All Episodes
Previous Next
June 11, 2025 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
01:43:54
My Mother is DYING! Freedomain Call In
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Hi Steph, my mother has been hospitalized and might die soon.
I didn't have a good loving mother-son relationship and it has gotten worse since I moved out of her house.
During the last couple of years I didn't contact her much and I was sure in my mind I had all the reasons not to.
I grew up in a fatherless home and had many issues with her over the years that I lived with her.
She has had a heart problem recently and she needed to be hospitalized.
I spoke to her doctor and he said to me that I need to be prepared for the worst.
Even if she makes it out this time that this problem is not likely to take long to reappear in her life.
Basically, she doesn't have so much long to live.
I wonder whether I was too harsh on her over the past few years.
I have been visiting her every day in the hospital, trying to bring her comfort and showing her that she's not alone.
I have been feeling a sinking sensation since I saw her in the hospital and been crying a lot that she might just be gone forever soon.
I have hoped for her recovery so that I can try to have a better relationship with her in her final years or how much time she has left.
I'm in a conflict between the feeling that I had before, she was hospitalized, and the feeling that I have now.
And I am paralyzed and I would like to hear your thoughts on this matter.
I don't know what kind of relationship I would have with her.
Should she recover or what should I do or say to make her imminent passing less painful to her and me?
Thank you.
Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about this.
How old are you and how old is your mother?
I am 31 now, sir, and she's 61. Oh, okay.
So she's doing poorly and she's not even that old, right?
Right.
She has diabetes.
She has blood pressure problems, high blood pressure.
Yeah.
Oh, is she very much overweight?
She used to be.
She used to be, but she lost quite a bit of weight after she got diabetic, but yeah, she used to be.
And how long ago did she lose the weight?
Oh, it was about 10 years ago.
Okay, so yeah, she was overweight.
Yeah, she was diagnosed with diabetes when she turned 50. Right, okay, okay.
Alright, so yeah, let's get a little bit of history of what was going on with your mom when you were younger.
When I used to live with her?
No, let's start with the childhood.
What was it like when you were a kid?
It was pretty lonely because I was alone most of the time.
She would work.
During the weekend, on the weekend, she usually would be tired to take me places, to just do something together.
She was too tired because she worked, she didn't take you places, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But she had a good financial situation, so she could buy me things, for example, video games, so I could be entertained.
But I think that I didn't have enough attention from my mother, the attention that I think that I was supposed to have, that any children is supposed to have, I think.
Do you have siblings?
No, I don't.
And where's your father?
Oh, there was a long history with my father.
I don't have contact with my father because when I was like two years old, he was arrested as he beat me.
He beat me hard and the neighbors called the police and then he was arrested for some time.
I don't know if he was scared to approach me again so that people would call the police.
But he just disappeared from my life.
He tried later on to approach me again when I was like 21 or 22 years old, but at this point I said, "Oh, what's the point, right?
I'm already grown up.
You weren't with me.
You weren't there for me all this time, so why bother?" How old were you when he was arrested?
I was two.
I don't remember much.
You were two?
Sorry, two years old?
Yeah, I was two years old, yeah.
Oh, so he was beating up on a little toddler.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Actually, people tell me that he was beating me.
He just beat me this time that he was arrested because I had pooped out of the...
Well, you're two.
I mean, you poop where you poop, right?
Yeah, right, right, right.
I don't know.
And it took some time to hear the people that knew my father and my mother when they were single and dating, to hear the perspective of other people about their relationships.
I think, in my opinion, it was a pretty toxic relationship that they had.
From what I heard, of course, I wasn't there to see, but some people, many people actually, some of my uncles, some of the people that I grew up around, all of them used to say that there were Some bad signs that he wasn't maybe a good fit to be anyone's father.
Do you know how long your parents were together before you came along?
About two years.
Okay, so they were together for two years.
Do you know if your father was violent to your mother?
Yeah, he was.
Especially when she was pregnant.
There was this time that she told me herself that he threatened her with a knife.
She was already pregnant with like five or six months of pregnancy.
So she had a relationship and gave a child to a guy who was kind of a psycho criminal.
Yeah, and a lot of people that I asked about him used to say that he would pick a fight with older people, but when some people his age, especially men, would say something to him, he wouldn't do anything.
He would shrink.
Yeah, I mean, the kind of guy who beats pregnant women and little kids is not courageous, right?
Yes, of course.
Sorry, go ahead.
Sorry, when I asked her if there were any, I asked her multiple times whether she saw some signs on him that maybe he wasn't a good man to be her husband, to be the father of her children.
She said, no, because people don't have stars on their foreheads, so you can know for sure.
From their behaviors.
That doesn't make any sense to me at all.
Come on, come on.
That's a lie.
That's just a lie.
The idea that there's a guy who's like a really good guy, and then a guy who beats up pregnant women and little toddlers and pulls a knife on his wife, that there's no way to know that he's any kind of bad guy.
That's just not true.
Yeah, I suppose.
I suppose.
Because I imagine myself in that kind of relationship and what I would do and I certainly would not.
I would not prefer to get married to such a person.
Sorry, your volume keeps getting louder and softer.
I don't know if you're further or closer away to the microphone, but if you could try and keep a constant distance between your mouth and the microphone, that would be helpful.
Okay, is that okay now?
That's great.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right.
Okay, so, and she didn't even protect you from him.
The neighbors did.
Yeah, because she was working.
No, no, no, no.
Oh, come on.
Please.
Please.
Are you saying that, okay, she was with him for two years, you came along, and...
Oh, I suppose she knew, yes, but I don't know.
I don't really know what to say to that.
Well, I just need you to not say things that are obviously false, right?
We can't have much of a conversation.
Like, if I say...
Yes, it's true.
So that's true.
So then if you say, well, she couldn't protect me because she was working, I mean, that's just, she knew he was violent.
Right, right.
So, is this just lies your mother has told you?
Yes.
That's pretty much what she told me, that she needed to work.
And she needed to leave me with somebody because I couldn't be alone as a toddler.
And they were married, they were together, and that was it.
But when he went to jail, when he was arrested and went to jail, she found someone to take care of you, right?
Yes, she did.
So, this is all a lie that she had to leave you with your father because when he went to jail, what, did she just quit her job and stay home all the time?
Or, like, she found someone to take care of you, right?
Yeah, she found someone, yes.
So, the idea that you had to be with your father because your mother was working is just another lie.
Yes.
So, I mean, what do you think of all of this?
Yes, it's a lie, really.
What do you think of all of this?
Not great.
That's not really great.
