Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux - STEFAN MOLYNEUX DAD-FRAGS DEMON IN 'DOOM ETERNAL'
Aired: 2020-03-24
Duration: 46:04


=== Last Time... (14:23) ===

[00:00:02]  I've come here with chainsaws and arguments, but I'm afraid that I am in fact all out of arguments.
[00:00:12]  So we're going back into Doom Eternal, and I am looking forward to everyone's feedback on my gameplay.
[00:00:21]  Thank you so much, everyone.
[00:00:22]  Last time... For giving me all of this delightful feedback about how to play.
[00:00:27]  It was very, very helpful.
[00:00:30]  I'm coachable, you know?
[00:00:31]  I try and sort of teach the world quite a bit, and in return, the world tries to teach me back.
[00:00:37]  And that is good.
[00:00:39]  Turn your mouse DPI down.
[00:00:41]  The sensitivity is making you worse.
[00:00:42]  Are you saying I'm too sensitive?
[00:00:44]  Okay. They're making me worse?
[00:00:47]  I don't know. I'm going to have to say a no on that one, if you don't mind.
[00:00:51]  Right after saying I'm coachable.
[00:00:55]  But hey, thank you so much for not saying even worse.
[00:00:58]  That's truly delightful.
[00:01:01]  And let's see here.
[00:01:04]  Excellent connection. That's great.
[00:01:06]  I'm going to just take people's advice and just check on the audio here.
[00:01:14]  Everything's looking delightful.
[00:01:20]  You bought this game because of me.
[00:01:21]  Well, I suppose that's capitalism in action.
[00:01:23]  And I'm happy to be doing it.
[00:01:29]  All right.
[00:01:30]  Let's just check the old audio here one sec.
[00:01:33]  Audio is good.
[00:01:40]  Yeah, apparently I found out that there are these trolls who just sit there and complain about your audio and throw you off your game.
[00:01:47]  I just literally can't believe how people spend their precious and short existence.
[00:01:52]  It's truly wild.
[00:01:54]  Am I too tiny?
[00:02:14]  Is that what you're saying? Eating demon meat to survive the virus.
[00:02:18]  Yeah, I hear what you're saying. All right.
[00:02:22]  All right. I will try the DPI setting, because, you know...
[00:02:26]  Okay, there we go. Mouse sensitivity scaling.
[00:02:32]  What, take that down? Wow, that can go up pretty high.
[00:02:36]  Oh, I can't seem to change it. Why can I not change it?
[00:02:38]  Oh. Okay, I will try two.
[00:02:43]  Can I try two? Invert look?
[00:02:45]  Yeah, I've always been an invert look kind of guy.
[00:02:48]  Let's try that. Okay.
[00:02:50]  This will give me all of my excuses as to why I'll be bad first on.
[00:02:54]  All right. The audio is a bit glitchy.
[00:03:05]  Really? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that you're trolling.
[00:03:09]  Anybody else? No. Alright, so let us continue with our Fortress of Doom.
[00:03:13]  Oh, sorry, I meant to put a little screen thing over there to say ultra nightmare level.
[00:03:18]  I am a little too small.
[00:03:20]  I know I'm a little squished here.
[00:03:21]  It's because I've got a wide def camera and I'm kind of squishing it down because the camera audio stuff was pretty bad last time.
[00:03:27]  But we will jump in.
[00:03:33]  Video games are a waste of time.
[00:03:39]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:03:43]  Alright, hold on. I'll trust for just a moment.
[00:03:46]  Let me just play here and see how the audio is.
[00:03:48]  Yeah.
[00:04:04]  Yeah, seems fine to me.
[00:04:06]  *sad music* I have a...
[00:04:10]  Let me just check here.
[00:04:15]  I've got people who are listening in.
[00:04:17]  Craig is going to let me know on our Discord server how the audio is.
[00:04:21]  I just did a whole recording session before this, and it was fine.
[00:04:30]  Audio... Okay...
[00:04:35]  I'm just checking here before we start because, of course, I want to give you guys pristine and beautiful audio.
[00:04:40]  Now, I do have music on in the background.
[00:04:43]  This is the music of the game.
[00:04:45]  That might be a tiny issue.
[00:04:47]  That is better.
[00:04:53]  I've changed nothing.
[00:04:55]  All right. Okay, well, let's plunge in.
[00:04:58]  Is the video staying relatively in sync with the audio this time?
[00:05:03]  Yeah, that's better now.
[00:05:05]  Alright. Good.
[00:05:08]  Well, you know, we can't have...
[00:05:10]  Yeah, seems okay. Alright. So let's go on with our Fortress of Doom.
[00:05:13]  Yeah, I meant to actually take Hurt Me Plenty and replace it with Ultra Nightmare.
[00:05:17]  Boomer Doomer level. Alright, so let's continue game.
[00:05:21]  Load it up here.
[00:05:22]  And.
[00:05:26]  I do not have the means to locate the second hell priest.
[00:05:33]  Your celestial locator is missing a component.
[00:05:36]  Alright, here we go.
[00:05:40]  Replace the replacement.
[00:05:40]  Thank you.
[00:05:41]  Thank you.
[00:05:45]  Portal destination confirmed.
[00:05:46]  Exalter! The flame belch is now ready for your approval.
[00:05:55]  Where do you want to end?
[00:05:57]  Where do you want to go for dinner? Let's go to a place called the flame belch.
[00:06:00]  Alright, let me just get back in the chat here.
[00:06:04]  Sounds good. All right.
[00:06:05]  Appreciate that. And let's go hunt ourselves some bad dudes.
