March 28, 2024 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
01:48:25
5451 THE HOLE IN THE HEART LEFT BY NEGLECT!
3 March 2024 Sunday Morning Live!"Hi, Stef. Hope you and your family are doing great. I have a question influenced from chapter 18 of Peaceful Parenting. When it comes to neglect, can I put my parents in that category? If they would leave for weeks at a time on regular work-related trips. I was very young, seven or eight, and left with a live-in babysitter during these times. Sometimes it would be three weeks, sometimes a few days. This feels like neglect, but I struggle to see it."Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!Get my new series on the Truth About the French Revolution, access to the audiobook for my new book 'Peaceful Parenting,' StefBOT-AI, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and more!See you soon!https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022
It's the mark of a true philosopher that it's hard to remember the day.
3rd of March.
3-3-2-0-2-4.
And ready to go.
Light up the afterburners.
That's right!
Have you ever tried Warhammer?
No, Jared suggested a Warhammer game, which I tried some a year or two ago, but I didn't really get it too much.
All right, so let's get into your question.
Steph, you say marriage should not be hard, and for you it hasn't been.
Has parenting been hard for you?
Uh, no.
No.
Uh, no.
Parenting has not been hard for me.
It's actually been a whole lot easier than I anticipated.
Parenting has been a lot easier than I anticipated, and
I guess that's, you know, if you're peaceful and you love your kids and you enjoy spending time with them and they know all of that.
I was just reading this study the other day that said that
Fathers and children, oxytocin, like a joy-joy hormone, oxytocin gets released when they play together, which isn't really the case with mothers.
It was basically a woman was saying, like, compared to my husband, I'm a relatively boring person for my children.
And there's a kind of a truth in that.
My daughter and I, of course, we have
We did Rough Housing.
We had this great game, because I read to her a pretty sanitized version of The Hobbit when she was little, which is a great children's book of course, but we had this game called
Uh, Smaug's Cave, or Stealing from Smaug.
So I would get a bunch of fake jewelry and lie slumbering on a bed, and she was supposed to come in and steal the jewelry from me without me waking up.
And we used to play that with her and sometimes her friends, and it was all quite hysterical and a huge amount of fun.
Yeah.
Arrgh!
I think the Morkans are wild.
And it's good training.
So, yeah, the play with the father, of course, mom can do it too, I'm just talking about the general biology of it.
That play from parents to children, fathers to children in particular, seems to be quite a powerful thing.
And of course, all of that is missing in the matriarchy.
Oh no, oh dear, I have somewhat cleaned my glasses and now they are doomed.
Good morning, Steph from Perth!
Yeah, those videos of toddlers giggling as daddy walks up the door are so good.
Yeah, I mean, that's why kids get so excited when dad comes home, because it's playtime, or there's this other great meme.
Which is a wife says to her husband, can you take out the garbage?
He's like, I'm too tired.
And then his kids all swarm him and say, dad, we want to wrestle with you on the ground, punch you in the belly and jump on your groin.
And he jumps up and he's like, get ready for the pain train kids.
And, um.
That's just it, right?
The world is very serious in the world of women, and that's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
But men tend to take childhood a lot less seriously, and as a result, they end up teaching their kids about the lighter side of life and enjoyment.
For women, of course, you know, life and death and all of that, it's very, very important.
But yeah, for
For men, it's not good.
That level of seriousness is not great.
So you kind of need to have men around to lighten things up.
And I think I'm doomed with my glasses, by the way.
I've basically turned them into an old fish tank, and I'm not even sure why.
Oh well, doesn't really matter.
Yeah, fathers are more laid back.
Fathers take things less seriously, and that's good, right?
And you can see there's this, you know, hyper-seriousness in modern civilization.
Dads are needed to toughen kids up.
Dads are needed to toughen kids up.
And when you don't have dads around, everybody's feelings become fascistic and claustrophobic.
Good morning, Steph.
Are you considering reviewing Dune 2?
I must tell ya, I really, really hate that book.
For reasons I can't possibly remember, because I went through a big fantasy science fiction phase in my early to mid teens and I gave it a try, I found it just weird.
It's just way too weird, because there's very little science, it's all, I don't know, ayahuasca mysticism, and none of it makes any sense, like what the hell do the...
The worms that are the size of the Empire State Building, what do they eat to maintain the size?
How do they swim?
Like, none of it makes any sense.
It's a drug dream.
And I remember going to see the movie with Kyle MacLachlan and
Oh gosh, Patrick Stewart and Sting was in it, shrieking away in his high falsetto.
And I was like, God, this is awful.
This is repulsive.
There's just something about that movie or that book that I just found appalling.
I found my entire soul rebelled against it.
I'm fully aware.
That's not an argument.
I'm just saying that that's what happened.
Just my whole soul rebelled against it.
I just found it appalling.
Just appalling.
It doesn't make sense that they don't use handheld shields.
Yeah.
And isn't it about drug addiction?
Like the spice must flow?
Isn't it just about?
And I think that the writer, Frank Herbert, wrote it on drugs.
And I just, I think if you're not, like, I have no drug experience.
I never say I've never taken marijuana or anything like that.
So I have no drug experience because why on earth would I want to mess with the machinery of my mind?
That just seems weird, right?
Evolution has primed me perfectly to work with reality.
Uh, Dune II has a lot of parallels to the Middle Eastern oil crisis, I thought.
Yeah, but he wrote the book in 1965, right?
I mean, you can find a bunch of parallels, but who cares?
I would much rather read, you know, someone like Murray Rothbard, who would have been 98 today had he lived, but yeah.
So no, I really loathe, I really loathe that book and that story.
I just, I find it gross.
Not quite as gross as Game of Thrones, but still fairly gross.
Uh, so, um, what is a reasonable time to get married after dating?
How do you know when you know enough about who you were dating to know what you, uh, when to know that you are ready?
Are you asking me when do you know that you're in love?
I don't know what that question means.
Sorry.
I'm a little.
You always thought Dune was a metaphor for Afghanistan, right?
Right.
35 years before the invasion.
He's that prescient.
So... Oh, I meant the movie.
I should have been more clear.
I haven't read the book.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know.
If you want to make a metaphor for Afghanistan, how about you just make a documentary on Afghanistan?
And every, I mean, this is again, it's not an argument.
I'm just telling you my evidence.
Everyone I knew who was into Dune was a drug addled loser.
Everyone like that.
I can't think of a single exception.
Everyone I knew who was into Dune was a drug addled loser going nowhere in life.
When do you know that you're in love then?
I don't know.
I mean, it's like someone asking me, well, how do you know when your band is your favorite band?
How do you, how do you know when you really like a song?
How do you, how do you know when you really like a book?
How do you, I don't understand the question.
I'm sorry.
I don't understand the question.
I don't understand.
UK, Russia all invaded Afghanistan for the opium and lost.
Nope.
They did not invade Afghanistan or the opium.
Yeah, what should you do when you're hungry?
How do you even know when you're hungry?
How do you know when you love someone?
And Afghanistan did not get invaded for the opium.
You could get a hold of the opium just by trading with them or bribing the warlords.
Invasions happen to kill off those who might resist the state, young men, and also to launder money, right?
How do you know when chocolate tastes good?
How do you know what your favorite food is?
How do you know when, like, I don't know what that means.
Ostensibly the book was inspired, yeah, Silovitan or something like that by A Magic Mushroom Trip, yeah.
Yeah, the book started because he was assigned by a newspaper to write a story on dunes in California, I think it was, and he took massive notes for the book.
Uh, for the article, sorry.
And then, uh, the article never ended up happening, getting it up, writing this, this story.
But, uh, no, it's, uh, it's, it's gross.
It's gross.
Fear is the mind killer.
Should be a giveaway that it's dangerous.
Fear is the mind killer.
Yeah, that's retarded.
Fear is the mind killer.
Give me a break.
And all of the quotes just are, I don't know, basement level trash planet fortune cookie.
Philosophy, man, it's so deep.
You know, violent people are attracted to violent power.
Oh, man, that's so deep.
Fear is the mind killer.
It's so deep.
Well, you should be afraid of drugs.
You should be afraid of drugs because they'll screw up your brain.
You should be afraid of marijuana these days in particular.
I mean, half-laced with fentanyl and, you know, dozens of times more potent than the drugs of the 60s.
The drugs of the 60s were largely a sign up, put upon the aggressive young to have them no longer question or oppose the expansion of socialism.
Yeah, fear is the mind killer.
What does that mean?
It doesn't mean anything.
Fear is somehow bad.
We evolved fear, which all animals have, for absolutely no reason.
All animals have fear.
Fear is good.
Try saying that to a zebra in the middle of the African bushveld, right?
Fear is the mind killer, man.
You should just make friends with the lions.
Like, don't be scared of them.
Fear is just cowardice.
Like, you just die.
I mean, the idea that, like, like the movie Twilight, right?
Which is basically just what happens to women who eternally friend zone guys.
But, um,
No, the movie Twilight, it's like, man, you shouldn't really be afraid of vampires.
They can totally be your friend.
Man, you really shouldn't be afraid of werewolves.
They should totally be your friend.
They can totally be your friend.
And it's like, so predators, you should love predators.
You should never be afraid of predators.
Predators are secretly your friend.
This has been the last half fucking century has just been like lulling people out of a state of natural fear so that they just get rolled over.
All fear is cowardice.
There's nothing to be scared of, man.
Vampires can be your friends.
They can love you.
They can marry you.
Vampires, werewolves can be your friends.
Fear is the mind killer.
Don't be afraid.
Well, you understand that when predators want to prey on you, they want their job to be easier, so they'll tell you not to be afraid.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, the vegan vampires in Twilight.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Life is like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
I mean, that's one of the most retarded things that's ever been put to film.
