June 15, 2023 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
55:33
5196 Sexual Obsessions! Wednesday Night Live
What's the end goal of state run education?Hi Stef, a few months back, I asked a question about feeling a lack of integrity accepting inheritance from my abusive parents, to which you asked something along the lines of 'why not accept what comes rolling down to you?' The other night on a stream, I believe you also stated you refused inheritance from your father. Why did you make this decision?Hey Stef, your novel The Present was fantastic.I'm curious why crypto was only mentioned once, is the idea that crypto hasn't been mass adopted yet?Hey Stef, first off we love you and listen to you daily. Please explain your extulation of marriage and how that is juxtaposed by the state being so involved in personal relationshipsStef I heard Ancient Rome was also sex obsessed, is that a staple of cultures before they fall? Do they get sex obsessed for same reasons?Why are some woman angry at children?Dear Stefan, thank you for all you do. Not quite sure if this is a moral question, but would hugely appreciate it if you could provide your thoughts. How does a couple arrive at a win/ win in a situation where one partner wants to remain one child family only and the other one wants more children? It was a hard first couple of years and my husband does not want a repeat of that. I on the other hand see the wonderfulness our child has brought and I want more. Thank you for your input!How long did it take you to build up a community of like-minded friends?
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
Good evening, everybody.
Hope you are doing most magnificently.
Do you care about an update on the StephBot AI?
StephBot.ai.
Live now.
It's going very well.
It's going magnificently and we're hoping to bring it out into a beta over the next couple days.
Couple days and we should be good to go.
All right.
Let me just let people know we are living on the air as Peter Gabriel would have it.
Now I'm going to be very honest with you guys.
You're going to have to give me the energy tonight because I ate something that just kind of didn't just didn't agree with me yesterday.
And I've been kind of dragging my butt like a lead bellied space cadet all day.
So I'm sure that you will be gracious and kind enough to provide for me the energy.
Summon a rant within me and all will be well.
Do not summon a rant within me.
And I might just,
I might just murmur you to sleep.
It could happen that way.
And of course, you know, if you do have any interesting questions for the StephBot, for AI, I'm happy to pump them in for you and we can see what we get.
I've spent the day trying to make it evil and no luck.
No luck as yet.
But we'll keep trying.
We'll keep trying to turn it to the dark side.
You get that a little bit?
Yeah, I don't have any allergies.
I don't have any food allergies.
I don't have any other kind of allergies.
Did I have Tim Hortons?
No, I'm not going to blame Tim Hortons.
All right.
Good evening, good evening, good evening!
Good evening!
Was it carbs?
It was not.
I have no idea what it was.
What did I eat yesterday?
What did I have yesterday?
I didn't eat too much yesterday.
I tend not to eat till sort of mid-afternoon.
I'm never really hungry in the morning.
In fact, if I was as hungry in the evening as I was in the morning, I'd weigh about 18 pounds, as opposed to just my ball sacks weighing that each
So, uh, I had, what did I have yesterday?
I had, uh, I had a, um, uh, a juice, half a juice, like, you know, one of those mixed up juice things.
And, uh, I had half a juice thing and then I didn't, uh, I had a coffee or two and then I just had a couple of quesadillas in the evening and that was about it.
All right.
What is the end goal of state-run education?
That's a fine question.
It's a fine question.
So what is the end goal of state-run education?
First of all, I mean, as you well know, it's not education at all.
It is indoctrination.
The end goal of state-run education, or the purpose, the methodology of state-run education, is to have a giant lever with which to program the youth of a nation
And then to sell access to the programming of children to a variety of interest groups.
So sometimes feminists get it, sometimes socialists get it, and often, and you know, pro-statists and all.
So when you have a bunch of captive, if not imprisoned children, then selling access to them or providing access to them is a political favor
Bar none.
Because any group that wants to reprogram society has to program children.
Children are malleable.
Children are clay.
And so, if you want to... If you don't have good arguments, but you want to change people's mind, you inflict propaganda on children.
And the children, of course, you can put Satan himself in front of them.
And if the teacher is, Yay!
Satan!
Right then.
You're going to have a bunch of Satanists at the end of it, right?
Sad but true.
Sad but true.
All right.
Oh, we won a song quiz.
All right.
Sweet little boy with, oh, such a big mouth.
Harsh words can get you into hot water.
When people don't understand you, baby, I'm there waiting for you.
And I'll, and I'll never bring you down, down, down, down, down, down, my baby.
All right.
Good luck with that one.
That's a little obscure.
All right.
Hi, Steph.
A few months back, I asked a question about feeling a lack of integrity
Accepting inheritance from my abusive parents, to which you asked something along the lines of, why not accept what comes rolling down to you?
The other night on a stream, I believe you also stated you refused inheritance from your father.
Why did you make this decision?
Why did I make this decision?
I know why I made the decision, I'm just trying to think of how to phrase it.
So, my father, okay, I mean, long and short of it,
There was somebody else in the family who really, really, really needed it through no fault of her own.
And the child that he had with his second wife after my mother desperately needs that money.
And it's not through no fault of her own, she just needs that money.
She has issues which only money can solve and it's not her fault at all.
