Dec. 15, 2023 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
02:20:39
5334 WHEN APOLOGIES MEAN NOTHING! Freedomain Livestream
29 November 2023 LivestreamImagine that you're a strong swimmer, suddenly caught in a riptide! A lifeguard spots you, giving you a "thumbs up" from his chair, but does not help you. You get to shore, eventually, and then...Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!Get my new series on the Truth About the French Revolution, access to the audiobook for my new book 'Peaceful Parenting,' StefBOT-AI, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and more!See you soon!https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022
I'm here for you, and if there's something you want to talk about, I'm all ears.
I have something that I can certainly talk about.
I have something which is pretty deep and passionate and powerful.
I did a first draft of it just in answering locals' questions today, so I'm happy to release that.
Or you can hear, I guess, both versions if you guys... Let me read what I'm responding to, and then you can tell me.
Somebody wrote, after hearing a great show with Izzy, a question popped into my head.
Whenever you have a great time with your daughter, do you ever feel sorry for your parents for completely missing out on this?
Do you ever stop and wonder, wow, you guys really effed it up and lost one of the greatest relationships you could have ever had?
I sometimes have that thought when going through great moments with my sons, and I feel a little bit sad for the fact that my parents had an amazing kid on their hands, me, and chose to throw it all away on the altar of violence, addiction, and depression.
You guys ever have this sentimentality for people who've done you wrong?
It's a kind of love your enemies thing?
Have you ever had that?
Because, yeah, I want to deal with things that are vivid and impactful to you as the most glorious audience in the history of the internet, and the history that the internet will ever have, because everything after this gets to reference this.
First time catching you live!
Brings a smile to your face.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
It's my pleasure.
Thank you so much for dropping by.
I appreciate your support.
You can, of course, tip me here.
You know, maybe let me sweat and earn it a little bit first, if you like.
You can tip me ahead of time, knowing that I'm going to produce great stuff.
Or, of course, if you're listening to this later, freedomain.com slash donate.
Polaris says, yes, I'm an amazing parent.
My parents were awful.
Awful.
I'm sorry to hear that.
I really am.
Is this, hit me with a why, if this question about sentimentality to evildoers is something that you struggle with.
Hit me with a why, if this is something that would be of value to you, otherwise I'm very happy to talk about anything else that is on your mind.
Definitely you've had this notion.
Right.
Would you like to know
How to, I think, most rationally deal with this emotion.
You take care of your father anyway?
If you could do me a favor, and I appreciate your support, but tips of a dollar end up with, you know, I've got to track it and report on it and all of that, and I give up a fair amount in fees, so if you're down to your last dollar, please don't send it to me.
Keep it for yourself.
I would really, really appreciate that.
All right.
Thank you.
Sammamamami.
I really, really appreciate that.
All right.
Get ready to unpack.
Hit me with R if you'd like the reasoning or S if you would like the story.
Narrative?
I mean, I can do both.
Which do you want first, the reasoning or the analogy, the story?
The fable.
The fiction that bears within it.
The great curly headed birthstone of truth.
Reason, reason, S-S-S.
Oh, we got some snakes!
Trust in me, trust in me.
Okay, so, I'll do the story.
Right.
Have you ever been in danger in the sea?
Have you ever been in danger in the sea?
Struggling with a riptide, sudden storm, swimming, cold, cramps, strange shadow you hope is a dolphin swimming underneath, something like that.
Have you ever been in trouble, like the sailor who fell from grace with the sea?
I certainly have.
A number of times.
I won't get into the details.
Just typical stuff.
A couple of cramps.
Shadows under me, which fortunately turned out to be dolphins, not sharks.
Trapped... snorkeling trapped in an old ship.
It's hard to get out.
And yeah, so I've been in danger.
Now... I want you to picture something.
You're swimming.
You're a strong swimmer.
But a really chilly riptide hits you and then you get stung by a jellyfish.
Not some death rope man-of-war stuff, but just something that causes problems, cramps, pain.
And you suddenly realize, you know, life can change like this.
We're like, dum-dee-dum, it's a lovely day for a swim.
Oh my god, I'm gonna die in 30 seconds.
Now, there is a lifeguard.
You can see him, his chair, his dot, people on the beach, there's a lifeguard who's, you know, he's got his binoculars out, Roy Scheider style, he's scanning the horizon, and you're like, cramp, riptide, jellyfish, whatever you can scream.
And he just, you can see him giving you the thumbs up.
He takes out his cell phone, he starts filming you.
And you're like, what the living F is going on here?
Lifeguard.
One job.
Rescue people in trouble.
Me.
Person in trouble.
Lifeguard.
Thumbs up.
Filming.
And you realize, like, you're on your own, man.
Like, you're gonna just have to do it yourself.
And you try—you can't swim while massaging your cramped muscles.
You gotta get yourself out of the cold blast and the riptide that's pulling you further out.
So you gotta go with the riptide, because you know if you swim against the riptide, you're gonna tire yourself out.
And you hope that the riptide isn't going to push you into another forest of finding Nemo-style jellyfish death sting heads.
And long story short, you battle for like 45 minutes, which doesn't seem that long.
But man, if you're in cold water struggling to stay afloat, that's a long ass time.
And you finally get to the shore.
And you realize that the
The lifeguard.
And the people on the beach are just kind of laughing at you.
Like, bro, that was wild, man.
Thought they had you.
And he's filming you.
I'm live streaming, man.
People are like, they were cheering you on.
It was cool.
And you're like literally coughing up blood.
You got seawater behind your eyeballs.
Your muscles are cramped, trembling.
You can see the twitching of the muscles under your skin.
You barely made it.
And you just lie there shaking and trembling, coughing up seawater, half dead.
Then eventually you drag yourself up off the beach.
And there's a beach hospital there.
You stagger in.
You're in bed for two days.
They rehydrate you, give you saline, whatever they do.
And you've survived.
Now, two weeks later, you're in the same town.
Two weeks later, you're having lunch.
And you're reading the story about how a lifeguard filmed somebody almost drowning, and that lifeguard is being hailed as a contemptuous, post-and-career-and-life-abandoning, wretched, shallow, social-media-addicted coward from hell.
Like, his reputation is wrecked and destroyed, he's gonna get fired, he could get criminal charges of negligence, he's just...
You're reading this at a cafe two weeks after this, and a guy comes running up to you, bumps into the table.
He's bawling.
It's the lifeguard.
He's bawling.
He's screaming.
He's crying.
Man, I want to help you.
What can I do to help?
I just, I need to help you.
What can I do?
Well, what can I do?
Do you want another napkin?
Can I, can I?
Can I change your knife and fork?
It looks a little spotty.
I need to help you, man.
And then the guy gets taken out by security or the restaurateur or something.
And then you find out later that he did get fired and people are looking at him with some contempt and he didn't end up getting criminally charged or anything like that but, you know, he's kind of known as the beach coward, the sand-based scaredy cat or whatever, right?
Now, you almost died as a result of this guy laughing and filming when it was his job to protect you.
Would you sit there and say, oh man,
I feel so sorry for that guy.
I mean, he could have been kind of a hero.
He could have, you know, he could have come out there and saved me.
He didn't have to, like, he could have waited till I was out of the way of the jellyfish.
You know, I mean, getting out of the riptide was only half the journey.
He could have come and helped me in, and he would have been filmed, and been a hero, and, you know, I would have had a friend for life, and... I mean, what a shame.
What a sad, sad shame.
And the guy keeps phoning you and harassing you, man.
I need you to put out a public statement that I couldn't have helped you.
I couldn't have saved you, man.
I need you to backtrack.
You know, I need you to forgive me.
I need you to do things for me, man.
My life is falling apart.
People are treating me like shit.
How sorry for him are you going to feel?
He won't admit he did anything wrong.
He just needs you to say something so that he faces fewer consequences for his bad actions.
I want you to answer me something.
Please.
If I almost died, his reputation can die.
Well, he's asking you to falsify your experience and forgive him for something he's... Like, what's the only reason he's asking for forgiveness?
It's because he's in trouble.
His life is negative.
He has a problem now.
You almost dying and him laughing about it.
He hasn't learned anything.
He just wants you to fix his problem that he created by almost killing you.
And if you later found out that somebody else was filming that lifeguard on the beach and other people wanted to come in and save you, he was like, no, no, no, no, I got it.
Stand back.
I'm the professional.
I know where the riptides are.
I know where the sandbars are.
I know where the jellyfish are.
Just wait.
And he kept everyone back from helping you and saving you while continuing to film you.
And then he was like, psych, I'm just kidding.
I'm not going to go save him.
Right?
All right.
Let me ask you this.
If you, let's say you have an abusive parent, and you separate from that abusive parent, do you believe that the abuse is now over?
It's all done.
It's all gone and in the past.
It could be a parent, it could be a
I mean, parents, the most obvious, because you don't choose to have them in your life to begin with, but it could be a business colleague, it could be a boyfriend, girlfriend, or whatever, right?
When you separate from an abusive relationship, is the abuse over?
Is it all done?
This is me starting to make the reasoning case after the analogy.
Because the analogy is not a proof, it's an illustration.
Not if you're required to conceal the truth to absolve them of consequences.
Well, no, if you've separated, then you are no longer required to conceal the truth.
Okay, so if you say that the abuse is not over when you separate from an abuser,
Why is the... I mean, active abuse.
I don't mean the effects of abuse.
I mean, because that can't be undone.
I don't mean the effects of abuse.
I mean, active abuse.
Is the active abuse done?
No, they're in your head.
No, based upon their actions.
All based on their actions.
Not in your head.
And not the effects.
Act is done, Paula?
Okay.
It's in the past, it's done.
Sorry, this is gonna hurt a little, and it's early in the day to be hurt a little.
But, you know, it's the kind of hurt that heals, I think.
It's not done.
It's not done.
Even if you've 100% separated, everyone who's done you wrong
Who refuses to take responsibility, continues to abuse you.
Are they still unrepentant?
You guys are smart enough to stay with the analogy.
If they were truly repentant, you probably wouldn't have separated from them.
Have they apologized, admitted fault?
Well, no, you've separated from them.
If somebody has done you great harm, and refuses to take responsibility, every day they refuse to take responsibility, they don't apologize, make amends, restitution, whatever they need to do, they are continuing to abuse you.
Because you have to wrestle with it alone and they won't take responsibility.
So you have to manage all of that in your head.
They're putting additional burdens, time, energy, emotional resources, drainage, everything is on you.
If you've been in a situation, I don't know if you have, you can tell me if you have, if you've been in a situation, have you been in a situation sort of yes or no, where somebody who's done you great wrong has genuinely taken responsibility and apologized, genuinely taken responsibility and apologized.
Then, as it is my case, they cut me off when I held them to account.
I've had it in a minor way.
My father, on a bus to Montreal, once many, many, many years ago, decades ago, he told me that when I went to visit him in my mid-teens in Africa, and he really didn't talk to me, that it was because he was depressed.
So, that gave me some relief.
It really did give me some relief.
Because of course, you know, if your father's not taking any interest in you, of course it's easy to think that you're boring, under-stimulating, he's got great thoughts that are elsewhere, he just can't rouse himself to focus on your petty concerns, or whatever it is, right?
But he told me, he was very honest, and he's like, it was because I was depressed.
I was really depressed.
Now that was nice!
That was a positive.
And that's the only time that I can think of where somebody had done me wrong, like invite me over for months and then ignore me, for the most part.
Somebody did me wrong, and took ownership, and it wasn't quite an apology, but at least there was a reason.
And it wasn't me.
Does that make sense?
It wasn't me.
So... Children always blame themselves.
Always.
Children always blame themselves.
Because it's the only thing they can control.
It's their own self-thoughts.
They can't control the actions of parents.
I mean, if the parents are unreasonable.
So children always blame themselves.
So every parent that doesn't take responsibility is leaving the child to wrestle with self-blame forever and ever.
Amen.
I wouldn't have guessed your example would have been one of your parents.
You know, again, it wasn't bad.
He never asked me how it affected me.
He never talked about anything else that was wrong.
He just unburdened himself for like the three hour journey from Toronto to Montreal.
He just unburdened himself.
Was it three or six?
No, it was six hours, sorry, six hour journey.
So he just, he unburdened himself, it still didn't have anything to do with me, and he didn't ask me what my experience was or anything else about that, but you know, he did, and it was a decent thing to do.
I mean, again, I don't think it was out of any particular empathy for me, but it was a decent thing to do, and I appreciated that he did it.
I did.
So, you see, if somebody who did you wrong, when you were the genuine victim, if someone who did you wrong is not taking responsibility, they're continuing to burden you.
Right?
If my parents had taken responsibility for the wrongs that they did, then I wouldn't have had to spend thousands of hours and tens of thousands of dollars in therapy.
You had a similar journey from Ottawa to Montreal with your mother?
