Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!NOW AVAILABLE FOR SUBSCRIBERS: MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING' - AND THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI AND AUDIOBOOK!Also get the Truth About the French Revolution, the interactive multi-lingual philosophy AI trained on thousands of hours of my material, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!See you soon!https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022Stef the following question is a follow up question to a previous question I asked involving the elephant man. Now the question I am going to ask you Stef is an entirely seperate question but is in spirit a follow up as it deals with the central issue of principles I had raised previously in the elephant man questions. The reason I ask this new question is because the following very real scenario I will be referring to involves yourself Stef in a very recent interaction here on Freedomain Locals. On a very recent call in with a German guy you asked the German guy what’s the issue in regards to following principles. He said ‘It’s hard’. I was very interested in hearing what he was referring to when he said ‘it’s hard’. I think I know what he was referring to, I think he was referring to the fact that if you follow principles it will likely lead you nowhere in the modern world of women and relationships. Not to say I have a problem with the principles you advocate for Stef, but does following principles really lead to results in the modern world of dating & relationships? Let me give you evidence to back up my claim, evidence that you Stef I know are all too familiar with. Women as you are aware Stef are drawn to bad guys, jerks, even in some cases criminals. I don’t have to remind you Stef the most popular book of all time with women is ‘50 Shades of Grey’. A book about a brutal arrogant jerk who blindfolds women and smacks them on the ass with a belt and wooden spoon. Additionally there is an old saying Stef women love drama and ‘you can make a woman feel anything, just don’t make her feel nothing’. Now I get & fully understand the point of following principles that you advocate for Stef but in the face of all the evidence that suggests the average women isn’t really looking for a guy with virtue who follows principles I do think you have to deal with those very real facts. I’m not saying following principles is guaranteed to lead to failure, it’s possible this caller might find the unicorn who is not driven by drama and Mr. Grey bad boy energy, but on the balance of probabilities if he follows principles will he find this super rare woman? I don’t think those odds are good, again in the face of all the competing evidence I have just stated Stef I think that is a very reasonable assertion to make. What I am referring to is practicality Stef. Is it practical for this German caller to follow principles when a lot of the evidence suggests women aren’t searching for a man with virtuous principles, again on average, but as you said yourself Stef on your recent episode criticising long distance relationships ‘What makes you believe you would be the exception to the rule?’. Was it the practicality of following principles is what the caller was referring to when he said ‘it’s hard’. I think so, when he compared your advice to other advice, advice from dating coaches who say women like jerks and bad boys and guys that don’t care about them. Again Stef you can question the morals such advice giver gives out but in the face of all the competing evidence about ‘50 Shades of Grey’ and women continually dating jerks and in some cases even in more extreme cases criminals you can’t say such advice is not practical advice based on very common real world anecdotal evidence. I’m not contesting the value of the principles you preach Stef, I am questioning the practicality of applying those principles in the modern dating world. Just as I was not questioning whether dating a prostitute was generally a good idea or not in my elephant man example, I was questioning the ‘practicality’ of following principles in the given elephant man scenario. I am now contesting the practicality of following principles in the face of all the evidence that shows women are attracted to domineering jerks. I’m not necessarily advising this caller to not follow principles either, but I do think the caller at least needs to understand and acknowledge why it’s hard to follow principles - it’s very simple, in general women like a bit of drama and a guy with a bit of an edge. The caller seemed very logical, rational and very calm and whilst I respect these personality traits - I will be frank a lot of women find this type of logical personality boring, so there are the challenges I think men like the caller is facing, and I am again not instructing this caller to follow principles or not Stef, I am just addressing what I think he was referring to when he said ‘it’s hard’, and if that was what he was referring to then I think another call in with that caller would be appropriate to address these very relevant issues in a world that is gradually descending into a haze of immoral people having relationships and children whilst people with principles just stand back on the sidelines with their principles. Now Stef I leave you with a Youtube video of a streamer named Casey Zander because I think he gives advice very different from yours Stef, & you can contest the morality of his advice Stef but it would be interesting Stef if you can contest the practicality of this guy’s advice in the face of all the evidence that shows women like cocky arrogant pricks or at least a guy with an edge over a guy who follows principles and reason?If you are not restricted by an NDA or similar:Have any DROs reached out to offer you a position on their board of advisors; or, have you considered the endeavor yourself, maybe even as a philosophical Judge Judy show? 👨⚖️I recently had a falling out with my older brother...he has been going through a really tough time as of late and I've been calling and checking in on hime everyday....but over the past month I may have been a little too pushy and have been asking questions to see if there was any more I could do...he's suffering from a deep depression and I have suggested he try to push through the pain and get on a schedule and change his habits in small increments....he hung up on me twice and then the last 2 conversations he rushed me quickly off the phone bc he doesn't care to hear anything more...so I stopped calling him....now a month has gone by...he has not.picked up the phone and neither have i....am I wrong for backing away? Or am I abandoning him when he's at his most vulnerable? I can't help but feel a strange sadness come.over me but also at the same time a sense of freedom....am I doing the right thing?how can we best help you spread the message of Peaceful Parenting?Hi Stef, do you have an opinion on lending people money? I have always been a saver, and maintained the mindset of self reliance. When life has thrown me a curveball, I have been able to manage financial eventualities on my own. Perhaps because of this, the perception has been that all is well with me, and I have no problems. Maybe this is why people have always reached out to me for help. I have to admit that I have had difficulty saying no, and of course most have payed me back, but there are the few times that I have been burned. Do you think in life, it should be our duty to help friends, family with need, or should I adopt a sterner policy, and if so could it be something that could come back to bite me, should I one day be in need?Hi Stef, for the last 13 years I have been helping my Sister invest, from telling her what to invest in through to managing those investments in real time (through weekly market research) along side my investments as a full time investor.In the process I have made her million’s and she is on the verge of generational wealth which has allowed both her and her husband to either retire or semi retire to focus on raising their child.Over those 13 years I did not ask for anything in return, I wanted to help my Sister and I am aware of the dangers of stealth contracts where you expect something in return even though the other person is not aware of it and how that can build resentment.Despite knowing this I am starting to feel a bit of resentment due to the duration I have been doing it and the amount of money I have made her, and I have had nothing in return for all what I have done.Even at Christmas all I was given was a £30 pair of jogging trousers which I didn’t want.Is it right to feel hurt by a lack of reciprocity even though I originally was happy to help her out without asking for anything in return? Or would this fall under a stealth contract which is wrong?
