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April 27, 2023 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

01:42:57

What It's Like to be Famous! Freedomain Livestream

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	Should I?
	I don't know, man.
	I'm telling you, I may break precedent tonight.
	I may break precedent tonight.
	And I will let you decide, and I will put myself up on the auction block.
	So we have two choices tonight.
	I mean, we have more than two, philosophically speaking, but I'm going to narrow it down to two tonight.
	And the choices are this.
	We can talk gossip, or I can break precedent...
	Because I haven't done politics for a couple of years.
	I can break precedent and I can talk politics with you, my friends.
	Just a little special off-treat, just in case anybody misses that stuff.
	It's been close on three years since I've really done politics.
	But, you know, if this was something of interest to you, I could see my way clear to breaking precedent for a wee bit old time.
	If, I don't know, are you guys past politics, interested in politics?
	Do you care? Is it even relevant?
	Does it matter? You know, it's mind of a matter, right?
	If you have no mind, it doesn't matter.
	So I could, and I will let y'all decide.
	So here's the thing.
	For the next one minute...
	Of course, I'll do questions and all that for the next one minute.
	If you want me to talk...
	Gossip, and oh my word, do I have some gossip.
	If you want to talk gossip, hit me with a donation, and I'll just see.
	Because, you know, if you have no skin in the game, it doesn't really matter, right?
	Oh yeah, I'd love to, right?
	But, you know, if you would like for me to talk gossip, I'll just give you a minute, and if people donate, great, we'll do that, and we'll see which gets more, gossip or politics.
	Don't worry, we'll still do philosophy.
	I will still... Take your questions and all that kind of good stuff.
	Past politics, but it's like junk food.
	A $1 tip for gossip?
	Okay, so obviously people are not super interested in gossip, which is fine.
	I bow to you the glorious listenership to lead me, to lead me forward, to lead me forward.
	Both! All right.
	Well, you've got 25 to 1 on the others.
	We've had... Two dollars for gossip.
	Somebody who says both.
	Bit of an either-or, because I want to make sure I have time for your philosophical questions as well.
	That's, you know, it's kind of like a poll.
	It's kind of like a poll. What's that line?
	There was some Eddie Murphy movie where this woman, I think she was the woman who played Precious, she's flirting with Eddie Murphy and she's like, I'm taking a poll.
	Take your poll. But that's being rather saucy.
	Rather saucy.
	We got something for gossip.
	Um...
	Politics is trash.
	Politics is lame.
	Not interested in politics anymore.
	Well, but so far we're getting some gossip.
	Well, of course, right? Okay, not to be too much of a tease.
	I'll just give you guys a second in case anybody is...
	Follow your heart, Steph.
	I appreciate that. Thank you very much.
	We want gossip. Gossip.
	Oh, look. We're getting some gossip.
	Are we getting some gossip?
	It could be. Alright. Politics is just boring now.
	Republicans pretending they care about the debt again.
	Oh yeah, because the debt is a big thing, right?
	Is your gossip about Crowder saying he's experimenting?
	I've heard that rumor.
	I haven't obviously verified it.
	Have a little bit more on Tucker, if anybody's interested in that.
	I'll take what I can get. All right. So that's it.
	I appreciate that. Now, if you want...
	That was for gossip. If you want politics, if you would like to throw you a couple of bucks and let me know how interested you are in...
	I'm not trying to be super greedy, but it's just a way to gauge people's actual level of interest.
	So if you would...
	Yeah, the politics one is quite a bunch of stuff about politics as well.
	Um... What is with the link you posted about the money supply being record low?
	Well, of course, when the money supply expands, inflation expands.
	When the money supply contracts, inflation contracts.
	It's funny, you know, how everyone's like, oh, deflation is the worst thing ever.
	It's like, no, it's not.
	It's always like they have this weird thing where they say that in any economic equation, there are some who benefit and some who lose, right?
	The price of gold goes up.
	People who have gold benefit.
	People who have... Who don't have gold might lose, right?
	Even if a stock goes up, right?
	People who've shorted lose.
	People who are long benefit, right?
	You want someone to pay for politics?
	F would pay to escape it.
	Yes, well that could be that could be the case Just gonna wait for a minute or two more
	you The politics is somewhat about Project Veritas, James O'Keefe.
	How many days do you think it's been since O'Keefe released his explosive video in the restaurant with the guy from Grindr?
	How many days? How many days do you think that's been?
	30, 10, 2 months?
	That's close. Close, right?
	62 days? Also close.
	Also a little longer. A little longer.
	Before you know, it's been 89 days.
	89 days since James O'Keefe blew up his leadership at his company and all of that for the sake of a truly spectacular scoop and what has come of it.
	What has come of it?
	Then he got kicked out of his whole organization.
	He's starting up a new thing and so on.
	And what came of it? Any hearings?
	Any particular follow-up or anything like that?
	No, I'm afraid not.
	So, alright, looks like it is the gossip.
	It is the gossip time, right?
	So hit me with a why if you are up on the Crowder stuff 100% up
	.
	Not really. Okay.
	So is Vakely aware of it?
	So, Stephen Cratter has announced that he has been going through divorce proceedings or being in the process of divorcing since early 2021, I think it is.
	And his twins were born in August of 2021, so obviously he was going through marital catastrophe slash divorce stuff when his wife was pregnant with their twins.
	A bigger disaster than that, it is hard to imagine.
	Pretty disastrous.
	Now... It's something I completely understand.
	I completely understand that Stephen Crowder says, you know, let me have this privacy.
	Let me have this...
	It's between me and my wife and, you know, everybody asks for privacy and so on, right?
	And I understand this too.
	And I'm not... I don't have any particular insights as to what happened in the marriage.
	But let me ask you this.
	Hit me with a why... If you think that it's inappropriate to talk about somebody else's divorce in this situation or in this type of circumstance, in this type of situation.
	So most people are saying, no, it's not inappropriate.
	It's fine to talk about this kind of divorce in this kind of situation.
	Oh, sorry. Which way did I ask it?
	N equals don't talk about it?
	Can you just remind me? I'm so sorry.
	No, he's a public figure.
	Yeah, so N means it's okay to talk about it, right?
	Now, a public figure, to me, that doesn't mean that you talk about their private life.
	So, for instance, an actor is an amoral vehicle for whatever writer is sticking his hand up the actor's Oscar, making that perfectly coiffed hair move around in the right way.
	So, an actor, I think you should steer clear of their private life.
	If somebody is, I don't know, a world-famous accountant or whatever, then you should, I think, give them privacy in their private life.
	But... When you are a moralist, I think that your private life is open to discussion.
	I think so.
	In the same way, let me ask you this.
	Would you ever pay good money for somebody who claimed to be a personal trainer and nutrition
	expert without seeing their physique?
	No, right?
	I mean, I think, wouldn't you, I mean, the first thing I see, look at Cortez and so on,
	all the people who are, you know, I'm a health and fitness expert, the first thing that you
	would, the first thing they show is, you know, you go to their profile page and it's like,
	I have abs!
	dozens of, I have a whole phalanx of abs that are trying to take over my muscular man boobs, right?
	So, when it's relevant, I think, like, I'm not a personal trainer.
	My abs are my business.
	I did actually post physique in one of the last live streams.
	But my abs are my business because my abs, or lack thereof, are not relevant to the moral philosophy that I put forward.
	Now, of course, if I talk a lot about managing your emotions, overcoming trauma, and having some discipline and so on, and I'm 300 pounds, eh, you know, that could be...
	That could be questionable.
	I don't hire an accountant based upon the accountant's abs.
	In fact, if my accountant was unbelievably fit, I'd have some concerns because it's like, shouldn't you also be working a desk job at some point and shouldn't you actually be doing some accounting?
	So if it's an area of expertise, then I think it's full public consumption.
	I don't want to see the ass of a lawyer.
	I really don't want to see the ass of a lawyer.
	However, if I was interested in getting some homoerotic bubble butt and some guy said, I have the ultimate glute exercise, I'm afraid, sir, you're going to have to show me your ass.
	If you're going to say I'm a Brazilian...
	I'm a stepladder Brazilian ass expert.
	I'm afraid I'm going to need to see these gluteus maximus of yours so that I can judge how well, right?
	If I said I had, you know, being bald is terrible, having great hair is fantastic, and I have this incredible hair regrowth formula, if I'm totally bald, I mean, that would matter, right?
	I assume you don't care about my hair or lack thereof.
	As a philosopher, solar-powered sex machine, yes, philosopher, no.
	So you don't care that I'm mostly bald, right?
	Got that little fuzz here, right?
	Which my daughter is constantly...
	So you don't care that I'm bald because I'm a philosopher, but if I was some magic hair restoration guy and I was bald, that would be a hiccup, right?
	So, where it's relevant, I think it matters, right?
	I like the fuzz stuff. Don't shave it.
	Oh, trust me, I'm not going to shave my head.
	First of all, if you're in your 50s, you just look like you're getting cancer treatments.
	Been there, done that, don't want to go back.
	So, no, I'm not going to. And it's like the whole point of being bald is I don't have to care about my hair.
	Like, I don't have to care about my hair.
	I'm one of the few people on video who doesn't use any makeup, right?
	Use no makeup at all. And so, shaving is way, it's happened to be way too much work.
	My God. No thanks.
	So somebody says here, obviously we shouldn't talk about the private life as if we have authority on the intimate details of what happened.
	None of us know those details.
