| 
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| *Music* Now that rapping about murdering his girlfriend and calling people fags doesn't sell as many records, Eminem has devised a fresh, original... | |
| Truly original way to resonate with his audience. | |
| Call Donald Trump a racist! | |
| Racism's the only thing he's fantastic for! | |
| So edgy! | |
| Literally no other celebrity has said that about Trump. | |
| Trump, the same guy that the hip-hop community adored for decades. | |
| Oh, don't take my word for it. | |
| Here's the Huffington Post explaining how, before 2015, Trump was praised in no less than 67 major hip-hop songs. | |
| Rappers love Donald Trump. | |
| Split switches with my thumb Get money like Donald Trump I might pull a rack and get wretched But I be Donald Trump in these hoes But as soon as Trump started taking on the Democratic establishment, he suddenly became a racist and rappers started attacking him. | |
| Isn't that an amazing coincidence? | |
| But wait, let's give Eminem a chance. | |
| He's a great lyricist. | |
| Surely he's gonna bring something new, something different, something captivating. | |
| Surely he's not just gonna call Donald Trump orange. | |
| He's orange. | |
| Orange. | |
| This racist 94 year old grandpa. | |
| Yeah, maybe you should check into Trump's racist past, Marshall, because he probably hung around with even more black people than you did. | |
| The Clintons destroyed black families. | |
| Super predators. | |
| While Trump at least has a plan to rebuild the inner cities, including your hometown of Detroit. | |
| Oh, but Trump's the racist. | |
| But we better give Obama props, because what we got in office now is a kamikaze that'll probably cause a nuclear holocaust. | |
| No, Marshall, the person who wanted a nuclear holocaust... | |
| I want the Iranians to know that if I'm the president, we will attack Iran. | |
| You know, the person you cussed out 18 years ago. | |
| When you were actually relevant. | |
| You know, the 90s, when you were somewhat counterculture. | |
| Unlike now, when you couldn't have your tongue more firmly jammed up the ass of the establishment. | |
| Oh, I'm sorry, Eminem's leading the resistance. | |
| That's why every corporate media outlet is creaming their pants over his tantrum. | |
| What exactly are you resisting? | |
| The Democratic establishment hates Trump. | |
| The Republican establishment hates Trump. | |
| The media hates Trump. | |
| Academia hates Trump. | |
| Hollywood hates Trump. | |
| The TV industry. | |
| Hey, it's Trump. | |
| Oh, but you're so controversial for pushing the very same talking points that they do and then being rewarded for it by those very same industries. | |
| So brave. | |
| You can't be the dominant culture and the counterculture at the same time. | |
| That's not how it works. | |
| And you want to give Obama props. | |
| We better give Obama props. | |
| Yeah, where was your anti-war rage when Obama was simultaneously bombing seven different countries? | |
| I guess criticising a black president just doesn't make sense. | |
| It makes commercial sense, does it? | |
| But I'm sure that Eminem's rage is all spontaneous, heartfelt. | |
| And genuine. | |
| I'm sure it has nothing whatsoever to do with him having a record coming out soon. | |
| I mean, it's not like he's literally got a new album coming out next month, is it? | |
| Oh, look! | |
| He does! | |
| Well, imagine my shock. | |
| Eminem, you're not edgy. | |
| You're not counterculture. | |
| You're a 44-year-old has-been who's completely run out of creative ideas. | |
| Your recent albums were panned by the critics, so now you're trying to ingratiate yourself by glomming onto the fake anti-Trump resistance. | |
| By resorting to the most cringeworthy, unoriginal, boring, virtue-signalling crap imaginable. | |
| What a total f***ing sellout. | |
| You made your name by lampooning mindless, safe, Dull pop culture. | |
| Now you're genuflecting in a desperate effort to become a central part of that same vapid pop culture. | |
| How pathetically sad. | |
| You can hang out in as many multi-story car parks as you like. | |
| Not gonna change the fact that you're a cumbucket for the corporate machine. | |
| You've got the nerve to stand there with your 200 million dollar net worth and claim to be some kind of voice of the people while putting on a fake southern accent to smear millions of ordinary... | |
| He's gonna get rid of all immigrants! | |
| Who voted for Trump because eight years of Obama's economic hate crimes left them dead broke. | |
| He's gonna get rid of all immigrants! | |
| Fuck you, you little prick! | |
| That's an awfully hot coffee pot. | |
| Should I drop it on Donald Trump? | |
| Probably not. | |
| That's an awfully hot coffee pot. | |
| Should I drop it on Donald Trump? | |
| Probably not. | |
| Kids, that's just objectively terrible. | |
| That's bad. | |
| I mean, go back to being a drug addict if it helps. | |
| Do something, Eminem, because this is just f***ing painful. | |
| When your lyrics sound like they were written by Keith Olbermann, it's probably time to retire. | |
| Scum! | |
| We love our military. | |
| Don't try and hide behind the military to give your temper tantrum some kind of moral backing. | |
| In the key swing states, the military voted 2-1 for Trump. | |
| Oh, and your little Colin Kaepernick shout-out. | |
| This is for Colin! | |
| Ball up a fist! | |
| You know the guy, the one who literally supports communist dictators. | |
| Yeah, that's not really going to go down well with the US military either, is it? | |
| You stupid moron. | |
| And any fan of mine who's a supporter of his, I'm drawing in the sand a line. | |
| Yeah, you drew a line in the sand years ago, Marshall. | |
| A line that said, I'm no longer authentic, daring, or counterculture. | |
| I'm a washed-up, whiny, middle-aged cock holster to be used as a political mouthpiece for the establishment. | |
| Because my balls have shrunk so much, they've literally retreated back into my lower abdomen. | |
| That was your line in the sand, Eminem. | |
| And there's no going back. | |
| Hey, Trump! |
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