[00:06:11]  Okay, so there's something flickering over there.
[00:06:13]  I just got to tell you, again, I like exploring a little bit.
[00:06:17]  Look at that. That artistry is just amazing.
[00:06:21]  Again, I started with ASCII games.
[00:06:23]  So, you know, when you've had the long arc of a half century plus, you really do get a chance to see just how amazing...
[00:06:31]  The art is in these games.
[00:06:34]  It's just, look at that stuff hovering around and smooth it is and all that kind of stuff.
[00:06:39]  I don't know. It's pretty wild.
[00:06:42]  It's pretty lovely.
[00:06:44]  Alright. So let's have a little bit of a look around.
[00:06:51]  And, oh, there's something swirling up there.
[00:06:54]  Little flame stuff here.
[00:06:55]  You know, it's somebody's job to figure out how many sparks there are.
[00:06:58]  And look at this. Again, it's just a little detail here that I think is kind of cool, which is when you go up close to something, your gun goes to one side.
[00:07:09]  I guess they had to figure out exactly how that was going to work either, right?
[00:07:16]  All the red dots are Corona.
[00:07:18]  All right.
[00:07:18]  And you know what's funny, too?
[00:07:19]  Because last time we were having all these audio thingy things, but the chat, oddly enough, was like way behind what it is that I was doing, which was kind of strange.
[00:07:27]  So.
[00:07:27]  Too slow.
[00:07:35]  Let's see here.
[00:07:40]  I could take the resolution down a smidge, I suppose.
[00:07:46]  Alright, I'm just going to check in with my other people here.
[00:07:49]  It's a little off. About a second off.
[00:07:52]  Alright. Well, that's okay.
[00:07:55]  Alright, so here I am, of course, enjoying the spinny, hypnotic, I don't know, artificial, floating, rotating penis of masculinity.
[00:08:05]  And let's go in here.
[00:08:07]  Oh, what is this? Wait, I'm coming up close.
[00:08:09]  Let's do our number use. Alright.
[00:08:11]  Oh, here's the flame belch!
[00:08:13]  What do we have here, I wonder?
[00:08:17]  What do we have here for the Flame Belch?
[00:08:20]  Press end to set enemies on fire.
[00:08:22]  Actually, that's kind of...
[00:08:23]  Press fire to set enemies on end.
[00:08:25]  They will drop armor shards, kill them, and they will drop the most armor.
[00:08:30]  Flame Belch demons in groups to maximize the number of shards dropped.
[00:08:35]  Flame Belch gradually recharges over time.
[00:08:38]  Alright, so what's this?
[00:08:40]  Oh, these dudes. Okay.
[00:08:41]  Oh! Ooh! Ooh, that's pretty.
[00:08:45]  I mean, you know, pretty good.
[00:08:47]  So we can flame these guys.
[00:08:49]  We get all this cool stuff.
[00:08:50]  So first we flame them, and of course what I do have to remember, or I guess what I do have to hear, is a lot of people were talking to me about the chainsaw.
[00:09:00]  Oh, there's one more thing to get here.
[00:09:01]  Okay, so that's cool. So we've got this.
[00:09:04]  Ooh! You know, I can tell you why this game appeals to me so much.
[00:09:09]  It's delightful. What appeals to me so much here is that this, you see, is almost exactly what happens when I get a good idea.
[00:09:19]  UBB! Oh!
[00:09:21]  It hadn't recharged yet. Oh, that was very, very not showman-like.
[00:09:25]  All right, let's go back and get it in a sec.
[00:09:27]  Okay, what's this dude? Sentinel Crystal Tutorial.
[00:09:31]  This is the Sentinel Crystal selection screen.
[00:09:33]  Use a Sentinel Crystal to permanently upgrade your health, armor, or ammo capacity.
[00:09:37]  Alright, so what am I going to use here?
[00:09:41]  Have you guys played this? What's the story?
[00:09:46]  What's the story with...
[00:09:48]  Press CTRL-C to cough on them.
[00:09:49]  Yeah, yeah, I get that. 15 frames per second.
[00:09:55]  Strange but true. Pretty much is exactly the same setup as I had before.
[00:10:00]  I'll tell you what though. Maybe I should turn off the video.
[00:10:05]  It's kind of small, right? Do you guys really care about the video?
[00:10:08]  Probably not much, right? Okay.
[00:10:10]  So let's see here. Napalm Belch, Belch Armor Boost, Armor for Blood.
[00:10:15]  Blood Punch resource gets pulled in from...
[00:10:17]  Ooh, Loot Magnet! You know what?
[00:10:18]  I gotta tell you. Get Belch Armor Boost.
[00:10:22]  You know, that's a good one, but I will tell you this.
[00:10:25]  That I do have a bit of a thirst to get the resource magnet.
[00:10:31]  Alright. Get Loot Magnet or Flame.
[00:10:33]  Okay, I will get the Loot Magnet.
[00:10:35]  Okay, it's best place to continue. Four upgrades available for each category.
[00:10:39]  Upgraded blah blah blah.
[00:10:41]  Okay, got it. Unlocking two linked upgrades gives you a bonus upgrade.
[00:10:46]  Oh, this is starting to feel like doing taxes, man.
[00:10:48]  Oh my gosh. All right.
[00:10:50]  Let's try this.
[00:10:53]  Unlock. Oh, I hold this down to unlock, right?
[00:10:56]  All right.
[00:10:57]  Ammo upgrade. Whoa.
[00:11:01]  I like that. That's how you get stuff in this world.
[00:11:03]  You just punch it.
[00:11:04]  All right.
[00:11:08]  Here we go. Configure the mission teleporter.