I think that I sometimes question why they decided to have a child.
I don't know, I suppose sometimes that it would be better off for everybody if they didn't.
Well, I assume that you relatively enjoy your existence, right?
Yes, it's true.
Okay.
So, in terms of why they chose to have a child, unfortunately, your father is a violent criminal, and your mother is the type of woman who chooses to have sex and have babies with a violent criminal.
So you're...
And she seems to be lying about everything.
So as far as...
Because one's a criminal and the other likes to have sex with criminals and lies a lot.
So you're just never going to know.
There's no answer there.
You know, if the only people who have the information you need are liars and criminals, you're never going to get the information you need, right?
Yeah, it's impossible.
Okay, so after your father...
Did he plead guilty or did he have a trial?
Do you know?
Yeah, he had a trial, but he was free to go after a couple of months.
Okay, so he went to jail for a couple of months?
Yeah, yeah.
He went to jail for a couple of months.
And then he just didn't come back, right?
Yeah.
Some people say that he started a new family, but I don't know for sure.
I also decided to not...
All right.
And who took care of you after your father was gone?
Many people.
Many people.
And even people that weren't from my family.
I guess I shouldn't.
Tell you a little bit of my mother's history to put that in context.
Okay.
Because my mother grew up in a household of 11 children.
And her mother didn't have a lot of money and her father didn't have a lot of money.
So they kind of like gave her up to adoption to another family so that she could have a somewhat better life.
But I'm not...
She wasn't really their children.
She would receive food, shelter, care, but she wasn't really one of them, you know.
She was like a...
Sort of like a deal that this family made with my grandmother.
But she grew up, and then this house that she was adopted, they had another four children.
And they grew up together.
My mother grew up in the second family.
The second family had three girls and one boy.
And she would mostly take care of the girls, help around the house.
And my mother and these girls, they grew up kind of like sisters.
And some of them took care of me after my mother was in prison.
Along with their children, too.
While my mother was working, my mother was paying them some money.
And how did your mother, you said she had good income, how did she make her money?
Well, probably you're going to laugh, but she had a government job.
Okay.
All right.
Okay, so how did your mother discipline you when you were a kid?
She would beat me.
It would beat me.
How would you do that?
In what way?
Oh, for example, when I would run around when I didn't want to sit quietly.
Yes, yes.
Yeah, because I wasn't supposed to go play on the street with other people because there were other people that could kidnap me.
And I used to stay in the house with these three other people that she grew up with.
And I would sit around board and she would spank me with her hand.
Sometimes she would throw things at me, like objects in the house.
I remember this time when she threw a vase at me because I forgot my towel on the toilet and some stuff like that.
And sometimes she would also verbally abuse me.
Like, yeah, call me a son of a bitch.
Sometimes she would say, When I was like a teenager or my late teenage years, that I should pack my stuff and leave her because she would always make sure that the house was hers and everything inside it was hers.
Even though she would buy something saying that it was for me, for example, like a video game, then later on she would remind me, "Hey, I bought this for you.
This item here.
So I get to say how you use it or stuff like that.
I didn't really feel that I had a house.
And also, sometimes I remember when I was very little, That she would return from work and I would try to just hug her.
Because I would spend all the day in a stranger's house when I would see her.
I'd try to hug her and say, "Oh, I'm glad you come back." And she would say something along the lines of, "Oh, please stop that.
I know that you didn't miss me so much.
Please just stop." I would feel some kind of coldness, and then from that I didn't develop a close relationship with her.
Right, okay.
Sorry, I'm not sure if you've done that part.
I'm sorry.
I'm not sure if you finished that part of the story.
Yes, I did so.
Okay.
Sorry, so just remind me how she would hit you with her hand, with an implement, when she would beat you.
Yeah, she would hit me with her hand, with flip-flops sometimes.
And she would also take some sort of...
I don't know what they are called in English, but she would hit me with that too.
It was painful.
Right, okay.
And how often would you get beaten?
Probably twice or three times a month.
And what else would happen when you did things that your mother didn't like?
Oh, she would say she would say those things that it's not I lived in her house and I should do everything that she commands and she sometimes would say oh I want to see What are you going to do when I'm not here anymore?
What are you going to do with your life?
She would also sometimes just stop speaking to me when I was very little.
No, not very little, like preteen age, preteen years.
Oh, she would just not talk to you?
Yeah, she would just ignore me, she would say.
Oh, you just prefer to play with your friend, so just go play with your friend.
Leave me alone.
Right.
Got it.
For me, at the time that I'm remembering all this stuff, for me, the way that she spoke to me, it seemed to me that she thought I was defying our authority.
And she would see my behavior.
I don't know for sure, but it would seem to me that she would see my behavior as a defiant and she would sometimes be very aggressive.
And does she call you names?
Sometimes, but not very often, but sometimes.
And what would she say?
Would I respond to her?
No, no, sorry.
What would she say?
What names would she call you?
Okay.
Sometimes she would call me son of a bitch.
But most of the time she would call me son of a bitch.
The most frequent one that I can remember.
Right.
Okay.
And how did things go with you and your mother when you got to be a teenager?
Even more distant.
Even more distant.
I remember this time when I was interested in one girl.
I was like 13 years old.
I showed her a picture of this girl.
It was a beautiful girl for me, I think.
But she said that this girl was fat.
This girl had, what is she called?
She looked like a little rat.
I don't know.
She started pointing flaws that she saw at this girl's picture.
I said, "Oh my God, I can't introduce this girl to my mother because probably it wouldn't go well." And from this point, I decided that I would never introduce.
Any girl that I was interested to her, that I wouldn't have any sort of interest in.
And do you know why she was insulting this girl?
I don't know.
Would you like to know why?
I would like so.
Well, she wants to keep you home.
I mean, there's no husband.
There's no other children, right?
Right.
But then why would she say something like, oh, if you're not happy, you just can't go.
You just can't get moved out.
Well, that's almost like a dare, right?
Because I assume you didn't just go, right?
Yeah.
But one day I did go.
There was one day that was too much and I actually packed my things.
But I listened to that for many years.
How old were you when you left?
I was 21 to 22. Okay, so you were distant with your mother in your teens, and then what happened in your 20s?
Very distant.
If I would see her once or twice a year, like that.
And I didn't have that feeling, that desire to have her in my life.
I was pretty much sure that I would build my family away from her because I would like to have different relationships for my life.
I think that most of her relationships are what you sometimes call the trash planet people.
Okay.
So, when did she first get sick?
You said that she was 50. She's now 61, if I remember rightly.
