking a stand and making a bold declaration of sharing a message with the world.
	And I spent years feeling pulled in different directions, but always knowing that my life was about bringing a message.
	I just didn't know exactly what.
	I knew I had something to say, but it took me a long time to know what I was supposed to say.
	And about the time I felt sure enough, I started to record.
	And I started to put out some videos as a shameless sperm.
	But now, after all of these things, I had been left with one question.
	Has it been the right message?
	I'm not so sure anymore.
	You know, I'm not sorry for anything I've done or said.
	Um, I've spoken my mind, I've shared my thoughts and feelings truthfully.
	I'm not gonna feel bad about being honest, I'm not gonna feel bad about saying what I'm really thinking and feeling.
	So I don't regret that.
	Since I've always been about sharing my honest thoughts and feelings, no matter how anybody's gonna feel about it, I have to do the same now.
	You know, since I insist on this honesty and truthfulness, I have to honestly confess to you that I have to live for Jesus Christ.
	I have to.
	There's no other way for me.
	That in fact was always the message that I was intended to carry.
	All those people that laid hands on me over the years and prophesied over me that I was supposed to go forth and carry a message, those guys were right.
	And I knew that I was going to carry a message eventually.
	The question was which message?
	You know, I've spent the better part of my life feeling like I was the rope in a game of tug of war.
	That I felt like that there were contending forces that wanted me to go and be their ambassador, wanted me to go forth and carry this message.
	The feeling's always been very palpable, and I suppose it's a feeling that remains to this very day, and so that's why I say all of this to you now.
	Is that as foolish as it may sound to some of you, as crazy as it may sound to some of you?
	I've made my decision that I have to live for Jesus Christ.
	I have to work for him, I have to fight for him.
	I have to take my efforts and my talents and use them for him.
	Really, I should have been doing that all along.
	You know, all those countless people that prophesied over me, telling me that I would go on to do great things for the Lord, that I would go on to carry his message, that I would go on to use my testimony to further his kingdom and to save souls.
	I had so many people tell me this.
	Somehow I just ignored it somewhere along the way.
	And then about the time I decided to stand behind uh a virtual pulpit, if you will, a whole bunch of people showed up, but I don't think that that's the message that I was intended to carry to the world.
	I mean, I don't disavow everything I said.
	Look, matters of race are real, these things are a problem, okay?
	I do believe nations should be separate.
	I do believe that races should be separate.
	I don't think a diversified nation is a good thing, okay?
	I don't think globalism is good.
	I don't think everybody being all jumbled up and mixed up is a good thing.
	So that doesn't change at all for me.
	But I cannot keep Myself constantly stewing in resentment and bitterness and anger and hatred and all of that stuff, no matter how justifiable all of it really is.
	And it is incredibly justifiable.
	Nevertheless, is that the spirit in which I am to be living?
	Is that the spirit in which I am to be carrying myself and conducting myself?
	Is that the spirit through which I am to be delivering a message?
	I don't think so anymore.
	And because of that, I've been unable to make my usual type of videos.
	I don't have it in me anymore.
	Because I've come under this conviction that I need to stand for Jesus Christ and that I need to represent his message and that I need to carry that to the people that will listen.
	And I don't know who will listen.
	You might think I'm crazy and you might think I'm foolish for it.
	But things were not well with my soul.
	And right now, things are well with my soul.
	And that speaks to me louder than anything.
	There's no persuading me out of what I know firsthand, out of what I'm living firsthand.
	And so since I have chosen to take that stand, and since I insist on truthfulness and honesty and transparency, I of course have to come and tell you these things.
	I have to tell you that this is what I'm doing.
	This is where I'm going.
	And I expect it all lose most, if not all of my following.
	And that's okay.
	I have to be honest.
	That's what it's always been about.
	Just being honest.
	You know, take it or leave it.
	It's like I said in so many videos before, hey man, I'm just being honest.
	Take it or leave it, love it or hate it.
	I'm just saying it like it is.
	I'm just saying it like I think it like I feel it, like I live it.
	And I share that with you.
	And if it speaks to you, great.
	And if you resonate with it, great.
	If it helps you, awesome.
	And if you don't like it, then just you know, scroll on, scroll by.
	And so if there's one thing I'm sorry for, I guess it's that um, you know, I've disappointed some people, I think that maybe prompt me up as some sort of leader or hero.