	Do talk about the general philosophical principles that pertain to marriage and divorce and how we can apply that to our relationships and avoid having a situation like Crowder's.
	Yes, and expecting the truth from people who are getting divorced is expecting something that never is and never shall be.
	A divorce and falsehood in general Go hand in hand.
	And I mean this. It's not necessarily a criticism.
	It's just a kind of fact.
	It's just a kind of fact because there are kids involved and you really don't want...
	I didn't like the fact that Stephen Crowder said, I chose wrong, right?
	I mean, that's not particularly good.
	Somebody says, you're missing a lot, Steph.
	I don't know about that. It's been 10 years.
	You're missing a lot.
	Is that to do with my hair or something to do with this, right?
	Steph with a bubble butt. Harrowing thought.
	I like my butt. What can I tell you?
	I like my butt, I like my feet.
	If you had to...
	Nah, is that a mean question?
	Is that a sensible question?
	I'm missing a lot of chat above.
	Oh, okay. Thank you. If Crowder has put himself in the position of criticizing other public figures for their choices and way of lifestyle, then he should be held to the standards and expectations he has set for others.
	So it's a question.
	It's a question, right?
	You have said if someone changes drastically after marriage and it wasn't something you signed up for, it would be the reason for divorce.
	Stephen is trying to send an important message to society.
	I don't know what his wife is doing, but obviously she is the one requesting the divorce.
	Yes, he has said, I think he lives in Texas, and he has said that his wife is initiating the divorce, he doesn't want it, and so on, right?
	I think... And look, the guy's going through hell, right?
	I mean, he said he's lived for, what's it, two and a half years or whatever with a boot on his neck.
	And I have a lot of sympathy for that.
	He's going through hell. And I haven't heard from the guy in forever.
	And, you know, we did some shows together way back in the day.
	I sent a couple of messages of support when he was going through his health crisis, but I never heard anything back, which is fine.
	But because it's just my conscience for sort of saying he had went through a real health crisis and so on, right?
	But my guess is that public figures in this kind of situation will often end up as workaholics, and that can be really, really tough.
	The workaholism is really tough.
	I've had to sort of stare down that demon myself.
	Especially, like, if you're just, you know, some mid-range character actor, just about anyone else can do what you do, right?
	Right. Or if you're just, I don't know, some clerk, some typist, some data entry person or whatever, you're pretty replaceable, right?
	I don't view, rightly or wrongly, I think it's rightly, but I don't view what I'm doing as replaceable.
	And the reason being, like, you turn on Fox News, you turn on whoever, right?
	You know, there's a lot of pundits.
	There's a lot of people talking politics.
	There's a lot of people taking calls.
	There's a lot of people discussing the world and so on.
	But not from a first principles philosophical standpoint.
	I think that the combination of moral clarity and intense deep self-knowledge that goes on in this show, I don't see anything like this happening anywhere else.
	I don't think anyone else can do what I do, and that can lead down the road towards workaholism.
	Do I think workaholism caused the crowd a divorce?
	Well, I mean, he went through a pretty horrendous health scare.
	I mean, really, really bad stuff.
	And I think, how long did he take off?
	A couple of weeks? I don't know, man.
	I mean, does he write books?
	I don't know. He does a lot of shows.
	He's got like 17 or 18 employees.
	He does tours.
	He does stand-up.
	I mean... That's a lot.
	That's a lot. And I'll tell you this.
	this is sort of my, I don't know anything of course about the credit situation
	other than what he said and and so on but guys if you're out there
	never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever let the mother of your children
	have or contemplate raising those children largely alone.
	Please, I'm on my knees begging you.
	Never, ever, ever either have the mother of your children experience or anticipate raising those children alone.
	I have seen this a number of times, quite a number of times over the course of my life.
	It's not evidence that's empirical, I'm just telling you my experience, where a man has this strong urge to work harder because he's there, he's providing for his children, right?
	There's two times in a man's life when his income goes up, his productivity goes up, his hard work goes up.
	Number one, when he gets married. Number two, when he has children.
	So, I mean, you tell me, because I haven't watched his show in forever, but, I mean, if I'm not on, what's the point?
	But how many hours of shows does Monsieur Crowder do every day?
	I mean, weren't people offering him at least $50 million?
	That's a crazy amount of money.
	It's not crazy if he's earning that much in revenue.
	Good for him, right? But He does two hours a day.
	Four out of seven days, that's live.
	Doesn't he also do skits and he does the Change My Mind stuff.
	He does stand-up.
	He does stand-up tours as well.
	You know, that's a lot, man.
	Yeah, Daily Wire offered 50 million and I think he felt that he was worth a lot more than that.
	So I assume he has enough money to take time off, right?
	I mean, I assume that he's...
	I mean, you can look up his net worth.
	I never believe any of that stuff.
	But he's got enough money to take an indefinite amount of time off, right?
	So hit me with a why if you've ever gone through workaholism in your life.
	I have. I absolutely have.
	Hit me with a Y if you've ever gone through workaholism.
	Workaholism is when you work so hard that it really begins to interfere with your health, the quality of your relationships, your sleep, and so on.
	And, like, a short burst is fine, but it tends to go on for, let's say, at least a month or more.
	Again, you can have these sort of sprints where it happens at certain times.
	But yeah, so you guys have hit this.
	Give me the number of months that you were in the workaholism phase.
	Yes, currently hasn't affected health.
	Just sprints? Yeah, and I think we all do that, right?
	I mean, even back in the day, you'd work crazy hours in the Middle Ages where, you know, you'd have five months of holidays a year in the Middle Ages, but, you know, come harvest time, you had a lot, right?
	You've done, oh my gosh, you've done four years?
	Dude, please don't.
	I'm begging you. 18 months?
	Usually two to three months for me?
	Yeah. Two to three years-ish, it's contributed to ruining my relationship?
	Yes. Having a kid and starting a business right now, me and the wife need the money, but it worries me?
	Having a kid and starting a business at the same time?
	Bro. I don't know.
	Wait, about 40?
	Is that 40 months? 40 months straight?
	Right. Right.
	I mean, it is a male urge, of course, to want to work hard when you've got a kid and so on.
	It's a terrible idea.
	It's a terrible idea.
	A woman...
	At a certain point, you've made enough money.
	Who said that? It's on the tip of my tongue.
	You did one year, 2021.
	Yeah. Yeah, I mean, when I had my producer, I was doing documentaries, I was writing books, I was doing sometimes two or three interviews a week, which was at least a book or two per interview.
	And that was, I would do that in person, then take some time off.
	Yeah, people ask millionaires, how much more money do you need to be a 10 on the happiness scale?
	And everyone from one to a decamillionaire, like 10 million, they all said double, right?
	So they hit on a treadmill, like you're just never going to be satisfied, right?
	Yeah, workaholic is when you're working so hard that it's interfering with your health, your sleep, your welfare, your well-being, and in your relationships.
	And... Okay, so here's the thing.
	Carrying a baby, having a baby, breastfeeding a baby, uniting with a baby...
	is a very deep and powerful and slightly alarming process for women to go through, and they absolutely desperately and completely need adults around them so that they retain their identity.
	A lot of hormonal changes, a lot of bonding, a lot of oxytocin and so on that's going on through your system, happy joy, joy hormones.
	A woman can easily kind of sink into the quicksand of a baby.
	She needs a man around, or an adult, usually it's a husband, a man around, To hold her intellectually, to hold her and to return her to adulthood so she doesn't feel like she loses herself completely.
	Yeah, Paris Hilton wanted a billion to be happy, but she, you know.
	So, do you guys know where workaholism comes from?
	Do you know the psychological roots of workaholism?
	Anybody? Hit me with a Y if you know, or if you have a strong theory as to where workaholism comes from.
	So success comes from not feeling good enough as a whole.
	Not all the time, but in general.
	Success generally comes from not being good enough.
	From constantly chasing excellence beyond what you need to live.
	You know, beavers, they build dams.
	They don't build hydroelectric dams, right?
	Birds will build a nest. They won't build a city, right?
	So animals work until they have enough and then they stop working, right?
	I mean, what do lions do?
	Well, they're called lions because they spend most of their time lying around, right?
	This frantic activity, this worker bee activity comes out of insecurity chasing animals A sense of self-satisfaction that doesn't arrive.
	A workaholism in general comes from a lack of satisfaction with the self and an inability to feel enough without performing.
	And this is why it tends to be a bit more of a male phenomenon than a female phenomenon.
	So, yeah, it's me plus, right?
	I have to be me plus X, Y, or Z in order for people to like me, right?
	I have to be me plus massive dangerous service to the world as a whole in order for people to like me, right?
	That would be sort of me. That would sort of be one of my perspectives.
	And... In the past, of course, you had to be right in God's eyes and you could achieve that through piety and virtue.
	Do you ever feel like you're enough?
	Do you ever feel like you are satisfied with what you've done?
	Do you ever feel like you can coast without losing status?
	Do you ever feel like you can just flop without losing momentum?
	Do you feel like you have to constantly be in motion like a shark?
	Or can you rest?
	Can you nap? Can you not do stuff?
	Yeah, driven by insecurity, seeking validation, and anxiety.
	Yeah, for sure. For sure.
	Somebody says, I have the opposite problem.
	I can get satisfaction from just thinking about starting a business.
	No, that's not the same.
	Or rather, that is the same, because...
	You prefer the thought satisfaction rather than the genuine satisfaction because you're afraid you won't be able to achieve the general satisfaction.
	A wounded sense of self causes some to become a workaholic.
