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Aug. 5, 2020 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
01:06:33
"KIDS DRIVE YOU CRAZY!" A kid responds...
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Time Text
All right. We're here.
We're back. Yes, we are.
We are back. Together again for the very first time.
What? I don't know. So, the Star, the Toronto Star, that's actually a newspaper in Toronto, obviously.
I used to deliver that newspaper when I was a kid.
It had a newspaper route.
Yeah, I remember you told me about that one.
I used to get paid one penny for every advertisement insert I put into the newspaper.
Oh my gosh. A penny.
Wow. You don't even know what a penny is.
I do. That's what they round up to give you the nickel.
I remember when I was younger, I always looked at pennies for the 2008, for Made in 2008, because it was my birth year.
I'm so 2008, you so 2000 and late.
So the Toronto Star has put out an article, it just came out today, in fact, by a woman named Leslie Ann Skorgy.
Skorgy? Skorgy.
And it says, is it time to put the kids back in childcare?
No! Sure, it's expensive, but your mental health is worth it.
Wait, what? You're saying you're going to go insane if you have kids?
My mother used to tell me this.
She would say, insanity is hereditary.
We get it from our children. Get it?
Anyway. So, this is interesting, right?
Is it time to put the kids back in child care now?
Have you been cared for? Yeah.
I think so, right? And the idea that childcare is what strangers do, but not what mothers do?
Or dads. Or dads, right?
That's just kind of odd, right?
Is it time to put the kids back in childcare?
Like, somehow that implies that they're not in childcare when they're actually with their parents.
Yeah. Which is kind of crazy, right?
And they say, sure, it's expensive, but your mental health is worth it.
Now, what does that say? It's saying that kids make your parents go insane.
That is... I mean, psychopath kids, but the majority of kids don't do that.
Well, and I don't know about...
I think psychopath kids, for the most part, come from really bad environments and all that, right?
Yeah. So, this is how the article starts.
And we're going to look at this.
So there's the article, there's the content, and then there's the reason why.
See, everything that's written down, everything that's published, there's always a reason behind it.
And it's true for me, too. Like, I mean, if I'm publishing something, I usually have a big reason behind it.
But some of them are part of a larger plan that seems...
Ooh, ready for a big word?
Yeah. Nefarious.
I have an idea. I've heard that word before.
I've actually read that word before, probably.
Nefarious. When you say nefarious, you always have to stroke an imaginary beard or you can stroke an imaginary mustache, like an evil guy mustache.
What the heck? I don't know. Anyway, nefarious is usually a kind of plot to harm someone that...
It's kind of underhanded.
You don't just go up and slap them or set fire to whatever, right?
You find a way.
So there was a guy at work, when I worked years ago in the software industry, there was a guy who had a really bad temper, but he always kept it just very, very private.
And he would always smooth it over whenever anyone else came in the room.
Now, I couldn't, I wouldn't, if he was my employee, I would have fired him, but I couldn't fire him because he wasn't my employee.
Right. He was like a, actually slightly above me, but I needed to get him out because he was terrorizing people.
And it was one of these things where people would say, oh, this guy has a really bad temper.
And everybody would be like, no, he doesn't.
I've never seen anything like that.
But behind closed doors, you know, it would turn into this, right?
So what I had to do was I just had to provoke him.
in a meeting with his manager. - Right. - And I was just kind of relentless and I just provoked him and then he blew up and then he got fired.
So now that's called nefarious.
Now, I mean, I guess that's nefarious, like that was for a good cause.
Everybody was much happier afterwards and we were much more productive and all of that.
But I've had that kind of situation, like if I have power over someone like I'm their boss, then I will use that power directly.
If I don't, you have ways of still getting things you want done.
But sometimes it's called nefarious, right?
So I think there's a nefarious reason as to why this article is written.
I don't obviously know this woman or whether it's true.
It's just my thought. Well, let me just say one thing about the title.
Yes. So can you scroll back up? Yeah, yeah, sorry.
No problem. Alright, so, is it time to put the kids back in childcare?
Look, so, it's like, oh, well, I need to go to work now, right?
Say this mom, I don't know why she needs to go to work, especially if she has a husband who is working, right?
Well, they start with that, but go ahead.
But no, let me just say. Say you have to go back to work or something, and you're married and all that, of course, right?
And then it's like, oh, we should put the kids back in childcare.
It's like, okay, well, you can go to work because you need money, But you're also going to get COVID and then your work's going to close down again.
Because the kid, one kid at the daycare, one kid at the daycare is going to have COVID. They're going to be touching everything.
They're going to be sneezing on everything. Like it's impossible to keep, 90% impossible to keep three-year-olds, like I don't know, 15 three-year-olds just away from each other.
Oh, when I was working, I worked as a daycare teacher's assistant, as you know, for many years.
We had 25 to 30 kids aged 5 to 10.
It was complete mayhem.
And, yeah, so, I mean, also, now, Izzy, let's say this, right?
So, let's say you hear someone say, I think it's time to go back in the water.
What does that imply to you? You've been in the water.
You've been in the water. You've been out of the water.
So, it's like, is it time to put the kids back in child care?
Yeah. There's so many different ways that you could phrase that.
You could say, are you so unhappy that you want strangers to raise your children?
You know, you put it, anyway, say, back in childcare, like they came out of childcare, like they came out of a pool.
And it was terrible, and then you have to put them back in?
Well, no, no, they come out of, childcare is good, right?
To care for children is good. So they come out of childcare.
And now it's time to put them back into childcare.
Because clearly, as a mother, you're not caring for...
Like, it's just really... Well, of course.
It's not how nature was designed or anything.
Nature was designed for random people to raise your own children.
Like, think of it with dogs as an example.
So, there's, like, dogs.
Say there's a litter of five puppies, right?
And then the mom just wanders off...
Wait, what kind of dogs? Retrievers.
How cute are they? Little cuddly retrievers that fall asleep on your chest and you never want to get up?
Yeah, we actually had that once.
We went to a pet store and they let you hold the puppies and they were so cute.
You know, and I feel like the puppies, they attach to me like Velcro.
I know. You know, like you just want to take him home.
He was so cute. I was holding him and I was like, what is this?
Yeah, and then after you have to get up for the fourth time at night, maybe a little less.
No, I would get up every single night for them little puppies.
No, I absolutely adore puppies. They're like...
I even adore adult dogs, too, because they're so playful.
Anyway, so say you have five, and then the mom, the retriever, the parent, just wander off, give their food to another dog to care for them for the entire day.
Right, right. It's like, why would you do that?
Now, he says, sure, it's expensive, but your mental health is worth it.
Now, do you know what they're implying there?
You will go insane if you spend time with your children.
That's what I'm talking about. You will go insane if you spend too much time with your children, like they are mind breakers or something like that, right?
Oh, it's really crazy, right?
Okay, so here's how it starts.
And then, of course, you know, there's this nice picture of kids all having fun together, right?
Yeah, that doesn't happen. If you and your partner, if you have one...
Is that what they say? If you and your partner, if you have one...
Right....didn't lose any income and you were prudent with your childcare savings during the pandemic...
I.e., that means such like, it didn't get spent on non-essentials.
You're probably sitting on a few thousand extra dollars by this point.
Now, that's very interesting.
But if you're not doing that...
Nefarious! Sorry. Anyway, go on.
Actually, there's a song by a band called Duran Duran.
The band's so nice, they named it twice.
And it's notorious!
Anyway... It's just...
It's like, oh, you should be sitting.
You should be. And if you're not, then it's your kid's fault.
Well, yeah. No, I think what they're saying, you could be right, but I think what they're saying is, okay, so you've been home for a little while.
You're saving money. People like to save money.
If you're sitting on a couple of extra, and probably more than a couple of extra, so you've got a couple of extra thousand dollars in the bank account.
Here's some basic math 101, alright?