So there was just somebody
Who needed it more?
So, that was my particular thought.
Rita Ora.
Oh, the song quiz.
Because it won't bring you down.
Okay, so here's another song from the same album.
So every day I see you with some other face.
Take a smile, talk a while, and try to take their place.
My memory served me far too well.
Anyone?
Or, or... I won't let you down.
I will not give you up.
Gotta have some faith in the sound.
It's the one good thing that I've got.
Or...
Yeah, George Michael, that's right.
George Michael.
"'Cause it won't bring you down, do you trust me, yeah?"
Great voice, hellish life.
Like, absolutely hellish life.
And, boy, did you hear, was it... Now goes by Elliot Page, formerly known as Ellen Page.
This person says that she was horrifyingly sexually abused in Hollywood by, I think, producers when she was 16.
And this is one of the reasons why she has significant, of course, this is one of the reasons why she has some extraordinarily significant mental health issues, self-harm and so on.
Oh well, it's all about, it's all about covering up the bodies.
It's all about covering up the bodies.
Yeah, she is.
And so she ended up in a situation where she was punching herself in the face and heard a voice saying, you don't have to feel this way, and went in for surgery.
Just horrifying.
I mean, what happened to her as a teenager?
I mean, it's similar to the music industry, of course.
In the music industry, it was...
It was Alanis Morissette, who also talked about being preyed upon when she was in her mid-teens by a bunch of older music executives.
And, uh, I don't know, a lot of times the arts is just a methodology of exploitation.
Somebody sent, oh, thank you for the tip.
By the way, tips are greatly appreciated.
Thank you very much.
Hey Steph, your novel The Present was fantastic.
I'm curious why crypto was only mentioned once is the idea that crypto hasn't been mass adopted yet.
No, no, that's how they run.
That's how they run their financial system.
The decentralization, I mean, of course, there's one thing you could snap your finger and change.
I mean, it used to be for me just private educational systems, but a second, close second or parallel to that would be a financial system that was not political.
If you can, and this is an old saying, right?
Like, I mean, that was a Rothschild or someone who was saying like, if, if I control the financial system, I don't care who makes the laws.
No human being alive can be trusted with that level of power.
No one.
That level of power, the power to create money at will and to regulate interest rates at will?
No human being can handle that power.
All right.
Hey, Steph, first off, we love you and listen to you daily.
Thank you very much.
I appreciate that.
Please explain your ex-tulation, exaltation of marriage, and how that is juxtaposed by the state being so involved in personal relationships.
So, a license to marry was brought in by the Democrats, I think, at the South of America to prevent miscegenation, black and white, into marriage.
So marriage is, well just okay, hit me with a why if you'd like to hear my philosophy of marriage, like what it's for, what value it is, hit me with a why.
And you know, I'm never offended if you say no, I'll just inflict more George Michael, more bad George Michael on you.
Okay, so human beings are the slowest developing species in the universe that we know of.
As you know, the first year of life is often referred to as the fourth trimester.
We're born ridiculously helpless.
We're born right before our heads get too big and would end up splitting our mothers in two like a Thanksgiving wishbone.
Make a wish!
Your mother's dead.
In particular, East Asian babies have these massive heads, and you can see the pelvic floors and pelvic widening and pelvic aspects of East Asian women is very wide.
So, we're born ridiculously helpless, and as you know, it takes 20 to 25 years to reach brain maturity, and we are death magnets for the first couple of years of life.
Really, five or six years old, after about the age of five or six,
I stopped doing ridiculously dangerous things until my teenage years when I started up again.
So we're just born ridiculously helpless.
There's a huge amount of breastfeeding and women, human females of course, are fairly disabled by childbirth and need somebody to provide and protect and so on and so on and so on and so forth.
So we just need pair bonding.
We just need pair bonding.
Now, there are of course some cultures that don't have a lot of pair bonding, where there's a whole bunch of collective raising of children, but they tend not to do very well.
Because the longer, the mothers in particular, the longer and more deeply they're involved,
in their babies and toddlers and children's lives, the more culture can be accumulated and transmitted.
So those cultures where the parents aren't very involved in their offspring's upbringing compared to other cultures where it's very deep and intensive, then those cultures don't find much value in accumulating knowledge because the parents don't invest in passing the knowledge along down to the children.
So you will tend to see the parents most involved with the children.
And that doesn't mean peaceful parenting.
It just means that they're most involved in their children's lives.
Those tend to be the cultures that accumulate the most art and literature and language and so on, because it's worth accumulating these things.
Like, why would you bother making a bunch of money when you get older if you could never pass any of it to your kids, right?
And the cultures that invest more in their children tend to win in martial combats and cultural spread over the cultures that invest less in their children.
So there's a strong evolutionary pressure for pair bonding for the passing of culture.
And of course, if you want to destroy a culture, it's fairly simple.
If you want to destroy a culture, then what you do is you convince women to put their kids in daycare and go to work.
And then they make, you know, after taxes and daycare costs, they make a couple of bucks an hour.
Seriously, they make a couple of bucks an hour.
And the culture is destroyed usually within a generation or two.
You just have to convince women that, you know, only the loser women stay home, man.