If you're not restricted by an NDA or similar, have any DROs reached out to offer you a position on their board of directors or advisors, or have you considered the endeavor yourself, maybe even as a philosophical judge duty show?
That's interesting.
So, I tend to try to avoid shows that have high production values.
I mean, I did spend quite a bit on the documentaries, and I think that was great, but no.
I have not had people reach out to me to run their GROs.
I think a philosophical show would be fun, but, you know, just if you want to get Judge Judy's thing,
Is it Matt Walsh doing something like that?
I mean, you have to get the whole set, you have to get the actors, you have to get makeup, you have to get costumes, you have to get the lighting, you have to get the camera people.
It's a huge amount of money.
And honestly, I think my value is in the thoughts, not in the production.
And if I were to go for higher production quality, like if I were to, you know, build a whole studio and hire people to come in and film the shows and so on,
It would not improve the philosophy.
The philosophy for me, like just me talking, and I'll do a lot of the course not video.
I used to do more video.
I do less video now.
Just me talking I think is the real value, and I don't think the production values really would add to that.
In fact, it would subtract to it, because everything that I would do to plan and execute on that kind of thing would be less transmitting of thoughts from my mind to the world.
So, it's not a thing that I particularly want to do.
I recently had a falling out with my older brother.
He has been going through a really tough time as of late and I've been calling and checking on him every day but over the past month I may have been a little too pushy and been asking questions to see if there was any more I could do.
He's suffering from a deep depression and I have suggested he try to push through the pain and get on a schedule and change his habits in small increments.
He hung up on me twice and then the last two conversations he rushed me quickly off the phone because he doesn't care to hear anything more.
So I stopped calling him.
Now a month has gone by, he has not picked up the phone, and neither have I. Am I wrong for backing away, or am I abandoning him when he's had his most vulnerable?
I can't help but feel a strange sadness come over me, but also at the same time a sense of freedom.
Am I doing the right thing?
That is a very big question, a very deep question, and I have a lot of sympathy for this kind of situation.
I mean, I have massive sympathies for just about everyone's situation, perhaps to a fault, but this is very tough.
If you have someone in your life who's fading and falling apart, and they
Resist all chances of help, they resist all good advice, and then stop contacting you.
That's a very tough situation.
I mean, it's sort of to me like, you know, prior to COVID, you couldn't really force medical treatment on people.
So it's like, your brother's got a giant tumor growing on his neck or something, and he won't go and see a doctor.
Now, you can't operate on him, obviously, unless you're a doctor, in which case I think still you can't, but you can't operate on him, and he won't go and see a doctor, and what does that mean?
So, I'll be blunt about this.
He might be preparing to die.
I don't know, obviously, and don't be alarmed, this is just an amateur opinion from the ether, so it sounds to me, though, that he could be, it's a tiny possibility that he could be preparing to die.
If somebody's suffering from a deep depression and begins to cut off everyone around them, and I assume you'd be one of the last people he'd cut off as a brother and all, he could be preparing to die.
In other words, he just could be in the grip of a kind of demon that's telling him to die.
Now, I don't mean he's going to kill himself, but, you know, he could eat himself to death, he could be careless, he could
hurt himself just by accident or he might just be taking the kind of actions like poor sleep, poor nutrition, no exercise that has a kind of death impulse to it.
So I view people in these kinds of situations where they're clearly in need of help and rejecting all help as being preyed upon by a kind of demon that's squatting on their shoulders and whispering
Sweet come-to-death nothings into their ear.
The issue with your brother is not, in my view, again I'm no expert so it's just an amateur opinion, the issue with your brother in my view is more to do with who wants him to fail, who wants him to die, who wants him to have this terrible, horrible, sad existence that he may at some point be relieved, to relieve himself from, who wants him to die.
Now, I don't know anything about your history.
I'd certainly be happy to do a call-in show.
Call in at freedomain.com.
I'd be happy to do a call-in show, but I would imagine that there's someone in the past, perhaps a parent figure or someone like that, who really hated your brother.
Not him as a person, but whatever.