I'm going to ask you to do all of this in your head.
It's going to be algebra, fractions, calculus...
You're already opening up your calculator, you know, right?
No, I'm just... I'm going to do this in my head.
I'm going to point... No, no, no, don't take the camera.
Okay. Alright. So, let's say that a woman...
A mom, right? Let's say she makes $60,000 a year.
That's pretty good. That's pretty good.
That's $5,000 a month, right?
So she makes $60,000 a year.
Now, she's going to be paying about 40% of that.
Let's say 35% in taxes, right?
So we'll multiply that by 0.65.
So she takes home $39,000 a year, right?
Divide that by 12. That's $3,200 a month, right?
Right. If she has two children in daycare, that's probably $1,500 a month, right?
Probably. So, let's minus $1,500 from that.
We got $17.50, right?
Yeah. That's how much. Now, there's other expenses that she's going to have.
She's probably going to have a couple of lunches out.
She might have to have an extra car, put more wear and tear on that because she's got to drive to work.
Right. Right? And all this other stuff that's going to need to...
She's going to need nicer clothes to go to work.
I mean, obviously, I dress up a lot to go to work, but not everyone does.
Boy, you can't see that dead-eyed spirit, can you?
No. Okay.
Wait, reply in the comments.
Is he actually dressing up at all?
I was supposed to shave before the show, but we took a while to get started.
All right. So, after child care, right, she is netting $1,750 a month, right?
Okay. Now, here's the thing.
If you're making $60,000 a year, you're kind of making $30 an hour, right?
Yeah. But here's the reality. So we're just going to go roughly.
So in a month, there are four weeks, 40-hour work week times 460 hours a week, right?
Yeah. So we're going to take that $1,750 that she's keeping after taxes and childcare.
And there's other things we could take off for sure, but we'll just leave it this way, right?
So let's divide that by $160.
How much is she making an hour?
$10. $10.90.
So basically $11.93.
So she thinks that she's making $30 an hour because she's saying, oh, I'm making $60,000 a month, right?
Yeah. But when you break it down, you take away the child care expenses and you take away the other expenses, which we haven't even done.
She's making about $10 an hour after taxes.
She's making about $10 an hour.
That's pretty bad. Yeah.
That's pretty bad. I think that the average teen...
What's it called? Money thing that teens get if they're in a job is like $15 an hour or something?
Let's have a look. Canada, minimum wage.
So the minimum wage in British Columbia rose to $15.20 an hour.
In Manitoba, it's $11.65 because it's cheaper to live in Manitoba and so on.
As I said, she's making less money than your lowest wage.
She's making below minimum wage.
Yeah. And so this is the problem.
So what happens, of course, is that...
Now, this article is kind of focusing on people who are working from home and trying to take care of kids at the same time, which does not seem to be a very good idea, right?
So, what's happening is they're sitting on a few thousand extra dollars now.
What's happening is people are calculating this, and it's really, really tough for me to justify handing two kids, say, off to a daycare so that you can...
Battle traffic. You can go and do a job that's sometimes going to be stressful.
You've got to race home. Sometimes you get stuck in traffic.
And I remember when I was in the daycare, we would have to wait sometimes for people to come and pick up their kids because they got stuck in traffic or maybe the bus broke down or something like that.
It was really tough, really stressful for them, right?
Yeah. And you also have to get up earlier because you've got to get your kids ready and get out the door, usually by 7 o'clock in the morning.
And some kids, we have this... These friends, and sometimes they have two kids, and sometimes they will be like an hour late.
It's a 45 minute drive, sometimes less.
If there's low traffic and stuff.
It can sometimes be an hour and a half.
I think once was like an hour and a half.
And it's a lot of conflict. Like, we have somewhat leisurely mornings, but with kids, you've got to get them up.
You've got to get them to brush their teeth.
They've got to have breakfast. They've got to get clothes.
You've got to get their stuff together.
Like, it's a lot of stuff. So, yeah, so it's really, really tough.
So what's happening is people are going to start to do this calculation, and they're going to start to say, okay, how much money am I really making after I pay taxes and childcare expenses, this, that, and the other, right?
So what's happening right now is people are making a lot of money, so to speak, or they're saving a lot of money by not putting their kids in daycares, right?
Right? So I think this woman doesn't work for the government, but in general, I think the government wants the moms to go to work.
I don't know why though.
Why? Why does the government want...
No welfare. I'm sorry.
Am I correct? No welfare?
Go on. Well, they don't have to pay money to the mom.
No, they do, right? No, no. So if a woman goes to work, she's paying taxes, right?
Yes. If a woman stays home, is she paying taxes?
Well, that's what I'm talking about. No. Well, that's what I meant.
If a woman stays home, they give her welfare, but if she works, she doesn't get welfare.
Well, no, she's got a husband, right?
If she's got a husband, he's going to work, right?
Yeah. Now, here's the thing, too.
So, in the 1960s, a lot of women decided, for various reasons, to go into the workforce, right?
To go and get jobs, right? Now, when a whole bunch of women came into the workforce, what happened to the wages of everyone else?
It went down. Why?
Because there were more people.
Yes, a blind amount, right? More people coming in.
So the wages of everyone went down.
And it very quickly became the case that whereas one person, like in the 1950s, one man, the average kids, there were three or four kids in the average family, and one man could afford a house and a car and have his wife home and all of that on a salary quite easily.
But now people say, well, you need two people working.
In order to raise a family, which I don't think is true.
But anyway, it's not always true.
Look, I mean, even if you get like one less than a week vacation, you still have like...
The kids are still kind of privileged, if you know what I mean.
Because they have a mom that stays home and a dad.
Even if they don't get to see their dad too, too much.
I mean, it will change when they're older and all.
And also, who knows?
Maybe he'll get upgraded and we'll have to work less or something like that.
I'm just saying like, you can get upgraded...
And maybe there's like, you get to work less hours or you get to work more from home so they get to see their dad more.
Oh, that's certainly happening, right? Yeah.
Or they take turns working.
Right now people are saying, look how much money we're saving by not putting our kids in daycare or having a nanny or something like that, right?
And we actually knew a family once.
The mom stayed home and they had a nanny.
Anyway. What? I know.
How do you do that? So anyway, the article goes on to say, since mid-March, many families have gone without child care, which at the upper end of the spectrum, a spectrum is like, you know, like rainbow colors.
It's like from one end to the other.
At the upper end of the spectrum, it runs $3,200 per month.
That's multiple children under the care of a nanny or in daycare.
So $3,200 a month.
That's a lot of money. And on the lower end starts at around $600 per month for before and after school care for the average family with school-aged children.
So obviously this was happening pre-pandemic when school was normally in session.
So $600 per month is when you drop kids off at the daycare in the morning before you go to work, right?
And then you pick them up like, I don't know, 5 or 6 o'clock after you work because school would drop them off at 3.30, right?
So, summertime care, camps and activities that have largely been cancelled due to COVID and that additional savings could easily be another few hundred to a thousand dollars, right?
Yeah. And they say, wherever you fall in on the range of childcare and activities expenses, these costs are a massive component of a family's normal household budget.
See, normal. Normal household budget is the woman working and dropping her kids off in daycare.
That shouldn't be normal.
I don't think so, no. That should be rare.
So it's no wonder working parents are feeling financial relief.
Ooh, can't have that. No.
Can't have them noticing that they're saving a lot of money, right?
The trade-off, however, is mental health and work performance.
Oh my God. Mental health and work performance.
Which is why some parents are choosing to send their kids back into care.
Yeah. Now, they haven't really used the word daycare.
They're just back into care.
They're just using this generic word care as if, again...
It's like, oh, it's care. It's a positive thing, right?
Care with a Karen. I'm kidding.
But others are writing it out because the savings are so sweet.
Here's how to tell if you need to get off the savings gravy train and reinvest in child care.
