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May 1, 2022 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

01:49:02

WHY THERE IS SO MUCH RAGE!

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	So, I could leave it up to you.
	I could leave it up to you. So, we can...
	I don't know what's going on with this echo here.
	I'll have to figure that out at some point.
	So, I think the audio chatty part might be a bit challenging.
	But... I can give you a rant or I can give you a wee read from my new book.
	Fireside Chat. Rant or book?
	I will leave it up to you.
	Rant or book? R or B? R or B? You just let me know.
	You just let me know.
	Rant please. Steph's brain spends 12 hours charging up for a massive discharge at 7pm.
	Brains, sure. You prefer rant?
	Because the book's kind of ranty.
	Both. No, no, she's one or the other.
	Ah, no spoilers. No, I wouldn't read for you.
	I just read the beginning of the book. Okay, so it looks like we are all here for a rant.
	Well, very well. Rant it is.
	All right. So...
	Alright, let me take off the intro thing here.
	So you probably have wondered, I think as we all have, the amount of hostility that is coming out of certain sectors.
	I mean, some on the left, some on the right.
	I think a little bit more on the left.
	But the hostility, the sort of rage, the anger that's coming out of certain sectors of society.
	Just this hair-trigger rage.
	There was this woman who was posting about how when she was like An overweight leftist with a half-shaved head.
	Everybody said she was beautiful and wonderful and perfect just the way she was.
	And then when she let her hair grow, got married, had kids, and then did videos on why she left the left, you know, people are now saying that she's this fat, rude, racist word and she deserves to get cancer.
	Like this level of hostility, this level of anger, this level of rage is really something.
	It's really something.
	And I am here...
	To tell you what it is, where it's coming from, and why it's happening.
	Okay, so...
	Going out to the audience, right?
	So, let me know...
	Have you ever been...
	I'm not talking about childhood, like as an adult.
	Have you ever been dependent, utterly...
	On other people's resources, other people's money.
	In other words, have you been dependent on money from the taxpayer or money from the state?
	Have you been dependent on borrowing money from people?
	Have you been dependent on someone else?
	Particularly if you're a woman, right?
	That's why there aren't many homeless women because they can always trade their V for rent, right?
	So have you ever been dependent on another person for resources?
	Yeah. So this would be parents when you're an adult, right?
	Okay. All right.
	Anybody else? Yes, but they wanted to help me.
	I didn't ask for it. Okay, yes, parents.
	No, not parents as a child.
	A good day, right? Parents in my 20s.
	Not since I was 15. Husband, yeah.
	Okay, that's the traditional setup, right?
	That you're dependent on your husband for income, but you trade value by running his household, raising his kids and all that, right?
	Last job once.
	Yes. Yes, boyfriend.
	Okay, right.
	Have you ever hit me with a Y if you've ever seen or read the play, A Streetcar Named Desire?
	Written by gay icon Tennessee Williams.
	Thank you.
	Oh, you got unemployment once in your life?
	Yeah, for a few years in my 20s.
	You've seen parts of the movie?
	Yeah, it's, I mean, watching the Marlon Brando when he was young and a tasty slab of 50s beefcake, well worth watching.
	It's one of the most amazing acting jobs.
	And Tennessee Williams had a fair influence on me when I was younger.
	I was very struck by the fragility and tenderness of his very first sort of successful play.
	Basically, it was about his sister, whose name I think was Laura.
	Did I get that right? And his sister was very fragile and schizophrenic.
	And Glass Menagerie is a pretty good version with Joanna Woodward.
	Joanna Woodhouse? Woodward, I think it is, the wife of Paul Newman.
	And she plays the mother. I can't remember who plays the sister.
	But a young John Malkovich plays the son.
	And... Tennessee Williams was quite tortured by the mental illness of his sister who had, again, massive fragility and schizophrenia was in and out of mental institutions.
	And he actually had a lifelong fear of choking to death.
	He had a lifelong paranoia of choking to death.
	And then, oddly enough, he died relatively young.
	Tennessee Williams, the playwright, he died.
	He was choking on the cap of a medicine, like I think of a prescription medicine container or something like that.
	He actually ended up choking to death.
	After a lifelong period of joking to death, one of these strange coincidences.
	But he was one of the most famous playwrights of the 20th century.
	And one of these people, too, kind of like some of the French playwrights, but, you know, quite attractive when he was younger.
	And then when he got older, I remember my mother had a book written by Tennessee Williams where he talks about golden showers with his boyfriend.
	So... Not the most elevated discourse later on in his life, but quite a beautiful young man and really an amazing writer, an amazing writer.
	The story, I think he was in New Orleans and he was writing and he couldn't come up with a story and there was a streetcar that went back and forth in front of his room.
	I think he was, you know, a struggling playwright.
	They don't make much money. I remember one of the reasons I ended up not being a playwright in Canada is the average income for a playwright in Canada is $2,000 a year.
	Might have been fine in 1850 but not so good now.
	So Tennessee Williams was trying to, just pounding his head, you know, that's what this old saying about writing is easy, you just stare at a blank page until beads of blood form on your forehead.
	But he was without inspiration and in New Orleans and a streetcar went back and forth in front of his house.
	And streetcars, for those of you who don't know, they have their final destination is on a piece of text at the top of the streetcar.
	And one way the streetcar went was Desire.
	There was a place called Desire, which the streetcar went to, and then the other way that the streetcar went was called Cemetery.
	The final destination was a region or suburb or something called Cemetery.
	So when he was looking at the poles of desire and cemetery, he started to concoct the story of a streetcar named desire.
	And a streetcar named desire is a play of extraordinary depth and layers and complexity and so on.
	And has always been vaguely incomprehensible to me.
	And... It's basically the story of Blanche Dubois as sort of a gay man.
	I mean, in that it's a hyper-exaggeration of femininity.
	You take femininity and you dial it up to completely absurd levels and you get Blanche Dubois and there's a lot of, you know, gay references throughout that.
	The story, and sorry if you haven't seen it, a couple of spoilers here about, you know, the place, what, 70 years old or something, I think we can handle it.
	But Blanche Dubois is a woman of extraordinary sexual appetites who has basically slept with everything that moves and attempts to seduce a paperboy.
	Like somebody comes to collect...
	Now, in the play, it's usually played by a young man, maybe 17 or 18.
	But I had a paper route when I was 12, and I would have to go and collect money from the people to pay for the paper route.
	This was long before visas and automatic payments and so on.
	So you'd have to go and actually get cash, and you'd take the cash deposit in the bank account of the newspaper company.
	And so when you see a paperboy coming, it's A child, usually, again, portrayed as a slightly older or older in the play for reasons of obviously of not having the playhouse burned down or whatever, right? But she actually tries to seduce a boy in the play and says that she has to keep her hands off him, it's too dangerous and so on.
	So I think a lot of fairly predatory references in the In the play, and Blanche Dubois, the Mesodomane character, was married to a man who turned out to be gay.
	And she railed against him for being gay, and he ended up killing himself.
	This is one of the tragedies that she holds with her as she moves forward through life.
	So she was a schoolteacher, and she was, if I remember rightly, she was fired for promiscuity.
	It may have been with the students. I can't remember.
	It's been a long time since I saw the play.
	But she ends up... Taking refuge in her sister's house.
	And her sister is married to a man named Stanley Kowalski.
	And Stanley Kowalski is referred to by Tennessee Williams as the Gordy Seed Bearer.
	He's a powerful male.
	He's primitive. He's sexual.
	He's instinctive.
	He's a little violent when crossed and so on.
	It's a very, very compelling character.
	And he really fiercely protects his family and realizes that having this crazy spinster move into his house is going to be incredibly destructive to his marriage because he's got this happy marriage.
	And the Dubois family come from sort of southern aristocracy and Blanche Dubois is...
	Looking at her sister married to this brute of a man and saying, don't hang back with the apes.
	Sort of one of the powerful lines in the play.
	Don't hang back with the apes.
	So, you know, referring to the man who's providing to you, providing your...
	Shelter and food and a huge amount of liquor because she's an alcoholic as well, on top of all the general hysteria.
	But referring to the man whose protection you're under as an ape and undermining his marriage is obviously very self-destructive.
	And then Blanche Dubois, over the course of the play, latches on to an army buddy of Stanley Kowalski's named Mitch.
	And... Mitch wants to marry her.
	She's very charming and very, you know, don't touch me, I'm such a little fragile flower.
	This woman who slept with everything that moves and can't stand an unpeeled grape because it's coarse.
	And Mitch is going to marry her, but then, because Stanley Kowalski is suspicious of this woman and thinks she's a compulsive liar, which she is, goes and finds out about what happened back in the South where Blanche Dubois came from and finds out that she was fired for having affairs, I think, with students and had no money and lost the house because she wouldn't pay any of the bills or stay up or be responsible at all.
	And then he tells his friend who's going to marry about the actual history of this woman, and his friend is really angry.
	You know, if a woman has had sex with everything that moves, and then is pretending to be chased in her sort of mid-40s for you, you feel cheated, right?
	You feel lied to and angry, so...
	And then he's winning, right?
	So Stanley Kowalski, he buys her a bus ticket out, buys her a bus ticket back to Laurel.
	He gets her out of his house because she's undermining his marriage.
	And he's also cleaning Ness, right?
	Because he's got his wife pregnant and they're going to have a baby and they're very happy about it.
	So he's cleaning house.
	He's got to get this crazy, neurotic, insane woman out of his house so that she doesn't destroy his marriage.
	And he wants to enjoy being a father without this nutty woman around drinking up his liquor and I mean,
	he's totally won.
	He's totally won.
	You know, he finds her repulsive.
	He's a little bit of a caricature of masculinity, as well as Blanche DuBois being a significant caricature of femininity, in the way that gay aesthetics sometimes are.
	Then he rapes her, which is completely insane.
	He's totally won. He got the crazy woman out.
	He's saved his friend from marriage to the old-timey version of Amber Heard.
	He's got a baby on the way, his wife loves him, and then he just goes and rapes this crazy woman.
	It makes no sense to me. It's never made any sense to me.
	Anyway, so the point of this story is there's a line that's one of the most famous lines in 20th century plays, playwrights.
	So when Blanche Dubois is finally being hauled off to the insane asylum, because she's completely lost her mind, and because she's cried wolf and lied so often when she tells her sister that Stanley raped her, The sister doesn't believe her.