It is unbelievably... I mean, I'm better at art than artists are at philosophy.
I mean, it's just... Life is like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
Well, of course you know what you're gonna get.
You open up the fucking lid of the chocolates, there's a whole map of what the chocolates are!
Now, stupid people can't read maps, can't have anything, they just grab chocolate, I don't know what I'm gonna... Okay, so... Life for idiots is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.
But yeah, lulling you out of fear?
All fear is prejudice, all fear is bigotry, all f... like... Don't be afraid, you can't be afraid!
Can't be afraid.
Yeah, and it's all, every single thing is, the nasty person turns out to be nice.
Like the Boo Radjali in To Kill a Mockingbird, right?
He's like a weird, creepy loner who lives down at the end of the street and frightens the children, but he turns out to be a super great guy.
Isn't that wonderful?
Uh, say, I really watched Home, I recently watched Home Alone.
Same thing with the dodgy neighbor who turned out to be nice.
Yeah.
Everybody who's been programmed from birth onwards that
Don't judge a book by its cover.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
Publishing industries will literally spend $100,000 designing a book cover for a book that says, don't judge a book by its cover.
I mean, it's so hypocritical.
It's, I don't know, it's an asylum out there.
And while it's not really an asylum, an asylum is more chaotic, but it's just about, you know, people who want to prey on you will tell you that all fear is prejudice and so on.
And you should be afraid of the weather, not of obviously dangerous people.
Steph, was the propaganda this intense back in your day?
Yes, it was.
Yeah, it was.
It was.
Yeah, for sure.
Yes, it's always like the weird creepy loser turns out to be the nicest person.
The jocks and the good-looking kids always turn out to be the meanest.
It's all just Nietzschean resentment, right?
Not fair to asylums, at least there's someone in control.
Well, I mean, people are in control of the culture.
I mean, don't kid yourself, right?
People are in control of the culture.
And of course, one of the things that's happened, and we kind of know this, is that women on birth control have a lowered fear response.
And of course, people on the left have no particular fear response.
They don't recognize predators.
They just have no particular fear response.
They have a rage response against anyone who disagrees with them.
Then, of course, the reason that a lot of people on the left don't have a fear response is that they themselves are the predators.
Right?
I mean, the lion is not afraid of the zebra, really.
I mean, he's cautious about the zebra's hooves and all of that, but the lion doesn't have a fear response because he's in charge, right?
So, yeah, it's very sad.
And I mean, gosh, if you are, yeah, being fearful is offensive.
Like having a sense of your own priorities and having a sense of preserving your own values, that is a bigoted and hateful and so on, right?
Yeah, it's just appalling.
I mean, if you, if you doubt the potency of modern marijuana, just, you know, go talk to some doctor in an ER ward and see how many people are coming in half destroyed mentally through marijuana.
It's, uh, it's horribly dangerous stuff.
I mean, I've never been a fan of drugs, even at the best of times, but now it's just, I mean, you really are just completely playing Russian roulette.
Uh, if you get into drugs, uh, it's just terrible.
Somebody says, in my case, I'm not sure I would have taken the philosophical and political journey I have if it weren't for me smoking weed.
I understand it's far more potent these days, but learning about the propaganda behind making it illegal really was my start.
Right.
Right.
So, you're trying to find something good in your addiction, or your prior addiction, so that you don't have to figure out the source of your prior addiction.
And the source of addiction is child abuse.
Yeah, it's programming counter to your instincts.
It's always just programming counter to your instincts.
And that's all it is.
Whatever your instincts are, we're going to provide you endless counter examples so that you don't trust your instincts and you don't have any protection.
It's repulsive.
Yeah, people who look dangerous are probably dangerous.
People who look safe are probably safe.
It's all just counter-narrative, counter-examples.
I'm not justifying it.
I didn't say you were justifying it.
See, that's defensiveness, right?
Did I say you were justifying it?
I said you're trying to find something good in your prior addiction.
I didn't say you were justifying it.
So, here's conversation 101.
If you strawman me with the first thing you say, my interest in continuing the conversation drops to minus 666.
Just so you know.
Just so you know.
Yeah.
So if you strawman me like right away, then you're not having a conversation with me.
So I, uh, I don't, and this just in general, right?
Think, think before you respond.
Right.
And I mean this with love and affection and positivity.
Think before you respond.
Right?
I use precise words for a reason.
I said, you're trying to find something good.
I didn't say you were justifying this.
You're trying to find something good.
I use precise words for a reason.
I'm very careful about what I say.
And so if you strawman me right away and misrepresent what I've said, why on earth would I want to continue the conversation?
I say this because that's a defensive habit, right?
Right.
So, um, if I say, I don't know, if someone says crazy people should be institutionalized, you say, Oh, so everyone who disagrees with you should be institutionalized.
It's like, I'm done with the conversation because there's no conversation to be had.
Right.
So it's all just, it's just counter-programming and it is, it is the worst hunters who want to make the prey unafraid of being hunted.
Right.
Somebody says, marijuana is terrible, used it for two years.
It was like I was sleepwalking through life, so happy to have dropped it for three years already.
Well, good for you.
Good for you.
I had a good experience with lower dose of magic mushrooms, but all it really did was make me think introspectively about my inner insecurities and help me plan out my life.
I've seen people go hardcore into it and completely destroyed their mind, though.
Why do you need magic mushrooms for introspection?
Can't you have conversations?
Can't you do talk therapy?
Can't you do a journal?
Can't you analyze your dreams?
Can't you think about yourself without screwing with your brain?
And also, because one of the things that drugs do is they create a sense of euphoria and connection where there isn't any, how do you know if any of the insights were really valuable?
Right, because, I mean, everybody knows the story, and I've had this conversation a number of times in the show, though not in a while, where somebody says, oh yeah, I got all of these great insights through drugs, and I'd be like, okay, well, what's one of them?
And they can't tell me anything.
Because things just feel connected, like I feel at one with the universe, man, it's a great insight, we're all connected, it's like, none of that means anything.
Oh, the author I prefer to read over the writer of Dune, Murray Rothbard.
M-U-R-R-A-Y-R-O-T-H-B-A-R-D.
You can find all of his books, I think they're for free, at mises.org.
M-I-S-E-S dot org.
What do you feel the role of the artist is or should be in society?
What do you feel?
And it's like, it's interesting to me that you say feel, but that's fine.
I'm not gonna, I'm not going to
Uh, nag at that, but, I mean, thoughts probably, right?
So... Let's see here.
I had a family member really into weed and I asked him to recommend a strain I could try to help with OCD slash Tourette's symptoms and the stuff he gave me made me never want to try any sort of drug again.
Yeah.
So, let's see here.
Yeah, how do you, I mean...
I did 20 years of therapy in one evening with Ayahuasca.
Twitter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's all, all nonsense and lies.
They have a confusing high dopamine levels with insights.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't think anyone has taken drugs and come up with a valid scientific syllogistic or mathematical equation or argument.
So, so let me,
Oh, thank you for the tip.
I appreciate that.
Uh, let's see here.
Hey Steph, I know you went through some dark times in your life.
I wonder if you ever had to fight suicidal thoughts?
Uh, no, I wouldn't say that I had to fight suicidal thoughts, but certainly after, I don't know, 16 months of insomnia, I was like, well, this isn't really worth it.
So it wasn't like suicidal thoughts, but I was like, I literally have to, I have to do something to solve this.
Like I, cause you know, everyone has, I think, occasional bouts of sleeplessness, but yeah, after 16 months of not getting the sleep that I needed, um, it was tough.
So, but I was just like, okay, like, this is not worth it.
And so that's why I really started on the whole personal revolution.
Stuff.
I just, I don't care.
If the storm is bad enough, you'll throw everything overboard, right?
Except yourself.
I mean, and those you love, right?
So, you know, if you, for me, it's like if you're transporting some very important good, right?
And you're like, maybe you'll have to pay for the goods if you lose them.
But if the storm is bad enough, you'll throw everything over except yourself and those you love.
So when the storm got bad enough in my insomnia, I was like, okay, everything's on the table.
Everything's on the table to go away.
And so much of it did go away.
It was actually quite shocking.
It was actually quite shocking and appalling.
All right.
Let me get to your questions.
Good morning, Steph.
Philosophical question for you.
My brother-in-law asked us to babysit his daughter for a week.
He has been divorced a few years and is wanting to take his new Instagram whore girlfriend on a trip.
My husband and I don't approve and feel morally conflicted.
Uh, so it's your brother's husband.
Is that right?
Sorry, your brother's, your husband's brother.
I got that a little backwards.
Your, your husband's brother.
Is that right?
Is that the story?
Oh, sorry, Jared and James.
If we could not publish shows when I'm doing a live stream, that might be good.
But yeah, so if you have someone who has
He's been divorced and he's got, as you refer to at the Instagram for a girlfriend.
Um, why would you want someone like that in your life?
Oh, well it's kids and so on, but what you pour into his life, uh, what you pour into his life, you're taking away from your own kids, right?
Your own kids come first, your own kids come first, not other people's kids.
And you can't control other children's environment, right?
Cause you can't control how other parents deal with their children.
So.
If you, if you don't approve, like if your brother-in-law is a bad dude, then why would you want to have him in your life?
Now, again, I guess, you know, you got a relationship with his daughter and so on, but if, if you're trying to help a child in a situation you can't control, you are signaling to the child that virtue is helpless.
Right?
So whether it's better to bang your head against your brother-in-law's amorality or immorality, whether it's better to do that or to pour your resources into your own children and be strong and then you can explain to the kid when you get older or when the kid gets older, both of course, then that may be a better path.
But yeah, I don't know.
If the girlfriend is really bad, you should talk him out of dating the girl.