	So, needing to provide an excess of value is because your parents didn't value you.
	Your parents didn't enjoy your company in general.
	Your parents didn't find themselves satisfied and happy with who you were as a person.
	So, you constantly had to chase them.
	And I talked about this in the Truth About Robin Williams presentation I did many years ago that I think Joe Rogan particularly disliked, if I remember rightly.
	His mother was depressed and he would get manic and funny to make her laugh.
	So he couldn't just enjoy his childhood.
	He had to be Robin Williams plus manically funny in order for people to like him.
	And filling in the hole in a parental deficiency?
	I mean, come on, look.
	I mean, I'm sure you know this about me.
	I certainly do, and I think I've talked about it before.
	My mother was...
	I mean, she wasn't just crazy.
	She was crazy in a very specific, mystical, almost disciplined way.
	So she had premises about the spirit world, the supernatural world, and this sort of mystical union and oneness.
	And she talked about knitting psychic helmets of protection for those in her life who were in danger and so on.
	So she had a kind of...
	A mystical, druidic kind of, this me-ism, you know, where it's like this vague karmic spiritual stuff, but there's never any actual responsibilities.
	Like you don't actually have to volunteer at any soup kitchens or deny yourself anything, but you get this vague spiritual oneness stuff.
	And so my mother had a significant deficiency in rationality.
	So you're like a jigsaw puzzle, right?
	So your parents have a deficiency and you have something that completes that.
	In other words, my, in a sense, hyper-rationality was drawn into the vacuum of my mother's lack of rationality.
	I mean, I'm only partially shaped by just who I am genetically.
	I'm significantly shaped by my environment.
	And I tried to repair my mother's lack of rationality by being extra rational myself in the same way that Robin Williams tried to repair his mother's depression and sadness by being extra funny and happy himself.
	Right? You all know this, right?
	That so much of what we call our personality is...
	A massive rescue effort to shore up the deficiencies of our parents, if that makes sense.
	Let me just make sure I'm getting caught up with the comments here.
	I hope this stuff is of interesting and of value for you.
	People who achieve massive success move the needle of humanity, hopefully in a positive direction.
	Apple with the iPhone has definitely made me more productive in some things I do.
	Move the needle of humanity.
	Yeah, I think that's fair, but I don't really know what that means.
	And it's not like it makes the world more moral, which is kind of what we need most of all.
	During my workaholic time, somebody says, I do feel like I'm perpetually chasing something that's elusive, and I can't quite ever get it.
	I've thought more recently it's partly to get approval from my parents.
	Right. And everybody who's worked very hard out of a sense of deficiency or a sense of incompleteness has a great concern that if they raise their children without that sense of incompleteness, that their children won't achieve very much.
	Right? I mean, one of the best ways to get your children to be hyper-achievers is to relentlessly withhold approval that they're constantly chasing.
	That approval and never satisfied and they'll do great things but at the expense of their peace of mind.
	It's a tough question, right?
	I mean, are you happier if you're well-loved for who you are but don't achieve as much or are you happier if you get to achieve a great amount of good things in the world and get that satisfaction from there?
	Somebody says, maybe I'm not starting a business if I actually think it through.
	Is working self-employed in my field the same?
	I work from home for clients but have no one under me.
	Oh, so you're a consultant.
	It's not quite the same as starting a business.
	It's really starting a business when you hire people.
	Still a lot of work. With that context, is it still a problem with my kid on the way?
	That's a matter of priorities, which we'll get to in a sec.
	Mother and grandmother were crystal fanatics before it was trending.
	Yeah. Yeah, my mother had a lot of these sort of 70s books on fruity, weird, creepy mysticism around the house, and yeah, it was all really goopy, goopy stuff.
	The top 0.1% would probably always be dysfunctional because you can't get there without being a chronic workaholic.
	Well, you can if you're born in control of the printing presses.
	Yes, you can. A surprisingly high percentage of high achievers are low sleepers who only need four to five hours.
	They literally have more time in the day.
	Yeah, that's kind of true. But the flip side of being a workaholic is being grandiose.
	No, the flip side of being a workaholic is constantly chasing a sense of completeness and an approval from the past that they're never going to get because it's already gone and gone and gone.
	The flip side of being a workaholic is not being grandiose.
	The flip side of a workaholic...
	It's having that same absence.
	The workaholic feels that by working hard, he can achieve that approval.
	The opposite of that is being really lazy and believing that no matter what happens, you will never get that approval.
	You will never achieve it, so why bother even trying?
	Why do you think the Japanese are workaholics?
	Well, because they're a high IQ, high-driven race, and it's better that they're workaholics than invading China, the rape of Nanking, that kind of stuff, right?
	What was it somebody said?
	I like having very wealthy people around because they're either very wealthy or they're warlords, and it's better if they're wealthy than warlords, right?
	Elon Musk, for example, massively successful using his resources to free up Twitter so freer speech can take place.
	But choose not, you're unbanned, but choose not to post your message of morals on there.
	Why not? Oh, you can do a search on that.
	A Japanese workaholism has...
	I was reading, and it's not the same, of course, but the culture is not totally dissimilar.
	This woman was posting about why she's not having kids.
	She lives in South Korea. She said, of course I'm not having kids because my parents had a miserable time.
	We lived in a house of 550 square feet where my mother had to walk around for two hours in the town when my tutor came over because it was too crowded for all of us.
	My father worked a seppuku, right?
	Death by overwork. And you see these...
	Middle-level Japanese managers coming home on the subway at 2 in the morning after a night of drinking and karaoke after a, you know, 12-hour day of working, and you can be a workaholic, and you will provide for your children, but the great risk is that your children will look at you and say, damn, I don't want that kind of life.
	Oh, my God.
	Oh, my God. They just won't want to have kids.
	So you've provided for your children, but you've ended your lineage.
	Here's the thing, man. If you want your kids to have kids, you better enjoy parenting.
	Because if you don't enjoy parenting, you're working all the time or whatever, right?
	Oh. Here's somebody annoying.
	Should I rant at the annoying person?
	Is that fair? Is that not?
	Should I rant at the annoying person?
	Hit me with a Y if I should rant at the annoying person.
	No? Yes.
	It hangs in the balance.
	It's fine for them to be annoying.
	It's fine for me to rant at them, right?
	I may be wrong, just be honest.
	Okay, so somebody said here about, like, why aren't you posting on Twitter, right?
	Because I'm unbanned, right? And I said, I've already talked about that a number of times.
	You can find them on FDR Podcasts.
	And he said, don't FDR Podcast me.
	I've followed you for years.
	Right? And he said, you...
	Oh, sorry, I lost that here.
	You... You're not posting on Twitter out of spite, right?
	So he's saying, I'm not posting on Twitter because I'm spiteful.
	Don't FDR podcast me.
	I've followed you for years.
	You're not posting on Twitter out of spite.
	That's your theory.
	So you're psychologizing me without any evidence and accusing me of very petty motives, despite the fact that I very clearly explained how not posting on Twitter is entirely in line with my moral philosophy.
	So, Evan, clearly you're angry and you're frustrated and you really, really want me to post on Twitter, right?
	So, you know, here's Sales 101, Persuasion 101.
	So, you asked me a question.
	I have talked about it multiple times before and I gave you a resource wherein you could find the answer.
	And you got kind of pissy with me, right?
	Don't FDR podcast me.
	I followed you for years. You're not posting on Twitter out of spite, right?
	I'm happy to hear the case.
	I really am. I mean, I thought long and hard about the whole Twitter thing, and I talked about it with friends, and I've talked about it on the show and got feedback.
	Maybe everyone missed the obvious green-headed venom fang dragon of spite that's in my head or something like that.
	But I'm not posting on Twitter out of spite.
	I'm happy to hear you make that case.
	How do you know? How do you know?
	Because, you see, I've given my explanations, which are my honest thoughts on the subject.
	What you're saying is either I have no idea what my actual motivations are, and everything I've talked about has been an unconscious lie, or I know that I'm really spiteful, but I've given everyone a bunch of gaslit nonsense to try and So, I'm either a conscious or unconscious liar, because I really should know my motives for not posting on Twitter.
	I believe I know them, but you're saying that you can see spite in me that no one else can see, that I don't see in myself, and that would make everything that I've said about why I'm not posting false.
	It doesn't mean I'm necessarily lying, but I should know why I'm doing it, right?
	So I either don't know how to examine my own thoughts and motives.
	I don't have good friends around me or people who've given me feedback in my family or anything like that.
	And, you know, all of this is theoretically possible, right?
	I'm just saying that you have a high barrier.
	To proving things to me, right?
	If you're going to say, well, Steph, you've thought about this decision long and hard.
	You've had months and months and months to think about it.
	You've talked about it repeatedly.
	You've got feedback from people, but you're totally wrong about your motives.
	And here's the thing, too.
	Like, who is manifesting spite in the conversation, right?
	Who is manifesting spite in the conversation?
	I think that's an important question.
	Because if you're saying, well, look, you shouldn't do things out of spite, right?
	You shouldn't do things out of spite.
	But you're like, don't FDR podcast me.
	I've followed for years. You're not posting on Twitter out of spite.
	Doesn't that seem kind of spiteful?
	Like, if you're really a good expert at knowing when spite is there, when spite is occurring, shouldn't you not manifest that spite itself?
	It would seem to me that that would be the case to do it better.
	All right. Collecting resources is a deep evolutionary desire equivalent to sex.
	Hard to change the inertia, like asking women to ignore hypergamous impulses.
	My God, man!