This person sounds like Karen.
It could be. Well, that's why I said care with a Karen.
Karen's advertising care.
Invest is considered a positive word.
Like you invest in education, you invest in health by exercise, you invest, right?
So reinvest in child care.
It's just so biased, right?
Note that there are extremely strict safety guidelines, blah, blah, blah.
Okay. Your kids are young and you are frazzled.
Do you know what the word frazzled means?
Fragile? No, frazzled means you're kind of stressed, you're kind of worn out, you're just kind of, ugh, it's been too much.
It's a little bit more the case with women, although it happens to men too.
It's something called being overwhelmed.
And that's exactly how they all say it, even the men.
No, only the women.
It's when there's like too much going on.
When you just, oh, I have too much to do, I have too much of this, I've got to take the kids to the dentist, and then I've got to go get my groceries, and I've got bills to pay, and my mother is ill, and you're just overwhelmed.
And listen, it can really happen to people.
It's a very real thing, and it's something that needs to be taken care of.
But I feel like a lot of people just say it to get sympathy.
I mean, no offense if you're not doing that, but offense if you are doing that.
So this looks like a conference call with your one-year-old baby strapped into the baby carrier, which he's obviously too big for, but it keeps him happy, while he claws at your earbuds and squeals as the neighbor's dog barks loudly outside.
Okay, I've never heard of babies clawing at your earlobes.
Demon babies? Yeah.
That sounds like that bird you had.
Remember as there was a bird that pecked your earlobe?
No, that was a cat that chewed on my ear.
That was a cat? Oh, that was a kitten.
That was a little kitten. For those who don't know, this is a brief story about when I was in...
I was in college.
I was doing my graduate degree.
And I was living in a house with a bunch of other guys.
And... One of them had a kitten.
And I used to...
Of course, it was back before you could read off computers.
So I would be reading a physical book.
Now, occasionally, occasionally I get a little nappy in the afternoon.
Yeah. And I have this sort of stages of not reading.
So I read sitting up and then I'm like, I'm just going to...
Yeah, don't do that. I'm going to read, you know, and then I'm just going to read.
I'm going to put my head to one side.
I'm going to read. I'm just going to close my eyes for a moment, right?
Anyway, this cat was weaned too early, so it was not able to get breast milk from its mother's nipples.
And so it crawled up my side and started sucking on my earlobe, which gave me the strangest dreams you could conceive of.
Because they've got really sandpapery tongues and little teeth and all of that.
That was so cute, though.
Yeah, so if you're having a light sleep, that kind of stimulus will wake you up.
But if you're having a deep sleep, and for some reason I just crashed real deep, I was reading a very boring book on socialism.
I still remember what it was called.
The Rise of... It was called...
Don't advertise. No, no, you're right.
So anyway, yeah, so I just had this very strange dream about what was happening to my ear.
So yeah, that happened for sure.
That was pretty cute. I thought there was some bird or something that tried to peck at your ear or whatever.
No, no, you're thinking that. No?
But you have had a bunch of birds, though.
Yes, I did say birds, and so did you.
You feed him raisins while trying to take notes, all whilst walking laps inside and outside the house.
When your partner finishes their video call, you swap.
Right? So, a conference call with a one-year-old baby strapped into the baby carrier, which is obviously too big for, but it keeps him happy while he claws at your ear.
It just makes everything sound negative and terrible.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
So you just have to do something and he'll stay happy.
It's like, it's just, you know what I mean?
No, listen, people get torn a lot of times and they feel frazzled when they have two opposing and incompatible demands.
So I read a book.
There's a very rare syndrome, often hits girls, called anorexia nervosa.
Where women basically, we've seen pictures occasionally of really really thin women like to just try and starve themselves to death and I read a really good novel about the woman who had this when I was younger and do you know when she first freaked out?
What? So she went from her locker to her math class and she was almost at her math class and she was almost late and she realized that she didn't have her math book with her.
Right. She left it in her locker.
So she thought If I go into the math class without my math book, I'm going to get in trouble.
But if I go back to my locker to get my math book, I'm going to be late for class and I'm going to get in trouble.
And she just freaked out because it was a no-win situation.
It was an impossible situation, right?
And so when people have opposing demands, they get kind of torn.
And I think a lot of being happy in life is to try to make sure you don't end up with crazy opposing demands in your life, that you can't satisfy people, right?
So you can't, you know, if you want to take care of your one-year-old baby, You shouldn't be on a conference call.
Yeah. If you're on a conference call, it's tough to take care of your one-year-old baby, right?
And there's a couple of videos...
Just feed him raisins. Okay. Well, that's what he said, right?
That's why I said just feed him raisins.
So there is...
I mean, there are some videos.
There's a video of a woman trying to talk about COVID and her daughter is asking her questions about which picture she thinks is nice.
Oh, I remember that. And the other guy was very nice about it.
He's like, I kind of liked it on the middle shelf.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very nice, right?
Yeah. So, but people feel very tense if, well, I can't do a good conference call and I can't take care of my baby and all that, right?
So this is where people end up frantic, right?
So then they say the franticness pushes your work back into the evenings after bedtime to the wee hours of the morning before wake up and into nap time if that even happens.
And that's just having one child.
Imagine a toddler in the mix, too.
So guess what? Like most parents, without formal childcare, you fall into bed at night utterly frazzled and worried about your job because your performance isn't what it used to be.
Your fatigue is growing.
Now, this is an interesting question, right?
So what she's saying is that, look, there's a contradiction.
You can't be great at work, and you can't take care of your kids.
Now, what's one possible solution?
Take care of your kids. Yeah, quit your job.
No, quit your kids.
Quit your kids, that's right. Quit your kids and send them to something.
Feed raisins to your webcam and talk to your child.
Something like that, right?
Yeah, give a conference call with your child.
How's daycare? It sucks.
Great. I get to feed some raisins to the camera.
Oh, so there was a...
Many years ago, I read a book.
It was a very good book. And this woman was making the case for being at home.
And... She was saying that, so one woman, she put her kids in daycare and then her kids went to boarding school, right?
And she said, yes, but my children, they know that I'm always with them in my heart.
No, you're not. Or that I'm always with them in their heart.
I can't remember which one. And it's like, but that's what you say about dead people.
Yeah. You know, like, oh, grandmother's always with us in our heart.
And it's like, that's because she's not actually in the real world.
It's like she'd become a ghost of ambition just to not see the children.
Yeah, your kids probably come home. What's your name?
Yeah. Right, so that's like a real question.
Okay, you've got a contradiction between work and home.
How about you give up work, you know, not staying forever, but your kids get older, right?
You can go back to work, you can work from home, you can start your own business, your jewelry crafting.
Well, this is why I'm thinking, so, I've probably mentioned this before, I'm thinking of being a YouTuber, I'm going to have multiple different channels of different stuff, probably a Minecraft channel, maybe some other game that I like, anything, right?
So, when I have kids, it's going to be, I'm going to take a break on that, I'm going to hopefully have some stored up videos that I haven't posted yet that I can post once a day or something, or when they're napping or whatever, I can make a video and post it, but...
Other than that, I mean, like, and then when they get older, when they get, like, maybe seven or eight, I can do more videos and stuff.
Videos that maybe are an on and off stop so that whenever they need something, I can go off and get it for them.
So when you were born, I stopped writing books.
Right. So I wrote, I don't know, half a dozen books.
Well, more than that, but just in terms of philosophy, like a half a dozen books.
But they were very time-consuming, right?
Yeah. And, you know, parenting is like, as you know, it's more than a full-time job, right?
Now, it's less now. You're getting older and all of that, but...
I stopped writing books because you have to give up something to be a parent.
I still did shows and all that, but that was all...
Anyway, so there's nothing in here about...
Like, she could run through the math that we just ran through and said, Okay, how much are you really making at your job?