I mean, my mother hated me at times, but she didn't hate me.
She just hated
That she perceived me to be in the way of the life that she wanted.
I mean, if there's a giant rock in the road and you're late for an appointment, you don't hate the rock.
You just hate the interference with your goal, right?
So it wasn't personal to me or anything like that.
She just imagined she'd have this great life without kids.
So if there was somebody in the past
And it could be, it could even be not even the distant past if he was married and had a wife who hated him, ended up hating him or something like that.
There's somebody who wants him, quote, and well, I say unfunctioning, right?
I sort of don't want to use that cliche, unalive or anything like that.
But there's someone that wants him to do the opposite of flourishing.
Someone who hates him.
And in my view, again, I can't prove any of this, and it may not be true at all, but it's just my opinion, but I think there is a certain preparing to fail out of the planet situation that goes on with people who isolate themselves this much.
I can also understand the relief.
Now, I obviously don't know your family history or anything like that, and again, a call in, you're more than welcome to call in,
But I don't think that the issue is, well, you just need to get on a regular schedule.
You need to do this, that, and the other, right?
That he is being consumed by a kind of self-hatred.
And when I think of the term self-hatred, or I hear the term self-hatred, I don't think of somebody who just wakes up one morning and says, I'm just going to hate myself.
I think of it as an internalized voice of an external hater.
You know, half of the internet is people trying to implant in you
Their hatred so that you stop doing whatever you're doing.
They try to paralyze you with this toxic verbal or typed venom of hatred so that you stop doing what you're doing.
And it takes a fairly robust person to experience some primordial hatred of themselves and not only survive but flourish.
And the way that you do it is you recognize that people who try to control you through hatred are too narcissistic to hate you personally.
I mean, obviously there are people who, you know, fear and hate me in the world and so on.
But the funny thing is, if, you know, if they met me, we'd probably have a pretty good time, right?
It's not me.
It's not me.
It's not me.
And whoever is hating on your brother,
That he's internalized.
He's internalized because he thinks it's about him, right?
So I don't mean to make it about myself, but if this is something that is of value, it would be something like, you know, my mother would openly say how much she hates me.
And that's not personal to me.
I mean, I'm actually, I'm such a nice person.
This is a funny thing, right?
I'm such a nice person that to hate me is bizarre, right?
I mean, it's nothing to do with me.
My mother hated her own choices.
You know, I think she was one of these people who, I mean, she really wanted to be taken care of.
She really wanted to get married.
And I think she viewed her kids as being in the way of that.
Actually, I kind of know that.
So her anger and hatred and frustration with me was not personal to me.
It would have been any kid, right?
So the general lie that hateful parents give you is that there's something wrong with you, you're worthy of the hates, you're so selfish or bad or mean or whatever it is.
But all you have to do is ask yourself one basic question.
Well, if it had been another kind of kid, like if you'd been removed and some other kid had been put in your place, would your parent be any different?
Well, no.
No, they wouldn't, right?
Because anyone who pours hatred down the gullet of a kid is a pretty monstrous person, and it's a different kid wouldn't make any difference.
In fact, I'll go you even further, I'll go one further, which is that
Even if my mother had no children, she still wouldn't have been any happier.
In fact, having children probably made her about as happy as she could, which was not very happy.
A little manic from time to time, but not happy at all.
Whoever's hating on your brother, and again, I don't know, I don't know, it's just obviously a stab in the dark, but whoever's hating on your brother has convinced your brother that it's something to do with him, that the hatred is justified in some way, and even if there's nobody in particular in your life, if your brother happens to have come in possession of some important and useful truths,
You know, it's a pretty tough slog, man, at times, to be in possession of true and useful facts.
Because true and useful facts are in direct opposition to the lies that power, in particular political power, political power is founded on falsehoods and lies.
And so, if you're in possession of truth, right, what's the old statement from Voltaire, it's dangerous to be right when the government is wrong?
So, if he's in possession of
A truth that is important and he tries to share it with people who claim to value the truth.
Right?
I mean, what are we always told?
As a kid, we're told two things.
Be accurate, tell the truth.
Be right, and tell the truth.
Right?
So, we're told to be right in our exams, right?
Like, if you get something wrong, you're marked a big gray X and you're marked down and you can have a year of your life taken from you by being forced to repeat a grade, right?
So, we're always told to be accurate, be correct, cite your sources, show your work, be accurate, be correct.
And we're also told to tell the truth.
Right?
That's what we're told as children.
So, we imagine, we fantasize, or believe, with evidence, that society cares about accuracy, the truth, right?
So, three things.
Be accurate, tell the truth, and be good, right?
And they also say, don't do what everyone else is doing, right?
I was told this, right?
Just don't do what everyone else is doing.
Oh, if everybody else jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do that too?
Right?
So, think for yourself, be accurate, tell the truth, be good, right?
How does that work out when you try to do that as an adult in society as a whole?
When you try to be accurate, you tell the truth, you think for yourself,
And you do good, right?
How does that work out?
So it turns out that all of these rules for children in school, they're just humiliation rituals.
It's just a way of exercising power over you and punishing you.
It's not because they want you to think for yourself.
It's not because they want you to actually be honest.
It's not because they want you to be accurate.
They just want to have a bunch of standards by which they can threaten and punish you to break your spirit.