	Ass, man! Sorry, that's his name, so I'm not trying to call him a name.
	Monsieur le pathologiste.
	So listen. Oh, gathering resources.
	Oh, really? Gathering resources?
	Your dad is rich and your mama is good looking.
	So gathering resources is important to men?
	Really, I'd never thought of that.
	I've never noticed that. And I'm saying, hey, you do gather resources.
	Because you know what screws up your resources is getting divorced!
	Being divorced by your wife.
	I'm asking you to keep your resources by working less and helping her with the parenting so that you stay together.
	Because otherwise, she takes half your shit in the divorce for 20 years or more.
	And that's going to lose you a lot of resources.
	I mean, you know, you can get a whole bunch of resources in the short run by taking a massive amount of uppers and working for four days straight.
	Oh, look at that! At an hourly rate, he's made a lot of money and then your heart explodes or something, right?
	Or you pass out or you have a psychotic break or a nervous breakdown or something.
	Oh no, I have fewer resources.
	So, life is a marathon, not a sprint.
	Collecting resources? Absolutely.
	And the most important resource you need is the love of your wife!
	Because if you don't have the love of your wife and she divorces your ass, she takes half your shit.
	So I am telling you, collect resources.
	Alright. Ah, let's see here.
	I have my most important job interview on Friday.
	Any fine words of advice?
	Yeah, make it a 360 interview.
	Interview them. Don't be somebody who's like, oh God, I really, really want this job.
	You know, if you're an actor, you're trying to see, am I a good fit for the material?
	Will I do this material justice?
	Am I the right person for this material?
	Will I help bring the director and the writers and the producers' vision to life the best?
	I don't know. Not, I hope I get this job, right?
	Am I right for this job? Am I going to be a productive person in this environment, right?
	So when you have your job interview on Friday, and I wish you the very best, ask as many questions as you are asked.
	Ask your boss, how long have you been in the position?
	What are your particular goals?
	If I have ambition to move up in the company, how is that achieved?
	Do you guys do voluntary training programs?
	Do you do paid training nights and weekends?
	What is your position on vacations and what is the overtime expected and so on, right?
	What is the level of job commitment to go on and so on, right?
	Ask questions. Be skeptical.
	Be skeptical. To see if you want to work for them.
	Do you want to work for them?
	If you're just a desperate guy who's like, please God, give me this job, you probably won't get the job.
	I would never hire someone like that.
	Right. You want to be skeptical, be polite, be positive.
	And, you know, I really, you know, I want this.
	I'm dying for this to work.
	Obviously, it has to work for you.
	It has to work for me. How responsive are you to salary negotiations?
	If they say, well, we can't budge on salary, say, okay, well, could I get an extra week of vacation every year?
	And just be confident that you have value.
	And ask them questions about the long term of your career.
	Any boss who's working, any boss who's worth working for is looking for his replacement because he's looking to move up and he's looking to groom his replacement.
	Now I'm not saying how long till I get your job.
	You wouldn't say that necessarily to the guy who's hiring you but you know what would my career path be and so on.
	And also if he was going to be your boss say you know have you mentored people before and How are they doing, right?
	Oh, I mentored this guy. He's now head of the Eastern Seaboard Division.
	Okay, that's a good thing. Or I've never mentored anyone before.
	It's like, okay, how does mentorship work in this company?
	Because, you know, I want to have a good career and I love what I'm doing and I want to do it for the foreseeable future, but I also want to have some path to growth.
	So how does the mentorship work in this company and all of that kind of stuff, right?
	So just ask questions.
	And that's going to create the impression that you're in demand and you're looking for the right fit and that is going to make people more positively respond to you.
	All right, let's see here Get AI to post on Twitter for you
	Thank you.
	.
	No, that would be fraud.
	What? Who are you people tonight?
	That would be fraud! Oh, do you mean it's just like post my shows and stuff like that?
	Is that what you mean? Sorry, I thought you meant like post as if it were me.
	Do you mean just... I don't need AI to post on Twitter for me.
	I'm a little confused. I just need a bot.
	A bot could just scrape my latest videos and post them on Twitter.
	If you mean AI like post as if it's me without telling people it's not me, that would be a fraud.
	That would be fraudulent, right? All right.
	The show was 5.063.
	Five seconds on searching on FDR podcast, yeah.
	Steph had a recent 15-minute video called How to Make More Money that Could Be Helpful, yep.
	By not spreading morals.
	By not spreading morals is moral.
	By not spreading morals.
	Oh, do you mean like if I don't post on Twitter, I'm withholding morality from the world?
	I was in an abusive relationship with Twitter.
	I've always had the same approach to abusive relationships.
	I'm open to reformation. The person needs to apologize, needs to make restitution, and needs to give me a commitment about how it's not going to happen again.
	I've said that from the very beginning.
	It's been absolutely consistent throughout the course of my show.
	Three part, right? Apologize, make restitution, tell me how it's not going to happen again.
	And Twitter said things about me that I do not agree with, significantly do not agree with.
	They said these things publicly. And yeah, if somebody says something that I consider both insulting and false, then they need to apologize and make a restitution and tell me how it's not going to happen again.
	That's how you shield yourself from getting back into relationships that are abusive in general, right?
	So, my perspective, right?
	My perspective on this relationship.
	And I think there's decent reasons behind that.
	So, I'm supposed to throw that aside.
	Like, all of my integrity, all that has kept me strong and protected throughout this entire course of my life, I'm supposed to throw all of that aside and To post on a platform and to say, well, you know, morals and virtue and integrity, that's fine, unless you have a high enough follower count, in which case throw all that shit aside.
	I mean, isn't the whole point of integrity is you just...
	Sorry, maybe I'm mistaken about something.
	Isn't the whole point of integrity that you're supposed to just follow it until you find a better reason or a better argument?
	Well, you know, I do have these virtues and I do have these standards.
	I mean, Jesus, Lord above my friend, my brother, in Christ and reason, you understand, I applied to these standards my own fucking family, my flesh and blood.
	I applied these standards to my own fucking family of origin.
	You think I'm going to break them for Twitter clout?
	Are you crazy?
	Like, I'm sorry, I don't...
	I'm sorry I don't mean to laugh at you.
	I put my own flesh and blood through these standards.
	You think I'm gonna just toss them aside cuz Twitter? Jeez.
	That's like taking down a saber-toothed tiger with my bare hands and then being beheaded by a mouse.
	You think I can't handle a mouse?
	I'm pretty sure I can handle a mouse.
	All right. You have repeatedly said that we should give up on the current society.
	I think you're just kind of throwing stuff now. I don't know what you mean by
	current society, I don't know what you mean by give up,
	and I don't know what you mean by repeatedly said. I don't think that's
	I think there's a political solution to where we are right now, but that doesn't mean you should give up on the
	current society.
	I mean, I have a current society called friends and family, you know, so I have a community of people that I care about
	and love.
	Alright.
	Somebody says, I might have issues with boundaries.
	For instance, I text people a lot and they don't text me nearly as much.
	I live by the golden rule.
	I would warmly welcome the communications I send others.
	How can I check to see if I'm being improper?
	Well, first thing you do if you have asymmetry, right, you text people more than they text you, is you look in history to say, okay, when I was growing up as a kid, was there asymmetry in my family?
	Did I want to spend more time with my dad than he wanted to spend with me?
	Did I want to please my teachers more than they wanted to instruct me?
	That kind of stuff, right? Speaking of Twitter, now that we can discard the noble intentions regarding free speech hypothesis, what's your next guess as to Musk's long-term strategy with Twitter?
	I don't see this as an effective way to promote his other businesses, so is he a cutout for somebody else perhaps?
	No, I think he does have noble intentions regarding free speech with regards to Twitter.
	I mean, obviously Elon Musk is a busy guy with like 12 billion companies under his belt.
	So... He does want free speech.
	He's absolutely not in charge of every banning decision.
	That still has to be automated or there has to be a team or something like that.
	Maybe he'll tell people to restore people and so on, but he can't be micromanaging at that level.
	It's way more free speech than it used to be.
	It's way more free speech than it used to be and...
	So that's a plus for free speech, and I think he's genuine behind that for sure.
	All right, let's see here.
	I recall you mentioning about Izzy hiding her toys when friends would be coming over when she was younger.
	Have a two-year-old who does the same.
	Any tips on how you coach her into sharing?
	The reason that kids in general want to protect their toys is that they have a very strong emotional attachment to those toys that other kids don't share.
	So Izzy was very fiercely protective and gentle with her toys and so on.
	Or of course other kids who would come over would be like crash boom bang with her toys.
	And so I didn't...
	It was my issue, not hers.
	I mean, it was my... I was like, oh no, you've got to share.
	It was my issue, not hers, that I wanted...
	I felt that it was...
	I just recognized it pretty quickly when I had that feeling.
	It's like, no, she's got to be perfect and she's got to be wonderful because she's the advertisement for peaceful parents.
	So even for the people who come over...
	So that was my issue, not hers.
	And she's perfectly...
	She is perfectly...
	It's perfectly acceptable for my daughter to hide her toys if she has concerns about those toys being harmed by careless or aggressive other children, right?
	You understand, right?
	So... And of course, if I had a computer on a table and kids were coming over, I would take that computer away.
	And she'd say, well, why did you?
	Because I don't want it to get damaged.
	Aha! Okay, well, so...
	It's rude to disregard someone's points when they donated $100 because they believe in the work you and many others do.
	It's rude to disregard someone's points when they donated $100 because they believe in the work you and many others do.
