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May 2, 2023 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

53:03

The Three Words You NEED TO SUCCEED!

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	Hi, good day. How are you?
	I'm well, thanks. Awesome.
	Well, I mean, it's one thing I have to kind of say.
	It's like I've kind of really tried to follow your example when it comes to peaceful parenting.
	And that's something I've taken to heart for, you know, a couple years.
	And I've been really focusing on, you know, homeschooling my daughter and doing what's right and kind of not doing, you know, what Okay, did you not hear the thing?
	I don't know if you were here, but I just said, if you're going to talk to me, please try and hold still so I don't get the rattle crash boom bang in my ear.
	Yeah, I'm so sorry. I was just moving to a more private place.
	Sorry about that. So yeah, I mean, I just kind of want to put that down first.
	I've really kind of been trying to follow that and implement that when I've been teaching martial arts for years.
	I've been teaching children and anything, and I've been really trying to forward that message.
	And then...
	Well, like I'm saying, now I have my child.
	We're homeschooling and everything.
	And I'm just in this predicament, again, where I'm kind of like what you're talking about.
	I'm tempted about my values, right?
	So right now I'm in this really tough spot in the sense that I lost my main source of work, my main source of income.
	Other than that, I don't get what I'm doing wrong.
	I've been so consistent.
	I'm trying to build content.
	I'm trying to forward myself as a fitness consultant.
	All I make is content in that regard.
	I'm trying to put myself out there.
	I give away free value.
	With the other jobs, it's their commissions.
	It's been really hard.
	I've been learning more, but I'm not really making money like that.
	All of a sudden, I'm in the air again where I just don't know what the fuck to do.
	And as a man, I feel like if I'm in a position like this, I'm like, oh, look, you're a man.
	You inherently have no value unless you're producing money, really.
	There's a lot of value I give until the money's not there.
	Does that make sense? Too vague for me to do much helpful stuff.
	What happened to your primary source of income?
	Well... I mean, I've been working remotely and doing different jobs, like a social media evaluator, data collection, AI evaluation, and yeah, I guess it's just kind of been on and off, and the jobs have been getting more and more scarce, so I've just been doing a whole bunch of different things for, I guess, the past year.
	But in that way, I've been able to kind of, like, when COVID happened, I was able to Just not go with it.
	I was in the Dominican Republic where COVID started, and it came to a point where I couldn't even buy food or water unless you got vaccinated, and I didn't do it, and I stuck with my values, and I was all right, and now I'm back to full circle.
	And it's just like, oh, it's like even the people around me, it's like, what could you do?
	Get a government job, and that's the only way, and I reject doing a government job.
	I guess I'm just pretty desperate.
	I don't know. Well, how competent would you say, 1 to 10, how competent are you at what you do?
	Well, in regards to how I've been pushing myself a fitness instructor, 1 to 10, I would say 10.
	10 because when I go to gyms, and I've been helping gyms, I've been teaching their trainers.
	I've been teaching their trainers how to have more classes, how to promote their products.
	I've been teaching them how to market themselves better.
	Granted, it's like when it comes to the marketing, it's something that I've been learning now as of recently.
	But when it comes to teaching people, to teaching trainers, to creating systems, like when I get clients, like right now, I just started putting myself out there to get personal clients.
	I have like a couple clients I do remotely, and I have like one physical client here.
	And like, oh, yeah, they love me.
	It's immediate.
	Like I have no issues. Like once I kind of put myself out there, I'm not trying to sound conceited, but I think I'm like the best of the best.
	Because, like, I've worked with, like, I've worked in top gyms in New York.
	I've trained elite fighters.
	I've trained, like, again, kids as young as three to complex professional athletes.
	And, yeah, that's kind of where I'm at in that regard.
	But in, like, marketing or something like that, like, I'm just kind of starting off.
	I've started off working with this marketing company, but I'm just working as a sales rep.
	And it's been really tough to push their product because...
	Things like the whole money situation.
	If you go on LinkedIn, you need LinkedIn sales pro, and that's $50 a month, $80 a month just to go with that.
	I'm like, I'll probably do better, but I'm just kind of doing the best I can.
	Okay, sorry. I need to interrupt you because telling me all the things that aren't working, if you're a fitness instructor and people tell you all the things that they have done that haven't worked at some point, you interrupt them and say, well, here's what you need to do, right?
	Okay, so the reason I ask how competent do you feel that you are, and it sounds like you're very good at what you do, congratulations, it's wonderful, and it also sounds like your clients agree with you that you're great at what you do, right? Yes.
	Okay, so my question is why don't you get word-of-mouth business or more word-of-mouth business If you're really good, like if you really help someone lose weight and look great, people are going to say, wow, you lost weight, you look great, how did you do it?
	Oh, so-and-so, right?
	Are you asking your clients to refer people to you?
	Yeah, I mean, like, well, right now, like I kind of mentioned, I'm in the Dominican Republic, and No, but you say you do it remotely, right?
	Whether it's AI analysis or whatever.
	I understand. Whatever you're doing remotely, are you gathering testimonials?
	Are you publishing them on your website?
	And are you asking, if not downright begging people?
	To refer people to.
	Yeah, I've been on that as of recently.
