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June 24, 2021 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

02:34:31

"I GIVE UP!" Wednesday Night Live 24 6 2021

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	Well, well, good evening everybody.
	Stefan Molyneux from Freedom, Maine.
	I hope that you are doing well.
	I hope that you are having a wonderful evening.
	And I hope that you are ready to enjoy the glorious spectacle of watching a man give up.
	I hope that will be pleasurable for you.
	I hope that you will relish The reality of the situation.
	Yeah, John McAfee died this evening.
	He believed he was going to be Jeffrey Epstein by, I guess, the US government.
	He was in a Spanish jail. Just awaiting extradition, minutes away from extradition to the US, and boom!
	Gone, baby, even though he tweeted and said, no, he felt fine.
	And, yeah, he was a bit of an oddball, real crypto guy, software entrepreneur, kind of a genius in his own way, and pushed the envelope to the point where he got a paper cut that appears to have beheaded him.
	So, yeah, I don't know much about his life as a whole.
	I know he's big on crypto.
	I know he's highly skeptical of the U.S. government.
	And he's gone.
	He's just playing, what, is he 75 years old?
	A very storied life. And I suppose there's stuff to mourn in his passing, but we should all have lives that rich and interesting, right?
	So, yeah, how are you guys doing this evening?
	Anything that's really, before I launch into my collapse of belief system and how I've just given up on something pretty important?
	Is there something that you guys are yearning, burning to chat about if there's somebody who's got something massively enormous?
	All of his wives tried to kill him.
	I don't know about the truth of this.
	Let's see here. Let me just drop off the chat here.
	And I'll just say hi to people.
	Hi, Jacob. Hi, James.
	Hi, Milshawn. Hi, Michael.
	Hi, Taylor. Hi, Ira.
	Hello, RoboBeast. Hello, Barber.
	Hello, So. Nice to see you again.
	How you doing? Do you see any parallels between any aspects between you and John McAfee?
	Hopefully, I'll make it past 75.
	How can governments control Bitcoin?
	They'll probably try.
	But of course, the whole point is to get enough people on the lifeboats that they don't try and head back and hang on to the Titanic, right?
	It's your birthday, Axwell May!
	Happy birthday to you!
	Hope you're doing well. How do I call in?
	Zoom isn't Skype. Your thing said Skype.
	My thing? My thing said Skype.
	My thing, if it had tattooed, do it have the source code for Skype?
	That's how long it is. Let's see here.
	Good evening. Hey, Dian, how you doing?
	Did you watch Office Space?
	That is a funny movie.
	That is a very funny movie.
	A4 load letter, what does that mean?
	That's a funny movie.
	One can watch live.
	Life is beautiful. Yes, happy birthday.
	Happy birthday. All right. So...
	Are you ready?
	Hit me with a why.
	Hit me with a why if you have...
	Have you given up over the past year on a sort of foundational belief?
	Have you just plain, and not even like putting it on the shelf, putting on a hole, putting it on the back burner, just like done and gone and dusted and you hit the road, da-doom on the car, no turning back, you know you hit something and yeah, just hit me with a why. Hit me.
	You think I'm going back to Hong Kong at the moment?
	What are you trying to give me a death wish here?
	Think I'm going to Hong Kong? Hit me with a Y. Okay, just give me, if you can, and I appreciate your feedback here, just give me a real brief synopsis of what you've given up on, because I'm in the process of disassembling so many beliefs that I'm like somebody performing an autopsy on Frankenstein.
	I've totally lost faith in the IRS. Hmm.
	You know, the IRS. You put that together and you get theirs, right?
	Yes, government.
	Yes, that humanity is generally good and that average IQ of 100 is sufficient.
	Yes, I don't know how I should feel, though.
	Yes, desperate to expatriate from the USA. Yes, have given up on reforming government for the better.
	Politics is dead. I will go with you if you want to go back to Hong Kong.
	I would love to go back to Hong Kong, but again, I don't think it would be particularly safe.
	Given up on vaccines, given up on a relationship, given up on America, given up on the medical system.
	You know, everybody says when you talk about no government, oh, but who's going to build the roads?
	Who's going to do national defense?
	Okay, I'll hit you with one.
	Without the government, who's going to fund gain-of-function research in a dictatorship that blows back to a pandemic that destroys half your economy?
	I don't know. Without the government, who's going to invite in and pay for and fund illegal immigrants who take seven times out of the tax system what they pay in taxes?
	Who? Who, without these things, is going to replace you if it's not for the government?
	All right. Let's say here, you gave up on universalism.
	I've given up on not going to a gulag.
	Yeah, hopefully we'll get the West Wing.
	That people will wake up to the crisis that is incoming.
	Why? You've given up on changing people's minds.
	Yeah, see, it is a little bit like trying to, you know, you can do sculpture on stone, you can do sculpture on my abs, you can do sculpture in ice even, but you can't do sculpture on fog.
	And that's what it's like trying to wrestle with people's minds.
	You just reach in there and it's like, anything to work with here?
	It's like watching somebody mime potter's clay.
	Oh, my love, my darling.
	All right. Let's see here.
	I've given up on the UK. Given up on my naive idea that the average person is anything more than a sociopath.
	Let's take over Greenland.
	Make Greenland free again.
	I did tell you guys about the flea domain idea, right?
	All right. The Irish Republican Army.
	Let's all go to El Salvador as a safe haven.
	Let's see here. Some staggering genius at the IRS trained in New Math claimed I owed the millions of dollars.
	Ooch. Oochie, oochie, oochie.
	So, okay, so let's, okay, I'll give you, I did a whole speech with a listener yesterday, who was calling in from Sweden, and he's like, how do I avoid taking the black pill?
	And I'm like, bend over, I have a black battery gram for you.
	So yeah, I'll put that out at some point.
	You can get it, just for those of you who don't know, and I want a big sales pitch here, you know, I haven't done a donation pitch since COVID started.
	I literally have not done a donation pitch since COVID started, because I know it's not the easiest financial situation.
	I mean, it's been tough for all of us, right?
	So, I don't mean this to be some big donation pitch, but when I finish a show, I will almost always put it out on freedomain.locals.com.
	A lot of them will go out to the general public.
	Some of them go to donors only, and they eventually make their way to the general public.
	But I had a call yesterday with a guy from Sweden who was giving up on his country and wasn't sure about having another kid and how do you avoid...
	And I had a long chat with him about all of that.
	And this doesn't come out of that.
	This topic tonight doesn't come out of that conversation.
	But yeah, freedomain.locals.com.
	And you can get a full year's access for just like 10 months at the moment if you'd like to sign up.
	It would be very helpful to me, obviously.
	And all this extra new beautiful sound that's coming out is not cheap.
	Not cheap. But I think well worth it because I'm trying to record for the ages in a way here too as a whole, right?
	So... Let's see.
	I've lost faith in vaccines.
	Yeah, so, I mean, according to some of the latest research, we're talking 3% of significant disability coming out of the vaccine.
	It is rough, man.
	The modern medical system is a total joke.
	Just a bunch of politically motivated pill pushers.
	I gave up on conservatives.
	They don't push anything towards the right.
	Well, sure, because if you're an effective conservative, you're going to get attacked, deplatformed, face physical violence.
	I mean, if you're an effective truth-teller at all, you could be ineffective, in which case you're allowed to exist as controlled opposition.
	But the moment you become effective, such as I was, then you just get the blowback.
	And the media and the educational system is kind of running everything.
	Are you telling me to give up on calling in to have my questions answered?
	No, I will do a wee speech here, and then we'll go off on Telegram.
	Yeah, the Bill C-10 in Canada, which is going to start to censor, I believe, social media, such as myself, has gone through the Parliament.
	They jammed it through on a Friday, of course, so nobody could talk about it, and it's probably going to get through the Senate.
	The Conservatives have said they'll repeal it if they get voted back in and all of that.
	The hell of the 70s led to Reagan.
	I'm not too worried. Yes, but demographics were different.
	Given up on my abusive mother.
	Sorry to hear that. Let's see here.
	I had PayPal for years, but they respectfully requested that I take my business elsewhere.
	So let's see here.
	So let's see here.
	Seasteading is the only way we must manufacture our own freedom.
	So, I, it's interesting.
	I wonder to some degree, you know, everyone talks about, not everyone, some people talk about like this whole big plan or whatever, right?
	And I just wonder if, you know, some of this whole panic about the pandemic and all of that is just, it's just bad financial incentives that just kind of steamroll it from there.
	So, in other words, if you look at people panicking about the COOF, right?
	They're panicking about coronavirus, and so they tune into the media, they sit on the ticker feeds, they follow the news and all of that.
	And so the media and the tech companies have a big incentive for there not to be...
	Alternative treatments, right?
	Because as you know, the vaccine is in as an emergency authorized thing, and you can only have emergency authorized medicines or vaccines if there's no other treatment available for the illness.
	And again, I'm not a doctor, I can't evaluate these things, but some people say ivermectin and hydrochloroquine and so on.
	And if these things did have some positive effect and they tamped down or quelled, The pandemic, then it wouldn't be a pandemic anymore, and then you wouldn't get huge amounts of money flowing up to the high-tech companies, flowing up to a wide variety of other things.
	So maybe, just maybe, it was just we've got to push down.
	Maybe it's nothing as sinister or more sinister, still pretty sinister, nothing more sinister than companies like to make money.
	And of course, the vaccine manufacturers make a lot of money.
	Governments, of course, get to extend and expand their powers.
	But I wonder if it just had a lot to do with the fact that people's advertising revenues in media companies, social media companies, news companies, and so on, they just went through the roof.
	Everybody's sort of hanging on to the COVID data, right?
	So they have every incentive to keep pumping up the danger and they have every incentive to keep the pandemic going as long as possible because it's a massive wealth transfer.
	Trillions of dollars have been transferred from the poor and the middle class to the super wealthy and they just have the incentive to keep that going.
	Because there's so much panic about it, because there may be suppressed alternative treatment regimens if those are effective, Then you end up with this desperate need for a vaccine because everyone's so scared.
	And I don't know. I'm just wondering if it's, you know, I know some people say this stuff is planned.
	Maybe. But maybe it's all just bad financial incentives, right?
	Just bad financial incentives.
	So, yeah, go watch the Dark Horse podcast.
	Brett Weinstein. That's Brett with one T. And, yeah, it's pretty wild.
	Wife developed blood clots after AZ vaccine.
	Sorry about that. My uncle got Bell's palsy from the vaccine.
	I know someone whose mother died shortly after getting the vaccine.
	Again, just anecdotes, not proof.
	Not proof, but it's pretty bad.
	It's pretty bad. At least some of the anecdotes.
	Yeah, anecdotes are not completely unimportant.
	Not completely unimportant.
	So... Alright, so I will tell you how and where and in what manner I've given up.
	Now, of course, for those of you who've been listening to me for a while, I've done a lot of speeches.
	But on...
	Female empowerment, right?
	Because, I mean, I was raised really in the belly of the beast of maybe second wave feminism.
	First wave feminism is, you know, let's give women equal rights.
	Second wave feminism is let's give women equal outcomes.
	And so for me, it was very much like, well, women are totally equal to men.
	Women should be treated equal to men.
	And any difference or disparity between men and women is the result of sexism, right?
	So if women are making less money than men, it's because of sexism.
	And before I was even born in the US and other places, you had this legislation that went into effect, which was...
	That women who were in jobs of equal value to men had to be paid the same.
	And of course, who knows what that even means.
	And it became illegal to ask a woman if she wanted to get married, if she wanted to have kids, and all of that.
	And you see this going on even now.
	Women are only making 67 cents on the dollar of men, and this constant provoking of resentment on the part of women that they're exploited, that they're...
	That's underpaid, that's undervalued, that all of their work at home is unpaid labor and just all of this stuff, which is just brutal.
	And it really kills the relationship between the sexes, right?
	I mean, we are supposed to get along.
	We fit together like jigsaw puzzle pieces, not just physically, but mentally.
	And we're supposed to divide the labor and enjoy and relish each other's company.
	So I grew up with all of this female empowerment stuff, and I was for many years, and have been for many, many years, trying to talk about, you know, take full responsibility for your life, don't blame everybody else, to men and to women.
	The 150% responsibility idea that I've talked about, that if anything bad happens to you, the first place you should go is, say, it's 150% my fault.
	Because it's very easy to blame other people.
	But if you blame other people, you disempower yourself.
	Now, this doesn't mean that other people aren't to blame.
	And particularly, of course, you didn't choose your family.
	If you had a bad family, that's not your fault.
	But, you know, when you're an adult, you know, if I went out with a girl and it didn't work out, I said, well, 150% my fault.
	Now, of course, the temptation is to say, yes, but she did this and she did that.
	It's like, yeah, but you chose her. I chose her.
	I chose her.
	So when bad things happen to me, my default position is 150% my fault.
	And if you take that approach, you will be absolutely surprised, if not downright shocked, how your life improves.
	How your life absolutely completely and totally improves.
	And so I was talking about this, of course, with regards to women and 150% ownership, take ownership.
	You know, if you want to have equal rights to men, then equal responsibility is kind of what goes hand in hand and all of that.
	And I don't know, I was just reading this article, and I'll get to it in a second.
	I was just reading this article. And I was like, just reading it, I could just feel.
	You know, you ever play these games, egg timer, or when you're a kid, how you brush your teeth.
	You play these games, because these little egg timers, they've got the sand in them through the hourglass.
	And it was just like, the last bit, just, I was just like, you know what, I give up.
	I'm wrong. It was a fool's quest.
	It was a fool's errand. That, in general, there are individuals.
	My wife takes full responsibility.
	My daughter's great at it too. And there are obviously exceptions to the general rule.
	It's not everyone. But there's no chance.
	There's no chance of women stepping up to take equal responsibility to that of men or for society to hold women to the same standards that it holds men.
	It's not going to happen. And I say this, of course, you know, feminism has been going on for over, gosh, vindication of the rights of women from Mary Shelley.
	What was that? Mid-19th century, something like that.
	So it's been going on for 150, 160 years.
	And nothing really has changed.
	Nothing has really changed.
	And the reason for that...
	Do you guys know why women and children have higher voices than men?
	Do you know why that is the case?
	Do you know, evolutionarily speaking, I think, why women and children...
	Women have higher voices than men.
	So the reason I think that women have higher voices than men is so that if there's a panic, if there's a stress, if there's a chaos, if there's an invasion, if there's a predator, you know who to save, right? You go and save all of the people who have high voices.
	High voices the scream will carry further.
	It's more shrill. It hits your eardrums in a particular way.
	And I think it's easier to echolocate.
	It doesn't bounce around as much.
	So the reason why children have very high voices is you know to go and save the children where they are.
	And the reason that women have very high voices and John Anderson have very high voices is you know where they are and where to go to save them.
	And... You know who to step over, which is the men, right?
	And of course, for men, yelling out for help is usually a pointless endeavor anyway, right?
	So that is really foundational when you think of how deep it is embedded, these sort of women and children first, how deep it is embedded into our DNA, into our evolution, that men are just hardwired to please women.
	I've talked about this before, so I'll just touch on it really briefly here.
	We're hardwired to please women because women control reproduction.
	And those genes that did not please women did not reproduce.
