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| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| I don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more Give me the wide shot Let me get a wide shot. | |
| There we go. | |
| February 12th. | |
| And we're going to be following that. | |
| And I'm going to be talking to people who are going to be attending that. | |
| And we're going to try to get some of the representatives in the subcommittee on the show. | |
| 2.7 trillion is what they're saying of your taxpayer dollars in improper government payments. | |
| Trillion. | |
| Trillion. | |
| So this is all going to come out in the subcommittee meeting. | |
| And this is just the beginning. | |
| Now here is a school. | |
| Go ahead and roll clip four here, guys. | |
| You want to see where your money is going in Pakistan for these schools? | |
| Tell me, would you send your kids to this school in clip four? | |
| Nice. | |
| The bombed out building. | |
| Covered in dust and soot. | |
| Wow. | |
| Really nice. | |
| Billions of dollars. | |
| This was 159 million for this school right here. | |
| Nobody can attend that school. | |
| So there you go. | |
| There's where your money is going. | |
| Now, we got more from Trump, but there's a bit of an elephant in the room right now. | |
| Look, I just want to come in here and say, good job on the show here. | |
| Say, everybody, you guys, the crew back there, just your clips alone, we got like 60 million views yesterday on X. See? | |
| Oh, we're just beginning, Alex. | |
| Hey, now, but separately, I forgot to play that clip you were just playing today. | |
| Which, the school? | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| A hundred and something million. | |
| At least they built something there with the 50 million of condoms. | |
| Nothing was even there. | |
| It's all criminal fraud. | |
| They all need to go to prison. | |
| I don't see how they recover from this. | |
| Sorry. | |
| They were having me tease you in there. | |
| Their idea. | |
| Are you blaming the crew? | |
| On the screen. | |
| And you just didn't see all the stupid stuff I was doing. | |
| No, I saw it. | |
| I'm a trained professional, Alex. | |
| Oh, you did? | |
| Okay. | |
| I'm a trained professional. | |
| I saw your antlers and everything else. | |
| I see everything around here. | |
| What do you think all these screens are doing here? | |
| Also, you'll do a Hulk Hogan. | |
| I might have missed the Hulk Hogan, actually. | |
| I might have missed that one. | |
| Or if I do that, I'm a Satanist. | |
| Could you grow a Hulk Hogan hair style? | |
| I could grow a mullet, yeah. | |
| It still grows on the sides. | |
| I even have some on the top. | |
| I just get tired of messing with it. | |
| You should be Hulk Hogan for Halloween, actually. | |
| You could pull that off. | |
| I don't know. | |
| I'm a little compared to him. | |
| Yeah, but you could do the look, dye your mullet blonde. | |
| He's called in on the show before. | |
| You can do the voice for sure. | |
| Anyways, I'm going to leave now. | |
| I'm sorry I interrupted. | |
| This is the old school stuff coming back. | |
| Do you feel good, Alex? | |
| How do you feel right now? | |
| Good. | |
| I'm going to put my... | |
| That's actually a real photo. | |
| See, he wears a toupee. | |
| I don't. | |
| It's true. | |
| Look how fat I was. | |
| Man, that must have been... | |
| Four or five years ago there on the board. | |
| I actually think with the computer they added weight in that photo. | |
| I've never been that bad. | |
| You look like John Goodman actually in that photo. | |
| I was getting really fat, man. | |
| Alright, I'm leaving. | |
| You're not a clone? | |
| I'm going to put my sport jacket back on and I got to cut some stuff too. | |
| But listen, I'm going to leave you back to the show. | |
| Good job with the crew. | |
| They are doing a great job. | |
| They really are. | |
| I think you should just stick with the new Oval Office thing. | |
| I like the Oval Office. | |
| This is the ultimate fear of the left. | |
| And I don't know. | |
| Maybe you'll be in the Oval Office soon. | |
| I don't know. | |
| Maybe. | |
| I can go if I want. | |
| I'm invited. | |
| Yeah. | |
| You know, it's such a weird political culture. | |
| It's just like, it's not really our style, you know? | |
| I'm really into just... | |
| Here's the problem. | |
| We're over the target right now digitally reaching hundreds of millions of people a day. | |
| More than ever. | |
| And the time spent going up there gets me out of the gun seat. | |
| I mean, I'm not going to, you know... | |
| Yeah, no, I hear you. | |
| And it's, you know, the schmoozing and the, you know, it's just... | |
| It's not really our style. | |
| Now, there was some pussy up on top of that obstacle, but we can get up on top of it. | |
| We like wearing jeans and shirts. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And ripping them off and screaming, I don't know. | |
| Hell yeah, brother. | |
| I mean, the whole point is that... | |
| I don't know. | |
| I mean, I don't mind it all. | |
| I'd rather just influence everything and defeat the enemy. | |
| You know what I mean? | |
