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April 9, 2024 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
01:46:50
Rage is Lazy!
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Good evening, everybody.
Welcome to your Friday Night Live.
And I hope you're doing well.
There won't be a show next Wednesday, but that's the last time I'll be cancelling.
I'm on a recording project elsewhere, so it's the last Wednesday I'll be cancelling, so sorry about that.
But we are getting back to the Wednesday, after next Wednesday, but not next Wednesday.
Alright.
So, interesting comment or piece of feedback.
Hopefully you'll find this interesting too.
Hi Steph, I've listened to you consistently since around 2008.
I probably catch 60% of your episodes via podcast RSS only.
I feel like I know you as well as a listener can.
We also did a few interviews together around 2012 whilst you were still doing a lot of anarcho-capitalist content.
One moment stood out very strongly last year.
I heard you say, there must be something about me which does not evoke loyalty from others.
Referring to other conservative public figures.
I'm not a conservative, but whatever, right?
And it's interesting.
So, I mean, as far as loyalty goes, I know I evoke loyalty in friends and family because I have wonderful people in my life who are extraordinarily loyal to me and I am loyal to them as well but anyway so he says
I thought that was a very astute reflection and I do think it's true.
I also recently heard you asking for feedback about the live streams because donations were waning.
Yeah, it's true.
It's been a bit of a low month.
I recently caught myself increasingly abandoning episodes where you're complaining about your software slash hardware or bickering with people on the live stream over their comments or choice of words.
For me, the call-in shows were always my favorite.
I feel like they've been less frequent lately.
I also used to like the interviews with other public figures but they also seem less frequent nowadays.
Well, no kidding.
For some reason I felt that complimenting you, thanking you, or praising you is unnecessary here, Ben.
So yeah, it's interesting.
I'm always happy to get the feedback and that's interesting.
For some reason I felt that complimenting you, thanking you, or praising you is unnecessary here.
So he's been listening to me For 14 years, right?
No, 16 years.
He's been listening to me for 16 years.
And it's really interesting that he says, I don't feel the need to compliment, thank you, or praise you.
Isn't that interesting?
I mean, honestly, if I had been rapidly consuming someone's content for 16 years, I don't know if he's a donor or not.
That's not particularly important.
But if I had been consuming someone's content for 16 years, and a lot of their content.
It would be interesting to know why he wouldn't say, you know, thanks for the great content, or you've got a unique show.
Like, he's consumed thousands and thousands of hours of my slash our content, right?
And I thought it was very interesting.
So he said that was a very astute reflection, and I do think it's true.
So, I don't evoke loyalty from others.
And there's certainly some truth in that.
Like, when I was de-platformed, everybody was just like, whoa!
They de-spawned, right?
I didn't get any calls or emails, even privately or anything like that, saying, gosh, I'm so sorry, that's a tough thing.
And, you know, I get that, you know, if there's a smoking crater where my career was, some people might not be overly keen on joining me in the Crater of martyrdom or something like that.
I can understand that.
People who are at different phases in life, like I'm 57, so it's different than if you're 30 or whatever it is, right?
It's a different kind of life.
So, you know, I get all of that, but it's interesting to me that this guy would say, it's a very astute reflection that you don't avoid loyalty, and then this guy who's consumed thousands of hours of content, for some reason I feel that complimenting you, thanking you, or praising you is unnecessary here.
Now isn't that interesting?
Because that would be a kind of loyalty.
And it's interesting that he's been listening to me for 16 years and the only email he sent to me is critical.
Now, that's interesting in a relationship.
I don't know if you have this in relationships.
I just had a long call in today with a woman who wanted to positively affect her brother's decision because she felt he was sailing into a bear trap of a marriage with a woman who could wreck his life.
And so we had a lot of conversations today about how do you have credibility with people, right?
Hit me with a why if you have people in your life that you want more credibility with.
You want them to listen to your advice, to your thoughts, to your feedback, to what it is that you have to contribute.
They're not doing it in the way that you would like.
Thank you for your book, Peaceful Parenting.
It's the most powerful thing you've ever done.
Well, thank you.
I appreciate that.
I'm still two-thirds done.
I'm going to get back more into it.
You did in the past?
I mean, I do.
I mean, I certainly do.
So yeah, how do you have credibility?
How do you have credibility?
Well, one of the ways that you have credibility is you don't make your first communication in a long-term relationship criticism.
Love the show.
Always have.
With you since 2010.
Thanks, Vince.
I really, really appreciate that.
It's a great, great name, by the way.
Thank you.
You have to admit on some level you enjoy reading the complimentary comments.
What do you mean?
You have to admit on some level you enjoy reading the complimentary comments.
I don't understand what you're talking about.
I mean, do I enjoy being complimented?
Yeah, it's not unimportant.
Like the Dune Review, what do you think about the marriage for duty?
I don't know.
Sorry, I'm trying not to be overly difficult here, but I don't know what that means.
What do I think of the marriage for duty?
Do you mean in Dune?
So this person has been listening to me for 16 years, catches the majority of my episodes, and says, oh, you don't evoke loyalty, and he says, but I'm not going to give you any praise or thanks or compliments.
So he doesn't even know why he's not loyal to me, right?
He doesn't know why.
So the lack of insight is really, really quite something.
Now, he says, I really recently caught myself increasingly abandoning episodes where you're complaining about your software slash hardware or bickering with people in the live stream over their comments or choice of words.
Now, I hope that you find the rants about Bluetooth and so on funny or engaging or enjoyable.
I hope that's the case.
Obviously, every piece of comedy is not for everyone in the world, but I think, personally, I think most of us face tech frustrations.
I mean we just did today trying to get the show started, right?
So I think for a lot of people the tech frustrations are something that we all experience and I just want to tell you something too, by the by.
I thought about this.
How cheap am I?
Well, how cheap am I?
I'm so cheap that if I have to scrape my lips off to get the last little bit of... Gosh, what do I have here?
Oh yeah, to get the last little bit of chapstick.
Like, look at that!
Look at that chapstick!
Look at it!
It's like a crater!
Bleeding my lips!
Anyway, I'll keep pushing it.
And I'll scrape my armpits into like a bloody hamburger mess to get the last little bit.
I don't wear antiperspirant.
I find that kind of creepy, but I will wear deodorant.
So, first of all, I think everyone has tech frustrations and I think knowing that I have them too is probably a little bit of a comfort.
I've been working in this field now for 17 plus 18 years and the fact that I still have tech issues I think is kind of funny.
Some people find them relatable.
I think we all go through them at one time or another and I try to put them forward in an engaging way.
And also I want to show people that you can have these kinds of frustrations and still come out swinging.
You know, I hate the fact that we had to waste 10 minutes at the beginning of this show with something not working.
And yet, still got to do a good show, got to shake it off and move forward.
So I think there's some demonstrable stuff in there that's so, complaining about so.
Or bickering with people on the live stream.
Now bickering is interesting.
Bickering is an interesting way to phrase it.
And it's interesting to me that this person is most interested in the anarcho-capitalist content, which I like as well and it's very important.
But in terms of the self-knowledge, So when he said, one moment stood out very strongly last year, I heard you say, there must be something about me which does not evoke loyalty from others.
Referring to other conservative public figures, I thought that was a very astute reflection, and I do think it's true, and I was hoping that he'd give me some insight into what he thought about that.
Right?
It's like, oh, the reason is X, Y, or Z or what you do or what you don't do or, you know, whatever, some virtue I could be displaying or some vice that I'm displaying.
This is why.
I was like, great, this guy's been around.
He knows me about as well as anyone can.
Something which I thought about quite a bit is, you know, that I don't seem to evoke a certain kind of loyalty.
And he's like, I think it's true.
I know you about as well as a listener can.
And then he didn't give me any thoughts.
He didn't give me any thoughts.
He actually modelled or demonstrated not showing any loyalty without giving thanks.
So... Isn't that interesting?
I talk a lot about self-knowledge.
I was really hoping that he'd give me some feedback on why it's possible that I didn't get colleague loyalty out of things, right?
So, he didn't.
And I thought that was really interesting because it's like watching somebody open their mouth to start singing an opera and then they just walk off stage.
Okay, bye.
It's interesting, right?
The call-in shows were always my favorite.
I feel like they've been less frequent lately.
I'm still doing a lot of call-in shows, and I also used to like the interviews with other public figures, but they also seem less frequent nowadays, which I find kind of odd.
Thank you, I appreciate that, Dorbenz.
Like, I haven't been interviewing people since I was deplatformed, because it's... Well, first of all, I've talked to just about anybody I want to talk to, and also for people it can be, given that the show was pretty... had a pretty toxic reputation for a while there.
I don't know, like, I don't know if I want to be... I don't know how bad it is now.
I don't really think about it that much.
I don't really want to be one of those Japanese guys, like, 20 years after World War II, living in the jungle, thinking the war's still going on and it's all moved on.
But he says he's a very loyal listener.
But it's been three and a half years since I really interviewed anyone.
And he's like, I also feel they've been less common lately.
And it's like, okay, well, so whatever, right?
Gratitude is an expression of loyalty.
Well, sure.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
For sure.
Yeah, like all the people who... I was the OG of a lot of this movement, right?
I mean, I was doing it from 2005 onwards, and I did help a lot of people get started.
