Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux - Achieve Your Freaking Potential! Twitter/X Space

Aug. 23, 2025 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

02:15:01

Achieve Your Freaking Potential! Twitter/X Space

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	All right, good evening.
	Welcome to Friday Night.
	It's Friday.
	Friday night, 22 August 2015.
	We have a caller right away.
	No further ado.
	Observer, if you want to unmute, I'm all ears.
	What's on your mind, my friend?
	Hey, Stefan.
	I just kind of was wondering if you could expound on a tweet you made yesterday about how, um, I think I get the point you're coming from, but I was wondering more if that was your own observation or your observation of other people's feelings.
	Well, I said population normalization.
	So I'm thinking in particular, of course, in America, where I think the Trump administration is now reviewing 55 million visas.
	And if Anne Coulter's estimates are right from her book, I think from 2016, Adios America, then 30 million, 40 million could be as high as 50 million illegals are in the United States, which means that, you know, one out of three people, one out of four.
	people depending on how you measure it and how far you go is not a native and of course a lot of people overstaying the visas so it's really really important i think and i'm sorry to start off so pompously but it seems to be second nature but it's really really important to recognize how much of the economy is absolute these days does not exist a complete fantasy.
	I'm not talking about that cliché daycare for women stuff.
	I'm talking about how the entire economy is based upon debt, real estate and largely frivolous spending.
	So if you want the economy to be very active in the here and now, which is good for people in the present, not so good for people in the future, right?
	It's consume now versus consume later.
	If you're one of the ice people in sort of northern Siberia and northern Europe, you've got a whole big ass winter to get through.
	You can get pretty fat from, let's say, October to November, and then you're going to starve to death by February or March.
	So you can feed now at the expense of the future.
	Like you can borrow now and you can go on a spending spree.
	And then what happens is you end up with less money down the road, which causes you to tighten your belt sometimes to the point where it turns into kind of a noose.
	So the economy requires real estate prices to always go up, and it requires frivolous spending, and it requires a mountain of debt.
	So when you understand that there's this giant hamster wheel that has to keep going faster and faster in order for the pretense of the economy as is to sustain itself, a lot of stuff starts to make sense.
	So a boomers can't handle reduction in their real estate because boomers traded away their freedoms and the integrity of their countries in return for money and that money is usually in the form of, I mean, obviously pensions for which there's no money, you're just taxing the young and also it is real estate.
	Now the boomers themselves did not have as many children.
	Almost a third of my generation was aborted.
	And so normally the way things work is when you have a baby boom as was the case after the Second World War, you build a whole bunch of infrastructure, you build a whole bunch of schools and hospitals and roads and houses and all this kind of stuff.
	And then what happens is there's a baby bust relative to the baby boom and that means that stuff becomes dirt cheap.
	I mean, the birth rate problem is largely because real estate prices are not allowed to fall and people aren't allowed to be broke anymore.
	They're not allowed to, like, they're bribed with increasing real estate.
	Increasing real estate means mass migration.
	You have to have people come flooding into the country to keep the price of real estate high.
	And if the price of real estate goes down, which is necessary for the next generation to have kids, then the boomers will You know, they'll go ape shit and they'll vote out and probably lynch whoever allows the real estate prices to go down.
	Of course, we saw in 2007, 2008 what happens when there's a correction in a boom.
	So you have to have a whole bunch of people with short-term spending for the economy as it currently stands to work.
	And so another thing that you do is you bring a bunch of people in from other cultures, or it doesn't even matter if they're from other cultures fundamentally, you give people a bunch of welfare.
	And people on welfare tend to spend their money on kind of frivolous things.
	You know, this is sort of the cliche when I worked up north that every town was the same layout, right?
	You got your post office, you got your bank, and then you got your convenience store.
	So you go to your post office, you pick up your welfare check, you go and cash it at the bank, and then you go pick up your drinks and smokes at the convenience store.
	Like it's boom, boom, boom every single time.
	And if you're around.
	poor neighborhoods you can see the way that they spend based upon the stores that are there, right?
	You got a bunch of nail stores, a bunch of hair stores, a bunch of liquor stores and not a not a whole bunch of learning annex places.
	So taking money from smarter people who tend to save and invest and giving it to often less smart people who tend to spend a lot or to women, which is I'm not saying women are less smart, but women tend to consume much more in the here and now.
	Women spend more.
	Women get into debt more.
	90, 85, 90 percent of domestic spending or household spending is controlled by women and if you go to the mall as I've pointed a bunch of times out before it's all stores catering towards to women so if the population is normalized let's say that you could cancel the visas and you could deport or people would self-deport I think a million and a half people have already self-deported from America so then what would happen is the population would drop by 80 to 100 million people.
	Well, what would happen to that economy?
	Let's say also that you didn't have a legal system that was hell-bent on transferring as much money as humanly possible from men who tend to be savers, which is good for the future, and women who tend to be spenders, which is better for the present economically, but worse for the future economically.
	The entire system as it stands is obsessed with transferring money from men to women.
	Men pay far more into the tax system, women withdraw far more into the tax system.
	Getting women into the workforce by hook and by crook and often by fiat, by command and by threats of lawsuits if there aren't enough women around is a way of transferring resources often from male productivity or male taxpayers to women who then often will spend it and so on and the economy is kind of configured itself to that so if the population of america dropped by 80 to 100 million people and at the same time you had a situation where you stopped doing the transfer
	of trillions of dollars from men to women, then you would end up with a healthier economy, but the transition would be absolutely brutal.
	And that's what I mean by normalizing the population, which means simply stop using force to create perverse incentives for people to have and to spend money, whether it's welfare or government work or fiat mandated employment and so on.
	What would happen if the economy were allowed to return to some sort of free market situation where you could hire and fire at will, where you weren't constantly transferring resources from the more productive to the less productive, in general, through the welfare state and so on.
	And, of course, it goes the other way to some degree with the military-industrial complex.
	But what would happen if the population was normalized?
	Well, the entire economy would go through massive, massive convulsions.
	that would cause a reorienting of the entire economy towards something more sustainable, towards something more sane, real estate,
	Now the problem with real estate prices collapsing, as you know, I'm sure, is that banks hold a lot of their assets in real estate and they're allowed to lend multiples of the assets uh i remember some financial institutions in the 0708 crisis were were lending out at 30x they were lending out at 30 times their assets which means if their assets go down three percent in value uh they're kind of wiped out which is what happened to some of the financial institutions in 0708 so
	For both political and economic reasons, real estate prices are not allowed to drop.
	And that's one of the reasons why, along with other reasons to do with cultural destruction, one of the reasons why immigrant immigration.
	is not, well, it's not directly responding to the will of the population that's there in a lot of Western countries and other countries as well.
	Just to create the demand for housing, to create the demand for housing means that the poverty that people are actually experiencing is covered up through an artificial increase in real estate prices and people feel that they're wealthy.
	But when real estate prices go up, you're not wealthy.
	This is a basic fact, it's just inflation.
	You're not wealthy.
	Because if, let's say, you say, Oh gosh, my house has doubled in value.
	I can sell it and buy a much nicer house.
	It's like, no, you can't because all the other houses have doubled in value as well.
	And so you're not any wealthier, but you have this illusion that you have this extra wealth on paper.
	You, you, some real estate agent comes by and the house that you paid half a million for is now worth a million and a half.
	You're like, wow, I'm a millionaire.
	I'm a million dollars richer.
	It's like, well, you're not.
	You're not.
	And of course, the family wealth that you have gathered through artificial increases in demand for real estate is going to be paid for by your kids and the fact that they can't afford to have kids themselves.
	Like who'd want a house that's only increased in value on paper in return for the end of their bloodline because their kids can't afford housing?
	I mean, it's crazy.
	So that's just sort of very, very briefly.
	Now, of course, there are people in that threat.
	And when I say no one, of course I don't mean there's not one single person who'd be willing to go through this.
	But the boomers in particular have never been asked to sacrifice really anything.
	And they just don't have that muscle.
	They don't have that habit.
	They are a narcissistic and entitled generation on balance and on average.
	So if you were to say to the boomers, well, housing prices have to crash in order for your civilization to survive, I don't think they would.
	accept that.
	I don't think they would go along with that.
	They're being bribed for the end of their genetic lines in many ways because their kids can't afford to get ahead and real wages.
	Wages haven't risen since the U.S. went off the gold standard in 1971.
	And so everyone's kind of poor, everyone's kind of broke.
	And both debt and unfunded liabilities at a time when wages have stagnated have massively increased, which means that it's a way of saying, if your income hasn't gone up in 50 years, but you now have 20 times the debt that you used to have, objectively you're way poorer.
	You say, well, I'm not.
	poorer, I'm not richer, but that's just based upon the stagnation of income.
	But if you count the debt and unfunded liabilities, America is, well, most of the West is beyond broke.
	And when countries get into that kind of death spiral where demand has to be kept propped up through debt, it very much is like a company that borrows in order to purchase its own products in order to create an artificial demand for its products.
	I mean, that would be a fraud.
	That would be a con.
	That would probably get you going to jail unless you were donating to Democrats.
	and through deporting people who were illegal immigrants, what would happen to the economy?
	It would be a massive change and transition.
	Now, I don't think it would last more than eighteen months or so.
	And people always forget that they know about the 1929 crash.
	They always forget that there was an even worse crash in 1920, 1921.
	But it was over in about twelve to eighteen months because the president didn't do anything about it, didn't go in with these massive jobs programs and massive socialist schemes that FDR did in the thirties.
	So it would be about twelve to eighteen months.
	But I don't know that.
	I don't know that there's a politician out there who could communicate the necessity for that kind of wrenching sacrifice and change.
	And I don't know that the population in general would accept it.
	Now again, there'd be people who would, but that's sort of what I meant if that makes sense.
	That was basically what I was looking for there.
	I think that conflict between the boomers and the younger generations, you know, younger millennials and Gen Z. I myself was born in 1999 and it feels like, you know, both socially and economically, we're kind of getting backed into a corner right now.
	And yeah, that clarification was what I was looking for.
	I think that conflict between the older generations and the younger is crucial to understanding what you were saying.
	And yeah, that's what I was looking for there.
	I appreciate it.
	Well, thanks.
	I mean, if you have another minute or two, can you tell me a little bit about how life is like for you as, um, in, in your sort of mid, mid twenty, how does it look like out there?
	What is going on in your economic and professional life?
	Um, economically.
	Socially, I would say that the opportunities for advancement are there, but they're not typically in the avenues that a young man would want to go down.
	They're kind of often in corporate jobs.
	And that's just, I mean, the kind of income that a young man would be looking for to thrive in this economy, you're not going to find it in an enriching path, more or less.
	And then socially, there's just kind of a divide between what young natives in America and Europe both, I would imagine, what they want out of their countries.
	It seems like I kind of joke when I talk about this stuff with my friends, it feels like young guys are just kind of waiting for it.
	The guy, like you said, there's not really a politician in the West that will address these things.
	So it feels like we're just kind of sitting around waiting on the guy, you know, who will appear magically that will lead the way to a greater economic and social future for us.
	But as of now, it just kind of seems to be trudging along in the same kind of dead spiral like you were talking about.
	And you know, you can get by.
	You know, life could be worse, but I think a lot of young people are ready for the uh that economic pain that you were talking about that the older generations aren't ready for because of their the uh money they have tied up in assets yeah and of course the the longer the young have to wait for that guy the more radical that guy is going to be uh because i think trump was the hope to be that guy in a more moderate fashion and you know the jury's still out on whether he's going
	to be able to achieve enough to satisfy the younger generation.
	He's certainly done some good stuff in my opinion more so in his second term than in his first term, which was largely a shit show of false allegations.
	But yeah, it is of course the hope that some leader is going to, who's moderate, is going to help resolve these issues because at some point when young people, particularly young men, have no stake in the society, cannot reproduce in the society, cannot get ahead in the society, are not listened to in the society, they tend to get radicalized.
	And I'm not even saying whether that's a good or a bad thing.
	I'm just pointing it out anthropologically speaking or historically speaking.
	And, you know, it is, of course, it has been the hope of many people that a more moderate political solution can be found, which is basically just enforce the laws on the books and so on.