	And there is a brutal scene where Blanche Dubois is older and so she always wants to be seen in the dark.
	She takes these bare light bulbs and puts these Chinese lanterns over them and her boyfriend complains like, you never want to see me during the day.
	I can never see you during the day. I'm only seeing you in this darkness.
	And there's this scene, it's really quite powerful, where Stanley Kowalski is just ripping down all of this stuff.
	All these pretensions, you cover everything up, you shade everything, you create lies.
	She's like, no, it's not lies, it's magic.
	No, it's not magic. It's lies.
	It's falsehoods. And just tears everything down and reasserts base epistemological masculinity in the face of these deceptive falsehoods and these diaphanous dance of the seven veils, twirly, head-spinning nonsense of, I'm just so virginal.
	So, anyway, Stanley Kowalski, they call the insane asylum, say, you've got to come pick up this crazy woman, and a doctor comes in and tries to corner her, and she's aware, because she's gone kind of crazy, but she's aware that...
	She's going to be probably taken to an asylum.
	Maybe she'd been to one before. And she runs.
	And then the doctor calms her down and says, you know, come with me.
	Puts her arm out.
	Tells the nurse to stop grabbing at her and pulling her and just, you know, escorts her like a gentleman out of the apartment.
	And Blanche Dewey turns to the man, smiles cockatishly and says, whoever you are, I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.
	And this was a massively famous line.
	It hit people in the fields, it hit people in the core, and I never got it.
	Never got it. Whoever you are, I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.
	Now, that line has never made any sense to me.
	Why it's so famous? Why is it so famous?
	famous.
	Why is it so powerful?
	Why is it considered to be one of the greatest lines of 20th century stagecraft?
	So I can tell you why.
	But Blanche, yeah, she's post-fertility and I think she's in her mid-40s or whatever.
	Tennessee's defamatory revenge against straight people.
	The rape. So...
	Well, and of course, she slept with everything that moved.
	Blanche Dubois, in her 20s and her 30s, she was married, she was incredibly cruel, drove a man to death, and now she's ready to settle down, now that she's post-egg, right?
	So, although she'd be a hell of a mother.
	I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.
	Quoted everywhere. It's carved into the brains and hearts of all theater fans from the 20th century.
	And, of course, I went to theater school, read...
	I mean, I've written like 30 plays.
	I've read countless plays.
	I've acted in just about every genre you could imagine.
	Why is the line so powerful to people?
	Why does it hit people so hard, so strong, so deeply?
	I never got it because...
	FML. I can't conceive.
	Well, okay, here's the funny paradox, right?
	Here's the funny paradox. I was just about to say, I can't conceive of living, of relying on the kindness of strangers.
	Yeah, and if you look right below me, there's freedomain.com forward slash donate.
	So it's kind of this funny paradox that I say, well, I can't conceive of.
	I can't conceive of Relying on the kindness of strangers when, of course, I wouldn't consider you guys strangers, but I do rely on the kindness of strangers as my entire business model.
	It's an interesting paradox.
	Let me see if I can unravel that.
	Well, I mean, of course, the reality is I'm not relying on the kindness of strangers.
	Relying on the kindness of strangers is for them to indulge your fantasies, for them to indulge your narcissism, and I'm really working to provide as much value as humanly possible and then asking for value in return.
	So it's not really the same as relying on the kindness of strangers.
	But I can't imagine what it would be like to simply live your life relying on the kindness of strangers.
	Of strangers.
	Not of Your parents, not of your husband or your wife, or maybe you've got to borrow some money from your friends.
	I think we've all been there at one time or another in our lives.
	But relying on the kindness of strangers.
	In other words, I think what the line breaks down to mean is that only people who don't know you will be kind to you, because once they get to know you, they'll be appalled and horrified.
	So you have to rely on the kindness of strangers, because they don't know you well enough to see through your bullshit.
	And see you for the moral horror that you are.
	And Blanche Dubois is absolutely a moral horror of a human being.
	Like an absolute moral horror of a human being.
	Seduces her students, tries to seduce a child, is promiscuous, lies, attempts and feels superior, and attempts to trap a man into marriage by lying to him.
	And... She also aggresses against Stanley Kowalski.
	Towards the end, when he's ripping down her illusions, which again, what's the point?
	I mean, he's already won. But ripping down her illusions, she breaks a bottle and she says, I'm going to twist this broken bottle in your face.
	So she's got... Kindness to strangers is for attractive women.
	Right. Right.
	Right. Right.
	Always relied on the kindness of strangers.
	Relied, too, is a powerful thing, right?
	What she means is she's always survived on manipulating people who don't know her yet.
	And yes, she was considered to be quite a beauty in her youth.
	And again, Tennessee Williams was, when he was young, and Tom, he was a very attractive guy.
	And when he got older, he just looked like a greasy extra from Scarface, just looked terrible, and again got involved in these, at least if the novel can be believed, urination games with boyfriends and so on.
	So, not ideal from a moral standpoint.
	So, tell me this, if you would.
	Tell me the age you got your first pay.
	It doesn't have to be a formal job.
	It could be like mowing people's lawns.
	It could be shoveling snow off driveways.
	Hit me with your age when you got your first job.
	Your first pay. Not even your first formal job.
	Your first pay. Eight.
	Wow. That's good.
	You beat me by two years. Eight.
	18, alright. 15, 9, 16, 12.
	14, much younger. No, allowance doesn't really count because you don't do something for it usually.
	12, 11. Yeah, so this is...
	You're 14, you were the worst golf caddy ever.
	Right. 18, you sold your first artwork then.
	10, 15. Okay, so most of you are sort of early to mid-teens, right?
	You had a paper route, yeah, when you were 10 or 11.
	And I'm not a morning person, man.
	Those paper routes were brutal. 15, you got a paycheck?
	Right. Yeah, so I got my first pay when I was 10 painting plaques for the Silver Jubilee.
	I think it was for 25 years on the throne back in the day for Queen Elizabeth II. And then I got a job as a paper route.
	And I worked in a bookstore on Sundays, putting the New York Times together.
	And... Yeah, then I just worked as an office cleaner at a mall, cleaned a travel agent's office and a doctor's office in some other places.
	And, yeah, just had jobs.
	Eventually graduated to Waitering, then graduated to Office Temp Work, then graduated to Computer Programmer, then started a company.
	So basically, and I've been paying my own bills since the age of 50.
	Took in roommates and so on, right?
	Because moved my mom out to the West Coast when she was, when she said she always wanted to go to the West Coast and moved her out to the West Coast.
	Had to pay my own bills for the age of 50.
	So I've never been dependent on the kindness of strangers, right?
	And again, I don't count donations as depending on the kindness of strangers, because honestly, I think that I add the most possible value of all the talking heads in the world.
	I do. I mean, I'm not saying that is true.
	I'm just saying that's what I believe.
	Because if I thought somebody else was adding more value, I'd go and work for them.
	I think I'm adding the most value, the most range of topics, the deepest insights, I think the broadest knowledge base and the most training and hopefully a reasonably good delivery with some positivity and humor.
	So I think that I add sort of maximum value.
	And You know, it's funny because people always say, oh, so arrogant.
	It's like, of course.
	Why wouldn't you aim for the very top of whatever it is that you're doing?
	I've never understood. Why would you want to?
	Well, you know, I don't mind being a bit player.
	No, aim to be the best.
	Aim to be the very best. Why not?
	Because it's vanity to assume you can't get there, right?
	Because vanity is when you have knowledge ahead of evidence, right?
	If Paul McCartney referred to himself as a musical genius in an interview, and yeah, okay, I don't think, it's not arrogance if the bird says I can fly.
	Yeah, he's a musical genius, without a doubt.
	So, to me, the arrogance is not aiming for the top, because it's saying ahead of time that you know where your limits are of ability, and I don't think it's really possible to know the limits of your ability until you aim for the top and end up where you end up.
	For me, aim for the top, work your way down based on evidence.
	Because I've always been of the belief that I do not know where the limits of my abilities are.
	I simply don't. I simply don't know where the limits of my abilities are.
	Why? Because our abilities are largely run by the unconscious, which is pretty damn hard to map and is 8,000 times faster than the conscious mind and is constantly evolving.
	So I don't know where the limits of my abilities are, and every time I do a show, I try and push them a little further or in some different direction.
	Which is why I think you keep coming back.
	It's why I keep coming back.
	If I was just doing the same thing over and over, it would be crushingly dull and I wouldn't be able to sustain any interest in it.
	But I'd try to push the boundaries and push how I communicate and what I can do every single time.
	And you're here to see it live.
	Unless you're not. In which case, welcome later.
	So... There are so many people out there who rely on the kindness of strangers.
	And we are not at all designed for that as a species.
	This is a new thing based on the state, based upon charities, based upon the excess resources of the post-agricultural industrial revolutions.
	Like, we're not designed at all, at all, counter to our entire evolution to rely on the kindness of strangers.
	Doesn't mean it's bad. There's lots of things that are counter to our evolution, right?
	It's counter to our evolution to take a crap in a ceramic bowl and flush it, but we'll do it, right?
	Because it's civilized. So counter to evolution doesn't mean good or bad.
	It just means that it's something we should be aware of.
	There's a gap analysis, right? So how did you survive in the past?
	How did you survive in the past?
	You had to provide value.
	We had to provide value.
	It wasn't just kindness. It wasn't altruism.
	It wasn't sacrifice. It wasn't mere charity.
	You had to provide value.
	So if you were a young man, you had to provide martial protection against invaders.
	You had to provide hunting. You had to provide some sort of excess resource production for the sustenance and maintenance of wives and children, the offspring, whether collectively or individually raised.
	you had to provide value.
	There's a movie by Jane Campion that had a bit of an influence on me when I was younger called The Piano about...
	A family that takes its rest or gets...
	I can't remember if they get lost or...
	But they end up in this jungle and the woman just wants to play piano and she ends up having an affair with this painted savage painted by a weirdly square-buttocked Harvey Keitel.
	And the man is the typical leftist caricature of the bourgeois...
	Unimaginative, uncreative, kind of bossy and mean.
	You know, this is typical bourgeois middle-class caricature.
	There's profound unoriginality in Marxist art.
	And I'm not saying Jane Campion is the Marxist, just very leftist, right?
	And then the noble savage, of course, the guy who's just really wonderful and sensitive and a great lover and considerate, thoughtful guy is like the guy with a nose ring through his face.