Yeah. When you deduct all of the additional expenses, the taxes, the lunches, the dry cleaning, the clothing, the car, the gas, the maintenance, how much are you really making?
I think they're down into single digits.
I think a lot of women are making $8, $9 an hour when you take it all out.
Making $60,000 a year if you're single is a lot of money.
Yeah, that's above average. I mean, it's typically like, what, $40,000 or something?
For a family, yeah. It depends where you are.
For family. My very first job that I got that was like a professional job, that was like a programming job, I made $40,000 a year.
This was like, gosh...
Probably 25, maybe almost 30 years ago.
And that's when there were less taxes.
They've kind of gone up and down, but the money was worth more back then for sure.
True. But I was living as a student, so I just had one room in the house where the kitten attacked my earlobe for no reason.
But I felt like I had all the money in the world because my expenses were really low and I suddenly had a big income relative to my expenses.
But yeah, so it's pretty good money, right?
I mean, $40,000 a year...
That although you know what happens is you do all these calculations in your head you get your first paycheck because you know you got income taxes you've got old age pension taxes you've got unemployment insurance taxes it's just and you just feel like you're eating crumbs off a table right yeah so so she says from both the mental health and job security standpoint this isn't good right you're stressed you're tired so how about she says well what about just not working for a couple of years right I think that's good So she says,
your savings are growing, but you aren't keeping up with your work commitments.
Give up on your work commitments.
Missing deadlines, customer complaints, work quality suffering, your creativity is low.
If you're still going up in terms of income, then quit.
Business is picking up, but you don't have any more time in your calendar.
Your boss wants you back in the physical office.
Even if your employer is offering you greater flexibility with the way you schedule your day, or your goals have been reduced for the year, you may not be hitting performance targets, and that could impact your job security.
Now, you know what's perfect job security?
What? Being a parent.
Do you know why? Why? You're trapped.
Yeah. You are trapped.
You can't go anywhere.
That makes it sound scary. Particularly when you're young.
Yeah, well, no, but it's a fact.
Yeah. I mean... Well, until you're 10, you can't really go anywhere without your kid.
That's true. I think it's 10, right?
It's something like that. Yeah. So, I probably should know that.
Yeah. But no, here's the thing.
A friend of mine referred to it as the ABC, the accidental biological cage.
What does that mean? Um, I don't know.
No, I mean, it's like when you have the kids, it's like biological.
I don't know. Well, accidental is you didn't choose us.
No. I mean, you weren't sitting there saying, hmm...
Let's run through that lineup of parents once more, and let's see if I can get...
Anything better. Whatever, right?
I think we can upgrade from here.
Yeah, these people are okay.
Yeah, yeah. I think, can I get a test drive?
No. Right, so you didn't choose us.
Now, we also, we kind of chose you in that you're a blender mom and me, but we certainly didn't choose you as an individual in the same way that you're going to choose a husband or friends, like as you get older or whatever, right?
So, accidental biological cage.
And it is. You're trapped, man.
You're stuck.
You really are, because what are you going to do?
Are you going to be like, ah, you know what?
I'm heading out. I'm going into the woods.
I'm going to go find some...
Now, you could, I guess, right?
I mean, you could call the cops and say, I don't know, I'd like...
But if they're going to say, look, are your parents nice?
Yeah, but, you know, I just feel that there's better parents out there somewhere.
They'd be like, no, sorry. We've got to save room.
You've got to suck this one.
Yeah, we've got to save room for the kids who are really being...
You know, treated meanly by their parents or whatever.
So, you know, and I've said this before, I think I've told you, but I've always been like a dad on the idea that if you could choose any dad in the world, you would choose me, right?
That's what I've always tried.
Because you don't have that choice, but I can at least pretend that you do in my own mind.
Yeah, pretend. Make you feel better.
Here's the thing, too. Like, when you get older, you don't have to call me at all.
Nope. I mean, it will be kind of tough not to because I will be with you at all times.
Well, I'm fully aware that whenever I try and move out, you're going to be like, yeah, hanging onto my leg.
Don't leave! You'll be like, oh, I have your car keys.
Yeah, sure, I have other ones. You go out into the world and...
You don't ever have to be in touch with me.
Yeah, I can move to the other end of the world if I like.
No, even if you don't. You could just move down to, you could move, I don't know, one town over.
And you never, right? So, I mean, that's kind of important.
Knowing that that voluntary, like you're trapped now.
I mean, everyone's saying like, oh, you have to stay with your kids.
Their kids have to stay with their parents.
They raised you. It's like, no, that's how good they raised you.
It's like, do you want to stay with your parents?
Do you like them? Do they like you?
It's like, yeah, they like me.
I'm like, okay, great. Do you like them?
They're like, no. It's like, okay, bye.
Okay. You know, try and figure out a way to make it better.
Well, try and figure it out. But if your parents are insane, then just say bye.
Right, right. So, yeah, I mean, you really are.
You're really stuck, right? Yeah.
So, I think that the more you invest in your kids when you're younger, the better your relationship is as you get older, right?
Yeah. Anyway, so it says here, if you need to refocus on your work to keep your job, you need to pony up I don't know why it's called Pony Up.
It means to voluntarily pay for.
Something that you don't have to have.
So you need to pony up for the cost of childcare.
You need to! The longer term financial impact of losing your job when jobs are already scarce is far greater than the savings you are experiencing right now by not having care.
So here's a kind of chilling thing too, right?
It's kind of a bookends.
Do you have bookends? No, you just have books in your shelf, right?
Whatever. So a bookend is like, let's say on that cabinet there, we would put a bunch of books.
They'd just fall over, right? Yep.
So bookends are...
Oh, where they kind of keep the books... They prop up the books on either side, right?
My book cabinet, we gave away a ton of my old books.
My book cabinet kind of looked something like a whole bunch of rainbow colors crammed into a small space.
Oh, those younger kids love those books too.
All right. So a bookend is like the start and end of life, right?
So I've always had this kind of concern that if you...
Put your kids in daycare when the kids are young.
When you get old and you as an older person need taking care of, your kids are going to be like, what?
Uh, no.
Yes. Well, there is that danger, right?
Because, you know, if you have a good relationship and you love each other, like, I hope that I will always be able to add value to your life.
I know you're always adding value to my life.
I hope that. I mean, I'm sure that will continue.
Yes. Yes. But when I get really old, you know...
I could just say bye and put you in an old age home.
You absolutely could just say bye and put me in an old age home.
If you couldn't do that, that would be excellent.
I might. I might.
I'll see how it turns out. I'm kidding.
I won't. No, but that's the thing.
You could, right? But that's the thing, right?
So I think that the more you invest when kids are young, the more you're going to keep that relationship for your life and all that, right?
Yeah. You know, plus also when you have kids, you know, having been a parent, well, mom and I will have some utility, I hope, with regards to that, to helping and taking care of and all of that.
And I think it'd be great. No, I think it'd be great because when you were my child, I would face the immediate consequences of spoiling you, which would be really bad.
But when you have children...
I can just load them up with sugar.
I can crank them high. And they'll be like, gotta go.
Bye. And then you have to...
They'll be like, wow, I hate moms.
That's right. That's right. And there'll be no...
And actually, I will never do that.
I really, really dislike that.
It's like the bungee sugar grandparents who come in and like, sugar, fun.
And then they leave. And then the kids are like kind of jazzed.
And then they're also like, how come my parents aren't that much fun?
And it's like, it's kind of out there. I'd be like, well, look.
Grandparents are obsessed with their grandchildren.
Absolutely. So it's not actually that they love you.
It's just that they want you to love them.
I guess that could be it too.
This is their secret plot.
Yeah, yeah. It's a secret plot.
It's a secret plot of boomers.
I am one year off from being a boomer.
Boomers were 1965. That's when it ended.
And I was born in 1966.
I thought you were born in 1961.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. Do not make daddy use his patriarchal laser eyes.