And, you know, the 1950s, you always see this hyper-plastic Stepford Wives crap that, oh, the 1950s were just terrible.
Why?
Because the 1950s were very powerful in terms of, like, having moms stay home and transmitting cultural values, Christian cultural values in particular.
So, I mean, yeah, if you want to destroy a culture, you just convince women that the cool women, man, you know, the cool women, they go to work.
You know, all you do is you hire attractive, slender women to be in movies and TV shows and have them doing cool things and, you know, Melanie Griffith, working girl style, just, you know, rising and doing better.
And then the women who stay home, you just make them dumpy and unattractive.
And just like, literally, it's that simple.
It's just sad.
And then, of course, all the women who fall for this, and the men too, will then sternly lecture their children.
You know, it's really, really important.
You know, don't get swept into peer pressure, man.
You've got to resist peer pressure.
You've got to think for yourself.
But at the same time, they're like, oh, I've been programmed to obey a boss rather than work with my husband.
Well, you don't want to be a slave to your husband, OK?
So you just go get ordered around by your boss.
Great job, everyone.
And of course, it's great for the government, right, as I've talked about before.
Government convinces women.
to go to work then women go from untaxed housewives to taxed working women and then they get to tax the people who work in the daycares to take care of the children and then they get to set the daycare standards and curricula and so on to some degree and they get the kids away from the parents which means the kids are
Anxious and detached and won't form pair bonds, which means that they'll be promiscuous when they get older, which means that sex addicts will need to be subsidized.
I mean, a lot of socialized medicine came in as the result of sex addiction, right?
A lot of socialized medicine came in because people were having sex and making babies and the welfare state came in because of sex addiction and all of that.
And sex addiction was driven by the pill and all of that.
And we have a sex-addicted society at the moment.
Which means R-selected, not K-selected.
So, yeah, in the wild, right, in the natural state, absent propaganda and all of that, you have an absolutely desperate need for families to pair bond.
Also, another way, of course, to get societies to collapse is to inflame the legitimate paranoia that men have that the child is not theirs, right?
It's mama's baby, daddy's maybe, right?
And so
If you can introduce doubt into the father as to whether the children are his, again, you're just completely destroying the culture and so on.
Oh, by the by,
Somebody posted, just before I forget, somebody posted freedomain.locals.com.
I published an unbelievably wild call-in show about a man and his addiction to, let's say, unsavory images on the internet.
And somebody posted underneath and said that he was sexually turned on by pregnant women and his theory was because her sexuality is on display.
No, no.
You would be attracted
to a pregnant woman because you have a cuck addiction, right?
In terms of sexuality.
And the reason that you would have a cuck addiction is, I don't know, maybe there's stuff you're into online, but also most likely because you're just there to serve women.
And a woman who gets pregnant with another man's child desperately needs a man to step in.
And if you're just raised to serve women's needs, then that would make sense that you would be attracted to a woman carrying another man's baby, because that would be her needs, her preference, right?
So, so yeah, we desperately need monogamy in order for men to be committed to raising their children.
We desperately need women to stay home in order for cultural values to be transmitted.
It's just staying at home and being a broodmare.
How empty do you have to be to think that you have nothing to offer your children in terms of shaping their values as they grow?
I mean, how ridiculously hollow and empty do you have to be to imagine that having children is just wiping their butts and feeding their mouths?
It's a confession to me when people say, I want to be a broodmare, just stay home and raise brats and so on.
Complete confession of sociopathy in my view.
Complete confession of sociopathy.
That you have nothing of moral depth or wisdom or value to offer children.
And so it's an incredibly dangerous personality to be around.
So yeah, that's why we desperately need marriage.
We desperately need monogamy.
And when you like a woman and you want to get married to her, then the community needs to know that, right?
They need to know that you are into
This woman, and you have to have a public statement of commitment, right?
So that if your marriage runs into trouble, everyone in your community who was at your wedding will tell you to get back together, right?
To get back together.
All right.
Um, why do we need state approval though?
I don't understand.
Why do we need state?
You don't need state approval to get married.
Sorry to be drinking.
I just have need something to settle my stock.
I don't know.
I mean, you can, you can just live together.
Right.
And eventually you're considered common law.
Right.
I think it's three years in Ontario, other places different.
So yeah, I mean, so you have to pay.
You have to pay the government for a license to get married.
I mean, so just pay them and live your life.
You know, you have to pay property tax to own a house.
So I get that.
So does it mean you live in a tent in the woods?
I mean, there's overhead based upon the system and the way you pay them off and get on with your life.
I've known a stay-at-home mom who dropped her kids off at daycare a few days a week to have time to herself.
Yeah, that's rough.
I saw this pretty brutal meme, and it was a kid on the beach eating sand.
And the mom posted the picture of her little toddler, I don't know, he was like, I don't know, 14 months old maybe.
This little toddler was eating sand on the beach, and the question was, well, why do you let him eat sand?
And the mom said, because I don't like him.
Yeah, it's a lot of women.
Remember, women assault children at twice the rate of men.
Women kill children at twice the rate of men.
Women's rage towards children is, and again, of course it's not, a lot of moms are great and love their children, but there's a lot of rage that women have towards children.