	Like I'm saying, I've been producing more content.
	I'm putting it out there. I'm just like, that's all I do.
	No, no, no. Okay, take a deep breath.
	Listen to me. Listen to me. I didn't ask you if you're producing more content.
	What did I ask? You asked me if I'm asking for referrals.
	Right. Are you asking for referrals?
	Yeah. So that's what I mean.
	Recently, I acquired one actual physical client, and I started working with them last week.
	Okay, listen, I'm sorry, I have to interrupt you.
	I'm not asking for a personal anecdote.
	I'm asking you, and listen, if you're not spending an hour or more a day emailing people and asking for referrals, asking for testimonials, that's really great news because it means there's something you can do that can change things.
	Like on my donation page, I have a whole blog post with, I don't know, like a hundred testimonials about how this show has helped people.
	I don't solicit them, but people send them in.
	And when I get some, if I remember, I'll sort of post them.
	So, if you are providing personal services, most of your business will come from word-of-mouth referrals.
	So, if you're not asking people and saying, hey, would you agree?
	I did a great job. Could you do me a solid?
	Could you just spend five minutes, write me an email?
	And also, if there's anyone that you ever know who could use my services, I'm going to send you my card if you could forward it to them.
	Again, I super appreciate it.
	Thank you so much. If you do this, I'll give you a 10% discount on your next whatever.
	Like, whatever it is, right? Can you enroll or enlist people who care about you and appreciate your services into giving you referrals or giving you testimonials?
	Yeah, I guess I could do that more actively.
	Okay, so that would be my prescription for you is to generate word of mouth.
	Updating your website, putting out new material, that's fine.
	But people aren't going to come across your website generally.
	What they will do is they'll notice things that their friends are doing and ask them how they did it.
	You know, like if all my friends were bald and hated being bald and I showed up with a full thick head of hair, what's the first question they would ask me?
	How do you get that here?
	Yeah, dude! What happened?
	Are you switching? Like, what are you doing, right?
	So, if you are...
	Please remind...
	This is for everyone out there.
	Please remind your customers to give testimonials and to refer where appropriate.
	And you can offer them benefits or bonuses for doing that.
	I'm sure that's fine.
	But... A lot of your business is going to come through word of mouth.
	I mean, advertising will help, but if people come to your website, they really need to see testimonials, in my view.
	And I've been a director of marketing, and you have to get people to work for you to generate your business.
	It's word of mouth.
	Now, if it's some hyper-competitive thing, maybe not, right?
	Like if people don't want to share you as a secret.
	But, you know, if some guy gets fit and healthy and his friends are impressed and they want to get fit and healthy, then the guy, he's not going to lose anything.
	In fact, he'll gain fit and healthy friends to exercise with or play sports with or whatever, right?
	So you've got to enroll people into helping you with your business.
	Now, in return, you can also help people with their business.
	So if you, you know, you train a guy who's an accountant, Then you say to him, hey, listen, man, send me your card, e-card or whatever it is, and if I ever come across another client who's looking for an accountant, I will be sure to give him your name.
	So do it for other people.
	And then, like, you need to create this network of people who cross-pollinate and cross-promote each other's goods and services.
	Yeah, that's kind of like the core of my problem is, like, the networking because I, you know, I've Post-COVID, I kind of just locked myself in, and I was just doing this online job.
	And, like, what I'm saying is, like, over here, it was – when it was locked down, I mean, like, there were soldiers patrolling the street with guns, making sure nobody violated the 12-game curve.
	You know, and then, like, I went back to the U.S. all of a sudden, you know, and then the network I was around was, like, my girl's family, and we were in this spot in New Jersey where – And the network was, oh, just wasn't very helpful.
	So then I came back to the Dominican Republic.
	I've been all active on all these things and, you know, kind of slowly expanding my network.
	But then this kind of predicament just hit me.
	It's like, well, I'm working on all these other things.
	All right. All right. I got to interrupt you again.
	As a personal trainer, if somebody comes in flabby and out of shape, how long do you want to hear about their excuses?
	I guess I'd listen to them and just go, all right, let's just get started.
	Right, so I've given you a million dollar piece of business advice here, right?
	Yeah. And what was your response?
	I got to get started.
	No, no, what was your actual response to me?
	Oh, that I should be more active in reaching out to my network.
	Do you remember? You complained...
	And you made excuses. Well, there was COVID and there were people in the streets enforcing things and then I went to the States and it didn't kind of...
	So then I came back and...
	Right? So what you gave to me was a bunch of...
	I mean, frankly, it's kind of whiny and kind of excuses.
	Now, that is not...
	If you want to be an entrepreneur, you need relentless enthusiasm.
	Like if you call me up and I have 30 years entrepreneurial experience and I've built at least two very successful businesses.
	So if you call me up and I give you free advice, which I'm happy to do, which allows you to turn your business around and gives you a path to success.
	And if the first thing that you provide to me is complaints and excuses, How enthusiastic are people going to be to help you if you're not enthusiastic about them helping you?
	Yeah, you're right.
	That makes sense. And I'm not trying to nag you or anything like that.
	But if you had said to me, oh my gosh, a light just went on in my head.
	I totally get it.