[00:11:10]  Okay. I don't know what that means, but...
[00:11:12]  Oh, that's the thing I punched.
[00:11:13]  Oh, shards. I like that.
[00:11:14]  All right. Oh, look at that.
[00:11:16]  Somebody put in a little...
[00:11:18]  Oh, you can't... Hey, hey, man, that's cheating.
[00:11:20]  That is totally cheating.
[00:11:21]  I should be able to jump there.
[00:11:23]  But it's not letting me jump there.
[00:11:25]  Invisible force fields. Wait, do they?
[00:11:27]  No, that's the glass as a whole, right?
[00:11:29]  See, to me, that's kind of cheaty, right?
[00:11:30]  Because you should be able to jump places, but they just put in these invisible barriers where you can't go any further.
[00:11:35]  Although that is kind of pretty. So let's just put it that way.
[00:11:38]  He's got the whole world in his brain.
[00:11:41]  Ooh. You want to donate to Free Domain Radio.
[00:11:45]  Wait, wait. You want to donate at freedomain.com.
[00:11:48]  Wait. Donate.
[00:11:50]  Donate. Double jump. Donate.
[00:11:51]  All right. Okay, that's enough of that.
[00:11:53]  Or is it? Let's check our donation metrics.
[00:11:57]  So, okay. Wait, wait.
[00:11:59]  I have a good idea.
[00:12:01]  Oh, that's what happens when I have a good idea.
[00:12:04]  A flame belch of reason and evidence into the universe.
[00:12:07]  Okay, can I jump up there? No, a bit of a cheaty thing.
[00:12:09]  All right. Now, which game? Oh, yeah.
[00:12:11]  So, I had on the bottom right of the screen here, I did have...
[00:12:16]  Flame belch is clutch for keeping armor up.
[00:12:22]  Use it liberally. Yeah.
[00:12:24]  So, down on the right here, this is...
[00:12:27]  Oh, flamebelch has come back.
[00:12:28]  Okay, so I do that.
[00:12:30]  Oh, there's a refill bar on the bottom right.
[00:12:32]  That's where my face was before.
[00:12:34]  Oh, yeah, and page down is my chainsaw.
[00:12:37]  Okay, and numlock is punch.
[00:12:41]  Okay, so I can't remember which weapon I have.
[00:12:43]  Uh-oh, hey, wait. Why can't I go through here?
[00:12:45]  Have I not done something yet? Do I need to do something here?
[00:12:49]  No. How about this one?
[00:12:51]  No. All right, so it's something I haven't done yet.
[00:12:54]  Something burp. Oh, something back here.
[00:12:58]  Alright, what do we got here?
[00:13:01]  Push the ball! Get the flame belch.
[00:13:04]  Hey, it's like when your balls drop when you're going through puberty.
[00:13:11]  Alright, I'm supposed to tab something there, right?
[00:13:15]  Arsenal. Oh yeah, so this one, hold mouse 2 to turn the combat...
[00:13:22]  Okay, I wasn't doing that stuff.
[00:13:23]  People were nagging me about that, which is quite right.
[00:13:25]  Which is quite right. Backstory?
[00:13:27]  I'll let you guys do that on your own.
[00:13:28]  Okay. Do I go in here?
[00:13:30]  Whee! All right.
[00:13:39]  Real men play Animal Crossing?
[00:13:41]  What is that, Crossy Road? I gotta tell you, Frogger does not seem to me like a real man kind of game.
[00:13:46]  Alright. Ooh, Sparky Sparks!
[00:13:50]  Ugh! There's me!
[00:13:52]  There's your screenshot! Oh, look at this!
[00:13:56]  It's like the death of religion in the West.
[00:13:58]  There's my paladin character from Dungeons& Dragons.
[00:14:01]  Let me tell you! I played him for about a year and a half, and he became a demigod at the end.
[00:14:06]  His name was Argoth. May he rest in peace.
[00:14:08]  Okay, so we've got this dude.
[00:14:10]  You know what?
[00:14:12]  He's not here because he's heading to the Greek border to repel the Turkish invaders.
[00:14:17]  And here we have some sort of symbol.
[00:14:21]  I believe that's a Falun Gong symbol.
[00:14:22]  It says beyond here. Here's the live Corgan Market.

=== Stuck Inside (15:27) ===

[00:14:26]  What do we got here? Broken Sword.
[00:14:29]  You know, I hate it when you get in-game ads for Viagra.
[00:14:33]  That is totally Skyrim.
[00:14:35]  I've got a Skyrim character up there somewhere.
[00:14:37]  Now, is it going to let me jump out?
[00:14:39]  No. Okay, well, that's not cheating, but that's okay.
[00:14:43]  And all these things, they always have this moon so close, right?
[00:14:47]  They have this moon so close that the whole thing would be torn apart.
[00:14:51]  Now, here's a nice little... Ooh, what's that?
[00:14:54]  Oh, you know what? I probably could jump off here.
[00:14:55]  I shouldn't, though, right? No. I shouldn't test that.
[00:14:59]  Uh... Oh! Skullhead is off to one side.
[00:15:02]  Oh, my... Oh! Wait.
[00:15:04]  Warhammer meets Dungeons& Dragons?
[00:15:07]  What is the story behind this?
[00:15:09]  Why are these people robots and demons?
[00:15:11]  Oh, well. Just look to bad guys.
[00:15:13]  All right. And, yeah, these moons are so big that the whole gravitational well would, like, tear things apart.
[00:15:18]  They couldn't possibly be that close.
[00:15:21]  All right. What do we got here?