Do you know why?
Do you know why a lot of women are angry at children?
We just get caught up with your messages here.
You've heard ancient Rome was also sex obsessed?
Yes, it was.
It was a staple of cultures before they fall?
Yeah.
Yeah, so they get, okay, so there's K-selected genes and R-selected genes.
And the way that R-selected genes are short-term mating strategies, pump and dump, spray and pray, it's rabbits versus wolves.
And I've got whole presentations, gene wars, G-E-N-E wars, you can find that at fdrpodcast.com.
So there are sets of genes for R-selected and there are sets of genes for K-selected.
Now the R-selected genes spread
by presenting sexual materials to children.
And that spreads our selected genes, because a premature stimulation of sexual interest leads towards promiscuity.
Having fathers out of the home is something that spreads our selected genes, because father absence is believed by the genes to be, in some of its genetic, in some of its epigenetic, in other words, it gets turned on after birth.
So we know for a fact that
Girls who grew up without fathers likely start menstruating a year or two sooner than girls who grew up with fathers.
Why?
Because a father absence indicates to
The offspring indicates to the children that you're in a chaotic, violent, and dangerous situation.
Why is the father absent?
Because there's war, because there's illness that maybe only strikes the fathers, because it's really dangerous hunting and men get wiped out all the time because they're trying to wrestle down saber-toothed tigers with brass knuckles.
So, you get the fathers out of the home.
You put children in a maternal-only environment and you give them access to sexual imagery or sexual conversations early, and that's R-selected genes right there.
And so, you know, the R-selected genes want all of that stuff, and the K-selective genes want fathers in the home, they want delay of sexual conversations and imagery, and so you get all of this, right?
So in ancient Rome, of course, they took a lot of males away for the empire, right?
So you take a lot of males away, and then you have a welfare state.
And when you have a welfare state, the women can make money having children, they don't need husbands around.
And when women have children without husbands around, without fathers around, a lot of times
Men will move in who are sexually abusive towards children and will prey upon the children, which again provokes the R-selected gene.
So it's just a big giant gene battle that goes back and forth.
And the genes that flourish under the conditions mentioned above are working to promote those conditions.
And the genes that work in the opposite situations, you know, father presence, delayed sexual exposure, and
and so on.
They are trying to set up those situations.
Ancient Rome carved a whole bunch of dads out of the situation.
There was a welfare state and so a father absence and early sexual exposure.
And of course the other thing too, when your mom is having a whole bunch of obviously fairly trashy men come through her bedroom, that's another situation that is disturbing for the children in many ways, but also then provokes this R-selected behavior.
So, yeah, ancient Rome, they just took the dads out, they put the welfare state in, and early sexual exposure for children.
Pornography was fairly big in ancient Rome.
I mean, you can just see some of those mosaics on the floor.
Right?
And all of that.
And of course, when you have a welfare state and you have father absence and premature sexual activity, you also end up with a lot of prostitutes and so on.
So yeah, they get sex obsessed for the same reason.
All right.
Someone says, I remember a girl I was dating today saying she wanted to be a breeding cow.
The relationship did not last long.
Yeah.
Unless she had nice udders, of course.
So why are women angry at children?
You guys are too smart.
Why are women angry at children?
Women kill babies when they're switching to another man.
In nature that will often happen.
They blame their kids for the loss of sexual market value.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Do some women hate their children because they never wanted them and they resent them after having used their body and sexuality to bag a man and get resources?
That certainly is also the case.
They hate children because they remind them of their abusive behavior and their hypocrisy?
No.
I mean, that's a bit circular, I would say, with all due respect.
They have to hate them first and then they treat them badly.
Monogamy but shared breastfeeding is useful to improve the microbiome?
Lack of gut diversity is an issue nowadays.
Do you think this could be an issue with monogamy that hasn't been addressed adequately?
Shared breastfeeding?
My god!
I don't even know what to say about that.
Children remind women of their mortality.
Well, yeah, but it's that they remind men of their mortality as well, right?
I remember, of course, looking at my daughter one day some years ago going, oh, yeah, she's here to replace me.
Oh, it's when she got better than me at Rocket League.
I'm like, oh, yeah, right.
She's here to replace me because I'm gonna die.
The only reason she exists is because I'm not going to, right?
At some point.
And I'm closer to that point than the beginning now.
So, I'll be 57 in a couple of months.
So, I'm very pleased about that, of course.
Post-cancer every year is a blessing.
So, yeah, so women are supposed to trade attention for love, right?
You understand, right?
Women are drawn to get attention.
And women, the reason that women are drawn to getting attention is that the more attention a woman gets,
Hit me with a why if you've ever been in a situation where people are bidding on something.
Like you've got a house and you've got multiple bids coming in.
You're trying to get a job and you've got multiple bids coming in.
Hit me with a why if you've ever been the beneficiary of a bidding war.
No?
Yes?
I mean, it could be in the dating situation as well.
Could be in a dating situation as well.
Now, of course, you understand that the more people who are bidding, the better you're going to be, right?
It happens on eBay.
Yeah, that's right.
So the more people who are bidding, the better off your outcome is, right?