If he wants to date the girl, if he wants to date the, as you call her, Instagram whore girlfriend, then, um, go ahead.
But that's at the price of your relationship, right?
I mean, it's possible.
I'm not saying whether you should or shouldn't, but it should definitely be on the table.
I mean, it's a, it's a, it's a female perspective.
The support is agreement.
I need you to be supportive.
And that means to just agree with all the stupid stuff that people want to do.
No.
The male perspective is consequences, right?
Consequences.
Male perspective is don't do this stupid thing.
And if you do this stupid thing, I'm not going to be there for you.
Right?
The consequence of you not listening to my advice is I don't want to have a relationship with you.
I mean, this is back to that sort of, it's a, I guess, a fairly infamous post somewhere, maybe Reddit, where a guy said to his girlfriend, um, she, she wanted to go to a party in a really bad section of town.
And he said, don't go.
He said, if you go, I'm going to break up with you because that's just a bad idea and bad things are almost certain to happen.
So just don't go, don't go.
And I'm not going.
So why would you want to go to a party without your boyfriend?
I mean,
So she said, fine, I'm not going to go anyway.
So then she calls him at five in the morning.
So she went to the party at the bad, in the bad section of town and she got sexually assaulted.
And he's like, well, get to a hospital, go to the police, but we're over, we're done.
And everyone of course was screaming at him that how dare he be so unsupportive when his girlfriend needs him the most.
And she just got assaulted and how dare he dump her.
And he's like, I told her not to go.
If she's not, I mean, how can I protect her if she won't listen to my advice?
Right.
How can I protect her if she won't listen to my advice?
See, men, we kind of understand other men.
Like, we may not always be great with the ladies, but that's fine.
But we really do kind of understand other men.
And we understand that there are predators out there.
A couple of percentage points of men will refer you, will rape you, will sexually assault you.
A couple more percentage will become stalkers and weirdos and mess up your life.
So we understand that there are bad and dangerous men.
And we understand that a party, uh, particularly in a questionable neighborhood is probably a trap for women.
And so we say.
Don't.
Don't go.
Don't go.
Because we understand that there are dangerous men out there.
And so, obviously, we can't force a woman to go or not to go.
Lock her in the basement, right?
That's not right.
So, it's just, can you take advice?
And women, of course, get frustrated when men don't take their advice either, right?
If a man is like, oh, this woman at work is very nice, super friendly.
It's like, no, no, she's angling to date you.
She's this, she's that.
Women understand women.
And we have to cross-pollinate, right?
So we have to listen to women about women, and women have to listen to us about men.
I mean, we have to.
Otherwise, we have no protection.
Because what we've done is we've outsourced our protection to others, right?
I mentioned this the other day.
Like, we don't have eyes in the back of our head or the side of our heads because we focus straight ahead on the assumption that because we're a tribal species, someone's going to be watching our back, right?
So, men understand male evil, and women understand female evil, and women need to be the authorities on women, and men need to be the authorities on men.
So, yeah.
You know, don't go to this third world country for your
You know, eat, love, pray, laugh, or whatever nonsense is going on.
Eat, pray, love, dance.
Don't go!
Because there's really bad dudes.
Some of the dudes out there are really bad and things are gonna go badly for you, right?
Don't go off the resort.
And if you're in some really high-crime-ridden area of the world, like, just don't do it, right?
Don't go home with guys you don't know.
Like, just don't do the stuff.
Because men don't get dopamine from male attention, so we can judge things more objectively in the same way that women don't get dopamine from female attention, so men can judge these situations more accurately than women, and women can judge female evil situations more accurately than men.
So, I don't... I wouldn't have people in my life who don't take my advice.
Now, obviously that doesn't mean just do whatever I say, but you know, you don't take it very seriously.
In the same way, I wouldn't have someone in my life whose advice I didn't take very seriously, if that makes sense, right?
So, if you have people in your life who are doing dangerous things and won't listen to your advice on how to stay safe, they're just going to drag you down with them.
Like, you understand that, right?
If you let dangerous people into your life, in other words, people who pursue dangerous things.
So if he's going out with this very scary, crazy, as you said, Instagram whore girlfriend, he's going out with her.
Okay.
So things are going to go very badly.
And your life gets progressively worse the more dangerous people you allow into it.
And if people won't let you keep them, won't let you help them stay safe, then they're just, you understand, they're just bringing danger into your life.
Right?
They're just bringing danger into your life.
So, you know, maybe things are going to go really badly, right?
Maybe she's going to falsely accuse him of something.
Maybe she's going to get pregnant.
Maybe she's going to beat him up and then claim that he beat her up.
Like maybe, I don't know.
I don't know.
Or maybe, uh, he, she's just going to love bomb him and then sadistically withdraw to enjoy his agony.
Right?
So then you're picking up those pieces and it's just like, why do you want to spend your life stitching up people, slashing at themselves?
It comes at the cost of the good people.
You can spend your whole life trying to repair the wounds, the self-inflicted wounds from chaotic, dangerous people.
Or you can be around stable, healthy, normal people who add to your life and enhance your existence.
All right.
Thank you for the tip, by the way.
Dim sim, dim sung?
Ooh, now I don't want to eat food.
But I appreciate that.
And if there are any other tips for the wisdom that you find valuable or worthy, you can tip me, of course, here, or you can go to freedomain.com slash donate.
And I would very much appreciate it.
I would be very grateful for it.
All right, Michelle says,
Hi Steph, I'm currently dating a lovely woman who's been so kind and so good to me that it makes me wonder if she's real or not.
Probably of past abuse, but how can one tell if he's dating a narcissist or some sociopath how long can a predator wear his makeup on before getting exposed?
Thank you Steph, I appreciate your effort.
Alright, would you like to know, would it be of value to you to know how to tell dangerous people you might be dating?
To know that.
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
So, what you want to do to figure out if someone is for real or not, is you want to meet her family as soon as humanly possible.
Maybe her friends, maybe her siblings, but in particular her parents, right?
So you want to meet her parents as soon as humanly possible.
Yeah, it's not just the Hot Crazy Matrix.
My wife is hot and sane, so...
You want to meet her family, so you ask her about her family life, you ask her about her history, and then you meet her parents as soon as possible.
And you compare what she said to what is.
Right?
So if she says, Oh, I have a great relationship with my family, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And you go and meet her family and there's tension or weirdness or something.
Well, then you have somebody who's not processed her history.
You know, if, if she says, Oh, my parents are super mean and, you know, they're always putting me down and you go meet her parents and they're relatively nice or whatever.
Again, there is a disconnect.
Right.
So, and it doesn't have to necessarily just be her parents.
Maybe they're in another country or so, but you can get on a call with them, right?
You can talk to them, but what you want to do is get information from her.
And then what you want to do is compare her processing of reality to reality.
Right?
Because crazy people take their own perceptions as independent of reality.
Right?
Again, I'm not putting the earlier commenter in this category at all, but I mean, a very minor example was I said, you're trying to find something good in your addiction.
And he came back with.
I'm not justifying it.
Trying to find something good is not the same.
It's just, it's not the same, right?
So his perception of what I said versus what I said is not the same.
And it's not the same in a very sort of self-serving way.
And again, I'm not trying to pick on you or anything or make you feel bad.
I'm just, you happen to provide an example that's kind of vivid in the course of the live stream.
So what you want to do is you want to
Look at her self-perceptions, her perceptions of reality, and compare them to the facts.
How well is she processing reality?
Right, so if she says, uh, Oh, I've always wanted to be a writer.
I can't remember.
They did a girl who was like, Oh, I've always wanted to be a writer.
Okay.
All right.
I don't understand this.
Want to be always wanted to be.
I don't understand that.
Just sit down and write for God's sake.
I don't understand this.
I've always wanted to lift my arm.
Why don't you lift your arm?
I've always wanted to lift my arm.
Is your arm ever up?
I've always wanted to lift my arm.
It's just weird, right?
It's just weird.
I don't know what it means to want to do something that is free to do.
And you have the time to do it.
I've just, I've never understood that.
So a lot of times people will say, like, you know, when I wrote my first real adult novel, Revolutions, and I, I remember being in, in university and people said, Oh, what did you do with your summer?
And I said, well, I, I worked two jobs and I wrote a novel.
Like, Oh, I've always wanted to write a novel.
I'm like, what does that mean?
I don't understand.
I don't understand.
It's free.
You literally need a pen and a piece of paper or a pencil if you're more uncertain.
Like, I don't understand.
Just sit down.
I don't understand people who just say they want to do stuff.
You know, it's like, I don't know, some multi-decker zillionaire saying, oh, I've always wanted to go to Japan, and he hasn't worked in years, and he's got a zillion dollars.
It's like, what do you mean you've always wanted to go to Japan?
I don't understand.
So I think for the most time, it's people just saying stuff so that
They look good.
Like, so you're in the category of writer without actually being a writer.
Ah, I've always wanted to, or I've written this, or I've written that.
So I remember a woman saying, yeah, I love writing this, that, and the other.
Oh, I'd love to see what you, yeah, I've always wanted to code.
Yeah, it's free.
Like, it's really free.
I've always wanted to do this.
And so I remember a woman who's like, oh, I've always wanted to do X, Y, and Z. And like, oh, what have you done so far?
Oh, well, I wrote a little bit in, you know, a couple of years ago.
Oh, I'd love to read it, right?
Oh, I'm not sure I can find it.
It's like, OK, so you want to be in the category called writer because that makes you seem smart or whatever it is.
But you don't actually write.
So that to me, honestly, that's just like I can feel it's a boner killer.
Like I just, I'm like, Oh God, no, no, no, no, no.
Or people who, who are very vain with no accomplishments, which always tends to go hand in hand, like people who are super vain, but they have no accomplishments.
Oof.
Right.