[00:15:25]  Okay. Oh, first logic puzzle.
[00:15:28]  I gotta double jump somewhere, right?
[00:15:29]  Okay. Oops.
[00:15:31]  No, that was a little too close to the edge there.
[00:15:33]  You know, I actually get a little bit of...
[00:15:34]  when that happens.
[00:15:38]  All right. What have we got here?
[00:15:40]  So where am I gonna jump to?
[00:15:41]  Oh, I gotta jump to one of these two things, right?
[00:15:43]  That's my guess. And I haven't figured out the run thing yet.
[00:15:46]  Sorry, this is like the least action-packed game so far, but we'll get it going.
[00:15:50]  All right. Well, that didn't work.
[00:15:54]  Alright, let's try that again. It took some health for me though, didn't it?
[00:15:58]  Alright, and what am I missing here?
[00:16:00]  Okay, is there any other place to go here?
[00:16:02]  Can I jump anywhere here? No, it's not letting me out there.
[00:16:05]  I bet you it's not any of these ones back here.
[00:16:08]  Can't go anywhere around the edge here, right?
[00:16:10]  No. Can't go anywhere around the edge here.
[00:16:13]  Alright, help me people! Jump!
[00:16:15]  Yeah, that's pretty helpful, thank you.
[00:16:17]  Test it. Alright.
[00:16:19]  Oh, wait a minute. I've got some wall-climby thing, right?
[00:16:25]  It's a space station.
[00:16:27]  Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, I can get the robot thing there, right?
[00:16:29]  Okay, sorry. I'm halfway between dungeons.
[00:16:31]  Oh wait, am I supposed to jump that far?
[00:16:34]  Oh, wait! Oh, there's something down here.
[00:16:35]  Okay. Whoa!
[00:16:38]  There we go. Ooh!
[00:16:41]  I got a secret!
[00:16:42]  Okay, so I'm supposed to go there.
[00:16:46]  Now what? I can't jump all the way down there, right?
[00:16:52]  Um... Okay, so I came...
[00:16:54]  I don't know why to get an extra life.
[00:16:55]  Oh, that's because in part of the game you can get an extra life.
[00:16:58]  Okay, can't go there. Can't go there.
[00:17:02]  Am I supposed to jump and numb zero on this?
[00:17:07]  No! Alright.
[00:17:13]  Here we go. Okay, hang on.
[00:17:22]  So I gotta maybe jump here.
[00:17:24]  Okay. Let me just see here.
[00:17:31]  Are you playing on that low in FPS or is it just the stream?
[00:17:34]  Okay, hold on a sec here. I'm wondering if I can change the broadcast settings on YouTube.
[00:17:46]  Can I change that?
[00:17:47]  No, I can't. Is it...
[00:17:51]  Alright, let me just go in here.
[00:17:55]  Should I change the FPS? You can climb the broken white wall.
[00:18:03]  Oh, okay. Alright. Ah, there we go.
[00:18:09]  Alright, so I climb there.
[00:18:11]  And you can see that.
[00:18:14]  I can't climb up.
[00:18:15]  I assume I climb down. Down, down, down.
[00:18:18]  And then... Oh, do I jump over to that thing?
[00:18:22]  Or that one. Probably that one.
[00:18:25]  Oh, hang on. Oh, I'm down here somewhere, right?
[00:18:29]  But I'm stuck in here somewhere.
[00:18:31]  Stick to the white wall. Shoot something already.
[00:18:33]  I would love to, but they've got me doing this Rayman stuff here.
[00:18:36]  Alright. Uh, what the...
[00:18:41]  Am I stuck inside somewhere here?
[00:18:48]  Alright. That's kind of freaky.
[00:18:52]  Why am I inside this? Okay, that was not healthy.
[00:18:57]  Alright, let's try that again. And stick on the wall.
[00:19:01]  Okay, if I can't climb up, I assume I climb down.
[00:19:03]  And then, do I jump over there?
[00:19:05]  Am I glitching here?
[00:19:13]  Am I stuck here? Oh man, this is terrible.
[00:19:21]  What's going on here? I think I'm glitching.
[00:19:25]  White wall on right.
[00:19:26]  Okay, that's helpful.
[00:19:28]  Let me try here. But I'm stuck.
[00:19:33]  Alright, try that again. Yeah, I'm getting there.
[00:19:38]  Okay, so I've got on the white wall here.
[00:19:41]  And then...
[00:19:43]  Right wall.
[00:19:44]  Okay, I'm there. Oh, there's a better delay in the chat here.
[00:19:47]  Let me go here. Um, so I climb down here.
[00:19:56]  No, I think the game is glitchy.
[00:19:58]  Hang on. Yeah, I've glitched it.
[00:20:02]  It's glitchy, right? Alright.
[00:20:05]  It's not too impressive just yet.
[00:20:06]  Alright, let's try that again. It's not a great add so far.
[00:20:14]  Let's see here.
[00:20:16]  I'm just gonna go back to where the texture looks different.
[00:20:23]  Yeah, yeah, no, I get that, but from here...
[00:20:26]  Do I jump?
[00:20:27]  Am I supposed to be jumping down?
[00:20:32]  Good lord. Okay, you guys gotta help me here.
[00:20:35]  I'm not getting something or other.
[00:20:38]  Alright. Yeah, jump onto the white marble beam.
[00:20:41]  Oh, is there a beam? Alright, let me try this again.
[00:20:45]  Alright, I'm on the wall.
[00:20:47]  Where is the beam? Jump on the bark-looking material and grapple onto it.
[00:20:57]  Do it, do it. Hey, I'd love to.