Oh, sorry, that's kind of blurry.
If your eyes were red, I'd probably see it more, but your eyes are blue.
All right. So why should you put your kids in daycare?
Your children are not coping well.
You should put them in daycare so that one of those kids has COVID. They pass it on to your three-year-old.
You come home. But since you're not actually talking to your three-year-old, then I guess you're not going to get COVID. No, you come home.
You have to. It's a burden, apparently, for some parents.
You have to pick up your kid, get them ready, put them in bed.
Oh, now you have COVID. Then you go to work.
Then your entire workplace goes down for, like, the next year.
And then you have no work.
Yeah, no work. Congratulations, daycare!
Quarantine has been so hard on young people.
Hang on, hang on. I'm a young person.
I was too. Yeah, you're crying because you're not young.
Reduced play. Fewer programs.
Limited to no gatherings with friends.
Steep adjustments to online. Wait, are they talking about kids?
Yeah. Reduced play.
I don't know why there's reduced play.
We can play at home, right? Yeah.
Well, all I can say is I have an interesting relationship with friends.
Let's do another show about that.
Yeah, let's do another show about that.
I'm just saying, I don't play a lot with friends.
Right, right. Limited to no gatherings with friends.
Steep adjustments to online learning.
Wow, homeschools. Who cares about that?
Too much screen time.
I don't think it actually changes much.
Hey, I'm working. I'm working for my future channel.
I'm preparing myself.
You are learning animation, storytelling, characters.
I'm working on a really complicated story right now.
You said it's good and you were begging me.
No, it's very good. Also, one of my friends...
I just thought I had an interesting relationship with friends.
But one of my friends is also very interested in them.
And I actually didn't think she would be, but she is.
Yeah, yeah. No, you've done some really, really good stories.
I'm spending a lot of time on a future channel that I'm going to hopefully have in like a year and a half or two years or whenever I turn 13.
Because I think that's when you can get, YouTuber.
Some really good math there, thanks.
Is there something here?
No, I don't calculate my age exactly.
I basically do my birthday, but I don't...
Oh, you should hear me floundering around sometimes doing math on the fly on my show.
Oh, I can't do it.
It's like throwing a fish into the bottom of a boat.
I'm not super, super, super bad at math when I actually have a piece of paper.
No, no, that's fine. But I cannot do anything.
Sometimes in the car you'll give me some math questions like...
You're like, Izzy, were you listening?
And I'm like, no! No, Mom's the math person in the family, for sure.
Yeah, but no, wait, uh, yeah, so I, the reason I'm spending a lot of time on my tablet, which can sometimes be, like, three hours a day and stuff like that, just working on this, uh, these videos.
Because, like, even if I'm not going to publish these videos, because probably in the future I'm going to think these are, like, the worst videos in human history.
But, um... I like that there's no middle path.
No, no, I'm just saying.
That's the greatest thing ever! Worst thing ever!
I'm saying, like, right now I think they're good, but I remember the first one, the first actual one I made, because I used to do these joke videos between our family, and we each have characters, and my mom's character is the most realistic, but...
And I was the one who got cloned.
We'll talk about that at the time.
It was very funny. That was very funny, yeah. But, anyways, I shall continue.
No, you need to learn the animation and storytelling.
But I need to learn all this stuff.
Even if I don't publish these videos, I can still do funny reviews on one of the first Gatch Lifes.
I can do funny review videos. Well, and you've got the experience of making them, right?
Yeah, and I have the experience. So when I was about your age, I had a tape recorder.
Oh, yeah. And I don't even know.
It was bad, right? And I used to write these science fiction stories, like space stories, space starfighting stories, and I would get my friends to play the bit rarest characters, and then we would have these space battles, and then you'd blow in the microphone for the explosion, and Make that rumble and all of that.
Yeah. So it's funny, I had to, probably those tapes are somewhere at my mom's place, right?
But I used to make these stories when I was your age, and now it's really funny, great to see you making stories with really good animation.
And you've given me some story ideas. So he's kind of, this one, this story I'm working on is right by myself.
I'm calling it Hypnosis until I get a better name, but it's about this girl who gets powers, but she also loses all her empathy.
You get powers in return for losing your empathy.
That was your idea, right? And sometimes you can get like a form.
You can get like wolf ears and wolf tail because for some reason they have like this app I use.
I think I've mentioned it before. It's called Gadget Life.
You should check it out if you're a kid.
Probably adults might not get it, but it looks like anime and I dislike that part, but I just pretend it's like a human.
Anyways, like not a human with like a head three times the hand.
Size of the hand. But what's it called?
Oh, you were talking about your story?
Yes. Getting powers and stuff like that.
They can also get, like, they can get, like, as an example, like, there's telekinesis, there's hypnosis, there's revival, there's also, like, water breathing, all this stuff, right?
But I swear, if someone in the future actually sees this video and then sees the exact video I'm talking about, they're going to be like, wait.
But it's a complicated story.
It is. So you can get cool powers, you can also get forms.
In this app, Gatch Life has, like, 90% of their hairstyle.
For some reason, have, like, animal ears attached to them.
There's no bald guys. Yeah, there are both of those.
Is there? Yeah, you can remove the hair, I think.
Oh, okay. But not like the Bill Horseshoe of hair back there.
No, there's not that. So I give you very little hair.
Very little hair. Yeah, that's fair.
It works enough. It's great, too.
But there's all this stuff, so you sometimes get animal forms and stuff.
But anyways, that's probably not important about this.
No, that's fine. But a lot of kids are just doing screen time.
All they're doing is playing games.
Now, you'll play a couple of games. That bothers me.
But yeah, the games are...
It's fine a little bit.
To me, games are kind of like sugar.
A little bit's fine, but you can't live on it.
I maybe do like half an hour to an hour of games a day.
Like sometimes if I do stuff on the Discord server with Minecraft.
But that's including you and I playing a game of Rocket League.
Yeah, well then a little extra because those games are like five minutes long.
But they're also like team cooperation and stuff.
Anyways. So, too much screen time in general.
Groundhog Day routines at home.
So Groundhog Day is a movie.
It's actually a pretty good movie.
It's an old movie now, I guess.
About a guy who lives the same day over and over and over again.
Like every time he wakes up, it's the same day.
But he can change his behavior.
So, Groundhog Day is just everything seems the same.
Everything seems the same, right? Ew, that's creepy.
I don't like that. Which are good in that they allow you, the parent, to work, but are a double-edged sword, meaning not great for the social development of your children.
If your kids are struggling, it might be a sign that they need greater variety in social interaction in their day.
It might be a sign that they need a parent.
Yeah, through formal childcare. See, I don't think kids learn how to socialize too, too well from other kids, at least in the beginning.
I think you need to have a little bit of guidance and good interactions with your parents or other adults, and then you can kind of transfer that to...
To other kids, right? You're a real peacemaker when you see kids having conflicts.
I will sort it out. Yeah, you will step in and you're like, okay.
I'll be like, be quiet. I shall continue now.
Yeah, so what's your side? What's your side?
Meet in the middle. You're really, really good at that.
Yeah. But I think that comes to some degree from you and I resolving conflicts and things that you've seen as well.
Let me say one thing about friends. Yeah, yeah.
I typically try and get a hold and snag older people for friends.
So either adults or like teenagers, not like tiny little tweens like me.
But... Because I have these other kids.
They're both older than me. I was always the youngest in the group because I'm a December.
No, because we're older parents, right?
Well, no, I'm always the youngest in the group because I was a December.
Oh, you're a boy in December. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I think they were both older than me.
I think one of them at this time, I think one of them was 11, one of them was 10.
They just turned 10, and I was 9 at the time.
So, like, 1, 2, 3, if you know what I mean.
I was trying to say something.
So we were talking. They were talking.
I couldn't say anything because they were just talking too much and they'd talk over me.