That's really bad.
Yeah.
I can see your comments.
So yeah, it's really bad.
Yes, I took a science degree.
I've always been fascinated by science.
Science is like my thing.
It's like, but you're a waitress.
So when there's a gap between portrayed self-perception and actual achievements, that's really bad.
That's really bad.
Sorry, for those who are asking, I've only received one tip so far.
So, you just compare what people say to what they actually do.
Oh, I'm fascinated by history.
Oh, what's your favorite period of history?
Who's your favorite writer in that period?
You know, what are the big lessons you've got out of the study?
Nothing, right?
Just, I mean, there's nothing.
So when people have a wide disparity between personal perspective and actual achievements.
Now, when you're a teenager or you're maybe your early twenties or whatever, that's one thing.
But once you get into your mid to late twenties, and if you have ambitious talk with no actual achievements,
You know, I could say, oh yeah, I want to be a writer.
Oh, what have you written?
30 plays, hundreds of poems, three novels, like even in my mid-twenties, right?
So yeah, and you can read them.
I'd love to read them to you.
I'm very proud of them.
And so on, right?
So yeah, when, when people have very high opinions of themselves with absolutely nothing to back it up, you're going on a one-way ticket to crazy town.
And, uh, it's really, it's really sad.
Winners do, losers say.
Losers like to talk about stuff, winners like to actually do stuff.
And when you're doing stuff, you don't actually like to talk about it that much.
If you're actually doing it, right?
Unless it's something which is designed to be shared, right?
So, yeah.
It's really sad.
Hopefully that helps.
Ask the person about their life.
I do prefer tips on Rumble or Locals.
I appreciate that.
Freedomain.com slash donate is fine.
Whatever works for you is best as well.
So I'm easy, whatever you happen to be, but freedomain.com slash donate is, I think it's the lowest overhead, but whatever works for you is fine with me.
All right.
Do you have a play of yours you'd like to see performed that hadn't hit the stage?
I don't know if I have a copy of my play Seduction.
That was the one that I liked the most.
I actually did produce that one in Toronto many years ago.
I was a director and producer.
All right.
Let me get your comments.
So the role of the artist in society
So the role of an artist in a healthy society.
Uh, any chance you can do a show on entrepreneurship?
Well, you can do a search for that.
Um, we did a round table on entrepreneurship sometime ago, and I'm just, uh, just before, just to say general, you wouldn't necessarily know this before you ask me, can I do a show on this?
I've got over 5,000 shows.
Please check if I've done one already, just for my sanity sake.
So, uh, let me see here.
Um, and maybe I haven't, uh, at least it's not, it's not put that way.
So let me just go have a look here.
So fdrpodcast.com.
Uh, but it would also be helpful if I did actually spell this correctly.
Sorry.
Um, I have, uh, I don't want to give you guys full fisheye lenses.
So, uh, all my glasses.
So I don't have my reading glasses on.
Yeah.
Uh, it looks like there is no show on entrepreneur.
Let's try business.
Oh, maybe it's in, uh, business.
Yeah.
There's a bunch of shows on business.
So.
But maybe we did, I remember we did a round table one, maybe it's in the premium shows.
But yeah, do a search, FDRpodcast.com.
Yeah, it's funny to think I haven't worked for anybody else in, well, let's see here.
Other than a very short stint, I have been largely my own boss for 30 years.
30 years, isn't that wild?
30 years.
Minus, I think, eight months at one point, but yeah, been about 30 years that I've not had to report to anybody else.
It's a good thing.
Well, except you, the lovely audience and all that, so.
All right.
Yeah.
The role of the artist in society is to provide emotional cues for the pursuit of virtue.
That's not true.
You work for me.
Kind of.
Yeah.
But I mean, I work for philosophy and that's the best way I can work for you.
So yeah, like a doctor who works for health is the one who's going to keep you the healthiest.
So yeah, the purpose of the artist is to inspire emotions in the pursuit of virtue.
So the portrayal of heroes, the portrayal of integrity leads to virtue, leads to happiness and
Corruption leads to destruction, right?
To give people the end result, right?
To give people the end result.
How to be, oh, there was an episode 5035, how to be an entrepreneur.
Now, why did that not show up in the search?
Sorry, let me just check this wee techie tech thing.
Maybe I had typed the word wrong.
Oh yes, sorry.
There are in fact tons of shows on entrepreneurs, on entrepreneurship.
Is that right?
Yes, I must have typed it wrong.
I will give you the... Yeah.
Achieving maximum productivity.
Yes, lots of... Best entrepreneurial advice ever.
I was interviewed by someone, so there's a lot of stuff.
Let me just put the...
Your apology is totally accepted.
I appreciate that.
Thank you.
You didn't have to tip to get my... Sorry, I missed that, but your apology is totally accepted.
No problem at all.
In fact, I don't mind... I don't mind, of course, when people make mistakes.
Do you have any books for young men going into adulthood?
It's pretty embarrassing the standard these days for something like, this is 12 Rules for Life.
Well, I think The Art of the Argument is pretty good, and Real Time Relationships is pretty good, and UPB is pretty good, so yeah.
I would go with all of those for a young man or a young woman.
All right.
So yeah, I mean, so I remember the opening of the movie Clerks.
There's a guy who comes into a convenience store and shows the people what a smoker's lung looks like.
And it turns out he works for a gum company because he's trying to get people to chew gum rather than smoke cigarettes.
And so you see the end product right you see the end product like I remember being I was in the movie I was in the play King Lear by Shakespeare of course I played Cornwall the guy who gouges out someone else's eyes and really the only evil character I ever played but I remember being really inspired by
The breaking of vanity that the play represents, right?
So at the beginning, King Lear is like this big, powerful Titan Zeus-like figure, and at the end, it's like, I'm a very fun, foolish old man.
And the madness and chaos that the powerful have to go through to break vanity and connect through to those around them was really powerful to me.
And so that's a story of like, okay, you will destroy the kingdom of the self if you rule over people with arrogance.
And if you soften and open your heart, you connect and the kingdom is heaven or as close to heaven on earth as you can get.
And so for me as well, knowing my abilities, power versus love.
My novel Revolutions is about that.
It is a man of great ability.
Seek power, or does he seek love?
Because the two opposites.
You can have power, you won't have love.
You can have love, and you only get love by giving up power, right?
You're giving up authority, right?
You have to submit to virtue, to integrity.
You have to give up power, the will, to just force things to happen.
You have to give that up in order to have love.
Because if you dominate people, they can't love you.
They can resent you.
They can be excited by the dominance if they're kind of kinky, but they can't love you.
So, and the answer that I came, and I didn't honestly, when I started the novel, I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out, but the answer, like I wrote my life through that novel.
The answer in the novel, of course, is love.
And do you make the world a better place by dominating other through political power or sophistry or, or do you make the world a better place by raising a couple of happy and virtuous children?
So I wrote my future in that novel.
The answer in that novel is the answer that I've been living.
All right.
Let's see here.
Do you think it's true that there are more virtuous high-value men compared to women at the moment, thanks to philosophy and manosphere counterculture?
If it's true, it would be mathematically impossible for all those men to find proportionally virtuous women.
If you agree with this premise, if not why, do you think they should decrease their standard and procreate?
Or try to turn a bad woman into a good woman?
I think you're against that.
Or should you remain single?
Thank you.
So that is passive.
So that is, that is somebody who's on the other side of the glass of willpower and effect in society, looking through that glass darkly and trying to choose what's in a shop window rather than being the baker.
Right?
So you don't choose from what is.
Right?
I mean, you're here because I'm not saying what other philosophers have said for thousands of years.
Right?
Is that fair to say?
Hit me with a why if you're here because I say what other people don't.
I'm not a cover band, right?
I do Origins.
So the idea in life that you choose from what is
Rather than create what ought to be is fundamentally incomprehensible to me.
And always has been.
The philosophy I wanted, but not in the world.
I didn't say, well, I really, really want to be a philosopher.
So what I have to do is I have to choose from all of the existing philosophies by dead guys that who I can't change.
So you're looking and saying, well, let's say there's.
45% virtuous men but only 43% virtuous women that means 2% of men aren't going to find a woman and oh my god.
Oh my god.
You can't be in a philosophy show and say I'm passive in the world and must choose from what is.
My god.
I wanted an ethical system that was ironclad, absolute and bulletproof.
There weren't any so I made one.
People come here because they can't get what's here anywhere else.
There's nowhere else that you can get what we do here.
I mean, I hear other people listen to other shows, I don't know why.
I mean, maybe it's just to relax from the power of this show, but yeah, you can't get what we do here anywhere else.
I mean, the breadth, width, and depth of the topics that we pursue, the amount of practical, actionable philosophy that we generate and talk about is second to none, not just across the world, even with all the communications technology, but across all of history.
So, fuck trying to choose from what is in the world.
How, in a sense, given what you know and what we talk about here, how dare you think that all you can do is choose from what is?
You want a virtuous woman?
Be an outspoken virtuous man.
I'd be an outspoken virtuous man.
If you are an outspoken virtuous man, women will either be inspired by your virtue to become virtuous, or the virtuous woman will clamp on to you and won't let you go for any reason whatsoever.
You don't want, like, it's like those lantern fish down in the dark, like really down, like way beyond any place the sunlight's in the eternal inky blackness of the Mariana Trench or whatever.
Did they just sit around with their mouths open and hope to swallow something?
That's not going to work.
What do they do?
They got that little lamp and they light up that phosphorescent lamp over their mouths.
The fish are attracted and they swallow the fish.
You don't want to choose from what is.
You want to attract what you want.
And the way that you attract what you want.
Anglerfish, yeah.
The way that you attract what you want is to loudly and proudly be the ideal.
Go start a philosophy group.