	Only about half of men reproduce throughout human history, about 80 plus percent of women.
	So women control whether your genes get to the next generation.
	So if you don't please women, Your genes die out, which means that all the genes for the last couple of million years, all the genes that have survived are those which defer to and please women, because women say yes or no with regards to whether your genes get to the next generation, right? So we're just hardwired.
	And it's, I think, saying to society, hold women to an equal standard of accountability to men is I fell prey to the myth of the Soviet man, right?
	The myth of the Soviet man is, okay, so yeah, we all respond to incentives and we try to maximize resources and we care about our own genes and we care about genes that are closer to us more than genes further away and in-group preference and family and ethnicity and so on, geography.
	And so the fact that we don't, that we respond to incentives is foundational to us as biological creatures, but then of course the communists come along and say, we're going to make this new Soviet man, and the new Soviet man, you see, is not going to be...
	He doesn't respond to incentives.
	He just gives and sacrifices and does everything for the proletariat and works, you know, like Boxler, I think it is, in Animal Farm, just works night and day and it doesn't matter if he'll never get a raise and it doesn't matter if he'll never reap the rewards of his own labor.
	He's just going to sacrifice him for the noble good of the five-year-old.
	Right? All of this stuff where you just have a new human being who doesn't respond to incentives.
	Or the incentive is some abstract good that has nothing to do with his own personal welfare and that people will expend calories without gaining additional resources and just give everything away.
	And the new Soviet man, of course, never came to be.
	Never, ever came to be.
	It never came into existence.
	I mean, communism doesn't work fundamentally because of the price problem, right?
	You don't have a free market.
	There's no way to allocate resources.
	Price is this amazing signal which says where resources are required based upon people's subjective needs.
	If you don't have a free market, you don't have a price mechanism and therefore you can't possibly.
	Allocate resources, even remotely effectively.
	And it's not a matter of willpower.
	It's not a matter of, well, if we had a faster computer or the Venus Project or whatever it is, like if we just had some resource-based economy or the right bureaucrat or whatever it is, or enough information.
	No. Without the price mechanism, there's simply no way to allocate resources, even remotely effectively, which means most of them get waste, which means everybody stays poor and gets poorer as a whole.
	The new Soviet man was supposed to replace the old economic man.
	This, of course, never came to be.
	Now, the idea that the strong, empowered, responsible women would replace the women as we have evolved.
	And listen, I love women.
	I'm delightfully incomprehensible to me.
	I'm happily married.
	I love my wife. I have female friends who I worship and think are great and all of that.
	But, you know, I mean, we have to look at the trends as a whole, right?
	I mean, where my moral courage is, intellectual courage is, is not exactly in the middle of the bell curve, but you wouldn't want...
	The bell curve exists for a reason, and exceptions like us are the exceptions that prove the general rule.
	So... The idea that we are going to replace femininity with equal responsibility is a lie.
	And I pushed it.
	So I'll just read this article.
	I probably won't read the whole thing, but...
	It's called Tapped Out, Why Mothers Are Vulnerable to Next Wave of the Pandemic, One of Poor Mental Health.
	Now, of course, you guys know, who is it who dies the most in this pandemic?
	Well, it's men.
	Men die the most. But you see, women are sad.
	And you don't see articles about how men are dying.
	And, of course, one of the big horrible things that's happened to men is sort of the one-two punch is divorce laws and the family court system has just eviscerated men.
	And the other thing, of course, is that you have massive amounts of hyper-regulation in Western economies.
	And you have the outsourcing of industrial labor of, you know, IQ 90 to IQ 105 labor to other countries, to China, to the third world and so on, which has created the Rust Belt and you have the welfare state and all of that.
	So it has been really, really rough for men for the last 40 years.
	Really rough for men.
	What do we want to do as men?
	We know, we know, we know, we know what we want to do as men.
	What we want to do as men is we want to protect, we want to provide.
	We can't protect and we can't, there's no need for us to provide because the government will rush in and give all the resources that women want, right?
	So let me read a little bit of this and tell you what I think and I'm happy to open this up to what you guys think or any other topic as a whole.
	Yeah, women most affected, right?
	Women most Most affected.
	Yeah, I'll put the telegram link in.
	Alright, so when the country went into lockdown last March, Abigail Rubialis kept her children occupied by baking cookies, doing crafts, and making slime.
	But by this May, after more than a year of juggling their care with household chores and her work in the hospitality and food industry, the Toronto resident felt depleted.
	Okay, so... Good.
	No mention of a husband, of course.
	No mention of... And she's like Miss Rubiales, right?
	So MS. So I assume that's a single mother.
	So, she's trying to raise two children, three and six, and she's working in the hospitality and food industry.
	And the idea that you can be a working mother means that you will do both things badly, you will be forever unsatisfied, and in general, your children will pay the price, right?
	Children will pay the price.
	So the article says her children, three and six, were spending more time on an iPad than Miss Rubiales would have previously allowed.
	She conceded defeat when they ate a granola bar for lunch.
	The family's laundry was piling up.
	I'm just tapped out, Miss Rubiales said, sighing.
	There was just a day I just felt like just hitting a wall, like I can't be the family cheerleader anymore, you know?
	So, of course, sympathy, right?
	Sympathy. Ms.
	Rubiala's feelings of burnout and exhaustion are reflected in the numbers.
	According to a study published in March in The Lancet Psychiatry, mental health problems among Canadian mothers sharply rose during the first wave of the pandemic, with rates of anxiety and depression nearly double what they were pre-COVID. An Ontario parent survey conducted around the same period by researchers at McMaster University and the Offred Centre for Child Studies found nearly 60% of respondents, almost all of them women, reported symptoms that met the criteria for depression.
	And more recent survey data released in May by the Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction and the Mental Health Commission of Canada revealed 37% of women, compared with 24% of men with young children, reported having moderate to severe anxiety.
	Gosh.
	Gosh.
	The pandemic has been hard on many Canadians, but mounting evidence indicates that mothers in particular, whom many families have been relying on through the past year, are buckling under the strait.
	See, buckling under the strain.
	inanimate objects, you know, like you build a bridge and then you put 10 tons of material on it and the bridge just buckles under the strain.
	Like they're just inanimate.
	They can't make choices.
	They can't say, "Oh, wow, you know, I should probably quit my job and rely on my husband's income because, you know, the pandemic is going on and my kids need me and they're three and six and all of that." So, but no, they're just inanimate objects just buckling under the strain.
	And, you know, the other thing too, so my late father has sisters and those sisters were always very strong and staunch and took no nonsense.
	And this is sort of my model of femininity.
	I sort of had on the one side, I shouldn't laugh, but on the one side I had the Blanche Dubois of my mother that is hysteria and hysteria.
	And neurasthenia and hypochondria and violence and manipulation.
	And that's sort of a caricature, like an extreme caricature of femininity.
	But on the other side, and I spent some summers with these women and my cousins and all of that in Ireland.
	And other places, they were just very solid, sensible.
	They didn't complain. They begged.
	They ran households. They did charity work around the community.
	They knit the entire society together as a whole, and they carried it with relatively effortless burdens.
	Now, these were, of course, women who grew up sometimes during wars, and they just were able to keep things going and That level of feminine strength, and they weren't feminists as far as I could tell by any stretch of the imagination, but they did have a sort of bedrock solid Anglo-Saxon strength that they carried burdens pretty effortlessly.
	Back in the day, you had kids.
	It wasn't like they were epidurals.
	There weren't all of these amazing technologies for milking your breast milk and amazing technologies for children with these automatic rocking chairs and mobiles, like iPads.
	There was none of this stuff.
	And they just got it done.
	They raised kids.
	They ran households. They were candy stripers sometimes, which is the people who help out in hospitals.
	They did charity drives.
	They took care of neighbors. The workhorses and culture transmitters.
	Yes, my aunts did sound decent, but why did they not help you with your mother's abuse?
	Well, I didn't say they were perfect, right?
	And, you know, there are some people who just kind of radiate danger, right?
	And they radiate danger, and my mom is just one of them, right?
	And people tend to part ways in front of those, right?
	So... Yeah, people who've managed to hang in there and pull things through during times of extreme adversity.
	You know, in the 70s, when I was in England, there were massive coal shortages, water shortages, meat shortages, food shortages, and so on.
	I remember being in boarding school, and you would get one little cup of water.
	I mean, you'd be out there running, playing soccer and other sports and all of that, and you would get one cup of water.
	I mean, you get more hydration in a prison shower, right?
	I mean, so it was pretty bad.
	And we didn't get much food.
	Everything was...
	There was a meat shortage, so everything was kind of vegetarian, and you just couldn't get much energy out of that food.
	So you're constantly thirsty, constantly hungry.
	And, you know, they just...
	Made it work. And also, they weren't helicopter moms.
	They weren't, you know, I mean, I remember my cousin, he cut his arm incredibly badly on a greenhouse window and, you know, everybody just dealt with it and moved on and so on.
	And, you know, one of my aunts had like four kids and, you know, everything just kind of worked.
	There were frictions within the family and I get all of that.
	So, again, it's not a perfect situation or scenario, but they just kind of got things done.
	And there wasn't a pity party.
	There wasn't a... You know, that trembling breath that wasn't that, those fainting spells that wasn't this, I'm overwhelmed.
	This just wasn't part of the brisk efficiency.
	And these are people who grew up without washing machines, without dishwashers in particular.
	I remember when a friend of mine's mother first got a dishwasher, she said, you know, there's almost nothing better when you've had a bunch of people over.
	They were a very social family. There's almost nothing better in the world when you've had a bunch of people over than just lying in your bed and listening to the washing machine, the dishwashing machine, just go.
	Knowing that that's not you turning your fingertips into the Kalahari crack to desert.
	So, yeah, I just grew up with sensible women who got things done, and this sighing hysteria and all of that.
	Now, they weren't trying to do two things at once, though, fundamentally, right?
	They weren't trying to raise a family and run a career, right?
	This is a big lie. It's a big lie.
	So... This is Sherry Madigan, the senior author of the Lancet Psychiatric Study, associate professor of psychology at University of Calgary, and no dislike or, you know, anything to these people as a whole.
	That's just my thoughts about it.
	She said, when there's increased stress in their environment, when stressors mount and the availability of resources or ways to decrease that stress become less viable, mental health problems or mental illness is a likely outcome.
	Right. So, that is...
	Quite interesting, right?
	Do you think that men have not had increased stress in their environment over the increased crime rates in many areas, decreased work opportunities, and so on?
	Men have had a lot of stressors.
	I mean, men still are contributing or supposed to be contributing or usually are contributing more to the family income and family wealth And for most men, their wages have stagnated or declined for the last 40 years.
	You don't think that's a bit of a stressor for men that they simply can't provide for their families in the way that their parents did?
	I mean, that's a lot of stress.
	That's a lot of stress. I mean, the men in England who immigrants have been, you know, grooming and sometimes raping their daughters or their children, that's very stressful, right?
	I mean, and yet, there's no, a little bit more stressful than my kids are spending too much time on the iPad and they had a granola for lunch.
	Yeah, increased suicides among men.
	Society's really not working for men.
	And so there's a lot of increased stress in the environment and where's the sensitivity towards men?
	And this woman, again, I don't know her, I have no idea, but...
	Does she sit there and say, well, you know, but boy, what women have faced over the last year, men have been facing for decades, let's talk about that.
	Well, no. What are the lessons?
	It's just the sensitivity.
	Oh, women are upset.
	And everyone stops and gasps, right?
	I mean, we've all seen these, or if you haven't, you should look.
	These videos, right? These videos where...
	You know, a couple's arguing, and the man hits the woman.
	And it's just pretend, right?
	It's staged. And, of course, when the man hits the woman, everybody immediately stops what they're doing, rushes over, gets aggressive with the man, protects the woman, and, of course...
	But if a couple's arguing and the woman hits the man, people laugh, they snigger, they film it, they never make any attempt to intervene or do anything like that.
	And, you know, we know that physical violence...
	Between males and females, if it occurs, it's about 50-50 males and females in terms of initiating the aggression.
	But it doesn't happen.
	Now, of course, if the videos showed that society as a whole intervened when a woman was hitting a man, but not when a man was hitting a woman, this would be evidence of patriarchy and oppression and lack of caring.
	But it's funny.
	These videos are in the comedy section as a whole.
	And that's not privilege.
	Obviously, the male disposability is a very real thing.
	It's a very real definition of privilege.
	Yeah, for sure. For sure.
	You know, if you want to know who rules over you, look at you.
	You're not allowed to criticize, right?
	So, for many women, this has been precisely what has happened during the pandemic.
	Their stressors, including losses of employment and income and overseeing their children's online schooling, have stacked up.
	At the same time, resources to cope with stress, including community and childcare support in the form of friends and extended family members and in certain jurisdictions, daycares, and in-school learning, has been cut off to them, right?
	Okay. So, losses of employment.
	Well, male unemployment has been pretty high and rising in many ways over the last couple of decades.
	Loss of income, yeah.
	Male wages in many sectors and in many classes have stagnated or declined for 40-plus years.
	Overseeing their children's online schooling.
	Overseeing their children's online schooling.
	Of course, women used to educate their own children, right?
	I mean, maybe there was a schoolhouse.
	If you lived in a small town, you live in a farm.
	And of course, most people were rural back in the day.
	It used to be that over 90% of Americans were involved in farming up until the turn of the 20th century.
	So you'd be educating your own kids, you know, plus you'd have a whole job.
	You'd be preparing food.
	You'd be doing laundry.
	You'd be taking care of certain aspects of the crops.
	You'd be hanging on to feeding the chickens and you'd be raising kids.
	And I don't think that there was this level of stress and anxiety.
	So it's kind of strange, right?
	And resources to cope with stress.
	So men have been undergoing massive stressors for the last 40 years.
	And not only are there decreased resources for men to cope with the stress, there are no resources for men to cope with the stress because the fact that men are stressed doesn't even exist.
	Yeah, women do most violence to kids.
	Yeah, for sure. For sure.
	For sure. So let's see here.
	As the Ontario Parents Survey reveals, roughly half of respondents reported they had moderate to severe concern about managing different aspects of their family life.
	Their children's remote learning, their children's screen time, household routines and meals, and their children's stress and anxiety.
	Nearly 94% of the 74-34 parents and caregivers surveyed were women.
	Moderate to severe concern about managing different aspects of their family life.
	Their children's remote learning.
	Well, I don't...
	And feel free, of course, to correct me on any of this.
	I'm a little confused because if your kid is on a Zoom call or whatever, they're doing something online, what is the supervision that you're doing exactly?
	I don't quite understand it.
	I mean, are you sitting down there with your kid and watching the Zoom call and taking...
	Like, I don't think that. I don't think that at all.
	I think that you just put your kids in front of the computer and it's like they're at school.
	And, yeah, okay, there's homework, I suppose, but the homework would be there whether they were in-person learning or not.
	So, it just...
	It sounds almost... Again, I'm happy to be corrected on this, but it sounds almost like, well, I have to oversee my children's online schooling.
	It's like, what does that mean?
	There's a kid and...
	He's in front of a computer screen and he's being taught and he's taking notes.
	Just like, what is overseeing?
	What is overseeing about that?
	I mean, I'm actually educating my daughter, which is a little different from sitting here in front of a computer.