Sadly, it didn't end well.
I don't know what it is with buses.
It's like it's the modern confessional or something like that.
I don't know.
There was a time that was actually pretty nice going from Toronto to Montreal because it was actually cheaper to take the train than the bus and the train is pretty nice because there was student discounts or something like that.
So.
They can lift that burden from you at any time.
If they don't lift that burden from you, they're continuing to harm you.
If that makes sense.
Tell me if this makes sense to you.
I'm not saying it's the absolute truth based on your experience, I'm just saying if the argument as a whole makes sense or you follow.
Following doesn't mean you agree.
Makes tons of sense.
Alright.
We're not there yet.
Alright, so!
You, I hope you understand, or let me make the case, sorry, I hope you understand it's kind of condescending and annoying.
Sorry about that.
So, Winnipeg.
Oh, I spent six ugly months in Winnipeg one weekend.
The reason I'm saying after you get to shore and two weeks later, the person apologizes.
So after you have dealt with your childhood, and for me, this was about a quarter century ago, 25 years ago or so, when I did years of therapy, three hours a week, I did 10 to 12 hours a week of journaling and wrote stories and just really spent, I mean, two years really, almost, really, really focusing on this stuff, which was great.
Tough as hell, but great.
Now after that, so after you, that was me getting to shore, right?
So after you get to shore,
Like, there's an old joke about bankers, right?
That bankers will completely ignore you when you're struggling in the waves, but after you get to shore, they'll bury you in life jackets, right?
They won't lend you money when you desperately need it because you're too high risk, but once you already have money, they'll offer to lend it to you when you don't need it anymore.
It's kind of an old joke about bankers, which I kind of understand, but when you see someone get into shore and you don't help them after they get to shore, your help, right?
This is the
The disgraced, quote, lifeguard in the cafe who's tackling you and demanding that you help him.
After you get to shore, the apologies become annoying.
James says, uh, within a 12-hour car ride with my father in my early 20s, going to a new college, we didn't talk about anything.
Can't say he didn't have the chance.
Yeah.
And people, every parent, I'm telling you this as a parent, every parent, I can tell you about one of my annoying little bad habits if you're at all interested.
It's really pathetic, I gotta tell you, it's embarrassing, and I'm fairly good with this kind of stuff and fairly self-accepting, but I have a bad habit that I just apologized to my family yesterday for.
I don't know.
Probably you don't care.
Doesn't matter.
I don't need to unburden myself on you all.
You're all dealing with your own ghosts and histories.
I mean, nobody wants to hear about this, do they?
Thank you, Polaris.
I appreciate your help.
Yes?
Do we all have them?
Alright.
So, if I have to wait unjustly for 10 minutes, I will claim it's 15 minutes.
I've been waiting for 15 minutes.
It's really sad, it's really pitiful, and I'm working on it.
It's not a huge issue because it doesn't come up more than a couple of times a year, but if I just mentally scale up the time that I've been waiting so that I feel more justified in being annoyed.
I'm not saying I'm proud of it.
I'm not saying it's some elevated thing.
It's not even a big thing.
Again, it's not very common, but you know, it's still, it's still important.
It's Steph rounding.
Come on, man.
It's just math.
I mean, if you've got 51.5 minutes, you have to round it up to something.
So that's 20.
It's really, um, so yeah, I had to say, yeah, you know what?
You know, if like I'm waiting in the dentist and it's 25 minutes, I've been waiting for half an hour.
Because, you know, half an hour just feels more justified, doesn't it?
Doesn't it?
So, again, I'm not... it's nothing elevated, it's nothing catastrophic, but it's a little kind of... just a little pettiness, a little sort of brain wrinkle that... whatever, right?
So, rather than say the actual time to myself, and thus cool my jets, I increase the time to match my jets.
20 minutes?
That might as well be half an hour!
The time that I had to wake.
The time that I had to wait.
The geological epoch of waiting.
And, uh, you know, I remember.
The beginning of this waiting journey.
When I and my fellow apes were dancing and shrieking around a giant obelisk in the middle of the desert.
Yes, I remember it well before I evolved into my current incarnation over these many generations of waiting.
Or, as it's otherwise known,
Eight to nine minutes.
No, see, that's a sad thing.
I don't need to inflate in time.
If it's bad weather, I don't need to inflate because I already have the weather as the explanation as to why my annoyance is there.
And honestly, I'm not a particularly annoyance-based guy.
That's just, you know, I think everyone has these little wrinkles or whatever, right?
Well, I never said it was half hour in Earth time.
I could be talking about... Mercury.
Well, I like to see that there's a lot of mockery of my pettiness here.
Now I have another one!
I get enraged when people mock my pettiness!
Oh, okay.
I don't even know if I want to dignify this mockery with any reading.
Okay, I'm gonna read that because it's actually pretty funny.
Yeah, Steph Rounding, of course.
I didn't go to the DMV the other day.
20?
That might as well be half an hour!
It's basically taxation, yes.
A half an hour?
A full hour?
It's already half past!
Oh, good one.
Okay, 27 minutes is okay to be catbaiting, but 27 minutes and 30 seconds, Kyra says, the Staphocene period has come and gone.
Right.
I will tell you deeply and humbly that I
I completely and totally deserve all of that mockery.
It's beyond fair.
In fact, I'm surprised at how much lube and gentleness there is in this exam of the prostate mockery that is in my innards.
That is gentler than I was expecting, friends.
And yes, it's a thing.
It's just one of my kind of things, right?
My other one is that my wife makes wonderful meals, but I always have to go and get my own drink.
I don't know.
It's just some block.
So what I do, of course, is sometimes I'll crawl to the kitchen, sometimes I'll give the old man slow shuffles, sometimes I'll cough like I'm expiring from dehydration.
I'm a make-a-big-production kind of guy.
This studio is kind of minimalistic, but in any complaints that I have in life, I make a big giant production, and the death scene sometimes can last for three and a half days.
It's like one of Hamlet's speeches.
I try to make my point in an entertaining fashion, and everybody laughs.
They just laugh.
Uh, my husband does something like that, but it's exaggerating time between meals.
Yes, yes, I have, I have been there.
Lo, we have been wandering the desert, eating only toenails and sand these many moons.
While we wait for the mirage of wifely meals to appear on the table, slowly we doth expire under the blinding sun and the shadow of the dead camel.
Yes, we've already been there.
We've already been there.
I thought you didn't like Rush.
I thought you didn't like Rush.
Can't get there.
You'll have to explain the joke.
Sorry, I know it's way funner if you don't, but I still can't get there.
My apologies.
Yes, now it's very, very important, and heaven forbid the bath that is run for me is not the right temperature, his majesty doth either shriek like a lobster or shriek like a frozen lobster.
It is really, really quite sad.
Anyway, it's mostly a running gag, which is kind of fun, right?
I used to ride a bus with a friend of mine, and we rode past a place called New World Kitchens.
It's called New World Kitchens, and you'd almost say, It's a New World Kitchen!
Because it's like a New World Man from Rush.
Anyway.
Some jokes never get old.
Some jokes are born Benjamin Button-style old and never get young again.
Let's see here.
Diagnosed ADD.
Patience is a virtue I lack in sufficient quantity.
Yet my job is waiting for something to happen in case I have to do something.
You know, if you're waiting for the waiter, you've actually become the waiter.
Should we return back from the detour into Steph's land of infinite pettiness, and should we return to the main general Amazonian thread of the conversation?
Personally,
It's not medical advice, no medical evaluation.
Personally, when somebody says, I've been diagnosed ADD.
Well, what's everyone else's experience when the first thing that somebody says is diagnosed ADD?
We were just about to rejoin the Amazon, but there's another tributary that has my blood scent, Bloodhound.
Hoppy legs are popping.
Bit of an eye roll.
Skeptical.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
Real or not, it just strikes me as an excuse.
Strikes me as an excuse.
Well, I could concentrate, but I have this diagnosis.
Thank you, Coda!
Hey, StefaFan, the recent call-in's very insightful.
As always, very grateful to you for these.
I've also donated to freedomain.com slash donate.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Look, the moment there's a blood test, I'm in, man.
The moment there's any kind of empirical test... Uh, it's correcting brain chemistry.
Oh, really?
Can you show me where the brain chemistry is askew?
The moment there's any kind of biological test, I'm down.
Until then, I reserve judgment.
I'm just straight up as far as facts go.
I'm just straight up as far as... It's just my experience, my thoughts, whatever, whatever, right?
So... Alright, so let's get back to it.
ADD, or Raised By Women.
Isn't that what ADD is?
In my particular, humble, completely amateur, non-medical, non-scientific opinion, ADD is, I'm a young man, raised by a single mother, and a lot of women.
We need this bluntness.
It's painful, but we need to do better ourselves.
Gabbermind, oh sorry, Gabbermind.
Gambling Mind, Galloping Mind, Gabbermite, has a book called Scattered Minds about how it's from trauma.
Yeah, it could be.
It could be.
And a lot of public school.
Diagnosed handsome and irresistible.
Hey, self-diagnosis is your entire personality.
Your insight to Charlie Munger helps me understand why people hiding behind shortcomings is annoying.
Raised by screens.
Bored is always the responsibility of adults.
What's wrong with boredom?
What if your friend diagnoses you?
Most of my friends think I have mild autism.
Neurodivergent!
Neurodivergent from what?
From what?
That's my question.
From the norm these days?
Oh god.
The norm these days is entirely neurodivergent from the past.
Alright, let's return to our
Journey, our much-butterflied journey down the Amazon.
Alright.
When people offer to lift a burden you've already disposed of, isn't it kind of annoying?
If you've just done some brutal move on your own, you gotta do your cabinets, and you just, you busted your back, and your knees hurt, and your hands are blistered, and you're like, ugh, God, and then your friends are like, hey man, love to help you move, and they already know.
That you've moved.
Isn't that just kind of annoying?
Like they're trying to get the benefit of offering to help when the time for help has come and gone.
Does that make sense?
People offering to help you after the fact?
Like this is all the people who call me up and it's like, you know, that woman who called me, uh, and it's like, yeah, the guy who told me not to marry, I married him and it's a disaster.
Can you help?
It's like, I tried.
Oh, do you have people like that in your life?
You have people like that in your life?
Yeah, I mean, it's annoying, right?
So, if people have harmed you, there is a ticking timer.
So there was an old show called Scrubs that was pretty funny.
And in it, there was a guy, he kissed a girl, and then a counter to, you either gotta kiss him again or you go to the friend zone, right?
And there was a counter in the bottom screen and he had like, you know, whatever it is, a sitcom, 22 minutes or half an hour or whatever, right?
And he kissed her and it's like countdown to the friend zone.
If you don't kiss her within this time frame, you get stuck in the friend zone.
Otherwise you might have a chance to become her boyfriend, right?
So in life, please, God above, I'm begging everyone.
Ooh, should I swear?
Oh, I don't know.
It's middle of the day.
It's the middle of the day, and of course this is playing in countless kindergartens across the world.
No, it's not, of course, but... No, I probably shouldn't.
It's almost two.
Well, I'll just pretend I'm in Australia, where...
It's not 2 p.m.
in the afternoon, and everyone swears anyway, including the toddlers.
Oh, time for some fucking breast milk, mom!
Anyway, um... So... Evening in Europe, too.
And in the arc of Europe's history, it is evening in Europe as well.
Put your sailor suit on?
How about I put my sailor moon suit- Oh wait, sailor moon suit?
That's for the OnlyFans channel.
You know, one of my life goals, one of my bucket lists is actually get banned from OnlyFans.
That would be, wouldn't that be like delightful in its own sweet deep way?
So... Oh what the hell?
Oh yes!
Put your fucking timers on.
Put your timers on.
How often do we put something out there and there's no timer?
So for me, once I'm like...
Fuck it, I'm gonna walk.
Right?
And you walk for five hours, and then your friend finally pulls up in his car and says, oh yeah, sorry man, I lost track of time.
And you're already home, and it's like, I just walked for five hours, in the blinding heat, my feet are killing me.
There's no point showing up now.
Like, get the timers on your life, go!
Get your timing going, get your timing going.
Somebody wrongs you, you tell them, timer, boom, timer, don't just leave it out there.
You know, you throw the boomerang into the fog, and it doesn't come back after ten minutes.
You didn't throw that hard, it's not coming back.
You follow?
Put the timers on with people.
Otherwise, you can't ever get closure.
You just gotta put stuff out there.
Well, I told this person that I was upset about them.
I was gonna leave it with them.
And no timer.
It just kinda hangs out there.
Like you... You don't just cast your line into the water, you just throw the whole...
Rot into the water.
Like I do every time I bathe.
So... Put your timers on.
If my... I mean, if my mother were to call me up now and, oh, I'm sorry, this is... I'm 57 years old.