Talk to people in public about philosophy and virtue and truth and stand up to the bad guys where it's reasonably safe to do so and promote virtue and all of that.
The right people will find you if you're advertising your virtue.
I don't mean in a fake way, but you know, you're living your virtue, then the virtuals will find you.
Why do you care how many virtuous women there are in the world?
You just need one.
You just need one.
I mean, this would be like one of the anglerfish starving to death because it's concerned that other anglerfish's lights aren't working and they'll starve to death.
Feed yourself.
You're trying to give yourself an excuse.
I mean, I just tell you what's going on, right?
You're trying to give yourself a mathematical excuse as to why you haven't found the right woman yet.
Hey man, it's just a numbers game.
It's just like rolling dice.
It's just a numbers game, man.
It's just, you know, it's the reason I haven't found the right woman is because the math is not with me.
The reason I can't sin is the sign, right?
Uh, no, the reason you haven't found the right woman is you haven't been as prominently the right man.
You know, she's looking for you too.
She's coming across a lot of bitter guys and a lot of video game and porn addicts and a lot of men who can't get their lives going.
And a lot of men who are high maintenance, a lot of men who smell and a lot of men who don't shave or shave weirdly, or, you know, have that mangy half beard thing, the neck beards and all of that.
Right.
So, or who are fat or right.
She's, she's trying to find you.
Help her out, man.
Do you know, almost all mammals have some kind of mating cry.
Don't you ever hear Cats and Heaton?
Or Kate Bush?
Yeah, I mean, it's... Dogs howl, cats meow.
The mating cry of the sperm whale can shatter the human eardrum if it's close enough.
A sperm whale can make his mating cry heard over a thousand miles of ocean in every direction.
And you can't be out there being prominently good so a good woman can find you.
I mean, come on, man.
I mean, I get that.
You're out there being prominently good.
The good woman will find you and the bad men and women will also find you and will attack you.
Well, so what?
Yeah, birds are amazing at attracting mates.
They're feathers and dancers.
Yeah, you got the male birds.
They scoop out all the detritus from an entire clearing, do massive dances with their, you know, twerking feathers, peacock-like, up in the air.
I'm glad you got the Kate Bush reference.
Heathcliff!
So, yeah, just, I mean, be out there.
Put on a mating display for virtue, man.
Put on a mating display for virtue.
So... I mean, a mating display for virtue can simply be just talking about what's right and wrong.
You don't have to go out there and, I don't know, Batman-style beat up a bunch of criminals.
In fact, please don't do that, but... Yeah, just... Right?
Yeah, birds are usually much more... Aesthetic.
Sure!
Yeah, they have to attract, right?
I don't think it's impossible for me to find a good woman.
I'm quite optimistic about that.
The question wasn't about me.
See, you haven't listened.
And this is how I know people are defenses of when they don't listen.
Okay.
So let me ask you this just in general, I'm not trying to pick on the audience, but it's going to happen, right?
So, because I want everyone to be aware, just, you got to be precise in what you say.
So.
Was I talking about finding a good woman?
Right?
Here's the quote.
Right?
He said, I don't think it's impossible for me to find a good woman.
I'm quite optimistic about that.
The question wasn't about me.
So what was my entire speech about?
Was it about finding a good woman?
Or not?
Was it something else?
Oh, precision.
It was about attracting.
It was about attracting a good woman.
It was about putting on a mating display so a good woman can find you.
Right?
So when people
Misrepresent what you say.
It's because what you're saying is painful to them.
So they need to reframe it in their own mind so that you're saying something totally different, which they're more comfortable with.
And that's why you can't find a good woman.
You can't find a good woman because you manipulate language to comfort yourself.
And listen, we all do it.
I'm not, you know, some guru on a mountain.
Oh, I never would do that.
Right.
We all do that.
Right.
It's gaslighting yourself.
We all want to reinterp language so that things are less painful.
Because we have that ability.
And we all do it.
And I'm just pointing it out.
I do it sometimes.
Everybody, like, just got to point out that habit.
That it is a form of lying.
I'm not calling you a liar or anything.
It is a form of lying to gaslight, right?
To strawman, right?
I wasn't talking about you finding, I was saying how you can be publicly attractive to the point where the woman can find you, right?
So if you'd have said, oh, I have no, I have no worries about my ability to attract a good woman, that would mean that you have listened, right?
And the interesting thing about text is it's not extemporaneous, right?
So text, right?
So you will not be able to find a good woman if you don't listen with great detail to what people say.
And again, I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just simply pointing out, I'm trying to help you find a good woman.
Don't be passive, be active in being the person, the kind of person you want, will want.
That sums it up.
Yeah, that's very well.
So when I give, you know, a ten minute speech and you completely misinterpret it, what that means is that, I mean, listen.
We've all been on the receiving end of this, right?
Everybody in life, hopefully we're not too often on the giving end of it, but we're very often in life we're on the receiving end of this situation.
The situation is you explain something to someone and they immediately misrepresent it coming back.
Do you not
Feel a great sense of weariness and just like, Oh, forget it.
Forget it.
Right.
You go through, you know, here's why I state the society would be great.
And people are like, Oh, so you just want, you just want hungry people to starve in the streets.
Right.
It's nothing to do with what you said.
Right.
So haven't we all gone through this?
Haven't we all gone through this?
I feel this wave of weariness and just like, I don't bother anymore.
The great thing about being 57 is you can see the end of your life.
Hopefully it's 30 years, 40 years away.
But you can see the end of your life and it's like, mm-mm, no time.
No time this time.
Yeah, no time.
He says, okay, I accept the correction.
But the point of my question remains, it wasn't about me, it was a general question about the state of things.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
The older I get, the more I avoid these combos that immediately push back.
Yeah, it happens.
It happens, everyone.
I just, like, yeah.
No, if people aren't willing to listen, why would you pretend to have a conversation?
Like, if people aren't going to listen to you, why would you pretend to have a conversation?
General question about the state of things.
I don't know.
No, it's not.
It's not.
I mean, it's just not.
For people to get into genuine abstractions requires such a high degree of self-knowledge that I assume it's always absence until proven otherwise.
So if somebody's really like, why is it that men can't find more men are moral?
Fewer women are moral according to this listener.
Why is it men can't find dates?
Doesn't this mathematically mean that some men just won't be?
You think this is an, that's not an abstract topic.
That's not an abstract topic topic.
It is nice when you come across a truly great listener.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I find it challenging reframing my negative internal dialogue.
Why is it yours, Doug?
Why is it yours?
Why, why would it be?
Do you think, do you think that animals as a whole just wake up and say, the lion just wakes up and says, you know, I think I'm just going to run into a tree over and over again until I get a concussion.
You know, it'd be excellent.
I'm just going to extend my claws and scrape my gums until I get an infection.
That would be excellent.
Right?
So, when a lion is acting in a self-destructive manner, we assume brain damage or some sort of parasite that has harmed their capacity to think for themselves.
You know, like the parasite that goes from the mice, like it infects the mice to make them unafraid of cats, so that the parasite can use the mice to jump from cat to cat, right?
So why on earth would you assume that it's yours?
You have an infection.
You have an infection of personality.
You understand?
Most personalities are constantly trying to infect each other.
I mean, I'm sure you, we know this, right?
We know this.
This is nothing new or shocking.
Like most personalities are like viruses actively trying to infect others.
Toxoplasmosis.
Yeah, I think that's what it is, right?
So, you have an infection of a brain virus called another personality structure.
Most people can't spread through reason, so they spread through propaganda.
Your parents' personality is using their body to infect you so that you become like them.
Right?
I mean, you understand, personality infection works way faster than genetic adaptation, right?
It takes 5,000 years for the Tibetans to become used to living at high altitude, right?
But you can infect someone with a personality structure in one generation.
Like, it's so fast that personalities are most often, not always, but most often personalities, they're just viruses.
And being around other people with destructive personality structures is a form of Russian roulette.
Sooner or later, they're going to get you.
Yeah, adult-child infection.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Adult-child infection.
So, I view toxic personalities in the same way that I view someone coughing up blood in the room.
Right.
So not that I, I don't have any of these people in my life, but you know, occasionally you'll run into them here or there.
Right.
So my particular perspective is that if somebody were, if somebody is like volatile and, and weird and crazy or whatever, right.
Immoral.
Uh, then I view that as the same as somebody coughing up blood at a dinner table.
Peace out.
I'm out.
I'm not getting infected.
Right?
I mean, if you're a parent, I love having friends come to visit.
And most of my friends have big, big families.
One of the things that you have to accept or recognize is that when people come to visit, almost always one of their kids will be sick and almost always you will get it.
If you haven't had it before, right?
Like you will, you will get it.
It's just the price of cross-parenting pollination is all the viruses, no demand coming from, from kids.
Somebody says, I've just had this happen to me, I think.
It sucks.
Well, it doesn't just happen to you.
No, no, no.
It doesn't just happen to you.
Okay.
Most predators either use camouflage or luring, right?
Like the anglerfish lures in the fish with the light and then snaps them.
Of course, lions and tigers use the cover to get close enough that the sprint works, right?
So, the more disturbed the personality, the more the lure, right?
So, if you want to understand why do we have talent, right?
Why do we have something called talent?
So, talent is the lure that draws people in so that the personality can reproduce.
Beauty, sexiness, status, money, wealth, all of these things tend to be lures through which people are drawn in so that the personality can reproduce.
So think of a sociopathic beautiful woman, right?
Think of a sociopathic beautiful woman.
How many disturbed personalities can she create over the course of her life?
Dozens, probably.
Right.
And then those people will in turn inflict some of their trauma that the sociopathic beautiful woman has inflicted on them.
They will inflict their trauma on those around them and on their kids and this, that and the other.
Right.
