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Dec. 28, 2023 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
22:03
BE YOUR OWN HERO!
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Time Text
Logic solves everything.
Logic solves everything.
I'll give you an example.
I'll give you an example.
I don't know if I'm going to release this one.
So, on Christmas, I got an email, which was a total emergency, and I won't get into the details of the emergency.
I didn't particularly want to do a call-in on Christmas, but...
Sometimes, in a sense, the beeper goes off and you're on call, right?
So I only had a short amount of time.
I had about an hour before I was due somewhere.
So I had a call with a woman, and she was in real estate, and some very bad stuff was going down and all of that.
Anyway, I'll give you an example, because I don't know if the call's ever going to go out.
Probably not. But I will give you the speech I gave her.
Because she said she had such trouble loving herself.
And this is an important message, so I'll rescue it from the rubble of that call.
She said she had self-destructive thoughts.
She said that she...
Anyway, I won't get into this.
She had self-destructive thoughts and so on and couldn't love herself.
And she had it rough as a kid.
Obviously, we all understand that, right?
So, this is what I said to her, and this is the salvation and solving of logic.
And you've got to think about this yourself.
You have to. You must.
I don't give orders, but you must.
And what I said was this.
I said, look, If you saw a movie or when you see a movie where someone is treated very unjustly and harshly and they fight their way to freedom and to a good relationship and being a good parent Would you not have admiration for that person when you see a superhero movie and the superhero overcomes odds and takes down the bad guy and celebrates and makes the world a better place and is a good person and maintains his integrity?
Don't you admire that story and that person?
Don't you admire those who overcome enormous odds to produce goodness, depth, tenderness, and virtue, and courage, and strength in the world?
Don't you admire fictional characters like that?
Of course you do. Of course you do.
Now, suppose It was not a fictional movie, not a superhero movie, not a astronauts blowing up asteroids movie.
Let's say it was not a fictional movie, it was a documentary.
That it was a documentary about someone who overcame great obstacles to keep their soul, maintain virtue and produce love in the world.
Would you not have admiration for that?
Even more so than a fictional character because the fictional character is all made up.
The circumstances are all made up.
But you've got someone who actually does great good in the world, unjustly persecuted, overcomes great odds, continues to do good in the world, brings love, peace, happiness and joy to the world with the attendant troubles and all of that that come with all of that.
But would you not admire if it was not fiction but a documentary?
There's two more stages to go.
What if that documentary was about a child, unjustly persecuted, abused, neglected, beaten, who nevertheless dug himself or herself out of the rubble and violence and blood-stained dungeons of abuse, rose to become a loving partner, a good parent, and so on, and so on?
Would you not have even more intense admiration If that was a documentary about a child who'd achieved great virtues despite being brutally abused.
Now, what if that documentary about that brave and noble child who survived persecution and managed to thrive and flourish with all the attended difficulties that come from having been persecuted as a child Still manage to achieve virtue, peace and love as an adult and spread virtue, peace and love in the world.
If that documentary child, if that documentary child was you, if that documentary about a heroic child Who survived everything, flourished and found and promulgated virtue in the world.
If that heroic child was not fictional, was not an adult, was not someone else, but was you.
Now you think of the language you use about yourself.
You think of the times you call yourself stupid or lazy or unlovable or hateful or mean.
You think of the language you use about yourself.
And I want you to understand how horribly unjust you're being.
This is a moral thing to not abuse yourself.
So if there was some political prisoner who was unjustly imprisoned, tortured for years, escaped, and led people to peace, love, and virtue, despite the horrors of his unjust imprisonment, would you say, guy's a total asshole, he should absolutely be back at that prison?
What a jerk! What a lazy, smug, entitled son of a...
Well, you wouldn't say that, would you?
You'd be like, admiration.
Admiration for that guy.
Wow. If there was some kid who was kidnapped, beaten, tortured, or managed to escape, Get to freedom and then led anti-child trafficking, anti-kidnapping movements that saved tens of thousands of children and then became a good father himself and a loving husband.