I'm sorry for what happened 50 years ago is one of the most annoying apologies known to man.
Like, I don't want it anymore because it would just be a hassle.
Like, any more than you want the guy, the lifeguard who betrayed you and almost got you killed to tackle you at the... cafe based on his needs.
Does that make sense?
So, I'm gonna get back to the question.
Whenever you have a great time with your daughter, do you ever feel sorry for your parents for completely missing out on this?
I don't.
I don't.
Because they continue to do me harm.
And my father is now in a position where he can't undo the harm because he's dead.
Now, are they actively doing me harm and every day... No, I'm just saying that with my mother, every day she doesn't take responsibility, call me up and apologize.
She's, in a sense, continuing the abuse.
Like, I know this sounds like, oh, active harm, active harm.
No, no, no.
Like, I dealt with all of this 25 years ago.
So that's all in the past.
I've done with it.
For them to come now, it would be because, I don't know, my mother's getting older and maybe she's feeling bad.
She's not religious, so she doesn't believe in, in hell, but maybe something's bothering her or she wants to, I mean, it certainly didn't happen with my dad, but maybe, I doubt it would happen with my mother.
But if it did, it would be about her needs, right?
Like the lifeguard who comes to you and, Hey man, my reputation's destroyed, you need to fix it.
Hey, I feel bad.
You need to fix, you need to forgive me and fix it.
So it's still all about you.
And I think it comes from a bomb in the brain planted by bad people.
When do they flip switch for you in terms of your mom apologizing?
Well, after I did therapy and after I had dealt with it all and moved on and unleashed my potential and weren't circle-draining the past sewage.
Done, moved on.
Then it just becomes an annoyance and an interruption.
Their punishment for alienating you is to miss out on being part of a wonderful family life.
Well, my friends who kind of rejected me and so on, I mean, they could have listened to me talk about Bitcoin, right?
There's costs.
No, but the punishment for alienating you, I don't care.
I don't think about, I mean, I'm just telling you my thoughts, but here's the bomb in the brain, right?
I think it's planted there by bad people.
Tell me if this little fucking demon has ever sat on your shoulder and whispered his silky, slitty, silky, slitty, sultry words into your ears.
Something like this.
You know what the, uh, hang on, lean in a little more, lean in a little more.
You know what, uh, you know what would make you look really great?
You know what would be the ultimate high status move?
You know what would make you look so mature, so cool, so with it, so together?
Do this.
I'm telling you, man, this will, high status, it'll get you chicks.
You'll be like a rock star, man.
Here's what you gotta do.
What you got to do is you got to claim.
Oh, I know it's going to sound weird.
Just, just bear with me.
Let me, let me whisper.
What you got to do is you got to claim that you feel sorry for the people who assaulted you.
That you're so mature, you've grown so much, that you now feel nothing but sympathy and sorrow for the people who did you the greatest harm.
You'll walk on water, man.
People will look at you like, wow, man, you've really got it together.
You've really outgrown this stuff.
You're no longer resentful.
You're no longer upset.
You've crossed over to a higher plane, man, to a kismet nirvana paradise of Buddhist acceptance, and now you're so lofty.
You're so lofty.
You have reached such high levels of power in virtue and empathy.
That you feel great sympathy for the harm done to those who harmed you.
Oh God.
It's giving me like a smoky demon boner just to talk about it with you, man.
Come on.
Just come down this path.
Just come down this path, man.
I'm just, I'm so sorry at everything they missed out.
I don't hate them.
I just, at this point in my life, I just, I feel sorry for them.
I think that they missed out on so much.
Yeah, I think they made some very bad decisions, but it's just, it's really more of a tragedy than anything else.
And I feel, you know, that their life has ended up in a very sad place and I wish it were different.
I can't change them, but I do, I really, I sympathize with them.
I'll donate later.
This is incredible.
Just broke me right now.
Thanks, Def.
Well,
I'm going to put you back together, if you like.
Would you like to?
I don't want to leave you broken, man.
I appreciate the donations.
I don't want to leave you broken.
At all.
You wanna get back from this?
Do I have a bat in the cave here?
I can't tell.
Sorry, I don't want to get lost in my own reflection.
Smokey Demon Boner was not on my free-to-main bingo card.
Jared!
Everything is always on your free-to-main bingo card!
Everything!
Are you gonna take me home tonight?
Alright.
Now... You want this fixed?
Do you want...
30 seconds that will cure you of this demonic infestation forever?
30 seconds, man.
I'll put... You know what?
I'm putting a counter up.
I'm putting a counter up.
I'll do it 30 seconds.
30 seconds I can cure you of this demonic whispering for the rest of time.
Do you think I can do it in 30 seconds?
Exorcism, baby!
Can I?
You'll donate if I do it in 30 seconds.
I know you will!
I'm working like a...
Kulak here.
Are you ready?
Okay, hit me with your timers.
I'm gonna do it in 30 seconds.
I might even do it in 15.
Sorry, I'm confusing you for my honeymoon.
What?
No trips through Tangent Town?
Jeff, I will find you.
I will find you and I will tangent you.
And it'll be like a game of Twister, but it won't ever end.
Alright.
Thank you, Kairos.
I appreciate that.
Are you ready?
I'm gonna aim for 15, but I'll do it in 30.
The demon to exercise is, feel sorry for those who've done you great harm on what they missed out.
Right?
Feel sorry for those who did you great harm.
No, no, no, I'll tell you when I'm starting.
Feel sorry for those who did you great harm.
Okay.
The cure starts now.
Would you ever expect a woman who'd been violently and brutally raped by a man to say, I just feel so sorry for him because I'm a great date and he just missed out on a great date.
Oh my God, I did it in less than 10.
I need a cigarette.
Oh my God.
I just have to smoke a pen.
You know, that guy who held the knife to my throat and brutally raped me and I bled for three days and, you know, he half destroyed my uterus.
You know, I just, I feel so sorry for him because he, you know, I'm a great date and he could have had a great date out of it, but he just didn't.
Oh.
That's so good, I feel.
Like, that's so good, I feel that we are all legally married in about 12 countries at the moment.
That was less than 10 seconds.
Oh, look at that.
I came in under.
Makes sense?
Would you ever?
Would you ever say that?
And if a woman did say that, would you think she was morally sane?
If a woman ever said that?
I just, you know, he brutally raped me, but what he really missed out on was a really fun date with me.
I know there's some crazy people who would do it, but that's how we would know they're crazy.
Isn't that how we would know they were crazy?
Mmm!
So good!
I got you!
Here's your gift.
There are actually Christians who would react that way, I believe.
But you wouldn't say that that's particularly morally sane, would you?
Wouldn't, I mean, this is a gut sense.
I mean, we can go through the reasoning if you want, but this is a gut sense.
This is like, if you, I hate to say, reduce it to this kind of thing, but sometimes it really does go there and get there.
Which is when somebody, if a woman were to say something like that, or a man for that matter, men get raped too, of course.
But if a woman were to say that, I just, you know, the thing I'm most unhappy about being brutally raped was my rapist missed out on a great date with me.
Doesn't that just feel... like isn't that a gut check?
Doesn't it just feel like, oh god!
Like isn't that just a recoil situation?
That is a gut check.
And sometimes, honestly, I'm telling you, sometimes the gut check is all you need.
You know, like we have a second brain down there that is really, really important and keeps us alive.
Like the fight or flight stuff sits down there, like your second brain in your gut.
There's like an equivalent number of neurotransmitters down there as parts of your brain, right?
So you've got this, this is a gut check.
And a gut check, you say, oh, but you've got to have reasons.
Now we can get into the reasons.
I understand we can get into the reasons for it and all, right?
But this is a gut check.
And I don't want you guys... Because what happens is, like, what corrupt people will do is they'll make some completely absurd argument.
You'll recoil from it.
Right?
You'll recoil from some morally insane or evil statement.
And then they'll be like, well, what's your reasoning?
And you're like, mmm... I'm gut check.
You've got reasoning, right?
They just want you to have to provide reasoning for your gut check.
But of course, if it was easy to provide reasoning for your gut check, it wouldn't be a gut check.
Like, there's no gut check that says, what's the answer to some quadratic equation?
You've got to work through that.
There's no gut check for that stuff, right?
So the gut check is precisely for the stuff that is hard to do with your conscious mind.
Does that make sense?
It's like saying, well, I need you to digest this sandwich using your neofrontal cortex, your hippocampus, and your frontal lobes.
And if you can do that, then you're a functional human being.
It's like, no, no, my gut is for digesting food, my brain is for thinking.
And when it comes to some moral situations, the gut check is really essential.
And it's like, I don't have to provide reasons, right?
Like, if you smell a lion,
Coming through the tall grass, and you're like, ooh, your hair prickles, and you're, ooh, nervous, and what's the lion gonna say?
Well, I need you to prove that there's a lion.
Why is the lion gonna say that?
So he can get close enough to rip your jugular out.
Well, you don't have proof, man!
You don't have proof.
But when it comes to your gut check, you don't need it.
Now, it's not a bad thing to do it, but it's like saying,
You can't, like it's like saying to your ancestors, you can't hunt for animals until you understand biology, physics, and geometry.
No, I really can.
In fact, if I don't hunt because I don't understand these things scientifically, you won't be around to figure them out scientifically.
There is a gut check that's really, no, no, I'm Mr. Rational Philosopher, I get all of that, I understand all of that.
But even Einstein himself wouldn't say you can't catch a frisbee if you don't understand the theory of relativity.
At the level of physics equations.
He'd say, yeah, you can throw and catch a ball.
Well, you need to know the physics equations in order to throw and catch a ball.
No, you don't.
And the only people who would say that are people who want to rip you off.
Gavin DeBacker talks about the importance of listening to your gut in The Gift of Fear.
This is great stuff.
How do I show love for the lifeguard, right?
Right.
Right.
So what's morally insane about the woman saying, I feel nothing but sympathy for the great date the guy gave up on by raping me violently?
And look, you understand, all rape is violence.
I'm talking about like a really knife to the throat, whatever it is, like the most extreme thing that you can think of.
Is this a source?
Is the source of this avoiding anger?
The source of this is continuing to be exploited.
Your parents, if you've had abusive parents and you get old and right, you have skepticism about the relationship, they can't bully you.
They can't be violent to you.
So what do they do?
They try to evoke pity in you and pity becomes the way that the channel by which they get resources from you.
Oh, I feel so sad.
They're so lonely.
They're so sad.
They're so old.
Now they're weak.
Now they're huh, right?
It's how people exploit you.
When they can't bully you, they'll turn to pity, right?
Like, the bad guy with the gun will shoot you.
If you get the gun, he'll plead for his life and, right?
Pity.
I'm sorry, just waiting for everyone to sort of catch up here.
1 to 10, how useful is it, what I'm saying?
I want to make sure I'm always anxious to be providing value to you, my beautiful friends in the realm of philosophy, is what I'm saying.
Is it providing value?
I can finish it up or we can move on to another topic, whatever you guys like or want.
This pity stuff is like them detonating a dirty bomb on your life.
You can only leave the city to avoid the poison.
Oh good, helpful?
Okay.
I'm not trying to get praise here, I just, I'm not indifferent to praise, but I want to make sure that what I'm providing is.
Avoiding anger on our part.
Yes, it is a way to avoid anger, but why do you want to avoid anger?
You want to avoid anger because it's beneficial to those who want to exploit you.
Anger is the protection against boundary violations.
Evoking pity is one of the strongest signals that someone is a sociopath.
Is that true?
I didn't know.
All right.
How do we close this off?
Oh, that's what yourself and your wife are facing with both our parents?
Now, how do you know if your pity is manipulated?
How do you know if the pity for someone is manipulated?
Yeah, unconscious mind can do the calculus.
If I had to wait on my conscious brain to figure out how to catch the ball, everyone would have gone home to dinner.
You know that the unconscious has been clocked at 6,000 times faster than the conscious mind.
Like the gut, the unconscious, in terms of evaluation, it's
Insanely fast.
It's like, uh, if you've ever, like, so way back in the day, what were these cards?
There was 3dfx, was like, Voodoo was the card.
And I remember playing the game Unreal, not even Unreal Tournament, way back playing the game with the first waterfall, playing the game Unreal.
And I couldn't get my graphics card, which was the dedicated 3dfx Voodoo graphics card to get it to work.
And then I finally did get it to work and it was like completely night and day.
There were shadows, there was volumetric shading, there was smoothness and beauty and gloriousness and so on, right?
And because it was hundreds of times faster than the CPU for processing graphics, right?
And of course this is very common.
If you ever try to run a high-end game on a business notebook, you realize just how painful it is, right?
So you understand that your GPU renders reality hundreds of times faster than your CPU and the same thing is true with your gut and danger and so on, right?
Yes, having sympathy for people who will exploit you is one of their primary methods of exploitation, right?