	Because, yeah, the longer that people wait and the more that young men get left behind and the fewer opportunities they have to advance and reproduce, at some point, it just becomes, okay, well, if this system is the end of my line, then I no longer have any stake in this system and radicalization tends to occur.
	from there.
	So, of course, it is the hope that a reasonable and peaceful, relatively peaceful political solution can occur because if not, it tends to be more extreme.
	So I hope that that will not come to pass, but I wouldn't hold my breath at the moment.
	Yeah, I agree with you there.
	I appreciate the talk stuff.
	All right.
	Thank you.
	I appreciate that.
	And yeah, we've got room for callers if you want to drop in.
	And I did see, kind of interesting.
	I did see, I think he was a British commentator, and this sort of went viral recently.
	And it was, you know, I won't even attempt the accent, but, you know, it was like, we've just got to tax people at 100%.
	It's like not enough we got to tax people inheritance taxes got to tax people because it's unfair for you to have money you didn't earn.
	Just it's wrong and unfair for you to have money that you just didn't earn.
	So you see, it's important for the government to take the money that the government didn't earn because somehow that's more just.
	So you see, you can't get the property that your parents worked hard to accumulate.
	Because you see, intergenerational assets shouldn't be transferred because that's wrong.
	However, intergenerational assets shouldn't be transferred because that's wrong.
	However, intergenerational liabilities, unfunded liabilities, the national debt.
	Well, those can totally be transferred.
	So you can't get the watch that your dad stored in unspeakable orifices when he was a prisoner of war.
	You can't get that watch, but you can get a million pounds of national debt.
	Oh, and also, you can't inherit your father's hard-earned money, your mother's hard-earned money, but you are responsible for slavery 400 years ago.
	300 years ago, 200 years ago.
	So that is, that's just the way that it works.
	And you see, it's unfair for you to get your family's hard-earned money., but the debts of strangers totally fine to land upon you.
	And so the government says, you see, it's wrong to get money you didn't earn.
	So we're going to take that money from you and then we're going to give it to people who didn't earn it.
	So that's the way that it works.
	And the second order thinking is something I always look for in political commentators.
	It is the, okay, and then what, right?
	So, oh, we're going to tax people at 100% inheritance tax at 100%.
	Well, no one's going to pay it.
	You mean, you won't get that tax.
	People will just gift the money.
	They'll put it into trust funds.
	They will set up various charities and other things to do it.
	They will find ways around it.
	They'll find loopholes or they'll leave the country or they just they'll burn it all up before it.
	before they die.
	So you're not going to get that money.
	You tax something at 100%.
	You won't get that money.
	I mean, you'll get a little bit of it, but not much.
	But what you will do is permanently destroy people's trust in the government and any reasonably fair tax system.
	And that will be it for your country and culture as a whole.
	So I just look for the second order thinking because what people say is they say, well, let's say we get get 100 billion pounds at 40%.
	So if we got 100%, that's 2.5 billion pounds.
	Sorry, that's 250 billion pounds.
	We got 100 billion or 40%.
	Well, 100% is 2.5 times that.
	So we go from 100 billion to 250 billion.
	Think of all that money.
	And it's like, but you won't get that.
	You won't get that.
	It's just wild.
	What people think.
	It's just a brutal and evil wish list of fantasy money that you can take from people.
	So yeah, crying out that things are unfair.
	I don't know.
	It's just crazy.
	It's just crazy.
	All right.
	I'm waiting for people with questions, comments, issues, challenges.
	I am happy to hear from you.
	I did see something interesting.
	There was this, I think she's a comedian.
	This was posted from Arthur Kwanli.
	And it was this woman.
	who was talking about, she was saying, well, what advice do you have?
	She was asking this comedian, what advice do you have for young women?
	Oh, what age?
	Oh, about 21 and she's basically oh just bang them all bang all the guys and bang all these guys and she said just absolutely unspeakable stuff where she talked about bestiality and stuff like it was just completely insane yeah so bang all these guys but don't tell everyone and that nice guy that good guy you just keep him around until you're ready to settle down and this reminds me of you know the general confusion that good guys and
	nice guys have about women who'll have sex with all the bad boys and then just keep them around in the friend zone and complain to the nice guys in their life about the bad guys and the situationships.
	A situationship is a euphemism.
	It is a euphemism for when a guy will have sex with you but won't commit to you.
	He likes your body, he doesn't like you.
	He wants to ejaculate in you, he doesn't want to put a ring on you.
	He doesn't want to date you.
	So you are for the bedroom at midnight, you are not for the public space at 4 p.m. in the afternoon.
	are there to be used in the dark, not displayed in the light.
	A situation ship is when a woman has a It's like if you run a car rental place in Vegas and you get really frustrated because it's like, man, nobody wants to buy these cars.
	It's like, no, it's a car rental place.
	They don't want to buy the cars.
	They're here to give you money so that the car goes away, doesn't stick around, and they don't want to.
	You know, they always return these cars, and they haven't.
	And it's like, well, that's what you do with something that you have permanently.
	It's not something you do with something you rent.
	You don't take care of the things that you rent and you pay a lot less for them so that they'll go.
	away.
	And so for the guys who see these women dating these idiots, these himbos, complaining about situationships, I just can't get him to commit.
	Well, no, because he's ejaculated, right?
	And then the nice guys are like, well, what's going on?
	And she's like, no, no, no, I'm keeping you around for when the time is right.
	All the good girls keep guys around until the time is right.
	And it's like, don't do it, man.
	Don't do it.
	I've never been the guy on deck, the guy who's the backup plan, the guy who's like, well, if we're both single when we're 35, we'll get together.
	My God, don't be that guy.
	I don't care how pretty she is, man.
	Just pretend that you're blind and all you can do is listen to her voice.
	Just pretend that.
	Now, I thought this was interesting and again, I'm happy to take your questions and comments, but I thought this was interesting.
	Lego.
	Lego, the, you know.
	Little plastic brick company.
	Lego did a study where they created a Lego Friends line for girls, where they discovered that when a boy plays with the toy of a character, he tries to become the character.
	And when a girl does the same thing, she tries to make the character become her.
	So if you give a boy a Batman toy, he's going to want to know everything there is to know about Batman.
	And he'll try to think and talk like Batman when he plays with the toy.
	The little girl, on the other hand, is going to make Batman go shopping, bake cookies, go to the prom.
	That's not to say there aren't exceptions on both sides of the data that allowed Lego to finally get a foothold on the girls' market after decades of failed attempts.
	So I think that's very interesting.
	Now, I would be interesting.
	It would be interesting to see if it was now Batman is a boy's toy, right?
	And so, but it's interesting.
	It's interesting.
	Which is the boys tried to become Batman and the girls tried to turn Batman into a girl.
	They put a little dress on him and had him go bake cookies and all that kind of stuff.
	So I thought that was quite interesting.
	And this is sort of an explanation as to why every movie Kathleen Kennedy produces is a piece of shit according to that, which I thought was interesting.
	Interesting, interesting.
	There was a brilliant comment here.
	I posted this yesterday on X. Men cannot compete with the government for female loyalty.
	And sophisticated peasant wrote, Government has become the serpent, and women have become Eve.
	Eve listens to the serpent.
	Eve thought upon eating the fruit, she'd become just like man, but all she became is naked.
	And I thought, The government has become the serpent.
	And he says, White women, I don't think it's particularly to white women, have become Eve.
	I think that's very interesting.
	And this sort of reminds me what the comedian was saying.
	The comedian, this woman, was saying, Go have a lot of sex, go have a lot of fun.
	And I think that, what's it, gonna go sleep around and so on.
	And that's the offer.
	And the offer is you'll just have a bunch of fun sex and then you'll land in a perfectly stable male provider role.
	Someone's gonna just take care of you and you're gonna have kids with them.
	It's gonna be great.
	And that is not where women land.
	It's not where women land.
	So this idea that you can just go sleep with a bunch of guys and then just settle down with a good guy.
	is one of the biggest lies ever foisted upon women.
	It does not work that way.
	It does not work that way.
	Because not all women are sleeping around.
	It's not actually that common to sleep around that much.
	And the women who don't sleep around are snapping up the guys, the actual providers, the quality men.
	So then by the time you finish riding the carousel and traveling through Europe in your late 20s, early 30s, the good guys are all gone.
	And you sold your future for the sake of pleasure.
	So the idea that you can have fun and you...
	You can be as lazy as you want now and you'll be ripped later.
	You don't have to work out to get muscles.
	You don't have to watch your eating to stay a healthy weight or to lose weight.
	You can just do whatever you want and a quality life will magically assemble itself somewhere down the road.
	That's not how life works, my friends.
	I don't know why people believe this kind of stuff.
	I don't know why people believe this kind of stuff at all.
	But they do, and it seems that women are a little bit more susceptible to this sort of stuff than men.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	All right, so let me just see what else.
	Oh yeah, the single mother, there's these...
	They get upset.
	They sit in their cars.
	They wear push-up bras in extended portrait mode.
	I think portrait mode was basically just invented so that women could show cleavage.
	They get upset and they do burnt hands and they rant in a car about something blindingly obvious as if it's a mystery of the universe.
	I don't really understand why women do this.
	But they do, and they do, they do it a lot.
	And so women are.
	ranting that there are no good men, no other, are there any good men out there?
	And, you know, this really reminds me, you know, this really reminds me of something that's really powerful that I realized, you know, decades ago, but I kind of wanted to share it with you.
	It's almost impossible to understand, unless you break from one entire section of society to another, it's almost impossible to understand just how segregated.
	mindsets are in the world.
	So I grew up poor and there were no quality people around.
	There were no quality people in my neighborhood.
	Not one.
	It's amazing how segregated people are.
	Now, I did manage to find a couple of quality families outside of my neighborhood.
	I had to bike or take the bus to go and visit them.
	But in my neighborhood, no quality people.
	It was all rent controlled, fairly trashy welfare apartments and so on.
	Almost all single moms or creepy boyfriends or single moms who were passing through, leaving handprints on the kids.
	just weren't quality people.
	And if you have sort of a wide variety of people that you know, then you have that kind of diversity.
	You know, kind of trashy poor people, not that all poor people are trashy, but where that, you know, overlaps, kind of trashy poor people, well, they tend to know trashy poor people.
	And people of low quality do not know high quality people.
	In fact, they're so segregated that they don't even believe that high quality people exist because nowhere in their world.
	are there high-quality people.
	It's like criminals basically saying, well, is everyone a criminal?
	It's like, well, everyone in your world is a criminal because people who aren't criminals don't hang out out in your world.
	Like this segregation is wild.
	And it leads people to epistemological conclusions that are totally invalid.
	Right?
	And people do this all the time.
	They think that their experience is universal.
	Right?
	So I'll post something on X or somewhere and people were like, well, this is stupid.
	I don't get it at all.
	It's like, or this is stupid.
	And I say, well, to you, to you, this is stupid.
	Or why are you indulging in such low-rent trash posts?
	And it's like, no, it's...
	Because people, there were some photos that came out of Sydney Sweeney, you know, kind of at a distance.
	She's in a bathing suit, she doesn't have any makeup on, and yeah, almost everyone has unflattering angles and so on, and the idea that we can see celebrities without makeup is kind of a modern phenomenon.
	And people were like, Ah, Sydney Sweeney, she's so mid, right?
	So I take on that fight.
	I will take on that fight every day of the week and twice on Sunday, because if you think that Sydney Sweeney is mid, you're never going to reproduce.
	And the birth rate is kind of important.
	I think, at least for my audience, I want the tough top 1% of intelligence that characterizes my audience, I kind of want you all to have some babies.
	I mean, I'd like my daughter to grow up in a world where there are, you know, a couple other smart people.
	So, my audience, again, I'm viewing top 1% of intelligence.
	And if y'all think that Sydney Sweeney is mid, very hardworking, very talented, very ambitious.
	And yes, she's pretty and it's got a great figure and all of that.
	So, if you think that she's mid.
	then you have warped your brain and your perception of beauty to the point where you'll find just about everyone ugly.