They don't owe me anything for it or anything like that, but, you know, when you get de-platformed, a private message, you know, saying, I'm sorry, that's tough, blah, blah, blah, wouldn't have been the end of the world.
It wouldn't have been the end of the world.
But I didn't get that, right?
And it wasn't like I had a lot of stuff to do and work on to sort of make a transition, so it wasn't like every morning I'm like, why doesn't anybody meet?
But you know, it was something that I kind of noticed in passing as I was dealing with all of the challenges of deplatforming and so on.
So I think gratitude can be a very It can indicate a respect for the bullets that I've taken, a respect for being one of the first people in the alternative media period, let alone in this movement or whatever you want to call it.
Helping a lot of people's careers get started and so on.
Not bad, right?
Not bad.
So what's interesting is that I think that...
...
Mmm.
Sorry, I just read another question.
You love Bluetooth when it works?
Yeah, Bluetooth is great when it works.
For sure.
For sure.
I'd love to see a discussion with Pearl Davis.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not sure that we'd have a huge amount to say.
I prefer to play volleyball with her.
I'm a total volleyball addict.
And I don't get to play it as much as I like.
Now with regards to bickering with people in the live stream, see it's interesting and it's always a question I don't have any particular answer because this show I'm always trying to break new ground with this show.
Now If someone says something that is annoying to me, and again, me being annoyed doesn't mean anything objective or factual, it just means that I'm annoyed.
But if somebody says something that's annoying to me, do I say to myself, your annoyance is invalid, ignore the person, move on, or am I more honest and direct?
That's always a big question, right?
Because if I'm honest and direct, then some people will say, you're just bickering with people, you know, you're just picking on people, just have a totally separate live stream, don't take the, move on, be bigger, let it go, like, it's interesting, right?
So, because if someone says something to me, well, if someone says something to me that's funny, and I repeat it, I think that's enjoyable, right?
If someone says something that moves me, and I repeat it, I think that's positive, isn't it?
If someone says something that makes me sad, thank you for the tip.
If someone says something that makes me sad, like, I remember back on the days in Twitter where somebody hit me with a truly solar plexus hit, right?
So, and, and, you know, you gotta hand it, some people just have that kind of brilliance, right?
And I remember it still quite vividly.
It's a couple, five years ago, whatever, right?
And what happened was I said both my parents were mentally ill and institutionalized, right?
And then Somebody posted an older quote of mine on Twitter that said, there's no factor of personality that escapes genetics, right?
And I remember posting it, I said, you know, I gotta tell you, that hits hard.
That's a hit, I'm not, a very palpable hit, that's a hard hit, not gonna lie.
That hits me in the feels, right?
Because, you know, I won't be honest about that, right?
And so, If someone posts a very funny joke and I repeat it, that's positive.
If somebody posts something that makes me laugh, I could repeat it.
If somebody posts something that makes me sad... But if somebody posts something that makes me angry, suddenly that's a whole different category.
Do you see what I mean?
Do you see what I mean?
The annoyance or the anger is like a whole different category.
And it's always interesting to me to see which emotions are good, acceptable, positive for people
and which emotions are unacceptable, right?
That I find really interesting.
I can engage in a positive, funny, humorous, sad, happy, whatever way with the audience, and that's fine.
But if I'm annoyed at something, now it's bickering, it's negative, it's pointless, it's this, it's that, whatever it is, right?
And that emotion is verboten.
What's annoying to me, I'll just be straight up, and I appreciate this guy's email, but I tell you what's annoying to me, what's annoying to me is the person doesn't say, I appreciate your passion, but your anger makes me uncomfortable.
Because that would be honesty with the self.
Steph, I appreciate your passion, you know, you laugh, you cry, you're positive, you're negative, but so your passion is really important to me.
But your anger is really upsetting to me, and I feel the need to denigrate you for your anger.
Do you see what I mean?
Now, if my anger was abusive, I could understand that.
If I was calling people, you know, jerkwads and a-holes and this, that and the other, then I could understand why somebody would say, your anger is disturbing and upsetting to me.
I think, now I'm not trying to model anger being a positive and healthy thing, but I think it is.
And if I get angry at someone, and I'm not abusive, and we actually end up getting somewhere very important and positive as a result of me getting angry, isn't that a plus?
Isn't that a plus?
So, my question is always then, if somebody's been listening since 2008 for 16 years,
why contact me now?
Well, because my anger, when it happens, is making him uncomfortable and he wants me to stop it.
So what he's saying to me is, your anger is costing you Donations, right?
Because what he says is... Feedback about the live streams because donations were waning.
Complaining about your software hardware.
Well, a lot of people find that funny, right?
So, you know, I get that.
Now, maybe I could do it too much or too long, but it's once in a while.
Or bickering with people on the live stream over their comments or choice of words.
Now that's interesting too.
Do I just bicker with people over their choice of words?
That's it.
You could have said mauve, not purple.
I don't bicker with people over their comments or choice of words.
That's not right.
Because then he's saying that your anger is irrational and it's costing you donations.
But for some reason, I feel that complimenting you, thanking you, or praising you is unnecessary here.
Now, the reason for that seems very clear to me.
And again, if you wrote this email and you hear this, you know, we do a call in, you can tell me if I'm wrong or anything like that.
But this is my sort of guess, is that this person had somebody who was verbally very aggressive in his life.
And he's put himself in the mental category called listener rather than politician or corrupt XYZ fiat currency person or whatever, right?
So he's put himself in the category of listener.
So when I get angry with listeners, I get angry at a category that involves him.
So it's like watching an abusive dad rail at a sibling if I get angry at a listener and he wants me to stop doing that.
That would be my guess.
Because if it's worth sending me the email to tell me to stop doing something, isn't it worth making a good case for it to really help me?
Does that make sense?
So, saying the reason why your donations have declined is because
You rant about tech problems once in a while and you express anger or frustration or annoyance with people on the live stream.
It's not a good case.
Now, the way to make the case and, you know, if I'm doing irrational things or I'm doing things that are problematic, please let me know, right?
It would be to say Your anger against a listener's comment is not rational because of X, Y, and Z. This is how to help people.
So he would then say, let's say somebody said, I like dogs, and I said, dogs are unclean, filthy, vile, and I just railed at that person and called him crazy or a psycho.
Okay, that would be an example of this.
Look, all the guy said was he didn't like dogs, or he liked dogs, and now you're all blah blah blah, right?
Or if some woman said, I like cats, and I said, You're the reason why the birth rate is declining.
You refuse to have... without even finding out if she's a mom or whatever, right?
That would be too much and over and above.
So he could say, here's the stimulus and here's your response that is out of whack.
with the stimulus.
I hope that this... I don't want to over explain this, but I also want to make sure it makes sense.
Just make sure that... Hit me with a why if it makes sense, what I'm saying.
I'm happy to take criticism, of course, right?
I mean, I absolutely could be doing things wrong and I'm happy to be corrected.
But using the word bickering is insulting, right?
It's just saying, I'm bickering.
So that's insulting, which is fine.
If I am bickering, it's not an insult.
But if you give me an insult without evidence, it's just an insult.
Does that make sense?
Yes, it does.
I think it makes sense.
So if somebody says, you're bickering and here's the example.
Great!
Maybe you're right.
I have a trigger or whatever it is that I'm not aware of.
But if you say, Steph, you're just bickering over people's comments or choice of words, then he's saying you're being irrationally triggered, you're being petty and maybe even a little malevolent.
And all of that's possible.
I'm a human being.
I can do these things.
I can be malevolent and petty and all of that.
But if you give people a criticism without an explanation, it's just an insult.
I want to say this because this is not about me, you understand?
Everybody's going to get this kind of feedback all the time in the world, right?
If you give people criticism without details, it's just an insult.
So he's got a stick and a carrot to get me to change my behavior, right?
Now, the stick of course is what's costing you donations.
No.
The stick is, you're just bickering with people, right?
So that's bad, it's irrational, and so on, right?
But the carrot is, oh, and you'll get more donations if you don't do this, right?
So it's a bribe and a threat, right?
The threat is, you're just bickering, it's bad, and the bribe is, oh, you'll make more money, you'll get more donations if you're, if what?
If what?
If what?
Am I supposed to be dishonest?
If somebody does something that annoys me, I mean, occasionally I'll see comments, whatever, it's not worth it, but if it's repetitive and if it's disruptive, what's wrong with being honest about being annoyed?
That's my question.
Right?
Now, I am honest.
I say, I'm annoyed.
I don't say, you're a bad person.
I'll say, I'm annoyed.
Here's why I think, right?
Here's why I think it's happening and, you know, I'm happy to be corrected and so on.
What's wrong, and I'm open to this, I'm absolutely open to this, right?
What's wrong with being honest about being annoyed?
If someone is annoying me, Now, it would be dishonest to say, I'm being annoyed because you're a total jerk, right?
That would be false, right?
That would not be RTR, that would be jumping to conclusions rather than being honest about my feelings and my experience and my thoughts.
So to jump to conclusions would be nasty.
Now, what's wrong with being honest and direct about being annoyed?
Because if somebody says something that is hilarious, and I repeat it and laugh, nobody gets mad, right?
Somebody rips off a really funny joke, I repeat it, have a belly laugh, we're all fine, aren't we?