So it could be any number of things.
It could be that your brother is waking up to the true nature of society.
In its current form, which is largely that it's a punitive madhouse that runs on the nuclear fuel of rank hypocrisy.
Sorry, I mean, I think I've earned the right to say these things, because I have.
What have I done?
I've been accurate.
I've consulted with experts for all the controversial things I've said.
I've been accurate.
I've told the truth.
I've been good, and I've thought for myself.
All the things that I was taught to do as a child, and I was told were super important, and if I didn't do them, I would be punished.
Funny story.
It turns out, if you don't do these things as a kid, in following the curriculum, you're punished.
And if you do do these things as an adult, following the facts, you're also punished.
Hey, look at that.
You're punished for being honest, good, and truthful as a child, and you're punished for being honest, good, and truthful as an adult.
Excellent.
Great job, everybody.
Way to set up.
A beautiful, functioning, sustainable society.
So there's something that's going on, right?
Something that he's trying to process.
And if you tell the truth in society, I mean, this is Jesus, Socrates, Galileo, like you name it, right?
If you tell the truth in society, the people who profit from lies kind of want you dead, right?
I mean, sometimes very explicitly and sometimes more subtly.
So to me, there would be some kind of thanatos, some kind of
Decay impulse going on in your brother and it's not about whether he has the right schedule or not, in my humble opinion, it would be about...
Who wants him paralyzed in this kind of way?
Could be parents, could be teachers, could be someone else in the family, could be an ex or a current.
It could be society as a whole.
But I would say that's probably the level of conversation that he needs.
And of course, if either of you want to call and show, you're more than welcome.
I hope that helps.
And again, remember, it's just a tentative hypothesis.
I don't know.
How can we best help you spread the message of peaceful parenting?
Just talk about the ideas with people.
Talk about the ideas.
You know, you can just, I mean, dinner table conversation.
Why do you think we have a phrase for every kind of bigotry except bigotry against children?
Why do we have racism, sexism, homophobia, Islamophobia, and so on?
Why do we have all of these terms but no term like childism, which is prejudice and bigotry against children?
Because, you know, there is demonstrably that in society, so why do you think, right?
So just things like that.
Hey Steph, do you have an opinion on lending people money?
I've always been a saver and maintained the mindset of self-reliance.
When life has thrown me a curveball, I have been able to manage financial eventualities on my own.
Perhaps because of this perception has been that all is well with me and I have no problems, maybe this is why people have always reached out to me for help.
I have to admit that I have had difficulty saying no, and of course most have paid me back, but there are a few times I've been burned.
Do you think in life
It should be our duty to help friends, family with need, or should I adopt a sterner policy?
And if so, could it be something that could come back to bite me?
Should I one day be in need?
Well, listen, I mean, I've borrowed and lent money and mostly it's been a negative experience.
And by that, I don't mean that people didn't pay me back.
For the most part, people have paid me back.
I mean, when I was young, but it is
Something that is a young person's prerogative, right?
So, once I got my first job, I never needed to borrow money again.
Like, my first real adult job as a coder or whatever, right?
I just didn't need to borrow money again.
There was a time when I was completely out of money, and that's what drove me very, very hard to get my first coding job, even though I have no training in coding, but a lot of hobby experience.
So,
Someone and no one was able to lend me money at that particular point.
And so like I was literally just panicked and so if somebody had lent me money I don't think I would have had the same urgency and because I had my first coding job.
I was able to get investment for my first software company so.
It was a lot of dominoes that were very positive that came out of me not being able to borrow money from people.
My friends were just going through a skint phase at that time.
Friends and family just couldn't lend me any money.
So the fact that nobody was able to lend me money was uncomfortable at the time, but, you know, launched my career in many ways.
I mean, it may have happened some other way, but I think that urgency, when you have genuine urgency, that can be quite powerful for people.
Um, but they really, really want to help.
So, I think having a buffer when you're young can be very helpful.
So, I'm trying to think.
I lent a girlfriend $2,400.
I lent a friend $850.
I think I borrowed a couple of hundred bucks here and there.
My rent was $275 when I was a student, and so there were little bits here and there that I lent and borrowed.
The unpleasant part was just that it took
I don't like hounding people.
Obviously, nobody does, right?
But I don't like hounding people, and I find that people tend to be avoidant, right?
If they don't have the money, but they promise to get it back to you, they just avoid you, and that's not good, right?
I mean, just in general, don't do that.
Like, just in general, say, I thought I was going to get the money, but this, this, and this happened.
And yeah, I think sometimes it took up to a year to get the money back.
And that's unpleasant.
That's unpleasant.
Not necessarily the year.
It's unpleasant that you have to not know what's going on.
The person avoids you.
That's the unpleasant part.
So yeah, it can happen.
Like, reasonable people understand that sometimes you think you can pay money back.
Turns out you can't for X, Y, and Z reason.
And
But you need to be sort of honest and upfront with that.
So, I found mostly it was the process of being dodged for the loan repayment that was the most unpleasant, not the actual loan and repayment.
Now, that stuff needs to time out though, right?
By the time you're in your mid-twenties, you shouldn't need to lend and borrow money because you should save your money!
You say you need a buffer.
Well, the buffer is called savings.
That's number one.