	I'm sorry, what points did I disregard?
	Is this the point about Twitter?
	But if somebody says, you're acting out of spite, they say to me, Steph, you're acting out of spite, I don't believe that to be true.
	I'm not just going to say, well, okay, right?
	Because, you know, obviously, I mean, obviously, I'm not going to say, oh, you gave me $100, I'm going to agree with you.
	I mean, that would be not being a philosopher, that would be being a cheap-ass prostitute whore.
	So disregard someone's points.
	I don't quite understand that.
	So if you say, Steph, you're spiteful, and then I say, I don't experience that.
	I don't think it's true. You seem spiteful to me, and here's the proof, or at least here's the evidence.
	But if you would like to show me the evidence that I'm being spiteful, please do.
	That's not disregarding someone's point.
	That's asking for proof. All right.
	Stefan, while your engaging with trolls can be entertaining at times, it derails you from delivering insights on workaholism and divorce this evening.
	It's letting this troll get away with stealing a beneficial opportunity for the rest of us to learn.
	His laziness and pettiness shouldn't rob the rest of us of having a productive chat with you.
	Interesting. But I did ask people whether they wanted me to respond to this criticism, and people said yes as a whole.
	So I'm a little confused if you're saying nobody wants you to engage with this critic.
	When I asked people if they wanted me to engage with the critic, a significant majority said yes, they do.
	So I think what you're doing is you're saying, well, Steph, I don't want you to engage with this critic, but I'm going to pretend that it's this big shadowy we who doesn't want you to do it because you don't feel comfortable just saying it as an individual.
	Like you have to invent a whole bunch of invisible friends who agree with you in order for me to listen.
	I don't think that's fair. I think I would listen to that.
	All right. Great interview advice.
	Thanks, Steph, for the answer.
	Okay, well I'm glad it helped.
	Alright. Let me get back to you.
	I will get back to the other stuff, right?
	I always tell people when doing an interview, it's like talking to a friend.
	No. I honestly and sincerely, look, you could be right.
	I'm just telling you, I hate to be that guy with all the experience, but I've interviewed a thousand people, probably hired a hundred people or more over the course of my career.
	And no, it's not like talking to a friend.
	Because when you're talking to a friend, you're negotiating as equals, not for economic gain.
	Right? And you're not trying to profit from each other.
	So it's not like talking to a friend.
	That would be a level of a lack of professionalism that would be troubling to me as a hiring manager.
	My job is to make you, my manager, look good and get promoted so I can get your job.
	I mean, I know that's kind of a joke, but I wouldn't hire anyone who wasn't passionate about what they were doing, right?
	Alright. You're unbanned.
	It's a start for restitution?
	You are unbanned.
	It's a start for restitution.
	I don't know what you mean.
	So, if somebody accuses you of something terrible, spreads terrible rumors about you, wrecks a whole bunch of your life's work, and then blocks you, and then they unblock you, that's restitution.
	I'm sorry, maybe I don't understand what you're saying.
	I don't see how that's a start for restitution at all.
	Do you honestly expect a massive conglomerate company to do that?
	What do you mean? To me individually, I was a big guy on Twitter, man.
	I was a big guy on Twitter.
	So it would not be at all unusual to get a private call or a private email.
	But even if they didn't want to do it to me directly, then they should do it in general to people who, you know, let's say that they falsely accuse people of bad things.
	They should reveal that to be true.
	Yes, we didn't have evidence we falsely accused.
	Ah, well, but for legal reasons they can't do that.
	It's a liability. Okay, then fine.
	Then there are legal reasons that they choose not to do that.
	They can still choose to do it. So do I honestly expect a massive conglomerate company to do that?
	I was a big guy on Twitter, man.
	And I was a big, high-profile man.
	And yes, it would be important.
	It would be important. And if they don't care to do that, which is fine, they're perfectly free to do it or not do it.
	If they don't care to do that, then...
	And they don't say, here's what we did wrong.
	Here's the policies we've put in place so that it doesn't happen again.
	And by the way, I'm going to give you $10,000 or $5,000 of free advertising revenue.
	They could make that a blanket for everyone over, I don't know, what was that?
	Almost half a million subscribers.
	And it would have been way more, except for being throttled and shadowbanned, and I assume all that kind of stuff.
	I have no proof, but I assume.
	So they could say, everyone over a quarter million followers who was banned, here's what we're going to do.
	You know, if they turned out that they accused me of things I didn't do, they would admit to that.
	They would give advertising credit and they would say, you know, here's your account manager that if you ever start to cross the line, they're going to give you a call and whatever, right?
	I mean, would it be expensive?
	Good Lord. I mean, Elon Musk just fired 80% of the workers.
	You don't think they could hire a couple of more workers as account managers for the larger accounts?
	Of course they could. And they would do that to rebuild trust in the organization.
	If it spreads good for the greater good, yes.
	Word salad is not an argument.
	All right. Any advice for a tradesmanship apprenticeship?
	There's a lot of regulations and a gatekeeper mentality among useful info at the library and internet.
	I've just been calling around and applying, but they ask your age, and if disabled, then I think that may work against me.
	I'm sorry, that's very specific advice for a particular field, which I don't have any experience in.
	I can't really. Are you calling me a mouse?
	Oh, are you one of these literal guys?
	Right. Okay, let's say that living with integrity and shattering my family of origin and early friendship, well, 20, sometimes 30 years of friendships, to live with integrity, facing down my family of origin and decades-long friendships, let's say, let's put that at 100, right?
	But that was like a maximum challenge in terms of integrity.
	Let's put that at 100. Where, Evan, do you think you are in that difficulty?
	I'm just curious, right?
	Where are you in that difficulty level?
	Are you 1 out of 100?
	10 out of 100? 99 out of 100?
	0.1? I'm just curious what you think.
	All right.
	Is Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
	legit? Not sure what you mean by legit.
	You ever have this thing? Every now and then I have a little bite.
	I'm just eating something and I bite a little bit of the inside of my lip.
	Then of course it swells up and you're more likely to bite it again.
	Turn into basically my own shark.
	Somebody says, my father is a workaholic.
	Felt like I was a bother and that no one wanted to spend time with me.
	So now I cling desperately to any connection I can get.
	Right. And I'm sorry about that.
	This is not causal. You can break that cycle.
	So... Here's the problem with workaholism, is it tends to be very short-sighted.
	So, if I... Listen, I could easily do this job 16 hours a day.
	It's incredibly absorbing, engaging, powerful.
	The requests are almost bottomless in terms of call-in shows and interviews and collaborations and so on.
	I could easily do this job 18 hours a day.
	I certainly have the intellectual acuity and endurance to do that.
	I could do this job 18 hours a day.
	I'd barely see my family.
	And let's say that made me more money, right?
	It made me some more money, right?
	But I don't see my family.
	And let's say my wife gets tired of this after a while and leaves me.
	Okay? Oh, look at all that extra money I made walking out the door.
	And let's say when I get old, I'm alone.
	I've got to hire nurses and people to take care of me rather than being married, maybe having a wife, you know, whatever it is, and maybe a daughter who comes over to help out or whatever, right?
	So, oh, look at all that money I made.
	It's gone, right? Workaholism, all that money you make, well, you pay it in taxes, you pay it in childcare expenses, you pay it in divorce lawyers, you pay it in nursing when you get older.
	What do you do?
	I mean, I have a built-in social circle with having a family.
	I don't have that family. I've got to spend a whole lot more money going out and doing fun stuff with people, which is expensive.
	So, workaholism is like, oh, look at all this money I'm making.
	Yeah, and look at it.
	You're just a flow-through mechanism for that money.
	Walking out the door with your ex-wife, walking out the door with your kid who doesn't care about you.
	Like, this workaholism, it's not for the person.
	It's not for the benefit of the person.
	It sure as hell isn't for the family.
	You know, I bet you Stephen Crowder is worth tens of millions of dollars.
	I bet. I bet. He's worked very hard.
	I have no doubt about that.
	He's worked very hard. Very creative guy.
	Very funny guy. Very intelligent guy.
	Great communicator.
	His, what was it, Skylar Turton or something like that?
	His woke character that I did debates with back in the day.
	Very funny. Very intelligent.
	Brilliant stuff in many ways.
	I mean, he's close to a media genius in my view.
	Good for him. Good for him.
	And I assume, I don't think he's fundamentally in it for the money, although his negotiations with the Daily Wire, I can't remember, his negotiations might question that.
	Okay, so what's going to happen to his money now?
	Like all that working, all of that money, and again, I don't think he was primarily in it for the money.
	I think he's got a cause. I think it's not just a gig, it's a calling.
	Okay, so he worked very hard, made a lot of money, I assume.
	Where's that money going? It's going with his wife.
	Did that workaholism pay up?
	Oh, I just want to make money for my family.
	It's like, not if it's at the expense of your family.
	And of course, if you've got a, I don't know anything about what's going on, so this is purely theoretical, right?
	But if you've got a wife who's like, honey, I miss you, you're working too hard, you're never home, right?
	And listen, I tell you this straight up, I don't know if you've ever been in this kind of situation, but an audience can be really, really compelling and seductive.
	You guys woo me. You know, when my daughter was young and, you know, she wanted to play Jenga for the 1200th time that day or pick up sticks, you know, the moment you've got to pick up the stick without the other sticks being picked up and all of that, right?
	Okay, or I could go out and explore the depths of the human psyche and the moral universe with a caller or a live stream, or I could get great questions and answer them and really be sparking on infinite cylinders in the giant hive mind between my ears, right? You guys are very tempting and very seductive.