Somebody says something which makes me emotional, not mean, right, but just something that really stirs up some emotion
in me and I get a little teary-eyed or whatever, most people are
fine with that, right?
What's wrong with being honest about being annoyed?
Thank you.
All right, let me get to you.
And I'm happy to hear how, you know, maybe I'm expressing it badly.
I mean, I'm trying to be as honest as I can, but I can't, I mean, am I supposed to, in this scenario, am I supposed to lie?
Because that's what he's asking.
Because by framing it as bickering, right, if he'd have framed it as something like, when you get annoyed, at a listener.
When you get annoyed at a participant in the live stream, I want you to pretend you didn't.
That would be an interesting argument to make, right?
Now he could say, you should lie for money.
So you should pretend you're not annoyed when you are annoyed.
And again, sometimes I can shake off the annoyance if it's just like I shook off the annoyance about the tech problems and we're just hopefully having a productive show now.
That's fine, I can shake that stuff off.
But if somebody is being repetitive and annoying, should I lie?
And he's saying, well, you'll get more donations if you lie.
I don't think that's true.
Because I have real respect for you as an audience.
I really do.
I know that sounds like you're the most wonderful audience.
Thank you for coming.
I know it sounds like Elvis stuff, right?
But honestly, if I were to be annoyed, And pretend I wasn't, wouldn't you catch that?
I mean, it's a lot of camera.
You know, the camera doesn't lie.
If I were to be annoyed, have it interfere with my thinking, and not pause and address it,
you'd notice that, right?
So, should I say, well, if I'm annoyed, I should lie about it,
so that you'll donate more money?
I don't know.
I don't know.
It seems that way, right?
But he says, just bickering.
Well, actually, and bickering isn't even an accurate phrase, because bickering is back and forth, right?
Whereas, of course, I have a monopoly on the microphone, it's not a call-in show, whatever it is, right?
So I can choose to read the comments or not, I've got a fair amount of control in this environment.
So it's not bickering.
But bickering is an insulting word.
Because bickering is about emotional avoidance and projection, right?
All right, so let's see here.
I'm going to get back to your comments here.
Yes, Alan says, that's a good one.
Why don't people offer an explanation?
No one ever listens to their reasons.
Maybe.
Mobius says, I wonder how much of the drop-off in income is a response to your content or whether it's just a reflection of people having less money due to the current economy.
I'm seeing problems everywhere and money is getting thin for everyone I know.
Well, I, you know, and I appreciate that.
I thought of it first, Ben.
No, I mean, I appreciate that.
And I think you are right about that.
And of course, COVID had something to do with that, right?
For sure.
And inflation has housing prices.
And you know, of course, white males not getting really any jobs these days.
So I completely understand that.
And I just want to reiterate, and thank you for bringing that to my attention.
It's very helpful.
I just really want to reiterate.
That if you're short on cash, enjoy the show.
No guilt.
No pressure.
Don't worry about it.
Don't feel bad.
The last thing I'd want you to do, if you're broke, is not get access to philosophy because you feel guilty about not being able to contribute.
Come and enjoy the shows.
Read the books.
Watch the documentaries.
Do whatever you can to get a hold of philosophy.
Feel absolutely bad about nothing whatsoever.
At all.
Right?
So I really, really want to be clear about that.
And I don't want to guilt anyone into donating.
If it's been a while since you've donated and you'd like to help out the show, I think it's a fair exchange of value if you can afford it.
Not talking a princely sum here, but yeah, freedomain.com slash donate.
Just remember that, I hope.
All right, let's see here.
That's true, and as a listener I learned to treasure that.
My problem with you being annoyed at comments is that it feels repetitive.
I won't say there aren't different lessons to be learned from those conflicts, but those lessons are often similar enough to feel repetitive.
Now, I don't mean to be Mr. Annoying, but it seems to be my destiny.
There's no such feeling as repetitive, right?
Mad, sad, bad, and glad.
Right?
Mad, sad, bad, and glad.
That's what... Feelings are very base elemental things, right?
They can mix and all of that, but so there's no such thing as it feels repetitive.
There's got to be another feeling in there.
I don't know what that feeling is.
Probably something like annoyance and so on, or anger.
But there's no such thing as it feels repetitive.
But those lessons are often similar enough to feel repetitive.
But here's the interesting thing.
Here's the very interesting thing, and I'm happy to be corrected on this as always.
Like, since I got mad at people on the live stream, have we had a repetition of that?
Of that stuff?
Do I get mad every live stream?
Is it just happening over and over and over, right?
Does that make sense?
But hasn't it kind of worked?
And I've also done call-ins with the people who were really annoyed.
We've had call-ins and hasn't it been resolved?
I mean, am I wrong?
I'm happy to be corrected.
but I can't remember the last time where I've had a conflict on the live stream.
Yeah, where does it...
Well, the repetition is here.
The doctor says, where does it hurt?
But am I wrong?
I mean, when was the last... I mean, it's been weeks and weeks since I've had any conflict with... So, I think that the discussions and the conflict that we have... Like, do you want to know a really pretty dark secret about life?
I talked about this with someone on a live stream recently.
Sorry, on a call-in show, but it hasn't gone out yet.
Do you want to know something pretty dark about life that will be enormously helpful to you?
Oh, look at the teasing that is going on.
Thank you so much, Shank.
I really, really appreciate that.
He says, keep being annoyed.
It's great to see how you respond and deal with things that may be annoying, right?
It did go through.
Thank you.
Okay, so this is what I said, so I had a call and show with a guy who was just being relentlessly provocative, like really, really, really provocative, right?
So I'd say, why does this happen?
And he'd say, I have no idea.
I'd go through an explanation, he'd say, well I already knew that, right?
So just really, really being provocative, right?
So I got angry at him.
And eventually I told him that the reason he provoked me was that his father was abusively angry and he needed the example of someone who was angry in a healthy way.
So he wanted to provoke my anger so that he could see anger being expressed in a way that's healthy.
Right.
It's a very powerful thing.
A lot of times people provoke you because they need you to get angry but not be abusive.
so that they finally can see and be broken free of the equation in their head
that anger equals abuse.
So they need to provoke a good person's anger so they can break the cycle that anger equals abuse
so they can have permission to be angry themselves without feeling like they're abusive like their dad or mom
or whoever.
Thank you.
It's how you break the cycle.
You see an example of the diametric opposite and that liberates you from the absolutism of anger equals abuse.
Tell me if this makes sense.
I'm begging you.
Hit me with a why if this makes sense.
Because people who are provocative I
are putting you in a bind.
And the bind they're putting you in is either you ignore that they're provocative and annoying, quote annoying, either you ignore that they're provocative and annoying, in which case they've pushed you out of your own brain and they have dominated you, or if they provoke you to the point where you're raging and chaotic and aggressive and abusive, then they've also taken you over, right?
Provocation is a form of attempted possession.
People are trying to get you either to abandon yourself by pretending you're not annoyed or rising above it or whatever nonsense that is, or you just blow up and they get the satisfaction, right?
Because what's happened in this conversation?
I've been annoyed with people off and on over the past couple of months and some of the people who I got annoyed at are actually here tonight.
Was it helpful?
I got annoyed, I had a pretty frank discussion, pretty frank example, pretty frank criticism.
Welcomed you back, we're friends again, it's not a problem.
Right?
Some of the people, I can see emphasis here, some of the people I got annoyed at, either had great call-in shows, or they're back here!
We're not enemies, right?
It's like the, well, you may not have a problem with it, but I do, right?
It's emphasis.
Jeez, I never considered that.
I've usually thought that they want to get a response so they could feel in control.
Mike says, you were annoyed at my annoying comments once.
I've tried being less annoying since then.
Helpful.
I like it when you're at level 10 truth.
That's what we're all here for.
Here's the thing, it's a battle, and I'm the battleground in this particular conversation, and you're watching the battle.
You can see the comments come in, you can see that they're annoying, you can see that I'm annoyed, and what do I do?
You are the audience from which I can hide nothing.
Just so you know.
That's the high wire act of doing what I'm doing.
You are the audience from which I can hide nothing.
Why can I hide nothing?
Well, most people can read me like a book.
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
And also, I've made a commitment from the very beginning of this show to be maximum honest without self-destruction.
Maximum honesty.
Just shy of self-destruction, right?
You know, there's this famous meme, and I'm getting the numbers wrong, but it's something like, man dies after eating 380 chicken nuggets, and somebody wrote underneath, so 379 is the maximum.
Smug voice, well, I've never made an annoying comment before.
Yes.
Or there was an old joke from Jerry Seinfeld that I remember listening to like 25 years ago in the gym.
And he was saying, you know, like, maximum strength Tylenol.
Maximum strength.
What is that?
Maximum strength Tylenol.
So whatever will kill me, bring it back just a tiny bit from there.
Right?
So that's my commitment to honesty is I'll be honest as long as it's not going to get me killed.
Right?
And I'm not kidding about that, by the way.
Because that's maximum honesty.
Because I can't be honest if I'm dead.
So, you see everything, and I have a commitment to maximum honesty.
So if somebody's annoying me, either I abandon my commitment to honesty, Or, I'm honest.
And that's the equation that this guy who wrote me the email doesn't seem to sort of get, because he's asking me to lie.
Or he's saying, you shouldn't be annoyed.
You shouldn't be annoyed.