	I've got to be promoting other people's business.
	I've got to ask for testimonials.
	I've got to ask people to promote my business.
	That's the way forward. That's something I can do.
	Thank you. Whatever, right? That would be like, oh, yes.
	Beautiful. Go forth and multiply, right?
	As opposed to, you kind of did a lot of ignoring what I said, and you made excuses and complained about COVID. Now, I can't do shit about COVID, my friend.
	I can't do anything about people on the street with guns enforcing lockdowns.
	What I can do is tell you how to grow your business.
	And I'm going to keep growing the business, obviously.
	It's just more that, well...
	I'm just put in this situation.
	I'm like, okay, I know that I'm going to keep growing the business.
	I still have to keep producing the content.
	I have to keep marketing my services.
	I have to go do the testimonials.
	I have to keep forwarding.
	But then that doesn't change the fact that it's like, all right, I still have to kind of find something else on the side or potentially just leave to a place with an odd network.
	Sorry, I just tell you how to grow your business.
	And what you're telling me is it doesn't matter because it's not going to work.
	No, I'm saying it's going to work.
	It's more, well, I guess you're right.
	Maybe I'm just bitching too much.
	Listen, I understand.
	Look, COVID has been difficult.
	Trust me. The last couple of years have been an endless conveyor belt of shit sandwiches for everyone.
	Do you know what an incredible opportunity that is?
	So, everyone's ground down by COVID and crazy government responses, right?
	Now, if you are able to find your enthusiasm and positivity, you will be like a supernova in the night sky.
	Whereas if you're just like everyone else, complaining and whining and making excuses and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I say this, you know, because you're a tough guy, right?
	Martial arts, you don't mind some straight talk, right?
	So if you just get ground down like everyone else, then you'll be ignored just like everyone else because people are desperate for some positivity.
	People are desperate for some enthusiasm.
	You know, like I'm doing my live streams, I'm yelling about philosophy and ripping off my shirt.
	I have not dropped one ounce of enthusiasm about philosophy since I started.
	I'm more enthusiastic now than when I started.
	And I'm trying to give you a million-dollar idea...
	And you won't accept it graciously.
	You won't say that there's anything positive in it.
	You continue to complain and say it's not going to work because you say, well, I'm going to still have to find something on the side and this and that and the other, right?
	Because you've been ground down by COVID, by life, by childhood, whatever, right?
	And I sympathize with that.
	I really do. I'm not saying that you don't have good reason to be ground down.
	But if you want to be an entrepreneur, maybe this is why people are saying that you should work for the government because you're already ground down.
	But if you want to be an entrepreneur and you don't want to be enthusiastic, you're asking for a square circle.
	You have to be enthusiastic, excited, and positive.
	Now, if you've never thought of promoting other people's business, getting testimonials, getting people to promote your business, whatever it is that you do, Then that's something that's a way out.
	Now, when I give someone a way out and they say, but COVID, but lockdowns, but people in the streets, but moving, but, right?
	If you say to someone who, I say, I really, really want to lose weight and I want to gain muscle mass and you say, well, you have to eat less and exercise.
	And then they say, But I live in a small apartment and I don't have money for a gym membership and my mom delivers my groceries and I can't choose what I... If all they give you is excuses and complaints...
	Somebody with a small space?
	That's easy. You don't need a lot of space.
	You don't even need equipment.
	You can do it on a couch edge.
	You can do your isometric exercises.
	I've done workouts in tiny hotel rooms.
	Do you have a place for a push-up and a sit-up?
	You're good to go, man. But if people say to you, I'm desperate to lose weight and gain muscle, and you tell them, hey, just do this, and the first thing they do is tell you why they can't do it, what do you do?
	Well, you've got to change your mind about it.
	This is your perspective.
	Well, you don't have to. You can do anything you want, but don't tell me that you really want to lose weight and gain muscle.
	And then just give me excuses and ignore my solutions.
	Because you're kind of putting me in it.
	It's like an impossible situation and that means that you feel that you're in an impossible situation.
	Because you're saying, I'm really desperate.
	I've got to grow my business. And I say, well, here's a million-dollar idea to grow your business.
	And you give me complaints and excuses.
	Okay, do you really want to grow your business?
	There's something else going on.
	I don't know what that something else is going on.
	But it's the mindset that you have to deal with.
	It's not anything practical.
	You're a smart guy. You've built a business.
	You're very disciplined martial artist, exercise guy.
	I'm sure you eat like a monk.
	Beautiful. So you've got every ingredient that you need for success except the mindset.
	Do you know what the mindset is to succeed?
	It's very simple. It's three tiny little words that blast through everything.
	It's three tiny little words.
	You ready? You ready for the three tiny little words that grant you the magical power of infinite success?
	Here are your three words, brother.
	Get ready. You're about to lose your eyebrows.
	Here are the three words to succeed.
	Find a way!
	Find a way! Be relentless.
	Don't stop. The world will constantly put obstacles in front of you.
	Always, always, always the world will put obstacles in front of you.
	You find a way.
	This road is blocked.
	Go out through here. This door is locked.
	Find a key. Find another.
	Go through the wall if you have to.
	Find a way. If you really want to exercise and you're in a small apartment, what do you do?