Would you not say, God, that's incredible!
How admirable that is!
My heart is a supernova of flame-like, eyebrow-curling admiration for the courage, strength, nobility, integrity, And intensity of that child.
I mean, surely you wouldn't say that kid should be boxed up and sent back to his kidnappers.
What a smug jerk of a kid.
Is there any word that you would say that would be negative against that heroic child who was abused, tortured, neglected, indoctrinated, and still managed to get free and be good?
If you were watching that documentary and some friend of yours who was watching the documentary said, that kid's a total jerk.
He should be back with his kidnappers.
He was better off there. Kid's just smug and entitled.
Oh, look, he's Owen Sook. Would you not look at that person like, holy crap!
What a twisted perspective that is!
What is wrong with you?
Right.
You see where I'm at here, right?
If you speak negatively about the heroics of strength and virtue that got you here to
this conversation tonight, here, today, 2023.
you you
If you speak negatively about the heroics that had you survive, I'm not saying I would jail you for slanderer, but I'd be tempted.
But I'd be tempted.
You better not dare insult the heroism that got you here.
you You had to submit to verbal abuse as a child.
Don't you dare inflict it on yourself as an adult.
Don't you dare. Don't you think about it.
Don't you do it.
You get away from the torture chamber.
You don't heat up hot irons for yourself, do you?
Don't do it. Have the strength to be admirable to yourself.
You are admirable. Why?
Because you're here. Do you see what I'm saying?
You are intensely admirable because you're here.
You're talking about philosophy in the collapsing universe of anti-reason that beats down our doors with the battering rams of hostility to empiricism every day.
You made it. You made it out.
You picked the lock. You snuck past the prison guards.
And, and, you're also helping other people break out simply by being philosophical, being
rational, being empirical.
Don't you dare.
Insult the hero and the heroine of the documentary of your life.
you You are a greater hero than Superman, a greater hero than Batman, a greater hero than whatever the hell Spider-Man is, because I don't know, that's just bizarre to me.
But if you would not withhold your praise from a hero you saw fictionalized on a screen with CGI and a bodysuit, how dare you withhold admiration for your own heroism in getting here?
You know, I'm really, really impressed by guys hanging on wires who fly over CGI landscapes.
But boy, I'm going to just be down on myself for surviving actual years of child abuse and neglect and coming out of it with my heart, soul, and virtue intact.
My heart swells with joy when I see Spider-Man conquer a guy with eight metallic arms.
But I'm going to put myself down for surviving two decades of child abuse and coming out with my heart intact.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
If you would hate that behavior in someone else, don't you dare do it yourself.
If you would hate someone who saw a documentary on a child who survived relentless abuse and said, What a little asshole!
He should go back and be abused more.
He's a jerk. He's selfish.
He's mean. He's vicious.
He's cruel. He's cold. If you were watching a documentary about a kid who survived unbelievable levels of child abuse, And someone around said scathing words about that heroic child and you would be like, oh my god, that's monstrous!
Don't be that monster!
Don't be that monster who slanders a heroic child who got you to shore!
Don't you dare!
Don't you dare take over!
The cruelty that your child got you out of.
Don't you dare take over the punching fist of the abusive parents, when your child almost
sacrificed his soul to get you to freedom.
Don't you dare get the benefit of being pulled out of the torture chamber by a ferociously
virtuous and innocent child, and then start wiring together and hooking up your own electrodes,
your own iron maidens, your own...
your own hot pincers and thumbscrews.
Don't you dare. You honor the sacrifice of getting out.
You honor the heroism of getting out.
You look at the documentary of your life with heavy metal, tear-stained admiration and gratitude and relief.
Enjoy. As if to say, says someone, oh, you're too good to take a little discipline.
Yeah, evil, pure evil.
That is to say that you are a different species and an opposite alien to the virtuous who walk among us.
You cannot possibly say, I would admire this in anyone else, but I condemn it in myself.