Being annoyed is immature, it's bickering, it's petty, it's blah blah blah blah blah, right?
How do you know?
Okay, let me ask you guys this.
Hit me with a why, If you have ever found value in being annoyed, has it ever been helpful for you to be annoyed or angry or whatever?
Has that been something that's been of value to you?
Is that someone that has been positive for you?
Yeah.
So to me it's kind of sad that somebody's been listening for sixteen
years he's never done a call-in show, although he enjoys them,
and he knows my commitment to honesty and he's saying
well when you're honest you're just pointlessly bickering with people
and it's costing you money.
you That's highly manipulative.
That's highly manipulative.
And listen, if you sent this email in, hit me with a call-in show, because I'd love to find out all of that, right?
Now, let me ask you this.
My time is limited so I don't stay annoyed for long.
How do you know?
How do you know?
Being annoyed is part of the hypothalamus.
It's part of the base of the brain or autonomic nervous system.
It's like real deep down in the brain.
Right?
Could you just switch off your annoyance?
I'm just curious.
Can you just say, I'm not going to be annoyed and it just completely vanishes with no harm to yourself?
I wouldn't will away annoyance even if I had a magic button to push it and I'd feel serenity now.
So how do you know you're done being annoyed?
Well, I know I'm done being annoyed when I've expressed myself
and hopefully have come to some kind of resolution, but at least I've expressed myself honestly
and I haven't let people's provocation drive me out of myself
by pretending I don't feel what I feel!
I'm annoyed by you being annoyed.
I don't know if that's trying to be funny or whatever but that's not particularly helpful.
So, and it's funny too because I've said of course that the big three words about caring are not I love you but tell me
more, right?
So this guy who wrote me the email doesn't say, can you tell me a little bit about your experience when you see something annoying on the chat?
Like, I'd like to know what you go through, what you think.
He's just like, no, it's just bickering.
No curiosity, straight up manipulation.
And it's interesting.
To me, that somebody can be listening to philosophy for 16 years and not have any idea how manipulative he's being.
Now, I didn't find this annoying at all, just so you know.
I found it very interesting, very instructive.
I didn't find it annoying, because it's so blatantly obvious, right?
That he's uncomfortable with my anger and he wants me to stop doing it, right?
Yeah, no one's going to listen to you if you bicker with your audience.
Really?
Yeah, because Lord knows the Internet's not about conflict or anything.
Porn and Conflict.
Welcome to Digital Age.
Thanks for being you.
Thank you.
Yes, I appreciate that.
All right.
Let's see here.
Vince says, I've recently noticed a few instances in recent popular podcasts where people are just flirting on the edge of the concept, the importance of childhood, and it's so annoying to hear them and the host saying things like, wow, nobody's gone there before, including people who have talked to you over the last decade.
And they act like they've never been exposed to these ideas.
And they completely fogged out with you whenever you went there.
Crazy.
Yeah, well, so this is one of the problems with being too innovative.
It's all you end up with.
Arrows in the back.
People step over your bodies and then claim the victory that is yours as if you've never existed and it just gets kind of boring.
You know, like, I like Dave Smith, the comedian.
We did some shows way back.
in the day, and I know he's really into peaceful parenting and he's a good dad, I'm sure, but he's just gone straight on to politics and, you know, talking about Ukraine and Joe Rogan and he doesn't bring up the childhood stuff on a regular basis.
That's how tempting all of this stuff is, right?
Even a guy who knows really well.
And I like him.
He's a great guy.
But, you know, he just won't... I understand that.
So people saw what happened to me with peaceful parenting and they're like, maybe not.
All right.
My first exposure to you was Alex Jones in late 2012-2013.
My first impression was, wow, this guy is something else entirely.
I was hooked for the next five to six years.
Well, nice to have you back.
And thank you for the tip.
All right.
And Dave Smith is a weed addict who hands out with degenerate comedians.
He's not a weed addict, is he?
No.
Can't be a dad and a weed addict.
No, I don't believe that.
I don't believe that.
Please don't be true!
But, you know, if it's true, it's true, right?
Steph, when your kid was really young, have you experienced annoyance with her?
How did you react to that?
I hope I'm not straying too far from the subject, just trying to understand the principle.
Have you experienced annoyance with her?
I don't.
I mean, look, can I say that over the past fifteen and a half years I've never once felt annoyance with my child?
I can't say that, but I can't think of any particularly specific example.
But, I mean, she was so much fun and always has been.
She is just a blast.
I mean, you hear it in the shows.
She is very funny and she is so smart and so intuitive and so on and thinks in a way that's different from me.
And which is really complimentary to me.
Or I'm complimentary to her, however you want to put it.
But, you know, we, in the same way my wife and I's thoughts kind of fit together, you know, the you-complete-me cliché.
It's really true.
It's really true.
So I was so happy to be a father, we tried for a while to put it mildly, so I was so happy to be a father that having a healthy, happy, smart, fun child around was so much fun for me that I don't recall, and again I'm not saying I've never felt annoyed, but I can't really think of any particular circumstances and it certainly wasn't repetitive or anything like that.
No, I don't.
And, you know, people say, oh, the kids keep asking questions.
It's like, great.
Great, good.
You're supposed to transfer knowledge to your children.
It's like a doctor getting mad.
You know, all these sick people coming in.
They want advice.
They want healing.
It's like, that's the job, man.
It's so annoying when these people come in and they're unwell and they want to get better.
It's like, I'm surrounded by criminals.
It's like, you're a defense lawyer.
That's the deal.
Or I've surrounded by people in trouble with the law.
That's the job.
I don't understand.
So when parents say, it's so annoying when my kid keeps asking questions, it's like, that's your job is to transfer knowledge to children.
Oh my.
Oh my.
I don't know.
Thank you.
Steph sent you an email from Tutanota, which is often filtered as spam.
All right.
I am not sure.
Yeah.
Can you send the email to support at free domain dot com?
And Jared will make sure it gets through.
To me.
Are you with a messy of online ethics and politics until almost everyone was taken down?
Yeah.
Steph, I can't stand my current job.
Any tips for finding side hustles?
side hustles.
Mmm, any tips for finding side hustles?
I mean this whole thing started as a side hustle and my writing novel started as a side hustle and my software
career, my career as a software programmer and executive started as
a side hustle because I was going in on Saturdays from the age of 11 to learn how to program PET and Atari
and TRS-80, trash 80 computers, so just about everything I've done has started off as a
side hustle. BFG is my big tip for success in life.
BFG.
I'm gonna swear, in case you were wondering.
BFG.
BFG.
Any guesses?
What is BFG?
I know it's in doom, but what is your BFG?
Is it really peaceful parenting stuff that people freak out over the most?
Oh, it's a big part of it, yeah.
It's a big part of it.
The voluntary family, I mean, that's why I was attacked starting, I don't know, 2007, 2008 as a cult leader or whatever, right?
So yeah, that's been some of the biggest attacks, and of course IQ stuff and all of that.
But yeah, there's been a lot.
The world is allergic to truth and doesn't understand the dangers of lying.
Zim says, I just want to thank you for getting annoyed with me.
It's helped me go about things more seriously.
Well, I'm glad for that.
And listen, you're welcome back.
I'm glad you're here.
So, you know, we don't have to be enemies because I'm annoyed.
I'm sure people get annoyed with me.
I hope that doesn't mean that I'm an enemy now or whatever, right?
All right.
I'm going to get to the question about Christianity and spanking.
All right.
I didn't know it took a while to have Izzy.
Not sure if you talked about that before.
I'll talk about it one day.
But yes, it was a brutal process.
All right.
I once felt the annoyance of my parents towards me and it was one of the worst feelings of my childhood.
If annoyance can be a choice, good.
I'll choose to not be annoyed at my kids.
But now you're making a case for it not being a choice, just like hunger.
Any tips on how to deal with this?
You once felt the annoyance of my parents towards me.
It was one of the worst feelings of my childhood.
What the hell does that mean that I don't believe you for a split second?
Doesn't mean you're lying.
Doesn't mean you're wrong.
I could be totally wrong, but I don't believe you for a second.
Because if you have a strong bond, With your parents, the fact that they were annoyed towards you at one point, in no way would ever be the worst feeling in the world.
That's not even remotely possible.
I mean, look, my daughter has been annoyed with me, my wife has been annoyed with me, and the idea that that's the worst feeling in the known universe is incomprehensible.
And I don't think just for me.
I mean, is your standard that nobody can ever be annoyed with you in life?
Are you kidding me?
Okay, hit me with a why if I've been annoying to you.
Hit me with a why.
Okay, I know I've been annoying to myself, so hit me with a why if I've ever annoyed you, made you upset, made you angry, made you frustrated, you've had a negative emotional experience of watching or listening to me.
Of course you have.
Of course you have.
And sometimes you're entirely right to be annoyed.
Sometimes.
Sometimes.
I know it's a big shock to everyone.
Yes, Michael has got a lot of yeses there.
Right.
No, these are all just whys.
Because it's philosophy.
The fundamental question is why.
No, you're always more helpful or entertaining.
Okay, I agree with that.
Hopefully, over the long run.
But, I still am annoying.
I'm just more helpful and entertaining than annoying.
Hopefully, right?
So, of course, right now.
Now, I have annoyed you.
Does that mean That is the worst feeling in the world.