And so a woman is programmed to get attention because the more attention she gets from a man, or from men, the more attention she gets from men, the more choice she has
in her mating partners.
And of course, the more choice she has in her mating partners, the better her mating partner is going to end up being.
So women are programmed to get attention, and then they have to pick, right?
So a woman, let's say she's 18, or I think that the highest sexual market value for women a lot of times is 22, right?
For a variety of reasons we don't have to get into here.
Okay, so let's say she's 22, but let me talk more historically.
So we have to go back to sort of 1819, right?
So 1819, and remember, way back in the day, like Middle Ages in Europe and so on, a lot of girls didn't get their periods till 16, 17 or even 18 years old.
So, because there was a lot of cultural strength and there was a monoculture, there was strong Christianity, there was Father Presence.
So the woman who's attractive or she's driven to get as much male attention as possible because let's say she gets 10 guys who want to marry her then she's, you know, going to do a whole lot better than a woman who has to settle for the only guy willing to marry her.
She can choose.
So women are driven to get attention, to provoke male attention, to stimulate male attention, to stimulate male desire and they get a great deal of pleasure out of that and then
When they have to pick, right?
They have to pick one of those men and they trade in attention for love, right?
They trade in clicks and likes for lifelong devotion.
You know, like that meme where the sort of Nordic Uber Chad is saying, this woman is saying to the Nordic Uber Chad, wait, so you're saying you'll work two jobs for the next 40 years to provide for me, the children and our family?
He's like, yes.
And, or there's in the mail, it's a picture of the Uber chat and the caption is, okay, hear me out.
It's like OnlyFans, but you only have one fan and it takes care of you for life, right?
So yes, she's supposed to trade in the attention for love, for commitment, for devotion.
And then when she has that love, that commitment, and that devotion, she's supposed to give up on the attention, right?
The attention is the drug, right?
And the love and the devotion is the cure, right?
Now,
The problem, of course, these days is that women stay in the gathering attention phase.
I just want to get attention, love to get attention.
This is why, do you know what one of the biggest red flags is for men?
They've done this survey, right?
Do you know what the biggest red flags are?
One of the biggest red flags for a man in the dating market?
Obesity, narcissism, yeah.
I've got this whole conversation.
Does she have Instagram?
Is she a social media influencer?
Does she have Instagram?
Because if she has Instagram, she's addicted to male attention.
Again, not 100%, but most likely, right?
She's addicted to male attention, which means she's not going to be able to settle down.
You're always going to be in competition with everybody else in the world.
One of the biggest red flags to date is a woman who's an influencer, who's online, who can't let go of that, can't focus on one man, because she's always going to be addicted to these dopamine likes, these dopamine clicks, and so on, right?
So, uh, why do women hate children?
Sometimes, again, most, you know, a lot of women love great moms and so on, but, but some men, I mean, I know this from my own, I mean, my mother was pretty explicit about hating me at times.
And the reason that she hated me was because she, her perception was that she was going to, she was just, she was going to be like Grace Kelly on the red carpet if she just didn't have these damn children.
Holding her down.
Just holding her back, holding her down, man.
She was just gonna have this absolutely wonderful, stellar, Audrey Hepburn life, except that, right?
And so, and in particular, if the husband is not around, if the man is not around, the husband is not around, then she wants male attention, but the male attention is crippled by the fact that she has children.
So children are in the way
of her getting a quality mate and so she hates the children because they kill her sexual market value.
Now of course if she's happily married and she loves her husband, her husband loves her, the children are a reflection of that love and blah blah blah, then she doesn't, she loves the children, right?
But if the children are between her and what she wants, which is a high quality mate, then she's gonna hate it.
Hate the kids a lot of times.
Alright.
Hello, Stefan.
If I am to email you, would it be fine to leave you a voicemail in addition a transcript for your convenience?
Sure.
Sure.
Just don't make it too long.
All right.
It's wild how some women think they can wait until 30 to pick and still get the same thing they would have gotten if they picked when they were 20.
That is in fact, I've got a, I've got a bookmark here.
Uh, it's pretty, it's pretty wild.
It's pretty wild.
Might take me a moment to get, but...
There was a reporter and she was saying, she was saying, you know, now I'm in my late thirties and, you know, I used to, when I was in my early twenties, me and my friends would date all these guys in their sort of late thirties or early forties.
And now I'm in my late thirties and, you know, all of the, all these guys want is younger women.
All the guys my own age just want younger women.
It's gross.
You know, and it's just like, I don't even know.
What you can say about that kind of stuff.
Like the absolutely blinding lack of self-awareness is just truly a force of nature.
So yeah, it's tough.
It's tough because one of the
You know, one of the terrible things that happens in life is there's a phase when you're very young that you think other people want what you want.
You know, I'm like, oh, I really want reason and evidence.
I'm sure other people will want reason and evidence too.
I want objective morality.
Gee, I'm sure everybody deep down wants it.
It's like, no, no, no, no, no.
That's not the case at all.
The world is divided into those with a good conscience and those with a bad conscience, and they want absolutely opposite things.
And the reconciliation is almost never in the realm of language.
So, for women, they think that men want, like they're told, to be a strong, independent woman, right?