	I'm I'm neither.
	I'm just a guy, sharing his thoughts.
	I'm just a guy that got on camera that just started to press record and spill it.
	Just, you know, here's here's what's on my mind, just give you a big brain dump.
	That's all this has ever been.
	And so that's what it still is.
	It's a brain dump.
	And this is where I'm at.
	And that's the decision that I've made, the direction that I have to go in, and the work that's put before me, the fight that I have to fight, and who I am actually here to represent and to fight for, and that's Jesus Christ.
	I have to, because I don't believe anymore that you can build anything without him as the foundation and expect for it to prosper and last.
	I don't believe you can.
	And you know, do it.
	Do I give all the credit to our achievements as white people to the religion that we've believed in, to faith in Jesus Christ?
	No.
	We have a sort of inherent natural greatness, I believe, but I believe it's a combination of the sort of innate talents that we have as a people, and the fact that most of our people have been very faithful to this over many centuries.
	Our people have had more to do with the spread of this book than anyone else in the world, and I believe that we've been blessed for it.
	And so while I don't credit, you know, the faith for everything we've accomplished, uh, certainly not, I do believe that part of what made it work, part of what allowed it to prosper, was that we were blessed, we were blessed because of our service, because of what we did for him.
	And I think that since we have largely forgotten him, and since we have largely walked away from him, and since we have frankly let things go to shit so bad, I think we're losing our blessing.
	Because here's the thing, white people are still here, and I still believe we have those inborn innate talents of ours.
	I still think we're capable of excellence, and yet what are we doing?
	You know?
	Are we excellent right now?
	And I'm just thinking, I'm thinking that if we took our natural innate talents that we have as a people, and we brought we breathe some life back into our people with a bit of faith, maybe we might actually get somewhere again.
	Maybe we might actually get some of that blessing that we got so used to for centuries, and that I think that we have taken for granted.
	I do, I think we've taken it for granted.
	I think we've gotten to where we think, yeah, we never needed that.
	That was all just yeah, I used to think that too.
	I don't think that anymore.
	I think we suffer for every bit of distance that we have had between ourselves and our God, Jesus Christ, our Lord.
	I think that we suffer for it, And I think that our societies suffer for it.
	And I know that I personally suffer for it.
	Distance from this Lord.
	Distance from Jesus Christ.
	I suffer for it, and I think we all have.
	And I think we would do a whole lot better if we would repent and turn back to him and to be faithful to him once again.
	And I think that he could take us as a people, our talents, our innate gifts, and breathe life back into them with blessing.
	But if we're gonna forget God, and if we're gonna reject him, if we're gonna fight against him, if we're gonna scorn and despise him, I think we can expect to lose the last of what we have.
	I don't believe that there is any hope outside of Jesus Christ.
	I don't believe our future has any hope without him.
	I don't.
	And I think until we realize that, we're just gonna keep on spiraling off into oblivion.
	And I think our enemies who are the most disgraceful, disgusting people the world is ever shot out, I think that they're gonna keep getting the upper hand on us.
	As evil continues to be called good and good continues to be called evil, and the lie is upheld above all, and the truth is despised.
	I think we can expect more and more of it.
	And I don't think earthly solutions alone are gonna get us out of it.
	I'm not saying just sit around and pray and do nothing.
	Some people can really take that too far, okay.
	We do have to take action.
	But we're not gonna do it without him, man.
	We're just not.
	I don't believe we are, and I mean you can try, but I I believe at this point that we labor in vain if we do.
	We try to build something out of just flesh and blood, and we don't build it with him as the foundation.
	I think it's in vain.
	I think we labor in vain, and that whatever we devise to do without him will not prosper, it will not last.
	I do not believe it.
	No matter how much we want it to, I don't believe it.
	And we can point to some time in the ancient past where the pagan world really had it all together.
	I'm gonna tell you something though.
	When he came around, you can call it a conspiracy if you want.
	I used to call it that.
	But I think that when Jesus Christ came into this world, everything changed, including our ability to build ourselves up to heights of majesty without him.
	I think he disrupted all of that, and I think that without him we have no hope.
	And he changed everything, and you can love it or hate it, but there's no getting around it, and there's no getting rid of him.
	And every bit of effort that we put into trying to fight against him just makes him grow, and every time we try to stamp out the church, it just grows larger, and every time we try to fight against him, he fights back harder.