| Though I was a little envious seeing Tucker and Elon with Trump wearing the silly hats. | |
| By the way, we were going to sell some of those in the store, and Chase asked me if I wanted to sell them, and I think I said yes. | |
| So we need to get those. | |
| Here, I think we got one right back there. | |
| And the reason I keep begging for money all the time... | |
| Hey, bring him a hat. | |
| Is that we literally had the Democrats. | |
| We've almost beaten the Democrats. | |
| We were doing this before it was cool. | |
| We had this a long time ago, didn't we? | |
| Yeah, I have had that since like 2017 probably back here. | |
| Yeah, so they're acting like this is something new. | |
| That's actually bigger, by the way, than the ones they have on. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And you have a... | |
| Ours is much bigger, first of all. | |
| But your head is a lot bigger, too. | |
| Remember the famous thing I said, I'm not saying Trump's sucking the ding-dong. | |
| Yeah, I remember. | |
| I was sitting right here. | |
| It became a meme, actually. | |
| That was good. | |
| There you go. | |
| We could sell these hats. | |
| My point was, they can't blackmail Trump. | |
| We do a whole modeling show with these things. | |
| Actually, yeah, we got like a runway. | |
| Yeah. | |
| There you go. | |
| Do we have any... | |
| I wonder if we can cue up some music here. | |
| No, no, no, but we don't have the hats for sale yet, so we gotta wait. | |
| This is a practice run. | |
| We just gotta get me, like, you know, walking around. | |
| The hat's a little morphed. | |
| It's been here for a while. | |
| It's kind of, you know, it's like a seven-year-old hat. | |
| While you do your serious news, I'll just do this. | |
| Let me see if there's something that fits the occasion here. | |
| Oh, here we go. | |
| There we go. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| Have you ever seen Night at the Roxbury, Alex? | |
| Do you know the Night at the Roxbury dance by any chance? | |
| You just do the head. | |
| You just go like this. | |
| Go like that. | |
| Oh, you had it. | |
| No, no, no, you had it. | |
| You had it. | |
| Just go like this. | |
| Yeah, there it is. | |
| Go! | |
| You can't hear the music. | |
| Hold on, hold on. | |
| There we go. | |
| Get Alex with the Night at the Roxbury. | |
| There you go. | |
| You've never seen Night at the Roxbury, Alex? | |
| You can watch that this weekend with your kids. | |
| You'll love it. | |
| I am stealing your hat. | |
| No. | |
| We need that hat. | |
| I want to replace that. | |
| We gotta start. | |
| I would actually wear this right now. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Wear it down on 60. | |
| Oh I think people will love it, actually, is what I think. | |
| Give me the wide shot. | |
| Let me get a wide shot. | |
| There we go. | |
| And now he's heading to Mar-a-Lago. | |
| He's going to wear the giant foam hat on the airplane right to Mar-a-Lago. | |
| And then Trump's going to head to the Super Bowl. | |
| There we go. | |
| There we go. | |
| There it is. | |
| All right, well, I've got witnesses and an admission when I see you in civil court, Alex. | |
| Because that hat could be worth trillions. | |
| That could be worth trillions. | |
| Alright, what's next? | |
| What's next around here? | |
| Hey! | |
| Where's the old clown we used to have? | |
| Bozo? | |
| Yeah. | |
| They say it's in the other studio. | |
| Really? | |
| Bozo's in the other studio, they're telling me. | |
| That was also stolen from me. | |
| I don't like going inside Jen Psaki. | |
| That's for the MSNBC viewing audience. | |
| Yeah, well, I got a guest coming up in 10 minutes. | |
| I do have a lot of clips to put out. | |
| I got a lot of news to cover. | |
| Hold on. | |
| Anything like that will never happen again. | |
| I mean, this is not even... | |
| There's no way. | |
| Does that count? | |
| I have to throw the hat on to you. | |
| There it is. | |
| Look at that. | |
| That's formerly Jen Psaki. | |
| I wonder if Jen Psaki's contract is subsidized by USAID. | |
| I don't think she would, though. | |
| I Trying to do surgery here. | |
| I thought Bozo might have been flattened. | |
| Oh, my gosh. | |
| What is going on here? | |
| All right. | |
| What do you... | |
| I'm going to leave you alone. | |
| I'm going. | |
| What do you call this segment, guys? | |
| No. | |
| You put this out, Jen Psaki officially endorses Trump. | |
| It's true! | |
| Jen Psaki. | |
| Our fact checkers say this is really Jen Psaki. | |
| Jen Psaki puts on MAGA hat on InfoWars. | |
| Yeah, that's it. | |
| Jen Psaki. | |
| Jen Psaki officially joins Trump. | |
| Takes her mask off. | |
| She's taken the COVID mask off. | |
| And she is now wearing the MAGA hat. | |
| There you go. | |
| There you go. | |
| That's Roger Stone in Florida there. | |
| We're about to go to Florida coming up with our next guest, by the way. | |
| There you go. | |
| There's your behind the scenes right there. | |
| Who knows what's going to happen? | |
| Folks, I'm not funded by any big corporations or anybody. | |
| I am funded by viewers and listeners because over the years, they would target our sponsors and threaten them and take them away. | |
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