And I don't know if you know, if anybody has any data, I would be happy to hear, like, how much faster is a modern GPU at processing graphics than a CPU?
Like, I don't know, some i5 or i7.
How much faster is a modern graphics card at processing graphics?
I mean, I know when I produce movies, if I, for whatever reason, the use graphics acceleration is, if that's unchecked, it's quite a lot slower.
But yeah, so your gut is your, it's your GPU, your gut processing unit, right?
Cerebral, CPU, cerebral processing unit, GPU, gut processing unit.
Cerebral is great for internal calculations like Excel, and your gut is for, GPU is for rendering reality in real time, right?
If you have to render reality in real time through your CPU, through your cerebral,
Processing unit, then.
This all actually does kind of work, doesn't it?
From an analogy standpoint, if your CPU has to render reality, you'll be lagging, and you'll lose the game, and you'll get shot, and you'll die.
Whereas if your GPU has to do all of the Excel calculations, it'll be too slow.
So, your GPU renders reality in a way that actually has you survive the multi-layered combat of the online combat game known as Society.
But, right, it's a good analogy, right?
It's a good analogy.
And the way that people paralyze you is they try to get your CPU to do the work of your GPU.
I don't think it's millions of times faster.
I don't think it's that good.
I don't think it's that good, but it's way faster.
It's way faster.
And of course, modern CPUs have GPUs built into them, but minor ones, right?
Just basically for rendering Windows stuff and basic games.
But yeah, some of the fastest, um... I mean, this would be back in the day.
How much faster was... Gosh, I'm trying to remember.
This was even before... Was this a 486?
With a... 3D FX Voodoo card?
I don't know.
Anyway.
So why is it crazy for the rape victim to say that the rapist missed out on a great date?
We get that gut's, oh God, that's horrifying, right?
We recoil from that, our gut's like, danger, danger, danger, Will Robinson, but what is the moral reasoning that our gut is processing like that, right?
Like all the little hints in the grass and the smell and the, right?
All of that adds up to lion coming, right?
Now you can't identify each one of those things individually, but they add up to a sense of unease because your unconscious is noticing and processing everything, right?
Why is it crazy?
Why is it so morally corrupt for the woman or man to say that the rapist missed out on a great date?
Because they're saying that's a possibility.
They're saying that's a possibility.
That if he hadn't raped her, there could have been a great date.
But there can't be a great date.
Why?
Because he's a rapist!
Oh, Jared says about a hundred times, GPU's about a hundred times faster than a CPU.
Okay.
At graphics rendering.
Yeah, I think that makes sense.
So if you can get a hundred frames a second with a good GPU, you get one frame a second with a CPU.
It does seem low, but that's fine.
That's fine.
A hundred times is fine.
It doesn't need to be 8,000 times faster.
So,
She's saying that if he hadn't raped me, we could have had a great date.
But that's not a sane statement.
You can't have a great date with a guy who's willing to violently rape you, or wants to, or does violently rape you.
There's no backup position called, have a great date.
Does that make sense?
It's like saying the shark that rips off your leg.
It's like, well, if he hadn't ripped off my leg,
We could have had a really nice cup of tea together and discussed Federal Reserve policy.
Like, that's a shark.
You're not going to have a nice cup of tea with him and discuss Federal Reserve policy.
Because he's a shark!
Stone toss comic incoming.
That sounds like a tongue twister.
It certainly is.
What was it?
I remember when I was younger and I was in my teens and I used to start going to discos when I was sort of 15 or 16 years old and I was let in because I was good looking.
I mean, let's face it, I was good looking back then.
I mean, it's really important for me not to lie to you.
I mean, I'm obviously even better looking now because nothing says
Excellent handsomeness like the addition of four extra decades just adds up to super charming.
But I remember making out with some girl in the corner of the club when my friends were like, you know, what were you doing, man?
It's like, hey, sorry, I wasn't dancing, man.
It's a little tongue-tied.
You know, I was really, really planning for dad jokes when I was 17.
All right.
So, when people say, you know, this guy, you know, again, massive sympathy for the guy's question, right?
He says his parents were violent addicts and depressed, right?
Violent addicts and depressed.
And he says, oh, you know, my parents missed out on so much, right?
Just like
The guy who violently rapes you missed out on a great date.
It's like, there was no possibility of a great date.
Like, it's not possible because of his choices.
His experience plus his choices.
Does this make sense?
It's morally insane because she's saying that the same person can both be a violent rapist and somebody to have a great date with.
So he's saying, my parents missed out on this.
It's like, there was no chance that they could have it.
There was no chance.
There was no chance for my mother to have a great relationship with me.
Now you say, ah, but what about free will and this, that and the other?
By the time I met her, she was functionally beyond having good relationships because of her previous decisions in the same way that if somebody smoked for 40 years, they can't run a marathon and they never will.
The lungs are too damaged.
Well, isn't it?
You're taking away free will by saying that they can't run a marathon.
No, no, no.
I'm not taking away free will.
I'm accepting physical limitations based upon prior exercise of free will.
Free will is not like this lifelong thing that you get.
And here's what I'm saying about the timer.
Apologizing to people is urgent.
I feel this like if I have something that I've got to apologize for, like me exaggerating how long I had to wait, blah, blah, blah.
I'm like, I feel this kind of, it's like a tension or like there's a counter in my brain.
It's been there.
That's why when I saw this Scrubs episode with the timer, I'm like, oh my God, that's my brain.
There's a timer.
Do it!
People should be responsible for their choices.
People are capable of repentance until death.
But that's just a statement of ideology.
Sociopaths, for instance, to my understanding, I'm no psychologist, they're not capable of repentance because they don't have a conscience.
Right?
I mean, you can measure this in their brain, right?
You and I, if we see pictures of torture, we recoil, we feel horror, our blood pressure goes up, right?
Sociopaths don't.
You can see the dark spots in their brain.
They just don't have it.
And I get, so, look, you're obviously religious and I appreciate that and I respect that and I understand that and, you know, one day atheists are going to be curious about how Christians made better vax decisions than they did one day.
One day.
What did they get right, right?
So I respect that, but you have the concept of the soul in which there's an undamaged part of the personality that resides provided by God and independent of the brain.
Right?
And I appreciate that.
But empirically, you have the challenge of proving the existence of personality in the absence of the brain.
The existence of consciousness in the absence of the brain.
I mean, you just, that challenge, I, you know, God, wouldn't it be thrilling to find that out?
I am openly and eagerly awaiting the proof of such a thing, yet it has not arrived as yet.
And as a relentless empiricist and Lord knows, I have sacrificed an enormous, enormous amount for empiricism.
I have sacrificed an enormous amount for empiricism.
Even if we're going to call it the fallacy of sunk costs, I'm just not going to change now.
I saw a clip of Adam Sandler politely, flatly, quietly trying to get the stewardess to bring him a drink.
She keeps asking him to calm down.
Escalates his trying to respond still, quietly, to an air marshal being called over, asking him to calm down.
Is that not a perfect parable of society and citizens?
Well, that's from the movie with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson called Anger Management.
Somewhat funny in bits, kind of forgettable.
I think I saw it on a plane, actually.
But, yeah.
People who keep telling you to calm down do get annoying after a while, right?
So, oh sorry, I forgot to answer this.
How do you know whether your pity for somebody is being manipulated?
So, your pity for someone is being manipulated if they get angry if it doesn't work.
If they attempt to evoke pity within you, and it doesn't work, they get angry.
And that's how you know that the pity is manipulative.
Whenever you don't provide somebody what they expect, and they escalate, it means that whatever they were expecting from you was a manipulation.
Right?
You know, like the guy who's like, uh, hey, come over here, kid, I've got some candy for you.
Or, my parents told you that there's been, they're in an accident, they told me, I'm your neighbor two doors down, I told, like, he's trying to talk you into the car, and if you don't get into the car, he'll just try and grab you, right?
Because he escalates, because you're not doing what he wants.
That's how you know it's a manipulation.
Right?
Alright, um...
Principles dictate the limitations of probability and essentially zero isn't a plan at all.
Those are all words but they don't string together in my head to resemble a thought and probably because they're terms that I'm not familiar with.
Johan says, I'm always shocked by how people are making excuses for their parents even when they did the worst things.
That's annoying.
I don't mean you're annoying.
And I don't mean annoyance is implicit in everything you said.
I should say, I feel annoyance at what you're saying.
It doesn't mean you're being annoying.
But the reason that I feel annoyance for what you're saying is if you're always shocked by common human behavior, you're being superior.
Right?
Well, I'm shocked people do these crazy things.
Well, people constantly make excuses for parents when their parents do the worst things, so the question is why?
Why would you be shocked by knowledge that you repeatedly see, because shocked doesn't lead you to try and understand the behavior?
Does that make sense?
I'm always shocked by how some men throw away their peace of mind to pursue a very pretty woman.
Why would you be shocked?
It's such a common occurrence that you should try and figure it out and not just faint and be shocked, right?
And it's a form of superiority.
Like, I'm so sensible and I'm so aware that I just don't do these normal human things because I'm ubermensch, I'm superior, blah, blah, blah, right?
It's just, it's mildly annoying.
It's a bit smug to me.
I could be wrong.
I'm just telling you my sort of thoughts about it.
That when people say, well, I'm, I'm shocked at what the common herd commonly does.
It's like, then you're just claiming to be superior and you're not actually being curious about your experience of your fellow men.
Because if you understood it, if you work to understand why people make excuses for really abusive parents, you could actually help them.
Right?
You could actually help them.
As opposed to, well I'm just shocked, then you don't understand it, you can't help them.
But when you dig in to try and understand why people do things that you consider kind of nutty, well first of all you have to understand why you wouldn't.
Like, why wouldn't you go through the normal common human experience of excusing your parents?
Why?
Why not?
That may be not a good thing at all, right?
I can't believe that people get hungry.
It's like, well, you may have a problem if you're not experiencing hunger, right?
You may be like those, you know, in space, astronauts have to check themselves.
They have to go pee every two hours because they can't tell when they need to pee because there's no gravity weighing down the bladder, right?
One action is beyond redemption.
No, there are many.
A father who abandons his child at birth, for example, and wastes 25 years to get back into the life doesn't physically have 25 years left to undo it.
No, but it's 7 to 1.
Isn't this the case?
I've mentioned this before, but it's been a while.
It's 71, right?
Seven to one, sorry.
So for every bad day in a marriage or a relationship, you need seven good days just to make up for it because our brains tend to work more or focus more on bad things than good things, right?
Of course, right?
And we tend to remember the berry that made us sick rather than the other berries that didn't, right?
For obvious reasons of survival.
So if the father
Um, he's gone for 25 years and you need seven of those, right?
So he's going to have to be around for 175 years doing perfect things to make up for the first 25 years.
Nobody lives for 175 years, therefore restitution is impossible.
And of course, to father is to parent a child.
And if you are a father and you parent a child, then you are, of course, being a father.
It's not being a sperm donor, right?
Otherwise, every sperm donor could come up and claim to be somebody's father.
And get all the respect due to being a father.
So...
A father, a man who abandons his children and then comes back claiming to be a father when they're already adults is not a father.
I mean, I understood this, this sort of gut sense.
I understood this when I was a kid at the age of six.
I had to, I would get a haircut every Saturday and then I'd have to write a letter to my parents and I would write to my father, dear first name.
I would say, dear first name.
He'd say, no, no, no, he's your father.
You've got to write dear father.
I'm like, he's not my father because I never see him.
To father, to parent is not a noun, it's a verb.
To parent, to parent.
If somebody doesn't parent you, they're not a parent.
In my view, right?
Because they're not doing the job of parenting.
If they ignore you, if they abuse you, if they neglect you, if they harm you, if they just harm you, well, parenting is providing instructions on morality, reasoning, logic, relationships, life, to prepare
Your children for adulthood, that's parenting.
If you just harm them, abuse your kids, or ignore them, or hand them over to other people to raise, you're not parenting, and therefore you're not a parent.
You might be a rent payer, you might be a kind of custodian, you might be a semi-guardian, whatever, but you're not parenting.
If you're not teaching your children how to survive and succeed and flourish in life without compromising their morals, then you're not parenting.
You know, that's not a maybe, right?
That's not a maybe.
That is what parenting is.
And I know that now, because I have both been unparented and I have been a very involved father for almost 15 years now.
All right, let me get to... How can I be a better father?
I've done a lot of self-knowledge work and understand much of my past, but I still feel the anger well up, easily in certain situations with my toddler.
How do I get the known self-knowledge to propagate to my actions in the real world?
You feel the rage well up in certain situations with your toddler.
Right.
In general,
I don't know your specific situation.
Call in at freedomain.com, send an email, and we'll get into it because I'm always happy to help.
I've got an email.
I've got a call scheduled with the woman who's enraged at her toddler from time to time.