	And I love you for it.
	I thank you for it. It's a completely wonderful thing.
	I hope you know how much I appreciate it.
	And when I say you bring out the best in me philosophically, it's very true.
	And I absolutely completely appreciate it.
	But it can be really addictive.
	It can be really addictive to get applause rather than hugs.
	To get cheers rather than kisses.
	It's a dangerous drug, public life.
	It's a dangerous drug.
	You get a lot more positive feedback in the short run from doing a live stream than you do from parenting.
	Because parenting, the payoff is down the road.
	With this, you can help people in the here and now, right now, and change their lives.
	Like I just did a call today with a woman.
	I mean, she openly said, this has changed my entire life.
	I get these emails, like one call.
	I listen, not even the calls that I'm talking with someone.
	People listen to the calls, like, this has changed my whole life.
	Boom! Right? Trust me, my daughter is not at the end of the day saying, well, Father, you did such a magnificent job of fathering today.
	I really felt like you've changed my life.
	I mean, of course she doesn't, right?
	Because she's around me and it's a different thing, right?
	So it's really, really...
	Addictive. And it's not just like you guys in the public sphere.
	It's not the public sphere as a whole. And listen, if you're listening to this and you're in the public sphere, you know, like the crowders or the pools or whoever, right?
	You know all the people. You know what I'm talking about.
	That if you have a personal relationship...
	That gives you a certain amount of happiness.
	There's a different kind of excitement that comes from doing the high wire act of reason and evidence in an increasingly dangerous world live in front of people with that kind of positive and negative feedback flowing through your brain in real time.
	It's a heightened state in some ways and it's very cool.
	The high of the performance, right?
	If you are just hanging out, like if you're a comedian, right?
	And you're hanging around The dinner table, chatting with people and so on.
	That's one thing, right? But you're out there and you're in a comedy club with 500 people and they're laughing uproariously at your jokes.
	That's a whole other thing. And it's a really heady thing and it's a really addictive thing.
	And it's a dangerous thing.
	Look, I love you guys. I don't ever want to stop doing this.
	It's fantastic. It reaches deep within me and brings out things I didn't even know I had.
	And it's a beautiful thing. And we really do participate and collaborate in the beauty and the eternal beauty of these shows.
	These are not ephemeral, these will last forever.
	But you don't want to substitute Approval or success or money or fame or cheers or curses.
	You don't want to substitute popularity for intimacy, for love, for one-on-one relationships with the people you most care about in the long run.
	But it's tempting, right?
	Especially when what you're doing has a moral dimension.
	Because when it has a moral dimension, you say, well, what's the point of being a good parent if the world goes to hell?
	It's sort of like there's a flood coming into the village, right?
	There's a flood coming into the village and everybody, they're all running past, all your buddies and your brothers and your cousins are all running past saying, dude, get out here.
	We've got to dig a ditch to save the village and our crops from being drowned by this horrible seawater that's coming splashing in, right?
	The salt is going to kill all the crops.
	It will starve to death this winter.
	Right? And as a man, right, in particular women too, but mostly men, I think.
	As a man, you're like, well, would you say, no, no, no, you guys go ahead, you dig the ditch, you save the village from the salt water that's going to kill all the crops and wash away our houses, because I'm right in the middle of playing Jenga with my kid.
	You'd say, well, there's not much point playing Jenga with my kid if it means we all starved to death this winter, so I'm going to go and repel the invaders or hunt the last deer in the neighborhood or dig the ditch to save the village.
	I've got a cause! And as men, we get yanked off into these causes all the time.
	I mean, war being the big one, right?
	And if you said, no, no, no, I can't come and save the village because I'm playing Jenga with my kid, they'd be like...
	Forget the kid. You won't have any hut to play Jenga in.
	And you go off.
	You've got a cause, particularly a moral cause.
	Man, it is so seductive.
	Is it a gig or is it a calling?
	Well, when it's both, that's really tough.
	If it's just a calling, then you're like a monk, right?
	It's not really like you're in it for...
	It's not like you're in it for getting to some middle-class lifestyle.
	You're in there just vow of poverty and it's a calling.
	If it's just a gig, then, you know, you just, I don't know, make money and quit or whatever.
	Don't take any risks. But if it's a gig and a calling, if it's what you need to survive at some minimum level of comfort and also it's a moral calling, oh man, that's a...
	Right? And I'm telling you, everybody who's in this sphere knows exactly what I'm talking about.
	And I hope that they will really think about it.
	Because here's the other thing too.
	What's the point of saving the village if your kids don't care about you when you get older?
	What's the point of saving the village if your wife divorces you?
	It's tension. Don't we all have that?
	I want to save the world.
	I want to be close to my family.
	And the two are in opposition.
	A lot. Really want to help the world.
	Really want to spend quality time with my family.
	If all I do is spend quality time with my family and the world goes to hell, I will have made a big mistake.
	If I try and save the world and my family goes to hell, I've made a big mistake.
	This is a real tension in the world.
	It's a real tension in the world.
	I don't have, obviously, any magical answers because this is an Aristotelian meme.
	If I have the capacity to make the world a better place and I don't and the world goes to shit, then I feel like I should have and I will regret it.
	If I pour all of my efforts into making the world a better place and whether I succeed or fail, I probably won't succeed, but even if I do succeed in making the world a better place but my family goes to hell, I have made a terrible mistake and sacrificed things.
	The tension between the world and the home, between the potential predators out there and the very real love in here, is a very real thing.
	How many people navigate this successfully?
	It's a big, big job.
	Half the motivation to make the world better comes out of my love for my family, in particular
	for my daughter.
	However, if I work to make the world a better place at the expense of my relationship with
	my daughter, that's a bad decision.
	Thank you.
	It's really, really complicated.
	I have spent, I can't even tell you, how many hours trying to thread this needle,
	trying to navigate this maze, trying to get through this beggars canyon.
	Tim Pool just has a girlfriend.
	girlfriend is not married yet, doesn't have kids.
	How did Stephen Crowder thread this maze?
	I don't know. If his wife's complaint was he worked too much, then I would argue that he made an unwise decision to work that much.
	Now, people will say, I'm not speaking for him, of course, I can say to myself, well, my audience needs me, the world needs me, I make the world a better place, think of all the families I've helped improve, think of the millions of children I've had not get hit or circumcised or yelled at, homeschooled, right?
	And that's all important. That's a very real thing.
	thing, I'm not making that up, that's a very real factual thing.
	But it's very easy to conflate the good that you're doing in the world with the addictive
	nature of interacting with an audience.
	Thank you.
	Because it's a high. Being with you guys is a high.
	I'm not a masochist.
	I don't do it because I hate it.
	I do it because I love philosophy.
	I love you guys. And...
	Philosophy gets better when we get together.
	I might like it better if we slept together.
	Philosophy gets better when we get together.
	And what is philosophy for?
	It is there to serve the world and it is there to serve me.
	And I'm there to serve the world and to serve...
	I'm there to serve your world, our world, and my world.
	Your world is the call and shows.
	Our world are the live streams.
	my world is my time with my family.
	Workaholics lose.
	Thank you for your views.
	They're gained in the short run, like any drug, right?
	Meth addicts lose, but in the short run, I bet you it's a blast.
	I bet you it's fantastic.
	I mean, they're not stupid, right?
	Heroin users lose.
	People who have sex addictions lose in the long run, but I'm sure it's a greasy porn stash robes and oils blasted in the short run, right?
	A friend of mine was telling me about some documentary about some wrestler who was saying, Oh, yeah, like I'm on the road 300 days a year.
	I got three girls in my bed.
	They'll do anything I want. I'm supposed to just go and make love to my wife missionary style?
	Like, blah, right? Or was it Magic J? Julia Serving?
	Who's the guy who got AIDS? Some basketball player, right?
	Okay, well... Had a lot of fun in the short run, and then, right?
	Pay me now, pay me later, right?
	If I had the capacity to do all the good that I've done in the world, which I have and did and have done, and will continue to do, if I have that capacity and I just stay home with my family, I think I am not making a wise decision.
	Because then if the world goes badly, which it seems to be, if the world goes badly, I'll sit there and say, I should have done something, I could have done something, and have that regret.
	If you have kids and then they grow up in a world that's not particularly free and you feel like I really should have done something, you will feel regret.
	On the other hand, if you save everyone else or try to at the expense of your own life, your own family, and honestly, this is the behind-the-scenes stuff.
	Like, why am I still going after 17, 18 years?
	Because I think about this stuff a lot and try and make sure that I make the right decisions.
	All right, let's get back to you.
	If you were unbanned from YouTube, would you not post there as well?
	I would not post on YouTube.
	Like, that's a fuck no for me.
	That is a fuck no for me with YouTube.
	YouTube was far worse than Twitter for me.
	Alright.
	Let me get back to your questions.
	I haven't forgotten the other stuff I want to talk about.
	Yeah, your call-in shows have changed my life.
	Yes, they do. They change my life, too.
	Never understood those kids in college who bragged about pulling all-nighters.
	What's the point of writing a paper or taking an exam half asleep?
	All right, let's see here.
	...
	Let me just get back to your question.
	Sorry, I missed a bunch of you. All right.
	No, I didn't call you a troll, by the way.
	Would you recommend a leftist watch nefarious movie, even unless this claims to be Christian?
	Sure. I mean, it's a good topic of conversation.