	You find a way. You look up on YouTube, exercising, or, you know, look it up on Rumble.
	Fuck YouTube, right?
	You look it up on Rumble and you say, exercising in small spaces, and you can get 50 exercises for small spaces.
	Find a way! Now, if you don't really want to exercise, then you'll talk about it, and then people will give you solutions, and then you'll just ignore them or complain or say it's not possible or your shoulder hurts or whatever, right?
	You know, I saw a guy doing overhead weightlifting.
	He had one arm.
	He found a way. Find a way.
	Find a way.
	I get banned from here.
	I'll try something else. I get deplatformed from here.
	I do something else, right?
	I can't give speeches. I'll do documentaries.
	I can't do documentaries. I'll write books.
	I can't. Okay. Find a way.
	Find a way. I was raised with where there's a will, there's a way.
	That's another one. YouTube is oversaturated, so I could just go and rumble.
	50 exercises for small spaces.
	Whatever. Or, here's the thing.
	If you're having trouble overcoming your lethargy...
	Look, COVID has coached everyone into staying home, watching Netflix, and sinking their ass into a couch cushion.
	It has promoted lethargy...
	And apathy like nothing else.
	People have put their entire lives on hold for years and, you know, an object that is in motion tends to stay in motion.
	An object that's at rest tends to stay at rest.
	So people have let their lives stop over COVID. And then, guess what?
	They have a pretty tough time getting their lives started again.
	You know, if you leave your If you leave your bike parked in the rain for five years, it's going to be pretty tough to bike away with it because it's all rusted and shit.
	So people have said, okay, well, and with some relief, they have retreated from the challenges of life.
	Oh, well, there's lockdowns.
	Oh, there's this. Oh, there's that.
	I guess I'll just play another video game.
	I guess I'll watch another Netflix series or whatever, right?
	And there's some relief in that.
	Like, okay, whatever, right?
	And now that the...
	Red tide of regulation is beginning to recede.
	People are finding it kind of tough to get back in motion again.
	I understand that. I sympathize.
	I really do. But I'm only here talking to you because I try to embody find a way.
	I got banned from more platforms than most people could count or know about.
	Still talking, aren't I? Find a way!
	Don't let crap stop you.
	Don't let lethargy, inertia, being ground down.
	That's inevitable. You know, life is every time you do anything, you've got 10,000 people telling you you should have done it different.
	Especially if you're on the internet, right?
	I put out the art of the argument.
	People are like, oh, this is terrible.
	You missed this. You missed that. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Shut up. Go write your own book if you're so concerned, right?
	Every time you do anything...
	You've got 10,000 people screaming from the sidelines that you should have done it different.
	All the armchair quarterbacks and Monday morning quarterbacks and all the people who are like, well, I don't actually do anything in my life, but if I did, I'd do it way better than you!
	It's just this Greek chorus of pathetic inertia.
	And people who get off on criticizing others Rather than doing anything themselves.
	It's how they get a sense of achievement.
	Well, I haven't done shit with...
	I'm not talking about you, obviously.
	I'm talking about the people who criticize, people who do stuff.
	Well, I haven't done shit with my life, but I can sure shit on anyone who's done anything or tried anything.
	It's like, you failed!
	Yeah, but I tried. I've learned from my failure.
	I'm not destroyed by my failure because failure is most of life.
	I mean, I've said this before.
	Two of the greatest writers, I mean really argue, the greatest writer of novels is Charles Dickens, the greatest playwright and poet is William Shakespeare.
	Now of Charles Dickens novels, he wrote over 50 novels, maybe five to seven of them are classics.
	In other words, Charles Dickens, the greatest prose writer In the world, not just in English, in the world, the number one guy, the top G of novels, had a 70-80% failure rate.
	Shakespeare wrote dozens and dozens of plays, hundreds of sonnets.
	Of his many plays, maybe, again, 7, 8, arguably perhaps 10.
	So he's got a failure rate of 70-80%.
	The very best in the world.
	And when I say a failure rate, what I mean is, of course, I mean, the non-canonical, the non-classic Dickens novels are still great, but they're mostly read because of his most famous novels.
	So, people who, well, you failed, it's like, yeah.
	Yes. But...
	I'm not failing to try.
	There is only one failure in life and that is the failure to try.
	That's all there is. The people who are doing things will always be criticized by the do-nothing Asperger's of the planet who come and go like tumbleweeds in the night leaving barely an impression on the empty sand of their absence.
	But what they try to do is they try to have an impact by having you internalize their bullshit.
	Steph, you did a bad show.
	Ah, let's see your shows.
	Well, I don't have any. Okay.
	A bad show is better than no show.
	A bad date is better than no date.
	A failure is better than a failure to act.
	Infinitely better. You can have a better girlfriend.
	Where's your girlfriend? I don't have one.
	So, just have enthusiasm, and you have to have, and you know this as a trainer, You know this is a martial arts teacher?
	Find a way! Well, I don't have room to exercise.
	Find a way. And here's the thing.
	So what people do is they say, I have this huge problem.
	Give me a solution. And you give them a solution and they say, yeah, but I can't do it because of this.