	So kids won't sit down and work independently without constant supervision.
	So kids won't sit down and work independently.
	Well, but they're watching a Zoom call, aren't they?
	They're watching the screen, right?
	Is that right? Computer learning is not interactive with face-to-face holding of attention.
	No, no, no, I get that for sure.
	I get that for sure.
	But I would really question.
	The teachers are not good at Zoom school.
	It takes some attention. Okay.
	Okay. That's fair.
	E-learning was me getting up to tell my kindergartner to get from under his desk and going back to class while I was working.
	Hmm. All right.
	I'm happy to hear that.
	I just don't know if, in fact, there's a lot of managing children's remote learning.
	Managing children's screen time, household routines, and meals, right?
	And their children's stress and anxiety.
	Now, So when it comes to sort of running a household, yeah, I've been a stay-at-home dad for like 12 years or with my daughter, 12 and a half years or whatever, right?
	When it comes to managing a household, there's really not a massive amount of stuff to do.
	I mean, yes, you've got to prepare meals, but you can prepare meals and put them in the fridge.
	You can even put them in the freezer. And so you can, you've got a crock pot, you can make a big stew, you can just, you can have meals for a while.
	Or, you know, if you want, you can find, I'm a big one for finding, like, a good pizza special, like three-for-one pizzas, and just, you know, getting those, and you can stick some of them in the fridge or the freezer.
	But, yeah, so meals, not too bad, and your kids get older, they can make their own meals pretty easily.
	So, yeah, there's tidying, there's cleaning, yes, you can run the vacuum, you've got to dust, you've got to do the bathrooms and all of that, but more than an hour a day of that stuff, you're probably not doing it right.
	So, you really have a couple of hours of housework if you're home, and you can spend time with your kids.
	So, now, if you're trying to do a full-time job in there as well, well, that's just not the right thing to do.
	That's not the right thing to do.
	Having a job while you're a mom is like having an open marriage, right?
	You're just spending all your time with other people and destabilizing the entire situation, right?
	The crockpot is a godsend.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see here.
	It's not that easy. I have just won a bunch of it in Victoria, Australia.
	No, see, I'm not saying it's totally easy.
	I'm just saying I would question how much time women are actually spending hovering over their kids, right?
	If your kid cannot focus, work on solving that problem separately.
	So, yeah, I mean, I clean at least three hours a day.
	Lots of garden work to do, like weeding, etc.
	You clean your house three hours a day?
	Tell me a little bit more about how that works.
	I mean, hey, look, if you've got eight kids, seven kids, six kids, five kids, I can kind of get that, but you clean three hours a day?
	Every day? 21 hours a week?
	That's a part-time job.
	I mean, can you not make things more efficient than that?
	Can you not, if you've got a bunch of kids, help them learn how to clean, learn how to tidy up after themselves, learn to wipe down the counter when they use the toaster?
	You know, just basic stuff that you do when you're living with other people.
	Three hours a day? No.
	If you're doing garden work and solar, that's different, right?
	That's a little bit more of a hobby unless you're growing a lot of food and all that, right?
	So moderates are severe concerned about managing different aspects of their family life when you have...
	Because the other thing, too, right?
	Here's the other thing, right? So parents say, well, it's tough with my kids with online schooling.
	I mean, yeah, I get that, right?
	But here's the other. Of course, you can always switch to homeschooling if you want to do it that way.
	Because if you're going to spend as much time managing their bad online schooling, you just homeschool.
	It's a lot easier. But the other thing, of course, is that you also have...
	Less laundry to do because you're not having constant changes of clothes with the kids going to school.
	You don't have to get them up as early.
	You don't have to bundle them off to the school bus and so on.
	So there is a certain amount less of all of that, right?
	Let's see here. You have too much stuff if you have to clean three hours a day.
	Yeah, yeah, that's crazy to me.
	Women aren't as efficient as men at basic housework, even with machines acting as their slaves.
	I don't know about that. I don't know about that.
	Cleaning comes down to how much stuff you own.
	Yeah, and there is a certain amount of bless this mess stuff, right?
	A house lived in is going to be a little chaotic from time to time.
	So it says here, in a subsequent analysis of these Ontario survey data, which have yet to be published, researcher Andrea Gonzalez and her team found that high levels of concern among parents about these issues, along with concern about work-life balance, were associated with higher levels of depressive symptoms and anxiety.
	Yeah, right. It's important to recognize that many are resilient and will eventually bounce back, but not everyone will, blah, blah, blah.
	And see here, there's a certain proportion who continue to struggle.
	And those are the ones that I think we need to be most aware of and most concerned about and lead to support of professionals.
	See, they just continue to struggle.
	Find me an article where it talks about men trying to struggle, right?
	And again, these are all single moms.
	It's tough raising a kid alone.
	It's really, really tough to raise a kid alone.
	It's really nuts. Somebody says, hey, I was just listening to 2006 you.
	I'm currently up to 129 to 4800 and the arguments are orgasmic.
	These arguments will change the world.
	Thank you. I appreciate that.
	Go look up the guy. One of my listeners actually got arrested during a college show.
	It was really something else.
	Really, really something else.
	Okay. Um...
	So, indeed, according to Dr.
	Gonzalez's research, a third of parents said they raised their voice or yelled more when their children misbehaved, and nearly half reported a high level of conflict with their partner or spouse.
	Moreover, 40% said their children's mood or behavior had deteriorated, right?
	So, this is interesting.
	You watch this flip, right? So, they did 94% of the parents, sorry, 94% of the parents and caregivers surveyed were women, right?
	Now, here it says they suddenly switch from mothers to parents, right?
	Because they can't talk about mothers directly, right?
	So instead of saying, because 94% of them are moms, right?
	A third of parents, not mothers, parents, suddenly they switch to parents, right?
	And they raise their voice or yell more when their children misbehaved.
	Now, I don't know if any of that's true.
	In fact, I doubt that any of that is true.
	Because they're saying...
	They're saying, well, I'm yelling more, raising my voice, when their children misbehaved.
	Well, how do you know? How do you know if the children misbehave?
	Maybe the mom's got a headache. Maybe the kids are just playing loudly.
	You don't know that the children are misbehaving.
	High level of conflict with their partner or spouse.
	The children's mood or behavior had deteriorated.
	Well, sure, if you're yelling at them more, right?
	I mean, somebody who is...
	Five times your size yelling at you.
	That's crazy.
	Man, that's crazy.
	That's terrifying.
	Imagine someone five times your size just yelling at you.
	Maybe top of their voice.
	Maybe screaming at you. I don't know.
	I mean, it's verbal abuse.
	Verbal abuse to raise your voice to intimidate people.
	Moreover, they said the children's mood or behavior had deteriorated.
	So yeah, it's funny, you know, if you yell at people, if you verbally abuse people, their mood or behavior is going to deteriorate.
	But there's no causality. It's like, well, I have to raise my voice or I raise my voice because my children are misbehaving.
	No! No, that's not why you're doing it.
	You don't raise your voice because your children are misbehaving.
	First of all, what does that even mean? How do children exactly misbehave?
	You see, here's the thing. Everybody knows that yelling at your kids is a bad thing to do.
	Everybody knows that. That's not even in question.
	That's not an issue.
	Everybody knows that yelling at your children is bad parenting, right?
	You should sit down and reason with them calmly.
	This goes all the way back to My Three Sons with Fred McMurray from 1957 onwards.
	He reasoned with his kids even though his kids were quite a handful.
	So here's the funny thing, right?
	You say, well, I have to yell at my kids because my, or I yell at my kids because my kids are misbehaving, but by far the more egregious misbehaving in that situation is you yelling at your kids.
	You're misbehaving as a parent.
	You're misbehaving as a parent by yelling at your children.
	So the idea that misbehaving causes you to yell when it's the yelling itself that is the misbehaving that's foundational.
	Crazy. Crazy stuff.
	Crazy stuff. All right.
	So, in Ottawa, Catherine Takpani has been worrying about how her own mental health issues are affecting her two-year-old son.
	She's struggled to laugh and play with him while she's been drowning in depression and grief over the death of her brother in September.
	See, she's just drowning.
	Look, hard things are going to happen in life.
	You know, I had to parent when I had cancer, for God's sakes, right, and didn't know if I was going to make it.
	Hard things are going to happen in life.
	Hard things are going to happen in life.
	And you've got to just, I mean, suck it up and be there for your kids.
	You'll find that your stress and your upset are going to be significantly relieved when you just are there for other people.
	For me, helping people, having call-in shows, doing these kinds of shows, getting feedback and all of that.
	It's a wonderful thing.
	And yeah, there can be troubles in my life, but I feel better just being there for others.
	And it's just a wonderful thing, I think, and helpful for the world as a whole.
	I think, right? So...
	Yeah, it's tough. Now, I don't see anything about the death of her brother in September.
	Her child's concerned hugs in an attempt to soothe her sorrow amplify her heartache.
	So, she is not expressing affection, but her two-year-old son is able to do it.
	She's not able to comfort herself or her son, but her son is able to comfort and help her.
	That's not good.
	So, she said, it made me feel like a bad mother because here I am getting comforted by my son when I'm supposed to be the strong one.
	I'm supposed to be the glue for the family or work and cook and clean and care for the child.
	Thank you.
	Ms. Takpani, who is Inuk, said social inequities that have been magnified during the pandemic have added to her stress of raising a child in a society that treats racialized people unfairly.
	All right, policies that disproportionately affect black, indigenous, and people of color earlier move to allow police to randomly stop people during the current lockdown have contributed to her own anguish.
	The Lancet psychiatry studies showed First Nations, Inuit and Métis mothers had higher mean depression scores than all other mothers.
	It definitely does take another added-on toll to the already despairing situation we're in, Ms.
	Takpani said. So, I mean, the systemic racism, of course, is racism against white people and in particular white males.
	I mean, no question. That's not even a question.
	Because it's actually written into the law, right?
	Affirmative action for women, for non-whites, asterisk not including East Asians, that's actually written straight into the law.
	Straight into the law. So as far as systemic racism goes, there's no big mystery.
	You don't have to look up for it very high.
	You simply have to look at the actual laws that are in place, have been in place for 30, 40, 50 years or more, right there.
	So... If being treated unfairly by laws is really, really tough, we've got to have a lot of sympathy, it's really, really bad, okay, then where is the sympathy for the white males who are systematically and legally excluded significantly from the workforce?
	But again, the white males, all of the responsibility, all of the agencies, none of the sympathy, right?
	Gender inequities in how childcare, employment, and domestic worker divvied up contribute to mother's stress.
	Mothers have been taking the lion's share of their family's burdens during the pandemic, but this isn't always visible to others.
	Now again, this is where inequality is just so baked into our consciousness that expecting it to change is a fool's quest, right?
	So, family's burden.
	So, you know, the first thing that the family needs is money, resources, money, right?
	So, what happens for a lot of women, and what they seem to be peculiarly susceptible to, what happens for a lot of women, is that they simply don't see...
	The efforts that men put into to get resources for them.
	They simply... I don't know what it is.
	It's completely invisible.
	This goes back to when I was living with a woman in my 20s and I was paying the bills.
	And she was trying to get started in an industry and it was tough.
	So I was paying the bills. And so I would come home from working, you know, 10, 12-hour days, 14-hour days.
	I was an entrepreneur. I would come home and she would like basically like, you know, do the dishes.
	You know, you've got to do the dishes.
	You've got to clean the bathroom. You've got to do this.
	And I'm like, hey, I don't mind doing some of this stuff.
	But I said, you know, I've just been working for us for like 10, 12 hours a day.
	And she's like, and I'm like, that counts.
	That counts, right? Because we roof over her head.
	And literally, I don't remember.
	It was a bunch of discussions or arguments we had about this.
	I literally, it was like pushing two giant magnets with opposite poles.
	Like I simply could not get her to see that connection.
	It was wild.
	Because I was like, you know, if you were running everything and I only had to work for like, you know, it was just two of us, right?
	So it wasn't like a huge amount of work, right?
	And I said, if you were working 10-12 hours a day sometimes, and I was working a couple of hours a day, I wouldn't expect you to do my work, right?
	So I said, look, the hours that I spend working to pay for the bills, that is my contribution to the household.
	So... You're not doing 10, 12 hours a day of housework and whatever, right?
	And we even had to send out – we didn't have laundry in-house, right?
	So it actually got to the point where I would just pay people to do her laundry and fold it and all of that because she just didn't want to do that, didn't like that.
	And it was one of these things where I just – like it's just math.
	It's very, very simple, right?
	Just math. I'm working 10, 12, 14 hours a day and paying the bills.
	And so if you have to do an hour or two of, you know, housework and cleaning while you're looking for work in your field, the idea that I then have to work...
	I said, because, you know, let's just add it up, right?
	Let's say you do two hours a day of housework and cleaning and all of that.
	And I do 12 hours a day of working.
	Let's just say 10, right? It's 10 hours a day of working, right?
	Okay, let's make it eight.
	Doesn't matter because, you know, maybe I work a little bit on the weekends or whatever.
	So let's just say it's 40 hours.
	So you do two hours, right?
	You do two hours a day for seven days.
	That's 14 hours. I work eight hours a day for five days.
	That's 40 hours. So you're doing like, what, that less than a third.
	A little more than a third, right?
	So you're doing 14 hours a week.
	I'm doing 40 hours a week.
	That's our relative contributions.
	So if I do an hour of housework, then you're doing...
	Seven hours a week, right?
	And I'm doing 47 hours a week.
	Then our combined contribution, if I have to do an hour after we split the housework, right?
	50-50, an hour, an hour.
	Then you do seven hours a week and I do 47 hours a week.
	And literally in her bones, in her bone marrow, in her foundational consciousness, she looked at seven hours and 47 hours and felt that that was equal.
	Seven hours and 47 hours, that was equal.
	Whereas 14 hours from her and 40 hours from me was me exploiting her or not pulling my weight.
	I don't understand it.
	But how hot was she?
	Yeah, she was pretty, for sure.
	My wife is very pretty, and she's very fair with this kind of stuff, I think.
	Very fair. So, I don't know, hit me with a why if you've ever had this conversation where you come home from work, you've been working hard for your family, you've been putting in your, you know, with commutes, right?
	Maybe 10 hours a day. And you come home and it's like, here's a bucket, here's a cloth, you've got to wash the floors, you've got to do some laundry, you've got to, like, do you have that as men?
	And have you had any luck with the conversation of like, no, no, no, I just did 12 hours for the family.
	I just did 10 hours for the family.
	Have you had this? Andrew says yes, right?
	Yeah. Isn't it an odd conversation to be having?
	It's a very, very odd conversation to be having.
	Get a woman to call in to explain it.
	No, no, no. I get what it is.
	It's that she doesn't like doing the housework, so she wants me to do some of the housework.
	I get all of that. And she's just used to, you know, to take that cliched example, stomping her feet and getting her way, right?
	But it is just, it's just completely, it's like trying to explain the price mechanism to a Marxist.
	Like it's just glaze over and golemize and all that kind of stuff, right?
	My wife is wonderful.
	None of this happens. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
	When you meet a woman who gets this and is willing to pull her weight, it's fantastic.