So you all have listened to these shows.
What is the primary reason for being angry at a toddler?
What is the primary reason people get angry at their toddlers?
Sorry, a lot of people typing.
I'm just gonna wait for a second here.
Why people go mad at the toddler?
Poor little innocent toddler.
Other people in their life want them to be?
Protection?
To protect them from abusers?
You guys are good.
Because they're unable to rationalize what they want.
The terrible two excuse.
Yeah, well, that's certainly the excuse.
That's not the cause, though.
That's the excuse.
So, if you imagine our evolution, right?
You're in the night, there are predators around, and you have to keep your children quiet.
And if you don't keep them quiet, they will draw the predators to you and you might die, they might die, and it will be horrible, right?
So, whatever aggression you need to apply to your toddlers to keep them quiet is less aggression than the predators will inflict upon them if the predators find you.
So, in your mind, your abusive father is around.
And you have to protect your toddler from your abusive father.
And the rage that you feel towards your toddler is the fear that your abusive father will harm him.
I mean, I experienced this with my daughter when she was very little.
I mean, as an only child, a sister out of the other, who knows exactly why, she didn't like to share.
Now, of course, when I was a kid, did you ever have this when you were a kid?
Hit me with a why if you had this as a kid.
You have to share!
If you don't share, at some point, your impatient mother or father will just yank the toy from you and hand it to the other kid and say, you have to learn how to share, dammit!
Stop being so selfish!
So we'd have other kids over.
My daughter wouldn't want to share.
And I would be like, Oh God, I'll give you candy to share.
Like, it was just, right?
School.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you have this, uh, Oh, are you chewing gum?
Did you bring enough gum for everyone?
Well, I always wanted to say back to the teacher.
He said, did you, did you bring enough gum for everyone?
It's like, did you bring any knowledge for anyone, any facts, any, uh, any interest?
Did you bring any charisma for anyone, anyone?
Now, of course, this has to do with a lack of resources.
If your parents are poor, then you don't have enough toys for everyone, and therefore you've got to share to minimize conflict and all of that.
So, the parental failure to provide resources provokes aggression against the child, right?
And, of course, the parents themselves were forced to share.
So, that was sort of my experience, and I sort of recognized that, right?
I was forced to share.
Did you bring enough entitlement for everyone to eat?
So you are angry at your toddler because you're trying to protect your toddler from the imminent rage of your father.
And remember, for most of human history, it was not possible to separate from parents.
It was not possible to create your own new community.
We just had to go in this internal blind repetition whirlpool to nothing, right?
Sorry, I'm just checking a comment here.
My mother would actually reason with me in those situations.
Her rage was reserved for when she was delusional from the exhaustion of being an uneducated single mother in her twenties.
The exhaustion of being an uneducated single mother in her twenties.
Boy, if that doesn't sound like a mealy-mouthed bunch of excuse syllables, I don't know what does.
And I respect you, I appreciate you being here, but I gotta call it as I see it.
I may be wrong.
The exhaustion of being an uneducated single mother in her twenties?
Sorry, I don't mean to laugh, but... My gosh.
That is a plea for manipulative female self-pity if ever I've heard it.
Am I wrong about this?
I mean, I'll put it out to the audience, right?
We gotta double-check, watch each other's backs.
She was exhausted from being an uneducated single mother in her twenties!
He says, I know who I'm trying to protect him from, but my body feels stuck in anger mode while I try to keep emotions under control.
But you can't keep emotions under control.
If you try to keep a fear response under control, it will escalate.
Right.
You understand if you sit there and say, Ooh, you know, I don't know if we have enough food to last the winter.
I'm going to repress and, and try and eliminate my uneasiness about not having enough food for the winter for my, me and my, my kids, my family.
Right.
My wife.
What is your anxiety going to be like, okay, I guess we'll just, we could fucking die, but that's fine.
Okay.
You don't want to be upset or concerned or nervous about whether there's going to be enough food for your children to survive the winter.
No problem.
No problem.
Ah, he says she worked 14 hours a day for minimum wage and was an alcoholic.
She would sometimes slip into rage like Kathy Bates from the movie Misery.
Sometimes four times a week minimum.
I am really sorry about that.
That is absolutely appalling.
I'm really really sorry about that.
Who raised you?
Who raised you?
She's working 14 hours a day.
Was it grandparents?
She couldn't afford nannies, I assume.
You can't keep your emotions under control.
Your emotions are trying to help you.
She did until I was 10.
I spent a lot of time alone.
What?
I don't understand.
She raised you until you were ten?
So who was paying your bills?
I'm sorry, I thought she was an exhausted, uneducated single mother in her twenties, but she raised you... I mean, unless she had you at the age of nine, right?
I don't... Okay, so... I'm trying to sort of figure this out, and I'm sorry for missing this stuff, right?
Somebody says, I lived my childhood with dad on night shift, lived in fear of waking the monster, even after his death 20 years ago.
The dad who was in my head was sleeping and represented my fear of troubles slash failure.
I've learned to let go of that.
Good for you.
Well, I was under her care, but I thought she was working 14 hours a day.
I don't understand this.
I'm sorry.
It just, the timeline doesn't make sense to me.
And I apologize if I miss something, but I've got all of this.
She was a exhaustion of being an uneducated single mother in her twenties.
She worked 14 hours a day.
Oh no, but she took care of me.
Well, she can't take care of you and work 14 hours a day.
I mean, this is so many hours in the day.
And again, I'm sorry if I've missed something and I apologize if it's insensitive.
I really do want to understand where it is you're coming from, but the timeline doesn't add up to me.
Again, could it just be me?
Yeah, I was just alone a lot.
Okay, so either she took care of you, or she was working.
If she was home but drunk and passed out, she wasn't taking care of you.
So my question is, who took care of you when you were in the single digits?
I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be cold.
I genuinely want to understand.
Who took care of you when you were zero to ten?
And you, if you were young and alone, you weren't alone.
You were neglected, abandoned, and abused.
You were left unattended in great danger, unprotected, unsupervised, unguarded, uneducated.
You were abandoned in an abusive manner.
So, you have a lot of language here that doesn't really... I was passed around between low-wage babysitters and my dad's sister and sometimes grandparents.
Okay, so she didn't... So she didn't take care... That's my sort of question.
Alright, so she didn't take care of you, right?
You said, she did take care of me until I was 10.
But if you hand it around to everyone else, because she's working too much, then she didn't take care of you.
Does that make sense?
I mean, that would be like me saying, well, I'm homeschooling my daughter, but she's in government school.
Like, no, that's not...
These two would be contradictory statements.
After six years old, I was mostly unsupervised.
Okay, so that means abandoned and neglected, right?
So she worked 14 hours a day, I assume, to pay for alcohol, right?
Do y'all know, like, how expensive it is to be an alcoholic?
Have you ever, like, processed that?
Cost of... It's crazy.
I'm going to get the latest figures.
Cost of being an alcoholic.
Binge drinking costs almost $200 billion a year.
Let's see.
What drinking costs you over the course of your life?
Uh, well that's not, that's not a link that leads you anywhere.
All right.
How much money do alcoholics actually spend on alcohol?
And smoked, she smoked two packs a day.
Yikes.
Oh, so you also got all of that.
Ben Kingsley and, uh, Schindler's List secondhand smoke too, right?
Why are some websites so slow?
All right.
So let's see here.
How much is alcoholism costing you?
Uh, let's see here.
Okay, mental and physical health, we all know that.
Relationship with family and friends.
Financial burdens.
If you drink seven days a week and five to six beers a day, at around $24 for a 12 pack of domestic beer, you're spending $6,000 a year.
On just your own consumption, doesn't count when you go, you get $7,800 a year, yeah it depends what kind of drinking.
Now of course DUIs are $10,000 to $25,000 in terms of bail, fees, attorneys, court fines, classes, blah blah blah, loss of license, transportation.
So let's say, let's take $7,000 a year, what's minimum wage?
Wage in the US, I'm just saying.
I know that's different by state, I think, but let's see here.
Let's just say, I don't know, Florida, right?
So $11 an hour.
$11 an hour.
Okay.
So times, divided by 11.
So your mother was working 636 hours every year just for her alcohol, right?
So let's divide that by a month.
So she was working 53 hours a month just for her, to pay for her alcohol prior to taxes.
So it's probably closer to 60, maybe 65.
So let's just say 60 won't be fair, right?
60 divided by four.
So she's working 15 hours a week just to pay for her drinks.
She's working 15 hours a week.
So when you say, oh my gosh, she just 14 hours a day for minimum wage.
All right.
So let's divide that, uh, 15 hours a week, divide that by five.
Right.
So, yeah.
So she's working three of those 14 hours a day with just to pay for her alcohol.
Okay.
Uh, two pack a day smoking habit.
Costs off, right?
So we've got three hours a day she's working just to pay to pay drinks, right?
All right, smoking and its effects.
Calculate the costs of your smoking.
What do we got here?
Is there some place I can enter two packs a day?
Calculate your cost of smoking.
Use this calculator tool.
Okay, how many cigarettes do you smoke in a day?
She would be smoking 50, 50 cigarettes a day, right?
So, yes, so your yearly cost is $14,600.
If she's been smoking for 20 years, although it's probably more, she spent almost $300,000 on cigarettes.
Again, prior to
The taxes and all of that kind of stuff, right?
So every 10 years, she's spending $146,000 on cigarettes.
She's spending $14,600.
Uh, every year on, on cigarettes, right?
So 14,600 plus the 7,000.
So we got 20,600 just on her addictions.
We'll divide that by, uh, $11.
She's, uh, uh, 18, 172 hours.
Just round that to 1900 hours just to pay for her addictions.
Uh, let's divide that by 52.
Oh, that can't be right.
That can't be right.
Let's try that again.
Let's try that again.
Let's try that again.
I must have got something wrong there.
Oh, no, actually, this is about right.
Actually, yeah, because minimum wage, $11, $11.
Oh, yearly cost.
Yeah, $11 an hour is about $22,000 a year, right?
So monthly cost for cigarettes is $1,200.
For drinks was $7,000.
Is that right?
No, 7,000 a year.
Sorry, 7,000 a year.
Okay, I did get that wrong.
Sorry.
Alright, so 7,000 a year divided by 12, 583 plus 1,200 for the smokes, $1,700.
A month for that, right?
Divide that by 11 per month.
Yeah, so she's spending most of her money on substance abuse.
So, uh, this is very helpful, Steph.
I've thought about the dollars my parents spend on hedonism versus nothing on me.
And I'm realizing now I was distorted in my thinking.
She didn't need to work that hard.
Just for me, it was to support her addiction.
Well, and of course she preferred cigarettes and alcohol to spending time with you, which I, again, I'm really sorry for you deserved much better, but she's, um, she's working to pay for her addiction and also to avoid you, which causes her pain.
I never understood why my mom would quit smoking when she got pregnant and then start up again after having the baby.
If you can quit, why go back?
Because she didn't really want to quit.
If you want to quit, you generally won't.
Once you finally decide to quit, then it usually takes, I think, 60 to 90 days to get it out of your system.
So, this is why the exhaustion of being an uneducated single mother in her twenties.
She could have taken all of that money and that time that she spent working.
Oh, and also, of course, she has to pay for babysitters, right?
She has to pay for babysitters.
So she could have spent all that time.
Well, first of all, the choice to become an uneducated single mother in her twenties is her choice.
It's her choice.
Let me ask you this.
Let me ask you this glorious listenership of gloriousness.
Let me ask you this.
How many hours a week do you spend on something that educates you?
Right?
So how many hours a week?
I mean, I think this show includes, right?
But you know, reading or watching videos that are educational, you learn things from, scrolling through educational things on social media.
How many hours a week do you spend on something that could be considered educational?
And this includes in your job, but you know, just in general, right?
I mean, I'm a little less now than I used to do, like, an interview or two every week, which meant reading four to six books a week and throwing, like, probably a third of your free time, if this show counts, about 15 hours a week.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can we include audiobooks?
Of course, yeah.
Audiobooks are a great way to learn.
A great way to learn, because you don't have to be physically holding the book, right?
10 hours a week, a third of your free time, 30 hours a week, at least 20, 30 to 40 including work-related, yeah, constant process of education, right?
Most of the hours I'm awake, well, yeah, yeah, that's right.
So, I mean, the fact that I've been doing this show for 18 years and it can keep coming up with new examples, analogies, arguments, examples, stories, contacts, connections, right?
Um, I'm doing most, like, at least half my time.
Right?
I'm a dog walker.
I listen to books.
Or Steph.
I'm sorry.
I listen to books or Steph while walking?
Oh god.
Oh Anne.
Oh god.
Not only is my name not capitalized and misspelled, I'm second to books!
Sorry, there's some fine acting for you.
I'm just going to try and breathe through it.