And again, I'm not comparing myself to your parents, but do you think that it's not possible to have any kind of relationship if annoyance is at all ever part of the relationship in any way, shape, or form?
I shall type Y a second time!
You are human.
Yes.
All too human, as Nietzsche would say.
So, what do you mean?
Like, your parents were annoyed with you once?
Again, right?
Be fucking great.
Yes!
Sapente, you got it.
We'll get to that.
We'll get to that.
Yeah, just be fucking great.
I once felt the annoyance of my parents towards me.
It was one of the worst feelings of my childhood.
Nope!
No, there had to be no bond if the annoyance was one of the worst feelings.
Because if you have a strong bond, if you have a strong bond, You accept that people are going to be annoyed with you, that you're going to be annoyed with yourself, that you're going to be annoyed with them.
Bam, it doesn't kill the bond.
It doesn't kill the bond.
Thank you.
So there has to be something else going on.
Ah, that's when I realized your work was awesome!
Thank you man, I appreciate that.
All right.
Let me look up this Proverbs.
I know you're right.
I just want to make sure I can see the context.
What does this mean?
All right.
What is this?
I just want to make sure I understand what this means.
All right.
So, somebody says, I remember you saying in the past, spare the rod, spoil the child, it's misinterpreted.
I was just reading NKJ, New King James, Proverbs 23, 13.
Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell.
Is that a bad translation?
So, what does he say here?
Do not withhold discipline from a youth.
If you punish him with a rod, he will not die.
Beat him with a rod.
Now, I don't know So here's an answer from BibleRef.com.
This verse and its counterpart, Proverbs 23, 14, followed the biblical teaching of proper child discipline.
Other Proverbs noted the same general idea, that appropriate loving discipline trains a child to avoid evil, sparing them from greater suffering later in life.
As with all Proverbs, This is a statement of general truth, of common sense, not an absolute guarantee.
Even diligent parents can experience the heartache of wayward children.
Yet in general, parents who raise sons and daughters with loving correction set those children up for success.
Unruly children tend to become unruly adults who face adult consequences such as prison violence, disease or addiction.
Although Solomon mentions the use of a rod or stick, the literal object is not the point, nor is the meaning of this verse that physical discipline, known as corporal punishment, is required.
Whatever form of discipline suits the individual child and the individual situation is what's best.
A disciplinary measure that works well for one child may not work well for another.
A spanking, for example, may deter one child from repeating an immoral behavior.
Another child may become enraged and not learn from corporal punishment or responding quickly to loss of privilege.
Loving, sincere parents may protest that they, quote, love their children too much to discipline them.
Yet, this only trains the child to expect a world without consequences, a world which does not exist.
A parent who genuinely loves the child should recognize the need for a reasonable discipline and apply it accordingly.
Right.
I got the question about screen time.
I'll get to that.
Right.
So, is it a bad translation?
I don't know.
I don't know.
All right, I need to look something up which I should know.
I'm not even going to tell you what it is because apparently I've just completely given up on honesty.
All right.
Because I have a suspicion.
But...
I want to...
I want to know.
I'm just gonna check something.
Uh-oh.
These are, yeah, the Proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel.
Israel.
That's what's going on with Candace Owens, man.
Wisdom or not, we shall see.
The Book of Proverbs.
Okay, so...
I'm going to assume, and I certainly know...
Yeah, Hebrew Bible.
So this is Old Testament, right?
I'm like 99% sure this is Old Testament.
Third section of the Hebrew Bible, traditionally ascribed to King Solomon and his students later appearing in the Christian... Old Testament, yes!
Got it, okay.
So, What do I care what the Old Testament says?
I was raised a Christian.
What do I care what King Solomon in the Old Testament says?
Is he Jesus?
Is he the Son of God?
Is he infallible?
He is not!
I'm no biblical expert, but why on earth would I care what King Solomon says in the Old Testament
if I'm raised a Christian?
Which means, good old buddy JC has the cornerstone of truth.
He's got the gravity well of facts and a direct pipeline to the New Testament.
The New Testament, the New Covenant, the New Deal is, you don't beat your kids.
So yes, it's true that an ancient king said, If you beat your kid with a rod, he will not die.
Also, he's a politician, he's a king, he's a ruler, he's a brutal dictator, right?
So, brutal dictator says, beat your kids.
Okay.
So, what am I supposed to make of that?
Am I supposed to get child-raising advice from Adolf Hitler here?
Ah, but King Solomon was wise.
Yes, maybe.
Still a king, still an unjust corporal ruler.
who did not earn his power and privilege, but rather imposes it through force.
So I'm not sure exactly why we would care what a brutal dictator king in the Old Testament would have to say about child raising.
Do you know what I mean?
I don't understand what that would have to... Oh, but everything in the Bible... No, no, no!
There's a New Testament!
That's the whole point.
You know, there was a tweak.
There was a little bit of a change in direction, right?
I mean, that was the whole point of Jesus, is there's a new covenant.
And the new covenant is, don't beat your kids.
Now, ooh, are you ready for a rant?
Ooh, it's gonna be a big one.
This might even be a half-standing one, but I'm pretty sure I can keep my shirt on.
Unless I simply Hulk flex too much and it tears off and atomizes into dusts of pectoral outrage.
Are you ready?
For a rant?
Ahhhhhhhhh.
Okay, how do I teach my daughter?
Bye for now.
Thank you.
How do I teach my daughter discipline?
You know, there's a pretty good way to teach people discipline.
Have some self-fucking discipline!
God!
Ugh!
You know, beating a child while being out of control of your temper does not teach your child discipline, because you're out of control!
You see?
Oh!
It's like screaming at your child that you should never raise your voice.
It's like hitting your child saying you should never lose control of your emotions.
It's like beating your kid saying you should always think about the consequences of your actions.
Are you shitting me?
The way that I teach my daughter discipline is have some self-discipline.
Go to the gym.
Eat relatively well.
Don't get fat.
Don't be out of control of your emotions.
Show some self-discipline and then it shall follow.
As night follows day, your child will have discipline.
Being out of control and beating up your kid is not teaching them discipline.
It's teaching them that you're an undisciplined maniac who indulges in violence for the sake of feeling better in the moment and then pats himself on the back saying, you're such a good little boy!
It would be like trying to teach my daughter English while screaming at her in Klingon and not knowing any English at all.
She'd be like, okay, well if English is such a great language, why don't you speak it, baldy?
Why don't you speak it?
If discipline is so important, Why don't you have any self-discipline?
To the point where you can reason with me rather than hauling off and beating me like some coke-duck pirate on a slave booty.
It's so embarrassing.
Kid, I'm gonna beat you up to show you how you gotta have self-discipline.
How about you don't beat the kid up?
Manage your own damn temper.
Manage your own temper and don't be some maniacal, stubble-cheeked toddler with a fucking belt.
Oh my god.
Don't you have this as a kid?
That you...
If you had abusive parents who were out of control, you get that they have no discipline at all, no self-discipline, they don't care about discipline, and therefore, they're teaching you that discipline is inflicted as a virtue by the wildly undisciplined.
Do you see what I mean?
Do you see what I mean?
You can't be an effective personal trainer if you're fat.
You can't say to people you need to be disciplined about diet and exercise if you're fat and soft.
Jesus said someone greater than Solomon is here.
Amen to that.
Oh, Tim says, Tim is down with the Bible, man.
Tim says, Solomon's son broke the country apart because he was too threatening.
I bet he acted the way his dad acted towards him.
Right.
Somebody says, both parents did a lot of that.
I was told to count to ten before reacting, but if I ever said that to my mom, she'd be beating me before two.
Right.
You model self-discipline.
Model self-discipline.
My daughter is great with exercise.
She's great with eating.
She's, you know, very disciplined.
Why?
I mean, I think I'm pretty disciplined because I'm honest about it.
Like, there's times where I've got a bit of a headache or I'm kind of tired or whatever and I'm like, I don't really want to go and do a show.
I go and do a show and it's fine.
It's fine.
It's fine.
You know, there's been times where I'm like, Yeah, I'm a tad nervous giving this speech because, you know, X number of people have threatened to stab me.
So I've got to go to the bathroom and I'm hoping that I don't get stabbed while at the urinal.
But I go and give the speech.
Because, you know, philosophers have had it a lot tougher than me throughout history.
So I'm not going to whine too much.
A little bit, little bit, little bit.
But not too much.
Right, she sees me Exercising.
You know, we're watching a show.
I'm doing leg lifts and sit-ups and all.
She sees me doing these things, right?
She's now seen me.
I've been like two and a half months virtually no sugar.
So, you know, she sees me.
I've lost weight.
I'm in pretty good shape.
457, whatever, right?
So, just have self-discipline.
And your kids will respect that and internalize it.
Beat your kids.
I'm out of control!
I'm going to teach you discipline by being completely out of control.
What does that mean?
It's insane!
Nobody cares about discipline.
It's emotional fucking self-indulgence of the worst and most hedonistic kind.
Beating children is worse than stuffing your fat fucking face with pizza and cinna-buns.
Beating children is hitting children, screaming at children, is the most self-indulgent, hedonistic bullshit that can be
conceived of by man, God, Satan, or the universe as a whole.
They are the laziest fucking people in the world.
Well, I could reason with my kid.
Or just...