So you've got a one, two,
Fifty relationship, one personality, and if somebody's really, really talented, and again, with the media, right?
With the media, right?
So I look at particular musical genres are very good at spreading dysfunction, right?
I mean, country is very good at spreading mistrust of men, right?
Goodbye Earl, and that I took a Louisville slugger to
All Four Lights or whatever it is, I don't know, some song by... Oh, I used to know her name.
Took a Louisville Flugger to both headlights.
Anyway, Carrie Underwood.
So, yeah, so, you know, rap has its own particular transmission and so on.
Rock and roll has its own particular transmission.
The ACDC was fantastic at spreading predatory, hypersexual, R-selected sociopathy around the world and so on.
So talent evolved to lure people within striking distance of the personality.
Right?
I always remember something I think of at least a couple of times a year was, I think it was, Luciano Pavarotti.
Luciano Pavarotti.
When he was touring, all reporters had to stay at a distance from him.
He never shook hands.
He never hugged.
Everyone had to stay at a distance from him because if he got a cold, then he would have to cancel a multi-million dollar concert.
Don't.
Keep people at bay.
Would you say that toxic personalities are less susceptible to being influenced by positive personalities?
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure.
Because positive personalities have their own virtues and therefore don't need to display their talents.
And toxic personalities need to spread by traumatizing others.
Like, honestly, I viewed my mother as possessed by a demon that was trying by hook or by crook to crawl through my sinuses and fuck up my brain.
Honestly, that's the closest analogy and this demonic possession, right?
Craziness jumps from person to person, right?
So once the toxicity has ruined someone's life, they then go, it jumps to ruin other lives.
So I viewed my mother as
A force, a demonic force really, that was constantly waging war against my natural defenses.
And I was losing that shit badly until philosophy came along.
Philosophy was like that miracle weapon that's thrown to the hero when he's just about to get his head cut off.
This is why I dedicated my life to philosophy.
This is why I'm so grateful to philosophy.
It saved my entire fucking life.
No shit, no kidding, no hyperbole, straight up facts.
Philosophy was the Holy Shield, whose name I spoke, that drove the demons back that were about to win.
So.
I have tried to arm others as I was armed, because I was going under, man.
I was going down.
They were taking me down.
I was on my last shred of a leg.
And then I got the sword, the vorpal sword, the laser sword, the lightsaber.
I got it.
I think you've been able to do the same for me, Steph.
Well, I, um, I would very much like to because I was incredibly grateful for the philosophers who worked to give me the shield against possession.
Somebody says I got out of a relationship just recently that I shouldn't have been in.
I don't think she's toxic.
She has virtues, but her negativity really infected me.
Will you understand that the reason that negative people have positive qualities is so that they can infect you?
Right?
The reason that negative people have positive qualities is so they can infect you.
I mean, Instagram is a lure to dysfunction, for the most part.
I mean, and there's wholesome stuff on it in general.
I got the ultimate holy water that saved my soul.
I would have been swallowed whole and done great evil in the world if philosophy had not come to save me.
I come to drink from your well show to handle life in general.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
I appreciate that.
And if you have a cure for the worst ailment, right?
I mean, I'd rather have cancer than evil, and I've kind of experienced both.
So if you have a cure to the worst illness, don't you kind of owe it to the world to spread it as much as possible?
Thank you for the tip.
I appreciate that.
Yes, it hurts to face the fact I wasted almost a year on that relationship, but at least now I have a chance at a real one.
Well, you see, now you say, you wasted that time.
Time is not wasted if you learn from it.
Time is never wasted if you learn from it.
Do you follow?
If you learn from what you have suffered, that suffering is never wasted.
The only way you waste time is to refuse to learn from it.
Have you seen that filter that makes it look like a spider is crawling on your face?
There are videos of people doing it to toddlers and laughing straight up.
Child abuse and people laugh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, obviously hell is sometimes the price we pay for the opportunity for heaven.
I know that sounds like a bit of a deepity, but I think there's some real truth in it.
There's some real truth in it.
I tried being supportive and accommodating and helpful and just got exploited.
So I don't do that anymore.
I gave it a shot, right?
I'm a big sort of experimenter.
Oh, okay.
So I'm supposed to do this in a relationship.
Oh, okay.
I'll try doing this.
See how, see how it works.
Thank you, C2.
I appreciate that.
All right.
Question.
Hi, Steph.
Hope you and your family are doing great.
We are.
Thank you.
I have a question influenced from Chapter 18 of Peaceful Parenting.
When it comes to neglect, can I put my parents in that category?
If they would leave for weeks at a time on regular work-related trips.
I was very young, seven or eight, and left with a live-in babysitter during these times.
Sometimes it would be three weeks, sometimes a few days.
This feels like neglect, but I struggle to see it.
What do you struggle to see?
I'm not sure.
And you know, you can go to freedomain.com slash call in freedomain.com slash call in to send in a call in show request.
And just for a tip, this is not to anyone here, but just, just for a tip, um, if you make it hard for me to schedule with you, I won't schedule with you.
I'm providing an incredibly valuable free service.
You know, for me, it's like, if I want free legal advice for an hour or two from one of the best lawyers in the world, I'm going to accommodate his schedule.
If it's like, I literally had a guy this weekend who was like, Oh, you know, I'll, I'll know in a couple of, I said, well, maybe we could do it at this particular time.
And he's like, well, you know, my girlfriend might be back.
I don't know.
I'll let you know in a couple of hours.
I'm like, well, no, you won't.
I just, I won't schedule it.
Like I'm supposed to hang around like with my day, because maybe the free service that I'm offering to someone might be taken up in a couple of hours.
So yeah, just in general.
I'm not saying that you have to do it at four in the morning your time.
Like we'll work to accommodate something.
But if you, if you make it hard for me to schedule it, I won't, I won't bother.
Cause I'm, I mean, I just, it's, I don't know.
It's kind of weird to me.
It's kind of weird to me.
All right.
Um, let's see here.
I'm not going to talk about that Instagram page.
It sounds pretty bad.
So, yeah, what do you struggle to see?
What do you struggle to see?
Yeah, and, you know, if you give me a Skype ID, especially, it's a funny thing, right?
So people, in their message, they won't give me their email address, which is, I guess, okay.
They won't give me their email address.
Just, you know, minor little quirks for the audience.
But it's just, you know, thinking things through.
So they won't give me their email address.
They'll only give me their Skype ID.
And then I messaged them saying, let's set up a time.
And then like three weeks later I get, Oh, I never log into Skype.
It's like, well, how the hell did you think I was going to message you?
You didn't give me an email address.
The only way I can message.
Oh, so it's like, I'm going to give you my Skype ID and then I'm not going to, I never log into Skype.
It's like, I don't know.
It's just bizarre.
And what I do is I say for my, cause I have to prioritize.
There's lots of people who want to talk.
So I just prioritize based upon how the, how important the conversation is to others.
Right.
I mean, the way that I think about it is like, if I had a chance for a two hour conversation with Ayn Rand, when I was a young man, she was offering me a two hour conversation.
I would do anything to make that happen.
I would, I would like, I wouldn't be like, Oh, maybe I could do it in a couple of hours.
Just sit by the phone and, you know, just put your day on hold.
I'll maybe I'll let you know in a couple of hours, Ms.
Rand, uh, if I can, if I can see my way clear to having a call with you, be like, okay, no, that's, that's fine.
Because if people aren't that invested in the call, then I will generally defer to those who are more invested in the call.
If that makes sense, like the people who really want to make it happen.
Those are the people I will.
Unless I'm not criticizing, I'm just saying if it's not a high priority for you, then I'll generally... It's triage, right?
The people who are more urgent are the people who will get my time, right?
Because, again, I can't even tell you how many people who want to talk.
So, yeah, it's... I'm going to...
I'm going to prioritize the people to whom it's urgent and the people who are like, well, maybe at some point later, maybe again in a couple of weeks we can talk and I'm like, okay, well, I got, you know, big list of people who want to talk, so.
In my field, you're going to pay a minimum $300 an hour and that's cheap.
Yeah, pay Steph for his time.
No, I don't want to be paid.
I don't want to be paid.
I don't want to be paid.
I mean, that's, but I'm not going to work hard to make a call happen because it's supply and demand thing, right?
So he says, maybe it's a struggle to see what I went through as neglect.
I compare that to the kind of neglect where kids are left unfed for days as one example.
Um, so what you're talking about is physical neglect, right?
So you're talking about physical neglect.
No, so, sorry, just, just so somebody quoted, you know what, Steph, that doesn't work for me.
I'll keep you posted.
No, listen, obviously there, you know, people have jobs, they have kids, like I, I'm willing to be flexible to work around it.
I'm just not going to hang around for four hours to see if maybe, like, I want to plan my afternoon.
This was yesterday, right?
So yesterday, uh, I went out with my daughter for most of the day.
We had a bunch of stuff to do and we, we roamed around.
And so, um, for me, it's like, well, I'd rather be out with my daughter.
And if the guy wants to talk it too.
Then I'll come back, right?
If that's the best time for him, you know, he was at a different time zone.
So I will, um...
I will make it happen, right?
But if it's like, well, you know, if you could be by the phone at two, then I'll let you know about then, when I might, like, if I'm going to do it, I'm like, no, I'm not, like, I don't understand.
I'm sorry.
This just, it's fundamentally incomprehensible to me.
And this might be, of course, my limitation.
This might be just my, like, cause the way that I'm like, okay, wow.
You know, if I, if I had the chance to talk to someone about like essential life issues that could be super helpful, I'd be like,
Well, you know, I'll let you know in a couple of hours, just plan your day around me.
Uh, you know, plan to be, be available for me at two and, and maybe I'll be there.
Maybe I won't.
I'll let you know shortly ahead of time.