	Of course! This worship of the primitive is just to induce guilt in the productive, right?
	This worship of the primitive is there just to induce profitable guilt in the part of the productive.
	It's like all the people who were like, oh, well, the conquistadors came to the South Americans and they destroyed the Incan and the Mayan civilization and so on.
	It's like, well... You know, those civilizations regularly slaughtered tens of thousands of people for religious rituals.
	Those civilizations contained within them a god that worshipped the tears of children in order to worship that god.
	And so what you would do is you would get the children and you would lock them up and you would give them as much sweet stuff as possible and you would refuse to let them clean their teeth or give them water and their teeth would rot from the insides out and the children would be in agony and you'd collect their tears and That would be the civilization.
	Oh my gosh, it was so terrible that that's not allowed anymore.
	Can you believe that the rampant, vicious child abuse and occasional repetitive genocides of the indigenous populations of the North?
	Anyway, I've been through all of this in my last tour.
	So... In the movie, The Piano, the bourgeois husband, you know, because the wife doesn't really want to work, doesn't really want to do much, just wants to sit around daydreaming about the penis of her Aztec lover or whatever it is.
	And he's like, you know, we've all had to make sacrifices.
	We've all had to make sacrifices.
	Because she just, you know, she just wants her piano.
	Yeah. Like they're trying to survive in a desperate Swiss family Robinson wilderness.
	Just trying to find a way to survive in this desperate wilderness.
	And she's like, I want to play piano.
	Because the tinkling just makes me happy.
	And the painted savage with the thrusty buttocks.
	And he's trying to get her to see some sense and be productive and do some actual work and help the family survive.
	We're all making sacrifices.
	why can't you basically and that's always struck me that lie is sort of very powerful right Like, yeah, of course, all throughout history, everyone had to make sacrifices.
	And the fact that this dreamy dunce of a woman just wants to play piano and bang the locals rather than actually help the family survive by doing some actual labor.
	I had a different view of it when I was younger, and I haven't watched the movie in forever, so I just remember there's a bit in the middle where somebody burns down in animation, which was an odd thing to put in the middle, but there it is, right?
	The guy from Jurassic Park, I can never remember his name, who played the bourgeois husband.
	But everybody had to contribute something, and this movie basically is a productive guy who's trying to help the family survive, railing against a woman who's cuckolding him and wants to play piano rather than, I don't know, provide shelter and food for her children.
	1993, yeah, yeah, that's right.
	Long time ago, was that 28 years, 27, 29 years ago?
	That's something, something old.
	Holly Hunter played the woman.
	And the acting is very good, the movie making is very good, and even the script is very interesting, and maybe I should watch it again, but that's the sort of why I remember being both fascinated and appalled watching the movie at the time.
	Was it a book before? I don't know.
	I don't know. The original inhabitants of the Caribbean were cannibals.
	Oh, cannibalism was like de rigueur.
	It's the same thing with the original inhabitants of New Zealand.
	Cannibals and child torturers and so on, right?
	Excuse me. Everybody has to...
	In the past, you never relied on the kindness of strangers.
	If you didn't produce...
	You would be aggressed against until you produced, or if you didn't produce and even aggression wouldn't, you'd just be ostracized.
	People would just kick you out of the tribe.
	Useless eaters, right?
	So we're not evolved to rely on the kindness of strangers.
	At all.
	Sam Neill.
	That's the guy here, Sam Neill.
	I never remember his name for some reason.
	You ever get these things in your brain, it's just like this void, this black hole that can never be filled.
	Like people have a tough time remembering the word tinsel because it's not like any other word and it's season specific.
	So you had to produce stuff.
	There was no relying on the kindness of strangers.
	And also, there was no hiding your personality in the tribal environment, in the small-town environment, right?
	So I write about the politics and general social knowledge of a small town, really a village, in my novel Just Poor, because I spent a lot of time in small towns when I was working up north.
	I weren't born in a small town.
	And, no, you can't hide your personality.
	Like, Amber Heard, in a sense, or people like her, can jump from person to person.
	And because they're so pretty, you don't really know the personality history.
	Now that's becoming a little easier to find on social media.
	But for a long time, you could jump to some new place.
	And nobody would know you.
	And, you know, if you had a not-so-great time in junior high school or high school, everyone had the fantasy that you're going to work out all summer and lose weight and get muscles and get a great haircut and then just go to a new school and start over and, you know.
	But, of course, no matter where you go, you're still you.
	You're still yourself, right? Hey, Steph, glad to catch a live broadcast.
	Glad to have you here. Thank you so much for dropping by.
	Yeah, what's the husband supposed to do?
	Say, go ahead and play the piano and bang the guy with the nose bone?
	The Samuel character was brutally insensitive when his new wife arrived from a long journey and first met him.
	Sure, absolutely.
	And I get that.
	And... The idea that the woman behaves badly because the man is insensitive is a very old trope.
	It's a very old and cliched trope.
	Why did the woman have an affair?
	Because her husband wasn't paying romantic attention to her and she just got lonely, right?
	So you understand that her absolutely awful behavior, her absolutely awful behavior must be justified in order for you to have any kind of sympathy for her, right?
	I think Jane Campion is a feminist.
	I'm pretty sure I'm right now. And so she has an insensitive husband, although he's very hardworking, provides very well.
	She has an insensitive husband.
	Now, rather than finding a way to warm his heart, rather than finding a way to warm his heart, to open his heart, to find a way to make him more affectionate, to deal with his childhood trauma that left him to be cold-hearted, She takes this man who is insensitive, and then she refuses to work, and she bangs a low-rent local.
	But you see, he's insensitive, so it's okay.
	I mean, it's madness. Absolute madness, right?
	She chose to get married.
	This was not forced marriage, right?
	She chose to get married now.
	So, you say, ah, well, it was long distance.
	Well, she chose. She rolled the dice that way, too, right?
	But these wonderful women who only act badly because the men are bad is very much a cliche.
	You just... You can't...
	You can't find a situation where this is not almost always portrayed.
	Because the idea that women just do bad things...
	The idea that women just do bad things.
	So Blanche Dubois in A Streetcar Named Desire, why did she act so irresponsibly?
	She lost all of the family land.
	She lost the family house, Belle Reve, beautiful dream.
	Why does she want to statutorily rape children in the play again, this paper boy who comes by and she tries to seduce him?
	Well, why does she do that?
	Well, you see, she spent so much time around death, right?
	This is the desire cemetery thing, right?
	The opposite of the cemetery is desire.
	And so she lusts after her students and children because she spent a lot of time around dying people.
	Which would mean that all nurses are...
	prey on children?
	Come on, I mean, it's crazy.
	Men are just causelessly bad, but women always have to have an excuse, in art, right?
	Women always have to have an excuse as to why they're bad.
	It's kind of a new phenomenon, right?
	I mean, Lady Macbeth was just bad, right?
	Taming of the Shrew, this woman was just a witch with a capital B, right?
	And this deferral to women and this inability for people to look at the fact that women can be evil.
	Of course women can be evil. Evil is a human characteristic.
	The Christians got this, right? Because it's the soul, the temptation.
	Of course women can be evil.
	And in fact, women have greater capacities to be evil in some ways on a more daily basis because they're in control of children who are dependent and can't fight back.
	What do I think about arranged marriage?
	It's a violation of the non-aggression principle.
	Without a doubt. Because you're saying that you have to have sex with somebody I choose for you to have sex with.
	That's not right. That's third-party rape.
	So, relying on the kindness of strangers, right?
	This is the theme of sort of what we're talking about today, and this is going to help you understand the anger.
	So, in all plays and stories that I can think of where someone has really been dependent on the kindness of strangers, you see this intense rage at the bottom of that.
	This intense rage at the bottom of that.
	And again, you see this. Blanche Dubois, I've always relied on the kindness, always depended on the kindness of strangers, she says.
	Now, the scene before, when Stanley Kowalski has finally wised up To her manipulations, to her attempted destruction of his marriage, to her attempted seduction and destruction of his friend in the army.
	He says, look, we're army buddies.
	I can't let him get caught in this way.
	Like, that would just be totally wrong.
	We're buddies. So when he really gets the borderline sociopathic pathologies of Blanche Dubois, and he is removing his protection from her.
	What is she saying? Oh, I just want to find a cleft in the world that I can hide in and all that.
	So when her self-destructive, horrifying manipulations end up with him kicking her out, and she's going to have to go and try and find a way to survive, and as she says, I'm getting older.
	I can't pull the trick off anymore.
	Men don't want me in the same way because I'm a prune.
	My eggs are gone.
	My youth is gone. My beauty is going.
	I can't pull the trick off anymore.
	I can't. So now she has to go out and she has to produce for herself.
	Why? Because she has alienated.
	I mean, she half killed her first husband.
	She slept with everyone, got a terrible reputation.
	She got fired for, which was her income, for, you know, seducing students.
	And she's just now completely laid waste to the home of her sister.
	And she's just, you know, she's like a forest fire, just rages through people's life and destroys everything in her path.
	So then Stanley Kowalski says, no, I bought you a ticket.
	Hey, I even paid for the ticket.
	Back to Laurel. You go back there, you get your old life going, whatever you do, but you're not staying here, not with my kid around.
	Holy crap, no way. Absolutely not.
	Where I can't have a child growing up with somebody who has a habit of trying to seduce children.
	So you've got to take your hysterical, borderline, promiscuous, skinny ass back down to Laurel and get out of my house.
	Now, when the kindness of strangers, when she has destroyed the kindness of strangers, and he's advancing on her saying, look, this is all, you know, it's just a lie.
	Everything you do is a lie. Everything you are is a lie.
	He's telling her the truth about who she is.
	Brutally, without a doubt, but...
	But at least he's upfront and honest about it.
	He's not whispering about her behind her back.
	He's direct. What she does is she sits down with his wife and says, you know, he's just an ape.
	How the hell could you fall so far?
	You're married to an ape.
	He's a brute. King of the Stone Age.
	So she poison pills his wife when they're trying to get pregnant.
	And then she ends up really messing up a card party, and then he ends up hitting his wife.
	Totally unjustified, of course, right?
	Violation is a non-aggression principle, but we don't have any sense of violence before this crazy woman comes into his house.
	So he corners her, rips down her illusions, and she breaks a bottle and wants to kill him.