So, it was 11 years ago, so you were 20. That's when she first got diagnosed with diabetes?
Yes.
Okay.
So you were away in the decade that she was dealing with these health issues, right?
Yes.
But until recently, she was able to control that with medicine, I think, and treatment.
She has a good health insurance.
Sorry, she has what?
She has a good health insurance.
Okay.
So she was relatively okay over the course of your 20s, right?
Right.
And you would see her maybe once or twice a year?
Yes.
Okay.
Got in family reunions in the end of the year, Christmas, for example.
Right, right.
Okay.
So what changed?
I mean, I know she got sick, obviously.
You said dying, right?
But how does that make her more valuable to you?
That's what I don't know.
That's what I don't know.
That's what I'm conflicted because when I saw her, when I heard what the doctor said, it was terrifying, maybe.
It was pretty sad to me.
I don't want her to just die.
Well, why did you see her in your 20s?
Was it because you missed her and you wanted to see her or was it just kind of a family obligation and a place to go at Christmas?
Family obligation, place to go on Christmas.
Okay, so when was the last time that you were eager to pick up, like before your mom got sick now, right?
When was the last time that you were eager to pick up the phone and talk to your mother?
I can't really remember.
I can't really remember.
Okay, so what's changed?
I'm not sure.
Well, what's your theory?
My theory is that, is what I thought that I would be alone in the world, but I think that I am already.
Yeah, you saw her once or twice a year and you didn't even want to.
I mean, I don't mean to be overly, like, practical guy, but.
She beat you.
She lies to you.
She insults your girlfriends.
She tells you to just get out.
I mean, did she work over the course of your 20s or over the last 10 or 11 years or 10 years since you left?
Did she work to try and fix the relationship?
Did she apologize?
Did she ask you?
For your feedback, I mean, did she have any good or meaningful or important conversations with you at all?
No.
The few times that I tried to have any meaningful conversation with her about what happened to me and her and us, she would say that she did the best she could, that her childhood was much worse, that...
And what's the status of your dating or romantic life?
I'm single now, but I'm trying to find a wife.
Most of the girls now that I date, some of them I regret dating them.
Because I think I dated them for the wrong reasons.
In all my life I just had one girl that I think that I had a true love for.
But all the others is just...
I don't know.
Okay, and when did you have...
I was 24 years old.
I think that was the only time that I really loved one girl in my life.
I was 24. She was 20. Like that.
And I had just finished college and was starting my...
We had a good two years together.
I was pretty sure that I was going to marry her.
Her parents liked me.
I liked her parents a lot.
She didn't have any relationship with my mother, but she knew my mother.
She would say, okay, it's my mother.
Sorry, she would say, okay, and what?
She would say, she's your mother, but she wouldn't have a relationship with my mother because I myself didn't have much of a relationship with my mother at the time.
Mm-hmm.
But then the pandemic started, I lost my job, and We had plans to get married, but we had to delay those plans to get married.
Sorry, why did you have to delay the plans?
Because I didn't have money.
Well, I mean, sorry, if you loved each other, it's not your fault there was a pandemic, right?
If you loved each other, why wouldn't you just go and get married?
You don't have to have a big party until later.
Yes.
It's true, I think.
Looking back, it was a mistake.
Sorry, but who broke it off?
Broke it off?
Yeah, who ended the relationship?
In the end, it was me because then this time that I delayed the marriage, she started to hang out with some People from her college.
And these people from her college started inviting her to some kind of drunken parties.
And I would just say, "It's not good.
You're not like that." And she'd say, "Oh, it's fine.
It's just fun." And she would get drunk.
She really changed.
I'd say I don't think that these people are a good fit to be for you to be hanging out with.
Eventually we grew distant too.
I think that was my I think looking back I think that I am to blame because if I hadn't said to her To delay the plans to get married, probably, we would move in together and we would be like a couple.
She was really like a sweet girl.
I think she would care about me.
When I was sick, when I had trouble, she'd like to listen and talk.
And speak to me about many things.
She was beautiful.
Was very beautiful.
And she really said to me she wanted to have a good relationship.
She would never raise her voice to me.
She would never be aggressive.
It would really be a sweet part.
But why?
So I'm still not sure why you broke up with her.
I mean, I get that she was going to maybe parties and so on, but I'm still not sure why you broke up with her.
Because then she had...
She would even invite me in the beginning, but after I told her no multiple times, she stopped.
And then she started talking with some guys on social media and CRSA.
Stop doing that.
It's not good.
Of course, they want something with you.
And she'd say, no, it's just friendship.
If you don't do that, we can have a relationship.
Because these guys, they wouldn't just talk to her.
They would sometimes buy her things.
For example, they would go along together.
These guys, some of these guys, some of her friends from college, and they would sometimes go out to eat, and they would buy her lunch, and they would sometimes give her presents and say, oh, and I would say to her that things in this life are not for free.
They probably want something else with you.
I thought to myself it was really disrespectful to me.
It wasn't like I didn't give her any gift like that.
I sometimes would give her flowers.
No, but why not just get married?
Yes.
That was my mistake.
No, but why not?
Because in the time that I told her, she said it was better for us to wait her to finish college because then she wouldn't have anything else to care about other than me and our family.
Oh, so she didn't want to get married?
At that time, no.
But she wanted to get married in the future, but not at that time.
Not at that time.
Because she was in her second college year.
And she had more two to go.
Okay, so she wanted to get married after college, which was like two years, right?
Yeah, and she said that it was also...
Because she would say that she wouldn't want to work if she had children, especially if they're young.
And I said, okay, I can understand that.
And I agreed.
And it made sense to me to wait.
Looking back, maybe it was a mistake.
Well, if she didn't want to get married, you can't get married, right?
But I feel like I could have tried to convince her.
Right, right.
Because I think that she would eventually give in if I tried harder to convince her.
I think.
Okay.
And then she started hanging out with these other guys.
And I guess you got kind of jealous, which I can understand.
Yeah, so then things went badly from there.
And then what was the final straw or the final bit?
The final straw is when somebody from her friend group told me that one guy had kissed her.
Hmm.
Well, I mean, maybe he grabbed her and kissed her, but that's not necessarily her fault.
Yes.
Yes.
She tried to say that he kind of like insisted.
She at first said no, but he kept insisting.
I didn't believe her at the time because I had warned her many times to not hang out with guys that buy things for her because they probably would expect something in return.
Sure, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
She was like, most like a clueless.
No, maybe naive or whatever.
She was only 20, right?
Yeah, maybe naive.
But then I couldn't have it.
And also to the fact that she would sometimes get drunk.
