| 
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| Miley Cyrus, pre-election. | |
| Honestly, fuck this shit. | |
| I am moving if this is my president. | |
| I don't say things I don't mean. | |
| Apparently you do say things you don't mean, Miley, because you're still here subjecting everyone to the audible cancer that is your pop music. | |
| Asked why she hasn't left America, Miley told the NME. I didn't leave the country. | |
| I'm not fucking leaving the country. | |
| That's some ignorant shit. | |
| That's dumb. | |
| No, Miley. | |
| The only dumb, ignorant shit is what spills out of your mouth. | |
| Every time you open it, we all know that your threat to leave the country was about as genuine as those of Lena Dunham, Amy Schumer, and all the other vapid virtue-signalling celebtards. | |
| This is the woman who wrote a song dedicated to Hillary Clinton, wait for it, called Inspired. | |
| Who the hell would Hillary Clinton inspire? | |
| Foreign dictators, maybe? | |
| Sociopaths? | |
| Inspired to do what? | |
| Cackle about bombing countries? | |
| Starting a nuclear war with Iran? | |
| I want the Iranians to know that if I'm the president... | |
| We will attack Iran. | |
| Have your campaign bankrolled by countries that kill gays and stone women to death? | |
| So inspiring. | |
| And trust me, I hear every day on my Instagram, just leave already, when are you gonna leave? | |
| Keep those comments rolling in. | |
| Does it really matter where I am? | |
| Because wherever I am, my fucking voice is gonna be heard, and I'll make sure of it! | |
| Alright, Jesus Christ. | |
| But it's pretty hard to hear what you're saying, since most of the time, you're blubbering incoherently. | |
| She deserves to be the first female president. | |
| And that's what makes me so sad. | |
| Speaking about her Wrecking Ball video in which she swings around butt naked, Miley said, I think people look at things they've done and there's this sense of shame, or I wish I wouldn't have done that. | |
| Yeah, I'd be less concerned about Wrecking Ball and more concerned about why you were walking around on stage in front of your pre-teen fans wearing a giant dildo. | |
| But Cyrus has no regrets about appearing naked. | |
| She's moved on and is now in a deeper songwriting place. | |
| Really? | |
| Let's do a lyrical analysis of her two most recent singles, Malibu. | |
| But here I am. | |
| Next to you. | |
| The sky's so blue in Malibu. | |
| Next to you. | |
| Next to you. | |
| The sky's so blue in Malibu. | |
| Next to you. | |
| So deep, Miley. | |
| So deep. | |
| Younger now. | |
| What goes up must come down. | |
| What goes up must come down. | |
| What goes up... | |
| Must come down, yeah. | |
| No one stays the same, oh-oh. | |
| You know what goes, comes back around, oh-oh. | |
| Change is a thing you can count on, oh-oh. | |
| I feel so much younger now, oh-oh. | |
| I don't know about you, but my head is spinning from the sheer complexity and labyrinthian depth of those words. | |
| Yeah, in comparison, those two songs make the lyrics of Wrecking Ball read like a frigging Shakespeare play. | |
| You know why Younger Now is really about ageism and sexism too, because I feel as women get older it's so hard. | |
| Madonna? | |
| Grace? | |
| Really? | |
| Yes! | |
| I have thought an awful lot about blowing up the White House. | |
| Blowing up the White House. | |
| So graceful, so basically after allowing herself to be rebranded as a complete skank... | |
| To sell records. | |
| Being almost single-handedly to blame for popularising twerking amongst 13-year-old girls. | |
| And miming sex acts on stage with Robin Thicke. | |
| Miley's trying to get back to her wholesome image. | |
| Yeah, that train left the station a long time ago. | |
| Listen, we all know the music industry's a charade. | |
| That the uniforms on these pop princess marionettes need to be switched from time to time to keep the audience's gawping attention. | |
| Because you don't actually have any originality whatsoever, and most of your songs are written... | |
| by the same people who write the rest of the dross that we're subjected to. | |
| And that would be easier to swallow if you just stopped pretending it was some kind of meaningful life change. | |
| It isn't. | |
| People got bored of your previous incarnation as a skank, and now you have to rebrand it to stay relevant. | |
| We get it. | |
| But you don't have the moral high ground when you whine and bitch about people tearing down graceful and inspiring women like Madonna and Hillary Clinton. | |
| You're a terrible example to young women. | |
| Parents in a poll voted you a worse role model for girls than even Nicki Minaj. | |
| Miley was even voted the worst role model for teenage girls. | |
| By teenage girls themselves. | |
| Experts say Miley's angel-to-skank transformation was incredibly confusing and harmful to impressionable young fans. | |
| So Miley, please stop with the Beyonce-style corporate feminism. | |
| We know it's a complete fraud. | |
| Just like your threat to leave the country which had about as much substance as your insipid vacuous political opinions Please click the big red button to subscribe It really helps me when you do that. |
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