	We are not gonna defeat him.
	I believe Jesus Christ cannot be conquered, and we need him, we need him collectively, and we need him individually.
	And so if you don't know him, I want you to, and so I'm just gonna share one little piece of scripture with you.
	And if I were sitting down with you, I'd share a whole lot more, and I'll probably make some future videos for those of you that still want to listen in.
	And I'm probably gonna start just a side project where I start to talk about these things, and I share more of the scripture, and I share more of my findings, and to round out this particular video, I want to share with you just a short little bit of scripture.
	This comes from 1 Corinthians chapter 15 verses 1 through 4.
	First Corinthians chapter 15 verses 1 through 4.
	It's just a summary of the gospel.
	Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand, by which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.
	For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures, and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures.
	So that's the gospel.
	In short, that he died, was buried, and arose again in three days, and that his blood is necessary to cover for sin, to cleanse sin, that there is really no communing with God without it.
	We have to have him, we have to, on an on an individual level and on a collective level.
	And like I said, I I don't think that there is any hope outside of him.
	I just don't.
	I used to think maybe, maybe there was, maybe there was a way to build a future without him.
	No, there's not.
	It's in vain.
	It is in vain, and so I implore you, whoever you are, to consider it.
	Like Roy said to me in the jail cell when I was 17 years old.
	Just think about what I've said.
	You know.
	Maybe you feel annoyed like I felt.
	Oh great.
	Preachy guy.
	Preachy guy.
	And if you do feel annoyed, fair enough.
	Hey, you know, you came from one thing and you're getting another.
	I'm sure that some people are not gonna be happy about that.
	Like I said, I I'm I know I'm gonna lose some friends.
	I know I'm gonna lose some followers.
	Okay.
	I'm just being honest, man, and I have to be real with you.
	You know, because if I didn't come out and tell you this, if I didn't come out and say this, then I would be the biggest grifter of all.
	I would be a grifter in the purest possible sense.
	If I didn't just come out and be forthright and just say this, how it is, and not hold back.
	And so, yeah, maybe some of you are annoyed, maybe uh a couple of you are rolling your eyes saying, Oh, great, preachy, whatever.
	Look, I felt that way too, man.
	Sitting in that jail cell, having that dude tell me that the only way to live is in the Lord.
	But I'm gonna tell you, I'm telling you, the only way to live is in the Lord.
	And if you're irritated, fine.
	But just like Roy said to me in that jail cell, just think about what I've said.
	And if you don't know him, get to know him.
	It's worth it.
	I promise.
	You'll never have a better friend.
	And if you come to know him, you'll receive his spirit, the Holy Spirit inside of you, and that will change you.
	It will change your heart, it will change who you are, and you'll know it in a way that nobody else could know it.
	You'll know it in a way that you couldn't put into words, and you will know that you will never be the same.
	And no matter how hard you try to run to be like who you were before, you never will be able to.
	Not really.
	Because to truly come to him and to receive him, you're born again.
	And if you're born again, you're never the same.
	Yeah, the old man is still there, and you can still manifest a lot of the same behaviors, good or bad, but you'll never feel the same way about it again.
	You'll never look at yourself the same way again.
	You'll never look at the world the same way again.
	By receiving Jesus Christ and receiving his Holy Spirit, everything changes.
	And it's it's a change for the best, I think.
	And so I implore you to turn to him.
	Call out to him.
	Ask that he forgive your sin.
	You know, ask, ask for your sins to be covered and cleansed by his blood.
	Call out to him, place your faith in him.
	And it may sound silly and it may sound foolish, but just listen to this bit of scripture before I leave you.
	This comes from 1 Corinthians chapter 1.
	I'm gonna start here at verse 18.
	For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness, but unto us which are saved, it is the power of God.
	For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.
	Where is the wise?
	Where is the scribe?
	Where is the disputer of this world?
	Hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?
	For after that in the wisdom of God, the world by wisdom knew not God.
	It pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe.
	Foolishness of preaching.
	Later on in the same chapter, first Corinthians chapter 1, verse 25.
	Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
	For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble are called.
	But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise, and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty, and base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to naught things that are,
	that no flesh shall glory in his presence, but of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom and righteousness and sanctification and redemption, that according as it is written, he that gloryeth, let him glory in the Lord.

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