	Yes, sorry, we're just working, FDR podcast, we're just working on some of the technology behind the scenes, so everything will be back soon, right?
	Somebody says, as a woman who does blue-collar work, I totally understand what it feels like to work long hours doing physical labor.
	Yeah, it's tough. It's tough for sure.
	But if you're working at a desk, maybe you're making even more money into all of that, right?
	So... So here's the thing, right?
	So they say mothers have been taking on the lion's share of the family's burdens during the pandemic.
	But that's not true.
	It's been harder for many people to make money during the pandemic, which means that men have had to work more, they've had to find alternate sources of income, they've had to hustle, they've had to find some way to pay the bills.
	So the idea that the only thing that happens, happens inside the home, that resources and money and It's just this weird conveyor belt, like sunlight to a plant, it just kind of happens.
	And if the woman ends up doing more work in the home, and the man ends up doing more work outside the home, it's like...
	Everything outside the home is like it doesn't exist.
	The man goes and, I don't know, maybe he's playing golf.
	Maybe he's going to the movies.
	Maybe he's learning how to hand-knit or throw axes.
	And then he just comes back and, yeah, bills get mysteriously paid and there's a roof over her head and there's internet and there's food and heating and electricity and all of that.
	But that's all just this weird, big, abstract, Jackson Pollock, poke-eyed blur.
	To a lot of women, to be perfectly frank.
	You know, and ladies, I'm trying to help you here.
	Like, I'm really, I'm not trying to be mean.
	Honestly, genuinely, with deep love and affection.
	Because the one thing women like to feel, and I understand why, is appreciated.
	I like to feel like my mom, like to feel appreciated, although she didn't do a huge amount, to feel appreciated.
	My wife, my daughter, my favorite dessert is carrot cake.
	And being in my 50s, I don't eat a lot of dessert anymore.
	But they made me a carrot cake for Father's Day.
	They made me a carrot for Father's Day.
	It's delicious. And I'm like, oh, thank you.
	It means so much. It's wonderful.
	My daughter made me a little animation about how much she loves me.
	And I said, I'm not crying.
	You're crying. It was beautiful, right?
	I really, really appreciate that.
	It's showing appreciation. So she would say, well, you don't even seem to appreciate what I'm doing.
	I said, I do say thank you.
	But how much do you appreciate me going to work and paying half the bills?
	Because that's actually more time than what you're spending on supporting us.
	And I know you're looking for work, so I don't begrudge it.
	But how much do you say, thank you for working today?
	Thank you for going in to bust your butt, to raise the money, to pay the bills.
	Thank you so much, right?
	You know, if your wife cooks you a wonderful meal, don't you say thank you for that?
	And then if you bring home a paycheck, doesn't she say thank you for that?
	I mean, so what you have to do to break down the family structure is you just have to make everything that happens outside of the home invisible.
	It's like another dimension.
	Just resources come magically flowing in and the man is just mysteriously gone and you just get women to completely gap out and blur out on the resources coming in so that she never says to the man, thank you so much for your hard work today.
	Thank you so much for your hard work today.
	I really appreciate it. Thank you for making the money to pay the bills.
	Thank you for putting up with difficult clients or difficult bosses or difficult co-workers or difficult employees.
	I really, really appreciate it.
	Wouldn't that... I mean, we're just like camels in the water when it comes to praise for men.
	We just seem to live on virtually nothing at all.
	But that is pretty wild.
	Oh, I'm describing your mother? Yeah.
	Yeah, so you say to women, oh no, women are taking on the lion's share of their family's burdens.
	But you see, if women are taking on the lion's share of their family's burdens, right?
	So women, a lot of women have quit, which is causing a lot of Marxists to panic because women are finding out their life is more fun when you're not working, especially if you have kids, right?
	So, if the woman is spending more time doing housework, it means, if they're maintaining their standard of living, it means that the man is spending more time working.
	Clearly. I mean, you understand, it's a zero-sum game.
	A woman's withdrawing from the workforce, she's working more at home, then the man is probably working more outside the home.
	But you don't see that. You have to blur that out completely.
	It has to not be visible. That way you can...
	Because women are working more at home, men are working more out there, right?
	Steph, is there any way you can add a download button for each volume on FDR Podcast?
	Not that I know of. Not that I know of.
	So... Ha ha ha ha ha!
	Oh, are you exhausted downloading 5,000 podcasts individually?
	Do you find that exhausting?
	Really? That's your level of exhaustion?
	I hope you're donating because, you know, I've got to pay for that bandwidth, right?
	I'm sure you are. Just as a reminder, it's not free.
	I have significant bandwidth costs every month for podcasts and books and audio books and you name it, right?
	So please, please, especially because people used to watch through YouTube where I didn't pay for bandwidth.
	But, yeah, just please donate.
	Please donate.
	Okay.
	So...
	Here's the thing, too. If you want to talk about underestimating and overestimating in terms of men and women, okay.
	Okay. Let's do it, right?
	Let's do it. So... If you want to talk about, say, men tend to overestimate how much they contribute to housework or parenting or whatever.
	Okay, do women overestimate how much they're actually contributing to family income?
	Do women do that? Do women do that?
	I went through this math not too long ago, right?
	Which is, if the woman is making $25 an hour, but you're paying for childcare, and you're paying for the second car, and you're paying for...
	If you're cleaning, dry cleaning and you're paying for lunches out and you're paying for gas and insurance and all of that stuff so the woman can get to work, then if you net out how much it's costing you to send your wife to work, if you net that out.
	Now, maybe you get subsidized, your grandparents raising the kids or whatever, but that's not great.
	Grandparents are too old to keep up with toddlers and to keep up.
	There was a study that came out recently that children who roughhouse with their fathers, and it is, let's face it, it is with the fathers, children who roughhouse with their fathers end up with much better social skills.
	And yeah, so, you know, the roughhousing is part of parenting and so on.
	And, you know, granddad, sorry, like, no disrespect to granddad who's, you know, 65 or 70 or 75.
	He ain't going to be roughhousing with a nine-year-old kid.
	Like, he's just not going to be doing it because he's going to get bent like a – broken like a twig.
	So that is – When you look at overestimating, so say, oh, but men overestimate how much they contribute to the household.
	It's like, okay, let's net out.
	And you should do this. Do this with your girlfriend, with your wife, if she's working.
	Net it out. And you'll be lucky if after all of the expenses, you'll be lucky if your wife is bringing home five or ten bucks.
	And after taxes, right? You have a higher income and you just pay more in taxes.
	So how much is your wife?
	And sometimes it will actually be negative, right?
	So you'll be lucky if your wife is bringing home more than five or ten bucks an hour.
	And you have all the stress and you don't get to raise your own kids.
	That's really bad.
	That's really bad. Bad.
	I'll kick a nine-year-old's ass when I'm 65.
	Yeah, I thought the same way.
	I thought, oh, I'll just keep exercising like crazy and age will barely touch me.
	And it's like, no, I'm sorry.
	Your tendons just get creaky.
	It's just the way it is, man.
	Your cartilage, your tendons just get creaky.
	So, yeah.
	So women vastly overestimate how much they're actually contributing to the finances if you have kids in particular.
	They vastly overestimate.
	How much they're contributing to the finances.
	And of course, women moving into the workforce en masse has simply driven down men's wages, right?
	So it's really...
	But you'll never hear that, right?
	You'll never see an article where they go through, okay, what's the woman actually bringing home after all of the expenses, all the taxes, all the travel, all of the childcare, all of the...
	How much is the woman actually bringing home?
	And it's like, well, I make $50,000 a year.
	It's like, yeah, but when you net it all out, you're bringing home $10,000.
	Interesting you gauge a marriage value by dollar signs.
	That's just passive aggressive.
	Come on, man. If you're a man, just work out a little, lift some weights, get some testosterone.
	This like, oh, it's so interesting that I'll wait.
	It's just so passive aggressive.
	My God. Yeah, of course you need dollar signs.
	You know the whole point of family is to raise children.
	You know who needs a lot of resources?
	Children. So the idea that you can separate love and marriage from actually paying the damn bills, it's like, come on, man.
	It's interesting. You gauge your marriage value by dollar signs.
	Hey, Siri, can you show me someone who's never donated to my show?
	All right. Let's see here.
	A subsequent report from Statistics Canada in February found household tasks like laundry meal preparation were more likely to be done by women than by men.
	And in households with children, the housework was half as likely to be done mostly by men than in households with no children.
	Children. Yeah, because, you see, the men are out there with their higher testosterone, often higher IQ, with a stronger work ethic and a sense instilled by millions of years of evolution to provide and protect their family.
	They're working very hard.
	Now, laundry and meal preparation is not high-skilled labor.
	And, you know, you're not caught on blue chefs or anything like that, right?
	Yeah, it's just the division of labor.
	You want one person doing – and household tasks, laundry and meal preparation, yeah.
	So women are now complaining about laundry and meal preparation when they have convection ovens, they have fridges, they have freezers, they have stand-alone, they've got microwaves, they've got ovens, all of this stuff.
	And they've got washers and dryers, a push-button thing.
	It's like, oh, but the laundry and the meal preparation – Come on, man.
	It's like any kind of labor-saving device.
	Like you've got a labor-saving device and all it does is save physical labor and produce whining and complaining.
	It's just like if you were more busy doing the physical labor stuff, if there weren't all these machines doing it for you, then you'd have less time to complain.
	You'd probably end up being happier. I don't know.
	It's just kind of funny, right? Okay, so they ask mothers, how did you come to this arrangement?
	Women in heterosexual relationships who earned less than their spouses were often the ones sacrificing their careers to take care of children during the pandemic, since their families relied less on their income.
	Oh! Do you see?
	There's no connection to any of this stuff, right?
	Oh, but men aren't contributing as much to the housework.
	It's like, well, yeah, because the women aren't contributing as much to the income.
	So if one person's got to quit, it makes sense that the person with the lesser income is going to quit, right?
	But it appears there's no winning.
	Women who had higher levels of education than their partners were more likely to have jobs that allowed them to work from home.
	Thus, when their partners left for work in fields like construction or healthcare, women were stuck managing both their careers and childcare at home.
	See again, there's no agency, no choice.
	They're just stuck.
	There's no winning. They're just buckling under the strain.
	They're just inanimate objects.
	They're just stuck. There's no choice, no options, no, oh, you know, I'm going to not work because it's crazy, I don't need the money, or we can live with less money.
	And, my God, yeah, I had to robo-vac the whole house today.
	Like, you can get houses these days with the vacuum cleaners, like, they're built into the walls, right?
	Like, you just plug, you don't even have to hump the vacuum cleaner around, like, you just plug it into the wall, and you get the Roombas or whatever they are, right?
	All this kind of stuff, right? I tried one once.
	All it did was suck up my headphone cords and get thrown into the basement.
	So they're just stuck managing both their careers and childcare at home.
	No. No.
	Women are in an unbelievably privileged situation these days.
	Unbelievably privileged situations these days, right?
	So they can work from home, air-conditioned, office, computer, sitting, comfortable.
	You know, construction is cold.
	It's hard. It back hurts.
	Healthcare, we're talking doctors.
	You're exposing yourself to illness and you've got to have your hands in people's guts half the day or whatever.
	Do anal checks or whatever, like you're checking for COVID in China.
	So, the husband is going up at 6 o'clock in the morning to go hump bricks in construction or something like that, and the woman has to sit on a computer with kids around at home.
	They literally feel like victims when they don't have to do this hard physical labor or healthcare with sick people around all the time.
	In the middle of a pandemic, the woman feels like a victim because she doesn't have to go to a hospital and deal with dying people.
	Yeah. That's why I give up.
	I completely and totally give up.
	It's never going to change. Moreover, Dr.
	Kalonko found fathers were less likely to have taken extended parental leave or have previously stepped back from the workforce to care for their children.
	Well, yeah, because they're making more money.
	That means they're working harder for children.
	The family. It doesn't exist, right?
	So she doesn't sit here and say, well, you know, someone has to take care because, you know, it's a time of sacrifice, a pandemic.
	Someone's got to take care of the kids.
	And, of course, it's women as a whole who won't go back to teaching, right?
	They're really enjoying not going back to teaching.
	The female teachers as a whole, but that doesn't matter.
	That doesn't exist, right? So here...
	Nobody's saying, well, men have really stepped up to shoulder more with the financial responsibilities.
	Men are working harder, they've given up their wife's income, and they're bringing home the bacon, and they've had to work harder, smarter, longer in order to, right?
	Like, oh my god. All that happens is women are just the sacrifice and they're stuck.
	This level of sentimental self-pity, again, I'm not even that mad at it.
	I'm not even that mad at it.
	What's that Joey line?
	He eats the dessert. I'm not even sorry.
	I'm not mad at it. It's just the physics.
	It's the physics of gender relations.
	Now we're going to change. Never going to change.
	Moreover, Dr. Calarco found fathers were less likely to pay extended leave.
	Of course, right, because somebody's got to pay the bills.
	Well, why aren't you taking extended bills when I quit working?
	Why aren't you taking extended leave or step back from the workforce to care for your children when I quit?
	It's like, because someone's got to pay the bills, you math illiterate.
	Like, what is the matter? And so, for many fathers during the pandemic, the push to do more in terms of parenting was a huge shock to the system, one that frequently left them frustrated and angry with their children.
	As a result, mothers often stepped in to protect their children from frustrated and angry dads.
	Ah, you see?
	You see? It's actually the mothers who are yelling at the children statistically, right?
	What was it, more than half?
	Something like that. But you see now, it's just, it's the fathers.
	And the women just have to step in to shield the children, frustrated and angry fathers.
	Maybe the fathers are frustrated and angry because they're not getting any credit for shouldering all the bills in a pandemic.
	And here's the thing, too. So, let's say the woman's on welfare.
	Should she not, at least in her prayers, say thanks to all the men who are going to work to put money into the tax system so that welfare is possible?
	No, of course not. Of course not, right?
	Okay, we'll just do a couple more minutes and take some calls.
	Mothers also face heightened societal expectations.
	They're expected to be the primary caregivers and to sacrifice their own needs and wants for their children's and family's well-being.
	What's more, you're not supposed to complain.
	I'm sorry.
	Oh, my God.
	Oh, my God.
	I'm so sorry.
	I'm sorry.
	How professional of me am I? I'm sorry.
	Okay, I'm sorry.
	So... I'm going to cough up a lung here.
	I'm sorry. I almost got there.
	I almost got there. Oh my god.
	Bless the blood vessel.
	Sorry.
	This is me giving up.
	laughs Sorry. I don't know if you guys got that sentence, but...
	Okay.
	Oh, mothers also face heightened societal expectations, she said.
	They're expected to be the primary caregivers and to sacrifice their own needs and wants for their children and families' well-being.
	What's more...
	What's more, you're not supposed to complain about it.
	Oh, it's horrible because my husband is paying more of the bills or the government is paying more of the bills on the backs of largely male taxpayers and I have to spend time with my children and other people are funding me to clean the house and...
	But you're just not...
	The whole article is complaining!
	The whole article is complaining.
	And you can look for these mother rage pandemic, mother anger pandemic.
	It's everywhere.
	Everywhere.
	But you're not supposed to complain.
	I broke my leg.
	Oh.
	That's it. I'm just doing the rest of the show like this.