So back to our good friend here who says, I often think about inflicting emotional cruelty on my parents.
I've been no contact for the last about eight months.
Is there a simple reason for this?
That you are being punished by your inner parents.
you For getting free of their abuse.
It's a remote control torture device called excessive empathy and hypocritical regret.
So if you want the cure, the cure is to think of a friend of yours.
Think of a friend of yours who comes to you with the story of your childhood.
And says, I feel guilty for inflicting any suffering on those who cruelly abused me as a child.
What would you say to him?
Don't get lost in your own head.
Objectivity and reason and universality and philosophy is your salvation.
It is your salvation.
It is what ends the endless eclipse of overcomplicated hypocrisy with which we continue to torture ourselves.
If someone came to me, You say.
Someone came to me, not me, Steph.
You, you. Someone came to you and gave the story of your childhood as if it was theirs and said, Well, I feel guilty for not being in contact with those who relentlessly abuse me.
What would you say? Are you crazy?
No, you're not crazy.
Of course you're not crazy.
I get that.
You're not crazy, but this perspective is crazy, and it's crazy because it comes from
your parents and not from you.
I don't want to overstate the case.
you I don't want to overstate the case.
But if someone gave you the story of your childhood back to you and then said, but I gotta call my parents, I mean, they feel bad.
Here's the thing. I'm not happy that my mother is suffering, but I reserve my sympathy for those who mostly destroyed only themselves.
I'm not happy my mother is suffering, but I reserve my sympathy for those who mostly only destroyed themselves.
Now my mother has been destructive to many people in her life and therefore I cannot have sympathy for her because that would be to ignore the harm she's done to others.
There are a lot of people that my mother would need to ask forgiveness from.
I can't forgive her on their behalf.
If someone has only harmed himself So if there's some guy who's really sick in his 40s because he's obese, right?
Okay, I think that's bad.
I have some sympathy and, you know, some understanding about how that might have come about.
But if he's also force-fed his children to the point where they're dangerously ill, that's a different matter.
I have some sympathy for those who've only harmed themselves.
I give no sympathy to those who've harmed others, and in particular, I give no sympathy to those who've harmed children.
Am I happy my mother's suffering?
Of course not. I would rather she had been a good mother and wouldn't suffer, and I would rather she was around to help me with my family.
I would rather she had a warm and wonderful relationship with her granddaughter.
I would much rather all of that.
Sure, absolutely. Yeah, but that's not my choice.
It's not just my option. I can't control that.
I can't make that happen. I can't change time.
I recognize the basic fact that time is linear and one-directional.
We know there's no time travel because no one's coming back to greet us.
Also, if you go back five years, you just end up in an empty space, because the planet
is long gone, and its corkscrews spiral around the galaxy!
That's the heroism that you manifest.
Or be cursed forever, unjustly.
you you
What I said to her that I want to share with you, again, because the show will probably never be released, I want to share with her What I shared with her that I want to share with you, and this is really the most foundational thing that I can say on this or any other day.
This is the most foundational thing that I can say.
And I could feel her goosebumps when I said it, so be prepared.
I said you need to look at yourself no longer parentally but rather
philosophically.
you No longer abusively, but rather morally.
You need to judge yourself according to ethics, not according to abusers.
You must judge yourself according to the universal standards of ethics.
Not according to the sadistic inflictions of abusers.
Can you imagine if I judged myself according to the endless abusive language of those who condemn me unjustly that floats around in the world?
I judge myself according to objective values, not subjective hatred.
I will not define myself By the feral hatred of dysfunctional people.
I judge myself by UPB. I judge myself by philosophy.
I judge myself by virtue and universal ethics.
I do not ever eclipse the sunlight of the reason I follow with the occluding, vile, vicious obsidian hatred of those who are only motivated by virulence.
Can you imagine? If I judge myself according to my mother's standards or my father's standards or Wikipedia's standards, if I judge myself according to those, I don't know what it would be.
I can't even imagine what that would be like.
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