And then they paused for like five seconds.
And I was like, now I can say something.
I talked for about approximately one second and they immediately both started talking over me.
So at one point, I don't really get angry much, but at one point I just kind of sashed out and was like, guys, please let me finish.
I've been trying to talk for like the last half hour.
So this is why I typically choose older people as friends.
I was like, are you trying to talk now, dude?
Totally fine, totally fine. No, but as older people, as friends, I will, because we kind of let each other talk equally, if you know what I mean.
Well, I'm a chatterbox, so I talk more.
I think you can tell, because I've probably talked for like three quarters this entire show.
Go ahead. Well, talking over kids, to me, it drives me crazy.
It's so rude. Like, you wouldn't do that with adults, but you, and I see this with other kids, not around most of the kids, most of the adults that we know, but a lot of times kids will just start talking and adults either don't listen or just talk over them.
That happens with me. Yeah, it's bad.
It's bad. Yeah, kids should be listened to, of course, right?
All right. So it says, applying the same pre-pandemic childcare solutions to your household might not make sense anymore from a safety and budget standpoint, but also because of the way we work, how much we spend and on what has changed, blah, blah, blah.
In plain speak, our priorities and finances may have shifted, and that's probably a good thing.
Perhaps this means you need to switch your childcare solutions up.
up go part-time versus full-time move to a daycare from a home care bring in a nanny ask support from your family and so on the ultimate goal here when reintroducing care is to ensure that you and your family are safe and healthy mentally and physically I'm okay with ask support sorry for trouble I'm okay with ask support from your family but I'm not okay with those other options Yeah, I think family's pretty good, pretty good, but...
If you have good family, too. There's just that bond between mother and child or father and child if the father's home.
Well, that's why... You can't replace it.
Maybe you're really low on money.
Maybe your job is closed down permanently because of COVID or something.
All this stuff is going on.
You need both parents to work just for a time until you find a better solution.
I'm perfectly fine with, what's it called, family.
Or if you have, like, an older friend who is...
Like, maybe your kid has an older friend or, like, eight or something.
They have, like, a 13 or 14-year-old friend...
Who has also trained to be a babysitter, then that's okay and stuff like that.
Or even other babysitters are nice.
Or occasionally, I guess, nanny.
But I like babysitters better. I don't know what's the huge difference, but that's fine.
Nanny? Well, nanny usually lives in or nanny comes every day.
Oh, okay. Well, I think babysitter is better.
But anyways, I just think that stuff.
But I don't like daycare. I think it's just daycare should not be a thing.
So, like, here's the thing, right?
So, the case against daycare is...
You're basically strangers are raising your kids.
Now, one of the things, like one of the most important aspects of parenting outside of just health and safety and all of that is the teaching of right and wrong, the teaching of values, right?
I mean, we've talked a lot about politics and economics and honesty and virtue and courage and all that kind of stuff.
And it's not like you go to daycare and they sit there and read the Communist Manifesto and talk about what's good or bad in the world.
And so what happens when you go to daycare, and I know this because they worked in one for years, all they're doing is managing you.
They'll play with you a bit.
Sometimes they'll make sure that you don't get hurt or they'll resolve fights to some degree.
Yeah, but probably better than teachers.
But they're not teaching any values.
Yeah, just like teachers.
They teach you math, and then they give you dumb things about salt.
I have a... I think in the Canadian curriculum, or whatever, we kind of use that as a base, and then we work off that and stuff like that.
But there's this whole English section, and it gives, like, all about salt.
And I'm like, why am I learning about salt?!
It's so dumb. I mean, I don't see it.
They have like, or whatever it's called, and it's like this color of purple, and it's like how it's created.
I'm like, look, that's interesting, but I'm not doing a whole four-page thing on it.
Well, see, here's the thing, though.
When you have, like when the government runs stuff, and the government is in charge of daycare standards and all of that, but when the government runs stuff, particularly schools, You have people from a lot of different belief systems, a lot of different moral systems in the same school.
And if you start teaching morality, like when I was a little kid, we used to recite the Lord's Prayer.
Because I went to a Christian school and I was Christian and I was in the choir and I went to church a couple of times a week and all of that.
And we would sing O Canada or listen to O Canada every morning when I was in school.
And that's because, of course, everybody was...
When I was growing up in boarding school, of course, everything was...
Everybody was a Christian, right?
Pretty much, yeah. So, I will tell you the Lord's Prayer.
Is it Scott? I'm kidding.
The Lord's Prayer is something that is very, very, very common, right?
So, Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be your name.
Hallowed means holy.
Now it says your kingdom come, but when we did it, it was thy.
Thy is an old way of saying your.
I think it's cooler and ancient.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
So do what God wants, right?
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our, now it says, and forgive us our debts, as we have forgiven our debtors.
But it used to be sins, right?
No, it used to be, and forgive us our trespasses.
So a trespass is when, to trespass is when you go on someone's property.
Oh yeah, tell them about that sign.
Oh yeah, we were walking. Yeah, you tell them.
This is funny.
Okay, so we are walking and there was like a storm a few days before and we were walking on this sign.
Don't worry, we turned around. But it was a sign and it said, O-assing.
Zero assing. Yes.
No, it just said, oh, asking. No, it says, oh, yeah, yeah.
But it looks like zero, too, right?
Half of the sign had been cut off just at that one spot, and it was, like, perfect.
You couldn't even see the end, really.
Yeah, yeah. And it's weird, because there was a field full of donkeys, but no asses.
So it was true.
It was actually true. I'm slapping you.
Yeah, oh, asking. Zero, asking.
It was a very funny sign.
Yeah, yeah. Now we have to make not available for kids.
So a trespass is when you go on something you're not supposed to.
And I think it's when you trespass in that sense is you've done something you shouldn't have.
So forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And deliver us from evil.
Gosh, this has really changed from when I was a kid.
How does that happen? Does God just drop in and change the text?
That is a...
The priests are now like, oh, we can change whatever we like now.
Well, they changed the O Canada used to be all thy sons command, but they said, well, what about the women, right?
So they changed all of that.
Was it all a transgender command?
I don't know. I don't know.
Something else. Okay, let me just see if I can find this.
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever and ever.
Amen. Cool.
Oh, deliver us from evil. Deliver us from evil.
Gosh, oh gosh. Let me just try it once more.
I probably could remember all of this, but I don't want to...
I may... Okay.
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever and ever.
Amen. That's the one, man.
That's the one. Church of England.
There we go. That's the one, right?
So, lead us not into temptation.
You know, we're all tempted. Like, you know, should I have another piece of pie?
Oh gosh, tempted. I have like one M&M and now I'm like, I have to finish the whole container.
But deliver us from evil.
So, I grew up really, really believing.
That there was evil in the world, right?
Now you're really not going to learn of that in daycare.
Now it's been kind of changed to, that's inappropriate, you know, which is not quite the same as evil.
Wait, what do you mean by that?
So that's inappropriate. Oh, like if you say something mean?
Yeah, or you make a rude joke about somebody's, you know, body or whatever.
That's inappropriate. When I was with some other kids, I was like, I think one of their moms was around or something, and they made this rude joke about someone who was bicycling by or something like that, and their mom came over and said, I forget their name actually, but they're like, let's say their name is Bob.
It's like, Bob, that is very inappropriate.
I'm going to need to have a nice long chat about that with you.
Oh, the conversations.
Can't I just get caned instead?
Yeah. So, yeah, so you won't learn a lot about good and evil.
You won't learn a lot about the reality of things in the world that can be quite dangerous.
You'll get a bunch of, well, don't offend anyone and don't upset anyone.
It's like, I don't want to go around offending people for the sake of it.
I don't want to go around upsetting, but I don't mind if people get upset by something I say that is true.
That's kind of on them, I think, not on me, right?
As long as it's important and reasonably put forward.