	You're just not supposed to complain about it!
	Oh! Because, you know, that's one thing that women seem to have an enormous difficulty with, is complaining.
	I mean, just getting women to complain, I mean, it's impossible.
	It's like trying to get men to not complain.
	That's great! You're not supposed to complain about it!
	Okay, sorry. I'll be back.
	I'll be back. I think I just peed myself a little bit.
	It's okay. I was a little chilly on the legs.
	So yeah, just, you know, you're not supposed to complain about it, you know?
	And the idea is sacrifice their own needs and wants for their children's and family's well-being.
	So, oh my god.
	Ooh. Ooh.
	My God. My God.
	Sacrifice your own needs.
	So women who choose a husband, who choose a boyfriend, who choose to get pregnant, who choose to go to term, who choose to keep the baby...
	Suddenly, it is a giant sacrifice of their own needs and self-interest to take care of the baby that they themselves chose to have and to keep.
	It's just a massive self-sacrifice, you know.
	But you're not supposed to complain about it.
	Stefan looks like he fell asleep for an hour in Arizona.
	Oh yeah, I am a basically blue-eyed tomato at this point.
	Yeah, no question. No question.
	See, you know what it's like?
	It's like if you buy a dog, like you go out and you voluntarily buy a dog, and you decide to keep that dog, and you know, you've got to get up early, you've got to take the dog for a walk, occasionally you've got to take the dog for a vet, and you say, I'm just sacrificing all of my needs and pleasures for this dog, and I... But you're not supposed to complain about it.
	It's like you chose the damn dog.
	What's the matter with you? What is the matter with you?
	What is your major estrogen malfunction, ladies, that you would look at this beautiful life that you have created and burst forth from your loins and fed with your dirty pillows and, my God, like, what is your major malfunction that you would look at this gorgeous, brainy, genius creature that you've created out of nothing, apparently out of resentment and fast food, if...
	You look at that child and you say, somehow me choosing to raise the next generation is a giant sacrifice of my needs and my preferences and I can't have what I want.
	What is the matter with you?
	You know that men in their 40s are in their sexual marketplace value prime because they're young enough.
	To still father more children.
	And they have a lot of money, usually a decent amount of money because they've worked hard.
	So for a woman who's now post-fertility, let's say 45, the woman is post-fertility, her face is falling like pants on a Benny Hill show, and she's got nothing, right?
	As far as sexual market value goes, right?
	She's over the hill, she's dried up, she's right.
	And just no harm, no fouls, just the way that life works and it's different when you're 20, right?
	And men are, right? A man in his mid-40s can, if he's got reasonable resources, can go and date just about anybody.
	And so for a man, can you imagine me in my mid-40s, right, married to my wife, 10 years, raising a child together, and I sit there and say, well, you know, I could just go date anyone.
	And I am just surrendering all of my self-interest.
	I'm sacrificing all of the people I could date and sleep with.
	I chose to be married.
	I chose to be monogamous.
	I love being monogamous.
	The idea... Can you imagine?
	Go to your wife and you say, Honey, I just...
	I've got to tell you something.
	I gotta be honest with you, you know, I'm not supposed to complain about this, but honey, I just, I need you to appreciate I could sleep with the entire Dallas Cowboys cheerleader team.
	I am sacrificing my base lusty desire to seed spray like Old Faithful.
	To just go out and spray and pray and make all the children and have all the sex in the known universe with all of the fresh, rosy-cheeked, supple-loined young goddesses of this planet.
	And I am, I am, I'm sacrificing.
	I'm sacrificing all of that sexual possibility.
	I'm giving up on my needs.
	Just, just to, because I'm trapped with you.
	I'm trapped with you. I just, I can't, I can't take my private jet and scoop up all of the fertile women with a giant claw from the sky, put them on my Epstein shagrug wall-to-wall playing Sade morning, noon and night with lava lamps and strange scented oils and Massage, lotions.
	I can't do any of that.
	I'm trapped and sacrificing all of my needs, which is to go and bed everything with half a pulse and one cuticle.
	I'm just giving all of that up because I'm trapped with you.
	Oh, my God.
	Oh, my God.
	Oh, man. I mean, this is what I hate about this perspective, that a woman is going to look at a child and the child will read that shit in her eyes.
	I'm telling you, a child will read that shit in her eyes.
	A woman will look at a child and say in her mind's eye, scrolling like text on LEDs in Times Square, just scrolling there, I could have been so much more except for you.
	I could have got so much more from what I wanted out of life except for you.
	You have trapped me in the quicksand of motherhood.
	I could be walking a red carpet.
	I could have a Tony. I could have an Oscar.
	I could have Brad Pitt.
	I could have everything except for you chaining me down.
	God, the loathing, the contempt, the disgust.
	Oh, my little schnauzer.
	My little dog.
	I could be out there. At a disco right now, getting the eyes of buxom young ladies with too much to drink who hopefully haven't stepped out of the movie Hustler.
	I could be out there getting roofied by hot chicks and having my corporate card maxed out.
	But I'm stuck home with you because I'm sacrificing all of my needs and my pleasures because I'm just trapped with a dog!
	Good lord.
	What is... What is wrong with you?
	You get to create a life who loves you.
	You know, last night I was having a great chat with my daughter.
	It was pretty late though. She's a bit of a night owl like me.
	And I said, we've already got to get to bed.
	She's like, oh, five more minutes of chatting, five more minutes of chatting.
	I have a spine with the world.
	I have no spine with my daughter. And so I said, no, no, we've got to get to bed.
	So this morning I woke up and she's like, Let's go to brunch.
	Like, absolutely, let's go to brunch, right?
	Let's go to brunch, right? And then we went to brunch and we rolled around town doing a couple of things.
	And just, oh, what a...
	I am so privileged to have this person in my life.
	I'm immensely privileged.
	There's no limitation of my freedom, my joy, my happiness, any of that.
	To be married, to be a father.
	There's no sacrifice.
	There's no negatives. There's no diminishment of my options.
	This is exactly what I wanted.
	This is exactly what I knew I was going to be great at.
	I'm a great husband. I'm a great dad.
	And I love every minute of it.
	And the idea that there's some big sacrifice that I'm putting all of my own needs aside.
	God! It's a vile, vile thought.
	It's a vile thought that you look at a child that you've created and say, I could be so much more if it wasn't for you.
	If it wasn't for you pulling me down, dragging me back.
	I could be the Tarantella Queen of Spain if it wasn't for you and your needs.
	What a shitty thing to even imply to a kid.
	And they get it. They get it.
	They get it. That's awful.
	Well, and of course, this is sadly how their own mothers probably treated them, and this is what they think motherhood is, and they think this is how it works, and oh, it's just awful.
	Absolutely beyond terrible and awful.
	Similar situation happened to me.
	I had low self-esteem. Yeah, you've got to be wanted, treasured.
	Yeah, I mean, I will say to my daughter at least once a month, and she's embarrassed, I say...
	What a... I'm a lucky guy.
	I have exactly the kid I wanted.
	I would change nothing about my wife.
	I would change nothing about my daughter.
	They're just perfect and wonderful the way they are.
	And there's no limitation in my pleasures.
	Come on. It's ridiculous.
	Ridiculous. Combined with workplace expectation to be productive.
	Yeah, boy, isn't that rough?
	The workplace expects you to be productive.
	Combined with the reality of gravity.
	It's like, yeah, where's the shocker?
	Workplace expectation to be productive.
	It's no wonder many feel as though they're failing on multiple fronts.
	See, this is the thing too.
	So if a man feels like he's failing on multiple fronts, then the society will say to him, yeah, you are.
	So pick a lane and do it well.
	But when women who are taking on too much, who are doing too much, who are overextended, overstressed, overwhelmed, and they say, well, I'm failing on multiple fronts, society should.
	It never will. It never will.
	I accept that now. But society should say, well, yeah, you are failing on multiple fronts because you can't be two places at once.
	You can't do everything well. So, you know, pull back on the work and spend time with your kids.
	Because here's the thing, man.
	You know, parenting is one thing and one thing only.
	It's pay me now or pay me later. It's all it is.
	Pay me now or pay me later.
	That's all it is. So I've got three kids all under the age of six years old, and I spend 40 hours a week at work.
	It's like, okay, well, all that money you've saved, you'll then have to pay on therapy or lawyers or bailing out from prison or drug rehab or whatever, right?
	Or STD treatments or whatever.
	I mean, oh, look at all this money I made.
	Okay, we'll just hand it to other people as they attempt to fix or contain the broken children you produced.
	Oh, I'm really feeling fulfilled going to work.
	I really feel happy and it's wonderful for me to go to work and I feel...
	Fulfilled and I'm not dependent.
	It's like, okay, well, then your kids are just going to go off the rails because they're going to hit their teen years and they're going to get the peer horizontal orientation and the peers are going to matter to them way more than their parents.
	And the parents are going to say, well, you've got to listen to me.
	And the kids are going to say, I wanted you home with me, mom, when I was little and it would have really mattered, but you didn't listen to me, so why the hell should I listen to you now?
	You didn't listen to me when I was three, and I wanted you home.
	And I wanted a calm and relaxed household, and I didn't want you looking at me like freaking lasers burning two holes of frustrated, irrational, toddler-like resentment at me for not somehow for standing between you and some imaginary Louis Vuitton handbag.
	You didn't listen to me, Mom.
	Why would I listen to you? Well, because I'm going to tell you how to live and I'm going to tell you what the right decisions are to make.
	It's like, well, you turn me loose on strangers and my peers.
	And now you're concerned that I get my information from my peers in 4chan.
	It's like, well, you don't have the bond.
	You don't have the bond with your kids because you went off to work.
	You went on and you resented and you felt overstressed.
	Right? Tell me if this has happened to you.
	Hit me with a why. Hit me with a why, my friends.
	Hit me with a why. If you just wanted things to slow down when you were a kid, you wanted things to be less frantic, you wanted everyone to be less busy, less stressed, less stretched, less overwhelmed, you just wanted some freaking relaxing down time.
	You know, I mean, my daughter and I the other day, She's reading a series of books.
	And I sat down and I just started...
	We put a hammock up and we just sat in the hammock reading her book, talking about her book for like, I don't know, two or three hours.
	It was really just great.
	It was really nice.
	Because this hyper-accelerated, everyone's discontented, everyone's unhappy, everyone's overwhelmed.
	It's terrible. It's absolutely...
	Terrible. Yeah, a lot of people, right?
	I was raised by the weaponized autism of 4chan, yeah.
	You've got to slow down.
	I really strongly remember when I was a kid, the times when my mother and I, she would, you know, I don't know, she'd bathe on Sunday, I don't know, noon or something like that.
	And we'd have the papers and I'd have the comic books and we'd just sit there lying on a couch, ray of sunshine coming in from the apartment window and maybe there'd be a little bit of sort of scratchy AM classical music or piano on the radio.
	I just really, really remember just that feeling of calm and quiet and peace.
	And I was like, you know, it's rare, unfortunately, because a lot of, you know, what I remember most of all about those times is, you know, my mom would have to get up early and it was always chaos and disorganization and she couldn't find her bus fare, she couldn't find her purse, she couldn't find her key and she'd be like storming up and down these hardwood floors in her high heels and just like all over the place and,
	you know, all of that and then we'd get up and there'd be not enough food to eat and there'd be no, we'd have to bring cash in every day to pay for our lunch and If we didn't have cash, we got a little rubber band on our wrist to point out that we were poor and we're supposed to bring more the next day.
	And just, yeah, just chaos, mess.
	I'll never forget my mother in tears year after year at tax time, says, blackest bills.
	After paying all year, my parents always owed more.
	Yeah. Yeah.
	You never happened in your childhood.
	You never had just that calm, relaxing, peaceful time.
	My mom was too relaxed. She just laid on the effing bed every evening and then got pissed when I tried to watch TV. Well, but that's not time with you.
	That's being overwhelmed by everything or short-circuiting about everything and all of that, right?
	But yeah, it's...
	I mean, take pleasure in your children's company.
	My God, you had them.
	I mean, you've created life.
	You've created thought. You've created reason.
	I mean, love.
	I mean, love your children.
	So, Susan Young, single mother running her own business in Vancouver while caring for her eight-year-old son, who has autism spectrum disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
	Single mother running her own business while caring for an eight-year-old son.
	When absolutely everything is your responsibility, there's no way to feel like you're doing all of it well.
	To be honest, most of the time there's the feeling of doing none of it well at all.
	So again, when a man complains, everybody says, suck it up and do better.
	When a woman complains, nobody ever says, yeah, you're right.
	You're going to have to make some tough choices here.
	It's always like, oh no, you're doing everything great, honey.
	It's tough for everyone. You can't, right?
	Okay, so what is the solution?
	Is it for women to do less?
	Is it for women to make more rational decisions?
	Well, no, of course not. Because, you see, the women are a fixed flagpole that everybody else has to dance around, so to speak, right, to mix my phallic analogies.
	So what are mothers to do?
	People say, these experts, the solution lies in reframing the question.
	Do they need to juggle all this?
	Do we want them to juggle?
	Says Dr. Madigan, I actually think that we shouldn't ask moms to do more.
	I think we need to ask the people around moms to step up.
	In other words, after spending 10 to 12 hours a day As a doctor or a construction worker, the man needs to come home and do housework.
	Clearly, that's the answer.
	That is the solution.
	It's not that women need to change anything.
	It's that everybody else needs to peddle harder to support these bad situations, right?
	And of course, it's always solutions, always socialism, communism, that kind of stuff, right?
	Countries like Denmark prioritize school and daycare openings recognizing parents and particularly the mother's employment depended on childcare provisions.
	Get the tax cattle out there into the marketplace, drive down the male wages, break the continuation of culture, kill the transmission of values and so on.
	By contrast, the U.S. bars and gyms were allowed to open in certain jurisdictions while schools and daycares remained closed.
	Yeah, but you can't get the teachers back into school.
	Largely female teachers, you cannot get them back into school.
	Just cut. Women and illness, I mean, that's a whole other show.
	Do you ever grow up with a female hypochondriac in the family or somebody who was overly concerned with getting ill?
	Anybody? Just hit me with a Y if you grew up with this, you know, a dad who barely went to the doctor and a mom who thought she was about to die every weekend.
	So, yeah, step up.
	Try and compensate for my flaws, yeah.
	Just crazy. So they want access to quality, affordable mental health services, widespread recognition of the value of caregiving, and the encouragement to speak frankly about their struggles without fear of blame or judgment.
	So to complain without anyone ever saying you have some responsibility in your life.
	That's what they want. I want to complain, but I don't want anyone to ever say you have some responsibility for your life choices.
	I mean, good Lord.
	Good Lord. So we want free mental health services, widespread recognition of the value of caregiving.
	Okay, who's ever said that mothers don't matter?
	I mean, who's ever said that?
	If you want widespread recognition of the value of caregiving, maybe stop propagandizing women to give up their kids for three bucks an hour to be raised by strangers so that they can go and push Excel spreadsheets nine hours a day, right?
	Encouragement to speak frankly about their struggles without fear of blame or judgment.
	So I want to complain without anybody holding me accountable or giving me responsibility or telling me that I have made choices and the choice to have a child and to keep a child is, you know, pretty irrevocable.