[00:20:58]  Can I jump there? Okay, so can I go in here?
[00:21:00]  Okay, so here I was already, right?
[00:21:05]  All right, hang on. I'm going back to my Discord server.
[00:21:07]  What have I got? Anyone helping here?
[00:21:13]  Let's see here. Um...
[00:21:18]  Okay, so the white thing.
[00:21:19]  And then I don't think I can jump anywhere there, right?
[00:21:21]  Can I just jump down to here?
[00:21:23]  No. Alright. Alright.
[00:21:29]  Good lord. Alright.
[00:21:34]  So we're here. We're here.
[00:21:36]  Okay, I can jump to there.
[00:21:37]  And I'm just not sure where to jump to.
[00:21:39]  That's the problem. I can't jump anywhere down here.
[00:21:44]  Um... Now people, are you saying grapple?
[00:21:50]  You glitched inside the wall.
[00:21:52]  Yeah, yeah, that's not good, right?
[00:21:58]  This is what these blind plays are like, right?
[00:22:00]  Okay, so...
[00:22:01]  The ball hates death.
[00:22:07]  Super Boomer reference.
[00:22:08]  No, no kidding, eh? Alright, going back.
[00:22:12]  Help. Help.
[00:22:17]  I can't jump that high, right?
[00:22:19]  Okay, should I jump back to the wall here?
[00:22:22]  Okay. Someone here.
[00:22:25]  Oh, I see. Get to that one.
[00:22:28]  I see. Okay, now we're getting it.
[00:22:31]  Okay, I got it. Whoa.
[00:22:34]  I got it. Alright, Ghost Dog has returned and Daddy needs some help.
[00:22:40]  Ooh. Oh, I can blow these guys up, right?
[00:22:45]  Yeah, I will take that.
[00:22:47]  Oh, now let's get that. All right.
[00:22:48]  Got it. Now we're playing with gas.
[00:22:50]  Sorry, I got a little glitched there.
[00:22:52]  Whoa. Okay, something's going there.
[00:22:54]  All right. We're back.
[00:22:57]  We're in the game now, baby.
[00:23:01]  All right. Oh, so this is a double jump thing, right?
[00:23:08]  Alright, there we go.
[00:23:10]  And this is a punch-the-wall dude, right?
[00:23:13]  Impressive. I am not at all insecure about penis size.
[00:23:17]  Alright, although that's a little rotted of that penis thing there.
[00:23:19]  Alright. Boom.
[00:23:20]  Ooh, pretty. What have we got going on back here?
[00:23:23]  Yeah, always go and look for the cool stuff in the back.
[00:23:27]  Exultia. Yeah, what's the story with that?
[00:23:29]  With treachery... What treachery comes from our darkest selves, driven by greed and want, for I have been deceived by the...
[00:23:37]  I think you misspelled Pelosi.
[00:23:38]  They came north with I, the priest's allies, to our cause against the Khan, Mikr, and her unscrupulous methods.
[00:23:44]  Okay, fine. View image, very pretty.
[00:23:48]  And let's go back to the shooting-y stuff.
[00:23:51]  All right. Thank you guys for your patience.
[00:23:54]  I'm not super great at platformers.
[00:23:56]  All right. Oh, look at that.
[00:23:58]  Nazgul! No, I don't know what that is.
[00:24:01]  Oh, man, this is just incredible.
[00:24:03]  Look at that artistry. You know, all of those guys who were just scribbling away in their notebooks in science class, they're the guys who are making it a huge amount of money.
[00:24:17]  All right. So, chainsaw, what am I going to remember that?
[00:24:20]  Okay, my chainsaw is page down.
[00:24:24]  Yeah, that's right. Okay. I've got to remember the chainsaw.
[00:24:26]  Oh, dude! Dude!
[00:24:29]  Double plus on good.
[00:24:31]  Whoa, did you just blow up?
[00:24:38]  There we go.
[00:24:44]  I'm going to remember the chainsaw thing, right?
[00:24:45]  Okay.
[00:24:49]  Whoa. Dudes!
[00:24:51]  Oh, I need a...
[00:24:53]  Let's see what we got here.
[00:24:59]  All right. Alright, look at that. We're still alive.
[00:25:19]  We're all a little shocked.
[00:25:22]  Oh, look at that. My health's back.
[00:25:23]  I just have no armor going on.
[00:25:28]  Are those glasses just for fashion?
[00:25:30]  Dude, no. Not a bit.
[00:25:31]  Whoa. Whoa.
[00:25:35]  You have quite a lot of health there, my friend.
[00:25:42]  Alright. Okay, that was exciting.
[00:25:49]  Let me get more stuff here.
[00:25:51]  Oh, let me get a little bit of those shards.
[00:25:54]  By the way, I just wanted to mention to you, my friends, please do your very best.
[00:26:01]  This is the most offensive thing I've seen on this channel.
[00:26:03]  Oh, come on, dude! There's way more offensive stuff on this channel.
[00:26:11]  Now, doors to nowhere?
[00:26:13]  Nope. Alright, so what weapons do we have here?
[00:26:17]  So I've got just a little bit of shells.
[00:26:20]  I've got these nail gunny things.
[00:26:23]  Oh yeah, so for this...
[00:26:25]  Now...
[00:26:27]  Oh, let's get some more shells.
[00:26:33]  A little more health. Okay, ghost dog.
[00:26:36]  Way of the samurai is kind of strange over there.
[00:26:39]  I'm not sure what the story is with that.
[00:26:40]  The ball glitch must be Trump's fault.
[00:26:50]  Man, you guys are far behind.