Now, why?
Because they're attracted to strong, independent men, so they imagine that men are attracted to strong, independent women.
Which is, you know, I don't know, like saying, well, I'm attracted to penises and therefore men must also be attracted to penises.
It's like, well, yes, there are men who are attracted to penises, but they may not be the very best providers for you and your children.
So, yeah, it's a wild thing.
So they go, women say, well, I want to get a guy who's educated.
So they go and get educated.
And I want a guy with a good career.
So they go and get a good career.
And they don't ask men what they want.
What they want, right?
Female erotica has stories.
Male erotica does not.
Alright, dear Steph, thank you for your donations.
If a question comes to the donation, absolutely not necessary, but very much appreciated.
Dear Steph, thank you for all you do.
Not quite sure if this is a moral question, but hugely appreciated if you could provide your thoughts.
How does a couple arrive at a win-win situation where one partner wants to remain one child family only and the other wants more children?
It was hard the first couple of years and my husband does not want a repeat of that.
I, on the other hand, see the wonderfulness our child has brought and I want more.
Thank you for your input.
Right.
Right.
Would you like me to give you the speech that will get you pregnant?
Would you like to hear me orally impregnate a woman?
Hit me with a why.
If you would like to hear the immaculate conception of oral activity producing a child.
It's time for Steph to make some babies.
H L H L H. Is that what that?
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
So.
My friend.
My friend.
Cue this up.
Cue this up and sit your husband down in front.
Listen.
Okay, man to man, right?
What are we built for?
As men, we are built to provide and to protect.
You have a child.
Wonderful.
That's great.
Congratulations.
I have a child.
I have only one child, but I had the maximum children that nature could provide.
So,
You have a child, and I love you to death, I think you're wonderful, I'm sure you're into peaceful parenting and philosophy, and for that I adore you from now until the end of time.
However, there may be one little speed bump or one little hiccup that you have not thought about.
See, you know, when you're a dad, sometimes you come home, you're exhausted, you have a headache, and your child wants you to join in the
Trumpets, xylophone, and tin drum band, and what do you do?
Well, you're a dad, so you sit down, you put a grin on your face, and you join the cymbals and tin drum band, and you just grin and bear it, right?
And there are times when you wake up feeling a little unwell, and your child is using you as a trampoline, because they're just overjoyed and excited to see you, and what do you do?
You smile, you give your child a hug, and you forget your discomfort, and you get going, right?
I mean, I had parents when I had chemo and radiation therapy, and you just, I don't want to say suck it up, and you do it.
You do.
You do it, right?
There are times when it feels like your children are a bunch of jackals ripping apart the carcass formerly known as your wallet and savings, and you just watch that money go, and you let that money go, and my daughter is now into dresses and is going to dances, and is being asked to dance by a seemingly endless series of boys, which I think is very nice.
But she went from being tomboy vicinity, tomboy adjacent, to now spending a good deal of time looking at dresses and wanting me to come out and look at dresses.
So what do I do?
I go out and I look at dresses and I give her comments and of course she's lovely and I'm pleased to do it.
But you know...
If I wasn't a dad, I wouldn't exactly be going out to do that sort of stuff.
So you do that which is best for your children.
So look, I understand.
I totally understand.
We had some tough times with my daughter when she was very young.
She was not a sleeper.
She was endlessly active.
She never liked to sit.
She never liked to sit with you.
You always had to
Fly her around and show her things.
And she had, you know, just a brain like Pac-Man, just had defeated endless dots and so on.
And she didn't sleep.
Honestly, if you got two hours in a row, you were lucky.
So I get all of that.
And the idea of doing that again is obviously tough.
You had a high stimulus bell curve.
Baby, the odds of you having that again are very low.
You're probably going to have something closer to the middle where, you know, I was talking to a friend of mine.
She's just had a baby a couple of weeks ago and, you know, baby slept six hours straight, like in the first
Within the first couple of weeks and sleeping through, you're most likely going to have a baby like that.
So, again, you're probably fearing a repetition of something that's very unlikely to repeat.
But here's the thing, my friend.
Here's the thing.
Look.
While I get you may be battle-scarred and jumpy and maybe have a little PBST, you know, post-baby traumatic syndrome, PBTS, and
What you need to do, though, is you need to remember what it is to be a father in every dimension.
So what it is to be a father is to act in the very best interest of your child.
Now.
I want you to think of your child as your child gets older.
Now you have a single child, an only child.
As your child gets older, you guys get older, you get sick, you get needy, and all of that is going to fall on one child.
All of that is going to fall on one child.
She won't be able to share the burden.
She won't be able to lighten the load.
That's number one.
Number two.
She will go through life relatively alone.
I'm going to assume gender here.
She will go through life relatively alone.
You know, one of the beautiful things about siblings is that siblings are the only people who go through the whole of life's journey with you.
You know, I have friends, great friends, but they weren't around when I was a kid.
None of the people who are around when I was a kid are in my life now.
Like not one.
And it's kind of sad.
It's a bit of a tragedy because to have people go through all of life with you and remember what it was like when you were young, and remember the parents when your parents were young, and to remember all the things that shaped you to have access to all of that information, all of that wisdom, all of that experience, all of that history.