I'm just going to try and breathe through it.
I need you to listen to this next part on speakerphone.
If you could just put this on speakerphone.
Anne's legs are sausages.
They're the tastiest sausages you could ever sink your teeth into.
After you sink your teeth into Anne's sausage legs, Bavarian sausage, blood filled and full of puppy treats, what you need to do is use your cold bloody nose filled with Anne's sausage legs debris and switch to free domain.
Free domain.
And you will go to heaven.
All right.
There's my, uh, my second whisper voice of the day.
Uh, did we get introduced to another petty part of Steph?
Trust me.
It's really an infinite cavalcade when you think about it.
So yes, uh, you could in fact be introduced to petty, petty Steph.
Petty Steph, volume 3,341.
All right.
Um, so sausage legs.
I'm half German.
It's in the blood.
So yeah, uneducated single mother in her twenties.
So she chose not to read books.
She chose not to watch documentaries.
She chose not to learn anything.
She just chose to work and drink and smoke and abandon her child.
Oh, what an apple polisher.
I watched your books, Freedomaine.
Okay, listen, I appreciate the praise, but that's a little apple polishy.
Oh, thank you, teacher, for those wonderful lessons.
I polished this apple on my armpit.
I'd love it if you would eat it.
It tastes like knowledge.
Why does she spell it Steph?
I know why she spelled it Steph.
It's lowercase s-t-e-p-h.
Because I'm infectious and that sounds like stuff.
No, she spelled it that way to hurt me.
Because that's Anne's job in this life, is to wake up and type and hurt me.
But I'll be fine.
I can rise above.
Not right now, but soon.
In a year or two.
All right, there we go.
I will actually make myself cry because I'm an actor, trained actor.
I wish I would have joined a long time ago.
Yeah, I hope so.
I mean, I tried to make it engaging and enjoyable.
And isn't it fair?
Hit me with a why if I make you feel better about your own pettiness by confessing to my own.
Does this happen to you where you're just like, well, I guess I do have a petty side, but boy, after hearing Steph's stories, I feel about as deep as the Mariana Trench compared to his pettiness.
So that's good.
I was late to the stream because I was listening to an FDR show on Bitcoin from 2011.
Oh, that's gonna hurt.
Isn't that gonna hurt a lot?
Ah, Mr. Deep Philosopher!
But he has an itch he can't reach, so he blows up at a cat.
You just enjoy my stories?
That's good, that's good.
Keep it at that level and we'll just be fine.
We'll just be fine.
For the bad dad guy, let me know if I answered your question, otherwise I'll dig in.
We did have a question about homelessness, and I was actually just talking about this with my daughter this morning.
Homelessness.
I said inflation was coming too.
I can't claim any brilliance for that.
That was about as predictable as saying the sun's gonna rise tomorrow.
Alright.
Here is
Uh, what somebody else asked about.
Yes.
Uh, also curious if you could discuss homelessness.
I work outside and I see a growing number of homeless that are, well, terrible.
The post-COVID homeless are not the same as pre-COVID homeless.
Right.
Okay.
Uh, let's get some more facts.
I try not to taint things with too many facts, but let's break precedence here.
All right.
Percentage homeless drug addicts.
Alright.
Homelessness and addiction are closely related.
How much is known?
I was homeless in Seattle for 5 years, 20 years in addiction.
99% of homeless people have substance use issues or mental health issues.
Addiction first, homeless second.
So, is that scientific?
Eh.
Studies have shown that homelessness causes drug abuse more than the other way around.
That's interesting.
I'd like to know more details on that, but it's Reddit, so I'm frightened.
Let's see here.
Alcohol abuse affects 30 to 40 percent of homeless and drug abuse 10 to 15 percent, right?
So that's 40 to 65 percent.
And of course, the people who claim to be mentally ill might have wrecked their brains through drugs, right?
So... It's high.
It's high.
And I don't know whether they test people or just rely on verbal stuff.
In Toronto, drug use is common among homeless individuals in Toronto.
Current drug problems are associated with poorer mental health status, but not with poorer physical health status.
So...
Drugs are, I mean it's a big topic obviously.
Drug use is up because child abuse is up.
Drug use and drug mental health issues are up because drugs have become incredibly more concentrated than they were in the past.
Like the marijuana of today is like crack compared to the marijuana of when I was young.
I can't even say younger, I'd have to just say young.
And, of course, a lot of the drugs that people take are laced with fentanyl, or things even stronger than fentanyl, which leads to accidental overdoses.
And, of course, this is all planned by foreign powers, shipped in through the southern border, and it is a form of... it's a bioweapon, right?
Drugs have been turned into a bioweapon.
And...
So, when you take drugs, you're literally taking your life in your hand.
Like, you're literally taking your life in your hands when you take drugs, because they're not controlled for any kind of quality, right?
And trauma comes first, but it's not necessary.
Lots of people here who were heavily traumatized as children did not become drug addicts, so it's not, right?
The more we talk about it, the more people
Being homeless here is room and board paid for by the government.
And of course, I did this in California, right?
I actually went to California.
I had a woman who was a social worker take me through the homeless districts.
I interviewed a bunch of homeless people and it showed up in my documentary on California.
And yeah, I mean, they're pretty fried.
They're pretty fried.
One guy was a vet.
He had a lot of trauma for being a veteran.
And then he'd also done drugs.
And yeah, it's a huge, huge issue.
And what we do know, of course, that people will, the homeless people will migrate to where the best weather is and the most benefits.
So, California has good weather, of course, for homeless, very important.
The weather is more important to homeless than anyone else.
So, California has great weather if you're homeless and they also have very generous benefits.
So, they literally get on buses and they go to where the benefits are the best.
Now, of course, if you can plan that much, you can have a job.
But why would you want to have a job if that means you have to get up when you're hungover or whatever, right?
It's not easy.
Thank you, appreciate that.
I appreciate your tip.
First time I've been able to catch you live in three months.
Thank you for all the philosophy over the years.
Well, thank you, I appreciate that.
I appreciate that.
And a lot of them,
As far as I understand it, you know, again, I'm no expert, take all of this with as much of a grain of salt as you can conceivably imagine, but I do believe that if you have fried your brain with drugs too much, is there coming back?
Can you fix a brain broken by repeated drug binges and problems?
Well, it's like alcohols, right?
Alcoholism.
Can you fix a brain that's been stewed in alcohol for 30 years?
I personally don't think so, and I've known some people who don't know them anymore, but I knew them when they were younger.
It's a good reminder that poor is a choice for nearly every 20-year-old.
Everyone older is just suffering the consequences.
I mean, there are situations where poverty is not the person's fault, obviously, right?
I mean, if they're very low IQ, it's not their fault, and it's gonna be really challenging for them to navigate in a society.
And the more complex a society becomes with, like... I think about all of these crazy regulations to get a business, and the licenses, and the permissions, and the...
Permits and all of that and it's like you're just killing people who otherwise could have a job, who aren't smart enough to navigate that.
They could have a job, they could even open a small business, but they can't because the IQ requirements for getting through the bureaucratic maze have just become so high it's incredibly brutal to people who are less intelligent and it's really, really sad.
Polaris says, everyone should tip at least $10 per week if you can afford it.
Maybe get rid of something else that costs $10.
Just saying.
Sorry, my opinion only.
That's identical with UPB.
No, I'm just kidding.
But thank you.
I appreciate that.
I appreciate that.
My mom sleeps with a five liter jug of water and vodka by her bed and wakes up to drink it almost unconsciously.
It gets that bad.
Oof.
It means that the price of her we calculated seven grand a year is probably even higher.
I live in Vegas.
The homeless people over here are like zombies.
99% of these people cannot be saved.
Drugs, alcohol, and gambling.
It's terrible.
How to help the poor is a very difficult and complicated topic as anybody, like anybody who says we just need a government program.
I know absolutely immediately and totally with deep certainty, and it's never been contradicted.
Anybody who says we just need a government program to help the poor has never tried to help anybody in their entire damn life in any interpersonal way.
Alright, hit me with a wire if you've been burned really badly trying to help someone in your personal life.
I know I have.
Have you been burned really badly by trying to help someone, genuinely help someone with good intentions and a possibility of genuinely helping them?
Have you been burned bad trying to help someone in your personal life?
I give food to all homeless with animals.
But the problem is, of course, even if you're a drug addict and you get given food, you'll just sell the food for drugs.
Right.
Now, hit me with a why.
Ooh, this one's gonna hurt a little.
It hurts me even to think about it.
But hit me with a why.
It's a philosophy, just hit me with a why.
But hit me with a why if you've genuinely succeeded in helping someone in your personal life.
Like, who was a real mess and you made them better and they stayed better.
I can't say that I have, and I'm pretty good at this kind of stuff, but in my personal life, no.
I think in the show and so on, right?
I have not made dysfunctional people functional in my personal life.
I've just not done it.
And again, I'm not the worst person at this kind of thing, but... Right.
And, you know, if you have, I mean, more power to you, man.
Let us know how you did it.
I've not.
But you can't help people who won't help themselves.
Yeah, that's true, Anne, that's kind of a truism, but if we, as intelligent people who care about others, have a track record of batting zero, of zero percent saving people, and a hundred percent of us here have been burned badly by somebody we've tried to help,
Then it's not just people won't help themselves, like you try to help them and you just get exploited, right?
Recently I helped improve someone's life and they took all that wellness and used it to cause harm to their new partner.
Well, then they didn't improve their life by definition.
Sorry to be annoying.
I made someone better and then they used it to be abusive.
It's like then they didn't get better, right?
So it's really, really hard to help people.
It's really, really, really hard.
To help people.
No one wants the truth which will help them.
They hate me for helping in the end.
To help shows them the truth.
I still try.
But they hate it actually in truth.
I mean, I don't think it's because we're bad at it.
Maybe we are.
Maybe we all just happen to be bad at it.
I don't think so.
Statistically, that would be improbable.
I don't think it's that we're really bad at it.
I think what happens is, by the time you have developed the skills to truly help people, they're usually beyond helping.
At what age do you think if somebody's just living
Badly, cruelly, unwisely, destructively, whether itself or others or both.
At what age do you think they pass beyond the horizon of being able to be helped locally?
25, says Liberty Garden.
I mean, I won't say what I think, not that I don't have any authority in this area.
I have no authority other than the quality of my arguments, but what do you guys think?
30?
25?
30?
A lot of people in the 30.
Depends on the amount of trauma.
Of course, everything depends on everything.
Just give me a guess.
Everything depends on everything.
Yeah, I get that.
We're just asking for an average.
I mean, if I'm asking an open-ended question and somebody says, depends, they might as well be referring to the adult diapers.
Gut guess, 20-ish?
Yeah?
Oh, 10, the age of 10?
I don't know.
Well, again, I don't know.
Nobody knows for sure.
I'm just asking you what your gut says.
I just told this thing about gut, right?
What's your gut sense tell you?
What does your gut sense tell you about when somebody is too old to fix?
Now maybe they could be fixed by some tea, maybe they could be fixed by some rehab, maybe they could be fixed by some divine intervention or revelation, but when do you think, like just a friend or a family member, when they're too old to be helped?
Not sure, but my sister is 35 and she's getting done with rehab, so we'll see.
I think it's once they've defended their choice to be dysfunctional, losing the one love, usually by 35.
Twenty-two?
Seven?
Uh, yeah.
About thirty, I'd say.
Right.
Okay, so the way that you would... The way you would know that is you all have not succeeded... Well, sorry, not you all.
We all have not succeeded in helping people in our personal lives
Now this doesn't mean that nobody in my personal life has ever taken good advice.
I'm talking about dysfunctional to functional.
So what that means is if you failed and been burned, what was the youngest age of someone you tried to help and it didn't work?
What was the youngest age of someone you tried to help and it didn't work?
Because we have empirical evidence here.
It's not scientific, obviously.
It's anecdotal, but it's there.
It's the only information we can currently get, right?
So, I think the person who was the youngest who I tried to help was probably about 22.
So, somebody helped 17, 14 or 15.
My sister going woke.
I'm not asking for the job description.
I'm just asking for the salary.
Just give me the number.
20, 15.
What else have we got?
Uh, 13.
Okay, 17.
Right.
So, everybody was saying 25 to 30, most people.
Some people younger.
So, if the youngest person you tried to help and it failed, the difference between that number and the number you guessed where people couldn't be helped is the number of years you're going to be exploited.
Right?
So, if you think
If the youngest person you tried to help and it failed was 20, but you think people can be helped until they're 30, that's 10 years of you being exploited.
You're literally signing yourself up to a tour of duty called exploitation for a full decade.
The gap analysis, that's what I call it in business, right?
I wrote a whole software program to help people analyze gap analysis in health and safety environmental standards.
So gap analysis is
Here's the empirical data.
Here's my estimate, right?