Number two, the reason why I still have no regrets about lending people money is that, you know, we were all of us in difficult financial situations when I was growing up.
We were all of us in these difficult financial situations.
I mean, the guy I lent money to, you know, had had real tragedies in the family and very expensive things, and he had to make a go of it alone early on in life.
And, you know, it's tough stuff.
So, most people get money or have that buffer because their parents will give or lend the money, right?
So, I got no money from family to go to university.
I got some grants and I did pretty well at earning scholarships, but I did not get any money from family.
And I borrowed some money and paid it back and so on, right?
I think it's important to remember for most people that the majority of people who've got decent family income and savings in their environment, they get money and resources from their family, and so those of us who are kind of like the Lost Boys, we definitely got
Money from each other.
We were each other's buffer.
And I think that was actually helpful.
I've always been sort of a real saver and I really hate to spend as a whole, unless it's on something that's an investment.
So I ended up lending more than I borrowed.
And then the one time I couldn't borrow, I ended up really launching my career.
So I have no particular issue with it, but just tell people up front, if you can't pay me back, just don't dodge me.
Just let me know.
That's all I need.
So I can plan, right?
Alright, hi Steph.
For the last 13 years, I've been helping my sister invest, from telling her what to invest in, through to managing those investments in real time, through weekly market research, alongside my investments as a full-time investor.
In the process, I've made her millions, and she is on the verge of generational wealth, which has allowed both her and her husband to either retire or semi-retire to focus on raising their child.
Over those 13 years I did not ask for anything in return.
I wanted to help my sister and I'm aware of the dangers of stealth contracts where you expect something in return even though the other person is not aware of it and now and how that can build resentment.
Despite
Knowing this I am starting to feel a bit of resentment due to the duration I have been doing it and the amount of money I've made her and I have nothing in return for all that I have done.
Even at Christmas all I was given was a 30 pound pair of jogging trousers which I didn't want.
Is it right to feel hurt by a lack of reciprocity even though I originally was happy to help her out without asking for anything in return or would this fall under a stealth contract which is wrong?
Sorry, why is a stealth contract wrong?
I don't... A stealth contract is one that's not explicit, but where you expect some kind of reciprocity?
I don't know that that's a stealth contract, I think that's just a reasonable request for reciprocity, or expectation of reciprocity, based on self-esteem, right?
I mean, if I ask for donations, and I do, freedomain.com slash donate, if I ask for donations, is that wrong?
No.
In fact, I started asking for donations because people wanted me to.
I mean, not saying it wasn't my, you know, still my choice, but I didn't even really know back in the day that you could take donations and all of that.
And people are like, I'd love to donate.
I'd love to help out the show.
This is so important.
So, uh, is it, is it wrong for me to ask for donations?
No.
Well, not at all.
I mean, it's responsible and important and necessary.
So, you know, I got payroll and all that.
So.
So, but I have a bigger issue as a whole with what you've done.
I have a bigger issue as a whole with what you've done.
So, I think it's very important in society to let people accumulate resources based on the actual skills they have.
I'm a big fan of charity for those in need, but you've made millions for people who aren't competent.
We're good.
You've taken millions and millions of dollars and you've handed it to people who aren't competent either financially or morally and I consider that a not good thing.
You see, we have scarce and precious resources in society, in the world, in life as a whole.
Savings are scarce, capital is scarce, I mean if you doubt that just go and try and raise capital for a business, right?
It's pretty hard to come by.
So, when you work very hard to transfer a huge amount of capital to people who are selfish, thoughtless, not good people, and bad with money, what you've done is you've taken society's scarce and precious seed crop, right?
The seed crop is, you can't eat this because we need to plant it in the spring, otherwise we starve to death forever.
So you've taken society's scarce seed crop and you've given it to really, really, really bad farmers.
And you've kept it away from really, really, really good farmers.
I don't think that's a particularly good thing.
I'll be straight up with you.
You, obviously, are thoughtful and sensitive, perhaps to a fault, which is very common and not a bad thing, but you are highly skilled in
Creating and maintaining capital.
So what's going to happen is at growing capital and good for you, like you serve a great function in society by providing resources to companies so they can grow and hire people.
So the people can start families and live good lives and have careers and save for their old age.
And you're doing a wonderful, great service with your investing and you have taken
Millions and millions and millions of dollars and handed it over to people who are mean, selfish and incompetent.
I mean, just based upon they've never offered you anything, they've never given you any particular thanks, it sounds like, and they buy you a cheap ass pair of trousers for Christmas after you've made them a number of millions of dollars.
So, I don't like, I personally, I'm just telling you, I don't like that you've spent 13 years handing capital over to mean and selfish people.
I mean, not only is that rewarding mean and selfish behavior, and they should damn well have been thanking you and paying you and praising you to the skies, and learning your tips and tricks and saying, we need to learn this stuff so that you don't have to do it because it's... So, you're going to stop doing this at some point, right?
Are you going to hand them all of their investments?
And what are they going to do?
You know, these kind of mean and selfish people who aren't good with money, what are they going to do with all of this precious seed capital that you're handing over to them?
Well, my guess is they're either going to find some other financial advisor who they're going to pay, or, and who's not going to be as good as you, so they're going to start losing the money relative to what they could have gained with you, or they're going to think they can do all you can do and they're going to waste it and blow it.