	You know, someone made a joke that was actually pretty funny, which was, uh, I mean, her elbows are way too pointy you know and this is sort of a from the old Seinfeld series there was these sort of jokes about how they'd find something wrong with every single woman right some woman posts a video and people are like giant she's got a giant forehead or she's got a weird dimple or you know just these these tiny little little things that people sort of blow up into these massive uh issues and you know if you are only
	looking at super pretty people that is going to warp your perception of ordinary human attractiveness.
	And again, I know this is a bit more of a problem for women than men, at least according to that eponymous, okay, Cupid graph where most men are rated unattractive, but that's because women invest far more into reproduction than men do, so men can be a little bit more balanced in their view.
	But if my audience is out there thinking, if you met someone like Sydney Sweeney or whatever, and you'd say, she's a mid, it's like, I mean, compared to what?
	I mean, what was it?
	Kevin Samuels used to rate Beyoncé as an eight, and I don't think that's true at all.
	Again, without makeup, who knows, right?
	But, oh, you're just engaging in such low-rent trash.
	It's like, no, it's actually pretty important.
	Because if my audience thinks that Sydney Sweeney is mid.
	mid then they are so adult in their brains that they have lost track of ordinary human attractiveness completely if that's mid then i'm 20 i'm not i know i really had to say that i know i had to say that but it's uh it's wretched and of course the other thing too is that it makes women insecure we men We men as a whole,
	we don't really get how amped up women can get about their looks.
	I mean, I remember seeing an ad many years ago.
	in a magazine and it was basically like your eyebrows need to be more lush and it was like i think bookshields or something was like i've never looked at a woman and said boy you know she'd be really attractive if she had thicker eyebrows and but but you know it seems like 80 of the modern economy is winding women up about their appearance and what they need to do to be attractive And it's hard for men to know.
	I mean, we have the, oh, do I have abs kind of thing, but it's not really a serious concern for many men.
	But it's really hard for women to feel attractive when there's so much money to be made off making women feel unattractive.
	Well, if you only had this accessory or if you had this earring or if you had you know this weird bucle fat removal which turns you into a combination of a half-melted Barbie and Skeletor the Magnificent well you know that's tough and so if women see a picture of Sydney Sweeney and all these guys are saying she's mid and they feel less attractive than Sydney Sweeney it's cruel it's it's really cruel and again men we don't generally have these buttons of
	you know someone can just push that button and just make you feel bad just make you feel unattractive women do have these buttons better or worse like it or don't like it it's just a fact of life life.
	And so it's kind of cruel on women when men are talking about how Sydney Sweeney, who's like a literal model and actress, how she's mid, and she's also very talented as well.
	And I wouldn't obviously agree with all the artistic choices she's made of things to be in, but Madam Webb.
	anyway, it is brutal on women and it's brutal on men.
	And I do think,
	What I mean by that, of course, is that for a man to archly say uh sydney sweeney so mid i think i think it's with the goal of making others or perhaps women think that he's so used to beauty that he looks down on sydney sweeney and again it's not about sydney sweeney in any fundamental way i don't know her from adam and i'll never meet her anything like that but holy crap i mean it's a bad scene it's a bad scene and i think it's vanglorious and
	i think it comes at the expense of women's security it comes at the expense of uh it's a virus it comes at the expense of other men's happiness with the women that they date because if you're like if you think, oh, Sydney Sweeney's very pretty or very sexy or whatever, and then some guys, oh, she's so mid, then you're like, oh, maybe she is mid, and so on.
	And then women go a little insane, and men adjust their standards to the point where ordinary women just aren't even remotely attractive to them, normal women.
	And that's bad.
	Because the big secret in life, I mean, it's a big secret, big secret in life, that that And the long, like, you know, if you have this thing where you hear a song and you're like, eh, it's okay or whatever it is.
	And then you hear it a lot more and it suddenly, it kind of gets into your head, it gets into your ears and then you start to really enjoy and appreciate it.
	Like, I remember there was, I was a big fan of Sting when I was younger.
	I find him a bit insufferable now, but I was a big fan of Sting when I was younger and he put out an album called The Soul Cages.
	And on the Soul Cages, there's a song, I saw it again this evening, The Wild Wild Sea.
	And I really didn't like the song.
	I thought it was atonal, I thought it was the beats kept changing and so on.
	And then there was actually a review of it where they pointed out how the song mimics the sea with its percussion and it's changing, you know, like the sea changes, the song changes.
	And I put the headphones on, I listened to it again and I was like, this is a good song, man.
	And I've grown to like the song quite a bit.
	Soulcage is still sucks, but that song is good.
	So sometimes you listen to things over and over again, they get better.
	So what I'm saying is it doesn't hugely matter how attracted you are to the person at the very beginning if they've got a great personality, a great smile, and they're kind and thoughtful and affectionate and moral, then you'll get used to their looks and they will be beautiful to you because you see more of who they are on the inside.
	And the other thing, of course, is that looks fade.
	Looks fade.
	Looks fade.
	You know, I'm going to be 59 next month and so I'm in my sixth, sixth, sixth decade.
	And that's a lot.
	And, you know, I was a good looking guy when I was younger.
	I'm okay now, but, you know, looks fade.
	Looks fade.
	You're good.
	It's going to come and go.
	It's going to come and go.
	So you'll get used to the looks.
	So you'll get used to the looks and the looks are going to fade anyway.
	So you better have something to substitute it, which is why I talk about love being an involuntary response to virtue, if we're virtuous, because that way love can grow over time.
	Because looks will fade, figures will fade, boobs and balls will drop.
	But virtue only generally increases over the course of life.
	And if you lock in and love the virtue, then it more than makes up for the physical decay because you have the respect and love of the people in your life so i would really recommend that so so when people are like why, why are you dealing with such low rent trash?
	It's like, no, it's important.
	This is important stuff.
	This is important stuff.
	And so because people don't understand what I'm doing, they think that what I'm doing is ridiculous.
	But it's not a very good general who says, well, I don't know what the other general is doing, so they're making mistakes.
	I don't understand.
	It's like, why would they amass all their troops here where I can see them?
	They're an idiot.
	I'm gonna, well, they probably thought of that.
	Maybe they have a plan you're not aware of, but if you don't give people the respect, especially smart people, if you don't give smart people the respect of having perhaps good reasons for what they're doing, life will forever remain confusing to you, but not as confusing as it is to people who don't.
	I recognize IQ.
	Alright.
	So if you've got questions or comments, issues or challenges, I'm certainly happy to hear them.
	I don't mind if we do a shorter show.
	I've had a headache today, so, which is very unusual, I almost never get headaches.
	But, uh, I certainly have one today, although it's mostly better.
	Now.
	Yeah, was it yesterday was Robert Plant's birthday?
	No, two days ago was Robert Plant's birthday.
	Boy, can you imagine?
	How he screamed as a baby must have been something.
	Alright.
	just see here.
	Uh, hmm.
	Do-do-do.
	Questions, comments, issues, challenges?
	Please, too.
	Let me know.
	One sec, please.
	All right.
	We're going to go with...
	Neuro...
	Blah!
	you I can't tell you how much I wish that X had something you didn't have to use.
	A phone to run your shows.
	That's crazy, man.
	All right, neurodial.
	Hey Steph, hey Don, you hear me right?
	Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
	So with all the topics you've touched on, there's one I'm kind of interested in your thoughts on.
	So I'm a bit older, I'm like 35.
	How do you remain, how do you remain optimistic in the dating scene that is with the topics that you've talked about with the women?
	Well, I'm not in the dating market, but so you are, are you asking me how you would remain optimistic?
	Yes, so like, like if you look at the statistics which I have.
	What do I say?
	The women, like if you look at body count women in the country that I'm in, the average is I think 13, 13.7.
	I know it's like a thrown out number by the greater to me the medium, but when you know this data, how do you remain optimistic with the older type of women, with like let's say 30?
	Okay, what sorry, you said 30 and older women?
	Yeah, so like let's say between the age of 27 and 33 or something like that.
	And how old are you?
	35.
	And why are you single at 35?
	Why am I single?
	That's a good question.
	So like, I mean, 20 years in the dating market, right?
	Nobody snapped you up.
	I was in a relationship probably about five, five or six years ago.
	That was my I was in a four year relationship then.
	And why didn't you marry?
	And I'm not asking because you should have.
	I'm just curious, like, why didn't you marry that woman?
	Because it's like, like you've talked about before, typically there's like a crunch time after a certain amount of time, the biological clock runs to the point where either people will marry and have kids or they'll break up and that's where we hit.
	Why didn't I marry her?
	Because the kind of person that I was when I met her was very different to when I broke up with her.
	So she was very volatile, very aggressive, all that sort of personality traits.
	That's what I sort of noticed throughout the relationship.
	And how old were you when you met her?
	Like twenty, was I like twenty?
	Oh, I'm gonna say twenty two or something like that?
	twenty three, something like that.
	And I assume that you came from a family where that behavior was kind of normalized?
	One hundred percent, yes.
	Yeah, when I was younger, like.
	Like, so there was no conversations in my household.
	So it was like, I never had a full conversation with either of my parents.
	It was always yelling to solve solutions, which I've kind of corrected that behavior, but that was my normal at the time.
	Okay, and were your parents keen on your girlfriend at the time?
	Correct.
	Okay, and did she change at all for the better over the course of your relationship?
	No, she changed for the worse.
	So, especially when I started listening to you and studying psychology and stuff like that, I started to notice things that I brought up in discussions.
	And obviously, because that's not how we initiated the relationship, that brought out more aggression and more rage okay so when you tried to stand up to her she escalated is that right there's a funny kind of background noise that's going on with you where are you is there oh see if i can move i don't know if it's just squeaking or uh oh it doesn't usually matter i've just if you could tamp it down i'd appreciate that okay so that's almost ten years ago though that you broke up right 22 24 years 26 you're 35 so
	it's close to a decade ago And I assume you learned your lesson.
	So what have you been doing for the last 10 years?
	So I've been in the dating scene trying to meet different women and stuff like that.
	I had about, so it's through COVID and all that sort of stuff.
	I took a few years where I just separated from everything.
	My mum's death and all that sort of stuff.
	I don't know what, sorry, I don't know what that means.
	Separated from everything?
	I kind of disconnected from the world for a little bit because No, I know what separated from everything, but just saying I disconnected from the world doesn't explain anything, like what does that mean?
	You became a monk?
	What were you talking about?
	So during COVID, like my mum, she got sick, she died, so I spent a lot of time with her at the time.
	Sorry, why did you spend a lot of time with your mum?
	When she got sick, because I was trying to correct correct the relationship if she cheered you on dating an abusive woman who broke your heart?
	Um, because I hadn't fully committed to the idea that blood isn't everything at the time.
	Well, she didn't care that blood wasn't everything to her.
	She threw you to a female wolf, right?
	Yes.
	So help me understand why did you burn up a couple of years of your precious dating life to take care of an abuser?
	Um, why did you reward her??
	That's a good question.
	Why did I reward her?
	I I'm not sure I know the answer to that.
	Sure you do.
	How long have you been listening to what I do?
	Probably like six, seven years, something like that.
	Okay.
	Maybe eight years.
	This question can't be a shock to you, right?
	No, it's not.
	Okay, so tell me about the ways in which you were mistreated by your parents when you were a kid.
	If you don't mind.
	No, ways I was.
	Yeah, no worries.
	Ways I was mistreated.
	So like, a lot of.
	verbal abuse, neglect.
	Verbal abuse, like what, What, what, what did that look like or sound like?
	It was just yelling aggression all the time and the threat of disconnection.
	So if you did something wrong and you didn't shut up, then you were yelled at and then the threat of neglect was thrown in.
	So it was nothing.
	I wasn't calling the threat.
	What is the sorry to I'm sorry, you're just trying to understand.
	And also, you might be, your mic might be rubbing against something.
	That's maybe where the chirping is coming from.
	But when you said that your mother or your parents would threaten neglect, what would they say say it wouldn't say anything in particular it would be like um like um they would yell it would it would just be
	escalation so it would be over nonsense so basically like i would just be useless or um they would say you're useless what else what they so they call you other names Names not really.
	It was just escalation.
	So like if I walked in from school and I was late or something like this happened, then it was more or along the lines of just yelling like, where were you?