	You give them another solution. Yeah, I can't, but blah, blah, blah.
	And they're just trying to trap you into their paralyzed world.
	No, I don't go there.
	Find a way! You're a smart guy.
	You listen to this show. I'm going to put you in the top 1% of intelligence.
	Find a way. If you have that will, you wake up with that will in the morning.
	Find a way! You are heads and shoulders above 99.99% of the population who they hit an obstacle and they stop.
	Oh my God, there's a speed bump in the road.
	I have to abandon the car.
	They hit an obstacle and they stop.
	They hit an obstacle and they stop.
	The people who succeed find a way.
	I mean, I both get angry at and enjoy the presence of obstacles.
	Yes, there are obstacles in life.
	Are you going to let that stop you?
	Well, if you do, then you're kind of a parasite on all the people who don't.
	Like, you know, I have a tablet, right, that I'm doing the show on.
	I have that tablet because I'm sure in the creation of this tablet, the design, the manufacturing, the distribution, the maintenance, whatever, there were all kinds of problems.
	They could have just said, oh, to hell, but this tablet's too difficult.
	Or this microphone, or the place I live in.
	There were lots of problems.
	Lots of issues, lots of challenges.
	And we live in a world defined and created and maintained by people who just find a way to make things happen.
	You don't think, like you have a piece of corn on the cob, right?
	You have a nice ear of corn, right?
	You don't think that the farmer at times hated farming and was just really ground down by it and the crops were bad and the insurance wasn't working and The weather was terrible and the pesticides were late and the manure was like, but he managed to get you the corn so you can, so you live and I live on all the backs of the people who find a way and then we say, well, but I get stopped by this or I get stopped by that.
	It's like, well, geez, can you imagine if the people who produced our electricity and our roads and our gasoline and our cars and our airplanes and our food and our water, do you think what would life be like if those people gave up?
	We'd be dead in a couple of days.
	So we only survive on the people who find a way.
	Be one of those people who finds a way.
	Be one of those people who finds a way.
	I mean, I've had more shit thrown at me than the least popular monkey in a troop with diarrhea.
	I'm still going. Find a way.
	Accept that you're going to get a bunch of shit thrown at you.
	Find a way forward. Yeah, COVID sucked.
	And COVID is a great opportunity because it grounds so many people down that anyone who steps forward with enthusiasm, you know, one day I will talk, probably on my deathbed, I will finally talk about all the obstacles that I've faced, of which most is not known.
	Find a way. What's your alternative?
	Sink into nothing? Complain your life away?
	Make excuses? Blech!
	That should be revolting to you.
	That would be surrender.
	That would be, in a way, kind of cowardly.
	You're a smart guy. You're a fit guy.
	You're an energetic guy. Find a way.
	I just gave you a solution.
	Now, maybe it's not the perfect solution, in which case call me back.
	We'll brainstorm some more. I'm happy to help.
	Love to help the listeners. But I've just given you something that you could spend at least a month doing that I virtually guarantee, based upon my experience, How did I start this show?
	I asked for referrals.
	I asked for testimonials.
	I know it works.
	How did I get my other business going?
	I would sell my software to someone in an industry and say, if there's anyone else you know who could use this software, I get not a direct competitor.
	I would really appreciate it.
	And then you're nice enough, you're likable enough that people want to help you and you help them back.
	You create this network of people.
	Here's a silly example, right?
	So I went with my daughter to a buffet not too long ago.
	Now, I don't go to a lot of buffets because I'm a guy who likes to eat.
	And buffets are not my best friend, right?
	But every couple of months, I'll go for a buffet.
	And I'll stuff myself and I won't eat till dinner.
	Now, we went to a buffet.
	It was pretty pricey.
	Now, I went in and the hostess was there and she's like, Where do you sit?
	And I said, listen, I need to sit by the entrance because I voted a wheelbarrow.
	And she stared at me for a moment, and then she laughed, right?
	Now, honestly, it's a stupid joke, like I've got a wheelbarrow out all the food or whatever, right?
	It was a stupid joke, but it gave her a little bit of a laugh.
	I made another joke. I can't remember what it was to the waitress and so on.
	And I don't expect anything out of these things.
	To me, if you can bring a little laughter to someone who's probably having a pretty dull day because I remember what it was like working in the service industry.
	Sometimes it's not super fun. It's just a little thing that I do if it pops into my head and it's not some sort of desperate thing or whatever.
	But if I can bring a little happiness to people, fantastic.
	If I can make them laugh a little, make their day a little brighter.
	Why not, right? Doesn't cost me anything.
	So, I don't expect any from these things, and most times you don't, but every now and then, right?
	So, anyway, we ate our brunch, and we were heading out, and the waitress said, oh, I'll just charge you for one.
	Now, again, I don't make jokes to get free brunch.
	And I pointed this out to my daughter.
	I said, look, I mean, I'll chat with people.
	I'll make jokes with people and so on.
	And I like people as a whole.
	I think people are very interesting.
	And there's a lot of positivity in people that's untapped and all of that.
	And just try and make things more enjoyable.
	Like, honestly, I mean, when she was young, I remember going to Niagara Falls and going into the fudge shop, you know, wall-to-wall fudge.