[00:26:51]  What can I tell you? Alright.
[00:27:02]  I feel like I need to wait until the chat catches up.
[00:27:09]  Okay, wow, this is just lovely.
[00:27:13]  Alright, we've got Armor Dude here.
[00:27:16]  We've got, what do we have, Axe Dude here.
[00:27:20]  Are you pleased to see me, or is that just a canoe in your cardpiece?
[00:27:22]  Alright, what else do we have here?
[00:27:25]  And we have Cage of Armor.
[00:27:30]  Uh, Zero, what do we got here?
[00:27:33]  Blood Punch Acquired.
[00:27:36]  Uh, right? What's the story with this?
[00:27:38]  A melee attack that deals extra damage.
[00:27:42]  Bless num0 or mouse4 to unleash it.
[00:27:46]  Uh, what does that mean? Okay, so...
[00:27:49]  I think I already did this blood punch, right?
[00:27:58]  Oh, this is something I've been doing from the beginning, right?
[00:28:00]  Alright, blood punch we can do.
[00:28:10]  Okay.
[00:28:21]  Alright, blood punch we can handle.
[00:28:26]  Ooh, something floating around here.
[00:28:27]  Wait, wait. One up.
[00:28:31]  Seven of those and I have a refreshing drink on my hands.
[00:28:33]  Okay, wait, wait, but how do we get back there?
[00:28:36]  We are caged in here for sure, right?
[00:28:37]  If you played Prince of Persia, that platform would look elementary to you.
[00:28:47]  you I'm not playing a console.
[00:28:51]  I'm not playing on a console, too.
[00:28:53]  This is a PC. Mouse and keyboard, man.
[00:28:57]  Mouse and keyboard. That's the only way to go.
[00:28:59]  All right. How do I get this dude?
[00:29:01]  Oh, well. I think we're going to have to leave that one go by.
[00:29:04]  So I've got maximum armor and maximum health.
[00:29:06]  Okay. Low ammo.
[00:29:07]  Okay, so let's get ourselves a new weapon here.
[00:29:09]  Hmm.
[00:29:20]  Oh, there was another dude here.
[00:29:29]  Whoa, whoa, dude!
[00:29:33]  Okay, so...
[00:29:35]  Oh. Alright, everything floats.
[00:29:38]  Everything floats.
[00:29:41]  Not the most complicated puzzle I've ever seen.
[00:29:44]  jump at the right time.
[00:29:46]  time.

=== New Weapon Needed (09:37) ===

[00:29:53]  Wow, that did quite a lot of nasty stuff to everyone.
[00:30:01]  Alright.
[00:30:02]  Runes enhance your abilities or enable new abilities.
[00:30:06]  You have limited rune slots, so choose the runes that fit your playstyle.
[00:30:10]  Okay, is there a rune that allows me to bypass all jumping puzzles?
[00:30:13]  That's all I want to know. All right.
[00:30:17]  Space to dismiss. Glory kills faster.
[00:30:22]  Speed boost.
[00:30:24]  One death blow.
[00:30:25]  Ooh, that's not bad. Ah, that's good.
[00:30:29]  I don't care about the air movement.
[00:30:35]  Kill by blood punch.
[00:30:36]  Okay, you know what I like? Stagger state.
[00:30:38]  Yeah, that's good. I like that.
[00:30:42]  So they stay longer in stagger state.
[00:30:44]  Okay, we can look at that. La la la la la la la.
[00:30:49]  That's right. First time I touched the fountainhead.
[00:30:51]  This is exactly what happened to me, my friends.
[00:30:54]  This is the rune tab of the dossier.
[00:30:56]  Purchase runes. Oh, can I flip them around?
[00:31:03]  Okay, cool. That is cool.
[00:31:07]  Alright. Okay.
[00:31:11]  What's all this stuff? I'm going in here?
[00:31:13]  Yeah, I'm going in here, right? Oh no!
[00:31:16]  No more jumping puzzles! It's like this IQ test that I keep...
[00:31:19]  Ooh! Keep failing. Alright, so here's the test of the non-aggression principle.
[00:31:23]  See, he's shooting first, right?
[00:31:25]  So because he's shooting first...
[00:31:27]  Sorry. It's only return fire.
[00:31:30]  Return fire, perfectly morally acceptable.
[00:31:34]  In the non-aggression principle.
[00:31:36]  Self-defense is double plus good.
[00:31:37]  Alright. What the heck is that bloaty thing?
[00:31:46]  Whoa! Okay, sorry. Little jumpy!
[00:31:48]  Little jumpy. Oh, that's cool.
[00:31:50]  So the kids have been here playing.
[00:31:52]  Alright. Popscotch of Doom.
[00:31:55]  Popscotch of Doom. Worst punk band name in the world.
[00:31:58]  Alright. What's this? Why do I feel like a barb of death is about to hit me from behind?
[00:32:04]  Alright. Because the mainstream media is still active.
[00:32:07]  Here we go. Here we go.
[00:32:09]  Whoa. Alright.
[00:32:12]  Oh, lighting effects. They are my deities.
[00:32:14]  Okay, do I just jump down from here?
[00:32:16]  Whoa! Do I just jump down from here?
[00:32:18]  I probably do, right? I can do that.
[00:32:20]  Okay. Maybe just hide in here for a while, set up a tent, roast some marshmallows, play some Twister, all that kind of stuff.
[00:32:31]  Is this on Hardcore?
[00:32:32]  No. This is on Hurt Me Plenty.
[00:32:36]  Because apparently what you have to do is you have to choose the level that is associated with your dating preferences.