	I mean, you can obviously drop them off at a hospital or a fire station.
	By the way, they're not fire engines.
	They're actually water engines. Anyway, I wish to be able to complain but not to have anybody hold me accountable or responsible for any of my life choices.
	So I don't know what that is.
	That's just a form of erasing other people.
	I want to pour out endless reams of vomiting complaints, but I never want anybody to ever provide any kind of solution.
	You just got to listen. It's like, okay, so this is just kind of abusive and exploitive, right?
	You're just dumping on me.
	You're just like, I'm your poison container.
	I'm like, don't ever tell me that I could do anything different.
	It's like, okay, so then why on earth would I listen to you complain if nothing's going to change, right?
	It's like somebody, like how often or how long would you listen to someone complain about being fat if they openly told you they were never going to change their diet or exercise habits?
	Because the whole point for men is, yeah, it's fine, complain away, but be prepared for some solutions and some responsibility.
	So if the woman says, well, I'm just giving up all of my needs for my children, it's like, no, no, that's entirely the wrong perspective.
	That's an abusive perspective.
	Your children are a burden that somehow are preventing you from having a good life.
	What a terrible thing. And again, all you have to do is say to women, and again, none of this will ever happen logically, right?
	All you do is say to women, okay, well, if your husband came to you and said, you are standing between me and a happy life, You know, being with you means I have to give up everything that I want and love in my life.
	I mean, how would you feel? Oh, I'd feel terrible, like you didn't love me.
	It's like, hello! Welcome to your kid's life.
	Your husband's there by choice, your kid's aren't.
	Again, you can't. It's never going to happen.
	This is why I give up.
	I'm reading this stuff and I'm like, I give up, right?
	I want free stuff, no judgment, and I want to be praised all the time.
	In Toronto, first-time mother Molly DeHan found herself crying every day for the first six months of her son's life, daunted by the uncertainties of bringing up a baby amid the pandemic.
	Seeing her doctor for antidepressants made a huge difference, she said, as it helped her go with the flow.
	She also quit comparing herself to other mothers and societal expectations of a perfect mother.
	Okay, so society seems to be, like, unable to criticize women who dump their babies with strangers so that they can go and make very little money doing unpleasant jobs.
	Like, perfect mother, what are you talking about?
	Like, even getting women to want to spend time with their kids as a whole seems to be a bridge too far.
	Where's this perfect mother thing?
	Yeah. With her son now nearly 15 months old, she recognized she became a mother under an exceptional circumstance.
	She's confident. She's a good mom, she said, and she's doing her best.
	Mothers need to talk about this because that's really where it starts.
	Not putting up a facade of being able to do it all.
	Admitting that it's impossible is really the first step.
	Okay, good. That's good for her.
	It's impossible. You know what's not mentioned here at all?
	Father... Husband?
	Somebody else to help her take care?
	Right? So she doesn't have, it seems, I don't know if it is the case, certainly nothing's mentioned.
	And the only thing that's mentioned about fathers here is that they don't contribute, they don't help out with the household, right?
	So, well, anyway, I mean, free money for women is like free sex for men, right?
	If the government delivered hookers to men, to bachelors, right, it would really devalue women.
	And the fact that the government forces men to pay for moms and kids who want their own just devalues men.
	So, yeah, it's a very, very artificial situation.
	It's a very, very artificial situation.
	So... Alright, listen, thanks for your patience.
	I just wanted to go over that. Like, I'm not going to try and I'm not going to do this responsibility thing anymore.
	And if I do, if I slip, you know, just let me know.
	But yeah, I'm not going to do this stuff anymore.
	It's never going to happen. It's just...
	We're too hardwired to please women.
	We're too hardwired to not...
	Tell women. And of course, what happens if you hold women accountable or responsible?
	They just cry and it doesn't matter because they'll just, you know, they'll go online and say, oh, somebody said this, that, and the other.
	And everyone's like, oh, you go, girl.
	You're so strong. You're brave and stunning.
	And the guys, all the simps will like, oh, you know, wonderful, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	They can always get the drug.
	They can always get the drug of approval.
	And because you and I don't live in that world as men, we just don't live in that world where you get upset about something and everybody rushes to give you free stuff.
	We just don't live in that world.
	We don't. You know, can you imagine men saying, well, you know, my wages have kind of stagnated, it's kind of tough to find work, and the family court system is really unjust towards men, brutal towards men, and everyone's saying, oh my god, we have to sit down as a society and fix this problem.
	Like, we don't know what that's like.
	We'll never understand what that's like, foundationally.
	Like, we'll never understand. It's like, why are there no homeless women?
	Because women can always trade sex for a place to stay, right?
	Women can always land on their backs, right?
	Again, this is nothing negative towards women.
	It's just the facts of life.
	No hate, no hostility, love, respect.
	Women are wonderful. But the idea that you can hand the male levels of responsibility, which are too much, right?
	Men take on too much and we're, you know, The fact that we provide for our families and that that's completely invisible and unless we're doing exactly half the housework and paying for 80% of the bills, then we're just not equal, right?
	Like this girl, like if I'm not doing 47 hours and she's only doing 7, right?
	If it's only 40 and she's only doing 14 hours, that's just totally unequal.
	Like, it's just never going to change.
	And I'm, you know, like the new Soviet man that's never going to exist.
	Communism doesn't work. So I think, you know, this is me just sort of, you know, okay, well, I listen to women saying we want to be treated equal to a man and we want the same level of rights as a man and we want the same level of everything as a man.
	It's like, well, no, not really.
	No, no. I mean, and I... No negative stuff here.
	It's really, really important to me that everybody understand this.
	No negative stuff. If I were in women's position, I would do the same thing.
	Of course. And so would you.
	I could be honest, right? Let's be honest.
	If you could get free stuff and massive amounts of resources by complaining, well, whatever you subsidize, you get more of.
	So if you could be overwhelmed and people would give you $5,000 a month?
	Wouldn't you be overwhelmed to get $5,000 a month?
	Well, sure. Well, sure you would.
	So we just don't know what it's like for our upset to be the gravity by which everybody else just clusters around and aligns themselves and gives us resources.
	We don't know what it is. As men, if we're upset, people just step over us.
	And they're like, oh, what's the matter with you?
	Can't hack it.
	Can't get it. Be a man. Step up.
	Stand up. Get a guy up. What's the matter with you, right?
	And... We don't know what it's like to have this kind of power.
	What's that old thing when Joe Biden and Barack Obama signed Obamacare into law and Joe Biden said, wow, look at that.
	Stroke of the pen, law of the land.
	Isn't that wild? We don't know what that's like to write something down and have it enforced at gunpoint across a country of hundreds of billions of people.
	We just don't know. We don't know what it's like to have that kind of power.
	And most of us, almost all of us, never will.
	So I don't know what it's like to have lots of people want to just take me out and buy me things and all that.
	I don't know. I don't know what it's like to be upset and have endless amounts of sympathy and resources and care and concern and all of that just...
	Thrown at me, right? I mean, the number of insults sort of thrown at me for telling some reasonable scientific and personal truths online.
	I mean, I'm not allowed to be overwhelmed.
	I'm not allowed to, you know, when people are being mean to me on the internet, cry, cry, cry, you know, we need legislation that says nobody can say anything mean about me.
	Just can't...
	We don't know.
	We don't know. And it's never going to change.
	Biological imperatives are biological imperatives.
	So really good-looking insecure guys who go on Twitter and go, I'm depressed, I'm so lonely, and boom, stampede.
	Yeah, I get the alpha guys, yeah, they get all of that, but the women are doing that because they hope to keep him, right?
	So the men are usually pursuing the hot girls, not necessarily with the goal of keeping, but rather, you know, sleeping with and moving on.
	So... Oh, gay guys, not alpha straights?
	Oh, yeah. So I remember when I was doing my master's degree, I lived in a house with a couple of gay guys, and one guy moved in.
	He'd come from another town, and he was a ballet dancer, and he was a young, good-looking guy, a ballet dancer.
	And he was like the predation, the focus and the grooming, so to speak.
	He was an adult, but still very young.
	This is the gay community.
	There's tentacles and just, oh, my God.
	Yeah, it's crazy. All right.
	Let's do a little bit of, yeah, a couple of minutes.
	Sorry, I said I would, so I will.
	I'll keep my word this time, right?
	So thank you for your patience with all of that.
	And again, lots of love.
	Women are wonderful. But for me, and I'm not telling everybody else what to do, right?
	But for me, it's like, yeah, I'm just, I give up.
	Like, I'm just, this responsibility thing's never going to happen.
	Never going to happen. Never going to work.
	And, you know, for me, I just want to make my decisions.
	And this is probably the last one I'm going to be doing.
	But You know, maybe one more.
	And hey, we got some giggles out of it, right?
	Okay, so I will post a telegram link to a question or two if you would like.
	Should men wait until at least early 30s for marriage?
	No. As soon as you get the right person, lock it down.
	There's no deal that way, right?
	I mean, just as soon as you get the right person, just lock her down.
	Any more thoughts on McAfee?
	No, not really. Sorry, I don't know too much about the guy's life, so I don't really have anything in particular of value to bring to that conversation.
	Alright, let's just see here.
	Yeah, okay, so I'll throw the chat in here.
	And let's do it.
	Let's do it. And unmute.
	I am live.
	And let me just get the old invitey link here.
	And we'll do a question or two.
	If you have questions, if not, we can...
	And it's a little earlier.
	Share and buy link. There we go.
	All right. So, yeah, I'm going to put this in here, and you are welcome to join in.
	Just don't forget to unmute thyself, you magnificent debaterds.
	Can you shout out my wife, Emma, please?
	I certainly can.
	Hi, Emma. I loved you and Jane Austen.
	Seth, as a Christian, I'm proud of you for forgiving your mom and understanding that women do what is profitable for them.
	Yeah? Yeah, no issues, no hate, no foul.
	Let's see here. Sticks was saying he was apparently a very egotistical and staunch supporter of free speech.
	Do you think estimates for psychopaths and sociopaths in society are woefully underestimated?
	Yes, I do. I do, I do, I do, I do.
	I'm a former baiter and dating was tortured.
	It wasn't until I gained confidence that I met better women.
	Yeah, for sure. I'm going to do...
	I'm working on this, by the way.
	I'm going to do a whole series on how to find a great wife.
	Whole series, man. It's going to be beautiful and immensely helpful.
	I guarantee it. I guarantee it.
	All your money back. Freedomain.com forward slash donate.
	If you'd like to help out, I'd appreciate it.
	All right. I am listening.
	If you've got something for me, unmute.
	Bellow in my ear.
	Make me struttle. Anything.
	Anything. I almost feel vaguely bad if nobody wants to talk to me.
	It's fine if you don't do it for that reason.
	It's just kind of funny, right? Sure.
	Maybe quickly to push back maybe on the idea that women are supposed to be great at picking quality men.
	Is it possible, do you think, that maybe for a lot of our humanities history or prehistory, for thousands, maybe millions of years, women have not had that much of a say in terms of who they married?
	And so, due to those brutal conditions, Their sense of who to marry just kind of went haywire, dysgenically, because it didn't really matter what they thought.
	Well, no, no, no, it matters.
	Oh my gosh, it absolutely matters.
	And so we've got to go for high IQ societies to low IQ societies.
	So high IQ societies...
	The children take forever to mature, right?
	Low IQ societies, different matter, right?
	It's just talking about the high IQ societies, high IQ situations.
	The kids just take forever.
	They take forever to learn how to walk.
	They take forever to learn how to roll over.
	They take forever to learn. And, you know, that which is more complex takes longer to develop.
	And in the West, among whites, I think it's even more so among whites.
	East Asians, like white babies, learn how to roll over and walk sooner than East Asian babies.
	But East Asian babies, the brain keeps developing past the white scenario, which is why they end up with slightly higher IQs and certainly better spatial reasoning, which is why the East Asian engineer and computer programmer is a cliche that has some truth, biological reality behind it.
	So if you're talking about Reasonably high IQ societies, you got a quarter century until the man reaches full brain maturation.
	I think it's a little bit longer for East Asian men.
	And so you need – if you're going to have the society continue and have its values accumulate and be transmitted – Then the women need to be motivated in some manner to invest in the children to the point where they're going to transfer those values.
	Otherwise, there's no point creating the values, right?
	Any more than this. Any point having a lot of money when you die, if you know your kids are just going to blow it or whatever, right?
	You might as well blow it yourself before you die and have fun with it.
	So you need women to be invested and motivated to take care of the children.
	Now, if you just had, I don't know, some totally arranged marriage scenario and you just, you know, women were just raped as sort of spoils of war and so on, then the women would have precious little investment in their offspring or they may even view their offspring with hostility or suspicion or hatred maybe even, in which case the cultural then the women would have precious little investment in their offspring or they may even view their offspring All that's going to be transmitted is trauma.
	So for the societies where there's been significant development in the world, then you have to have women invested in the offspring and therefore they have to have at least some choice in who they marry or if that choice is not given to them for whatever reason, they have to believe that that's for the best and then you have to have women invested in the offspring and therefore they have to have at least some choice in who they marry or So I hope that helps a little in terms of how it plays out.
	Now, I mean, among, I think the lowest IQ group is the pygmies, right?
	The IQ is in the 50s or whatever.
	Yeah, then, you know, the children don't get much investment from the parents.
	It's all, you know, there's no particular development in the society as a whole, right?
	I mean, just basically doing the same thing for the last couple of hundred thousand years, right?
	Until they meet the Western diet, in which case they get diabetes, right?
	So you wouldn't want to, I guess, confuse the pygmies with, say, the Japanese, right, in terms of parental investment in the children.
	And you can't get the parental investment if the women feel like, you know, worth chattel or they're raped or forced to marry or whatever.
	whatever they just won't invest in the kids and the society won't advance if that makes sense all right maybe it makes sense maybe Maybe it won't. Sorry, go ahead.
	So this is kind of interesting that I've been thinking about on this is where the environment, I mean, evolutionary things have kind of changed where people used to have utility in kids, but now it's more of a long investment just for your genetic future and not so much for your economic one.
	And I think Dr.
	Dutton was talking about this a little bit, too, where I think he was calling them super breeders or whatever, where you're genetically prone to want to have kids.
	And the people who used to have kids for reasons of the past that no longer exist are no longer having them.
	And that's basically being phased out for people who genetically actually want to have kids or have some level of reasoning or just like the lower IQs, just having kids because they can't not have them.
	I was wondering if you were a copy of that at all.
	Yeah, there certainly is some validity, I think.
	And again, these are all generalities that are, you know, risky at the extremes, but...
	So if you look at the left and the right, so the right, which is generally associated with conservatism, with Christianity and so on, so the right have children because go forth and multiply, be fruitful, right?
	It's kind of a commandment and so on, right?
	And so they will have a lot of kids, and they have, you know, Protestant women have the best sex life on the planet, apparently, right?
	So they have pair bonding, great sex lives, a lot of kids.
	And the marriage is a mechanism by which the children are educated, trained, protected from outsiders, and the transmission of the value of the sacrifice of Jesus and God's love and the virtues of Christianity are there.
	And so there's a celebration of life, and it's very pro-natal and very pro-life as a whole, right?