	Yeah, Vivian Lee played it very powerfully, for sure.
	But she also went crazy.
	She also went crazy, Vivian Leigh.
	She married to Laurence Olivier, did I get that right?
	Laurence Olivier, I always remember this, in his book on acting said, maybe you should try playing a character who's recently shaved off his mustache and keeps touching it because it's missing.
	That level of attention to detail of characterization is really, really cool.
	And what was it, bisexual?
	Laurence Olivier did a play where Hamlet had an over-attachment to his mother and was the Oedipal fundamentally.
	Didn't I have that right? She died at 53.
	Yeah, like Audrey Hepburn, she died in her early 60s, right?
	But that probably had a lot to do with her intense malnutrition during the Second World War.
	So... Why is there such violence at the core?
	And understand, I know I've not proven that there's violence at the core of everyone who's dependent upon the kindness of strangers, but I'll make a case for it.
	This is sort of an example, sort of a way in to the issue.
	So why would people be so violent?
	You know, let me know what you think.
	Why do you think people, if there is this pattern, right?
	The people dependent on the kindness of strangers tend to be violent.
	Why is it that people who are dependent on the kindness of strangers tend to be so violent down in their core?
	Uh.
	So, insecurity, fear, they can be cut off at any time.
	That's right. They don't want it to end.
	Tyranny of the week. Dependence creates panic.
	Anger because they're not independent.
	And that's why I had this theory or this guess that you, as listeners, would have had jobs earlier than the average.
	Earlier than the average.
	And yes. That's right.
	So when Blanche Dubois is faking being younger than she is and faking being chaste and faking being virginal and Stanley Kowalski is ripping down all of her Chinese lantern coverings with the bare light bulbs.
	And she says, I'll tell you what I want.
	Magic! Yes! Yes, magic!
	I try to give that to people.
	I misinterpret things to them.
	I don't tell the truth. I tell what ought to be truth.
	And if that is sinful, then let me be damned for it.
	Don't turn the light on! I don't tell the truth.
	I tell what ought to be true.
	I ought to be virginal.
	I ought to have been younger.
	I ought to be better than I am.
	Don't turn the light on. Don't turn the light on.
	Wild stuff.
	Wild stuff. Let me see if I can find this.
	Ah, yes. When she's seducing the paperboy, she says, young man, young, young, young man, has anyone ever told you that you look like a young prince out of the Arabian Nights?
	She says, I can't stand a naked lightbulb any more than I can a rude remark or a vulgar action.
	She's so chaste.
	Oh, yeah, this is...
	This is her talking to her sister about Stanley Kowalski, right?
	Undoing the marriage, trying to destroy the marriage.
	Because she's just so wonderful and pure.
	She says, may I speak plainly?
	If you'll forgive me, he's common.
	He's like an animal.
	He has an animal's habits.
	There's even something sub-human about him.
	Thousands of years have passed him right by, and there he is, Stanley Kowalski, the survivor of the Stone Age, bearing the raw meat home from the kill in the jungle, and you, you here, waiting for him.
	Maybe he'll strike you, or maybe grunt and kiss you, as if kisses have been discovered yet.
	His poker night, you call it?
	This party of apes?
	Yeah, good luck getting the protection of Stanley Gowalski after referring to him like this.
	So, if you're dependent on the kindness of strangers, you're in the state of unbelievable tension.
	Right?
	Why are you not dependent upon the kindness of friends?
	So, a woman who's running a man's household, raising his children, is dependent upon his kindness.
	But it's not kindness like charity, because she's providing the most essential value that makes his life worthwhile, which is, why am I going to work?
	Am I going to work to play Elden Ring and fall asleep?
	It's sort of pointless, right?
	Just come and go and there's nothing there.
	No, I'm going to work so that I can provide for my wife and my children.
	So I can provide and protect, which is what men do.
	At least what they used to be able to do when they were allowed to do so by the state.
	Or the absence of the state.
	So, she's not dependent upon the kindness of strangers.
	She's wound her heart in, provided meaning to the man, given him his offspring, the joy of his continuation of his line, and the fact that he gives someone to run his household so he can concentrate on his work.
	She's not relying on the kindness of strangers.
	She's relying on the reciprocal value returned by the man she provides meaning and purpose to.
	Right.
	Hey, Elton Ring was fun.
	Right.
	Didn't say it wasn't.
	Didn't say it wasn't.
	Just saying, it's not a real purpose.
	Not a real purpose.
	It's fine. Nothing wrong with it.
	But you can't live on dessert, right?
	So... The woman who is kind and helpful and helps the man stay strong and be productive and so on, she's not relying on the kindness of strangers and there's not rage in that.
	The rage comes from early infancy.
	The early infancy, you must be provided value without any reciprocal demand.
	When you're a baby, people provide value to you.
	People cuddle you and feed you and take care of you and breastfeed you and play with you.
	And you're not expected or anticipated.
	In fact, it would be insane to do so.
	You're not expected to provide any value in return.
	Particularly really early infancy, right?
	When they're just poop, scream, sleep monsters, right?
	Now, later, the value that you provide in return is giggling or laughing or some sort of positive feedback or reaching for you or enjoying your company, all that kind of stuff.
	But when you're a newborn, you are a black hole of resource consumption with no sensible or rational expectation of a return of value, right?
	You just, you're a sponge.
	You take, you take, and you take, and there's no giving.
	Now, so I have a general theory, which is that unmet needs in childhood that aren't acknowledged or healed turn into rampant pathologies in adulthood.
	That all mental dysfunction is the result of unacknowledged suffering, unprocessed suffering.
	So if, as a baby, you didn't get the resources that you need, that's incredibly painful and terrifying and angering.
	And angering. The withholding of just resources is always perceived as an act of aggression, right?
	If you lend someone, I remember when I was younger, I lent, gosh, I lent one guy two grand, another guy 800 bucks.
	My God, did it take forever to get it back.
	Forever. Forever. I knew a guy who borrowed so much money from people, if you wanted to call him, you had to call, let it ring three times, and then call back immediately, and that way he knew it wasn't somebody who wanted money from him.
	So if you've ever been in the situation where you've lent money to someone, they've promised to pay it back on a certain date, and then they just avoid you, it's incredibly frustrating and angry, right?
	Because they basically just stole from you.
	And we all understand sometimes you lend money to people, they can't pay it back or whatever, right?
	But... The fact that they just avoid you, it's horrible.
	It's horrible, right? I mean, I remember sending money to a listener once because he was in a real dire circumstance and then he ended up playing video games all night and lost his job because he just didn't show up because he was too tired or didn't slip through his alarm or didn't set his alarm because he was too tired.
	And it's like, okay, well, that was sort of pointless.
	Now, most of the listeners I send money to, particularly for therapy, do it and do the right thing and it's wonderful and it's great.
	I mean, that's a good way to spend some money.
	But... The...
	The issue of if you didn't get what you needed and justly were owed as a child, you have a lot of anger.
	Now, here's the problem.
	So let's say it's your mom, right?
	Let's just pick on the moms because, you know, they're supposed to be the primary caregivers, at least evolutionarily speaking.
	So you're given birth. Your mom puts you in daycare.
	Your mom goes off to work.
	Your mom is depressed or has postpartum depression, is emotionally unavailable, isn't there for you.
	You spend a lot of time in your crib.
	So you get angry at your mother, right?
	You get angry at your mother. Because she's not paying the debt she owes you, which is care and tenderness and playing and skin contact and breastfeeding and laughter and eye contact and all that good stuff that helps develop empathy and humanity in you as a child.
	So, you don't lend money.
	Yeah, I should have taken Polonius' advice in Hamlet, right?
	Neither a borrower nor an ender be, because you'll lose the money and the friendship most times as well.
	And the good thing about getting in your 50s is you don't lend money anymore, because if there's someone around who still is desperate to borrow money, they obviously are so bad at managing money if you've not got any savings by your 50s that there's no point giving them any money, they'll just flush it away.
	So, now, if you say, oh, my mother's having an operation.
	So it could be, it could be, of course, that something happened to your mother.
	She got really sick during the childbirth and she needs a lot of time to recuperate and, you know, she's not available.
	Okay, but then, of course, if you have a loving family, the grandmother step in, the aunt step in, the sister-in-laws, the sisters, somebody steps in to really mother that baby, right?
	So it doesn't have to be your mom directly should something happen.
	So you're really angry.
	At your mother for what you perceive as withholding the just debt of affection that she owes you.
	Because to have a baby and then not love that baby and not be present to have affection with that baby to skin contact, you're cursing that baby.
	You're giving that baby an incredibly difficult start to his or her life, right?
	And, of course, this is simply neglect, right?
	There could also be outright abuse.
	There could be, you know, the parents screaming at each other in the next door, which the baby finds terrifying because it sounds like acts of war, right?
	It could be a lack of sexual boundaries between parents and child so that the parents are having sex with the baby in the room, which sounds like a pain to the child, right?
	Or the baby, right?
	So you're angry at your mom, right?
	For not giving you what she owes you by giving birth to you.
	That's a debt, an obligation that you create when you have a child.
	To care for that child. The debt, the obligation.
	So your mom's not doing that and you're mad at her.
	But here's the problem. You can't express being mad at your mom.
	Why? Because she's already signaled that she doesn't really care that much about you.
	And if you express being angry at the person who's the source of your survival and they have clearly expressed they don't really care that much about you, then you're probably going to die, right?
	That's an act of suicide.
	To get angry at, to reject, to...
	Be pissed in the vicinity of to stick your tongue out at, to spit at, to whatever, right?
	To pee on. Whatever you do as a toddler or as a baby to express your anger.
	Well, if a mom has already said, I don't really care that much about you and your mom is your only chance that you have to survive, if you express your anger towards your mother, you're going to die.
	Most likely, evolutionarily speaking, right?
	So what do you have to do?
	You have to try and be as pleasant as possible, as positive as possible, and try and woo your mother, right?
	You ever have this as a baby, as a toddler?
	That you have to work like a crazy son of a bitch just to get positive interactions with your mother?
	You have to pedal like a Tour de France cyclist on his last legs?
	And even that Lance Armstrong boost?
	That you have to just...
	I mean, I did a whole video on the truth about Robin Williams, but Robin Williams was talking about how he had to perform like an insane cocaine monkey in order to try and pull his mother out of...
	Her depression and give her a smile.