The girl that used to hate drinks.
She would sometimes get home drunk in the middle of the night, say, "Oh, I feel so bad." Say, "Not that kind of life.
This is not a good life to you." And she'd say she would agree with me, but then the next day she would keep drinking again.
She wouldn't do anything to change that.
That behavior.
And she say, oh, my life is boring now.
I think it helps me.
Okay.
So, I mean, she had some red flags, right?
Yes.
She wanted too much attention from men.
She drank when she knew she shouldn't and she wouldn't get married.
Yes.
Okay.
All right.
Sorry, I just wanted to...
And since then, you said you've dated some other women, but they've been pretty low quality and nothing has really...
Exactly.
Okay.
All right.
Exactly.
I think that I, after that, I just thought, I don't know if I have, it's a low self-esteem issue, but I think that I just would go for the, like what you call the low-hanging fruit.
Yeah, girls who are easy to go out with, but not very.
Satisfying.
Not marriage material, maybe.
Yeah, marriage material is correct.
But I think that this is not good to me.
And I would like to break that pattern.
No, I certainly broke it for the last year.
I didn't date anybody.
Yeah, but I mean, it gets tougher as you age, right?
Right, yes.
Fewer good women around and you get kind of set in your ways.
Okay.
All right, all right, all right.
So, when did your father, sorry, when did your mother fall sick?
like recently when did she go to the hospital or when did you get the news that she was maybe dying or even if she made it through this that she was in very bad health going forward it was on february 11th and people from my family called me like and say oh Your mother might die soon, so go to the hospital.
And I went to the hospital in a rush and then had a conversation with the doctor.
And then I panicked and I sent you the email.
And so what has happened with her health since?
She spent...
Thank you.
But she then was released.
She's at home now, but she needs to take a lot of medicine now.
She needs to get used to take like 10 different medicines.
And her heart problem is permanent now.
but she's very weak.
She can't really...
I've been helping her the way that I can.
Buying her groceries and stuff like that.
Because she can't really go outside.
I've taken her to some medical appointments.
Is she going to get her strength back, do you think?
Is she going to be able to take care of herself going forward?
I think so.
Okay.
I think so.
Alright.
Probably not the way before, the way that she used to be before this incident, but I think that she's going to be at least for some point, at some time.
and has almost dying, has it warmed her heart at all?
Has she expressed any sorrow for the past?
I mean, that's a pretty big thing to almost die.
Right.
So has it changed her at all?
I had conversations with her this time, and the only nice thing that I heard from her now is I don't want to be a burden in your life now.
And if you see that it's going to be too much trouble for you, you can just leave me and other people are going to take care of me.
Don't worry.
just go live your life.
It was a nice thing to say, but...
Okay.
She said that she would like to see me getting married with some woman.
She would like to...
The only thing that she asked for Jesus when she was close to death was that Jesus would...
But I pretty much feel alone.
That always felt.
That's it.
That's it.
Okay.
Okay.
Bye.
Thank you.
Now, what are your plans going forward with your mother?
My plans going forward, when she gets a better health, I was planning to try to revisit the past.
Why did she decide?
I tried to ask her why she decided to be cold to me and maybe what are some red flags that she saw in my father that could help me prevent.
Okay, so brother, brother, come on.
How long have you been listening to what I do?
For, I think, about three years.
Okay.
You've had conversations with your mother about your past before, right?
Yes.
When was the first time you tried asking your mother about the past?
When was the first time ever?
Yeah.
Well, probably when I was...
I would always ask.
Okay.
So it's been like 15 years, you know, 17 years.
Whatever it is, right?
So let's just say 15 years.
So for 15 years, you've been trying to get the facts about your history from your mother, right?
Yeah.
What has she told you that you believe is true that's been really helpful?
That has been helpful in terms of finding Put your mind at ease.
It's an accurate fact.
You're asking all these questions.
When have you got an answer that satisfies you, that is true, that is helpful in your life in some manner, that gives you some peace, some release, some understanding?
You've been 15 years asking your mother questions.
What answers have you gotten that help your life?
What answers have you gotten that help?
I think the only one that she told me that it wasn't my fault.
Wasn't my fault that he did that because...
No, but did she say, of course...
Of course it wasn't your fault when you were two, right?
Did you ever think it was?
No.
Okay.
So the fact that she says it's not your fault when you were two is kind of retarded.
Like, of course it wasn't your fault.
So what about, like, did she ever say it was my fault for having a kid but such a violent guy?
No, she never said that.
Okay, so tell me what she's told you in 15 or more years of you asking her questions.
What answers have you gotten that are useful and helpful and true?
No answer.
Okay, 15 years.
Zero.
Oh, but 16 years, 17 years, 18 years, it's all going to turn around, right?
Maybe she could turn around because of her nearly near death.
Well, that's why I was asking.
Has that happened?
No, it hasn't happened yet.
Okay, then it's not going to happen.
If it didn't happen when she almost died, it's not going to happen six months after she almost died.
Oh, I see your point.
I see.
Has it happened because she's noticed that you've been lonely for seven years since you were 24, right?
So you've been lonely and isolated and not dating anyone of quality.
Has that mattered to her?
Has she called you up and said, Hey, son, what do you think the problem is?
How can I help?
What's going on?
No.
Okay.
So she doesn't care.
Sorry.
Basic fact.
Doesn't care.
Yes.
Doesn't have the capacity to care.
I don't know.
I've not had a child with a knife-wielding, child-beating criminal.
So I don't know what that does to a person.
I don't know what's left of your mother.
But she can't care.
And to me, the most terrifying thing about that is that she doesn't seem to have any loving good friends, I think that most people that Did you hear what I said?
Sorry.
No, it's fine.
What do I give a shit about your mom's friends?
Of course she doesn't have any good friends.
She had a child with a knife-wielding fucking criminal.
Of course she doesn't have any good friends.
Thank you.
That's the price that you pay for having a child with a knife-wielding violent criminal and then beating your child yourself.
You know, one of the prices of that is you don't have any decent people in your life.
How do I prevent that from happening to me?
I wouldn't like to end up like that.
Are you listening?
I don't feel like you're listening.
I feel like you're just throwing objections and random questions up.
Yes, I am.
Okay, so what are you getting out of what I'm saying?
Let's see if we can process that first.
He said that of course she doesn't have good friends because she married a violent man and beat her child.
Okay, what did I say before that?
And that if she hasn't tried to make any attempts to...
It's not gonna, probably not going to happen.
No, it's not.
Brother, it's not gonna happen.
Not probably.
It's not gonna happen.