	Now on the other side you have the secular humanists, the materialists, those who are more addicted to sex rather than procreation.
	And what they will do is they much prefer that sex is the goal, not sex is the glue that holds the family together and produces the children, but sex itself is the goal.
	And although this is more of our selected side, they tend to have higher sex drives, be more promiscuous, but they don't really want the responsibility of raising the kids.
	They're more rabbits than wolves, so to speak, as far as that goes.
	And this, of course, has created a great imbalance in society because the Christians and the case selected will tend to outbreed The leftists, the socialists, the are selected people.
	And so this is why on the left you have this mass focus on mass immigration because they replace ideologically.
	They basically, the immigrants are people that will vote for the left that they can bring in without the bother of having to raise themselves.
	Whereas, of course, the Christian right will raise people who will vote for smaller government and more conservative values, lower taxes and so on.
	And they go through the trouble of raising, so it's a lot easier to just import people than it is to raise kids, which is a lot of work, a lot of time, investment, and so on.
	And so I think that aspect of things is a real problem.
	If you can't replace your diminished fertility or fecundity with mass immigration, you're going to be outbred by the Christians and end up as a minority, whereas, of course, with the mass immigration, and we know that in America...
	Whites are a minority for the under-25 set, right?
	So with mass immigration, you can bring people in who are going to support your political base without the expense, difficulty, and, quote, sacrifice of having and raising kids in the values that you prefer, if that makes sense.
	That makes sense. It's kind of interesting.
	It doesn't seem like anyone's really talking about internal migration, because it seems like It's really, really easy for them to ruin an area.
	And then let's just say California, because it seems like there's a lot of Californians moving all over the country now to Republican areas.
	And then they go out and...
	But they bring their Californian values with them.
	So I think there's like, it's a twofold thing of you do have this foreign immigration, but you also have migration out of bad areas that have been corrupted by the socialist practices, but no one ever really reconsiders that and they just keep on voting for the same things that made places worse.
	I mean, I hear what you're saying.
	I don't mean to diminish it.
	It's kind of a typical analysis.
	So you're going to move to where there's less crime, right?
	So you're going to try and move from lower IQ areas to higher IQ areas.
	But because immigration is a federal matter, it's not like you just move out of California because you voted for bad politicians.
	It's because the demographics of California have massively changed.
	And so you'll move to a place where the demographics are more like California used to be.
	But there's really not much that you can do in terms of like whether Texas becomes more like California because as the demographics of Texas change, it's going to become more like California.
	And Texas can't set up its own internal borders as far as I understand it.
	So I don't know that it's just a matter of, well, they'll just come to Texas and vote the same policies.
	The policies that would need to change, which was the great hope of the people who voted for Trump, was that the mass immigration would be put on hold or at least diminished to a significant degree because you know what happens is that you get the immigrants will come to a location and the high IQ people will eventually try and leave that situation and then they'll kind of be followed by the people who want more resources and it's easier to vote than to make and That's how it spreads.
	I don't think it's necessarily just a policy thing.
	I think it's more important to look at the demographics, but that's just my particular thought on it.
	Good. All right.
	Thanks. Thanks, man. Appreciate it.
	All right. I'm going to do one or two more questions, if you like.
	Don't forget to unmute if you have a question.
	And I will put in the invite as a whole.
	Yes, sir. Oh, it's just a tease.
	Hey, Steph. How are you doing?
	Good, how are you? I'm well, thank you.
	The audio isn't working on your DLive channel.
	Oh, is that right?
	I can't hear the stuff on Telegram.
	Oh, okay, hang on. I'm sorry about that.
	I'm not sure exactly how to do that.
	Let me just see here. Yeah, it's all going the same way.
	I don't know why it's not working on DLive.
	I've got a whole...
	I didn't normally used to use Zoom.
	I used to use XSplitter, but my new mixer isn't recognized by anything except Zoom on Windows.
	So sorry, people will have to listen to this after.
	I'm sorry about that, but go ahead.
	Oh, is that all you wanted to say?
	That's fine if you did. Yeah, that was it.
	Okay, thanks. All right, let's do one more cue.
	Yeah, we've got two hours, right?
	Sorry, go ahead. If anybody wants to jump in, please do jump in.
	Yeah, real quick. Go ahead, Steph.
	Hi. Yeah.
	You and I did a call in back last year in January.
	I was wondering if you would still have the file.
	When was it? Late January of 2020.
	Okay. Yeah, I will have a look, and I'm a little bit behind on, well, I guess that's a lot behind since a year and a half or whatever, right?
	So thank you for the note.
	I will take a look for that and see what I've got.
	Yeah, sure, okay. Thank you.
	Thank you. And apologies for the delay.
	All right. Anyone else?
	Question, comments, issues?
	No question. Yes, sir. Okay, let me grab my notebook.
	I wrote it down beforehand. I like the organization.
	It's not a long one. Yeah, I really need to ask you this.
	Okay, so it's kind of a big topic, but I try to dilute it down into what I need to know right now.
	So I've been reading RTR, right?
	Oh, for those who don't know, that's Real-Time Relationships.
	There's a free book available at freedomain.com, but sorry, go ahead.
	Okay. Well, I've been reading RTR, and I've been listening to you for about five years.
	I've spoke to you before. I was the guy who was trying to get out of the bad city, and my subconscious was kind of telling me to get out.
	I don't know if you remember that, but anywho.
	Basically, I'm at a point in my life where I've gotten all the bad people out of my life, and it's pretty much just me as of right now.
	Basically, I've been reading through the last section of RTR, and I'm trying to get to the practical application of Of doing RTR and trying to really get in contact with my emotions and I don't know exactly how to put this.
	I guess I asked you in your D-Lab chat a while back about the process you went through in your, I think your early 30s, right?
	Where you basically, where you went to Morocco and you basically just, you let your unconscious kind of, I don't know, like have its way with you.
	You know what I mean? Like you just kind of let it, you let it do its thing.
	And I've kind of been focusing on when I do RTR, I'm noticing that I'm less concerned with trying to manage how people are talking to me and experiencing me.
	I'm becoming much more of an observer.
	You know what I mean?
	Like it's the whole axiom of instead of this person must act this way to me becomes I wonder how this person will act to me, right?
	Right, yeah.
	It's being empirical rather than dictatorial, right?
	And it's a scientific rather than, say, theological approach, right?
	So the scientific approach is...
	So, I mean, just to take an example, Galileo with his bowling ball and his orange at the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, right?
	So according to, I think it was Aristotle, the bowling ball is going to fall faster and the orange is going to fall and slower.
	And Galileo's like, hey, I wonder if that's true, rather than, well, it just has to be true or it is true or whatever, God dictated it that way.
	And so he went to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, he dropped a bowling ball, he dropped an orange, and they...
	They both fell down at the same speed.
	And that was pretty foundational to understanding of gravity and kind of counterintuitive.
	So with people, you don't try and control how they treat you.
	I mean, you can certainly tell them what you prefer and, you know, don't be completely opaque and nobody knows what you want or anything, but you tell people what you want.
	And they either choose to provide gravity.
	What you want or not.
	Or they could choose to insult you for providing what you want.
	And being curious about people rather than trying to control people is the surest path to become happy.
	Because as long as you think you can control people, then you will imagine you have a power that you don't have.
	If you think you can fly and you can't, you're going to jump off a roof and break your leg.
	And if you think you have a power that you don't have, Bad things are going to happen in life because reality punishes delusion all the time.
	So don't imagine that you can control other people, see how they behave, see how that makes you feel, make your decisions accordingly, while, of course, being open and honest about what you prefer, if that makes sense.
	Yeah, and people know, too.
	I mean, even the dumbest person that you meet can tell when you're trying to control them.
	Oh yeah, and they will resist that.
	And actually, you never really get to know people as long as you're trying to control them.
	It's the old thing in science that you know, what is it, the position of the electron or the direction, but you can't know both because the moment you try and measure it, you change it or something like that.
	So you want to see people in their natural state.
	You don't want to see them in a zoo of your own totalitarian control.
	See how people are without you trying to control them.
	If a woman has a drunk for a boyfriend and she thinks that she can turn him into a non-drunk, she's going to waste a lot of time trying to control his behavior.
	And that's Bad.
	As soon as she recognizes that she cannot control his behavior, she can tell him what she wants.
	She can empirically see whether he will or will not provide it to her.
	Whether he can or can't is not particularly important, right?
	And then she can make her decision accordingly.
	But as long as she's like, well, if I nag him enough or I tell him enough or I beg him enough or I whatever, love him enough, he'll change.
	It's like, no, no, that's not how reality works, right?
	You... And people don't like being controlled.
	And the moment you are controlled, it changes your behavior.
	You can't ever, ever be close to someone you're trying to control.
	You can't ever get to know them because all they're doing is responding to your sense of control.
	Right. And you're not going to like yourself if you're trying to control people either.
	That's kind of another unconscious thing that's going on as well.
	Well, it can't be universalized.
	It's a UPB thing, right?
	It's more like aesthetically preferable actions, but we all know how much we dislike it when other people try to control us.
	So the idea – it's a lack of empathy, right?
	If you know how much you dislike being controlled, then you will recognize that other people aren't going to like it either.
	And so instead of picking people and trying to change them into what you want – Why not just find people who you already like and live with who they are?
	It's kind of like if you want to buy a house, then you don't sit there and just randomly buy a house and then try and turn it into what you want.
	You look until you find the right house.
	You don't sit there and say, well, I'm going to nag this duplex into becoming a mansion or I'm going to nag this condo into becoming a parking garage or something.
	I mean, it just doesn't work that way.
	You just... Don't think you can change everything around you.
	That way you can relax and just look for people who are going to reflect your values and bring pleasure to your life and you'll enjoy their company.
	It's just fantastic. That's the thing that scares the shit out of most people about this whole conversation, even back into 2006.
	It still scares the shit out of me.
	we're basically looking for a needle in a haystack.
	But in that case, you know, like I think I've put it before, you basically just need a really, really big magnet.
	And I said, well, you said something about how doing something like what you do with the show or something that puts out a signal that you're like one of these rare people, one of these rare souls is a good way of trying to put the signal out to other people because there's no doubt there's other people out there looking for other people like me.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, just do something where you can try to be a little bit prominent.
	It doesn't have to be huge, right?
	But something, you know, go give a speech or two, go to Toastmasters, put something out on social media, put something out on a video platform like Rumble or BitChute or Brighteon or Dailymotion or whatever.
	And just find a way of trying to draw people to you.
	Like a rock star doesn't have to ask for dates, so to speak, right?
	And so, yeah.
	And of course, yeah, maybe it is a needle in a haystack for sure, in which case you've got to have your metal detector, right?
	Yeah. How much more minutes do you have?
	Is the time up yet? No, no.
	I can do another question.
	So go ahead. Okay.
	Well, I just wanted to get to the main thing, which is like the practical thing that I need for this right now.
	I'm basically trying to go through this whole process of...
	You called it in one of your...
	What did you call it?
	Called it more of your podcast.
	What was it? It was the anger podcast.
	Yeah. Where you talked about it was like this unconscious awakening where you just kind of feel, you felt your deepest emotions.
	You let them boil up to the surface.
	He mentioned that like he felt bad for anyone who had to undergo this process while holding down a job.
	And I'm one of those unfortunate people who has to undergo this process while holding down a job.
	So I wanted to know what kind of advice do you have for me?
	Well, hang on. I was holding another job when I was going through this process.
	Sure. Oh, okay. In fact, I was chief technical officer of a software company and we were going through being bought out and going public.
	There was a lot going on when I was going through this stuff.
	I'm sorry. I was under the impression that you took time off over the two years to do that thing with a therapist and go through that.
	No, no. I was going to a therapist.
	I was not married. I was not a father.
	But yeah, I had a full-time job for sure.
	Okay. Do you have any advice for someone like me who's trying to go through this process but finds it extremely scary and difficult?
	It's worth it. You know, whatever you want is on the other side of that fear.
	Everything you want is on the other side of that fear.
	And you want people in your life who are courageous, which means that you have to first display the virtue of courage.
	And look, it is a lot of courage.
	It is a lot of courage that it takes.
	If it's any consolation, I didn't have anyone ahead of me.
	Maybe I can be a little bit ahead of people and have broken some of the ice as far as this goes.
	Whatever qualities you wish to attract from anyone around you, you must first display yourself.
	If you want to speak with people who know Japanese, you must first learn Japanese.
	So all of the virtues that you want in those around you, you must first cultivate within yourself.
	And if you want people who are going to not be manipulative, who are going to accept themselves, who are going to have moral courage and virtue, you must first display these things yourself.
	That is the flair that you shoot up that is going to bring people to you.
	So the fear has to be balanced with something.
	The fear has to be balanced with something.
	Otherwise, it's masochistic.
	Like you don't just do things that you fear where there's nothing benefit on the other side, right?
	I mean, I assume that most of us would be frightened to be lowered into a pit of snakes, right?
	Okay, so if you're Indiana Jones and why does it always have to be snakes?
	Okay, but there's something in there that you want so you're willing to overcome your fear.
	So there has to be something that is going to make the fear worthwhile.
	Otherwise, it's just masochistic, right?
	So what is on the other side of that fear?
	Well, what's on the other side of that fear is two things.
	Love and relative invulnerability.
	Love, and these two things are kind of one and the same, right?
	So love and relative invulnerability.
	So tons of people in the world who really hate what it is that I do, for reasons that I would assume are pretty nefarious as a whole.
	But there are people who hate what I do.
	So what they do is they will create terrible stories and lies about me in the hopes, of course, that I will turn upon myself.
	But because I have absorbed and accepted the quote negative parts of me, then there's no ally within me that will take the side of abusive people.
	And so I have a relative, not perfect, a relative invulnerability to these kinds of attacks, which is why I continue to do what I'm doing and I think in some ways I'm doing it even better now than I was in the past.
	And I also have love in my life and friends and my wife and my daughter and so on, right?
	And all of that is kind of bound into the same matrix.
	So what is on the other side?
	Why would you go through something that you fear?
	Why would you fight the dragon? Because there's a treasure.
	Why would you swim to an undersea wreck?
	Because there's a treasure chest.
	So why would you put yourself through this kind of fear?
	Because love and fear are kind of the opposites.
	Like, if you're very afraid, then you can't be alpha, you can't have...
	I mean, you have courage to overcome the fear, but if you surrender to the fear, you can't be loved, and you can't love others.
	Because if you surrender to the fear, people won't respect you enough to love you, and also you won't draw people who've successfully navigated that fear.
	And again, it's a hard thing to do, and I really, really sympathize with your question, and I'm not saying it's easy at all.
	So what's on the other side?
	Because part of courage is knowing what's at stake.
	Part of courage is knowing what's at stake.
	So the risks that I took in talking about very volatile subjects on this show, I didn't do it because I'm masochistic.
	I didn't do it because I wanted to be deplatformed.
	I did it because I recognized the stakes involved in these topics, right?
	And so, you know, the fact that the totalitarians among us wish to use racial conflict to disintegrate the West, okay, that's a pretty high-stakes thing.
	So yeah, I'm going to talk about IQ in the hopes of taking at least one of the weapons of social division and conflict out of their hands.
	Whether it's work or not, we find out over time.