	I think the actual building was made out of fudge, as with half of the employees, right?
	So, of course, naturally, inevitably, you go into the fudge shop, which is wall-to-wall fudge, and I say, do you guys have any fudge?
	And you say it in a straight way, like you're serious, and then there's a moment, and then there's a shock, and then there's some laughter, right?
	Again, I'm not saying this makes me Jerry Seinfeld, because it's not a great joke, but But it's just a little bit of something that...
	And my daughter enjoyed this and then she got embarrassed by it now. She's getting back to enjoying it a little bit
	again, right?
	So if you're just positive And I have every excuse in life to be negative and bitter.
	I mean, I could. I have every excuse.
	Some are known and some are not.
	It doesn't matter. What's known is enough, right?
	My childhood and the difficulties I had in the art world and difficulties I had in the academic world and the literary world and the business world and the podcasting world.
	Yeah, a lot of obstacles.
	It's like Donkey Kong, you know, with the barrels just compounding down.
	And you shrug that shit off and you lean into life.
	And you're positive and you make jokes and you care about people.
	And I'm saying all of this because you're like a guy I came across when I'm hiking and you've got a giant log on your leg.
	It fell down on your leg.
	And I'm lifting the log and it hurts.
	I get that. But I can't even in a remotely good conscience just say, oh, you know, that log looks kind of heavy.
	I'm just going to keep moving.
	Because you're trapped in the woods.
	So COVID fell on you and it kind of crushed a little bit of the spirit out of you.
	And I'm saying, listen, brother, I understand.
	I really do. There are days when I feel that too.
	I really do. I understand.
	And I sympathize.
	And I'm not some helium balloon with automatic buoyancy.
	To some degree, it's just a matter of fucking will.
	Find a way. Don't let life roll you over.
	Don't let it grind you into the dirt.
	Don't let the log just lie there if you have to beg for help from people.
	I got my start as a computer programmer with no training, no experience, no education.
	I mean, I had experience in that.
	I had programs on my own.
	But I finally ran out of money and I called up a woman and I knew she'd got me a couple of temp jobs and I said, listen, I need a job.
	I'm desperate for a job.
	It has to involve computers.
	If I have to move computers, if I have to clean computers, I don't care.
	Please, I need something.
	And that naked need, she was very friendly, very helpful.
	She cared. And she got me my first computer programming job.
	Just beg for help.
	Call people you know and say, I'm really desperate for work, man.
	And if there's anything I can do to help you, and I'm sorry that I haven't helped in the past, but let's make a network.
	Let's refer each other.
	Let's be positive with each other.
	Let's get a group together.
	When I was in university, I studied very hard for an exam and I didn't get the mark that I expected.
	And I said to the teacher, I said to the professor when I was sitting in his office, I said, look, I'm really surprised.
	Obviously, if I did badly, I did badly, but I'm just really surprised.
	So he went to get my exam and he read through it and he said, Actually, you know what?
	My TA marked this and the question was not perfectly worded at all and some people did misinterpret it this way and he gave me a better mark.
	But if I had gone in here and said, you know, you jerk, you marked me down.
	Just be positive, be friendly, be helpful.
	Give people something positive.
	To guide them by, give them some positivity, some enthusiasm, some whatever.
	And I get it. Being enthusiastic in the world brings out all the cynics and their sludgy slingshots and arrows of slowly acidic spiral out your spine and replace it with goo nonsense.
	And, you know, COVID lifted the mask of your fellow humanity to the point where it can be a little tough to love them individually because, you know, they opened up a snitch line You can snitch on your neighbors if you think they're doing something to defy lockdowns and that thing was just lit constantly with a bunch of NKVD Karen wannabes snitching on everyone and their dog.
	I get that.
	So what? Find a way.
	Find a way.
	You know that if you will it and want it hard enough, you will find a way.
	So people who say, well, I live in a small apartment, I can't exercise.
	Hello, Andrew Tate was in solitary confinement for months with one rusty bed and a shitter.
	And he came out looking as good as when he went in.
	The man's got physique.
	I have lots of disagreements, but the man's got physique.
	If he can do it in a cell...
	You can do it in your apartment.
	Like, come on. And just be the person who refuses to give or take excuses.
	Be the person who refuses to give or take excuses.
	Where there's a will, there's a way.
	I give you a solution, the first thing you do is whine and complain.
	And give me tangents.
	I'm going to call you on it and I'm going to say, hey, maybe the solution works, maybe it doesn't.
	But it's something you haven't thought of before and it's something that I know from 30 years of experience really works.
	Maybe for some mysterious reason it won't work.
	But come on, man.
	I gave you a way forward and you're recoiling from it.
	And I say this with great affection.
	I want you to succeed. And I say this with great sympathy, man.
	COVID knocked the shit out of people.
	So shake it off and get up and find a way.
	I guess if I could ask one more question in that regard.
	Well, I immediately started reaching out to my network and I have a friend in New Mexico and he kind of did like, yeah, just kind of what you're talking about.
	He went with his, you know, positive, picked up everything, left New York, went to New Mexico.
	He's been there, he's been training, he bought a plot of land.
	Not that everything is perfect for him, it's tough, but he's been kind of moving forward, right?