It's not gonna happen like you're not gonna win the lottery.
Ah, okay.
It's not gonna happen.
If she's not shown you compassion or empathy in 31 years, 32 years isn't gonna change shit.
Okay.
Right?
I'm 58 years old.
I'm not going to suddenly know Japanese next year.
I understand.
So what does that mean to you?
If you can't get any truth or care or compassion out of your mother, what does that mean to you?
It means that I can't really build my future next to her.
Thank you.
See, you have a value in your mother based upon a future that's not going to happen, where she's warm to you, she's close to you, she answers your questions, she shows you compassion and caring, right?
Yes.
Okay, so let's put that off the table.
That's not going to happen.
It's not going to happen, brother.
I'm really sorry.
I really am.
I think it's very sad, but it's not going to happen.
Now, without that, if your mother is who she is, and there's no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, there's no angel within her that you can suddenly find or unlock, if it's just, here's who she is, nothing's going to change.
What does that mean for your relationship if you don't have a fantasy of how it could be somehow better?
That cannot exist?
I don't know.
I'm asking you.
I don't know.
Yeah, the relationship cannot exist because the only reason why I would try to approach her again is or the hope that maybe one day There would be a pot of gold in the end, and she would be truthful to me, and she would maybe treat me like a person, really.
Okay.
If a man has been married to a woman for 15 years, and she cheats on him constantly, she cheats on him constantly, and he says, but I hope that in the future she will be faithful.
After 15 years, let's say, what would you say to him?
Yeah, he's mentally ill.
I wouldn't say that's pretty harsh.
I wouldn't say he's mentally ill.
I would say maybe he's a little over-optimistic.
Yes, okay, yes.
Now, what if it had been, say, 31 years?
delusional.
Well, it just means that His wife is never going to be faithful because she's cheated on him continuously for 31 years straight, right?
Right.
She's never been faithful to him at any point in those 31 years.
And so she's not going to be faithful.
Right.
So your mother has not been direct and honest with you for 31 years.
she's not going to be direct and honest.
Your mother has not shown compassion to you for 31 years.
She's not going to start showing compassion.
She's not been empathetic.
She won't be empathetic.
Either she doesn't have the capacity or the capacity is so buried, it might as well not be there.
It's either not there or the equivalent, Okay.
Okay.
Like if I never read any books, it doesn't really matter whether I can't read or I can read but don't read.
I'm still not literate.
Does that make sense?
That makes sense.
So, don't be in relationships with people on the mad hope they're going to fundamentally rewrite their entire personality.
I see.
You must be with people because of who they are.
Not the opposite of who they are or who they might be in a different universe or who they might be if they'd had a better childhood or anything like that.
Relationships are not with the fantasy of who people might be if they get a magically different personality in the future.
Relationships are with people as they are.
Right.
I mean, would you want to date a woman who said, well, I'll hang around, but I'm not going to commit to you until you become a neurosurgeon?
No, no, not really.
Why wouldn't you want to be with someone like that?
Because she's not dating me for me?
Yeah, she's dating you for some fantasy.
Or would you want to be with a woman who said, yeah, I'll go on a couple of dates with you, maybe here and there.
But until you have $10 million, I'm not going to commit to you.
No.
I see.
Then if I did, I didn't get $10 million, I wouldn't commit to her.
Right.
Or if a woman said to you, say a Japanese woman said, I will be with you, I will date you, but I will only be with you, I will only commit to you if...
I will only date you if you were exactly the same as if you had been born and raised in Japan.
What would she say?
That's impossible.
That's impossible.
I can't be born in Japan.
Right.
And your mother can't have been born to healthy parents.
But then...
I get all of that.
But is this about you or your relationship with your mother?
Those are two different things.
This call is mostly about me.
No, it's about your relationship with your mother, at least in what you sent me.
I don't mind if we play around with the topic, but we keep veering between the two because you're like, my mother's dying.
I want to fix her.
I want to fix the relationship.
Steph, help me with my mother dying, right?
Right.
Now, if you're like, well, actually, no, I'm just afraid of turning into my mother.
That's all about the future.
That's a different conversation.
Okay.
I see, I see your point.
I think that these were the same conversation, but I see, I see.
How do I fix my broken car is different from what car should I buy in the future.
Okay.
Now, I don't mind if we try and tackle both, but I can't mix the two together.
It's because when I sent you the email, I thought that this relationship would have an impact in my future.
Like, even in the dating.
because some people, they just might, they like to know the family of origin, of the people who they are dating, who they are getting to know.
And following this logic, I would have to really, I'm already distant from my,
And some of them also enable her excuses like, oh, she's your mother, you need to forgive her.
And they even mention the one thing that they have in the Bible, like honor your father and your mother.
You have to, so that your days on this planet will be longer, something like that.
And they say, mother is sacred.
I know that your mother is hurtful.
Sorry, sorry.
Why are we considering the opinions of complete idiots?
Like, why would I care about, oh, your mother is sacred and blah, blah, blah.
They're just NPCs.
They're just propagandized absolute idiots.
And I'm not sure why, I mean, help me understand, why would I consider, you know, like if someone called me up, right, and I work on all my theories of philosophy and virtue and ethics and all of that, and then they call me up and then they say, yes, but you haven't taken into account astrology.
Oh, that's such a Libra thing to do.
I'd be like, why on earth would I listen to people about astrology?
They're idiots.
Right.
So, why would I want, like, why would you want to have people in your life who side with your violent parents over an innocent child such as yourself?
Why would you want them around?
Why would you want to be friends with them?
People who side with violent and corrupt criminals over an innocent and helpless child.
And instead of going to your mother and saying, hey, honey, you've got to be honest with your son, they'd go to you and say, you have to forgive your mother because she's sacred.
She's got magic pixie dust that makes her completely immune from any moral judgment.
Like, why would you want to have...
Because probably their emotionality gets into me.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
Sorry, can you hear me now?
Yeah, yeah.
Their emotionality, and I didn't catch that.
Yeah, their emotionality, the emotional appeal that they do to me.
No, it's corruption.
No, no, it's not.
Hey, I'm emotional.
I'm a passionate guy.
It's not emotionality.
It's just corruption.
They're just nasty little people who want you to be enslaved to a violent and abusive mother.
They don't want to deal with their own parents.
Maybe they're corrupt people themselves.
And then when they see violent and corrupt parents and a helpless and dependent child, They side with corruption against virtue.
They side with guilt against innocence.
They side with violence against virtue.
They're corrupt.
Yes.
So why do I want to listen?