	So that's just the stakes, right?
	So give a man a why.
	This is a very, very famous quote for me, at least, from Nietzsche.
	He said, give a man a why he can bear almost any how.
	So if you have a why that is big enough, you know, if everything that you love is on the top of the mountain, you'll find a way up that mountain.
	This Edmund Hillary bullshit, like, why do you climb Mount Everest?
	Because it's there. I mean, that's just a famous sort of stupid thing that I'm sure it was just said to be kind of clever or whatever, right?
	But if the treasure is on the other side of fear, then you'll find a way through the fear.
	And if you're having trouble getting through the fear, it's because you haven't raised the stakes high enough to make it worthwhile.
	I remember once I was scuba diving in the Dominican Republic and I went swimming and I swam into the hull of a ship.
	Completely stupid.
	Everybody has these things every now and then.
	Where you just look back and you still get a prickle of sweat from me like 35 years later or whatever, right?
	Oh, yeah. And so I swam into the hull of a ship and I realized that the pounding of the waves of the current meant it was very easy to go into the ship.
	It was very hard to get out because the current was coming through the hole in the ship.
	And the ship, of course, completely underwater because it was a sunken ship.
	And so what I had to do was I had to grab the sharp, torn side of the ship and muscle my way through while I was running low on air and then kick my way to the surface, which was, you know, 10 feet above me.
	Now, if you had asked me to just – for shits and giggles to grab a rusty, sharp piece of metal and yank myself through it, I never would have done it because that would be masochistic.
	However, I was probably within 30 seconds of dying and so when I'm in the ship and I figure, oh, I'll just turn around and swim out and I couldn't swim out because the current was pushing the water into the ship too strongly – Then I had to grab and I had a scar for probably 10 years on my arm from pulling myself out and kind of half ripping my arm.
	Then, of course, I'm in a tropical paradise in the water with blood pouring out of my arm and so on.
	So what was on the other side of me pulling myself through that hole in the ship was not dying.
	So of course I didn't even feel it, right?
	I mean, so it wasn't like, oh, look at all the courage I had to pull myself through this narrow, sharp, barnacle-encrusted, rusty metal that cut the hell out of me.
	Well, no, it's like the stakes were so high that it was do that or die.
	And I'm not saying it's like, well, if you don't confront your fears, you'll die, but kind of in a way you will because you won't experience the glories and depths and love of life itself.
	And the self-respect that you get from really confronting your fears and going through to the other side...
	The peace and stillness and power, it's a superpower, right?
	Everybody in the sort of superhero universe and in the theological universe goes through an unbelievable trial of difficulty, danger, horror, you name it.
	And on the other side, they get superpowers, right?
	So Superman, his whole home planet of Krypton, explodes.
	The Joker falls into a vat of chemicals and Batman, his parents get killed.
	I mean, you can just go on and on through all of these heroes.
	They go through some terrible trial, and on the other side, they get superpowers.
	I don't mean to disrespect my Christian friends here, but in the crucifixion, it's on a similar vein, which is you go through actual torture and death, and then you gain eternal life.
	And so the idea that on the other side of disaster, on the other side of terror and horror and torture, on the other side of that is a superpower.
	They're not kidding about – that's a very real phenomenon because you will be surrounded by people who are still terrified of what you take for granted.
	You are on the – like if you are – I don't understand that.
	So you will be – like for the most part, people don't – Confront their fears and push through them and get to the other side.
	So you in life will then be surrounded by people who have not confronted their fears, and therefore you will have a superpower relative to them.
	So if you look at sort of my show...
	At its height of popularity and reach and so on, that was crazy, right?
	It was huge. Like three-quarters of a billion views and downloads, hundreds, like well over a million books downloaded and I assume at least read to some degree every year.
	Speeches and book tours and speaking tours sold out all over the place, right?
	So at the sort of height of my success and fame, how did that come about?
	Well, because I have a superpower that I was encouraging other people because I'd love to have more competition.
	I have a superpower...
	Which was, you know, therapy, self-acceptance, self-knowledge, and having pushed through my fears, right?
	Once you've really confronted your own fears, then I hate to sort of say bomb threats and death threats or whatever.
	They don't matter as much. They still matter.
	I mean, it's not like you become, I said, somewhat invulnerable, right?
	But, you know, slander and lies and all of that stuff, it just matters a lot less.
	It just matters a lot less. Because there's no ally within me that evildoers can use against me, right?
	Because we're all kind of on the same team.
	We're all on the same side, all in pursuit of truth and reason and peace and philosophy and wisdom and all of that.
	So I had a superpower relative to other people.
	We're doing podcasts, we're doing shows and all of that.
	And so in life as a whole, your success has a lot to do with can you gain the superpower of just losing your fear, of losing your fear.
	A lot of that has to do with raising the stakes to the point where it's worth it.
	If on the other side of your fear is a loving wife and a great family life and maybe some financial success or professional success and whatever it is that you're going to pursue, if all of that treasure and beauty is on the other side of your fear, It's not even our fear,
	is it? Well, some of it is, for sure, because we are social animals and we don't like to be rejected by the tribe.
	So the fear of going against the tribal norms, the tribal standards, is the fear of ostracism and therefore genetic annihilation.
	Because when we were ostracized in the past by the tribe, we wouldn't get to reproduce.
	No woman would sleep with us, or our children would be banished with us, or we'd be banished and we'd die alone in the wilderness.
	So going against the tribal standards is very much programmed to...
	We're programmed against that.
	It's not just some existential blah, blah, blah.
	And that's what deplatforming is.
	Deplatforming is the threat of annihilation, right?
	Because in the past when you were deplatformed by the elders or everyone commanded the women not to be with you or sleep with you or get married to you or whatever and you were ostracized and kicked out and the crazy person living in the middle of nowhere with his elderberry bush or whatever in some Monty Python film, then you were done.
	Those genes were done. So only the genes that followed...
	The social norms got to survive.
	However, however, the genes that only followed the social norms ended up losing.
	Like if you look at the Aborigines that I talked about in Australia, 40,000 years, very little progress.
	And then who did they get conquered by?
	They get conquered by the Europeans and they get conquered by other groups who allow 1% of people to go against the social norms and through that you get both the potential for disaster and the potential for progress.
	So we are very much, as individuals, we don't want to go against the social norms because it means genetic death and genetic annihilation, the end of our line.
	But if as a society we never allow anyone to go against the social norms, we stagnate and we get conquered by more adventurous and Self-challenging groups, groups that allow the mutation of the individual.
	Evolution is stability plus mutation, right?
	The vast majority of our DNA has to be stable and then there's a little bit of randomness, a little bit of mutation that then provides a negative or a positive.
	And so societies where there's no change Where it is obey or genetic death, they never progress.
	They never progress.
	And you can look at hyper...
	And it's not just an IQ thing. You can look at hyper-conformist societies like ancient Japan, ancient China, and so on, 6,000 years for a little progress.
	It happened in the Aborigines, it happened in the Mayans, it happened in the Incans, it happened to the East Asians to some degree.
	There's just not enough mutation, not enough challenge, not enough free speech, not enough revolution against the status quo to allow the societies to progress and they end up losing to, say, European societies or Western societies where we do allow and encourage slightly more.
	It doesn't have to be much, just a little, too much and you just go completely haywire and you just fall apart.
	So you need a base of stability, just as an evolution, and you need some mutation so that you can adapt to better or positive things.
	So we are very much fearful and opposed to going against social norms, but I would say, at least in the West, we do have...
	Some respect for the non-conformists.
	Some respect for the people who challenge the status quo.
	Now, we'll probably kill them. We'll probably kill them like we did with Socrates, like we tried to with Plato, and we tried to with Aristotle like we did with Jesus.
	You'll probably end up killing them.
	Although now in society, there's just deplatforming and ostracism and so on.
	That's how much we've advanced, which is, you know, not inconsiderable given how slow most societies advance.
	So we're probably going to, but we do respect the non-conformist.
	We do have a soft spot, you know, for the doers and the challengers and the people who go against the grain.
	You don't really see that so much in Chinese and Japanese culture or even in Indian culture where obedience to the elders is like the be-all and the end-all.
	So they have way too much stability and way too little mutation and challenge and therefore there's not really much growth.
	Societies that are nothing but change, there's no stability and they all fall apart.
	But societies where there's a lot of stability And there's some acceptance of challenge and, quote, mutation, those are societies that are going to progress the most.
	And right now, of course, what the left is trying to do is they're trying to expand, they're trying to destroy the stability, right, so that you have nothing but mutation and then the society as itself falls apart, just as if you have too much mutation, you can't survive.
	You just melt into a puddle or a baby that has too much genetic mutation simply is not viable, right, and just dies.
	So we have to...
	Like the fear is not just some weird made-up thing.
	It is our fear. We don't like to go against the social norms, but at least in the West we have some desire and respect for those who go against social norms.
	So what happens is they will kill Jesus, but you get Christianity.
	They will kill Socrates, but you get the Socratic method, which leads directly to the scientific revolution.
	They will kill some of the heretic scientists, but the scientific revolution will still...
	Continue and progress.
	And so those of us who are going against the social norms are an essential part of Western society in the same way that mutations are an essential part of evolution.
	So mutations are tinkering with and experimenting on the fringes of things to see if there's an incremental improvement.
	It's the same thing. And my, of course, one of my many faults is thinking that things are further along than they are because it's my environment and my life and myself and so on.
	But it's always earlier than we think, right?
	Those of us who are really thinking for ourselves.
	And so I'm willing to sort of take the pushback because the main social body doesn't want the genetics.
	They don't want the evolution because it's risky.
	And the organism is satisfied with the way that it is.
	And the organism as a whole doesn't want the mutation.
	The ape doesn't want the human.
	The human doesn't want whatever's going to come next.
	Of course, because if there's an evolution, it displaces some of the genes.
	So the bigger brain displaces the genetics for the smaller brain.
	And the smaller brain wants to fight against that.
	So society, as it is now constituted, desperately wants to fight against Progress and evolution.
	The slave owners want to fight against the emancipation of the slaves.
	The slave catchers want to fight against the emancipation of the slave.
	The people who live on taxation don't want to see the end of taxation.
	Society fights to retain its current shape in the same way that all genes fight to replicate themselves.
	And genes that get displaced by newer genes, better genes, so to speak, in terms of evolution, or genes that can spread more efficiently if you want to be more technical, the existing structure will always, genetically, socially, will fight against Whatever is coming next.
	And some people will fight to the death because if you look at the genetics, the genetics for the smaller brain have now been displaced by the genetics for the larger brain.
	There's probably some vestiges, but definitely the whole package is gone and replaced by the bigger brain stuff.
	So the smaller brain genes have died out in humanity, and they don't want to do that.
	They want to just stay the way they are, which is why society kicks back so hard against progress, because it wishes to retain its existing shape.
	Humanity, by the billions, by the billions, my friends, has completely adapted itself to a situation of near universal coercion called the state, called fiat currency, called the redistribution of income, called unfunded liabilities.
	So, of course, all of those individuals are going to fight like hell against a voluntary, free, stateless society, a moral society, a non-aggression principle society, a universally preferable behavior society.
	Of course they are.
	I mean, it would make no sense if they didn't.
	Like evolution, society, reason, biology, none of it would make any sense if they weren't fighting back like hell.
	We'll fight against evolution, just as every structure which perceives itself as stable will fight against anything that might displace any part of it, because each part of it, each particular gene Wishes to propagate.
	Wishes to flourish. Like your toe is just using you to make another toe.
	That's all it cares about.
	It doesn't care about everything else. Just make another toe.
	Make another toe. Oh, do I need a liver?
	Do I need a six-foot-tall guy to make another toe?
	Fine. That's great. Just I need the little toe gene has got to get some nutrition and it needs a body and it needs a stomach and it needs bowels just to get nutrition to the little toe.
	That's all it cares. Your eyebrow just wants to make another eyebrow.
	And every particular aspect of society just wants to reproduce itself.
	And if someone comes along And says no, things should be different, then it is an existential threat to whatever aspect of society or whatever genetics is going on, and they will push back and fight like hell.
	So if society wins too much, it stagnates, and there's no progress, and it will lose.
	It will end up being taken over by another group.
	If society is too chaotic, if it rips up all of its own statues, then you end up with a completely different society that's very unstable like communism or national socialism or fascism.
	I mean, just totalitarianism of every kind.
	And those societies always self-destruct.
	So you need that stable base.
	And then you need people like us who are going to challenge against that, knowing that the blowback is there, knowing that the blowback is entirely sensible and rational from the standpoint of the people who are blowing back.
	Knowing that the stability of society is essential for our progress, because if everything is too chaotic, nothing reproduces.
	And they have to understand that we are necessary for the progress of society, because if we don't allow society to be challenged, we're going to be taken over by the society that allows 1% more challenge from somewhere else.
	So I hope that helps in terms of placing you in the perspective.
	Don't look at yourself as just some being that's only psychological.
	I've done that. I mean, and I don't mean to sort of lecture from some lofty place because I still do that from time to time.
	But when you say, like, our fear isn't even real, no, no, no, the fear is totally real because we are biological entities first and foremost.
	The psychology is a mere imperfect shadow cast by the essential biology of our natures.
	And so if you have a particular concern or a particular fear, oh, you know, I don't want to go against the status quo, I feel really anxious about standing up to social norms, that's perfectly, that's not an irrational fear.
	It's a perfectly rational fear based upon the genetic death of being ostracized by society.
	At the same time, if you feel anxiety about simply going with the flow and blending with everyone and never making a wave and never saying boo to a mouse and never pushing back against anything, if you feel that's humiliating, that's because society also needs to evolve.
	It can't just be perfectly stable or it's going to get conquered like the Chinese were by the British or the Aborigines were by the British or the Aztecs were by the Spanish or whatever, right?
	So we do have a fear of going against the social norms and we also have a humiliation at obeying too much.
	Now, maybe in East Asia, in China, Japan, it's more the shame of going against social norms.
	They don't really have as much of the values of, you know, stand up and push back and be yourself and be an individual and think for yourself and so on.
	So that is our challenge.
	Don't look at yourself as merely a self-created, personal history, empirical from the day you were born, bundle of...
	Psychology, because a lot of our instincts go very, very deep into our biology and our evolution.
	And I respect the stability of society.
	I respect that society is pushing back.
	I respect the fact that society is trying to silence me because evolution is tough.
	Growth is tough.
	Exactly the same thing happened to every other innovator.
	And it kind of should happen. It kind of should happen because if every innovator comes along and completely overthrows society and changes everything, then society doesn't have enough stability.
	It's like a Chernobyl level of mutation rather than a benevolent evolutionary level of mutation, if that makes sense.
	All right. All right.
	Well, listen, guys, I really, really appreciate your time tonight.
	A great pleasure to chat.
	As always, I love you guys so much.
	I hope and I guess pray to some degree that it's helpful to you.
	And I love you guys for dropping by and giving me a chance to speak these ideas.
	Very, very important to me. Great for me.
	Enjoyable for me. I hope valuable for you.
	I'm sure it is because you guys know what to do with your time and coming here at It's a good thing to do with your time.
	Tell me this is not the greatest place for clarity and reason on God's green acre.
	Thanks everyone so much. Have yourself a wonderful evening.
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