	You have to do this with your caregivers.
	You just have to work insanely hard just to try and get them to hold it together for five more minutes.
	It's a crazy job to have.
	It's an insane job to have.
	My mother had to hire me a nanny because mother didn't.
	Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
	And maybe, just maybe, you had a really affectionate nanny.
	I know I did. And I think that helped me a lot relative to other people in my family.
	But my mother wasn't interested except when she was in the mood to be entertained by her children.
	That is a horrible thing to put on a child.
	It's sadly common. It's tragically common.
	My sister got attention by lying that I hit her and then would sneer in the background while I got beat.
	So the sister has intense anger towards the mother or the father and thus is luring them into evil actions to destroy their soul.
	So... A friend of mine, in the family, his brother reminded the mother of her ex-husband.
	And therefore she took out all her anger on her ex-husband against the brother who reminded her.
	Anyway, it's a giant mess.
	And again, some really good mothers out there.
	We're just talking about these particular things, right?
	So... Relying on the kindness of strangers, the root of it is if you feel that your mother is a stranger to you or you're a stranger to your mother, there's not a bond, right?
	There's not that real pair bonding that should happen, of course, chemically reinforced between parent and toddler.
	There's just not that bond.
	And you're relying on the kindness of strangers means you have to dance monkey dance in order to get positive feedback from your mother because you simply existing doesn't give your mother joy.
	You have to do something.
	You have to do something to get her attention, to get her love, to get her positive feedback, to get her interest, to get her love.
	You have to perform. You have to be something other than who you are.
	Right? I mean, one thing I've always made clear to my daughter is I love her for who she is.
	She doesn't have to change. She doesn't have to...
	I mean, occasionally I'll make a joke like what entertainments do you have lined up for your needy ADHD father for today?
	But it's just a joke, right? She knows she doesn't have to entertain me and I would hate it if she did think that.
	So... When you are neglected, abandoned by your mother, you got a lot of anger and then you have to create the false self.
	The false self is what you create to please people when being yourself doesn't please them.
	Being yourself doesn't please them.
	Just being who you are doesn't give your mother any joy or happiness.
	In fact, if your mother is a hollowed out version of a genuine personality, if she herself only has a false self, the genuineness of the infant is a significant threat to her non-beingness, right?
	The authenticity and honesty and directness of the infant who can't Infants are honest, right?
	I mean, there's a phase where if the baby doesn't like you, the baby will cry when handed to you.
	If the baby is frightened of you, the baby will flinch when you come close, right?
	Whereas as adults, if you're manipulative, you surround yourself with people who are able to be manipulated.
	Manipulated or frightened of you and therefore what happens is they just cover up their own instincts.
	They pretend that you are anything other than who you actually are.
	Everything other than who you actually are.
	It's just fake meeting fake lies meeting lies.
	Lies meeting lies. That's horrible.
	So you have to become something other than who you are naturally in order to gain resources from people who are not, don't respond positively to your authentic self, your natural self, your honest, spontaneous self, yourself in a state of repose, yourself in a state of relaxation, yourself in a state of non-performance.
	I mean, there are times when I perform on the show and then there are times where I just try to have a really honest, direct conversation.
	I think it's fine to perform and it's fine to be mildly exaggerated, but you also have to know how to play the small clubs, the intimate jazz clubs, right?
	So you have a sense that who you are will be rejected and will starve and will die, and therefore you have to be something other than who you are.
	You have to conform to the holiness of other people.
	You have to perform for other people in order to have any value.
	You don't have value just being yourself.
	You have value being of service to the distraction and vanity of others.
	And of course, kids have this too, the parents on their phone, on their phone, on their phone, on their phone, on their phone, on their phone, on their phone, on their phone.
	And I used to take my daughter when she was younger to these play centers and I'd be the, you know, I would end up like with kids glomming all over the place because I'd be the only parent in there playing around with the kids, you know, tagging and hide and go seek and all that and old moms, usually moms.
	I'm sitting during the day, right?
	On the phone, on the phone, on the phone, on the phone.
	Are you loved for who you are?
	On the phone, on the phone, on the phone.
	Why do deadbeat renters exist?
	I have neighbors who choose to give up on paying rent and go with their lives not caring.
	Well, again, I'm talking about all of this, right?
	The sense of entitlement comes from people who didn't get what they were owed when they were toddlers, when they were babies.
	Sometimes when the parental love is so limited the kids brutalize each other in competition for it.
	Often the parent gets off on this.
	So the parent who is – the people who don't pay what they owe get aggressive because they're in a situation of vulnerability and the best defense is a good offense.
	So if a parent can't provide the love that the children – that the parent owes to the children, like absolutely, it's the most fundamental debt.
	You create a life, you've got to love that life.
	That's the deal. That's the deal.
	You create the life, you must love the life.
	life.
	Now, if you create the life and then for whatever reason, because you didn't prepare for the need to love the child, you're unable to love the child, you're unable to love the baby, then you create a situation of intense self-hatred and intense hostility because you actually hate your own mother who failed to prepare you to love your own baby by not loving you then you create a situation of intense self-hatred and intense hostility because you actually hate your own mother who failed to prepare
	And maybe you had the baby hoping that the baby was going to fill up the hole of your mother's indifference towards you when you were a baby, and it turns out that's the exact opposite of what's happened rather than being healed from your mother's coldness.
	When you were a baby, you end up becoming your mother by being cold to your own baby and then you just short circuit and you're full of incredible anger and frustration.
	And then what happens You say, oh my god, I was fine until this baby came along.
	This goddamn kid.
	This goddamn kid is making me feel like shit.
	Now, the child is a safe receptacle for your anger in the way that your mother is not.
	You get angry at your mother and then she evokes all of the old levers of mechanism of abandonment and aggression or maybe abuse, straight-up abuse, and you're toast.
	You can't fight her, but you can definitely take out your aggression on your child.
	And a lot of parents are looking for an excuse to take out their aggression on their children.
	And what they do is they create standards of misbehavior.
	You did something wrong.
	You're bad. You're selfish.
	You're mean. You're thoughtless.
	Inconsiderate. You're not playing well with your sister.
	You peed yourself again.
	I'm angry. You're too old for this.
	So they create standards so that they can justify their own release of rage.
	And the rage is actually against their own parents, but the children are a safe target.
	And now they can't just sit there and say, well, I really like yelling at my children.
	It really makes me feel better. It really relieves the tension and frustration and anger that I've carried my whole life.
	They don't want to say that because that's just looking in the mirror and seeing a giant pocket asshole looking back at you, right?
	So what they do is they have to invent these standards.
	This is where morality generally comes from.
	Morality comes from you invent these standards so you feel like a good guy by being a bad guy.
	You invent these standards so that you can feel like a moral hero for being an asshole.
	And this happens all over the place, right?
	People who can't handle arguments feel like they're protecting vulnerable people by getting mean people offline, and no, you're just a censor, right?
	You're a bad guy, but nobody wants to look in the mirror and say, I'm a bad guy, so they invent these standards of behavior.
	So that they can take out their inchoate, unconscious rage on helpless, independent children and not feel like just a terrible person.
	Oh, no, I'm disciplined.
	It's just discipline, man. I'm just enforcing standards.
	I'm helping those kids. These kids without discipline grow up to be terrible people, so I'm not an asshole who's bullying children.
	I'm upholding standards, you see.
	I'm moral, right?
	And then you're doomed, right?
	Whatever you define as the moral, you will never escape.
	Once you define something as moral, you'll never escape it.
	Never, never, never, never. So, let me just double check here.
	Conversation. Yeah, so the deadbeat renters, they just feel that they're owed from when they were kids, right?
	They just feel that they're owed.
	What percentage of children are abused in some way?
	Is there any way to measure that accurately?
	Well, one in three girls and one in five boys is sexually abused as children.
	You can start with that. This sounds like my life, Steph, with husband, then boyfriends, with parents, with friends.
	Yeah, I mean, one of the big revolutions I went through like two decades ago or so was, you know, I finally got love for who I am.
	And I'm like, okay, well, what if I don't try to please other people?
	What if I am just myself who still wants to be around?
	I remember one time my mom cried in front of my face saying, no one wants to spend time with me after I didn't want to do something with her.
	Yeah.
	Right. And that's the pity, right?
	That's the pity thing. No one wants to spend time with me, so spend time with me out of pity.
	But that's how desperate people are.
	And she's right. So, you know, the correct answer I think to that is, okay, well you should try and figure out who you're being that nobody wants to spend time with you.
	A friend of mine who's a mother of a 14-year-old boy is okay with him having casual sex in their house.
	Oh God, I'm sorry about that.
	That's horrible. That's how my grandmother was towards my mother.
	Oh damn! Yes.
	I definitely will be re-listening to this.
	My mother said she yelled and did all that to us to avoid beating us as her mother did to her.
	Like we were lucky to be scolded.
	Yeah. Why would my grandparents tell my father they never wanted him at a young age?
	Oh yeah, like I just posted a premium show at freedomain.locals.com.
	You should check it out. A couple of bucks a month to get some great material up there.
	About a guy whose mother said when he was 8 or 9, I never wanted you.
	So the reason that parents say that is to make sure that the child fully understands that there's no bond and that child better fucking please the parents or he's toast.
	At the moment you just...
	The moment you say there's no bond to people dependent on you, you're demanding that they false self themselves into perfect parent pleasing compliance and abandon any authenticity they might possibly have.
	I would love for someone to love me for being myself.
	But then you have a lot of bad habits to undo with pleasing people.
	And the bad habits I have sympathy for, because I think I'm talking about the genesis of these things.
	But of course you want someone to love you for being yourself.
	Of course you don't want to be someone else.
	I mean, you can't be anybody else.
	Everyone else is taken, right? You can't be it.
	You can only not be yourself.
	You can't be someone else. You can't not be yourself.
	And most people, they go from birth to graves.
	Imitating other people to beg for a single shred of positive feedback.
	My mom would tell me she would rather be at work than spend time with me.
	Right. So what she's saying is, you must be a different person in order to have me to want to spend time with you.
	You must please me.
	You must provide me entertainment or some sort of positive feedback or obey everything because I don't enjoy spending time with you.
	Right.
	So she created you, and then she refuses to pay the most fundamental and required debt of all of humanity, which is to enjoy the company of your children.
	Dale Carnegie's book mentions that depriving your family of food is considered abuse, but people will let them go months without praise.