[00:32:42]  So Hurt Me Plenty is the way to go.
[00:32:43]  All right. I'm going here, going down.
[00:32:46]  Whoa! I've floated around.
[00:32:48]  Now, I very much assume bad things are going to happen from here, right?
[00:32:51]  Yeah. Okay, so let's get the lay of the land and let's see...
[00:32:54]  Oh, blow that dude up.
[00:32:59]  Okay. Oh, this is my runaway!
[00:33:02]  Runaway! Alright, get me some health.
[00:33:11]  Get this dude. Oh, I blood punched someone.
[00:33:14]  Excellent. Good for me. Just a little bit here.
[00:33:18]  Get some ammo. Get some of this stuff.
[00:33:21]  Oh, I'm already at health. I got my health back.
[00:33:25]  Whoa. Okay. So, I think it's just this dude left.
[00:33:29]  Oh, low ammo. Okay. Can't blow up.
[00:33:33]  I hate to waste it, but I'm going to.
[00:33:37]  Alright, so now, if I hold down the right mouse, it now goes into a different fire mode, right?
[00:33:43]  All right.
[00:33:44]  Oh, I think that's rapid fire mode.
[00:33:49]  All right.
[00:34:00]  I feel like there should be more in here.
[00:34:05]  Or should I just enjoy the fireworks?
[00:34:09]  Oh, oh, I knew there was something else in here!
[00:34:12]  Alright, come my friend.
[00:34:13]  Let us hug. Enough of this fighting.
[00:34:16]  Enough of this fighting. Let me donate something to you.
[00:34:20]  Okay, a little lead. Um...
[00:34:22]  Alright, I think that's it, right?
[00:34:26]  Sorry, I'm a bit of an explore bot when it comes to this stuff.
[00:34:30]  Oh, so for this weapon, if I hold down the right...
[00:34:32]  Does it tell me what I have?
[00:34:35]  That's what I'd like to know. Alright.
[00:34:40]  Go up here. Oh, there's one of those hackmans from hell.
[00:34:54]  Oh, I'm going to get over there though, right?
[00:34:56]  Are you going to come to me?
[00:34:58]  Come on! He's got a flame belch.
[00:35:02]  Whoa! Alright, let's not stay too far away.
[00:35:09]  Sorry, wrong key, wrong key!
[00:35:11]  Alright. We have torn apart the Pac-Man.
[00:35:16]  Alright, so there's a dude up there.
[00:35:18]  There's a dude there.
[00:35:21]  So I'm gonna switch weapons here and I'm going to Alright got that dude Now, I assume it's on from here.
[00:35:36]  Can I lure anyone in here to get blown up by this dude?
[00:35:39]  I think so. Whoa! Oh!
[00:35:40]  Cacodemon! Run away!
[00:35:42]  Run away! Okay, get this dude.
[00:35:45]  Get some health. Keep moving.
[00:35:47]  Just keep running. Just keep...
[00:35:49]  Whoa! And this dude.
[00:35:50]  Get this health. And get this dude.
[00:35:58]  This dude. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:36:01]  You're very Pac-Man-y. Alright, here we go.
[00:36:04]  Let's run away up here.
[00:36:07]  Can I lure this dude?
[00:36:08]  Ah, no, let's just...
[00:36:10]  Whoa. Oh, dear.
[00:36:11]  Am I... Am I... Oh, extra life activated.
[00:36:14]  Oh, good for me. Alright. But the question is, does the extra life come with any particular...
[00:36:18]  Oh, I need to get some ammo, right?
[00:36:20]  So let's get this dude. Alright, what do I get from this?
[00:36:24]  Um, enough, I hope.
[00:36:26]  Extra life activated, because that's not in any way cheating.
[00:36:29]  Oh, here's the ammo I'm looking for.
[00:36:31]  These are not the droids you're looking for!
[00:36:34]  Alright. Ah, craning my neck!
[00:36:41]  Oh, I should pull him down.
[00:36:43]  I'm looking- Oh, what the- I thought I got this dude.
[00:36:46]  No, I guess it's another dude. Oh, I did not deserve that.
[00:36:54]  I did not deserve that at all.
[00:36:58]  And all the people who play on any remotely difficult level are shaking their heads.
[00:37:02]  And listen, I can completely understand that.
[00:37:04]  And I sympathize. I really do.
[00:37:05]  All right. Oh, this dude.
[00:37:07]  Oh, man. Okay, so there's someone else.
[00:37:09]  Oh. So I need to build up my health a little bit before taking on this dude.
[00:37:16]  Whoa. Oh, that?
[00:37:29]  I didn't deserve that either.
[00:37:30]  I gotta tell you, I'm not sure I deserve any of this.
[00:37:33]  Ah, complete all the encounters in the mission to earn weapons points.
[00:37:42]  The demonic corruption meter tracks the points you've earned.
[00:37:45]  Each mission has ten weapon points total.
[00:37:50]  Spend weapon points in the Arsenal tab in the dossier to upgrade your weapon mods.
[00:37:55]  Open the dossier. Alright, let's open the dossier.
[00:37:58]  Space to continue. Alright.
[00:37:59]  Custom skins to weapons.
[00:38:02]  Okay. Okay, so sticky bombs.
[00:38:06]  Can I... Can I purchase that one?
[00:38:11]  No. Alright.
[00:38:13]  Escape back. No.
[00:38:17]  Alright. Can I unlock that?
[00:38:19]  No. Micro-missiles.
[00:38:22]  I like the micro-missiles. Oh, so for micro-missiles, I have to...
[00:38:26]  Upgrades.
[00:38:28]  Quick rack! Well, that's, I guess...