I'm like, I don't know.
It's actually, honestly, it's like, it's an insult to any sort of, um, uh, pride I have to be treated in that kind of way.
And look, I'm not saying this is a bad guy or anything like that.
It's just fundamentally incomprehensible to me.
Like, you know, if you could just hang out by the phone and, uh, you know, I'll let you know in a couple of hours whether I might be available to, to take the call.
I'm like, I got the demand list that goes on for four miles.
You know, people who were like, I'll make it happen day or night, anytime.
I don't care.
Blah, blah, blah.
And it's like, I don't know.
Again, it's no hate to the guy.
Like it's totally fine.
It's totally fine.
It.
Uh, somebody says, OMG, this sounds like my ex who tells me I'm the love of his life.
He says it's just the way he is.
I don't know what that means.
Whatever it is, it's not somebody who's recognizing the value.
Like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't treat, when I was a manager, right, if somebody wanted to know if they got the job, I wouldn't say to them, well, if you could just, you know, hang out by the phone for four hours, maybe I'll let you know at two o'clock.
Like, even somebody where I was in a position of, quote, power and authority, I wouldn't treat anyone like that.
I mean, that's treating me the way that the cable company treats you.
If you could just be home between 6 a.m.
and 9 p.m., that would be excellent.
Also, if you're in the washroom, we won't stay.
Again, I'm not being overly critical, and it's no hate or anything like that.
I'm just from the other person's perspective.
Negative people have positive traits to lure you.
Never thought about it that way, but that is so much deadlier than what I ever thought or even thought of.
Well, um, you can think of, I mean, somebody like Freddie Mercury, right?
Freddie Mercury had obviously massive amounts of talent and charisma and ability.
And he used that to spread, you know, chaotic gay sex and, you know, quite possibly the AIDS virus because people wanted to sleep with him because he was Freddie Mercury.
So you understand that the, the psychological and possibly physical illnesses that he spread relied upon his talents in order to spread, right?
Yeah.
Oh, you have to sign for package.
The time window for delivery is the entire day.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Well, it's kind of like you have, uh, you know, a couple of, you have like 10 companies that want to deliver your package.
And one of them says it'll be right there on the dot at two o'clock.
And other people are like, well, if you could just be home for half the day, that'd be excellent.
Steph drops gems all the time.
Loved what you recently said.
If you dominate people, they can't love you.
So true.
Yeah, it's true.
Yeah, a toxic mother luring her children home for free meals.
Yeah, yeah.
For sure.
I'll do your laundry.
I'll make your food.
Here's your hamburger helper.
Have you ever heard of a psychiatrist named Jerry Marzinski?
He argues that people who are schizophrenic are being fed negative thoughts by literal demons.
It sounds crazy, but it seems plausible to me based on things my schizophrenic brother told me about being relieved from the voices through prayer.
Oh, interesting.
I've not heard of him.
I do know, I think it was in Norway, I think it was Norway, where they tried a sort of community-based, somewhat moral-based treatment for schizophrenia that seemed to have some success, so you might want to look that up.
It wasn't physical neglect, it was probably emotional.
But again, I have this block that tries to tell me I'm just wrong.
This block is most likely my parents, so I don't challenge their choice to work over being my parents.
Right.
So this is, you know, cats in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy believe it, the man in the moon.
It wasn't physical neglect, it was emotional neglect, right?
So emotional neglect is worse than physical neglect, right?
Emotional neglect is worse than physical neglect.
I mean, if you look at prison, right?
Prison will house and feed you and give you medical care.
So your physical needs are taken care of, but they remove you from relationships out there in the world, right?
So prison is not physical neglect, but emotional neglect.
In fact, I saw a video where the guy was like, Oh, I'm way better off in prison.
You know, when I'm in prison, I get, you know, three hearts in a cart and out there I'd just be drinking and doing drugs and committing crime.
And, you know, just being a terrible person.
And I'd probably, I'd be dead if I wasn't in prison.
Right.
So I guess some people who have no capacity for emotional connection prefer prison too.
Right.
So emotional neglect is worse than physical neglect.
Also, how were you supposed to bond with babysitters who come and go?
How are you supposed to mind me?
Assume that you didn't have one constant babysitter who stayed with you your entire childhood while your parents were working.
And of course, as a child, you're completely dependent upon your parents' love and protection.
Right?
Anxious children are those who feel unprotected.
And if you don't experience the love and protection of your parents, then you feel anxious because you're subject to predation.
How well do you sleep if there are wolves around and no one's guarding you while you sleep?
You don't sleep very well at all.
You can't relax because no one is protecting you.
And this is why women's anxiety, they feel because they've been trained to avoid any sense of danger and be told that the only real danger in, in the world is the protection of men, right?
This is what, this is what women have been taught for 75 years.
That the only real danger in the world is the protection of men.
Well, let's do.
Right.
This is why women are antidepressants and anxiety.
And this is why they're obsessed with murder, crime podcasts and so on.
Right.
So the only, the only danger you face, honey, is the protection of men.
You can't rely on men.
Men will betray you.
Come to the state, come to the government.
Right.
So.
So if your parents prefer things other than you, you're in danger.
Right.
Like that Simpsons kid on the back of the bus.
He he, I'm in danger!
Right, laughing, right?
But there is something very foundational about that.
If your parents don't love you, your parents' love for you is your protection against death.
Right?
Like, if you look at Christianity, it is your Heavenly Father's love for you that protects you from eternal death.
Love is protection from predators, which is why those who want to prey on you will always teach you to be threatened by love, to bond with no one and nothing, to get you to be suspicious of men and women, to separate you, because we are only protected by love.
Those who love us who watch our back.
Those who love us who give us good counsel.
Those who love us who stand up for us.
Those who love us who are our shield and our harbor against the acidic twisted immoralities that rip through the sky scenes of the planet.
You don't have love.
All you have is fear.
You don't have connection, commitment.
All you have is anxiety and insomnia and distraction.
And so much of the modern world is a distraction from the anxiety that separation produces.
When we are separated from each other, we are easy fucking pickings.
Right?
You think all those birds, they fly in that pattern, right?
So that they can feed the minnows, right?
You're separated, you're just as eaten.
We live together, we die alone.
Thank you, Dr. Arnn.
I appreciate that.
And of course, if you're anxious, you're easily programmed.
Like, where did the COVID terror come from?
What was the CDC has just said?
Ah, you know, just treat it like the flu.
You don't even have to quarantine for five days.
It's just the flu.
Now, of course, my obviously amateur understanding is that, you know, it has, COVID has become less virulent over, which is exactly what was expected, right?
It always becomes less virulent so that it can spread better.
But why were people so easy to be frightened?
Because they live without love, which is why the Christian community was the least frightened of COVID because they live with the love of each other.
They live with the love of the community and they live with the love of the divine.
So they're harder to frighten, which is why the powers that be are so hostile to Christianity is that it provides a community that resists tyranny.
You need to be in a constant state of fear, because then you're ashamed and isolated and easy to push over, right?
Single piece of wood, easy to break.
Fifty pieces of wood, can't break.
This is why the radical individualism can be very dangerous as well.
This is a tip for your Truth About Sadism series.
Yes, I think the Truth About Sadism series was very good, and thanks again to Jared for some excellent research.
So, when you were a kid, your parents go on these multi-week business trips.
Then you perceive that as endangering you.
Of course you do.
They're gone.
How the hell are you supposed to survive with wolves and hyenas and...
Without parents around, who the hell's going to teach you which berries to eat, which berries will kill you, where to drink, which is not deadly, what you can eat, what you can't eat, how best to sleep, who's going to instruct you or teach you on how to live, how to survive, who's going to protect you at night when you sleep, who's going to protect you from your small, juicy, tender, wolf-drooling appetizer-size frame in the face of endless predation?
You know, or for girls, right?
For girls, who's going to protect you from the pedophiles?
Right?
There is no answer, and therefore there is only fear.
So if you have anxiety,
It has a lot to do with not being bonded with your parents.
Which has to do with your parents choosing something other than you, while you being biologically dependent upon them.
They said they loved me but were never around.
In my teenage years, they divorced and my mom micromanaged us, her kids, until we left home.
Yeah, and she had to micromanage you because she had no credibility with you.
Parenting is all about credibility.
That's all it is.
Parenting is all about credibility.
If you're right... If you're right as a parent, often, then your kids will listen to you, right?
What does philosophy say about corporal punishment versus prison?
Oh, I don't quite understand what you mean.
Corporal punishment versus prison.
I'm not sure.
If you can tell me more, I'm not sure about what that means.
Read Starship Trooper.
It's Robert Heinlein.
I never got into him.
I know he's supposed to be a big end cap writer, but I'm honestly, it's nothing.
I just, I found his, uh, his characters way too cocky and annoying.
Yeah, it was just too cocky and annoying.
There's no vulnerability, very little humanity in his characters.
Alright, I've grown up without parental support and now I'm in my 30s.
I'm seeing how much of a disadvantage that is.
It's just so much trial and error.
So much paying for knowledge that is passed on to people with loving parents.
Yeah, for sure.
Sorry, Steph, what do you mean by she had to micromanage because she had no credibility?
Yeah, so because you didn't have a bond with her.
Uh, because you didn't have a bond with her because she was gone for so much of your childhood, or you had less of a bond for her, uh, with her because she was gone for so much of your childhood, then you didn't, she didn't have the credibility that you would listen to her.
And so because she didn't have the credibility that you would listen to her naturally, then she's got a nag in micromanage because you just don't want to do what she says.
Right.
Are you familiar with the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind?
It was very influential for me.
What's your opinion on it, if you are familiar?
Ah, so Terry Goodkind is a fantasy writer.
Oh, he's dead now.
I suppose so.