	So I contacted him last night, I told him my situation and everything.
	I've helped him in the past, and I've actually been collaborating with him in some other regards.
	So I asked him if he could kind of refer me to different work and things.
	And he gives me a bunch of great things.
	He could kind of put me on the connection of this elite martial arts gym that he's involved in, different type of gigs, all of that.
	And then there's the contrasting thing that I could do, which is to go to New Jersey.
	If I go to New Jersey, I'm with my wife's family.
	And that's where I was before.
	And, like, when I was there, you know, it was the opposite.
	I'm like, hey, can I get a referral to a job?
	No. I kind of hauled it out myself.
	I went, you know, applied to a whole bunch of different jobs and all that.
	That didn't work out.
	So I'm kind of that, all right, cool.
	I could go somewhere where...
	Maybe I'd get some help in New Jersey, but I don't really see...
	How do I say it?
	Yeah, I see kind of all these negatives versus if I went to New Mexico, I could...
	No, no, okay, I get where you're coming from.
	Sorry to interrupt again, but I get where you're coming from.
	So there's some guy who's more enthusiastic about helping you than other people, right?
	Yeah, basically. Now, you think that that's not under your control.
	I'm telling you it absolutely is.
	Because you're like, well, this guy wants to help me, this guy doesn't.
	This one person in New Mexico, this other person, a bunch of other people don't.
	Okay. Now, how many people have you trained over the course of your career?
	I can't count.
	I don't know. Like hundreds, right?
	Yeah. Okay. Do you prefer training the people who show up and throw themselves into the work enthusiastically?
	Do you enjoy training them more than the people who show up Without the right equipment and complain.
	Obviously, the enthusiastic people because they'll pull through.
	Right. Now, you asked me for some advice.
	I gave you some advice and you were pretty negative in your response.
	And I say this with no criticism.
	I'm just sort of pointing it out, right?
	Now, if you were kind of negative and didn't implement what I said and then you called me up and you wanted more advice, would I want to give it to you?
	No. I'm not listening.
	I'm just being negative. Right.
	Now, you have a great deal of influence over whether people want to help you, which is, are you grateful and enthusiastic for the help that you get?
	Again, look, just to reiterate, I'm not saying that this is going to be a magical solution.
	All your business problems are going to go away, but it's something you haven't tried that I know for sure works.
	Remember, I was director of marketing.
	I was the top marketing guy For a pretty substantial company, I've done a lot of this kind of stuff.
	So, again, it might not be perfect, but it's a pretty good answer, right?
	It's a pretty good solution. It's certainly something to try.
	Now, you have a great deal of control over whether people want to help you.
	Because people gravitate towards those who are the most enthusiastic about the help that they receive.
	In the same way that if you have a choice between, like, let's say that...
	You've got one spot left open in your training roster and you've got two clients who reapply.
	One of them was just away for a while.
	He's super enthusiastic, really keen.
	He works out a lot.
	He looks great and he will tell everyone about how great you are.
	Or there's another guy who, you know, half the time he doesn't even show up.
	He complains.
	He's always tired.
	He doesn't have the right equipment.
	I mean, you know who you're going to invite back if you have only one slot left, right?
	Yeah. So if you're someone, first of all, you ask for advice.
	You're happy to receive it.
	You try to implement it with good conscience.
	You give the person feedback and say, listen, I really gave it my all and here's what worked and here's what didn't.
	If you could give me another five minutes, I'd be thrilled.
	I could really appreciate it.
	Like if you're enthusiastic, people will want to help you.
	If you whine and complain, well, if you've got history with someone, if you've, you know, whatever, they might want to help you, if they're family or whatever...
	But why would people want to help you if you don't really listen and you don't really thank them and you complain?
	You're right. And listen, again, this sounds critical and negative, and it's not that way at all.
	I really, really want you to help and be succeeded, right?
	You have to talk to me that way, and I can take it.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I know you can, right?
	I mean, you take bored blows to the stomach or whatever you do in martial arts.
	I'm just talking to everyone else.
	This is kind of a tough laugh or harsh talk, but it is out of a desperate desire for everyone who listens to this to succeed, and it's tough.
	You know, we're passive in school.
	We're passive in church a lot of times.
	A lot of times we're passive at home and we're not allowed to be enthusiastic or enthusiasm is punished by all of the stupid cynics in the world.
	And I get it can feel like lifting a heavy burden.
	But there's no burden heavier than complaining.
	There's no burden heavier than excuses.
	There's no burden heavier than inertia.
	And if you are like If you're in martial arts and you come across a really skilled opponent, isn't that a good thing?
	Yeah. If nobody who's any good wants to fight you, isn't that kind of an insult?
	Depends. No, I mean, if all of the good people are like, no, I'm...
	You know, it's not a challenge, right?
	I mean, if the people who are really good want to fight you...
	That means that they enjoy the challenge, that you are a challenge.
	If life is putting obstacles in your way, that means you're doing shit.
	You're getting stuff done. You're achieving.
	To expect achievement without obstacles, again, is to ask for a square circle that doesn't exist in this or any other life.
	Welcome and relish the obstacles.
	The price of movement is resistance, even in the air.
	You sit on the couch, you don't feel a breeze.