	What were you doing?
	Why didn't you tell us?
	And just this, this kind of threat.
	It was just yelling though.
	So it wasn't, um, direct like name calling or anything like that.
	It wasn't like that.
	Okay.
	So they yelled at you, but they didn't threaten neglect.
	They didn't say, you know, we're going to move and leave you behind or, you know, whatever.
	They didn't sort of threaten to abandon you or reject you or anything like that.
	Um, it was the, the, the threat of neglect was, so the abandonment was always straight.
	So there wasn't always times when I had a food all the time.
	There wasn't times when I had clothes all the time.
	Was that because of poverty or why why wouldn't you have food and clothes?
	Um, because they weren't exactly poor because I still went to a private school.
	Um, it was, I don't know, like, so from primary school, so we had two different separations at school, so like grade one to grade six and then grade seven to grade twelve.
	And I only had three pairs of clothes for each of them periods.
	Was that okay?
	So when I was in boarding school, you had to wear a uniform.
	Is that what you mean?
	Like you had a uniform?
	Correct.
	Okay, so they would buy you three sets of the uniform from...
	Yes, yeah, that was another three sets, yeah.
	Okay, so was that the recommended?
	I mean, did you get laundry done at the school?
	Why would it be that?
	Just because when I was in grade one, my clothes were way too big and when I got to grade six, my clothes were way too small.
	So why would they not buy you clothes if they can afford private school?
	Thank you.
	Could you do me a favor if we're going to have a conversation?
	I know it's a difficult topic, but if you could stop moving around, I'd was just trying for a better area.
	Sorry.
	Yeah, so why would they not buy you clothes?
	I don't, I understand.
	That was just the expected norm.
	That's just what they did.
	And that doesn't answer anything.
	Come on, man.
	Don't waste my time with these non-answers.
	Come on, let's be rigorous here.
	did they not buy you clothing?
	Because, like, so I wasn't, I don't know, it felt like I was, unable to if I got it dirty or stained or anything like that, then there was then I had to kind of live with the consequences, but then it would reflect badly on them.
	So then it would give them a reason to Well, hang on, doesn't it reflect badly on them if your clothes don't even fit you?
	I think so.
	Okay.
	So why didn't they buy you clothes that fit and enough of them for you to stay clean?
	I mean, I know the answer.
	It's not, it's going to be obvious when I say it.
	It's not okay.
	To fuck with your status.
	Oh, yeah, of course.
	Yeah, one hundred percent.
	You're right.
	That's obvious.
	Okay.
	So tell me that.
	Um, yeah, so when I was at school because of that factor, I was always mocked all the time for that reason.
	Yeah, It's to make sure that you don't have any status that you're not looked up to so that they can continue to treat you badly and you won't have any comparison being treated well by your social group, by your peers.
	So they set you up to be bullied so that the bullies can do the kind of abuse, verbal abuse that they're not present to do so it can still continue so it doesn't denormalize when they treat you like shit.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So how long were you in boarding school for?
	Oh, this sorry, this wasn't boarding school, this is just a private school.
	A private school, sorry.
	Was it a long way away?
	Uh, no.
	I mean, well, I had to catch a bus i caught the bus on average it was about two hour bus ride in the morning and then uh two hour bus yeah and then really really far away that's insane what time did you have to catch the bus like 6 30 uh yep yep yep and then i did training but when uh 5 30 holy crap so from getting up and getting ready to school to coming home was twelve hours And then when did you have to
	go to bed at night if you've got to get up?
	Crushingly early.
	Uh, like 7 38.
	Okay, so you'd get home at 5 30 and then you'd have dinner.
	and bath and then you'd go to bed.
	Pretty much, yeah.
	So did your parents, how did they, did they, didn't spend much time with you, right?
	Uh, no, not at all.
	So they yelled at you and they ignored you and they put you on this ridiculous bus ride from here to eternity.
	Um, why?
	Why, why did they and they didn't buy your clothes?
	I mean, this is all pretty terrible, isn't it?
	Uh, yeah, I think so, yeah.
	So why am I only one?
	Why am I the only one that it bothers in this conversation?
	Um, because it feels, it, at least it felt normal at the time.
	Um, but you're 35!
	Yeah.
	I mean, you're supposed to stop playing with Lego and you're supposed to denormalize shitty childhood stuff.
	Yes.
	Okay, so what happened in your teens?
	You went to the private school until you were, until you graduated in grade 12, is that right?
	Yeah, yeah, I was 17, yeah.
	Was it a mixed school or boys only?
	Yeah, no mixed school, yeah.
	Okay, and what happened with you in dating, which usually starts around 15?
	15.
	So I avoided women entirely because my logic at the time was that if you like if you find a female that you like and then you date them, then they're going to babytrap you and then they're going to ruin your life.
	And is that because that's what happened with your mom and dad?
	I believe so, yeah.
	Sorry, but what do you mean, you believe so?
	Um, so I don't think my mom babytrapped him, but if you asked my dad on his experience as a husband, he would, uh, he would say that his life was horrible, yes.
	And I think he would blame my mom, but I think that's also because he didn't accept responsibility for anything he did either.
	So your theory is that your dad was babytrapped, but that's not any.
	proof.
	I do know that they didn't want kids, so I don't know how I came about in that regard.
	And you're the only kid?
	I mean, they basically didn't have a kid if you're gone twelve hours a day.
	Yes.
	And did you like going on a four hour of bus rides a day and going to this private school?
	Absolutely not.
	Okay.
	And did you talk to your parents about that?
	Did they know you didn't like it?
	well of course they knew right but um i did but it was it was when i got older so um Yes.
	And what did they do or say about you being unhappy?
	What did they do or say?
	They I think I wouldn't say they enjoyed it, but they There was no part of my childhood where I would say that there was joy.
	So, like, there were no times where I could give you an example of spending time with my dad or my mom that I felt happy and expressive and able to be myself when I was younger.
	There were no times like that.
	So, I don't think they really cared whether I was happy or not or their goal was to make me unhappy okay i'm really sorry about that i mean by the by just as a whole.
	So, yeah.
	I mean, you were going through teenage hormones.
	I'm sure you were attracted to girls, right?
	Yes.
	And what did you do?
	Like punch yourself in the nags to avoid them?
	I mean, how did you not end up asking girls out if that's what happened?
	How did I not ask them out?
	So I just, because it was at the, like when I was, obviously you can tell that the girls at that age when they like you, because it is blatantly obvious.
	Well, not all of them.
	Yeah, go on.
	Yeah.
	I would just avoid them entirely.
	I would just shut that thought process down.
	And did your parents ever ask you why you weren't dating anyone or did they ever ask you if you were interested in anyone?
	Absolutely not, no.
	Okay, and then when did you move out?
	When I was 18, 18, 19, 18, 19, I moved out.
	Okay, and did you move far?
	I took a job up in the mines, which was about 600 ks away.
	Okay.
	And how did your relationship go with your parents in your 20s?
	Well, as of now, I have haven't spoken to my dad in years.
	How did it go in my twenties?
	There was a period in my twenties as well when I disconnected from him entirely for probably a year.
	Sorry, from him.
	And him.
	Sorry, why was your dad getting the brunt of this?
	Why was he getting the brunt of this?
	I'm not saying you're wrong.
	I don't know.
	I'm just curious.
	Like, you stayed more friendly with your mom and I'm just curious why?
	Because I thought he was very weak.
	I didn't like weak men like that.
	My mom, I didn't.
	There was a bit of.
	disconnection but if she did call me i would still answer and why why i felt obligated but why would you feel obligated for your mom but not your dad i mean i thought you said blood and blah blah blah i mean your dad's blood too that's correct yeah um what if i'll get a sign from mom I think it's an excuse,
	but unless it's like white knighting propaganda nonsense towards the female.
	Well, I don't know.
	I mean, you were making those decisions and you even made the decision, how long did your mom.
	take from being sick to dying?
	Sick to dying, two and a half years.
	Two and a half years, and how old were you over that time period?
	So she died four years ago, so I was 31-ish when she actually died.
	So 28 or something like that, 28 to 31 or something like that.
	Okay, 28 to 31.
	Okay, got it.
	So, those are prime last-ditch dating years, right?
	Yep.
	And how much time and effort, were your parents still together at that point?
	No, they split up when I was, I think, 15.
	Oh, they split up when you were 15.
	Okay.
	I think so, yeah.
	Wait, you think they split up or you think you were 15?
	I think I was 15.
	I was pretty sure that was it.
	I just wanted to check.
	Okay.
	And so, you stayed in touch with your mom, but you were less in touch with your father.
	and then your mom got sick and how much time, effort and energy did you expend in taking care of her?
	That was probably 50% energy, a fair bit, a lot.
	So it was like a part-time job to take care of your mom, is that right?
	Yeah, and I would say emotionally was the most of the drain, yeah.
	Not physical work as such, but emotional drain, yeah.
	And did you move back in or did you move closer or something like that?
	I didn't move back in, I just moved closer.
	Okay, and so you would spend 10, 20 hours a week maybe sometimes with your mom or taking care of her?
	Yep.
	Okay.
	Yep, and yeah, something like that.
	And the last year she moved to, she had a house like...
	like quite a fair way away so i didn't spend time with her as much but i would just travel down there for like let's say two or three weeks a year on the on the last year something like that but the emotional stuff is still big, right?
	100%.
	Okay.
	So Why did you do that?
	And I'm not disagreeing with you.
	I'm just curious what your reasoning is.
	I mean, she didn't take care of you, right?
	In fact, she encouraged you.
	I mean, she ignored you for most of her childhood or yelled at you.
	She sabotaged you with your peers and with girls.
	They didn't care about your happiness, as you said, or they tried to make you unhappy.
	So why would you do this?
	Put it to it all.
	I don't know.
	I felt obligated.
	that's not an answer um you Thank you.
	I just look after her.
	I'm not entirely sure on that one.
	Okay.
	I'll take partially sure.
	Okay.
	Partially sure.
	I mean, were you aware of everything you were sacrificing?
	Partly, yeah, I was.
	I wasn't blind to the fact of what I was sacrificing.
	I mean, two and a half years plus it probably took another year to emotionally recover from following someone down into debt.
	So that's three and a half years.
	You were together with a woman from 22 to 26.
	Then it usually takes half the length of the time to get over the relationship.
	puts you at 28 and then at 28 yeah And then that's when your mom got sick.
	So basically from 22 to 31, And why?
	Self-sabotage.
	I didn't feel like.
	I was worth it.
	That's just psychospeak.
	What does that mean?
	That's just psychological speak, right?
	What does that mean?
	I don't know.
	But why would you do it?
	I didn't.
	I mean, if your mom had warned you about the woman from 22 to 26, that would have saved your heart, right?
	From more than half a decade of torment and recovery.
	So she didn't take care of you, did she didn't she?
	So what are you doing?
	Wipe her eyes for two and a half years.
	Again, I'm I'm happy to hear the case.
	I just don't I don't understand it.
	Um And why didn't she say, No, you're a young man.
	I go, go live your life, go date, go do something?
	Because there are no hot girls at my place.
	Yeah.
	I don't think she cared at all.
	I think I was narcissistic in that regard.
	It was a good thing.
	So why did you reward the abusive, neglectful narcissist?
	I don't want to reward the narcissist.
	I mean, did you do you do you do a vow to her to her?
	Did she make a vow to your dad?
	Yeah.
	So she made a vow to her d to your dad, which she broke, right?
	Did she leave him?
	Uh, he cheated on her.
	That's how they broke up.
	Um, no, that's not causal.
	Lots of couples go through infidelity without breaking up.
	So cool, yeah.
	Um, yes, she did leave him after that.
	Okay, so she left him.
	So she broke the vows, right?
	Yeah.
	So she has no honor.
	She she didn't fulfill her duties as a mother.
	She didn't fulfill her duties as a wife.
	She broke up the marriage.
	She did not protect her child.
	In fact, she encouraged you to date a dangerous verbal abuser.
	She sabotaged you or at least participated in that in school with your peers with the dress and other things, I'm sure.
	And she had you sit on a fucking bus four hours a day.
	Yes.
	Rather than have you at home where you belong.