Punch him.
Or hit him.
Scream at him.
Ooh, look at that, I'm so brave I can scream at children that I am a bear.
I'm gonna call it discipline.
Okay, if you're so into fucking discipline, discipline yourself.
DISCIPLINE YOURSELF!
You're complaining that your kid doesn't have control over their own emotions or body?
How about you have control over your own emotions and body and don't hit little children?
You know, the fact that after 5,000 fucking years of philosophy, somebody is still going to say, I don't know, if you're 10 times their size, maybe don't hit little kids.
You know, maybe we can do that at least.
You know, maybe instead of all of these endless fucking trolley problems and how many people do we eat if we're stuck on a boat in the middle of nowhere, how about, I don't know, stop hitting children!
Why did it have to wait for me?
Why did it have to wait for me?
What the hell were all these philosophers doing all throughout history?
Why did it have to wait for us?
How pathetic is that?
How pathetic is that?
When I see parents aggressing against their children, I see Toddlers in human adult form out of control and panicking.
Hitting children is a form of pathetic panic.
They've got to do what I want them to do!
They have to do what I want them to do!
They have to do what I want them to do and I'm gonna make them do it!
It's like, calm the fuck down.
Deep breath.
Wim Hof, whatever you need to do.
Out vile demons.
Calm the fuck down.
They don't have to do what you want them to do.
They don't have to obey you.
They're not your slaves.
They're not your egos.
They're not your shadows.
They're not going to make everyone think you're a great person.
They're human beings with their own thoughts and minds and impulses.
If you want to influence them, great, I think you should.
I think you should influence them for the better.
And how do you influence people for the better?
You model the behavior you wish to inspire.
Of course you do.
You model the behavior you wish to inspire.
If you want your children to be good, be good.
If you want your children to have integrity, have integrity.
If you want your children to speak English, speak the English.
And if you want your children to have discipline, model self-discipline.
Why does this need to be said?
I live on this entire planet, my entire day is like, why does this need to be said?
Why?
Because everybody believes all this anyway.
Why does this need to be said?
Incomprehensible to me.
How is it possible that people need to be told that if you want your children to be disciplined,
you need to model self-discipline, which means don't lose your temper and fly off your handle
at the inconsequential shit?
Hedonists hit.
Violence is a form of hedonism because it's a desire for an effect without a moral cause.
Right?
Evil is the desire for an effect without a moral cause.
You want property?
You don't want to earn it.
You want sex?
You don't want to seduce.
You just rape.
Right?
You want an effect without a moral cause.
And the fundamental fucking evil of hitting children is you want the effect of obedience without the moral cause of inspiration.
I don't want my daughter to obey me.
I want her to obey virtue and her conscience.
Which means I have to model obeying virtue and my conscience.
You want the effect without the moral cause.
You're a thief.
You're a thief.
So yeah, no, I get it.
I get it.
There's a lot of brutality in the world, and if you want your children to conform to brutality, be brutal with them.
And then you're just part of this whole endless cycle of history that literally gets billions of people killed.
or will.
Guardian Angel says, my parents would often remind me of how much of a
financial or time-consuming burden I was while they beat me in order
to justify it.
I was always aware that it wasn't my fault.
Because I wasn't free to fix their problems, I was a child.
I'm sorry about that, man.
I really am.
It is a fundamental human corruption to forever and ever, amen,
pretend to be victimized by your own choices.
People make their choices and then pretend that their life is imposed upon them.
you You choose to get married.
You choose to have unprotected sex.
You choose to have children.
You choose to keep those children.
You give them up at any time.
Somehow You're the victim of your own free will.
Well, fuck you.
It's never true.
It's not true.
And how dare you blame other people, and in particular children, for the results of your own fucking free will?
How dare you?
How pathetic is that?
You kids are to blame for my choices!
Now you gotta be responsible for yourselves, kid.
And for me too.
You're responsible for you at the age of five, you're also responsible for me, interestingly enough.
Because the tail whacks the dog and the child is the father of the immature parent when he's five.
Speaking of modeling negative traits, I was an internet repair tech.
I remember getting incredibly angry at a mom whose internet was out.
The mom was glued to her phone playing Candy Crush while her kids, clothes, trash, animals and animal excrement were scattered all over the house.
That's probably the second house, household I should have called child services on.
This rant is exactly what I need to hear right now.
.
Yeah.
I view drug addicts as infinitely less hedonistic than abusive parents.
I view people greasing themselves up with duck butter about to dive into a flesh bit of Hugh Hefner limbs and arm tangled orgy as infinitely less hedonistic and self-indulgent and fucking lazy than abusive parents.
Abusive parents are the laziest, most self-indulgent, undisciplined, hedonistic douchewads in the known universe.
Discipline?
You wouldn't know discipline if it came up and bit you in the ass with shark jaws.
They don't know discipline.
Discipline your children?
What are you talking about?
You can't even discipline yourself.
I was talking to this woman today whose father called her a bitch as a kid, was threatening her mother would hit her on the hand with a ruler, no, a wooden spoon, in the car.
It's the laziest thing in the world.
The laziest, most self-indulgent, hedonistic, animalistic... I mean, if you see somebody who's diabetic chewing their way through A fucking cheesecake.
You'd say, well, that's stupid and self-indulgent.
And it's like, yes, but still infinitely more self-disciplined than somebody who beats a little child, or hits a little child, or yells at a little child, screams and frightens a little child.
Ooh, you scared a kid.
You were just so heroic and self-disciplined.
No, I really, really, really, because there's this whole myth about discipline and other parents are just so much into discipline.
You've got to do the right thing.
You've got to do your chores.
You've got to do things you don't want to do.
It's like, you hit children.
Don't talk to me about discipline.
You hit children.
Do not talk to me about self-discipline at all, because if you had even one shred of self-discipline, you wouldn't hit your kids.
And if you modeled that self-discipline, you wouldn't need to hit your kids, because they'd respect you enough to emulate your behavior.
Bitches my dad's go to when women don't agree with him Right
At least you're in an orgy you're attempting to please others
Well maybe, but even if you're some selfish person in an orgy, at least everyone's there by choice.
Kids aren't there by choice.
And a drug addict is only harming himself and those who choose to be associated with him.
Right?
But abusive parents are harming children who are trapped, helpless, dependent, can't get away.
A guy killing himself with drugs is harming himself and those who choose to be associated with him.
I mean directly, right?
Yeah, I was reading Mike Cernovich.
I didn't know or don't remember that he had a drug addict brother.
No, abuse is such an act of laziness and it masquerades, right?
This is a reaction formation.
It masquerades Did you really?
Steph, you were a gift.
Did you really mean to send me a dollar?
Is that I'm a gift?
You meant to send me a dollar?
Just curious.
Just curious.
But I appreciate the thought.
So, yeah, I've really been hammering this point at the call-in shows lately, which is they're just lazy.
Just lazy.
They're about as lazy as somebody who wants a TV and just goes and steals it.
Well, you know, it's not easy to steal.
It takes a lot of discipline.
It's like, no, you steal because you're lazy.
You steal because you're lazy.
That's all.
You're just lazy.
And you hit because you're lazy.
It's no self-discipline.
You masquerade as self-discipline because you're lying to yourself.
And that makes you even more culpable because you're praising.
You're praising discipline while being the most lazy, abusive, hedonistic person on the planet.
That's why you're morally culpable.
Because you're praising discipline while acting in a hedonistically violent manner towards helpless and dependent children.
Still trying to figure out the tip thing.
New to the platform, sorry.
Listen, I appreciate that.
Don't try and figure it out.
Just go to freedomain.com slash donate.
I mean, the fees are better anyway.
Just freedomain.com slash donate and I appreciate your thought and I appreciate your kindness and if you're listening to this later, that's the place to go.
freedomain.com slash donate.
All right.
What do you think about limiting children's screen time by building a giant human-sized hamster wheel which they have to run on in order for the screens to function?
That way, if they choose to be couch potatoes, they will be the fittest couch potatoes you've ever seen.
I remember when I was a kid, I used to live, I lived at Don Mills and Lawrence, which is near Don Mills and Eglinton, which is where the Science Center is, and I took my daughter there a bunch of times as well.
And there was a bike that you pedaled.
I remember getting all freaked out by the zoom, zoom out to the edge of the universe, zoom into the inside of a cell in an atom.
That was like really freaky.
But there also was a bike that you pedaled to run a TV and I was really quite amazed at how hard you had to pedal just to get a TV to work.
Like, wild, right?
But I know you're joking, of course, but If you want your kids, like it's funny, somebody was asking me the other day what my favorite memories of my daughter was and I went through a whole bunch of them and my daughter was in the room and I said, you know what, they were all free.
It's like you can just go out and have fun in the world.
Like go out and have fun in the world.
Go climb trees, go build stuff in the woods, go hike up a river, go like anything.
Just go and have fun in nature in particular and it's fine.
All right.
Let's see here.
Somebody say, sorry this is going back a ways.
I had a dream a few months ago which is the most vivid I've ever had and it's stuck with me with the same level of vividness ever since.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.
In the first part I was in a very high up flat while the sun was beginning to set.
The sun was glaring through the window to the point it was slightly painful.
I was talking to Elon Musk explaining how having a lot of different sexual relationships can cause you pain and make it harder to paramount.