	I'm strolling around, I'm feeling a little bit of breeze.
	Movement and resistance are the same thing.
	Can you ever build a muscle without giving it resistance?
	No. Unless, I don't know, Arnold Schwarzenegger leaves you his pecs in his will.
	But you can't get muscle without resistance.
	You can't get movement without resistance.
	You can't achieve things without obstacles.
	Otherwise, there's no such thing as achievement.
	Achievement is the overcoming of obstacles.
	Relish the obstacles.
	And COVID was a hell of an obstacle.
	Yeah, and COVID is a hell of an obstacle.
	It's like a recession in a business, right?
	In a business environment, a recession eliminates all the marginal producers, all the people who just aren't very good, but there's an upswell in the business cycle, so they're doing okay.
	Or... If someone is a real workaholic, they work 80 hours a week and they inspire their employees to do the same, then they can out-compete you, but it's not sustainable.
	They're going to go nuts, or they're going to get married and have kids and want to spend more time with their kids, or they're going to get sick from overwork or burned out.
	So you just have to be patient.
	And so COVID has been one of these things that eliminates a lot of marginal producers.
	And unfortunately, I don't wish for this, of course, but the reality is that it has ground down a lot of people into inertia.
	Now, that reduces competition and that opens up opportunities to anyone who's got that three-word mantra, find a way.
	Anyone who's got that mantra is leagues ahead of everyone else who let COVID grind them into dust.
	And not COVID in particular, the lockdowns, but you know what I mean, right?
	You find a way.
	You find a way. I mean, I know a guy wanted to move from one country to another, had like two weeks for whatever reason.
	I can't remember the reason. He found a way.
	I mean, I remember reading this cartoon when I was a kid.
	It's a Business meeting, all the charts were going down.
	And the CEO turned to all of his executives and said, Hannibal got elephants over the Alps.
	With that in mind, give me a solution.
	So that's important.
	There is a way.
	Unless you're dead, there's a way.
	And you ain't dead. Find a way.
	Life is finding a way.
	All your ancestors found a way.
	Found a way through plague, through famine, war, political upheaval, revolution, genocide at times.
	Your ancestors found a way.
	and that's what they give to you.
	Find a way or fall away.
	That's all we have. That's the only fork in the road.
	Find a way or just fall away.
	Be somebody who just kind of barely gets by, who complains, who lives on the bottom feeding nothingness and just find a way or fall away.
	That's all we got. Evolutionarily speaking, you find a way or you fall away.
	I want to be a dad and have kids.
	Find a way or fall away.
	And the only reason you're here is because for four billion years, every one of your ancestors found a way.
	So find a way. And that's what I'm talking about.
	You have that will, who's going to beat you?
	Well, somebody whose will is even more, in which case, up your will.
	There's no limit to find a way.
	There's no limit to find a way.
	Does that make sense? Yeah, no, you're right.
	I'm going to change my mindset.
	When we're done with this, I'm just going to get back to it.
	I'm going to keep applying. I keep focusing on all this other stuff I'm doing and I know I just got to get my well-out motivation and reach out to people.
	And reward people for helping you with your enthusiasm with free workout sessions.
	Reward people who help you.
	Train them to want to help you, to want to like you.
	Every single time I do one of these shows, I'm like, what's the maximum value I can provide to people?
	What's the maximum value I can provide to people?
	With enthusiasm and positivity and love and And help, maximum value.
	And I never achieve it, by the way, because I want to provide even more value next time.
	And this is why after this is show 5200, I'm trying to provide more value, provide more value.
	I thank the people who support me.
	I thank the people who donate.
	I thank the participants.
	I thank you for this wonderful example for you, for the world.
	Find a way. What if...
	You just didn't let anything stop you.
	What if? Why should you?
	And it's tough. You have to confront a lot of negativity, a lot of bad imprinting, a lot of depressed or dysthymic people who just kind of ground you down.
	You've got to face down your own inner cynic.
	You've got to face down your own inner can't win, don't try, give up, who cares?
	All of that nihilism.
	You've got to confront that beast in your heart that wants you to Finger puppet your way into nothingness, who wants you to waste time, who wants you to give up, who wants you to lay low.
	You've got to confront that smoky demon who just wants you to fade into nothing, turn into fog, hide and live low and small.
	You confront that guy, man, you get all the power in the known universe, I think.
	Thank you so much, Steph.
	You're welcome, man. Keep me posted about how it's going if you can.
	Call in at freedomain.com.
	I would really appreciate that.
	All right. Well, I'm not sure I can top that particular speech.
	Press my throat. It's a little raw. So I will stop here, but thank you guys, everyone, so much for dropping by, for listening, for talking, for bringing that inspiration to the world, and for allowing me to do that too, man.
	That means the world. It all means the world to me, and I really, really appreciate it.
	Appreciate it and love you guys for it.
	FreeDomain.com forward slash donate.
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	And it's a great community here.
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	At Free Domain 1 is where you can sign up for a subscription service here as well.
	I really appreciate that.
	Lots of everyone. Have a great, great day.
	Remember. Remember.
	Remember. Just find a way.
	And you can do it.
	Anything you want. All the best, guys.

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