Well, you know, but Steph, there are all of these corrupt people in the world who will criticize me for standing up for what's right and protecting myself from a violent and abusive mother.
Okay.
Yes.
I get that.
I get that.
I understand that.
There are people who put powder into women's drinks so they can rape them when they're unconscious, right?
It's called roofing, right?
They put some powder.
And if you take away the woman's drink so that she doesn't fall unconscious and get raped, are they angry at you?
Most certainly they are.
Yeah.
I mean, if your girlfriend at 24 had listened to you and not gone with all these creepy guys who corner her and kiss her, would those creepy guys be mad at you?
Probably.
Yeah.
So, Steph, if I take away the drink that's going to poison a woman and get her raped, I mean, the rapey guy, he's mad at me.
He judges me badly.
I'm like, who gives a fuck about his opinion?
Right.
I just see.
Makes sense.
Do you want to date a woman who says when she hears about your mother and your father and you, only criticizes you and says that you're at fault?
No.
You should have forgiven.
You should have been nicer.
You should have been better.
Right?
Your mother is holy, your mother is sacred.
Like, do you want to date a woman who sides with abuses against you?
No, but unfortunately, these types were the last ones that I did.
And because of that and other reasons, it didn't last long.
Sorry, what do you mean by unfortunately?
Are you saying you chose corrupt women and it didn't work out?
Right.
Well, stop abusing corrupt women.
I mean, I don't know what to tell you.
It's true.
I keep beating my head against the wall and it hurts.
Well, maybe don't beat your head against the wall.
It's true.
I did that myself.
And that's because you are still providing value to your mother.
So, your mother is corrupt, in my view, and you find value in her.
And so you will then find value in corrupt women to date.
Right?
Right?
But what do you mean I find value in her?
In your mother?
Yes.
That's what we were talking about, that you hang around hoping to get the truth from her.
You hang around hoping to get peace from her.
You hang around hoping to get an explanation from her.
You hang around hoping to get compassion and love.
You're standing in the middle of the desert pretending to swim.
Okay.
So you find value in your mother.
And then you end up dating women who are corrupt.
Did you know they were corrupt when you were dating them?
At the beginning, no, but...
And what did they say that had you believe or feel that they were corrupt?
When I would have conversations about my past and about the kind of relationship that I had with my mother, all of them would say that she just didn't learn how to love.
You should forgive her because this was the way that she had.
At least she worked and she provided things for you.
She did her best.
So not one of them said, that must be very sad for you.
I'm so sorry that you were treated that way.
The only one that said that, that was the one that I told you that I felt the true love.
No, no, I'm talking about the since 24. Okay, no, no, none.
So you've got no sympathy.
So you're just dating cold women.
You're dating cold-hearted women.
Cold-hearted, manipulative women.
But that's because you're still trying to find value in your mother.
Right.
So as long as you are Let's say that there's a really quality woman.
She comes along.
What's your favorite female name?
Sarah.
Sarah.
Okay.
All right.
So Sarah comes along and she finds out that your mother married a violent, abusive, knife-wielding, child-abusing criminal and refused to take responsibility, said that there was no way she could have done any different.
And then she also beat you and lies to you continually.
And she's in your life.
Your mother is in your life.
Well, what is Sarah going to think about that?
She probably would say it's not good for me.
To be around such people.
If I told her all the story that I'm telling you now, she probably would understand all the reasons that I had to keep my distance all this time.
Right.
And then she finds out that your mother is still in your life and you're taking care of her now because she's unwell.
She'd think that I'm a coward, maybe.
That what?
Maybe she would think that I'm a coward to not break off these bullshit emotionality that people Yeah, probably she wouldn't.
She wouldn't.
Yeah, probably she wouldn't.
Maybe she was secure.
I'm sorry, you're fading out again.
Okay, sorry.
You faded out again.
Okay.
Can you hear me well now?
Yeah, yeah.
She would say what?
Maybe she wouldn't feel so secure to date me as she would see that corrupt people have power over my life.
And do you think that she would want to have your mother around her children?
No.
Right.
Now, do you think that she would trust you?
to have healthy boundaries with your mother.
To keep your mother away.
Let's say that your mother really insisted that, you know, she says, oh, I want to see my grandchildren.
I want to see, I'm knocking on the door, right?
What would happen?
Okay, probably she wouldn't trust me, no.
No, of course not, right?
And the funny thing is that you didn't trust your girlfriend around Guys, but how is some woman, how is Sarah going to trust you around your mother?
Probably she wouldn't.
She won't.
I don't think she would.
So in order to have like a healthy marriage, I just, I know you don't like to tell other people what to do, but I just, in order to have a healthy marriage and children, I should just really drop all these people from my past.
end well Look at it from the outside, not with all the history and everything that you've gotten used to.
Look at it from the outside.
Look at it from Sarah's point of view.
Because Sarah's coming in without any of this Oh, no.
Would you want to sit across from Sarah's father if you knew that he put her under the care of a violent relative and then beat her as a toddler?
No, no.
I wouldn't want to be a woman.
Not from your own historical, sentimental point of view.
Because if we want to be attractive to someone else, we have to view ourselves from the outside, because that's what they're going to see.
No history, just from the outside, right?
Okay.
What will Sarah think of you spending Will she want to join that family structure?
Probably not.
Okay.
Where's the probably?
You think she might want to do that?
No, no.
How big is your penis?
Right?
So, she's not going to want to any more than if some girl you really liked, some woman you really liked, was enmeshed with a violent and cold father.
I mean, I know your mother's not violent anymore, but that's only because she doesn't have power over you.
Lord knows what's going to happen if she gets power over your grandchildren.
Would you want to get involved with Sarah's incredibly dysfunctional family if they were still in her life?
No.
So that's all.
That's all it's about.
Just looking at it from the outside.
How does my life look like to a healthy person?
Right?
Am I enticing to a moral, strong, quality woman?
Am I enticing to a strong, Healthy, quality, moral woman.
Does she want to get with me?
Does she want to join my life?
Does she want to join my friends, my family, my whole social structure?
Not currently, no.
Right.
So, you have to clean your nest.
You have to make yourself enticing to a quality woman.
What that means in your life could be any number of things, and I can't tell you what that is, but I can tell you that it's important.
I mean, when you're selling a car, you wash it, right?
Yes.
And you clean it out.
Yes.
Because you want it to look good to someone who might buy it.
you want to look good to someone who might buy you.
Right.
you Do you look good right now, still standing around at the age of 31?
If you were 21, we'd be having a whole different conversation, but you're 31 years old.
You've been listening to philosophy since you were in your mid to late 20s.