	And at what age did you start going to the school two hours away?
	Um, what age?
	I was probably how old?
	Ten?
	Whatever you are in grade three.
	Okay.
	Somebody like that.
	And before that, did your mother spend time at home with you?
	No.
	I just went to like when I was real young, I don't know how they took care of me.
	I don't believe I went to daycare, but I think I was just left with my grandparents while they were working.
	So, do you want to know why you took care of your mother?
	I would love to, yeah.
	Because you got to hide out.
	You had a plan, you had a purpose that you didn't have to define for yourself.
	You got to slip on the train tracks of someone else's death and follow them into the grave rather than define your own life and make your own choices.
	Yeah, fair, cool, yeah.
	Because you're used to being pushed around verbally, just like your dad was.
	You said he was weak, right?
	Yeah.
	And so when your mom's sick, I'm sure there's a little bit of like, well, okay, I know what I'm doing now.
	I gotta take care of mom.
	My life is defined.
	I don't have to define it for myself.
	I don't have to go out there and conquer new worlds and date women and get rejected.
	I can just take care of mom.
	That's my thing.
	Now.
	So why would you?
	So want to hide out in that kind of way?
	I wouldn't want to hide out in that kind of way.
	I don't think women like me when I speak if I speak honestly and openly I don't normally get much.
	It's normally a dislike.
	Speak honestly and openly.
	Bro, you don't know the first facts about your own life.
	What the hell are you supposed to be talking honestly and openly about?
	You mean, so obviously.
	Yeah.
	I mean, you've been listening to me and you don't question your own motives about essential things.
	Yeah.
	I hadn't questioned that enough.
	So I'm not trying to bag on you.
	I'm trying to give you a little, you know, electrical shock maybe a little here, right?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Okay, so over the course of, Did you date?
	Over that period, no.
	No, of course.
	When then were there any women that you were attracted over that period that you did not date?
	That period, no.
	Okay.
	Did any of your friends say to you, this is not a good use of your time.
	She doesn't deserve it.
	She hasn't earned it.
	No, they would have said the opposite.
	They would have said you're doing the right thing.
	Right.
	Okay.
	Were you doing the right thing?
	No.
	What was wrong with what you were doing?
	What was wrong with what I was doing?
	I was being a coward, I guess.
	I was being a I was.
	Now you're just a little bit.
	Take a second.
	I was thinking about what I said about the hiding outs.
	So don't echo what I was saying.
	Well, in your heart, what was, or let's just say the wrong wrong has a moral connotation.
	I don't mean it that way.
	What was a problem with what you were doing?
	I was, I was, I was in my mind thinking I was being safe, but I wasn't.
	Well, you, you got to feel like a good guy, right?
	You got to feel like a good guy.
	and you didn't have to face the criticism if people would say, How's your mom?
	Oh, she's sick.
	Oh, that must be tough in you.
	Yes, it is.
	What are you doing?
	Well, I'm doing as much for her as she did for me.
	Right.
	Did your mother ever go through any particular revolution before she died?
	Some self-knowledge thing, some virtue thing, some therapy thing or something like that?
	Um, no.
	I thought that she did, but no, it wasn't.
	I think that no, not at all.
	And did you ever have honest conversations with either of your parents about the issues you'd had with them from childhood and onward?
	Uh, no, I'm going to talk to my dad very shortly, but no, I haven't yet.
	Uh, I haven't, no, sorry, I'll take that back.
	I have talked to him before, about three years ago, um, and it was just a, uh, complete rejection and denial on his part.
	Okay, I'm sorry about that, but it's good to have the conversation.
	So why are you having it again?
	Why am I having it again?
	Because I feel there's a part of me that needs to get a bit of closure there.
	But you had the closure.
	You already had the conversation.
	This is more waiting and postponing and I'll be ready when.
	I'll be ready when, bro, you're 35?
	You're 35?
	This stuff was 20, 30 years ago.
	You're still looking for closure?
	What closure are you hoping to get from your father?
	And listen, I'm passionate, but it doesn't mean I'm right.
	So what closure are you trying to get?
	I mean, he didn't take care of you as a kid, he married a terrible woman, he encouraged you to date a terrible woman, he dropped out of touch, he cheated on your mom, he rejected and gaslit you three years ago.
	Like, what are you going back for?
	Yeah, there's nothing there.
	No, I'm I'm I don't want you to comply just because I'm passionate.
	I'm just feeling like I'm yelling at you like your parents did.
	What?
	What are you going back for?
	There isn't anything to go back for.
	What are Okay, but what is your fantasy about what you're going to get from talking to your dad again after three years after he blew you off and gaslit you last time?
	I mean, I'm open to the case.
	What are you hoping to get?
	What I feel like I want to get is I want to get the caring parent back, which isn't even that.
	Oh my god, bro, that would be terrible.
	Yeah, that would be.
	Why would it be so terrible if your dad unlocked a second heart that was totally warm and loving?
	Because if he did that now, he could have done that back then.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I mean, you're more than twice an adult, right?
	You've been, you were 14, you were 18 years a kid, right?
	And you're now close to 18 years an adult, so it's 50-50, right?
	So your parenting is almost two decades in the past.
	So what, what, what to be the point now?
	Like, you finally made it to shore and then somebody hits you over the head with a life vest.
	That's no good, right?
	Yeah.
	That's no good.
	What are you hiding out from?
	Why do you have all of these psychological things to take care of your mom and confront my dad, do this, do that?
	Like, what are you delaying?
	What are you postponing?
	What are you waiting for?
	What am I postponing?
	I feel, I have the fear that if I do find a woman that is great and we have a kid, I'm going to fuck them up.
	Okay.
	So you are taking yourself out of the game because you might get an injury or injure someone.
	Okay.
	So where did you learn that shitty lesson from?
	I don't know how much she listens to.
	taught you that you have so little hope of being a good player that you just stay out of the game?
	I told me that.
	Um, I want to say.
	Okay, let's just go simple.
	Did your dad take, how ambitious and achievement focused and oriented was your dad?
	He was mediocre.
	He did well enough, but mediocre.
	Could he have done better?
	Yeah, 100%.
	Maybe he was held back by your mom, but after he divorced your mom like 20 years ago or your your mom divorced him, did he unleash his potential or what?
	I would have said it went in decline, not increased.
	It went in decline.
	Okay.
	So if ten, like minus ten is complete failure, plus ten is a massive success, relative to his potential, where did your dad sit on minus ten to plus ten?
	Relative to potential, I'd give him a six, five.
	I'd give him a five right in the middle.
	No, right in the middle is zero, minus ten to plus ten, right in the middle is zero.
	Oh, sorry.
	Yeah, sorry, you're right.
	I'd give him a two.
	A two, okay.
	So relative to his potential, he was kind of a loser, right?
	Yep.
	So what was hesitant in your dad about pursuing his potential?
	Why did he pull back from pursuing his potential, which is absolutely what we have to do in life in order to have a shred of happiness?
	Why did your dad withdraw or withhold himself from maximizing his potential?
	Everyone has an explanation for this.
	Everyone has an explanation as to why they don't pursue their potential.
	What was your dad's explanation?
	What was his reasoning?
	What was his thinking?
	When he would do stuff, he was very good at doing a bunch of stuff, but he would always sabotage himself midway through the job or he would never finish the task at all.
	So he would have these great ideas.
	They were very good, but then he would start them, give up on them and then throw them in the corner.
	That's what he did.
	Why would he do that?
	Okay.
	So typical examples are like, well, you can't get ahead because people will just, it's not worth it.
	They're just going to exploit you.
	Your boss is going to take all the credit.
	The company is rigged.
	The whole thing is rigged.
	You know, like the actors who can't get any roles.
	Oh, it's all nepotism and who you know.
	And it's like, everybody has an excuse or a reason.
	Because most people don't fulfill their potential to come anywhere close.
	And everybody has a completely bullshit set of reasons as to why.
	So why, what was your dad's story about why it wasn't worth digging in, pursuing your potential I think he just thought that whatever he if he if he came majorly successful.
	I think he had the same.
	He just thought that the women were going to take it from him, so there was no point in trying.
	Okay, so here's just like, it's the family courts, it's the women, they'll take away everything, so don't be excellent, don't succeed, right?
	Okay.
	How has that infected your pursuit of your potential?
	Shoot.
	Um...
	I would say I'll probably float around in the same areas.
	I do quite well at what I do, but I...
	I can definitely do that one hundred percent.
	And I have the same thought in that same regard.
	I have the same idea.
	Minus ten to plus ten where you aren't fulfilling your potential.
	I'd say the same number.
	I'd say two.
	Zero to two.
	Okay.
	What holds you back?
	Like you get thrown in the fucking grave at the end of your life, whether you maximize your potential or not.
	And it's a hell of a lot more fun and a hell of a lot more inspiring, both for you and others to hit the gas, give it everything you've got and try to maximize.
	So what is holding you back and what's your story about why it's not worth digging in, locking in, and going for the gold?
	I think that if I maximize my potential, if I feel hopeless in the dating scene, then there would be no point in maximizing my potential because the only purpose would be family.
	So if I don't think there's a chance of a family, then there'd be no point in getting my potential.
	Okay, so what's wrong with hitting your potential even if you don't want a family?
	Isn't it better to succeed and hit the maximum of what you're capable of and make some money so you can retire early and do whatever the hell you want.
	Like, why wouldn't you, even if you forget the family, why wouldn't you maximize, dig in, lock in, go for the gold?
	Why not?
	Um...
	Um...
	Thank you.
	Trades.
	I do trades.
	You do the trades, okay.
	So if I were to say to you, man, start your own company, start hiring people, put out ads, you know, work.
	I mean, you don't have a family.
	You might as well work, you know, lock in, grow the business, knock on people's doors, maximize, right?
	And if you were to wake up tomorrow with that as your goal, how would you feel?
	If that was my goal tomorrow, I'd feel pretty energized.
	I'd feel pretty ready to put out a trade.
	What would it cost you to do that in your life though?
	Letting go of most of the people that still have contact with.
	Yeah.
	Crossing the desert.
	Because you're surrounded by losers.
	Yeah.
	Am I wrong?
	No, you're not.
	It's not.
	Everybody should be yelling in your ear about your potential.
	Bro, you listen to this show.
	If you're not burning up the tracks to become an entrepreneur, I don't know what you're doing.
	So, let's say, are you surrounded by cynical people who won't maximize their potential out of generalized Nietzschean resentment or something like that?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	All right.
	And those were the ones like, oh yeah, you gotta go and take care of your abusive mom, man.
	That's correct, yep.
	Okay.
	So you have a family, they're just a shitty family that drags you down and keeps you from your potential.
	Yep.
	As most friendships generally do.
	Okay.
	So in this world, you cannot find quality women.
	Because quality women don't want to hang out with a bunch of lazy losers.
	And I'm not putting you in that category, I'm saying about your friends.
	I get you, right?
	I get you, yep.
	Are there any quality women in your social circle?
	I've met one I thought was high quality, yep.
	And who was she in the social circle?
	How did she get in there?
	I met her at one of these dating events and stuff like that.
	I met her at one of them.
	Oh, that's not in your social circle then?
	Yeah, no.
	Is it in my personal circle?
	No.
	No.
	Okay.
	Are there any successful marriages with children in your social circle?
	No.
	So what are you doing?
	Why are you hanging around this trash eat man?
	What are you doing?
	In this short life that you have and your dating window for a family is closing like a mother, right?
	Yeah, I agree.
	So what are you doing?
	what are you hanging out in this trash planet for?
	What I want to say is I want to say that I don't know where to find these people, but it's kind of surprising.
	They're not where you are.
	They're not where your friends are.
	And let's say you meet a quality woman and she says, Oh, what have you been up to?
	She says, Well, I spent a couple of years taking care of my abusive mother and now I hang around with loser friends.
	Is she going to want to join your life?
	Of course not.
	So you gotta have a life that people want to join.
	Everything you do is an advertisement.ement.
	When you're single, you gotta have the kind of life and the kind of social circle.
	Imagine some really quality virtuous, intelligent, perceptive, moral woman comes and spends a weekend with your friends at a cottage.
	What does she think?
	Yes, she wouldn't want to come back.