I would imagine that you have a material goal or a material ambition that is at odds with your bonding, because Elon Musk is obviously just about the most competent businessman that has ever been produced in humanity.
Thank you, Chris, I appreciate that.
And yet he's got, what, ten kids by a bunch of different moms?
I mean, he had a terrible childhood himself.
Elon Musk.
So I would imagine that material success is tugging you away from emotional connection in some relationship in your life.
What was it?
Don Lemon claimed he was talking to a mediocre white man?
This anti-white racism is just appalling.
I mean, it's all by design, but it's all going to end so badly, and it's, again, supposed to.
It's all terrible.
All right, so let me get here.
Yeah, yeah, just be fucking great.
Just be fucking great.
So if you've got a side hustle, I don't care what your side hustle is.
Just aim to be as great as humanly possible.
When I was a coder, I mean all I had to do was, you know, build databases and a bunch of environmental compliance stuff, but no!
I had to build databases that built databases.
I had to build databases that would automatically create web interfaces like 30 years ago, when it was really tough to do that, and automatically translate from English to Mandarin on the fly with the click of a button on the web and in The application, I had to have every number field you double-clicked and got a calculator.
Every date field you double-clicked and got a calendar, so it was easier to enter.
I had to build memory-dependent query by forms on the fly.
I just wanted to build everything and have the greatest software in the known universe.
But you couldn't add in a report or query builder, so I built my own.
It was glorious stuff.
It was a fantastic program.
Just be great.
Whatever it is that you're aiming at, be great.
Be great enough, the money usually follows.
So if you've got a side hustle, is there something that you really, really care about that you just want to be incredibly freaking amazing at?
If there is something that you... and you have to notice a lack of quality in the world, right?
I'm a philosopher because I hate philosophy.
I know that sounds like it was a haiku.
It's not a deepity.
That's a very serious statement.
I hate philosophy.
The way it's practiced.
The fact that it ignores children.
Voluntarism.
Virtue.
The fact that it never proved ethics.
All of this sort of stuff.
I really hate the way philosophy has been practiced throughout most of human history.
And I also hated the way the software worked.
I wanted software to be friendly and fun and engaging and easy.
So, just whatever you want to build in, build out of joy at what you can create, at rage at what's not there.
you Do you know how much easier my life would have been if I'd been around when I was a kid, like as an adult?
If the work that I'd done as an adult had been around when I was a kid, it would have saved me at least 15 years of my life.
Like I'm sending a love letter and a prison key baked into a tasty reasoned walnut cake back to everyone in prison saying, well, here's how I broke out of prison.
Here's how you can break out of prison.
It would have saved me 15 years of my life if I'd been available to me now when I was a kid.
Or a teenager.
Late teens, right?
An adult, but you know.
And the fact that no philosopher had ever thought to do that stuff really, really angered me.
It really, really angered me.
I hate philosophy as it's practiced.
I love the potential of philosophy.
I hate the way it's practiced.
I really do.
It's just appalling.
All right.
I'm not joking.
If I have kids, I really want to build the hamster wheel.
But the bike thing is a much easier solution in the meantime.
Modern LCDs are so much more power efficient, a lot easier to run off a bike.
What the hell are you talking about?
You're going to put your kids on a treadmill if they want screen time?
What are you talking about?
I don't even know where to start with this one.
I assume you're trolling.
You say you're not.
I assume you're trolling.
You can crawl screen time by being more fun than screens.
Thanks.
That's all.
You control screen time by being off on the screen.
So my daughter and I did a multi... we spent six years in an alternative universe called role-playing where she went through all these kinds of adventures and we talked about it.
We did it.
We played these games, role-playing games, when we were hiking.
We played them in the basement when I was working out.
We played them at lunch.
We played them all the time.
She didn't want... like I say, screens are role-playing.
Role-playing!
Just be more fun than a screen!
It's not that complicated.
Nobody's strapping them up to bikes and hamster wheels.
What are you, crazy?
I mean, that's the equivalent of, I'll put on a chastity belt with my wife.
It's like, no, just be good and fun in bed and romantic and, like, she won't want to sleep.
Oh, no, the answer is a chastity belt.
Like, no, it's not.
That's just a statement of insecurity.
Well, I'm not going to be able to drag my kids away from the screen because I'm boring as fuck.
But, but, if I build them a giant hamster wheel, that'll solve the problem.
How about instead of building a giant hamster wheel, you learn how to engage with your kids so they enjoy your company more than screens!
Anyway, I'm sure you're not serious.
But just in case you are, that's the answer.
I mean, people get mad at screens the way that the legacy media got mad at me, right?
We can't compete!
Be better!
Skill issue.
Thanks, Jimmy.
I appreciate that.
Oh my gosh.
A hard print run on your novels.
I'm thinking of getting some hard copies of your books and putting them into the free library boxes around town when I get some extra money, obviously.
I appreciate that.
I mean, I may at some point.
It's not a high priority for me right now.
I've gone down this road a bunch of times with listeners.
I'm not putting you in this category, but I have gone down this road a bunch of times with listeners.
Want hard copy?
Hard copy sales.
Low.
And the time, the cost-benefit ratio is not that high.
It's not worth it in general.
So it's not off the table, but it's not imminent.
I would not hold my breath.
All right.
Somebody says, I had an argument with mom.
She told me I threw a fit when I was little.
My grandpa picked me up and beat me and I never threw a fit again, apparently.
I asked her if I could beat my grandpa now since he's old, sick, weak and refuses to do what's good for his health.
She said, it wasn't the same.
No?
Is the power disparity similar?
She had no answer.
Yeah.
It's true.
You know, it's true.
You know, violence does work.
That's why we have it.
It works.
Right?
It works.
Yeah, violence is very effective.
Because we're programmed to survive, not martyr ourselves.
That's why martyrs tend to be quite rare.
So yeah, violence works.
I guess you could ask your mom that if a husband is married to a woman, Bob is married to Sally and Sally brings dinner to the table and it's cold and then Bob beats the hell out of Sally and then Sally never brings dinner to the table again when it's cold.
Is that a good thing?
Because, you know, that could work.
Violence works.
That's why people stay in prison.
Because they get shot for trying to leave.
So, yeah, I mean, the fact that people say violence works, it's like, yeah, I get it, it works.
Of course it works.
Yep.
Yep.
I mean, it's why free speech is so limited in so many places in the world, because getting thrown in jail for a meme or a sticker is... Violence works.
So what?
I mean, is that some big, massive insight?
Violence works.
That's why people pay their taxes.
Violence works, yeah.
So, what does that mean?
Some primitive tribe that beats women for disagreeing with men find themselves with a lot of, quote, agreeable women around.
So what?
Violence works.
It's evil, but it works.
I mean, there's a lot of practicality to violence.
So, yeah.
I threw a fit when I was little.
So, your grandfather picked you up and beat you, right?
And you never threw a fit again?
Yeah, because you gave up.
When my mother was beating my head against the metal door and I went limp, yeah, I gave up.
Because I didn't want to die.
Didn't want to get brain damage, didn't want to get a cracked skull, didn't want to get hydroencephalitis.
A lot of water on the brain, as Freddie Mercury would say, right?
So yeah, I get it.
overwhelming violence absolutely causes people to comply.
I have another question though.
So?
the world.
Why are you, maybe this is like long ago, but why would you be having an argument with someone who approves of violence against you?
Who praises violence against you as a child?
Why would you be engaging with someone who says, it was really great that you were beaten as a child?
Why would you want to have any particular interaction with someone who praises beating children?
Are you friends with any men who praise beating girlfriends?
I hope not.
Yeah, look, you stick a gun at someone's head, you can get them to do a whole bunch of crazy shit.
Like, how is that any kind of insight?
Well, you know, you got beaten as a kid when you were having a fit and you never had a fit again.
It's like, yeah, The violence works and it breeds compliance.
Right?
So?
I don't understand how that, like, does she have some sort of satisfaction at the genius knowledge that people would rather comply than die?
I mean, that's the entire foundation of a state of society is people would rather comply than die.
Ooh, wow, that's really amazing!
How did you do that?
Brilliant! Oh gosh. Oh.
Oh, ladies.
Oh ladies.
I have very limited interaction with her.
I'm sorry.
Well, that's your choice, of course, right?
Of course it's your choice.
I don't need to say that.
That's blindingly redemptive as well.
But why?
Why would you want to have interactions with people who don't only praise beating children in the abstract, but are thrilled and happy that you were beaten as a child?
I mean, where's your pride?
My God, somebody's praising you being beaten as a child, and you're like, well, I limit my contact.
Do you want a quality woman in your life?
If you're male, right?
Do you want a quality woman in your life?
Here's my mother.
I have limited contact with her.
She praises me being beaten as a child.
Let's do Brent.
Look at all the people who aren't in your life if violent people are in your life.
Zim says, my dad stopped beating me when I was on the ground and he was punching on me.
I was 14, I think, and grabbed his hand and pushed it back.
Yeah, it's, I think, I don't know, I think I was about that age when I pushed back on my mom.
She was just shocked. Shocked, I'm telling you.
Yeah, the defense of the mom is very common, and I understand it.
Like, I was talking to this woman today and I said, what was your relationship like with your mother when you were a child?
And she was like, well, my mother had a really tough childhood.