Yes.
So, as a guy in his 30s, a woman judges you vastly different from a guy who's 21. Right, it's true.
I mean, a guy who's 21, we don't blame him for being broke.
A guy who's 31 who's broke, that's kind of a different thing, right?
Yes.
So you're now in your 30s, which means a woman is going to judge you not by your childhood, but by your decisions as an adult.
And if your decision as an adult is, well, I'm sticking real close to a woman who abused me and continues to lie to me and doesn't show me any care or concern, I'm sorry, bro, you're just going to get judged for that.
And it's not going to be a good judgment.
I mean, we can say it should be different, but it doesn't really matter.
It is what it is.
Yes, it is what it is.
A guy with no job experience at 17?
It's not a big deal.
A guy with no job experience at 25 is a big deal.
Like, life moves on and you've got to keep moving with it.
Right.
Right.
I mean, I'll do my shows a lot of times, like live streams and stuff, unless it's for donors or whatever, right?
But I'll do my shows like, okay, imagine somebody had only heard the worst about me and was coming in to see what a terrible guy I was.
What does what I do look from the outside?
From people who don't have a history with me and maybe have only heard the worst things about me.
what do I look like and what does philosophy look like and what do my shows look like from the outside that's really important that mindset then it's really And you see a box of cookies, they have the most beautiful-looking cookies printed on the outside.
Like, the picture of the cookies is amazing, right?
Right.
Because you're looking at it from the outside, and they want you to buy the cookies, and they have to, like, if you've got a favorite cookies, I don't know, whatever favorite cookies you have, you don't care about the package.
So the package is for the people who don't really know the cookies.
Does that make sense?
Maybe I'm caring too much about the package.
No, I want you to care more about the package.
Okay.
No, I want you to care more about the package because the package is what people look at who don't know the product, right?
So, for instance, if you like Coca-Cola, you go to the restaurant and you say, give me a Coke, and they'll just bring it to you in a glass, right?
Okay.
Because they don't need to sell it to you.
Like, you already know that you want Coke, right?
Right.
So they don't need to put a big ad and I'd like to teach the world to sing.
They don't need all these dances.
They don't need a big flashy package with your name on it.
Right?
You already want it.
So they don't need to advertise it to you.
But if you've never heard of Coke before, or whatever, or you've never tried it before, then you need...
Thank you.
The Coke needs to advertise to you.
Like a restaurant will try to get you to come in by putting nice pictures of the food in the window and having a nice decor.
However, if it's already your favorite restaurant, they don't need to sell to you.
I see.
So in the world, you are selling to people who don't know you at all.
Which means you have to look at yourself from the outside with no history.
So like in this package, it includes the relationship with my mother that people would see and judge me for.
Other than my financial status, for example.
Yeah, yeah.
So there's all that stuff for sure.
I get there's all that stuff, right?
The outside, looking at you from the outside with no history, right?
There's no history.
Looking at you from the outside is you, all your relationships, and all the decisions that you made to maintain those relationships or have those relationships, if that makes sense.
Would you like that?
Could you elaborate a little more on that?
Well, okay.
So, let's say that I'm 30 and I'm broke.
And some woman is interested in me because I'm a, I don't know, a good-looking guy or I'm funny or something like that.
So, some woman is interested in me.
And what she does is she finds out that I'm broke.
Now, what she knows, Is that I'm 30 years old.
Did I say 30?
I think 30, right?
So I'm 30 years old.
Yes, 30. Yeah, I'm 30 years old and I'm broke.
Now, she knows two things about me.
One is direct and one is indirect.
One is that I'm broke.
Right?
That's clear, right?
I'm broke.
Now, the other thing, though, is she knows indirectly about all the decisions that I made.
In order to end up broke.
What if you're broken?
it's just temporary.
Maybe you just lost your job and you're trying to I'm 30. Which means if I've lost my job and I'm broke, she knows I don't save my money.
Okay.
Right?
I live Because anybody with half a brain knows that you can lose your fucking job.
So you gotta have some savings, right?
Right, okay, yes.
So she knows a lot of things over and above me just being broke.
Oh, gee.
She knows a lot about me.
Just from one fact that you're broke, she knows a lot of things.
And also about if I stick to this relationship with my mother, people would know a lot about me as well.
Well, yeah, they know a lot about you.
Just based upon that fact.
And not good things?
Well, it's, you know, First of all, if she's a corrupt woman, she knows that you allow corruption into your life, so you'll probably be fine with her.
Probably I would attract more corruption into my life.
Well, yeah, it's like you're marked as open for business with corruption, which means every con woman who could extract a foodie call out of you is going to do it.
I see.
I see.
So, looking at you from the outside is important.
If you're not groomed, if you don't exercise, if you don't take care of your teeth, you say, well, you know, if you don't have good posture, if you don't make eye contact, if you don't shake someone's hand firmly, if you don't greet people with a smile and a sense of positivity, right?
Then they know everything there is to know about you.
I see.
And if you're like, well, I'm 31 years old and I'm tortured by what my mother did 25 years ago, what does the woman know about you?
I see that she would probably think that I am weak emotionally.
Well, you're incredibly indecisive.
And you're still under the control of your mother and you won't make a decision and move forward.
Because if we're in relationships with people, we have to forgive them.
Being in a relationship with someone and not forgiving them is just torture for everyone.
I see.
Now, if you can't forgive people, and I believe, of course, there's times where Not forgiving people is wise if they haven't earned it.
But if you can't forgive people, then it's really cruel to pretend to still be in a relationship with them.
So she knows that you can be in a relationship with someone and not forgive them.
Or leave the relationship.
Right.
Which is not appealing.
I see.
I see.
There's no way just to have a future relationship with my mother and a happy relationship with a wife.
Tell me what you mean.
Yeah, because, you know, In order to have a quality woman, I cannot have my relationship with my mother.
So...
Thank you.
But I still feel grief, some sadness.
I know that the logical decision here is to just...
Sorry, what do you mean by go back to the way that things were?
The way that things were before she got sick, that we didn't have much contact at all.
Much contact, yes.
Okay.
But you'd just be lying.
How would I be lying?
I asked you earlier, bro.
I said, when was the last time you really, really wanted to interact with your mother and talk to her?
And you said, never.
It's true.
So I would just go back to the way that it was at that time.
I wouldn't just, I wouldn't interact with her anymore and move forward with my life.
Bro, what are you going rubber bones on me?
Why are you making me say all of this stuff?
You're a smart guy.
You're a smart guy.
I don't know what to say, sir.