	Why not?
	What would your friends be doing that would be repellent to her?
	Lack of intellectual conversations.
	It would seem like there's false people everywhere.
	It would seem like there's false people.
	What do you mean by false?
	False.
	People that they're not honest with themselves with the reasons why they do things or they've married people for reasons that I don't think they're long-lasting reasons.
	I think they're going to have significant trouble in the future.
	As aesthetic reasons like you were discussing before, looks.
	I think that's going to come out obvious.
	what else would they be doing?
	And on nonsense activities like non-intellectual kind of based activities with Would she have any issues with their moral qualities?
	Yes, yes, yes, I would.
	I'm not anyone in my circle.
	What issues would she have with their moral qualities?
	I don't think they have a hard line with anything.
	They don't do wrong.
	It's the aceous speech.
	It's the aceous argument that they gave you.
	So they don't steal because they don't feel good about stealing.
	Well, did they know about your history with your parents?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	And not one of them ever said, Are you sure this is the right thing to do to just spend Years and years taking care of your mom when she was a really bad mom.
	Yeah, no, no one said that.
	Okay, so they're NPCs.
	Yeah.
	I mean, they're just full of clichés and sentiment and bullshit, right?
	Yeah, that's fair.
	Yeah.
	Do any of them think originally?
	Do any of them challenge narratives?
	Do any of them think for themselves?
	I don't think so.
	If you bring up a complex topic, they'll just go down the route of each one to their own or some nonsense like that.
	Right.
	It is what it is.
	Right.
	Yes, exactly.
	Right.
	Exactly.
	Right.
	Okay.
	So is the problem with you dating that some women have a high body count.
	It's very minimal now.
	It really isn't the issue.
	What is the issue with your dating?
	I have a terrible circle and why would they want to be around that?
	You're hiding out and killing your balls and drowning them in the lazy oceans of people's low quality.
	Yep.
	Yep, I agree.
	And your friends, look, man, if your friends are losers, what is their relationship with your potential?
	success?
	They want me to fail.
	They want you to fail.
	Yep.
	Which is why they're not encouraging you to date, which is why they encourage you to take care of your mom.
	Is anyone sitting there and saying, Bro, I mean, come on, 35, let's sit down and figure, let's get a game plan so that you can get married, because I know you want to get married.
	Like, is anyone doing that?
	And they're like, Yeah, come have a beer, no problem, everything will work out.
	Yep, second option, 100%.
	Yep.
	Quicksand, and you said that your father sabotaged himself.
	You are doing it too.
	Doing the same thing, yeah.
	With your friends, your quote friends.
	Yeah, yeah, I agree.
	A lot of what people call friendships are self-fulfilling prophecies of decay.
	Okay, interesting.
	Yeah.
	They love you not for what you could be, but for what you ain't.
	And they will steadfastly attack you should you try and step out of line or try to improve things.
	Oh, you think you're so much better than us.
	You know, we're not good enough for you now.
	Blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Just the usual boat anchors to the balls, lower class trash that keeps people down.
	Yeah.
	Well, that's a good one.
	Yeah.
	Do they know that you're interested in philosophy?
	I have told them many times.
	Yeah.
	And what do they think if you're interested in philosophy?
	I don't think they even understand what it would mean.
	Okay, so you can't live there and procreate and you can't leave.
	At least you haven't yet, right?
	That's right, that's right, I agree, yep.
	So, listen, you just have to understand the choice that's in your life.
	If you stay where you are, you're not getting married.
	Because these are the kind of guys too, I guarantee you.
	I guarantee you this, man., you bring a quality woman around these kinds of guys, you know what they're going to do?
	They're going to kinda poke fun of you and they're going to kinda put you down and they're going to kinda make you look bad and they're going to tell stories about when you did something stupid and they're going to try and downgrade her opinion of you to the point where she fucks off elsewhere.
	Yeah.
	Oh man, you can't take a joke.
	I'm just joking, man.
	It was funny.
	It happened, you know?
	He got so drunk that he did this and he did that.
	And they're just going to put you down.
	Or they're going to display their own worst behaviors to drive her out.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	100%.
	So if you want to get married, you can't find a quality woman with these kinds of trashy losers around.
	Now, if you don't want to get married and you want to hang out with the friends, be quote friends, hey, you know, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I am going to tell you what the choices are.
	Yeah, no, that's a good, that's a good way to put it.
	So, when did you last have a relationship?
	Please tell me it wasn't 26.
	A relationship with a female?
	Sure, yeah.
	Yeah, I'd say 26.
	Okay, so it's been almost a decade.
	28, 26 or whatever it is, yeah.
	22 to 26 and then it took a couple of years to get over, then your mom got sick, right?
	Yeah.
	So is it the case that you've had one substantive girlfriend over the course of your life?
	I had one when I was younger, when I was 18, but that was probably like maybe four months.
	So what are you doing with your sex drive?
	I don't really have one.
	I don't use porn or anything like that, no.
	So you don't lust after women?
	I'm sorry.
	I don't know.
	I just want to make sure I understand what you mean.
	Um, no, I do find women attractive.
	I just, uh, don't do anything about it.
	So you do have a sex drive, but you don't act on it or you don't have a sex drive?
	Yeah, that's fair.
	No, I do.
	I just don't act on it yet.
	Okay.
	And what's your worst case scenario?
	So when when was the last time you saw a woman that you found attractive out in public or somewhere, anywhere?
	Oh, I guess at the dating, this speed dating thing or something, right?
	Yeah, yeah.
	I mean, there's I do find women attractive as a whole if they're in reasonable shape.
	So I can go find attractive women.
	Like I was at the beach this morning.
	So at the beach this morning.
	Okay, so you see an attractive woman and what is your worst case scenario if you go up and say hi?
	It's it makes it sound so simple.
	What I think is going to happen is it absolutely no, it absolutely is simple.
	You just go up and you say hi and see if she's friendly, she's nice, see if you can if you find stuff to talk about.
	Right?
	And then if you find stuff to talk about and you end up chatting away and, you know, maybe you could exchange numbers, it is it's simple.
	I mean, not saying it's easy, but it is simple.
	Yeah, I know.
	I agree.
	Okay, so what's your worst case case scenario if you go up and say, Hi?
	I feel like I'm going to be destroyed.
	What does that mean?
	Destroyed how?
	Like she's going to have laser eyes or what, reduce you to ash?
	What do you mean?
	How do I explain it?
	It feels like if I get or when I get rejected that, um, it shouldn't be anywhere near as much of a toll as what I feel like it is.
	It feels like, um, complete eradication feels like I'm not, I don't exist.
	And do you know why you feel that?
	I don't know why I feel that.
	I don't know why you feel that.
	Um, because that's how I want to say because that's how I was treated when I was younger.
	Sure.
	I mean, you have no bond with your parents.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	If you were unhappy, they didn't care.
	If you didn't want to go to school, they didn't care.
	Just stick you on the fucking bus.
	And, right?
	So your parents didn't have a bond with you.
	And they did not.
	uh sacrifice for you in the way that would express true love you said they barely interacted with you they didn't seek out your company they didn't enjoy your your presence.
	You were just kind of an irritant and an annoyance and something to be taken care of, like an unwanted pet.
	Do I have that wrong?
	No, you don't.
	No, that's correct.
	100%.
	Okay.
	So you're still judging yourself by your abusers or neglectors standards.
	Yep.
	Yep.
	That's fair.
	I agree.
	Okay.
	Why would you do that?
	I mean, why would your parents have credibility in your 30s?
	17 years after you moved out.
	Why would your parents still have credibility in your mind given that they were spectacularly unsuccessful parents and unsuccessful people.
	They could not keep their marriage going.
	They did not make their only child happy.
	They kind of messed him up.
	And your dad cheated on your mom broke his vows.
	She left the family or divorced him, broke her vows.
	So why would people who made such terrible and sometimes deeply immoral decisions have any credibility with you at all?
	That would be like me waking up every day saying, well, I guess Wikipedia's right.
	I would corrupt people have credibility with you.
	Um, what would they have?
	Logically, there's no reason.
	Why would I still hold them?
	I'm not, I want to say.
	I feel like I'm, I still, I don't know, I still feel like I'm worthless, but that's just me holding them in my head, right?
	Um...
	So you're doing what they want you to do, which is to have a need for them.
	for them yep To have a need for their approval.
	So that's right.
	I mean, there are evil people in the world who call me evil, and they're way behind the times because the first evil person.
	to call me evil was my own mother, right?
	So that's true.
	So, not that she didn't call me evil, but you know, she hated me and that kind of stuff, right?
	So, I know that corrupt people dislike good people.
	Being called evil by evildoers is a mark of honor to anyone with half a eye to see, right?
	Yeah.
	So, were your parents good people?
	No.
	So the fact that they didn't like you, the fact that they didn't care about you, is indicative of their cold hearts, not your intrinsic value.
	I mean, if you paint a picture and a blind man comes up and says, Oh, I hate those colors, do you take him seriously?
	No.
	If somebody says to me, Steph, I hate your haircut, I mean, it's still nice when I go to the barber and they say, How do you want it?
	I'm like, There, right?
	So somebody without the capacity to judge should have no credibility in your mind regarding their judgment.
	A deaf person cannot judge your symphony, a blind person cannot judge your paintings, right?
	Yep.
	A person with no sense of smell can't judge your perfume.
	So how can people with no sense of honor or virtue or love or decency or morality judge you and have you believe it?
	Judge your judgers.
	Yeah.
	It's the essence to any shred of self-respect in this life.
	Judge the people.
	Judge the fuck out of the people who judge you.
	Yep.
	Judge those who find you wanting.
	Are they good?
	Are they moral?
	Are they truthful?
	Are they honorable?
	Are they decent?
	Have they remonstrated with you or tried to improve you?
	Or do they just throw acid bombs like they pour boiling pitch over the side of a medieval castle during combat?
	Judge the people who judge you.
	How fucking dare you judge yourself by your parents' view?
	How dare you?
	What an insult that is to your potential.
	Everybody in this world who does good is slammed and attacked by evildoers.
	And you survive and flourish on the fact that people go ahead with their plans to provide you electricity, to build roads, to do good in the world, to solve problems to become moral.
	You survive because people push through the skepticism and contempt of the losers around them.
	Just about everybody who's ever achieved anything has had to borrow through the icy shitstorm of skepticism and cynicism from losers.
	I mean, what do you think my friends thought about when I said, I'm going to build the world's biggest philosophy show?
	Yeah, right.
	Yeah, pull another one, right?
	Who are you to blah, blah, blah, right?
	So how dare you judge your potential by the indifference and scorn of pathetic losers?
	That is an insult to you, and it is an insult to what you're capable of.
	And you've got to stop doing it.
	And I don't care if you get laid or get a family or anything out of that.
	I care that you stop judging yourself by the standards of losers and failures.
	Yeah, no, that's a good point.
	Because if you judge yourself by that standards, how can you ask a woman to love you?
	The reason that you...
	you avoid women is because if someone loves you genuinely loves you it will burn your entire social circle down to the fucking ground.
	Once you have experienced what it means to be genuinely loved, your life is the opposite of what it was.
	It's like those people who could look at negatives back in the old days of chemical development of film.
	They could look at negatives, they could see all the colors, they could see the exact, I look at that, just looks weird, right?
	Like some ghostly image, right?
	They can look at it.
	So when you get truly loved, it ignites your heart and scares all of the demons and shadows away from your soul.
	When you get genuinely loved, it sends you so high that you merge with space and can see the whole world.
	When you are truly loved, any foundational doubts evaporate in your life.
	When you are truly loved and somebody sees the potential that you have, it manifests that potential for you and gives you infinite fuel to go as far and as high as your abilities can take you.
	Without love, everybody is just pacing around the grave waiting to fall in.
	Without love, everybody is just killing time until time kills them, which it will.
	And you got to step out of this bullshit circular comfort zone of luciddom and say, I can earn love.
	I've been into philosophy for half a decade plus.
	I can earn love.
	I can stand up.
	I can stand tall.
	I can do the right thing.
	I can inspire people.
	I can build something in this life that will last the test of time.
	Whatever that will be, a family, a business, a book.