	Steph, do you still plan to have a show where we talk about the book, The Present?
	Yes, I do.
	And by the way, thank you guys so much for your tips.
	I really am unpacking my heart, and if you find it of value, and it's helpful to you in your work-life balance, because this is not just about me and these live streams.
	This is about you and your work and what you do in the world and what you do at home.
	If you find this valuable and clarifying, please, please, if you could hit a tip, I would really, really appreciate it.
	Thank you. Twitter stock price goes up when Steph goes back on Twitter.
	Yeah, yeah. Guess who appeared on Twitter at 8pm earlier?
	Oh, Tucker Carlson?
	I am in agreement with your Twitter position, but I had a thought.
	since Twitter is not a person would it be reasonable to make only one Twitter
	post about how being unbanned is not an apology to Elon or to the official
	Twitter account?
	I don't know.
	I haven't really thought about it.
	Even CNN... See, here's the thing, too.
	Like, it's an integrity thing for me.
	If I inherited a company that had engaged in significant misconduct and falsehoods against innocent people, I would do a public apology, right?
	Isn't that just, again I know America litigious society and so on, but I would be like, you know,
	hey I bought this company and you know I reviewed this and they said this that was false and that was the false and so
	on, right?
	So wouldn't you make an apology?
	Wouldn't you try to make some restitution if your company has wronged people and really said some pretty negative things and treated them unjustly and unfairly?
	Wouldn't you? I mean, it's still the same entity.
	Oh, well, there's different management.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's still the same entity.
	It's still the same legal and business entity, right?
	All right. No, technically, Twitter's not the same entity anymore.
	Really? So Twitter's not the same entity anymore, so you can't buy and sell Twitter stock?
	It doesn't capitalize on the same user base?
	They just shut down everything and move to a whole different service, a whole different company, new logo?
	Of course it's the same entity.
	Do you not understand how corporations work?
	If you don't, that's fine, but then don't talk about things you don't understand.
	Of course it's the same entity.
	Listen, I've bought, I've sold a company twice.
	I know what it is to have corporate continuity.
	All right, of course it's the same company.
	Oh, but it's new management. Yes, it is new management, but it's the same entity.
	That's what a corporation means.
	All right. Any tips for how to break out of that cycle of clinging?
	Yes. The only way to break out of a childhood cycle is grief and anger.
	You grieve and you're angry.
	The grief, here's the thing, right?
	I did not get love as a child.
	I got some sickly maternal over-investment really designed to set sibling against sibling.
	I did not get love.
	I received violence and abuse, both verbal and physical, and other kinds.
	And neglect.
	Now, that shit doesn't end until you grieve it.
	See, what grieving is, is it's never getting fixed, right?
	It's never getting fixed.
	Grieving is when you accept it's never getting fixed.
	What could I do as an adult that would fix being treated with such contempt and violence as a child?
	What could I do as an adult that would fix that?
	The answer? Nothing!
	There's absolutely nothing that I can do as an adult to fix that as a child.
	If you didn't get enough food when you were growing up and you're two inches shorter than you otherwise would have been, what can you do to fix that once you're an adult?
	Nothing! All you can do is grieve the missing two inches and be angry at the assholes who inflicted that upon you.
	People always want closure, and I think closure is a fine thing.
	Closure is just when you know the truth about the situation.
	So if you were constantly reaching for your parents who rejected you when you were a child, you can't ever fix that.
	Clinging to new people won't fix it.
	Avoiding people won't fix it.
	Nothing you do. Drugs won't fix it.
	Money can't buy it, baby.
	What's that line? Won't somebody tell me what we're coming to?
	Might take forever till we watch these dreams come true.
	All the money in the world won't buy you peace of mind.
	You can have it all, but you still won't be satisfied.
	Yeah, you can't fix it.
	You can't fix it.
	It won't be fixed. It can't be fixed.
	And you grieve that. I will never, ever, in my entire time on this life, I will never, ever, ever have a remotely happy childhood.
	Ever. It's as impossible as time travel.
	If you had an unhappy childhood, you will never ever have a happy childhood.
	There's no fixing it.
	There's no recovery in that you can go back and undo it.
	You can get better from it and you can even be stronger because of it.
	But you can't undo it.
	And you grieve.
	The love that I have as an adult, which is deep and powerful and considerable and I'm grateful for it every day, the love that I receive as an adult It does not fix the love I didn't get as a child.
	In fact, it highlights the difference.
	It's almost more painful in a way, which is why those of us who were unloved as children also avoid love as an adult.
	Because it's too fucking painful to be loved as an adult when you were only hated or ignored
	for 20 years before, or 30 or 40.
	So how do you get over the clinging?
	Thank you.
	You cling to people because you think that's going to fix what you didn't get when you were a child.
	Like you might overeat.
	Like you might overeat because you didn't get enough food as a child.
	That doesn't fix what happened as a child.
	It doesn't make you taller, it just makes you whiter, right?
	If you didn't get what you needed as a child, and Lord knows most of us didn't, if you didn't get what you needed as a child, and I'm not just talking at home, I'm talking about woke shitty schools and cuck churches and so on.
	If you didn't get what you needed as a child, you will never ever get what you needed as a child.
	Why? Because you're not a child anymore.
	You're not a child anymore.
	If you weren't breastfed, when can you be breastfed?
	Never. If you weren't held as a baby, when can you be held as a baby?
	When you're an adult. Never.
	That time has come and gone.
	It is dead in the water.
	It is lost to history. It is impossible.
	To redo, there are no mulligans for your childhood.
	I'm not talking about if something, you know, someone snaps at you as a kid and then apologizes and gives you a hug.
	I'm not talking about that stuff. I'm talking about like chronic, shitty, fucking parenting.
	abuse, neglect, violence, hatred, contempt, the caustic, acidic, interstellar fog of indifference.
	You grieve because it can't be undone, and it can't be fixed.
	So you're chasing, you're clinging to people in the hopes that if you can attach yourself to people, it will fix what happened to you as a child.
	But it won't, because you're not a child anymore.
	And just as you were used as a child, if you're chasing after people and clinging to them because you felt isolated as a child, you're trying to use them to fix your childhood, just as your parents were abusing you to try and fix their childhoods.
	Well, I didn't have any power as a child, but I sure as hell can exercise power over this kid.
	Feel better, feel stronger.
	Apes smash down skull feel taller.
	So you grieve.
	You grieve.
	I never got what I needed as a child.
	I will never ever get what I needed as a child.
	There's no time machine, there's no backspace, there's no Ctrl-Z, there's no undo, there's no mulligan, there's no do-overs, there's nothing like that in the world.
	You didn't get what you wanted as a child and now you're an adult.
	You will never, ever have gotten what you wanted as a child.
	You can chase after this until the end of time.
	It won't fix a goddamn thing.
	In fact, it would just make it worse.
	See, if your parents were abusive, your parents want you to have the delusion that you can fix their bad parenting in the present because that way you don't confront them.
	Right? Once I accepted that I couldn't fix anything, well, first of all, it wasn't my fault.
	It had nothing to do with me. I couldn't fix anything that happened to me as a child.
	Couldn't, right? Then I'm angry.
	Then I'm angry. Hit me with a why if you've ever lent money to someone and they never paid you back.
	Somebody says, my life would be so dysfunctional without the self-knowledge I've gotten through listening to this show, my marriage would be hell.
	Fantastic, I'm thrilled.
	Alex Jones seems to see fighting the New World Order as a calling.
	Thank you for watching.
	Well, and didn't he got divorced, right?
	And again, I don't know whatever happened with him either, but this makes me think of musicians who go on tour leaving their children at home.
	What are some tips to know if you're at risk of divorce from workaholism?
	To my mind, you're at greatest risk of divorce when your wife used to complain about missing you, used to complain about you not being around and now she doesn't.
	Like assuming nothing has changed, right?
	If she's like, you're working too hard, come home, we don't need you to work this hard, I miss you, I want to spend time with you.
	When she stops doing that, you're right on the edge.
	And you... You take time off from work.
	You get your vacation days.
	You take sick days.
	Whatever you need to do, you stay home and you commit to your wife who matters and not just the money which doesn't.
	Of course you gotta eat blah blah blah right?
	To your point about only going to family for hugs and kisses compared to listeners
	just another reason to do meetups again Still want to meet you at least once, though.
	Yeah, I'll work on that for sure.
	I am a musician and used to be live sound tech.
	Long hours, crazy people, I now make music for clients from home and don't tour.
	Much happier. Yeah. Uh, Stefan, my friend, listened to your episode on approaching women that you're attracted to and how not doing so is lying to them.
	He's recently been walking on a trail by his home and frequently passes women his age walking in the opposite direction.
	Most times they turn away as they pass him, avoiding eye contact.
	He is wondering why this may be happening.
	He noticed that virtually everyone else on the trail greets him, but not these women his age.
	Yeah, I mean, dude, don't approach women in lonely hiking trails, for God's sakes.
	Hey, I just noticed that it's really dark by your car at the bottom of the parking lot.
	I'm just wondering if I can get your number.
	It's like, man, you'll get a pepper spray to the face, and who would blame them?
	No, you don't approach women.
	If you're going to approach women, do it in a crowded public place where they're not going to be alarmed.
	God, I'm sorry. Have some empathy, right?
	Sorry, I don't mean to be annoying, but...
	No, don't atroach women in some lonely-ass trail in the middle of nowhere.
	Oh, my God. I have a friend who says that had a taste of touring success.
	He said it was fun, but everyone takes your money and a lot of bands still have drug issues.