I'm like, why are you manipulating me?
It's not what I asked.
Like, you don't have to answer what I ask, but you have to acknowledge that I asked it.
That's reasonably polite.
You can say, hey, I hear your question, I'm just not going to answer it.
And I said, well, what did I ask?
She said, you asked me about my mother's childhood.
I said, no, I asked about your childhood.
And now you're handling me You're handing me your mother's childhood so that I have sympathy for her, which means your mother's running this part of the conversation.
I'd rather talk to you.
Anyway.
Oh, the guy with the hamster wheel says, the child hamster wheel, I was very isolated as
a child, my parents didn't interact with me much, so I had to entertain myself.
It's probably me looking at myself and trying to keep future offspring from getting addicted to the games like I was.
No, but if you have that insight, and I'm really sorry about the fact that you were neglected as a child, of course, right?
The way that you deal with that, in my humble opinion, is you recognize that your parents didn't interact with you and you promise to interact and engage with your kids as much as possible, right?
Right? Your parents didn't enjoy your company, so you learn from that and enjoy your kid's company.
I never hit my parents back.
I could just run away at 15 and didn't reconnect until I was 18.
Why did you reconnect?
I'm not saying whether you should or shouldn't.
I'm just curious if you ran away at 15, which is an incredible thing, right?
I'm really sorry about that.
I mean, I've been on my own since I was 15, but I didn't run away.
Not better or worse.
I think it's tougher to run away, but... I guess you needed a place eventually, right?
Some place to live.
Sorry, man.
All right, Bitcoin question!
I never heard you address this.
I've looked and maybe you have, but it's something I've been thinking about a lot.
Will Bitcoin ever not be considered an asset where trading of it does not become a taxable event?
I see that as a hurdle that has to be jumped.
If, for example, you want to pay for pizza with 0.001 Bitcoin or whatever the cost without putting on your tax return, is this not a major concern if not addressed eventually?
Does not become a taxable event.
Oh, like if you basically, if you are trading Bitcoin directly for an asset, well, it would just be taxed as a sales tax, right?
Or you're spending it as a capital thing, right?
Because you can't say, I want a pizza, here's one one hundredth of an apple share.
But you could do that, I suppose, with Bitcoin.
So, yeah, I mean, if you don't convert it to fiat ahead of time, When you convert it to fiat, I assume it's considered as a taxable asset that's been sold, and then you can buy the fiat.
If you do the purchase directly with Bitcoin, I assume it would be considered an asset that was sold, and then there'd be a sales tax.
But I don't know.
I mean, why on earth would I care what the governments are going to do with Bitcoin?
Would you consider demonstrating standing desks?
What?
Oh, so that's someone else.
All right.
I still didn't understand that they were evil.
It took until I was about 26 to see it for what it was.
Okay.
What about this?
Somebody says.
Last question of two.
Sorry we started a little late.
My mother spanked me when I broke something and lied about it.
She told me she spanked me because I lied about breaking the X and not because I broke X. Then the next time I broke something by accident and told her she didn't spank me and just helped me clean up a glass.
Her actions seemed consistent with what she said.
I can only remember getting spanked like five times as a kid by my mom.
What about, I don't know what you mean by what about this?
It used to be that you were taxed when you realized the profit.
Yeah, of course, if you sell at loss, it's a capital loss and it's, I think, deducted from your capital gains.
I'm no accountant, so, you know, don't take anything I'm saying as even remotely gospel, but...
She told me she spanked me because I lied about breaking the X and not because I broke X. Right.
So why did you lie?
You lied because all children lie because they're amoral actors seeking to maximize resources and minimize cost.
Children are not born moral any more than they're born knowing calculus.
So children lie as a potential strategy to get what they want.
Right?
So first of all, your mother would have to have not lied, right?
Because if you get to hit someone who lies, then you get to hit your mother if you catch her in a lie.
She'd say, no, that's appalling!
It's like, well, why?
You get to hit someone who lies, then you get to hit someone who lies.
And you would hit someone who's an adult who lies much more than a kid, because an adult has much more choice, right?
So, she would have to have never lied.
And secondly, you just ask, oh, why did you lie?
Well, I figured I wouldn't get in trouble, right?
Okay, well, is your primary concern getting in trouble?
Because it's a big problem, right?
If your primary concern as a kid is to not get in trouble, it means you can't be honest, you can't be authentic, you can't be real, and you don't feel loved.
Right?
Oh no, I'm in trouble, it's like... I mean, that would be incomprehensible for my daughter.
Honestly, I'm in trouble.
I mean, yeah, okay, she does things I disagree with from time to time.
Same thing in reverse.
Just ask about it.
Try and figure out what's going on, right?
Doesn't the work of people like Alison Gopnik and Paul Bloom show that even infants are moral?
Well, by moral, I don't mean that they have instinctual reciprocity.
What I mean is they don't understand the abstractions of morality.
Not joking.
I can't remember her lying to me about anything.
Okay?
Then she's a non-human because all human beings lie.
When I was a child I saw my uncle beat his son unconscious.
Brutal stuff.
It scared me.
Can't imagine the effect it had on my cousin.
Well, it might be that there was brain damage in that.
hitting kids around the head in particular is very risky because
the brain is a very squishy thing.
Yeah, I mean, so my daughter fed me back and was quote kind in return.
That's reciprocal generosity and there's a certain moral element in it, but, you know, animals can exhibit that behavior, right?
Reciprocal genetic preferences, right?
So, but it's not an abstract moral sense, if that makes sense.
Yeah, the brain is sloshing around in there, man.
If you've ever seen an image of what happens to the brain when the head gets hit, it's brutal.
And so, yeah, hitting kids around the head is really tough for their brain.
I mean, that's why I had to go limp when my mother was beating me against the metal door, right?
I had to go limp because I had to protect my brain.
It was just a complete instinct to just, OK, OK, if you're going to kill me or give me brain damage, I'm three or four years old.
I'm going limp.
I can't fight you.
And I'm not going to risk brain damage.
And I ended up with a damaged ear many years later.
I mean, possibly as a result of that head beating or other head beatings.
So, yeah, it's... I mean, beating kids around the brain is... around the head is just...
Horrendous.
All right.
Any other last questions, comments?
I would not be averse to a tip or two, my friends.
It's great to be back.
And while I very much enjoyed and appreciated having the other hosts, it's great having the one-on-many.
Zim says, geez, man, my dad used to love punching me in the head.
I also used to bash my head into things to get the screaming to stop.
I hope I can overcome the damage.
Well, there may not be damage, right?
There may not be damage.
But that's why you don't hit kids around the head.
I mean, you don't hit kids at all, but in particular, you don't hit them around the head.
I guess she did lie to me about why I had spent three months at a friend's house.
They planted a fertilizer bomb in the driveway.
My father was a snowblower on the government at the time.
What the what?
I don't know what any of that means.
What?
Freedomain, yeah, running wild.
Thanks, Steph.
You're welcome.
Thank you so much for the tip.
I appreciate that, my friend.
Very kind.
Oh, he was a whistleblower?
Okay, so she lied to you about that, right?
And she put her kids at risk.
She's not wise, I think.
Thank you for the tip on the website freedomain.com slash donate.
I really, really do appreciate that.
Very kind.
Very kind?
Thank you, looking forward to more call-in shows.
Yes, they are coming.
And seriously, like especially because you guys are here.
You can go to freedomain.com slash call.
Freedomain.com slash call.
Send me a request, man.
You guys are the heroes.
You are the tippers.
I am beholden to you.
I thank you for your feedback.
I also thank the guy who sent me the email for that feedback.
And freedomain.com slash call.
Lines are open.
Operators are standing by.
And I've had a couple of cancellations.
Sometimes people are like, I want to.
Nope.
And it's like a game of chicken with their own inner alter egos.
But you can send me a request.
freedomain.com slash call.
I'll put it in here.
freedomain.com slash call.
There you go.
And you can send me a request.
And I'm, you know, looking forward to this weekend.
A bit scared?
Yes.
I went down a flight of wooden stairs at 18 months, had skull surgery.
I feel very fortunate to have made it through that and still be able to think.
I'm very glad for that.
Honestly, I don't want people to freak out just because I say hitting kids around the head can cause damage.
Don't automatically assume that you've got damage.
Obviously, I'm no doctor.
I can't diagnose anyone.
It's just my understanding that the brain is pretty sloshy and trauma can go pretty rough.
So yeah, don't jump to any conclusions.
And of course, if you have any concerns about If you have any medical concerns, the place to talk to is your friendly neighborhood family doctor.
And all of that.
Nothing wrong with getting scans, nothing wrong with getting my blood work done, and all of that.
So there's nothing wrong with this kind of stuff.
All right.
Well, thanks everyone so much for a wonderful, wonderful evening of philosophy and great questions and comments.
Love you guys to death.
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much.
And we will see you Sunday at 11 a.m.
for the Sunday morning show.
I'm not sure whether we'll be doing it.
It'll probably be Thursday tomorrow.
World War III this weekend?
Not this weekend.
But it ain't looking good, particularly in Europe.
But yeah, I'm on politics.
Thank you for the show.
Thank you for your very kind support.
I really, really appreciate it.
Have yourself a glorious evening, my friends.
freedomain.com slash donate to help out later.
And I'll talk to you on Sunday.
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