	I don't care.
	Anything.
	Anything.
	But I will not circle the drain.
	until the footstomp of mortality grinds me into jelly in the vents.
	I will not waste time until I get wasted by time itself.
	You've seen your mother die for years.
	You know what is coming.
	And you better do something before it arrives.
	Or you have squandered and wasted the greatest gift in the known universe, which is the possession of three pounds of wetware between our ears.
	And you have potential.
	Everybody who's listening to this has amazing potential.
	Incredible abilities, top tier minds.
	I'm not kidding about any of this.
	I'm not just boom, smoke, smoke up at your ass.
	I've been around this block long enough.
	I've been doing philosophy for 40 years.
	And if you don't manifest your potential, it is a sin against the great gift of your existence.
	Imagine being an amoeba in the ocean, or imagine being a bacteria in the asshole of an asshole, and what they wouldn't trade to have your brain.
	your opportunities imagine being some stupid asteroid just floating around doing nothing but rotating around the sun halfway between earth and mars and what it wouldn't give to manifest itself with your choices your abilities and your freedoms the entire universe orbits around the human mind.
	And to be in possession of the coalesced star stuff that is able to think larger than the entire universe for the brief span that we have and not manifest everything that you're capable of is an absolute sin against everything that can be done with the amazing brains that were given.
	And how dare you take that gift?
	and grind it into fine, useless, dusty cinnamon powder on the altar of shitty people who achieved nothing.
	Nothing but causing suffering to themselves and others over the course of this life.
	How dare you, how dare you take this gift and waste it?
	You cannot, you cannot do it.
	It will make you miserable and it will make those around you miserable.
	Now, you succeeding, you saying I'm worthy of love, you achieving something great, that will also annoy people around you and they will look at you askance and they will roll their eyes and they will say, Oh, oh, you think you're all that and you're not too good for us.
	It's like, yeah, yes, absolutely.
	I'm too good for you.
	Yes, this is what I said to people, You think you're too good for us?
	Yes, I do.
	I knew people wasting their potential.
	I knew people in bad relationships, in bad marriages, with bad relationships with their kids, and they're like, Oh, you think you're better than me?
	It's like, I fucking hope so.
	Holy shit, if I end up my life not being better than you, I've wasted it all.
	God grant me the strength to be better than the people I grew up with.
	Lord above, it is a form of absolute vanity to think that you know the cap on your own potential.
	You don't, I don't.
	What can you do?
	I don't know, but a hell of a lot more than you are doing.
	And deep down, I'm trying to awaken that niggling ghost that is chained on the indifference, hostility, scorn, and contempt of others.
	I'm trying to break those chains, open that door, let it free, let it unfurl its wings, let it take you to greater heights.
	How dare you, with a mind like yours lurk down among the trolls and orcs and beasts and denizens of the deep?
	How dare you, while still alive, muck about in a graveyard of other people's broken ambitions and call yourself happy or anything.
	You have to manifest your potential.
	It's what we're here for and it is a sin to do less.
	If you have the ability to make beautiful music, make beautiful music.
	If you have the ability to start a business that satisfies customers and is a good place for people to work, do that.
	If you have the capacity to just be a great friend and give good advice, do that.
	If you have the capacity to write, do that.
	but don't muck around.
	We are like statues of sand in a strong wind.
	We get blown away a little more every day, and eventually we just dissolve into the dust from which we came, and nothing is left.
	If we don't achieve, then emptiness and regret, and also, if you achieve, it is fundamentally inspiring to others.
	It breaks them free of the chains of their own broken histories.
	We are all these angel ghosts trapped in the dungeons of low expectations, and when you break free and burrow through the fucking tunnel and break through all of the cinder blocks to the actual sky itself, everyone else is like, damn, we could do that?
	Let's do it!
	Be as an inspiration to yourself and to others, but every time you lower yourself down, you give up on your potential.
	You waste another weekend, you waste another week, and there's nothing wrong with wasting time from time to time.
	We can't all be galley slaves of our own potential you've got to work and you've got to rest you need time off between exercise but every time you give up and you let fall, you are giving permission for other people to give up and let fall.
	And eventually, we all fall, or eventually we're all going to rise and you are the person who makes that choice and provides that example in everyone around you and yeah people will be annoyed people will be annoyed i get that and maybe they'll be inspired later or maybe somebody that you meet who's on the teetering edge of calamity or potential will be inspired but do something and Stop letting the people who thought you were worthless define your value.
	That is lazy as fuck.
	It is unworthy of your potential.
	And the last thing I'll say is, do not, do not, do not, do not let the bad guys win.
	Do not let the evil trolls who try to define you as negative win conquest of your soul.
	Do not put them in the driver's seat.
	Do not give them the map and directions.
	Do not make them the GPS.
	Do not let the bad guys win.
	I'm sorry about how you were treated as a kid.
	I'm sorry that you poured a lot of effort into a woman who abused you.
	And I'm sorry that she drank you dry as she died like any...
	Your parents treated you with indifference and contempt.
	I'm really sorry about that.
	Don't let them win.
	You didn't have a choice then about what you had to believe about yourself in order to survive.
	You've had a choice for a long time now and you've got to exercise it.
	Do not let the bad guys win.
	Do not let the people who treat you with contempt rule your soul.
	Be alive and awake to your potential and yes, when you grow, it will be scary and your inner parents will revolt and say, You can't or you won't or it's stupid or it won't work or it's bad or it's wrong but that's all the shit they told themselves why on earth would you listen to it?
	They failed and your friends fail because they hold themselves down.
	Why on earth would you want to hold yourself down for the sake of the companionship of the broken?
	I mean, if you go hiking with a friend and he breaks his leg, do you then just break your own leg?
	Well, we got to have stuff in common.
	No, don't let the bad guys win.
	And I think right now they are.
	Does that make sense?
	100%, yep.
	All right.
	All right.
	Well, keep me posted about how it's going.
	And I really do appreciate your time today.
	let's talk to Reynard to close off the show.
	Thank you, man.
	Raynard, what is on your mind, my friend?
	Going once.
	We may have him not.
	We may have him.
	We may have him not.
	All right, well, I guess I blew him away with my last speech.
	All right, let's try...
	Vincent, what is on your mind?
	Vincent, what is on your mind?
	So far, can you hear me?
	Hello, hello?
	Yes, Vincent, what's on your mind?
	Hi, Safan, always an honor to speak to you.
	Hey, so I have, I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing.
	Well, I'm pretty sure it is the right thing, but I've been sharing you lately with my family members and it seems like I'm getting a negative reaction from them.
	I think there's a lot of trauma on the family in the family.
	Sorry, how old are you?
	I am 27.
	Okay, and what was your childhood like?
	So neglect.
	There was a lot of my childhood is sustainable.
	is defined by solitude, a lot of solitude.
	And yeah.
	Divorced parents, mom was neglectful, dad wasn't there.
	And how old were you when your parents got divorced?
	I was four years old.
	Wow.
	I'm really sorry about that.
	And did you stay mostly with your mom or your dad or both?
	My dad decided to leave, right?
	He was out there partying and making it hard for us.
	And my mom, so I was with my mom most of the time, but she was working and she was pretty neglectful and emotionally abusive.
	I'm sorry, I'm really sorry about all this.
	In what way was she emotionally abusive?
	Comparing me to my dad, comparing me to everybody, like anyone else that wasn't me.
	And yeah, just not present at all.
	You know, she, when I was like twenty years old, I would never have committed suicide, but I was, we were having so many problems.
	I briefly like thought of it and I was like, okay, I'm going to go to the mental hospital, just get some good sleep.
	So, you know, that's when things like, you know, like she kicked me out and stuff like that.
	So, I'm sorry, but hold on, hold on, hold on.
	So you went to the mental hospital and then she kicked you out because of that?
	No, but there was like a lot of issues, we were having a lot of issues.
	But afterwards, like, things didn't get better.
	So, you know, I was kicked out.
	The house that me and her bought together, not that I put down anything, but I was on the mortgage.
	She was like, yeah, you need to get off the mortgage and move out, you know, so that's what I did.
	So why are you trying to fix this family?
	I'm thinking about leaving this family at this point because I feel like everyone is so dysfunctional and there is no hope.
	And I just thought, you know, I'll give it, you know, I'll at least share it with you once or twice.
	But it bothers me so much.
	I can't stand being in this family, uh, any more.
	So I'm in the process of, you know, I'm alone in my life anyway.
	So, you know, I'm in the process of leaving this family.
	And I I'm sorry that it's come to that, but I completely understand the decision, or at least I think I do.
	You called me up and you said you've been sharing some of my work.
	What have you shared with them just out of curiosity?
	Very interesting.
	Recently, I've been trying to improve my relationship with my uncles and other, you know, like other close family.
	And I realized that my grandma was extremely abusive and she had a very bad childhood.
	Like, I don't think you could.
	It's a huge story maybe for another day because it is pretty extensive.
	But grandma had a bad childhood.
	She, severe, like she should have been thrown in prison.
	She was abusing her kids, really bad, my uncles and stuff like that.
	And they've all destroyed out of nine children, Stephan, nine got divorced and have made a mess out of their lives.
	So I'm sure that tells you a lot.
	Right.
	But you didn't answer my question.
	Oh, sorry.
	Well, what work of mine have you shared with them?
	I shared a recent one here.
	I have it right here so I can tell you exactly what.
	So I shared.
	I shared Peaceful Parenting.
	I shared your main page, your books.
	What else?
	Okay, so that's fine.
	So books and the main page and peaceful parenting.
	And what has the response been?
	Um, so after we had a different relation or conversation about it, I told them to please, you know, like, um, you know, like they shared all this trauma with me and I'm a you know, your parents, sorry, your family members shared all their trauma with you.
	Yeah, which I think is inappropriate.
	Uh, yeah.
	It depends.
	I mean, what, you mean your parents?
	They were my uncles.
	Okay, so you shared my work with your uncles.
	and they sort of trauma dumped on you?
	They trauma dumped.
	I said, hey, you know what?
	Like, I, you know, I empathize with your guys' experience, you know, really, really bad.
	I'm sorry that your guys' kids' relationship with your own kids is so bad.
	You really need to listen to this stuff.
	You need to read this.
	You know, this is my favorite contemporary philosopher and I think he's great.
	You know, please check him out and then let me know what you guys think.
	And it's been like two, three weeks and they haven't gotten back to me, you know, about it.
	Okay.
	All right.
	And these men are in their 40s and 50s or something like that?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	And they've messed up their own families?
	Yep.
	So why are you sending a book on peaceful parenting to people who've already messed up their own kids and their kids are adults?
	Well, it's like, hey, I gave it my best shots and so I can move on.
	Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
	did you think would happen when you sent i mean would it be fair to call them abusive parents or is that too strong?
	I think they, yeah, I think that everybody has been abusive in the family.
	Okay.
	So if you're sending a Peaceful Parenting book to people who've already messed up their own kids, what was your theory about what would happen?
	What was your thought about what would happen from that?
	I did expect, I expect, you know, like, for them to just throw it under the rug.
	I think I'm shaking the boat and the boat doesn't want to be shocked so they just ignored it and that's kind of what I expected.
	Okay, so it's too painful.
	You expected because it's kind of like if someone's dying of lung cancer from smoking for 40 years and then you send them a book on how to quit smoking, isn't that kind of cruel?
	I guess you're right, you know, do you recommend just No, no, hang on, let's deal with your motives.
	Okay.
	And this is not, none of this is a criticism, right?
	I'm just curious, what do you think your motives were on sending people who've messed up their own kids a book on how to be a good parent when it's too late?
	To I want to help them, you know, and I want to have a relationship with them.
	I want them, their life to be better.
	I'm not sure about that.
	I'm not saying I'm right.
	I'm just saying I have doubt about that.
	Okay.
	Can they fix their parenting?
	I think it would be really hard because not even, you know, even my own mother, who I've shared more of your stuff, there has been no progress.
	And actually, hang on.
	You got to learn to answer questions.
	And you can not.
	You don't have to answer the questions, but don't ignore them.
	Can they fix that?
	Can the people whose children have grown up, can they fix their parenting?
	Not the parenting.
	No.