And that's not good.
They're going to malinvest, right?
They're going to malinvest.
Malinvestment is taking society's precious seed crops and throwing them into the ocean or on stony ground.
It's a waste.
It's a huge waste.
How are they going to keep this money if they're too incompetent and selfish and greedy to even thank you for creating it?
They won't.
Go read The Fountainhead for what happens when you overcharge people beyond their... like you charge up people beyond their own abilities.
It's not good.
It's not good.
So, I'm not a fan.
At all.
And I think you need to ask yourself why you've done this.
Why I've done this.
I have not watched the Netflix show Baby Reindeer.
We talked about the dating app thing last night.
And yes, the last question I have that I want to answer is... Steph, the following question is a follow-up question to a previous question I asked involving the Elephant Man.
Right, so there's a lot of preamble here, which I hope you'll forgive me if I skip.
So on a very recent call in with a German guy, you asked the German guy, what's the issue in regards to following principles?
And he said, it's hard.
I was very interested in hearing what he was referring to when he said it's hard.
I think I know what he was referring to.
I think he was referring to the fact that if you follow principles, it will likely lead you nowhere in the modern world of women and relationships.
Not to say I have a problem with the principles you advocate for Steph, but it does.
But does following principles really lead to results in the modern world of dating?
And relationships.
So evidence is women are drawn to bad guys jerks and even in some cases criminals.
I don't have to remind you the most popular book of all time with women is Fifty Shades of Grey about a brutal arrogant jerk who blindfolds women and smacks them on the ass with a belt and wooden spoon.
Oh, he does worse than that.
Women love drama, according to the saying.
You can make a woman feel anything, just don't make her feel nothing.
Now I get and fully understand the point of following principles that you advocate for, Steppard, in the face of all the evidence that suggests the average woman isn't really looking for a guy with virtue who follows principles.
You have to deal with these facts.
And so this goes on and on, and I guess my only question would be, do you want a woman
Who wants you to beat her?
Do you want a woman who wants to date a criminal?
Do you want a woman who goes from tall alcoholic to muscular drug user and back?
I mean, do you want that these women are out there?
Is that who you want?
Okay, so if that's who you want, then I guess you can go and date those people and see what happens, right?
You can go and see what happens when you date highly disturbed, self-loathing, dysfunctional women.
Whose fundamental value is only sexual, right?
In other words, if there was no sexual transactions involved, nobody would give them the time of day.
Okay, so you can go and date those women and you can abandon principles and you can see what happens.
It won't be good.
In fact, it could be seriously bad, but you can certainly do that.
So, my argument though would be that if you follow principles, those women won't want to date you.
And that's a good thing.
That's a good thing.
If you follow principles, the crazy, bad, dysfunctional, self-loathing women, the unstable women, the dangerous women, oh no, they won't want to date you, oh no, how terrible, you miss out on all the stalkers, and the women who slash your tires, and the women who falsely accuse you of rape, and the women who falsely accuse you of beating them, and even if you never
Do anything bad, they will then go on social media and name and shame you as an emotional abuser.
Why?
Because you dared to question or oppose them.
Look on all of the excitement you're missing out on by following principles.
Do you want these women?
I mean, if you want these women, you know what to do.
Just go pander to them and work out and develop addictions or whatever it is, whatever they like, and just go and you'll get those women.
So I'm not sure what you're saying to me.
I'm genuinely not sure what you're saying.
Are you saying that the women who want to have sex with sociopathic criminals won't also want to have sex with you if you follow principles?
And you're saying that's a bad thing?
I'm sorry, I'm a little confused here.
The women who
will spermjack you and then get pregnant with your kid even if you don't want to get pregnant and then sue you for child support for 20 years.
Are you saying that principals will somehow not give you access to these lovely ladies who will make your life so much better and more wonderful?
Oh no!
The women who want to have sex with sociopaths and criminals and rapists and murderers.
Boy, they just won't want to date me if I principal stuff.
How do I solve this conundrum?
Okay, well, if you want to date these crazy women, these immoral women, these ELO-style evil women, then you can give up your principles and you can go and date these women and you can have, I guess, a very exciting and dangerous life.
Don't have kids with them, if you can avoid it, because then you're putting the kids in harm's way.
So, are you saying that, Steph, well, the principles you advocate might shield me from women who have a fetish for violent criminals?
Well, yeah.
That's not a bug, that's a feature.
And you're complaining that it's a bug.
So if you have a fetish for women who have a fetish for violent criminals, you should just be honest about that and say, Steph, well, I can't fulfill my fetish for violent women who have a fetish for violent criminals if I act on principle.
If I live principled life, I don't get access to sociopathic, immoral, deranged, and dangerous women.
And you're saying this to me like that's a problem.
Now, if you say there aren't any virtuous women in the world, and therefore I'm going to get no one, that the only women who are out there are the women whacking off to Fifty Shades of Grey and chasing criminals, okay, well then you probably need to change your social circle, because I don't know any women like that, and I know a lot of women.
So, you're moving in the wrong circles, right?
You're moving in a circle where terrible people are doing terrible things
to the vulnerable on a daily basis, and have no chance of changing any time in the future.
So, you just need to change.
If everybody looks bad for you, you're in the wrong social circle.