	Yeah, for sure. .
	So that explains why my dad said sometimes he wished he didn't have children and why I felt like I was never good enough.
	Yes. Your father says he wished he didn't have children because the children fundamentally are exposing his own deficiencies, his own inability to love.
	So listen, look, I'm a dad, right?
	I'm sure lots of you out here are parents.
	Let's be straight up and honest, right?
	Straight up and honest. You have a vision, right?
	Of what you're going to be like as a father and as a mother before you have children.
	You have a vision.
	Sometimes it's dotted down to the last pointillism detail.
	You have a vision. And the vision is of you cuddling your child and looking into that child, tickling your child and laughing with your child and playing games with your child and your children when you come home running to your arms and jumping up and so happy that you are.
	This is the vision that you have.
	And some of us say, if that's the vision I have, I look back on my own childhood and it sure as shit wasn't anything like that, so I've got to work like hell to achieve that vision.
	You know, like if you have a vision of yourself as rock-abbed and viper-shoulders and all that, and you're just muscular and all that, and yet you were fed, you know, crap and couches as a child, then you say, okay, well, I've got a lot of blubber because my parents fed me badly, so I'm really going to have to work like crazy to achieve that, right?
	Yeah. So you do a gap analysis, right?
	If I want to provide something that was never provided to me, I'm going to have to work to make sure I have the resources to do that.
	So everyone has this vision. Some people have this vision of what it is going to be to be a parent.
	To have children who love you and run to you and want to play with you and cry when you leave and laugh when you come back and cuddle with you in the morning.
	That's your vision you have.
	Now, some people have that vision and say, how am I going to achieve that vision?
	Well, I wasn't provided these things.
	I've got to go to therapy. I've got to do the work.
	I've got to get self-knowledge to clear the rubble between me and that vision.
	Some people have that vision. Now, other people have that.
	Everybody has this vision. Everybody has this vision, guaranteed.
	That's why you become a parent, because you think it's going to be wonderful, or you tell yourself that, right?
	So some people have that vision and say, I wasn't given that as a child.
	I'm really going to have to work hard to make sure I can provide that to my own children.
	Other people have a vision, that same vision.
	Do you know why they have that vision?
	So they can blame their children when it fails to materialize.
	Some ideals are what we work to pursue.
	Other ideals are what we weaponize against those who fail to provide that vision to us.
	Some people have morals so that they can be good.
	Some people have morals to justify their immorality and hide their own immorality from themselves.
	It's called projection, right? If you're a terrible parent, what do you say?
	My kids are bad. I should laugh.
	It's so insane. It's like carving a statue and then saying my statue is ugly.
	It's nothing to do with me, man.
	Just that statue is so ugly.
	I can't believe it. It's insane.
	I must now punish that statue for being ugly.
	You created the damn thing, right?
	This will change in time and due to my own effort, but sometimes I don't know who I am.
	I feel like a ghost. I really sympathize with that, my friend.
	I really do. And I understand exactly what you're talking about.
	I really do. There's a very common human condition, particularly in the modern world, where we don't even have myths to unite us to people.
	But it's not that you are a ghost.
	I know you feel that way. You're not a ghost.
	The more accurate thing would be to say, I was punished for being myself because I was raised by ghosts.
	I was punished for being myself, for telling the truth, for being honest, because I was raised by pathological liars who themselves committed seppuku and killed themselves in order to appease the ghosts who raised them.
	So I get that you feel like a ghost.
	That is simply the demand and requirement of people who died before you were born and thus raised you in a graveyard and punished you for having a pulse.
	Steph, you accomplished so much coming from so little.
	Well, thank you. I appreciate that. And the praise is philosophy.
	The praise is to philosophy. My father wrote a poem when I was born.
	Then he proceeded to never have a conversation with me.
	Plenty of lectures, not one conversation.
	Right. So if you have a conversation with your child, then you humanize the child.
	The child is then a real human person in your own mind, and therefore you can't brutalize.
	You can't brutalize what you empathize with.
	Of course, that would be like stabbing yourself when you're not a masochist, right?
	Wouldn't do it. So, yeah, I'm sorry about that.
	My dissociation is a lot like being a ghost.
	So again, I get the analogy, and I think it's very powerful, but I would strongly urge you to resist that analogy, because if you say, like, I'm a ghost, I'm like a ghost, and so on, then you're saying you're dead already, and you're a haunted house in a flesh prison of another couple decades.
	No. You are punished for being alive, so you mimic the dead, right?
	You know that there's these zombie movies where if you cover yourself, what was it in The Walking Dead, you cover yourself with zombie blood and then you can walk among the zombies and then you do that once for dramatic effect and then you never seem to think about it again for the rest of the series.
	Right? So, if you say, I have to cover myself in zombie blood in order to walk among the zombies, you don't say, I'm a zombie.
	You say, I have to pretend to be a zombie in order to survive the zombies.
	So you had to pretend to not exist in order to survive those who don't exist.
	So, it's a survival mechanism.
	You pretend to be the dead so you can survive the prison of the graveyard.
	I don't feel like a ghost, someone says, but I feel like I'm a genuine person, but with many monsters and demons within me, and sometimes they take over.
	So if you refer to your inner alter egos as monsters and demons, you're going to keep them at arm's length, which means if they want to get their say, they have to take you over.
	I call it the Miko system, that we are all an aggregation of all the personalities we've met, particularly those aggressive ones that violently inflicted themselves upon us.
	Everyone gets a seat at the table.
	Have conversations with those aspects of yourself you consider monsters and demons.
	Invite them to sit at the table.
	Invite them, because you can't get rid of them.
	You are not heaven and hell.
	You are... An ecosystem of personalities and perspectives, and everybody needs to...
	Like, this is the inner democracy, right?
	The people who want to tyrannize others tyrannize themselves first, right?
	They say that there are unacceptable parts of themselves that would be purely evil to express, and therefore they banish essential aspects of themselves to the darkness, and then they end up, when other people express opinions, the fact that they've already censored themselves, and in a sense...
	Given life sentences to the, quote, bad opinions within themselves mean their instinctive response to other people speaking freely is to destroy that speech because they've destroyed their own free speech within themselves.
	I'm a teacher and I know who isn't loved because they seek negative attention.
	When I tell parents, they act like victims.
	Yes, very tragic as well.
	One of the biggest goals I would have if I ever became a parent would be someone who they can talk to and not be afraid of.
	I think that's great. I would invite you to make that goal that your children will seek you out for conversation.
	Your children will seek you out for conversation.
	I would tell you this straight up.
	Like my daughter's like, hey, let's go for lunch.
	Hey, let's go for brunch. Hey, let's go for a walk.
	You know, hey, let's sit with the ducks and chat, right?
	Because she wants to have a conversation with me.
	and I love conversations with her too my father spoiled me probably for this reason being a ghost Thank you.
	So if you are provided material rewards instead of human affection, they call them possessions because you're possessed by a devil, then you are bribed for self-slaughter, right?
	I bought you a bike. What do you want from me?
	Well, your love, your attention, your positive feedback, your interaction, your wisdom.
	But I bought you a bike.
	Stop bugging me. It's like you're bribed then for a self-slaughter.
	You're bribed for imitating a ghost, right?
	You're driven out. Your soul is attempted to be driven out from your body with the exorcism called money.
	And you give money to bribe people to stay away from you if you're a parent, right?
	Especially if you buy stuff that, like, hey, I bought you an Xbox.
	Why did I buy you an Xbox? Now, if you buy your kid an Xbox or whatever, right, and you play with them and, you know, all that, great, you know, fantastic, right?
	My daughter and I just started playing a game again which we played some years ago called Trials.
	It's like a motorbike game. It's a fun game.
	It's a fun game, especially when the people crash.
	I mean, it's funny. So we play together.
	But if you're a parent and you buy some kid a gaming machine or something, right, and the kid is just off doing their thing, you're just bribing them to stay away.
	Why? Because your kid being in front of you and wanting a conversation with you brings back all of the neglect and horrors of your own child and so you push them away.
	You exercise them from your present because they're flesh and you're not.
	I don't think I've ever bonded with anyone in my whole life.
	So that's a gap analysis saying, like, I have a challenge in bonding with people and therefore you can work to fix that.
	You can work to repair that.
	I don't think I ever met anyone that had the perfect childhood.
	Well, that doesn't exist in the present world because the better your childhood, the more challenges you're going to have trying to integrate with an increasingly mad society, right?
	So... Your childhood wasn't that bad.
	Oh yes, so this is another thing that people do is they say that if you have complaints about your childhood you're just a whiner who doesn't get over things, right?
	But of course the reality is you had a bad childhood if you did because your parents didn't get over their own bad childhood and thus reinflected it on you.
	My dad never wanted to play video games with me much.
	I think that's a shame. I think that's a shame.
	It can be a lot of fun with those things, right?
	Just make it social. Stefan, is it wrong to be turned off to the idea of dating?
	it's so childish to flirt and waste time when I just want to get married and have kids but if you want a job there's an interview right And you have to put your best foot forward in the interview.
	You have to groom yourself, you know, keep your teeth clean and get a nice haircut and wear decent clothes and exercise and be appealing.
	Just be appealing. And you have to woo to get, right?
	How come some people throw birthday parties for a kid and then proceed to not make it about them?
	Well, because they want to be perceived as good parents so that they can gather propaganda and get allies against...
	Like, if you're a bad parent and then you throw these big, lavish birthday parties and invite clowns and bouncy castles and so on, but the kid doesn't really want it or isn't really happy, you ignore the kid.
	What you're doing is you're gathering propaganda so that when the child complains about the childhood, they won't have anyone who'll listen to them.
	Because everyone will remember these wonderful birthday parties and say, well, you're going to be crazy to think you didn't have a good childhood.
	that you had birthday parties I totally envied.
	So, the rage, right?
	Let's finish up on this part, right?
	So if you didn't get what you were owed as a baby, as a toddler, then you grew up with a huge amount of anger.
	But you can't express that anger against this proper object, and thus you're easily weaponized by propagandists against others.
	So you have this question of why is it that the people who claim to love diversity are so intolerant of different opinions, right?
	They claim to love diversity. They say, well, everyone's got to bring something different to the table.
	You need everyone with different opinions around the table so you get to the right decision, and someone comes with an opinion they don't like, and they just really feel the urge to destroy that person economically or socially or whatever, right?