	So, are you angry at the bad parents in your family?
	Yeah.
	Is it possible that you sent them this book because you're angry?
	Yes, and specifically to my mom, I want her to, I want her to have a little bit of agony, you know, at least because I suffered a lot of agony, so yeah, you know.
	And I'm not nagging you about this.
	I'm not complaining about this.
	But you're a very intelligent guy.
	And to send bad parents whose children have already grown up a book on all of their mistakes, is that not salt and a wound?
	Salting the wound.
	Causing pain.
	Let me ask you this.
	Let me ask it a different way.
	your uncles, they have children of their own.
	Are those They're going to be parents.
	They are going to be parents.
	Okay.
	So wouldn't you send the book to people who can fix their parenting?
	And I am, you know, I've been improving my cousin relationships because I do plan on sharing your work.
	So I've been working on it.
	But you haven't shared peaceful parenting with the actual parents, only with the people whose kids are grown.
	My cousins are too young.
	I'd be on the older generation.
	But yeah, they don't have kids just yet., but I I have shared it to my sister and who is a parent and some friends I've shared your work as well.
	No, but listen, I'm not again, I'm not trying to nag you or anything like that, but I think it's important to look at your own motives and if you send a book on peaceful parenting to your mother with a kind of, you know, gonna get her, right?
	And listen, I'm not complaining about that impulse.
	I'm not complaining about that, but I think I think that you need to be pretty rigorously, I wouldn't say honest because I'm not like you're lying to yourself, but you say, okay., I want to send a book on peaceful parenting to people who kind of messed up their own kids and it's too late to fix.
	Why do I want to do that?
	Now, if you are angry and it makes sense to me that you are, I think it's important to feel that anger and to admit that anger rather than kind of passively aggressively sending them books that are designed in a sense or would have the effect of hurting them for things that they can no longer fix.
	In other words, I think you want to create the sense of helplessness and unhappiness in them that they created in you when you were a kid.
	I will push back a little bit because on my uncles, I do love them.
	They've been kind with me and they've.
	given me the only like fatherly experiences I have in my young adulthood.
	My mom, I it's kind of like at this point I feel so much agony over our relationship.
	Okay, so hang on, hang on.
	So, and I'm not saying you're wrong.
	Obviously, it's your life, so don't take anything I'm saying with authority.
	I did ask you earlier if you were angry at your uncles or the abusive parents in your family, and you said yes.
	And are you saying that your uncles were abusive parents, but you love them?
	On behalf of their children, I'm angry at them for not being better, but I don't I don't feel direct anger towards them.
	So you can love you can love those who abuse children.
	Oof.
	I guess, I mean, I obviously I don't love the abuse, but I do, you know, like they treated me good, so I don't like hate them, but no, I don't love people that abuse children.
	So that's a challenge, right?
	Absolutely, yeah.
	I mean, we can only love virtue.
	And the fact that they treated you well, listen, I'm glad that you had that experience of being treated well.
	But a lot of times.
	Sometimes people can be kind to children that aren't theirs.
	I mean, we see this with grandparents and grandkids, right?
	The grandparents may have been jerks to their own kids, but then they're great to the grandkids, or, you know, my mother would be nice to other kids and not nice to me, so it's a form of camouflage for their own kids.
	And it's another way of being mean to their own kids to say, look, I can be perfectly nice to other kids, just not to you, because you're difficult or you don't listen or you're bad or whatever, right?
	So it is in the consistency that virtue is required, and if they were bad to their own kids but good to you, does not make them good people.
	In fact, it might make them worse.
	I I very much agree with that.
	And one thing I want to add to it is that I find it difficult to have a relationship with them because, like, let me put this into words one second.
	I want to have a relationship with them, but they are so unhealthy.
	I am forced to be the adult in the relationship and then they're trauma dump dumping on me.
	Sorry, in what way are they, when you say unhealthy, do you mean physically or emotionally or in some other way?
	Say that again.
	When you said they're unhealthy, do you mean physically or emotionally or in some other way?
	Your uncles.
	Well, you know, alcoholic, alcoholism, lots of issues.
	You know, they'll bring up their own issues with their children.
	And I am, I feel like I start doing the parenting to them, giving, you know, take the role of a parent.
	And I think that's in kind of like, I don't, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm shaking the belt one last time, but I don't want to have that decision because I'm, I'm the junior and they're the elders, I'm the junior and I don't want to be the parent.
	Well, and you know, they can't fix their parenting if their kids are already grown.
	And the other thing too, and listen, I'm really, really sorry about having this family situation.
	I mean, I'm very sorry about what happened for you as a kid and I just big bro hug from across the universe.
	But, but you have to look at things from the viewpoint of a quality moral woman.
	Do you want to get married and have kids of your own?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So a quality moral woman.
	comes into your family environment.
	What does she see?
	And does she want them to take care of her kids as well?
	Yeah, they I've heard that argument from you as well.
	And and when I took my ex girlfriend there, I was embarrassed because they were just drinking and, you know, it was just not a high quality family situation.
	So yeah.
	Yeah, you can't be judged as higher quality than your lowest quality relationship.
	In a chain is only as strong as its weakest link, right?
	So you have to be pretty rigorous if you want high quality people in your life that if you want high quality people to come into your life, you can't have low quality people in your life.
	And they'll just turn around and walk the other way, you know, with sympathy and all of that.
	But no, I mean, because you don't want, you know, there's a sort of chilling phrase that goes through the minds of women.
	I'll just talk about women in this case in particular, but kind of a chilling phrase where a woman is like, what am I doing here?
	You know, he's a nice guy, but what am I doing here?
	Like with these people, you know, if they're drinking and loud and obnoxious and, you know, coarse and like at some point the woman of quality is going to be like, okay, what am I doing here?
	This is.
	is not the place for me.
	This is not where I should be.
	This is not going to work for me.
	And I'm sure you've had that experience too with your uncles with their drinking or being coarse or obnoxious or loud or whatever it is, right?
	That you're like, what am I doing here?
	What am I doing here?
	And so that is an important thing to see.
	How does your life look for people you're trying to bring in?
	Is it inviting?
	Is it quality?
	Are they going to be elevated?
	Are they going to be happy?
	Are they going to be positive about the experience?
	What is the environment you're asking people into, right?
	If you're asking a woman over for dinner, you don't want underwear all over the couch and, you know, bugs all over the kitchen and, and, you know, trying to cook meat that's been on the counter for two days, right?
	I mean, because she's going to turn around and be like, good lord, guy doesn't have the common sense God gave a goose, right?
	So yeah, you have to look at yourself from the outside in.
	What is it?
	What are you inviting people in to?
	What are you inviting people in?
	What are they going to see?
	And it's hard to see our lives from the outside in because, you know, we're inside.
	We get used to it and we acclimatize to it.
	It's like if you've been in really cold water for a while, it doesn't feel c cold anymore.
	I remember when I was 15 or 16, I visited a friend of mine's father, a friend of mine's father who's a marine biologist out on the east coast.
	And I remember swimming in like crazy cold water.
	And there were all these fish around and I had my snorkel and it was kind of a new experience for me and I just loved it.
	And they were like, how could you possibly spend three hours in that water?
	I came out blue, but I didn't feel cold.
	Of course, when I first went in, I was just, oh my god, it's freezing.
	But then I got so excited, I stayed in and all of that.
	And you've acclimatized to this and it's hard to.
	de-acclimatize, but the point is, it doesn't matter what temperature you feel the water is, you've got to figure out how it feels to someone just coming in, and you've got to look at your whole environment from the side in.
	In the same way, like if I have a product that I love, I have to look at it from the side as if I'd never heard of it or seen it before, which is kind of what advertising is for, to try and help people to see the product in the way that the people who love it see it as well.
	So it's really important to look at your life from the side because that's all the people you're going to invite into your life are going to see it from the side, but that's all the stuff you've gotten used to.
	So anyway, is there anything else you wanted to mention?
	I really do appreciate that.
	call there.
	Yeah, Sepan.
	So I think what I'm up against is, you know, and I'm not saying it as a like, woe is me, because I'm already used to solitude.
	I'm in a city all by myself, right?
	But I think I'm up against a lot of solitude, you know, because I think I'm going to have to cut it, cut out everyone.
	And I feel, you know, I've been feeling a lot of anagony trying to have a relationship with them and it just sucks.
	No, and listen, I mean, if you can join groups, sports groups, cooking groups, dance groups, any kind of group it's really really we are social animals and we really really do need to have people in our lives who we can get along with who we're interested in so you know dating groups meetups political groups uh obviously i think it's better on the libertarian side but there are lots of things that you can do to really make sure that you
	have that kind of social circle that you need.
	I'm also, of course, a big fan of talk therapy.
	And if you're going through big challenges in your life, and particularly if you're contemplating taking any kind of break from a family of origin, I've always strongly recommended and will continue to reiterate that that it's really important to talk to a therapist during that process because it is a real challenge to go through.
	But yeah, really work on trying to get and you can successfully get.
	I mean, gosh, I mean, I met my wife joining a pickup volleyball group sometimes.
	There are bicycle groups, there are people who are hiking groups, running groups, you can hang out with people who work out together, there's lots of things that you can do.
	I mean, even if you go join a yoga class and chat with people, like there's lots of things that you can do to find people with similar interests and meet up.
	If you're interested in this show, you can of course poke around on the various forums that I have, freedomand dot com slash connect, see if there's anyone else in your city who would be interested in meeting up and talking about philosophy.
	So yeah, just really, really work to keep your social life going and that is going to take some effort to do that, but it's well worth doing in my opinion.
	And Sassan, I know you gotta go, but lastly, do you think I should, you know, just not, you know, share the work with my cousins, obviously, you know, the ones that can do something about their parenting and stuff and just disconnect,
	stop shaking the boat, because I do feel like I'm maybe putting myself in danger and making myself a target if I keep pushing, you know, unfortunately, or, you know, just pushing for a healthier mentality.
	What do you mean by in danger or making yourself a target?
	I just feel like I've become more, you know, like I was, I was liked, you know, obviously like my uncles love me, but I can't have a relationship with them because I find them toxic.
	And if they're, you know, if they're having a negative reaction or ignoring you.
	What I say, well, that's not much of a relationship for me.
	So, you know, it's like I feel like I'm moving on at this point, or at least that's how I'm feeling emotionally.
	And just not push, not rock the boat, and just keep them at arm's length seems like the appropriate response.
	Well, and of course, you know me well enough to know that I could never and would never tell you what to do with regards to your family.
	I think it's important to be honest with the people in your life.
	You don't have to be in relationships with people who are hostile and negative towards you or abusive towards you, but honesty is well worth having in relationships as to whether you should or shouldn't tell your family i'll say the same as i always say which is i don't know but i do i do recommend honesty and if it looks like it's not working out with your family i usually strongly and deeply recommend connecting with a therapist to a talk therapist to help you with those issues because it is a big challenge and it's a very it's a big it's a big emotional pill to
	swallow and uh it probably is good to have some professional help in your corner during that process but yeah i can't tell you whether to do or not certainly if you feel like you might be in any kind of danger i'm not saying you are but you know if you were at, I don't know, hey, Steph, I'm in the mafia and I'm thinking of going to the cops.
	I'm like, yeah, that's risky.
	So, you know, you don't want to end up sleeping with the fishes.
	So that would be something to be cautious about.
	You're not talking about anything like that.
	But yeah, I would certainly say that, you know, work on being honest and stay until you get some kind of closure.
	And hopefully the closure is them opening their hearts and warming up to these kinds of things.
	If that's not the case.
	you're free to not be in relationships where you can't be honest.
	But yeah, if you're looking at that kind of transition, talk.
	Talk therapy is is very much the way to go.
	Okay.
	Well, thank you very much.
	I think I'm going to rock the boat a little bit more and then, you know, proceed to exit if that's the case.
	But hey, always very much appreciate your insights.
	I hope you have a good rest of your night.
	I'm going to turn off the mic now.
	Thanks, brother.
	Appreciate that.
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	Thanks everyone.
	Have yourself a lovely evening.
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	You can join that at fdrurl dot com slash locals.
	Otherwise, I will see you Wednesday, if not before.

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