I suppose that makes sense.
Let me just see here.
Good God, that guy wrote some books.
Holy crap.
So Terry Goodkind.
Oh gosh.
So when I was a kid, there was a, uh, a book that came out, I think it was by Terry Goodkind that basically was a copy paste of, of, um, Lord of the Rings.
You know, the old wizard comes to the, uh, young peaceful person and wants him to go on some big giant quest and all of that.
So.
FDRpodcasts.com not FDRpodcats.com.
Thank you, Steph.
That really helps and is quite a huge weight lifted.
I'm a new dad and my five month old brings so much joy and I want to be the best for him and my wife.
Oh, congratulations, man.
It's a wonderful age.
It's an every age for parenting is wonderful.
And just when you get tired of a particular age, um, a new age comes along.
That's great.
So, uh, yeah, the, the, the Terry Goodkind, if it's the guy I'm thinking of, uh, this books came out in my, in my teens.
Let me just see here.
If.
Let me just see here if he is the guy I'm thinking of.
I think I remember the cover, but it was too much of a copy and paste of Lord of the Rings.
So let's see, books in order.
No, that would be, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Standalone, no.
No, he would have been, because this was a guy in the 80s.
So yeah, I don't know the sort of truth one, sorry.
Terry Pritchett?
Anyway, something like that.
There was some guy who came out with a real copy-paste of that.
Somebody says, I didn't hear from my father for months.
I had a time when I lived at my mother's house.
Now that I'm out on my own, he's tried to call me six times, and two times I answered, he tried to get me to invite him to my house.
Well, I obviously don't know the history, but obviously your parents are separated.
So your father might have been unwilling to talk to you directly about what happened with your mother while you were still under her roof.
Now that you're older and under your mother's thumb, he might want to talk to you about what happened.
Now that you're not under the direct influence of your mother and dependent upon her income.
So whether you should talk to him or not, I don't know.
I don't know whether you should talk to him or not, obviously.
He also may want to tell you about what happened now that you have more independence.
Or separated fathers, very much as they used to say in England, they're on the back foot.
It means they're just kind of at sixes or sevens.
They can't speak directly to their children because their children are too much under the control of the mother.
And they're afraid that if they tell you, the children, the truth, that the children will then go back to the mother and says, well, dad said this and then the whole mess goes up again.
And right.
So maybe he wants to talk to you more directly.
I've been thinking a lot about how much stems from a constant low-level anxiety in a society that can't legally access guns.
Oh, that's interesting.
Corporal punishment versus prison.
Is it better in principle?
So prison in general, whatever form it would take, ostracism from society, is because
Once evil has got a hold of you and your soul dies, so to speak, you can't be fixed.
And so prison is for when recidivism or recovery of the soul is impossible.
And so you simply have to separate yourself from those people, right?
I mean, if you get a dog, right from the shelter, and the dog is aggressive, but you can train the dog to be peaceful, so much the better.
But, if the dog remains aggressive, you can't keep him in the house, particularly if you have children.
So, ostracism is for when people can't be reformed, they've lost their soul or their free will, in a sense, because they no longer have any capacity to compare proposed actions to ideal standards, so they'll do whatever they can get away with.
It should be mostly reserved for, of course, people who don't put shopping carts back in the right place.
It's like the tech lead.
He went to Japan to see his kid and was arrested and not allowed to see his kid.
Well, but yeah, Dostoyevsky said prison can also be for the prisoner's salvation.
Well, that's the end of Crime and Punishment, right?
But we don't know the story with Techlord and his kids.
I mean, we know his side, but we don't know her side, right?
So, I'm not saying that I know the right or wrong of it, but I generally reserve judgment if I'm only hearing one side of a volatile issue, right?
I generally reserve judgment if I'm only hearing one side.
All right, let me make sure I got to these questions.
I think there were a few more.
Let me double check.
Let me triple check.
Hi Steph, negative consequences appear to the necessary to be.
I think it's, please, please, guys, check your messages before you post them.
Oh my god, I don't... I shouldn't have to puzzle through this shit live.
Honestly.
If you don't care enough to... Check.
You're typing before you post it for me to ask.
I don't even know what to say.
I'll do this one anyway.
Hi Steph.
Negative consequences appear to be necessary but not sufficient for philosophy to have a vivid presence in people's lives.
Why do you think this is?
It's like having a sunburn while denying the existence of the sun.
You've said before that philosophy is the part of a port of last call when all other landings have failed.
Does this mean that philosophy is only pursued by most people when it's too late to apply the sunscreen?
Seems like what Ayn Rand concludes as well as your novel The Present.
Well, there's three ways of learning.
Well, four.
The first way of learning is reason.
The second way of learning is experience.
The third way of learning is disaster.
And the fourth way of learning is your disasters are so bad and your life is such a wreck that other people learn by your example.
So, of course, philosophy aims at reason.
And experience happens, well, you know, I tried this, it didn't work, I tried this, it didn't work, but it's not a disaster.
You're just feeling your way through.
And then disaster is things go really bad, and then there's other people's catastrophes that you can learn from, right?
So don't mistake where we are with the future, right?
Don't mistake where we are from the future.
So when the Quakers and the Protestants first began talking about the evils of slavery, they faced massive opposition and resistance, massive opposition and resistance, right?
I mean, they were attacked, they were ostracized, they were threatened with legal consequences, and legal consequences were applied.
The story of the abolitionistic movement is very instructive.
So then you'd say, oh my gosh, if it's this hard, if people are this wedded to slavery, I mean, my God, it's going to be, we're going to spend the rest of our lives as a species.
We're going to spend the rest of all of our future is going to be this endless battle about slavery versus not slavery.
But once the tipping point is reached and nobody defends slavery anymore, at least in the West, obviously.
Right.
So, I mean, it's one of the reasons why I got like Jordan Peterson.
Was posting about how, well, like, of course you shouldn't have toxic people in your life.
It's a bad idea.
It's going to make your life worse.
They're going to drag you down.
Get rid of toxic people in your life.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
All stuff I was saying 20 years ago and getting rabidly attacked for.
So the problem with being first is you get arrows from every direction.
People step on your face to get past.
And then what you said is repeated by other people who didn't earn it through suffering.
And nobody ever circles back to say, you're right.
We're sorry.
I got tired of being an innovator in the moral sense, because you just get attacked from every direction.
Everybody shits on you.
And then there's a tipping point that everything that you said that you were attacked for becomes commonplace.
Other people repeat it as if they're wise sages and nobody ever circles back to apologize and pick you back up.
I guess, no, other people can take that on now.
I did it for decades.
Other people can do it.
Not for me anymore.
I mean, philosophically, yes, but not in terms of social stuff.
And certainly not in terms of politics.
All right.
Let's see here.
Thank you for the tip.
Your tip aside, Steph, as a virtuous philosopher, is it unethical to automatically head canon or portray a genuine communication error as a lack of gratitude?
Uh, headcanon, I don't know what that means.
Headcanon?
I'm sorry, I don't know what headcanon means, and again, if you can't be bothered to spellcheck what you're writing, I'm not going to answer.
Shared psychosis delusions is an actual DSM diagnosis.
Crazy.
Is contagious.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure.
And I remember talking to a woman who worked in a psych ward once and she was saying, you know, when the borderlines come in, you just got to get them out as quickly as possible because they will spread chaos.
They will set people against each other.
They will rile people up.
They will drive the crazies even crazier.
You've just got to get them somewhere else as quickly as possible.
Otherwise your whole ward descends into chaos.
So yeah, that's not good.
All right, let's see here.
I went on a date with a guy a few nights ago, twice divorced, two baby mamas, wants no more kids.
Said he was a millionaire and created an app.
It seemed like he was just looking for someone to distract him from his loneliness.
I declined a second date and he got really angry and accused me of leading him on because I had agreed to the second date at the end of the first date.
I did that because I needed to think it over and I didn't want to be mean.
Why, why are you going out with a guy twice divorced with two baby mamas?
Once no more kids.
Why would you go out with someone like that?
Oh, is he good looking?
He's probably good looking, right?
I feel like I dodged a bullet, but some of my friends think I should have gone on the second date.
So this guy feels entitled because you said, yeah, I could, I'd like to do this again.
And then you change your mind.
So he gets angry.
You're not allowed to change your mind.
You're not allowed to have your own opinions.
Plus you may have sensed his anger and appeased him in the moment.
So he wouldn't get angry at you at the end of the first date.
You may have just appeased him sensing his anger, which he then displayed by thinking he's somehow entitled to a second date.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry.
Like, yes, of course you dodged a bullet.
And, um,
I don't know that your friends are doing you many favors by saying you should go on a date with this guy who's angry and entitled.
Ugh.
Gross.
Alright.
Yeah, you know, men are not entitled to dates from women and women are not entitled for money from men.
Of course, women have a right to say that a man should not expect them to date.
Men shouldn't be entitled to sleep with women.
Men shouldn't be entitled to female attention.
And all of that is very true.
All of that is very true.
But women are not entitled to male resources, right?
So if, and this is why it's female entitlement to male resources through the welfare state that sometimes generates male entitlement.
Uh, and so it's not a, not an easy problem to solve to, to put it mildly.
All right.
Well, listen, thanks everyone so much for a.
Great conversation and a great show.
I really, really do appreciate you guys dropping by.
And if you're listening to this later, of course, freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show.
I'd really, really would appreciate that.
Freedomain.com slash donate and have yourself a wonderful rest of the
Sunday and I will talk to you guys early next week.
I'll probably do a live stream or two before Wednesday night live working on the Peaceful Parenting book.
I've got more stuff to read as the audio book.
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You can sign up and give it a try.
You can also check out the amazing work that's up there.
That's just premium and all of that.
It's really, really great stuff.
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