	There's a big paradox, right?
	Why are the people who claim to want tolerance and diversity get, like, rageful when something comes along that they don't like?
	Like all the people at, you know, social media companies, Netflix and so on, they all claim to love diversity, and yet, I think it's at Netflix, like 98 point something percent of the employees donated to Democrats.
	Like, they just don't have any non...
	Hard leftists at the company.
	They just don't exist. Like, well, where's the diversity?
	I mean, you've got half them.
	So if you don't get what you are owed as a baby, as a toddler, then you grow up with a fearful bond.
	A fearful bond is a terrible thing.
	This is where unstable stuff comes from in a lot of relationships, right?
	The bunny boilers and so on, right?
	So you have a fearful bond.
	So you have a bond that's based upon compliance, right?
	Now, a bond that's based upon compliance is a fearful bond.
	It's not a real bond. Because a real bond is unconditional.
	I love you for who you are, and you don't have to change to get my love.
	That's what parents owe their children, right?
	It's what they owe their children. Absolutely.
	It's the most significant debt and the most underpaid debt in the world.
	But if you say to your child, you have to please me and be someone other than who you are in order for me to like you, you're saying to your child, I had you in order to destroy you.
	I had you in order to have you not exist.
	I created you in order for you to undo yourself to please me.
	It creates a terrifying, horrifying paradox.
	And then you are dependent on the kindness of strangers, the strangers being your own parents, your caregivers.
	Dependent upon the kindness of strangers, you have to Perform tasks for them.
	You have to... And you see this is...
	What does she do? She destroys bonds everywhere she goes.
	She tries to destroy the bond between her sister and the sister's husband.
	She tries to destroy the bond between Stanley Kowalski and his friend Mitch, who Blanche is trying to seduce.
	She's trying to destroy the bond between the paperboy and his caregivers by seducing him, which will create a great secret, which will destroy whatever bond he might have with those around him.
	Just a bond toxicity, bond attack.
	This is why the leftists, the hard leftists, have such an issue with the families.
	The family is a bond. What was she doing when she was sleeping with the students?
	She was destroying the bond between the students and their parents by creating a secret world that they couldn't share about that was traumatizing to them.
	Even her first husband, who was gay, she destroyed the bond between him and other men, him and his homosexuality, by referring to him as a degenerate, and he shot himself.
	Just a bond shredder, bond shredder, bond shredder, all they do.
	Anytime there's an attachment, bond shredder.
	Right. This woman who was saying that when she was half, had her head shaft shaven, she was a radical leftist.
	Everybody claimed to love her, right?
	Because she wasn't bonded with anyone.
	So you get this cult love bond that displaces any chance for a real bond.
	But then when she got married, happily married, becomes a mother.
	Has a bond with her husband, has a bond with her children.
	Everybody hates her because they have failed at destroying her capacity for bonds because their own bonds were broken as children and they have to reproduce that or they have to face the horror of what was done to them, which means facing the coldness of the person they've actually had to attach to for the cause of survival.
	Stockholm Syndrome, right? A long time ago, my mother told me she wished she stayed a spinster.
	I told her she should have had an abortion so she could keep her shit to herself.
	Yeah, we all remember that.
	I clearly remember as a child.
	Clearly remember as a child.
	I was maybe four or five.
	My mom in the middle of the night screaming, I effing hate these kids.
	Clearly remember that. Why is she screaming at the top of her lungs in the next room?
	So the kids can hear. So that they don't put any demands on her.
	So that she doesn't have to face what happened to her as a child.
	Children who have loving, thoughtful parents end up being soft and vulnerable?
	No, they end up being repelled by cruelty, which means that's their protection, right?
	If you've got a cancer growing in you, you want your immune system to take it out, right?
	Well, this is the thing, too.
	The people who are overtly sexualized in their presentation, overtly sexual in their presentation, They are saying that people will only love my body.
	They won't like me.
	That's clear lack of bonding as babies.
	All right, so...
	Tattoos are markers of child abuse?
	I think so, yes, and generally they're markers of lower IQ. I hate flirting for a different reason.
	I feel like no woman wants me and therefore all flirting from me, I feel like it's insulting.
	So if you feel like no woman wants you, that's because your mother didn't love you.
	And so you're saying, well, women as a whole don't want me, so I'm not going to blame my mom in particular.
	I'm not going to hold my mother responsible or accountable for not loving me as a baby and as a toddler and as a child.
	so I'm just going to say well I guess I'm just unattractive or unappealing to women as a whole so you don't end up having to blame your mom I hate overtly positive vibe women They shun you for being real or displaying hardships.
	Yes. So that is a form of mating display called I'll never be a downer.
	And there's a flip side to that, right?
	Which is when you get on the other side of that, there's usually a real anxiety and depression.
	Reaction formation is like when you present the opposite of what you actually are, right?
	I remember my mom's favorite angry phrase was this effing kid.
	Yeah. Coarseness around children as well is a marker of significant danger in pathology, especially swearing and so on around or with kids around.
	It's saying, I don't recognize childhood as a separate state and therefore I'm not going to give any obligations to a child that I wouldn't give to an adult because I don't recognize you as my child as having a separate state from adulthood.
	Why would being repulsed at cruelty be protective?
	Bullies don't have to seduce you first.
	Well, if you're repulsed by cruelty, that's protective, right?
	I mean, have you ever done this where you bite into a piece of bread and it's got mold in it and you're repulsed by it and you spit it out?
	This protects your ass from salmonella or some sort of disease in your gut, right?
	Revulsion or repulsion, right?
	If you smell something, like you smell milk and it smells sour and off, you feel repulsed by it, so you won't drink it.
	Being repulsed by cruelty and coldness means that you won't have it in your life.
	It's a good thing, right? Got to admit, I have a lot of anger in me that I'm still struggling with.
	And there was a lot of emotional neglect in my family of origin.
	So why are you struggling with your anger?
	Now obviously you don't want to act your anger out against the innocent, right?
	And you don't want to act your anger out as a whole as an adult.
	But your anger is there to help you and protect you.
	Your anger is the immune system of your soul.
	You don't want to artificially depress your immune system.
	I mean, that's like AIDS, right?
	And so if you're saying that your anger is unjust and unfair, I'm not particularly angry in my life these days because my anger has served its purpose, which is to keep good people in my life and get the bad people out of my life.
	I mean, it's done. It served its purpose.
	You don't keep building the wall.
	Once the wall keeps the good people in and the bad people out, you stop building the wall.
	So, if you feel angry still, it's because you've not allowed your anger to protect you enough.
	And again, I'm not talking about any kind of violence or abuse or anything like that.
	I just mean having boundaries and not letting bad people into your life.
	If there are bad people in your life, like, you know, the way it works is that you have in your gut, you have good bacteria and then you may have bad bacteria if you have some sort of stomach ailment or stomach flu or something like that.
	And you want your immune system to...
	Deal with the bad bacteria without killing all the good bacteria.
	In fact, if you take antibiotics that you can end up messing up your digestion because it gets rid of too many of the good bacteria.
	So the anger is there to have you be safe from destructive people in your life.
	And if the destructive people are still in your life, guess what?
	You won't be able to get rid of your anger because you're not listening to it to keep you safe.
	My brother and I exploited our attractiveness.
	He was and remains loose.
	I was not because I'm female.
	Right. So when you exploit your attractiveness, there's nothing wrong with being attractive, nothing wrong with looking good and all of that.
	You don't want to go full Fernando on it.
	I look good and I feel good, right?
	I look good. I feel good because I look good, right?
	So exploiting your attractiveness though is saying that the primary value that you have is unearned.
	The primary value that you have is unearned in that you don't earn your looks as a whole.
	Your face, structure and all of that and at least the figure that you have as a whole.
	You don't really earn it.
	Or if you say, well, I earn it because I work out.
	But you do that in part because you get so much more value.
	Somebody who's handsome who then works out as well It gets ten times the benefit of somebody who's ugly and works out, right?
	And I remember there was a woman I went to school with once, a gorgeous figure, but, I mean, just a really tragic face, like a really tragic face.
	And she worked on her figure, but, you know, she still couldn't get dates because, you know, and she worked very hard, and it's really great sympathy, great sympathy, right?
	So, if you're focusing on your attractiveness, there are two things you don't earn.
	Number one, how attractive you are.
	Number two, the hormones that drive men or women to be attracted to you because you have markers of good fertility and good genes, right?
	Even features and all of that.
	So, you don't earn that.
	And you're saying that the only way I can be loved is by exploiting things I did not earn.
	It's like saying the only way that I can get any wealth is to steal it, right?
	It's a profound act of self-denigration.
	Attractiveness can be a real curse when you have no proper guidance.
	Yeah, imagine the hell of Amber Heard's childhood, and then she ends up with this great hair, beautiful face, gorgeous figure, and that amount of power combined with that amount of trauma ends up with you shitting the bed, right?
	God, I saw this cruel meme.
	What was it? It was Elon Musk and Amber Heard.
	No, sorry, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard together, and it was Willy Wonka on the picture of On the picture of Johnny Depp, Willy Wonka, and then on the picture of Amber Heard, of course, Chocolate Factory.
	I hate to say I laughed.
	I'm 45 and alone.
	All I ever wanted was a wife and children.
	I'm sorry to hear that. Not too late.
	It's not too late. Can we all agree how absolutely epic Stefan is?
	I feel like I'm making a standing ovation.
	Well, I appreciate that. That's very kind.
	And this is why I'm saying I'm constantly trying to push how I communicate, what I communicate, how deep I can go, how much I can get out, how much I can help.
	Pushing, pushing, pushing!
	Giving birth to triplets sometimes is easier than doing these shows.
	Dancing that line. Sometimes I wish I could get angry with what I went through.
	I understand it too much to get angry anymore.
	Well... Okay, if you understand it, that's fine.
	But if you wish you could get angry, it means there may still be unacknowledged anger.
	Anger is massively inconvenient to those who wish to exploit us, in the same way that having an immune system is massively inconvenient to a virus that wants to infect us.
	So anger is inconvenient to those who wish to exploit us.
	Anger is the part of us that says, my interests are being harmed, I need to fight back.
	And we're beyond reason, right?
	Since childhood, my instinct was to hide any problems from my mother.
	I felt that her knowing would complicate anything.
	So women have, and generally it's women, right?