Yeah. Yeah, so I think it's tough.
I think that a government likes kids in daycare, gets women out of the workforce.
Because they get propaganda. No, they get a lot of propaganda, for sure.
They like kids in schools and they also like moms going to work, not just because the moms then have paid taxes, but also when the moms put their kids in daycare or schools, then the daycare teachers also work, get paid and then the daycare teachers also work, get paid and pay taxes.
Right.
And also the workers are unionized, which means it's a gang put together to raise wages and change working conditions.
It's usually protected by the government and those unions take money from the union members to negotiate on their behalf.
And they give a lot of that money to the government.
So lots of money flows into the government.
Three sources, really, when a woman doesn't stay home but goes to work.
Her taxes, the daycare workers' taxes, and the union dues, which a lot of money goes to political parties, particularly like the equivalent of the Democrats and all that.
So it's really beneficial.
Lots of propaganda, lots of money going to the government, and it's just...
That's what I've always said. If we could build society saying, okay, what's the best for kids to begin with?
Like, just make all our decisions based upon what's best for the kids.
Well, just interview kids saying, well, what do you like?
Do you want to be in daycare with a whole bunch of other kids and a stranger kind of raising you?
Or do you want one of your parents to be home?
Or just stuff like that.
And then they can do this whole presentation saying, well, kids, 90% of the kids or something preferred the parents to stay home.
Yeah, yeah. Well, the last thing I wanted to say too, and this is, you know, I've said this on my show a bunch of times, like a lot of parenting is preparing for the teenage years, right?
Yeah. And here's the problem, right?
So you put your kids in daycare, and sometimes the kids can be babies when they go into daycare.
Yeah, that's not good.
I say, if you're going to do something, keep your kid until they're like five or seven.
And then I get, because that's when you got all your...
And then put them to work in the salt mines.
Yes. No, I'm just saying, like, do that, and then if you have to go into work for a couple days, then put your kid in a daycare or something.
I'm just saying, that's the most you should do, but you should not put your kid in a daycare before they're at the age of seven.
The first five years are key. It's almost impossible to change the personality and big problems that may be there after the first five years.
It's an old saying, it's easier to raise strong children than to fix broken adults, right?
Yeah. So, no, I agree, but here's what happens, right?
So your kids go in early daycare, and most of their interactions are with their peers, right?
Not with adults, right? Now, can you imagine learning how to speak or spell from kids your own age?
No, that would be possible.
That would be crazy, right? Especially if they had really messed up versions of spelling.
They'd be like, oh, I know how to spell this.
Like, no, you don't. Yeah, because spell it like it sounds or whatever, right?
Yeah. So you put your kids in daycare and they have this horizontal focus, which means that they're not focused on younger kids because they're usually not around them that much.
They're not focused on adults because the daycare teachers are pretty busy, right?
So it's all peers, all about the peers.
So then what happens is when kids become teenagers, do you know what the parents say?
What? Well, you really should listen to us, not your peers.
Yeah. But you've had them for 10 years being trained to basically have to deal with their peers and the approval or disapproval that comes from their peers is important.
And when you have a bunch of kids around, a lot of times it's the least mature and sometimes the most aggressive who end up kind of running the show.
Because everyone's kind of nervous of them, right?
Like, they can be really mean, they can spread rumors, they can lie, they can cheat, and so people are like, okay, well, I'm not getting much help from the teachers, so I guess we'll just let what's called the lowest common denominator, which means the least mature person, sometimes the most aggressive or even abusive kid, is the one who kind of defines the whole social interaction.
And then what happens is that the kids get into their teen years, and the parents suddenly are like, no, no, no, you should listen to us, not your peers.
And it's like, but you... Put me in with my peers for 10 years, right?
Yeah. So, yeah, and then it's kind of too late because then what happens is if the parents try and say, oh, you know, we've got to spend a lot of quality time together, then what happens is the kids are like, oh, yeah, but you're only doing this because you're nervous I'm going to go drink and whatever, right?
Or take drugs or something, right?
So it's still all about you.
It's not about your relationship with me.
And it's really tough to try and rebuild things at that point.
It's kind of the parents' fault, so...
Yeah. Well, here's the thing.
Now, here's where I'm of two minds, right?
Now, you're more decisive about this kind of stuff than I am.
Yeah, parents' fault. Sorry? Parents' fault.
Parents' fault. Propaganda, no.
No, no, see, no, but you are, now, I'm more on the fence about this kind of stuff.
I think I lean more towards where you are.
Sure you do. Yeah.
If all the parents have ever heard is this trash saying, well, you need to be taken care of.
They can't possibly learn how to socialize unless they're with other children who they don't know or who are crazy sometimes, right?
Okay. Sorry, I get where you're going.
I'm sure they do too. No, but if they've only ever heard this propaganda, then I have a lot of forgiveness for people like that.
Okay, they've only ever heard this propaganda.
This is how dumb they have to be to not even think twice about there might be some other arguments out there.
Look on YouTube. Look on other people.
Say, arguments against daycare.
That's all you have to search up.
I mean, if it's not too much propaganda there.
But look at a couple articles.
There's a lot more access to information now than there ever has been.
Search one thing up. In the past.
Hang on a second. Oh, arguments against daycare?
Yes, search that up and see what shows up.
All right. Used to be me on YouTube.
All right. Against daycare.
What have we got? The uncomfortable truth about daycare.
Yes. It's true.
It's uncomfortable. Uncomfortable like sitting on a camel for too long.
Yes. All right.
Raising a child in America is more expensive today than it's ever been.
More than $245,000, not including college, blah, blah, blah.
Supporting a family often requires two incomes, blah, blah, blah.
Among married women, 57% with a child under the age of three worked at least part-time in 2014.
Nearly 74% of those women worked full-time.
That's a lot of work. Many good things to be said about professional progress, blah, blah, blah.
More women in the workforce means that more children need some form of childcare.
Two million fathers staying at home.
16% of stay-at-home parents in 2012.
Over half these men were either unemployed or disabled.
All right. Let's see here.
Daycare is associated with significant negative outcomes.
Yep. Are you dragging me over to your absolute parents just made a mistake?
As I said. You're right.
No, you make an excellent point.
It's their fault. You make an excellent point. It takes five minutes out of your life to skim through this article.
Many reporters may be reluctant to highlight such studies because, like, about the negative, right?
Because the politically charged nature of the issue, some may worry that acknowledging any downsides to daycare would impede the course of women's equality by inviting people to conclude that children would be better off if mothers dropped out of the workforce.
And you see, even how they phrase it here, you're not dropping out of the workforce.
It'd be like me saying, not that I got married, but I dropped out of the dating pool.
It's like, no, I'm not refraining from achieving a positive.
I don't think that matters too much.
I just think that they're getting the facts out right here.
And many journalists...
Maybe like the woman we just read from the star, sent their kids to daycare and therefore may be predisposed to overlook negative findings about a choice they have already made for their own children.
Now that's tough. Do you know for a long time people didn't even know that smoking was bad for you?
Or they had suspicion but they didn't have proof?
So when the truth finally came out, a lot of people freaked out because they're like, oh my god, I've been smoking and I thought it was okay and now it's not, right?
Yeah, no. Let's see here.
But it's still kind of the parent's fault.
I mean, they could have looked at five articles.
It could have taken out 20 minutes or 25 minutes or whatever of their life.
It's really not that hard if you're going to save your relationship with your kids.
I mean, I'm not saying that it's immediately going to go down.
And look, maybe you're going to have a really nice person in daycare.
But the chances are that you're not.
I mean, I'm not saying you're going to have a mean person.
I mean, you might. But the chances are that you're just going to have some person who says, Oh, that's inappropriate.
And that's all they say. And they don't try and sort out the conflict.
Right. Right.
So, I'm just going to have a quick skim here.