It's a pretty beautiful thing.
It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
So you are, by not having another child, if you can, you can, I guess your wife's saying you can,
You are practically condemning your child to go through life with significantly more solitude than she would otherwise have.
So you have the chance to provide your child with a companion that goes all the way through life.
A companion to share the load, to share the burdens, a companion to have the memories of childhood, to have the forces that shaped you, and people who will be around, who will remember you after you're gone, when you were young, and keep that memory alive.
You are taking from your child the companionship of, you know, siblings will often have, I mean, you know, they'll be a couple of years apart of course, but siblings will graduate from high school roughly around the same time, they'll often get married roughly around the same time, they'll often have children roughly around the same time, and so you are denying your daughter
The chance to go through life and mark major milestones, often at the same time as her sibling.
You're denying her the chance for that cross wisdom that can occur with you have different talents and abilities, but the same moral instruction.
There's a real cross pollination and cross reference.
That's just beautiful to see.
You are denying your grandchildren.
cousins and nieces and all kinds of wonderful family connections.
You are denying a man or a woman a wonderful spouse, a wonderful husband and or wife in the future.
And what you need to do, I think, is not say just, do I want another child?
I get that's important and I'm not trying to override that or destroy that.
But what I am saying is that
As, as fathers, as fathers, you know the equation as well as I do.
I'm just reminding you of something you already know.
So please take this in the positive spirit in which I absolutely completely and totally intend it.
It's not up to you.
It's not up to you.
You know, when you, when your baby was little, your baby was a week old or two weeks old and you know, you're tired or your wife's tired or whatever.
It's not up to you whether you get up or not.
It's defined by what's best for the baby.
It's not up to you.
It's defined by what's best for the baby.
When my daughter was young, as I've mentioned before, and she wanted to have candy and not have vegetables and so on, I would say to her,
My judgment about what I do is informed, of course, by general principles, but it's also informed by what you'll thank me for later, right?
So I said, let's say that I let you have all the candy you want, you never need to exercise, you never whatever, right?
Then you will get fat and unhealthy, and then I will deliver you to adulthood fat and unhealthy.
Now, when you are
An adult, or even in your teens, if you're fat and unhealthy, you'll be less attractive to boys.
Will you thank me?
Will you say, you know what?
That was a really great deal.
All those candies I had 10 years ago, the fact that my health is compromised, I'm obese, I have bad skin, and I have now a lifelong struggle with my weight because, you know, fat cells never
Disappear they they just can shrink.
That's about it, right?
So you now have a lifelong struggle with your weight Would you sit there and say dad, you know, I think that was like I'm having trouble connecting with boys I feel bad in a bathing suit.
I don't want to go to pool parties I just feel ashamed or whatever it is because a lot of people who do who are overweight do feel that way
But, you know, it was totally worth it because I really had a great time with those candies 10 years ago.
I said, you wouldn't, you were not going to say that to me.
You're not going to say that to me.
You're going to say, Dad, why?
Why did you let me eat all that candy?
You were supposed to be the person in charge.
You're supposed to be the person who can see down the tunnel of time.
And so I say, look, I'm going to have to say no to the candy.
And I promise, I promise you that you'll thank me later.
I promise you that you will thank me later.
It's what's best for you.
When it comes to whether you have another child, you're thinking about you.
And I understand that.
Again, it can be tough in the early years for sure, but it's tougher on your wife and she wants to do it.
So there's that, right?
The fundamental question is.
When you're, let's say you have one child, will your child say, when your child is 20, will your child say, I'm really glad I don't have a sibling to go through life with who's going to remember me as a baby, as a child, as a kid?
No, your child's not going to say that.
Your child is going to say, it would be great to have a sibling.
And maybe your child doesn't say that at the moment.
Cause you know, three is kind of a selfish time, which doesn't mean that it's selfish morally.
It just means that it's kind of graspy as I talked about a podcast or two ago.
But it's not about what you want, it's about what's best for your kid.
And in general, particularly in a peaceful parented household, because I know a lot of people, a lot of my friends have more than one kid, they're all peaceful parents, of course, the sibling relationships are fantastic.
And here they say, well, you know, it's so time consuming this, that, and the other.
You understand, right?
The longer you wait, the more time consuming it's going to be.
Cause if you have kids closer together, they can play with each other.
They can cancel each other out.
You can get things done.
And you know, I can say this as a father, stay at home dad of a single kid who we both enjoy each other's company enormously.
I mean, it's a lot of time.
It's a lot of time that you have to spend, which you wouldn't have to spend if they can play with a sibling.
So think about the course of your child's life.
Your child's going to live for 80 to 90 years.
Over the course of that life, will your daughter want a sibling?
Will your son want a sibling?
Will they want a brother or sister?
Or more?
The answer is, absolutely they will.
You do what is best for your children.
What's best for your children is to have siblings, if possible.
And I say this, you know, with the ache of having only one child, but what's best for your children is to have siblings.
You're going to get wiped out by time and then the only person left from the immediate family will be the siblings.