If the only women around are these terrible women who have a fetish for violent criminals, and you can't imagine any other kind of woman, then that's on you.
That's on the social circles you've chosen to move in.
Right, that's the trash planet, the low-rent district, the underworld that you want to slither through like a shark on steroids.
Okay, so are you then complaining to me that there aren't any good women in your environment and therefore philosophy is bad?
Change your environment!
Change your environment.
It's like saying, well, I can't be outside, Steph, because I can't be outside for eight hours in the sun with no shirt on, Steph, because I get sunburned.
It's like, okay, well, put on a shirt, sunscreen, maybe take some shade once in a while.
You'll be fine, right?
Change your environment.
Change your environment.
Now, I will certainly say that if you want a life that's really exciting and not full of useless, empty, self-generated drama, then live by principles.
If it's excitement you crave, and if you have a fetish for dangerous women, maybe it is excitement that you crave, and if you're complaining that philosophy doesn't help you bang dangerous women, I mean, you're trying to defuse a bomb that always goes off, right?
You know that.
They're more skilled at going off than you are at defusing.
If you want a life that's truly exciting, live by principles.
If you avoid achieving your goals, if you fail to achieve your goals, if you fail to even try to achieve your goals, then you ride the rollercoaster of regret and despair and self-justification.
And maybe it was a good idea, but then I met this person who did achieve their goals and now I feel bad, but then I met this person who fails, so then I feel better.
Right?
So you're going to ride a rollercoaster in life no matter what.
So you might as well achieve something because the ride's going to be extreme no matter what.
The ride's going to be extreme no matter what.
So, choose your extremity.
Choose your intensity.
Not whether there is intensity, but, or even the degree of intensity, just choose your intensity.
I mean, certainly you've listened to enough call-in shows, I'm sure, where people have avoided making wise decisions based on philosophical principles, and then they end up in these complete disaster scenarios with virtually no way out.
Right?
They end up in these absolute disaster scenarios with virtually no way out.
Is that what you want?
Look at all these people.
They avoided principles and then they ended up getting divorced and not seeing their kids, being chased through the legal system, false accusations, all kinds of terrible things.
So look, they avoided principles and they got a wife and kids and their life is terrible.
Or they avoided principles, didn't tell the truth and confront the people in their lives who'd done them wrong and then they end up trapped living in a garage at the age of 45.
So that's not fun.
Your life is going to be intense no matter what.
And people think they can avoid that intensity by avoiding principles.
You just choose a different intensity that's worse.
Have intensity plus pride as opposed to intensity plus shame.
There is no situation wherein the avoidance of principles does not result in intensity.
I mean, that's a lie, right?
Avoid principles and your life will become easy.
Yeah, right.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, I understand it.
I mean, in the short run to idiots, I'm not calling you an idiot, but in general, to idiots in the short run, it's like, wow, man, look at that guy gets up early, goes to the gym, you know, stretches and exercises.
I mean, he,
He doesn't seem to eat that much, man.
Look at that guy.
That's like, that's too much work, man.
That's intense.
That's like crazy.
That's like being a workaholic.
That's being stressed.
Where's his chill?
Where's his relaxation, man?
And so you get the people who sleep in and who don't exercise and who indulge their appetites and eat whatever they want.
And, you know, in a relatively short timeframe, the people who sleep in, who don't exercise, who eat whatever they want.
They look like they're having a better time.
I get that.
I understand that.
That's pretty obvious, right?
Blah blah blah blah blah.
But you know, fast forward 20 years, who's having a better life?
You know, I spend eight hours a week exercising.
I mean, I get other things done while I'm exercising.
I do business calls.
I'll even play, you know, a game of Catan on a computer, a tablet or something.
I'll get other things done while I'm exercising, but I do eight hours.
Now, some of that includes, you know, the very brisk walking I do sometimes when I'm doing shows, but I will exercise for eight hours a week.
So, it's, you know, it's a minor part-time job.
And the result of that is I'm still alive because I had cancer and the base of health that I had really helped me overcome the cancer and shrug it off pretty quickly.
And the quality of life that I have is extraordinarily high.
There's really nothing other than I'm a little nervous to full sprint ever since I had a knee.
I cracked a knee on a hotel room floor in St.
Louis some years ago.
I'm a little nervous to do a full sprint, but I can still run because I run when I'm playing racquet sports.
So, but there's virtually nothing that I can't do now that I could do when I was 17.
I can hike, I can play an hour plus of hard sports, I do 40 minutes of the highest setting on a cardio machine, I lift the same weights that I did when I was in my teens.
So, quality of life.
So people can say, man, think of all the hours you've wasted exercising.
Okay, let's say that that was all a complete waste, even though it wasn't.
Let's say that it was all a complete waste.
But the quality of life that I have now is better, infinitely better.
If I hadn't exercised, A, I probably would have died from the cancer, and B, even if I hadn't even gotten cancer and all of that, what would have happened?
Well, my back would be shot, my knees would be shot, I'd be overweight, you know, like labored breathing, couldn't move anywhere, quality of life would be terrible.
So, you're saying, well, I don't want to
Sleep well, I don't want to exercise, I don't want to eat well, because that's tough, right?
And okay, but you're just choosing your suffering.
You suffer now or you suffer later.