What's the difference?
So if you guessed, oh, I can help people till I'm 30, but the youngest person you helped and it failed was 20, you're potentially signing yourself up for a decade.
I'm conflicted in my answering because I don't want to count myself out.
I've improved a lot, but really didn't start until my early to mid twenties.
I'd like to think I still have a chance at redemption.
But John, your improvement is working.
We're talking about, oh my God, it's not about you.
We're talking about where it didn't work.
Yours is working.
We're talking about other people where it didn't work, not you where it is working.
This is two complete opposite things that we're talking about.
Does that make sense?
Other people where it didn't work.
Yes, but me where it is working.
Whole other category.
Whole other category.
And one of the things you might want to work on is making things about you.
Trying to help a family member got nothing but abuse back from my trouble, I'm done helping.
Alright, let me ask you this, let me ask you this.
So, you all said yes to somebody where you experienced a significant negative from trying to help.
If you experienced a significant negative from trying to help, you got badly burned, how old was the person who burned you?
How old was the person you tried to help
And it costs you like hell.
How old was the person you tried to help and you got really burned?
Please and thank you.
Look at me being polite.
For the first time ever!
Okay, you know what I mean.
Somebody says, I definitely think my actions to help people and be a good influence is more effective on young people.
My thoughts about why we try to help people who are beyond saving, even though our gut tells us we should not.
It's in part because, like myself, I grew up watching shows, movies, cartoons, where the bad guy has a change of heart in the end.
I often remind myself when watching things like that, that it is not real.
Well, not only is it not real, it's programmed to have bad people exploit you.
Uh, that makes a ton of sense.
I was thinking about my own turnaround.
Right.
However, me helping myself and helping other people are completely different.
Yes.
John says, my apologies.
Thanks for the correction.
You're very welcome.
And I'm very glad you expressed what you did.
I'm glad that you were honest.
I'm glad that you expressed what you did.
I really, really appreciate it.
Thank you.
So, so, uh, early twenties, you got burned.
The guy was 20, 37, 21, early twenties, late forties.
Uh, people with more life experience than I have.
I don't know what that means.
Oh, people older than you.
Right.
Okay, we can end with this topic.
If you would find it useful, I'm your slave.
It's the offer to help more for ourselves.
Well, that's always an interesting question, right?
Do you want someone to feel better because you feel anxious that they're not doing well?
Okay.
Would you like to know how to not be exploited by people who want your help?
Trust me.
I've had a lot of experience in this realm.
And, uh, I, this is like hard one scar tissue that I want to carve off and use to tattoo the answer on your forehead.
Your forehead may not be as big as mine, but I can get to half a Hamlet up there.
But, um,
Would you like to know how to avoid being exploited through your desire to help others?
Would be helpful?
Is that a good topic for us to end on?
Okay.
Looks like it would be helpful.
All right.
So there's two ways to do it.
One is more passive and one is more active.
We'll start with the passive one.
You improve your life and you see who wants to know how you did it.
If you improve your life,
Then other people, if they're capable of being fixed, thank you, Jared, if they're capable of being fixed, they will want to know how you did it.
How many of the friends that I grew up in, in contact with, how many of the friends that I grew up in ended up with very happy marriages?
I can think maybe of one of dozens of friends.
Now, I have a very happy marriage.
How many of them are contacting me saying, wow, how did you do it?
How many people who I knew, most of whom grew up with trauma, have been able to overcome their trauma in the way that I think I have and become better because of the trauma?
How many of them
Are calling me up and saying, wow, you know, you really did manage to surmount this terrible childhood and turn it around and become a great person, a good person.
How did you do it?
Blah, blah, blah.
Right?
So if you lose weight, like if you're around a bunch of fat people and you're fat too, and you lose a bunch of weight, people who want to lose weight will do what?
Pull you aside, right?
Napoleon death scene style.
They'll pull you aside and they'll say, dude, you look fantastic.
How, how, how are you doing this?
I'm dying over here.
Like I can't catch breath and I can't climb stairs.
Like how are you doing it, man?
Improvement filters out in your life.
All those who aren't interested in improvement.
Does this make sense?
Right.
If you used to be a slow, like let's say you're in a bunch of running races, you're an athlete, and you used to be a slow runner and now you're a super fast runner, all the people who want to win races will do what?
What will they say to you?
Are you blood boosting, Soviet style?
What will they say to you?
If you went from being a relatively slow runner to winning all the races, what will they say to you?
Or what will they ask you?
Dude!
How you doing this?
How is this possible?
How are you doing this?
I mean, is there some train... I mean, you've been tested, so... because the athletes get tested.
You've been tested.
You're not cheating, because we got the video.
You're clean.
Like, what are you doing that is making you so much faster?
Are you now Kenyan?
Right?
What are you doing?
They'll ask.
And that's how you know the people who want to win will ask you.
If you're winning, they'll want to know how.
If they don't want to win, they won't bring it up.
And if they really don't want to win, they'll avoid the topic completely.
Does this make sense?
So the best way to find out who's worth helping is improve yourself and see who is desperate to get knowledge from you.
Because that's letting their motivation and your example combine for the possibility of improvement.
Will they improve?
It's possible.
It's necessary, but not sufficient, right?
And of course, if somebody stopped being an athlete and started smoking, they won't even care why you did what you did, right?
Most people I've noticed, when you try to improve, just try to sabotage.
Sorry, let me rephrase that.
Sorry, not rephrase that.
Let me read that accurately.
Sorry.
Most people I've noticed, when you improve, they just try and sabotage you.
Well, sure.
Well, sure.
Of course.
I mean, I call it layering, right?
People, like deep sea fish, you bring them up to the surface, they die, right?
Top level fish, like shallow water fish, you take them down to the depths, they die.
People like to stay at their own level.
And they don't like people to change levels!
I mean, there's these sedimentary layers in society, and if you blow through and burrow through them and you find your way out, people don't like it, because they like to think that, A, if they're at the bottom, they like to think the bottom is best, man, we're authentic, we're real down here, man, we don't have these fake Ivy League bullshit airs, we're not pseudo-intellectual bullshit, we're real, right?
Go to therapy, man, just...
Commune with nature, be yourself.
Suntan your balls, you'll be fine.
Right?
I mean, that's always a good advice anyway, unless you're anywhere in public.
All right.
Yeah, this woman who got, uh, she got arrested.
Um, so this family saw her masturbating on the beach and she got arrested and confessed.
And she actually, this was a couple of years ago.
She just killed herself.
It's really, uh, really, really tragic.
It's not the kind of, I mean, it's a bad mistake, of course, but not the kind of mistake where somebody should end their life.
But it's just really, uh, really sad.
If I was around my family, they'd be telling me I was losing weight too fast, you're wasting away, that's not healthy.
A major thing I learned in therapy is that I am nobody's savior.
I can provide help to people if they ask, but it's still their outcome to own.
Yes.
Yes.
So, if you have lost weight, and somebody's complaining about being overweight, and they haven't asked you, the furthest I will ever go
This is the edge of my cliff, one step further, and I'm in the abyss.
And I'm not kidding about that.
You can lose a fucking decade of your life in this abyss.
It's a jail sentence.
If I've lost weight, and people around me are fat, that's an analogy, right?
Then, if they ask me, I'll tell them.
James says, I'm 11 pounds lower today than at age 18.
That's almost a stone!
James has been unstoned almost.
That time he was unstoned.
Congratulations.
Right.
So, if people want to know, I'll tell them.
And the furthest, if I'm really desperate for something, the furthest I will go, the furthest, the absolute tippy-toe limit of where I'll go is I've lost weight, someone's complaining about weight,
I'll say, I've lost weight, would you like to know how?
That's, that's... I'm not going to go, here's how you lose weight, here's what I did, here's the list, here's the this, here's the that, I won't do that.
Because I'm not going to try and invade somebody and substitute my will for theirs.
That just makes them softer.
Like, honestly!
Have you gained any muscle from my exercise?
Nope!
Listen, you're a little flabby.
I'm gonna diet and work out for you.
You don't need to worry about it.
Just, you know, don't worry your pretty little head about it, right?
Just... I'll handle it for you.
And if you need to pee, I'll do it for you.
I'll eat for you.
And... I'll pay double my taxes so you don't have to pay anything, right?
Everyone I know who is overweight and should lose weight won't quit the nighttime snacking.
A minimal change and they can't do it.
Yeah, I've had to change that.
Sometimes I used to wake up and if I couldn't sleep, I'm like, I'll have a bowl of cereal.
It's like, yeah, let me fill myself with carbs and lactose and then go back to bed.
That's pretty much the sumo diet, right?
Yeah, my diabetic girlfriend, let me inject that insulin in my thigh for you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Furthest I'll ever go is, would you like to know?
Hey, you seem like a pretty happy guy.
Yeah.
I mean, I've got, I got some thoughts about it.
Would you like to know?
Heh, that him who was fat cast off the first stone.
Yeah, true.
Is that, what's it, 14 pounds?
13 pounds?
Something like that.
It takes the primitive Pict-style British culture to say, I will measure a man with rocks.
Pounds?
No!
None of this commie pound stuff.
Bag of rocks.
That's it.
Bag of rocks.
And to fix your teeth, you have to chew on them.
What is it with men and nighttime cereal?
Ah, you are married, aren't you, Anne?
Yes, men and nighttime cereal.
I can't exactly explain it, but it is the best food to eat at two in the morning.
Cereal is God's gift to your ass fat at 2 a.m.
It just is the way that it is.
Brenner!
Yeah, that's right, that's right.
My daughter will occasionally dip into some keto cereal for dinner and I'm like, oh, saucy.
Actually, not saucy, no sauces at all.
So, yeah, you improve, and if people are curious about it, they'll ask you.
And at the very extreme, at the very edge, you can say, my advice, whatever, you can do what you want, my advice is, you know, say, would you like to know?
Now, if they're like, yeah, okay, it's like, no, I'm gonna push it on you, right?
But they gotta be in pursuit of you, right?
You don't stalk people with your improvements.
Now that I have you cornered, would you like to hear the good news about trans fats?
Now that I have you pinned down in the Mormon missionary position, I would like to tell you about our Lord and Savior, UPB.
I don't think that's gonna work.
Because people gotta have their free will, right?
The moment you try and substitute other people's will with your own, you destroy their capacity for self-ownership.
Or you undermine it, for sure.
Maybe not destroy.
You can't really destroy it, but you undermine it.
Also, if you grew up in an abusive household, night time was the only safe time to eat.
Lost 4.3 stone and learned how differently my co-workers treat me.
It's really sad when you see how differently you're treated as a person after the change.
I lost respect for a lot of them who treat me differently now.
Sorry, they treat you better because you lost weight?
What do you mean?
I have people ask me then just argue with me to waste my time.
Well, then they don't want to know, or they just want to argue, right?
And then, no, I don't really want to argue.
If you want the knowledge, I'll give you the knowledge, but I'm not here to argue.
So, City Central, this is for you.
You said that people treat you differently.
Oh, it's just about to end.
You're saying that people treat you better because you lost weight?
I'm surprised you're surprised, and I'm also surprised that you would lose respect for people who treat you better because you lost weight.
I'm sorry, I'm just waiting for you.
Somebody says, I'm under no illusion as to how I became diabetic.
Slow motion suicide over 10 years.
Older me pays the price.
I'm sorry about that.
It's not really slow motion suicide, it's usually remote control.
Death commandments, usually from parental alter egos.
How differently they treat me now and my work performance hasn't changed.
I would treat someone better that has lost weight if shown that they care about themselves.
Oh, Jared.
That's very nice of you.
And false, I think.
Could be wrong.
False.
Why would we evolve to dislike people who were overweight?
Why would we have evolved to have problems with people who are overweight?
I'm not talking about current society.
I'm talking about the gut evolutionary impulse.
Why would we have evolved to dislike people who are overweight and to like them more when they lost the weight?
Have a great day.
Thanks for the daytime stream.
Thank you for the tip.
I appreciate that.
They're a burden.
Tell me more.
Come on people, we're evolving!
Calories are scarce, what has the fat person done?
Right?
Fixed number of calories.
No grocery stores, everything is hard-fought, hard-won, hard-grown, chasing away the crows, hunting the deer, cooking everything, storing everything, pickling everything, jarring everything.
They're eating my- yes!
They're eating your food!
They've taken food from you, and also, they're less available to fight, to hunt, right?
So they're taking more food, and they're less available to help protect you and provide for the tribe.
Yeah, if they're fat, part of your brain thinks they ate your food.
Right?
And also,
I mean, a lot of kings were fat.
They suffered from gout and leg ulcers and all kinds of things, right?
Probably diabetes too, although they wouldn't have called it back then, but they certainly knew about gout.
But kings were fat and kings were resented.
Yeah, they're consuming resources from the community.