It's obvious that I I need to I think that I need to keep my distance
And that inequality woman that would look at me from outside probably wouldn't find me appealing and probably wouldn't be willing to join me in this life.
But also when I think about Just keeping my distance from my mother, just feel some kind of sadness and grief, really.
Oh, absolutely.
Listen, I completely understand that.
I completely understand that.
Of course, because you didn't get the mother that you wanted.
You didn't get the mother that you should have had.
That's mainly the purpose of this call, because I felt a big sense of sadness when the doctor told me that she might really die soon.
Right, because you've been waiting for something that won't ever come.
And when your doctor says it's not coming, the illusion fails.
I see.
Do you know what I mean?
Yes.
I just had an illusion of something that would happen, but it wasn't real.
Well, you are avoiding sorrow.
And listen, I really understand this, and I'm not criticizing anything.
I understand this.
I really do.
But you are operating on the principle that one day, You will have a good mother.
I see.
One day it's going to work out.
One day it's going to be okay.
It's going to be better.
And then the doctor comes along and says, oh man, she's going to die.
Right.
And then it's like, nope, not going to happen, right?
Right.
But is it even possible to avoid this feeling?
I don't know what you mean.
Is it possible to avoid sorrow at having been horribly mistreated as a kid?
Yes.
Why wouldn't you feel sorrow?
How would that be helpful to not feel sorrow?
It would be easy for me to move on, easier.
I would like to be really, really, really angry at what happened.
Well, I mean, but the anger is holding your mother morally responsible for what she did, but you still think that you can talk her out of it or change her, or it's up to you to regrow her heart and make her a better person and give her empathy and sensitivity and thoughtfulness, right?
Right.
Right.
You got a terrible deal in your parents.
You really did.
It's not your fault, of course, right?
You got a terrible deal.
You got a mother who won't take any responsibility.
You got a mother who beat you.
You got a mother who decided to, who obviously has a fetish for criminals.
And I hate to say it because it's an ugly thing, but that is the way that it is.
She is turned on by criminals.
Although she...
I don't know if she dated outside, but she never brought a man to the house again.
Right.
But she clearly found your father to be sexually funny.
Probably she was attracted to some vile, cruel...
I mean, you can, but it just won't work.
I see.
So the best cause of action then is to just let these feelings...
Now, we can say she's not capable, it doesn't fundamentally matter.
And you'll never know if she is capable or isn't capable of because she'll never tell you the truth.
But she's functionally incapable because you've been trying for 15 or more years and you've got precisely nowhere.
Right.
So it's impossible.
And we can, of course, yes, she had a bad childhood.
I don't care.
Because we're dealing with your childhood.
Not hers.
Whether she's functionally incapable of giving you love, whether she might, but she's withholding it, it doesn't matter.
Because you'll never get the truth about it, and it's never coming your way, because 31 years and being on the edge of fucking death did not change her.
Right.
So, it's not going to happen.
Now, once you accept, oh, okay, so that's not going to happen.
It's not going to happen.
Then you can grieve.
Do you see what I mean?
Yes.
It's very sad.
It is very sad, and I'm very sorry for it.
And I'd give you a big hug if I could, brother.
I'm very, very sorry for it.
It's very sad.
And your mother has done you great wrong, and your father has done you great wrong.
And that's something to grieve.
It really is.
Right.
So it would be good for me to just allow myself to grieve.
Yeah, just accept.
Like, I'm really sorry.
I'm really sorry for the way that it went down.
I'm really sorry for what happened.
And obviously, I wish it had been different.
I see.
Thank you.
But it wasn't different.
It's never going to be different.
Your father's never going to be a good person.
Your mother is never going to have a warm heart.
And you are standing waiting to drink from a pool that dried up a thousand years ago.
Right.
Right.
And the only thing worse than waiting 31 years is waiting 31.1 or 32 years.
I see.
I see.
That's a tough one to swallow.
It is a tough one to swallow.
And if you have any doubt, right?
This is my belief.
I obviously, I cannot say for certain.
If you have any doubt about my belief, my argument, then you should trust your own instincts.
And if you think that you can warm your mother's heart and get the truth, and I'm completely wrong, right?
I'm obviously not omniscient, right?
This is my belief.
But if you have any doubt about what I'm saying, then you go to your mother and you try and get the truth and you try and warm her heart.
But don't go halfway and don't do it tentatively and don't do it a little bit, obviously when her health can handle it.
But if you think you can get compassion and warmth and love from your mother after 31 years of coldness and violence, Then you should go to your mother, when her health permits it, and put it to the test.
Yes.
If that makes sense.
It makes sense.
I don't think that you're wrong.
I think it probably would go as the same way that it went for the past years, probably.
Oh, again, if you're in the realm of probably, obviously, I'm an empiricist, which means that if you doubt an argument, you should test it empirically.
And if you doubt what I'm saying about your mother, I obviously could be wrong.
So if you doubt what I'm saying about your mother, you should go and talk to your mother.
What you shouldn't do is just kind of float around and touch at the edges and go back and then leave.
And like, that's just wasting more time.
You should go in and you should find out for sure.
Again, once her health can handle it.
So, you know, maybe talk to her doctor and say, look, I need to have difficult conversations with my mother, they might be stressful for her, and get his advice about the right time to do it.
But don't, you know, obviously I'm not her doctor, so I don't know.
Yes, of course, yes.
But then, once I get, once I deal with this kind of stuff, How can I lead a more philosophical life moving forward?
Okay, I've given you massive tasks to do.
Why are you hitting me with massive abstract questions about how to be more philosophical?
I've given you what you need to do for the next couple of months, at least.
And then you're like, yes, but what about in the years and decades to come?
Oh, okay.
Just focus on the ear.
Well, if someone's 400 pounds, and someone says, you need to get down to 200 pounds, and then they say, but how do I win a marathon?
It's like, maybe just deal with the 200 pounds first, and then we can talk about the marathon later.
Oh, okay.
I see.
Okay.
That was very helpful.
Good, good.
It was helpful.
It cleared.
I cleared up many things, many doubts that I was having.
Good, goody, goody, goody.
All right.
Anything else that I can help you with tonight?
Also, thank you.
I appreciate it so much.
All right, brother.
Again, big hug, big sympathies.
I hope that you know that my passion is not anything negative towards you.
We all have these logs on our legs, and sometimes it hurts a little getting them off, if that makes sense.
Yes.
I understand completely, so thank you.
Will you keep me posted about how things are going?
Yes, yes.
All right.
Well, thanks, man.
I appreciate your time tonight and all my very best.
Thank you.
▲
Export Selection