You suffer in a temporary way, and there's times when exercise is quite unpleasant, and you just kind of have to do it, right?
Like, I mean, there's times when I don't want to do, I didn't want to do a show last night for a variety of reasons.
I was in a slightly crabby mood for things outside of the show and I just didn't really feel like it, but it turned out to be a good thing to do.
And I'm glad I did it.
It's the same thing with exercise.
I don't want to go on exercise.
I just want to sit on the couch.
Maybe I'm feeling tired.
I want to nap and sometimes a nap is okay, but sometimes exercise is the better idea.
So I go do it.
And then once I start doing it, it's fine.
You know, the usual thing, right?
And you have enough experience that you can tell that by now, or at least I do.
So you're saying, well, I can't get the trashy women if I have principles, and I'm like, why would you complain about that?
You say, ah, well, there aren't any non-trashy women.
Well, I know a lot of high quality women.
In fact, every woman in my environment, socially and work-wise, every woman in my environment is a high quality woman that men would be very happy and lucky to get to be with.
So you're in the wrong circles.
And you're saying, well, Steph, there's an incompatibility between the trash planet I live in and having principles.
And I'm like, yes, there is.
And you're complaining about this as a bug when it is in fact a feature.
And you may have to make that desert trek that I talk about in my book on truth, the tyranny of illusion.
You may have to make that desert trek
Where it looks like you're heading out to your death, but there's a glimmering village of like-minded souls on the far side of the desert, and it's worth making the trek because where you are, the oasis is drying up, right?
So you either die at the oasis or you make the trek.
And so, yeah, if you're saying, well, I can't find any quality women, then you need to change your environment.
And I don't know exactly how you do that because I don't know where you are.
Of course, call in at freedomaine.com.
Happy to chat about this further.
But if you're complaining that Principles is keeping you from dating women who want to date criminals, I'm not really sure what to say to you other than, yeah, I tell you that it is, right?
And if you start acting on Principles, you'll really be amazed at who you end up running into because we can tell each other.
I'm constantly scanning for people of nobility and integrity and purpose.
Constantly scanning for people like that.
And once you become good,
And you start living on principle, you will see other people.
It's like this Masonic secret handshake.
You'll see other people, you'll fall into conversation with them, and you'll become fast friends before you know it.
Whereas if you are not living on principle, I will see that right away, and I'll just pass you by.
You know, I'll chat with you for a few minutes or whatever, exchange some pleasantries, but I'll pass you by.
So, if you say, well, I can't find any good people, it's because you're not good enough and you're not socializing enough.
If you're good enough and socialize enough, you'll find the good people.
And you'll find the good women.
I mean, it's not an accident that after I went through therapy, I found my wife.
After I did two years of major therapy for like...
Eight to ten hours a week, three hours plus journaling.
After I did all of that work, oh look, it's a miracle!
I found my wife, right?
So, again, I say this with sympathy because, you know, I was born in a trash planet and I lived there for a while, but there's ways out and it has to do with self-knowledge and a commitment to virtue.
And yes, there are people who want you to stay there and there are people, like you understand, there's just people around you who want to fill you with despair at the idea of principles so they don't have to be good.
We are in a constant tug-of-war with the people around us, which is why the people around us need to be pulling in the right direction, otherwise we're just going to fall forever.
Oh, what a lovely sentence.
So, there are people around you who want you to feel despair.
It's kind of demonic, right?
There are people around you who want you to feel despair at
The idea of living by principles, because they don't live by principles, and they don't want you to live by principles, because if you do it, they should have done it, and they'll feel bottomless regret.
So they're engaged in a battle for your soul, where they're saying, well, you know, principles, it's all nice in theory, but there's no point in practice, it'll just end up with you isolated, alone, it's all ideology, and you end up being really judgy and perfectionist, and you can't get along with anybody, and you can't relax, you've got no chill, you've got no
Right?
I mean, they're just trying to talk you out of being good because they chose to be bad.
I mean, we understand that, right?
We understand that.
If you've got a bunch of fat friends and you start going to the gym and exercising, they're probably going to sabotage you.
I mean, or maybe they'll be inspired and join you, but that's not usually how it works with virtue.
Right?
A lack of virtue, a commitment to corruption, particularly when you've corrupted others, quickly becomes terminal, right?
Terminal to your conscience, to your soul.
And certainly once you've done the kind of immorality that can't be undone, like if you've hurt and corrupted children, you can't undo that.
If you've hurt and corrupted others, you can't undo that.
So now you're just all in on corruption.
You're just all in on corruption.
And so everyone's whispering into your ear.
Well, man, you know, Hey, you can't be good, man.
Cause because all women are bad.
Don't you know?
All women are bad.
And so if you're just, if you're this Mr. Integrity guy, you're never going to get laid.
You're never going to get a woman because all women are bad.
Right?
Yeah, I get that.
So they're just trying to bribe you with corrupt, stanky pussy in order for you to give up the glory of your moral potential.
Yeah.
I bribe you with.
Half whores in order for you to give up your soul and your integrity.
I get that.
Okay.
So I don't recommend that, but you can do that.
You can do that.
But don't come to me and complain that Virtue is keeping the bad girls away from your plumb-lined-to-hell penis.
No, sir, does not sell me a single penny of this penny stock.
All right.
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