	Yeah. Yeah.
	Some of this workaholic stuff could be helped by discussing a financial plan before marriage, no?
	Sure, why not?
	All right.
	I agree Steph, but Elon is not a philosopher.
	Oh, Elon Musk? But Elon Musk is a human being, and human beings know that if they wrong someone, you should apologize and try to make restitution.
	Say, ah, yes, but he didn't wrong.
	It's like, no, no, no, he bought the company, he bought the assets, and he bought the liabilities.
	He bought the assets, and he bought the liabilities.
	When he bought the company, he bought the income, and he also bought the liabilities.
	It wasn't like he bought the companies like, hey, I don't have to pay anyone anymore.
	I appreciate your thoughts on workaholism.
	They ring true for me. Thank you.
	I appreciate that. Thank you. Yeah, I agree.
	I brought an opinion to my parents and they got angry.
	This led to me bringing up a lot of childhood stuff and they just shut down and got angry.
	I would not have learned who my parents truly were if I hadn't done that.
	I'm grieving now, but the weight is lifting.
	Yeah. I mean, the grieving, it feels like it's going to go on forever and be bottomless, but it doesn't.
	But it doesn't. I told my parents years ago, I'd have preferred they'd punch me in the face every day and otherwise pay attention to me instead of ignoring me the way they did.
	Yeah, well this is something most children would rather be aggressive against than ignored.
	So if you have had someone, they owe you money and they don't pay it back, you feel pretty
	helpless and pretty frustrated, right?
	Now at some point, and as long as you still want that person to pay you the money back, this is going to bother you, right?
	I've lent money to people and I've just, I've given up.
	I've given up on it. I've given up on it.
	And it's fine. It's like not a big deal.
	I don't really think about it and all that.
	But yeah, I've lent money. I mean, I sent a chunk of money to a listener who was in dire circumstances and ended up just staying up all night playing video games and getting fired.
	It's like, okay, well, whatever.
	I mean, that wasn't a loan.
	That was, you know. But yeah, I mean, when I was younger, I mean, now, I mean, I'm in my 50s.
	Most of my friends don't need loans to cover things.
	But yeah, I left, I loaned money to people.
	And as long as you're expecting that money to get back, it's stressful, right?
	A little bit, right? Because you're constantly waiting and it's part of your plans.
	At some point, you take a deep breath and you go, yeah, I'm never getting that money back.
	Yeah, I'm never getting that money back.
	Now, when you do that, When you accept that you're never going to get the money back, is not a weight lifted from your shoulders?
	Is you're not waiting? You're not planning?
	You're not...
	Yeah, a weight is lifted, right?
	That you can't get your money back.
	Well, you can't get your childhood back.
	And you just say, I'm never going to get my childhood back.
	It's never going to happen. You grieve.
	You grieve the loss of the money, but you also lose the stress of waiting for the money.
	And you start to make your plans like the money ain't coming because the money ain't coming right
	All right, I will close off with a short thing here I'll still look for questions and all that.
	Let me close off with this. So the reason I talked about James O'Keefe, the fires I think, 89 days ago is...
	A lot of people think that their initial successes can be replicated, right?
	So you think of the great meme wars of 2016, right?
	Where people claim that it was memes and all of that that got Trump into office, right?
	And then they think, gosh, well, we'll just do that again.
	It's like, no, but you can't do it again.
	You can't do it again. If you have some super cool move in a boxing match, right?
	In a boxing match, you've got some weird crane on a stick kind of thing, right?
	On a stump. And you do that...
	What happens? Well, the guy, you get him the first time because he's not expecting it.
	But then what happens is the next time he's prepared for it.
	Right? In tennis I have a pretty good, I have a drop shot lob combo, right?
	So I lure the person up to the net with a drop shot and then lob it over their heads, right?
	It works the first couple of times.
	I've got a good spin on my serve.
	First time I'm playing someone, they're like, whoa, where did that go, right?
	And then what do they do?
	They adjust for it. They adjust for it.
	A lot of stuff that goes on in dissident circles is like somebody has a big success and then everyone thinks they can just keep repeating that big success.
	I guess including Trump, right?
	They have a big unexpected success and everyone says, oh, well, they'll just be able to continue doing that.
	And then they fund or give resources or whatever to these people and they say, ah, well, you know, just keep doing that same thing, but they can't.
	I mean, my surf spin will catch people off guard the first time, maybe the second time, after that they've adjusted, right?
	Yeah, it's like chess. Fool's mate works once and not again.
	So, people, you know, there's a thing that says government armies are always fighting the last war.
	And this is very much the case.
	You could maybe meme Trump into office once, but you can't do it twice, because they will have adjusted to the meme thing, and they'll have found another way, right?
	So... That's an important thing to remember.
	When you look at people and you think that they can replicate success, it's very tough.
	I mean, we all know this from movies.
	How many sequels are better than the first?
	I mean, a few. A few.
	Aliens 2, arguably.
	But not Jaws 2.
	And certainly not Back to the Future 2.
	and certainly not anything other than the first matrix.
	So yeah, it's really really important to remember where you put your resources.
	If you look at past successes and think that you're funding future successes, you're probably making a mistake.
	Unless the person says, well, they wouldn't tell you, but they would have to completely change their strategy.
	They would have to completely change their strategy.
	Because whoever they won against last time is absolutely...
	Going to be adjusting to that strategy and changing whatever they're doing in response.
	Toy Story 2. I will say Toy Story 2 was pretty good.
	Yeah, it was pretty good. And again, there are exceptions for sure.
	But again, that's not a battle stuff, right?
	So... I hope that you understand that when you look at sort of public figures of people you like and people in politics and all of that...
	The only way that they can continue to win is to keep changing their strategies without telling anyone, and you only find out about it in hindsight.
	And if they are doing the same things that they did before, they won't win.
	They won't win as a whole.
	It is... Warfare is constantly shifting.
	Battles are constantly shifting.
	And if your strategies are not consistently shifting, you will lose.
	Because you're giving...
	By repeating the same strategy, you were giving your enemy the absolute chance to adapt to whatever you're doing and lose.
	So the same strategy is unlikely to work, but a similar strategy might have a chance?
	Well, there's no such thing as the same strategy.
	Because it's a different time.
	I mean, there's no such thing as the same strategy.
	No, similar strategies don't have a chance.
	You've got to think, you've got to be doing something that is unanticipated.
	Right? You have to do something that's unanticipated by the other person.
	Now, if you've got a similar strategy, it's going to be anticipated and it's going to be baked into the calculations, right?
	So, that's really important to followers.
	And this is true in your own life as well.
	If you have a victory and you think, oh, I'll just do that again, you won't.
	It won't work. It won't work.
	And I would strongly suggest...
	Avoiding that kind of stuff. And it works in dissident circles as well.
	That if you have the same strategy or a similar strategy, it won't work.
	Because they will have already adapted to that.
	It has to be something that your enemy has not thought of.
	Which means it's got to be way outside the box.
	And so usually people win because what they're doing is way outside the box.
	And then they want to just keep doing that because it's familiar, right?
	But if what gets you the victory the first time is something way outside the box, you have to keep doing things way outside the box, peacefully and reasonably, of course.
	You have to keep doing things way outside the box in order for victories to continue.
	All right. If you would like any last tips, I think it's been a pretty good show, send me to bed in...
	With a smile on my face.
	I poured heart, soul and mind and body, baby, into this show.
	If you haven't tipped and you're watching or you're listening later, freedomain.com forward slash donate.
	I would really, really appreciate that.
	And please don't forget to, you know, you guys have been absolutely fantastic.
	Let me give you a wee bonus here.
	Let me give you a wee bonus.
	A wee bonus. Don't leave yet, my friends.
	Don't leave yet.
	I demand it.
	I won't have it.
	I won't have it.
	Alright, here's the thing. I will give you the feed to my History of Philosopher series.
	Normally just for subscribers, but, my friends, I will give it to you.
	As a way of saying thank you for being part of the show tonight.
	It really does mean the world to me.
	For some reason, are they unpinned now?
	Why have they gone?
	I don't remember unpinning these things.
	Where has it gone?
	Hang on. You'd think I would be comfortable with this by now.
	You would be wrong!
	All right, here we go.
	Oh yes, here we go.
	Alright. A new window.
	It's a new dawn.
	It's a new day.
	Alright, here we go. This is the link.
	I will give it to you.
	Did you buy a pirate suit?
	I did not. Okay, here's the link to the feed for the History of Philosophy, and you'll need to copy the link there, the feed, and put it into your podcatcher, whatever you use, iTunes or whatever, Google Podcasts, and you can get the whole History of Philosophy.
	That's normally just for subscribers, but again, I'm very grateful.
	And I'm telling you, not just my belief in some of my best work, but people have said some of my best work, so I hope that you will enjoy it.
	It's Really, really fantastic stuff.
	And I will get back to it soon.
	I just need to kind of clear my head of my last novel, which was a heck of a thing to get at.
	And I hope you will check that out as well.
	I've got new feeds there as well.
	All right. Thanks, everyone, so much for a fantastic evening.
	I love you guys so much. I appreciate the questions.
	The criticisms are all super helpful for me as well.
	And the person, if you do, listen, if you do, I didn't see the answer, you can email me at callin at freedomain.com.
	If you do find evidence of my supposed spite for not posting on Twitter, please send it to me because I sure as heck wouldn't want to be acting blind and not seeing something obvious.
	Take care, everyone. Have a great, great night.

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