And here's the other thing too, look, especially if you're raising your child peaceful parenting style, reason and evidence style, negotiation style, how tough is it going to be for them to go through life without another kid by their side, a sibling by their side, who's been raised the same way, that they can confide in, that they can
Have conversation with, that they can remember you with, that they can gain sustenance and courage in the challenging life of children raised peacefully in an increasingly insane world.
They will have safe harbor in each other.
And they will have reinforcements.
Because you are going to create a certain amount of isolation in your child just by raising your child rationally and peacefully.
You're going to create isolation in that child.
If your child is alone and has been raised in a manner vastly different, if not downright oppositional to everyone else around, that's a lot of solitude, man.
That is a lot of solitude.
That's a lot of loneliness to deal with.
She or he has a sibling, they have a companion.
Or siblings, plural, even better.
They have a companion to go through life with, they have companions to go through life with.
You have created not somebody who's isolated by being raised peacefully and reasonably, but somebody who has a tribe, who has companions, who have people who understand the situation and will always be with them and they will never be alone.
I think it's actually quite cruel.
If you can have more than one, if you're into peaceful parenting and you can have more than one child, but you don't, I think it's kind of cruel.
And I absolutely know it's not in the best interest of the child.
So again, I, I sympathize with, and I deeply understand how difficult it was with the first child.
The second child is easier, far easier.
And is it better for your child to have a lifelong blood-related companion or companions in the journey of life?
Is it better for your child to have siblings?
Especially because your child is raised in direct opposition to the crazy standards around in the world.
It's basically a syllogism.
Get it?
Syllogism.
It's a very, very subtle joke there.
But no, basically it's a syllogism.
And the syllogism is this.
As fathers, we must do what is in the best interest of our child.
It is in the best interest of our children, particularly if they're raised peacefully, it is in the best interest of our children to have siblings.
Therefore, you must provide siblings.
I mean, I wish it were more complicated than that.
I'm sort of making the case as to why it's so important.
But that's it, man.
It's kind of out of your hands.
So take it out of your hands and put it in your wife, right?
So it's kind of out of your hands.
What is best for your child is to have siblings.
Which I would say would be less important if they were just raised in the general anti-childism, or the childist nature, bigotry against children, childism, or to be childish, childist, yeah, childist, anti-child.
If they were just raised in the general group of hostility towards children, that would be one thing, because they could just find other people like themselves, but you're creating a unique child in peaceful parenting,
And to have a unique child without a blood companion raised in the same way is kind of rough, man.
Will your child, growing up, realizing how sane the family is, how crazy the world is, how solitary they feel, will they say, yeah, it's really great, I don't have any siblings?
Will they say that?
Of course they won't.
Of course they won't.
I mean it almost comes down to, and I know this is a strong way of putting it, but I just want to tell you at least how emphatically I view this, that it's almost, it's very close to a moral obligation.
I mean I know this is like the least sexy thing known to man.
Hey honey, time for us to fulfill our moral obligations to Barry White with the lava lamp.
But it is very close to a moral obligation to provide your child that you've raised in a manner that's going to lead to solitariness and loneliness at times.
If you have the capacity to provide a lifelong companion to your child that you're raising in opposition to your culture, it is almost as important as peaceful parenting.
If you have the capacity to erase the loneliness and provide a lifelong companion
Through the solitary aspect of life known as thinking rationally and peacefully.
If you accept that, right?
If, again, putting the jism in syllogism, but if you accept that, say, well, you have to act in a manner that is best for your child, best for your children.
You have to act in a manner that is best for your children.
It is best for your children to have siblings.
I mean, that's.
You either have to reject that you act, you have to give siblings, you have to have more children, or you have to say, it's not in the best interest of your children to have siblings.
Or you have to say, I don't want to act in the best interest of my children.
Now I couldn't live with the first one.
I fully accept the second and therefore go forth and multiply.
With all due respect and sympathy for the suffering that occurred, but you have to act in a way that's best for your children.
All right.
I hope that helps.
Let's get to your comments.
Philosophical immaculate conception.
Yeah, that's right.
Didn't think you could get pregnant orally.
Yeah, it would be tough, right?
Fertilize the eggs.
Trust the science.
All right.
I think I'm pregnant.
First child I had, I realized I was not only a mom, but a friend.
Second time around, I had Irish twins.
Two kids, 15 months apart.
They are my Hansel and Gretel.
I wish I had known before how much easier it is to have more than one child.
Oh, absolutely.
You know, absolutely.
For sure.
For sure.
For sure.
For sure.
Um, my sister is one year older than me.
We used to be close, but she is a normie and agrees with mandates and experimental vaccines.
Difficult to me to do anything without her approval as she was always my role model.
It's hard to stomach.
If we weren't sisters, we wouldn't be friends.
A year is too close together.
Well, it could be, but were you raised peacefully, privately?
Did you get homeschooled?
Were you exposed to a great community?
Do you have, was it peaceful parenting all the way around and so on, right?
So.
All right.
Hit me with a why if I did say after an hour I was going to go to only for supporters, which I'm happy to do that.
So hit me with a why if you would like me to do that.
We can just go straight to donors and have a little bit more of a jazz club private conversation.
Or we can just keep going with the general chat and flow, but I leave it up to you.