Yeah, because everybody provides food in common.
Right?
It's like, imagine you as a kid, right?
You come home with a bunch of friends.
We used to do this when I was a kid.
You come home as a friend and you agree to pool your candy and everyone takes a certain amount.
And what if one kid leaves with three times the amount of candy?
Well, you resent that kid and you won't ask him to do it back because he obviously took more than he put in.
Best hunted won't be fat, they'll be muscular.
Fat means they aren't exerting themselves as much.
That's right.
Fat means that they're taking
Food from babies.
They're taking food from the weak, the sick, the old, whoever, right?
Yeah, pregnant women are given first choice on food.
Yeah, absolutely.
Organs and meats, for sure.
So...
Rural Eastern Europe.
Grandmother told us to find a beautiful fat wife.
Of course, yeah, because Eastern Europe, it's cold, you need that fat as food storage, right?
I mean, when I had my colonoscopy done, I ate my ass for three days.
Tasted like, well, ass, frankly.
Fat was status at one point.
Yes, so you'd have to have power control and bully and taking unjustly to get fat, right?
So the idea that people treat you better when you lose weight, I don't know why that would be surprising.
Now, I'm not saying, you know, everyone who's fat is greedy and bad, I'm not saying anything, I'm just talking about the evolutionary pressures as to why we would dislike people instinctively who were significantly overweight.
I mean, if it was some well-loved elder near the end of his life, he'd maybe given some extra food or whatever, but that's only if there was extra food to give, and you certainly wouldn't give that food to that person instead of to a pregnant woman or a child who was hungry or whatever, right?
So yeah, so that's why, and it's funny to me, like environmentalists never seem to complain about overweight people.
Which tells you that environmentalists only care about power, they don't care about people who are overweight.
Because people who are overweight are really, really terrible for the environment.
Because they're consuming way more calories than they need, and those calories all come at great expense to the environment, right?
I feel massive respect for people who used to be fat and got lean.
Yes, it is a very, very difficult thing to do.
And it's, I mean, you guys know this, right?
The percentage of people who lose weight and gain it all back?
What percentage of people fail to keep their weight off?
And often they'll gain even more back.
What percentage of people fail to keep their weight off?
I thought it was higher than 90.
I thought it was higher than 95.
I don't know.
Let me, I can look it up quickly, but it's high.
It's high.
Percent people who gain back.
There was a Seinfeld about this, like, yeah, nobody ever loses weight permanently.
And it is difficult to keep the weight off, right?
Although a small percentage of people manage to lose weight and keep it off, most people regain all or a portion of the weight they lost, and some gain back even more.
Nearly 65% of dieters return to their pre-dieting weight within three years.
Only 5% of people, yeah 95%, only 5% of people who lose weight keep it off.
Now I'm not talking about the people who get like the bariatric surgery, the stomach stapling and so on.
Only 5% of people who lose weight on a crash diet will keep the weight off.
And yeah, it's tough.
Losing weight quickly carries serious health risks.
It can make your bones more frail and less dense.
It can atrophy muscles.
It can wreak havoc with your immune system and leave you more susceptible to opportunistic infections.
Your heart can also be damaged from extreme dieting.
Cardiologist Isidore Rosenfeld, MD, warns that crash dieting can cause heart palpitations and even heart attacks.
A healthy rate of loss is one to two pounds to week, one or two pounds a week.
And don't you have to plateau after a while?
Like you can't just go straight down, you gotta plateau, reset your body weight and all this kind of stuff.
It's a multi-year journey to lose any significant amount of weight.
So, anywhere from 35% to 5% of people fail their diets.
All right.
Please take a moment to fill out the free domain survey, fdrurl.com slash survey, fdrurl.com slash survey.
A big reason as to why most people gain back the weight they lost is due to their fat cells now being small.
As far as I understand, no one should get liposuction after losing, one should get liposuction after losing weight to make it easier to stay at their new weight if they've lost a lot of weight.
Yeah, your fat cells, they get formed, but they never go away.
They just shrink, right?
Which means that you're more susceptible to gaining weight back in the future.
So, yes.
Yes, of course, right?
And of course, you lose weight and your body goes into starvation mode, which means that when you eat any excess, it goes straight to fat.
And yeah, it's tough, man.
It's a real wrestle to get your weight down, for sure.
And I sympathize with people a lot.
I mean, I did about 30 pounds over the last 20 years.
I lost about 30 pounds.
And yeah, I've kept it off.
I'm looking to do another 10, just because I figure another 10 pounds lost might give me another six months extra of life, and life is sweet.
And all of that.
Small fat cells make you feel hungry because they strive to get back to the original size.
I guess so, yeah.
I guess so.
It's like squishing a squishy ball.
Wants to pop back in, right?
Well, then, of course, the other thing, too, is that your gut bacteria adapt to particular diets, and when you change that diet, they rebel and make you uncomfortable, because they want their old food back, right?
Isn't that the case if you cut carbs, like all the bacteria, the lift-off carbs get mad at you?
There's a slow process that can reverse the fat cell creation in loose skin called autophagy, but it takes a long time.
Reverse the fat cell creation?
That means they get destroyed?
Is that right, James?
The fat cells get destroyed?
Intermittent fasting works great for me.
40 hours fast, 8 hours eat.
40 hours fast?
Well, that's a lot.
I usually try and stop eating 8pm and then I usually don't eat till 1pm the next day.
Alright.
The carb bacteria do get mad if you stop eating carbs.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, the body reclaims them?
Oh, they do eventually go away?
Oh, that's good to know.
That's good to know.
Hopefully my body, back fat, ass fat reclamation project is underway and we're
They're conquering them like a reverse crusade.
All right.
Having roommates who have unrestricted diets are rough for any weightless loss hopes.
Oh yeah.
I mean, you know, family and holidays and people just lurch from birthdays to Thanksgiving to Christmas to Valentine's.
It's always an excuse for dessert.
And then if you've got people around you who are eating too much, I mean, every single thing that you do to lose weight has more to do with your environment than yourself.
In my experience, right?
In my experience, everything to do with weight loss for me has to do more with my environment than with my willpower.
In other words, I need to be around people who don't overeat, or it helps.
I need to not have stuff in the house, because if it's not there, I'm not going to go out and get it, but if it is there, I might snack on it.
And so, yeah, so for me, apple crumble is like a weakness.
It's the way that I can only imagine that's the tree of knowledge of good and evil to the apple.
That's how it tasted.
Oh, you work at a hotel, there's temptations galore.
Yeah, I used to work at Loblaws as a temp many, many, many years ago.
And they had this big bowl of cookies come right off the elevator and President's Choice cookies.
I mean, I could have a couple and be like, ooh, I'm dozy on the Excel spreadsheet at this point.
So yeah, it's not great.
So to me, weight loss is not a willpower thing.
It's an environment thing.
Just don't have it around.
Don't have it around.
You know, for me, like the new thing is I have no sugar added yogurt and some fruit, and that's how I try and hit my sweet tooth.
I'm still warring over whether to put a handful of granola in or not, because I know granola's not great for you.
Maybe I'll do some raisins instead, but that's the new thing for snacking for me and all of that, so.
My husband basically gains and loses the same 20 to 25 pounds every year.
I dislike watching him yo-yo.
Yeah, he should look into that.
That's not great.
That's not good for your health, to gain and lose the same amount of weight.
Yo-yo dieting is really, really not good.
That's my opinion, right?
Obviously, do your own research.
I'm no doctor.
I'm not giving anybody any advice, but... The people who tried to bribe Steph with money to lose his principal should have tried Apple Crumble.
Should we finish on Elon?
Should we finish on Elon?
Does it matter?
Elon's F.U.
Boy, talk about a collision of two mindsets.
Elon was being interviewed by some Sorkin, I think his name's Sorkin, I don't know if he's any relation to the West Wing writer, but he was like, you know, Sorkin was interviewing Elon, it's like, you know, a lot of people feel uncomfortable with the platform because of this, that, and the other, and it's too radical, it's too this, it's too that, and he's like, what, these people, they try to bribe me with money?
Fuck them.
And the guy was like, literally speechless.
Like, wait, people are threatening to withhold money from you.
Like, you understand that, and that should be the final argument.
People are threatening to withhold money from you.
How could you not change your behavior?
And he's like, no, fuck them.
They're trying to threaten and bribe me.
To do the wrong thing?
No, fuck them.
Go advertise elsewhere.
But that means that your business could collapse.
And it's like, well, that's for the world to judge.
These businesses will have killed X or Twitter.
Well, no, they'll say that you did it.
It's like, well, let's let the world judge for that, right?
And rightly so.
Like he said, I've done more for the environment than any other single individual on Earth, and I'm kind of sick and tired of people
Who only pretend to be good while doing evil.
Fuck them too.
And it's because Linda, whatever her name is, was actually in the audience while he's saying, and of course it's all reported as he's saying to the, he's saying to all the advertisers, fuck you.
And I was like, no, he's saying to the advertisers, uh, who are trying to manipulate him into giving up free speech, uh, through threatened boycotts and blackmail.
And like, if you obey my amoral or immoral agenda, I'll give you money.
Like that's bribery, right?
Um, of course I think Elon Musk is, is pretty cool in a lot of ways, but he's no debater.
It's not what I would have said.
It's not what I would have said.
It's cool that he said it for sure, but it's not what I would have said.
Also, the businesses lose money by not advertising.
Yes, but businesses don't care about losing money these days if they're full of woke people.
No, he's a pretty good communicator.
I mean, he's so high IQ, he's good at just about everything.
It caught a lot of attention.
Well, thanks, Jared.
What would you have said?
I appreciate you giving me that prompt.
Well, I mean, I would have said something along the lines of, no, they're not
They're not refusing to advertise with me because they feel that my platform is inappropriate.
They're perfectly happy to advertise on mainstream platforms that have literally led America into wars that have cost millions of lives.
So let's not pretend that they have some moral scruples about my immorality because I've not led anyone into a war and neither has Twitter.
So they're perfectly happy to advertise on platforms that have contributed to the deaths of millions of people.
So let's not pretend that they have any moral scruples.
They're doing this so that free speech is destroyed.
They're not doing this because of anything I did or some good or bad thing that I did because you would sort by this and say, well, maybe I said some edgy things, but at least I didn't start wars that killed millions of people.
So if you're going to sort by things that you have a problem with, and the top one is free speech, not, say, starting a war, then fuck you with your supposed moral outrage.
It's all bullshit, and it's all manipulation, and it's all a woke agenda.
They just want to destroy free speech.
They don't have any moral qualms about anything.
Otherwise, the first place they'd pull their heads for is for people who started wars!
Anyway, and other things.
But yeah, I mean, you know, that's my particular skill set.
You know, maybe he's as good as debating as I am at engineering, but I think Elon has a lot of trauma.
Oh, yeah, it's not a lot of fun to be Elon Musk.
I mean, he says this directly himself.
But yeah, I just thought it was interesting where the guy's like, well, no, this could cost you money.
He's like, no, fuck that.
So, you don't need to cut this clip and circulate it.
I don't mind if this stays in the hinterlands here, that's fine.
But yeah, I mean, the idea that, you know...
I mean, and you know, people like Bill Gates, who remained friends with Jeffrey Epstein after his sins and crimes were revealed, and so on, and the idea that people platform... You're happy to interview people like Bill Gates, who are friends with these serial soul-murdering pedophiles.
It's like, eh, you know, let's not start bringing up all these moral qualms that these companies have.
Please, give me a break.
No, his childhood was not easy, that's right.
Childhood was not easy.
All right.
Well, thank you, everyone.
It was so great.
I just wanted to mention I might be able to do a show tomorrow night.
I'm not entirely positive I will be able to do a show tomorrow night.
I may have something on.
I'm sorry to be annoying, but that's one of the reasons I wanted to do the show today.
You dropped a donation!
Oh, well, pick it up and triple it!
No, I'm kidding.
Thank you very much.
He said, remembering to be gracious.
I appreciate that.
Thank you so much.
If you all want to support the show, freedomain.com slash donate is hugely, hugely appreciated.
Yeah, Gates, well, he's dead.
Yeah.
FC never got debanked, right?
So, yeah, I just appreciate that.
freedomain.com slash donate.
I would really, really
Uh, appreciate that.
Thank you.
Thank you so much and have yourselves a wonderful afternoon.
It was great to chat with you guys during the day.
Thanks for an earlier stream.
Makes it easier to participate from Finland, not having to stay up past midnight.
Oh, I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
Is it a little difficult to get a life-changing philosophy out at midnight?
Do you turn into a pumpkin?
I'm just kidding.
Sorry about that.
I appreciate that.
Sorry about the false audio issue.
My iPhone was underneath my laptop.
Hey, I have no problem with you sharing it.
I thought it was great to share because it was a great object lesson on check yourself before you criticize others.