And... When we contrast the effects of full-time versus part-time employment in the first year, we find that in several instances, part-time employment is associated with significantly lower levels of child externalizing behavior problems at 36 months, 54 months in first grade.
So, if the woman works more, the child is more likely to have behavior problems.
Now, behavior problems can be very serious.
Yeah. They can be hurting animals.
They can be, an extreme example, setting fire to things.
That's pretty extreme. But it can be hitting, pushing, meanness, name-calling, spreading rumors, just what's called oppositional defiant disorder, which means you just fight back against everything no matter what.
Yeah, that's me. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. No, no. You're kind of pulling me over here.
Let's see here. Oh yes, so Quebec.
Quebec instituted a major shift about 25 years ago.
Quebec, which is the province just to the east of us where they speak French.
Right. Believe me, I know.
Quebec introduced full-day kindergarten for all five-year-olds and heavily subsidized daycare for four-year-olds.
Parents only had to pay $5 per day.
Five dollars per day. Isn't that wild, eh?
That's cheap. Oh my gosh.
The provision of five dollar a day childcare was extended to three year olds in 1998, two year olds in 1999, and all babies up to age two in the year 2000, right?
This increased childcare use in Quebec by more than one third.
That's a lot of kids.
That's a lot of kids, right? Ruining their lives.
So, the article concludes, there was a lot of studies on this, right?
They say, we report striking evidence that children's outcomes have worsened since the program was introduced.
Told you! We also find suggestive evidence that families we study became more stressed with the introduction of the program.
This is manifested in increased aggressiveness and anxiety for the children, more hostile, less consistent parenting for the adults, and worse adult mental health and relationship satisfaction.
That's bad, man.
That's bad.
That's bad stuff, right? Let's see here.
More recent studies confirm the profound, serious and big negative effects of the Quebec child care program.
Confirm, too. Yeah, yeah.
See you guys, read this article.
I'll put this on the show.
Yeah, link it. The estimates indicate that on average, children who gain access to subsidized childcare at early ages experience significantly larger negative impacts on motor social development scores, self-reported health status, and behavioral outcomes including physical aggression and emotional anxiety.
For kids. Do you know anxiety?
Yeah, I do know what it means.
Worried all the time, right? Yeah. So it's really, really bad.
And here's the thing too.
So 2015, do you remember what year the babies were put in?
What does that mean? 2000.
The year 2000. They allowed all babies.
But the babies put in in 2015, they're mid-teens, right?
There was a follow-up study which found that some of the negative effects observed among younger children exposed to the Quebec system persisted at even increased into the teen years.
Well... While the researchers found that the introduction of the Quebec daycare program had, quote, little impact on cognitive test scores like an IQ score, they found that the program's negative effects on non-cognitive skills appeared to strongly persist into school years and grow larger as children get older.
Problems such as anxiety, aggression, and hyperactivity were worse in older children than younger ones exposed to the Quebec system.
Moreover, there was a, quote, That's pretty wild.
And there's more crime among these kids.
Anyway, I'll put the whole thing in.
Yeah, put the link in. Okay, you're right.
I'll have to concede to what it is that you're saying.
See, when someone disagrees with you, you don't give up.
You force it into their brain.
Yeah, I hear what you're saying.
Wow, that's wild.
Last thing I'll say.
So cortisol is a stress hormone, fight or flight.
Among the infants, 3 to 16 months, 35% showed a rise in cortisol across the childcare day.
Whereas among the toddlers, 16 to 38 months, 71% showed a rise.
Elevated cortisol levels are often interpreted as bad news for physical and emotional health.
During periods of rapid brain development, contact with parents prevents elevations in cortisol, and this has been interpreted as nature's way of protecting the developing brain from the potentially bad effects of the steroid.
And so, yeah, you know, when you were a kid, you would...
It's funny now, so when you were a kid, you'd fall, you'd hurt yourself or whatever, right?
You know, we'd comfort you and, you know, all that, right?
But now what happens is, when you fall, you immediately comfort us.
Because what do you say? I'm like, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I'm good, I'm good. Be quiet. Yeah, yeah.
No, it's true. You do, right?
I keep falling. But we're at that pond.
Yeah, the pond. So, I know if you've seen our tadpole updates, I probably say this in every single show we do, but you should seriously look at them.
They're good. But...
Sorry.
There are these... There's this pond, and it has some rocks at the edge, and it's actually...
It's nice. It's like it was man-made, but it's really helpful to sit on stuff.
I actually do feel like people put that there.
But... I stepped on those rocks, and I did it like twice in a month.
I fell in. So one time, I actually think I still have the scars from the cuts.
I don't really care, but scars are cool, I think.
But there are, I fell, and I scratched myself on the rock, and it didn't look like I was bleeding.
It hurt, but it didn't feel like I was bleeding, and I was immediately, I was half about to fall into the water.
Like, I was starting to get wet, and I'm like, I'm fine, I'm fine, and then I Because your first concern now is like whether we, whether I was there if mom wasn't, but whether you were concerned, right?
Yeah. It's pretty nice, right? No, no, I'm not, I'm not, it's like, it's more like when mom realizes I'm hurt, she'll start obsessing over it.
I mean, it used to be I get candy.
Don't trouble me with your sentimentality, parents.
Well, it used to be I got candy.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we would sometimes.
No, sometimes. Just if I really hurt to make me feel better.
Sometimes the candy thing was a test to see how hurt you really were.
Not that you were faking it or anything, but if you didn't want candy because you were too upset, then we knew it was more serious, right?
That's all. Yeah. Well, when you're little, you can't really communicate that stuff too well.
Like if you're crying, because it could be like, say...
But if you're holding one arm that's come off in the other arm?
Yeah, I think you might still want candy.
I'm fine, I'm fine. Fine!
But if you're like...
Say at 5, sorry, like a scale of 1 to 10, 1 is not crying, it's just a tiny little scratch, and 10 is like really bad, like a bad cut.
At like 5, say you're like 6 or 7, at the scale of 1 to 10, at the number 5, you'll start crying.
If it's just at 5, you might still want a candy.
Maybe at 7, it's 50-50, it depends on how tasty the candy is.
But higher than that, you really don't want a candy.
You can't really communicate that when you're crying.
Little, but when you're older you kind of can.
That's right. Like when you got, you probably remember this, when you got stung by the jellyfish.
Oh, that hurt like crazy.
And then we came out and they poured vinegar on it and it got even worse.
Yeah, that really... And they didn't tell you.
They said it'll make it better, but it doesn't make it better eventually, but it hurts in the moment.
I think so. I don't even know if it made it better.
It looked like it started getting really wet and it started swelling afterwards.
I wanted to get you a piece of chocolate cake because we needed to find out how bad it was.
And I barely even ate it. Because we were in another country, so we didn't necessarily immediately want to go straight to the hospital because that can get kind of complicated if we have language barrier or whatever, right?
But... Well, I barely even ate any, but I had like one bite or something.
You didn't want it. But anyway, within an hour or two, you were okay to have a bite or two more.
So it was like, okay, she's getting better.
Okay, well listen, I think we'll close off here.
Thanks everyone for listening and really appreciate the feedback and the comments on the show.
So yeah, listen, I mean, if you have...
a kid in daycare just do the math you know I mean it's not all about the math I think it's really important to be home it's a couple of years it's not like the end of the world right I mean people spend a couple years in college people spend a couple years traveling it's fine to spend a couple years home with your kids but do the math figure out whether it makes sense find a way you know if you've got to move do things cheaper or whatever that's worth it but just if you can at all find a way at least try not to put them into daycare before the age of five Well, I think after that it's kind of like school, right?
Yeah, yes. But I'm just saying, try not to.
Yeah, yeah. Okay. Thanks everyone so much.
Or if you do, don't do it every day.
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Check out the tadpole updates.
And I would give Izzy the outro. Yes.
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