	They have a defense mechanism called I'm overwhelmed, right?
	I'm overwhelmed. Now, what is that defense mechanism?
	That defense mechanism is, I don't want to hear your problems.
	What's that old Marillion song?
	He knows, you know, don't give me your problems.
	Yeah, I don't want to hear about your problems.
	Your problems are inconvenient to me, so I'm just going to pretend to be overwhelmed all the time, so you shut the hell up.
	It's just a form of censorship. I'm also angry because I'm not living my life.
	Yeah, that's a big tough one. You know, it's really tough to be authentic in the world these days, right?
	A lot of punishment for authenticity.
	Because if you can reject yourself, you're so much easier to control.
	If you accept yourself, you're very hard to control.
	I work and go home.
	Sometimes I go help friends but not much else.
	How would you go about meeting people today?
	The apps are so hollow. So, find some hobby that you're interested in and join some social group which meets up about that.
	At least then you'll meet like-minded people.
	Like, I never imagined that I would get married to somebody who wasn't athletic, and so, of course, I met my wife playing volleyball.
	Stefan should be speaking in universities.
	God, can you imagine? I used to many years ago, but then the universities, they done changed a smidge here and there, so...
	It's not that my mother would refuse me help.
	It's like she would include other people.
	Make a fuss. Force some solution on me.
	Hmm. I'm not sure I quite understand.
	Love! Steph's info helps me so much.
	Thank you, Steph. Well, thank you. I appreciate that.
	It's very kind. I'm very, very glad to help.
	If I have this sort of speaking in tongues stuffer philosophy, I'm very glad that there's a venue with which to share it.
	That means the world to me, and it means the world to the world, hopefully, over time as well.
	Alright. So, yeah, that's the major stuff I wanted to get across around the anger.
	The anger is, I'm angry at my mother for not giving me what I was owed as a baby.
	And that means that all I can do is manipulate strangers into giving me resources.
	And if you are not, like, you don't know what your political views are, genuinely.
	You don't know what your political views are if you don't exercise and you don't have an income.
	If you don't exercise and you don't have an income, you have no idea what your political views are because you're helpless and dependent.
	When you're helpless and dependent, you get manipulative and angry.
	Because it's a life unfit for an adult, right?
	You're basically saying, well, if I basically act like a baby, I'll get what I wanted as a baby.
	But you can't, because you're not a baby anymore.
	You're an adult. And if you try to act like a baby, you know, helpless and full of wild emotions and aggression when you don't get your way, or babies cry when they don't get their way, and thank God they do, or we wouldn't know what to provide for them to keep them alive.
	But if you act like a baby when you're an adult, you are unjust.
	You're manipulative. You're aggressive.
	The babies are angry when they don't get what they want in order to stay alive because their mothers owe them love, care, protection, affection.
	But if you rage against people as an adult, because you're actually angry with your mother as a baby, then you are now your mother.
	You're not you as a baby.
	Because that's what your mother was doing.
	Your mother was raging against someone who didn't conform to her wishes and expectations, i.e.
	the baby. So now you've gone from victim to brutalizer.
	You've gone from victim to victimizer.
	You've gone from victim to bully.
	And then your fate is sealed.
	Once you act out the bullying that was done unto you out of a misguided attempt to heal the wounds of the past, the circle is complete and you can't escape anymore.
	Because once evildoers have lured you into doing evil in the name of healing, then you turn that into a virtue and you can't get out.
	out, you can't escape.
	Can't escape.
	It was so sad when Steph was removed from YouTube.
	The world would be so much better.
	Well, but, and I obviously agree with you, but the world would be far worse for people who genuinely believe that they can only survive on the kindness of strangers.
	Right? So, when you have to survive on the kindness of strangers, the first thing that you do is lie.
	Because if you don't lie, they're no longer strangers.
	They're intimate. They understand who you are.
	They don't want to give you stuff. In the same way that Stanley Kowalski was relatively nice to Blanche DuBois when she first came by, but then once she realized her personality, he got her the hell out of his house.
	And then she latches on to some new doctor who's taken to an asylum.
	You have to lie when you're dependent on the kindness of strangers.
	And therefore, when someone comes along and tells the truth, Someone comes along and tells the truth.
	They threaten your survival.
	The truth becomes literally a predator.
	How horrified would you be if someone loosed a tiger in your house while you slept?
	You would view that, and rightly so, as an act of murderous aggression that could get you killed in your sleep.
	When you live on lies, I mean, if you look at women, right?
	If women get a whole bunch of extra money by pretending that the pay gap between men and women is simply the result of prejudice and sexism, then they get jobs, they get extra pay, they get extra benefits, they get all of this extra stuff.
	Now, if they've pursued that in the absence of settling down and having...
	Kids and a husband who loves them, her and the kids, right?
	And they've just pursued this.
	Then what happens to a woman who's 45 if the pay gap is no longer believed?
	If people pierce through the illusion of the gender pay gap and say, no, it's fair.
	It's fair. You know, men work harder, they work longer, they don't have kids, whatever you want to say, right?
	Then let's say that because people no longer believe in the gender pay gap, all of the pro-female money transfer stuff ends.
	Then those women may lose their jobs.
	They may lose their jobs.
	Then what? They have their jobs.
	They spend money and women end up with more debt, right?
	They spent money based upon the expectation that this job would continue, that their benefits would continue.
	And then the government would kick in their old age pensions when they get older.
	And so they're like, well, it's easy to say I don't need no man when men are forced to give you money through the state.
	Sort of like saying I don't need no combine harvester when the state enforces your slave contracts.
	I guess you don't, but it's pretty immoral.
	So when someone like me or lots of other people have talked about this and say, well, you know, the gender pay gap is not really the result of sexism or denigration or hatred or misogyny or anything like that.
	There's really specific economic forces at work that are pretty objective.
	So if... The legislation that pushes, over time, trillions of dollars into the hands of women, if that legislation is threatened by the truth, then your income, your survivability, your entire life choices are intensely threatened by the truth.
	once you survive on a lie the truth becomes a predator you know if you're a farmer and you have just enough you're growing just enough food for your family to survive over the winter and someone comes along and sets fire to your crops in the middle of the summer that is an act of murderousness Do you understand? It's an act of murderousness.
	If the welfare state is immoral, as I sort of made the argument, there's a forcible transfer of wealth, violation of property rights, non-aggression principle, and so on.
	So let's say that you've had a bunch of different kids by different men.
	You've never demanded a man settle down.
	You know, for women who say you can't find a good man, no good men around, you'll get pregnant quite a bit.
	So then, what happens if the immorality of the welfare state becomes a general perception?
	What happens? Do you feel like you can survive?
	Do you feel like you can put food in your children's mouths?
	What if you have relied on socialized healthcare and you've let your health go to shit?
	You don't exercise, you eat too much, you're overweight, you drink too much, because healthcare is free!
	It's like that old Simpsons cartoon where Homer visits Canada and runs in front of a car because healthcare is free.
	What happens if the immorality of socialized medicine becomes more clear and it's taken away and now you have to pay for stuff?
	You view that as murderousness towards you and it provokes all of your annihilation terror and it provokes massive amounts of aggression because you...
	Because you didn't get what you deserved as a child, you feel like you're owed stuff as an adult.
	I'm not going to get mad at my mom, I'm just going to make society do what my mom did and give me free stuff.
	Who's supposed to provide health care?
	Your parents. Who's supposed to provide resources and food to you?
	Your parents. You run to the state.
	Who's supposed to adjudicate injustice?
	Your parents. But if your parents didn't provide it to you, you run for the state so you don't have to get mad at your parents and deal with that.
	Those emotions, the threat, right?
	In other words, you become your exploitive parents because you won't confront your exploitive parents.
	Whatever we won't confront, we repeat, right?
	Which is why I did sit down with my mom many times and talk about what happened in my childhood because I didn't want to repeat it.
	Whatever you won't confront, you will repeat.
	Absolutely. It's an annihilation panic, and if you are self-sufficient, right, if you have worked, this is why I asked earlier, like how many of you have, you know, You know, when did you get jobs?
	And you guys got jobs on average pretty early.
	So if you are self-sufficient, if you exercise, if you are confident in your own ability to provide for yourself, then you don't know what it's like to have the annihilation panic of the withdrawal of resources that you believe that you need to survive and you don't then you don't know what it's like to have the annihilation panic of the withdrawal of resources Thank you.
	Let me say this again.
	It's really... If you exercise, if you're healthy, if you provide for yourself, if you have some savings, you don't fundamentally understand, and I don't either, you don't fundamentally understand the annihilation panic, the rage and the terror that comes when you're dependent upon the kindness of strangers.
	Then anyone who comes along and wakes those strangers up to the immorality of the situation is threatening your survival, is threatening your existence, is loosing the tiger in your house.
	And thus, violence against the people who are threatening your existence as you perceive it is perfectly justified.
	Of course. Somebody running at you with a chainsaw, yeah, you can act in self-defense, right?
	Somebody says, I'm laughing so hard right now.
	now used to be left-wing when I started making six figures and getting in good shape I realized different right how are you preparing for an afterlife how are you preparing for an afterlife Well, by having these conversations, which I hope will live forever.
	Type something in here.
	It's read for a thousand years or more.
	Because this is the best intellectual snapshot of the world that is, I think, at the moment.
	You're mummifying cats.
	Excellent. Alright, so that's the stuff I wanted to get across today.
	Really, really appreciate you guys dropping by.
	Sorry we didn't get to the voice chat, but I'll have to figure out this weird echo thing.
	More useless things to do for tech reasons that nobody understands.
	So, had a great mother, mediocre father.
	One parent always gets away, right?
	Your mother chose your father, so she chose mediocre for her son.
	So... All right. Have yourselves a wonderful, wonderful weekend.
	Thank you so much for dropping by today.
	Great pleasure to chat. And freedomain.com forward slash donate to help out the show.
	Always massively, massively appreciated.
	And it would be very helpful if you could help out.
	Tons of things you can do.
	Justpoornovel.com for my free novel.
	Please, please just start it.
	You'll love it. Almostnovel.com for my historical novel in the 20th century.
	And... FDRURL.com forward slash TGOA. FDRURL.com forward slash TGOA for my modern novel, A Comedy.
	So thanks so much, everyone.
	Great pleasure to chat with you today.
	Have yourself a completely fantastic afternoon, and I'll talk to you soon.

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