[00:38:32]  Oh, quick rack. That's breast implants?
[00:38:34]  Is that right? Steph, give up.
[00:38:39]  You will never create as many corpses there are in Hillary's closet.
[00:38:42]  If only we could get the coronavirus to testify against the Clintons, man, we'd be fine.
[00:38:47]  Okay, so quick rack.
[00:38:50]  Oh, I only have...
[00:38:51]  I only have one?
[00:38:54]  Okay, I'm rapidly losing interest in this.
[00:38:56]  Oh yeah, okay. Good, I unlocked something.
[00:38:58]  I assume that's helpful. Alright.
[00:39:03]  Alright. Let's just continue.
[00:39:09]  Alright.
[00:39:09]  Um...
[00:39:20]  Uh, ooh, jumpy thing.
[00:39:22]  Okay.
[00:39:25]  Whee! Alright.
[00:39:27]  Those would be so much fun in real life.
[00:39:28]  Alright. Did I see something up here?

=== Unlocking Secrets (02:08) ===

[00:39:30]  Yeah, just help? Oh yeah, I want to get there, right?
[00:39:34]  Never leave an area without checking every conceivable place for goodies, in my humble opinion.
[00:39:43]  Oh. That's interesting.
[00:39:46]  So why is there a pole here?
[00:39:51]  Oh, alright. I guess we can do some kind of Nadia Kamenichi gymnastic thing there.
[00:39:58]  Ah, okay, that's cool.
[00:39:59]  Alright, I'll have to get used to that at some point.
[00:40:01]  Alright.
[00:40:10]  Shoot while holding the right mouse button to use the mods.
[00:40:19]  Oh, oh, I see, I see.
[00:40:21]  Okay, so...
[00:40:22]  Let's get all this stuff.
[00:40:26]  Let's get all this stuff. My baby's got a potion!
[00:40:32]  All right. Let's just admire the art, shall we?
[00:40:37]  Oh, no! Oh, no!
[00:40:39]  It's a jumping thing!
[00:40:41]  Oh, no.
[00:40:44]  Here's where everybody's respect completely craters.
[00:40:47]  All right. Let's go, oh, oh.
[00:40:52]  Alright, well that would be one of the less challenging.
[00:40:55]  Okay, so what you're saying is...
[00:40:58]  Okay.
[00:41:04]  Alright. I once had a tooth extracted, it felt very much the same way.
[00:41:11]  Alright, anything back here?
[00:41:12]  Oh my gosh. I don't know, dudes.
[00:41:18]  I don't know. I don't know.
[00:41:21]  Can I... I wish I'm so used to...
[00:41:24]  was it F6? Well, that's a big dude up there.
[00:41:30]  I don't know.
[00:41:31]  Can we jump that one? Let's find out.
[00:41:35]  The answer is no! The answer is no!
[00:41:38]  All right.

=== Strange Survival (03:20) ===

[00:41:39]  So we went back there a little ways, but now...
[00:41:42]  Oh, wait, wait.
[00:41:50]  Why are we not dead? No, that's strange.
[00:41:53]  This should have been death in a bag for us.
[00:41:58]  All right. Do I die now?
[00:42:02]  Yes, I die now. All right. All right.
[00:42:04]  So, let's just make sure there was no other place to go.
[00:42:09]  Oh, something back here.
[00:42:10]  Something back here. Could we circle around?
[00:42:13]  No, that's where we came from. All right.
[00:42:14]  Hang on. Oh yeah, so this is where we went back here, right?
[00:42:19]  And I betcha if we go back here...
[00:42:22]  Bad things!
[00:42:26]  Oh man, okay, so we're back here.
[00:42:30]  Where do we go? Oh, oh I see, yeah, there's a white wall over there, right?
[00:42:36]  I tried to double jump!
[00:42:37]  Alright, we'll get it, we'll get it. No, I think I have to wait till I'm closer to the wall.
[00:42:47]  There we go. There we go.
[00:42:49]  All right. I got it. I got it.
[00:42:51]  Don't panic. Don't, babies, don't you panic.
[00:42:53]  All right. We're getting there.
[00:42:56]  Oh, ghost dog! Good boy.
[00:42:59]  Good boy. Way to turn into green fireflies of doom.
[00:43:05]  My god. My god, we're at the heart of the Federal Reserve.
[00:43:09]  This is where all the money comes from!
[00:43:12]  Destroy! Destroy!
[00:43:14]  Destroy! Alright.
[00:43:22]  So, I guess we've got to just walk around in here and go.
[00:43:25]  There we go. Ooh.
[00:43:27]  Armor. Nipple guards.
[00:43:29]  There we go. Wow, that is quite the landscape.
[00:43:34]  Friendies? Oh, I'm sure those are the people who are going to come and help me.
[00:43:37]  They're like, oh, you know what?
[00:43:38]  They're the cupids who had me dating in my 20s.
[00:43:41]  Ooh, lordy.
[00:43:42]  See, where did this go originally?
[00:43:44]  See, this is broken. Where did it go?
[00:43:46]  Who knows, right? Ah, this is where babies come from, my friends.
[00:43:52]  This is the egg dispenser of doom.
[00:43:56]  Whoa, glowing thing!
[00:43:58]  I want that! All right, so we come here...
[00:44:06]  Let's keep going around here.
[00:44:07]  And what do we have back here?
[00:44:09]  Punch this dude. Whoa.
[00:44:14]  Punch this dude now. I assume we go somewhere up here then, right?
[00:44:17]  Oh, no. Over here.
[00:44:21]  Oh, come on! Give me a shot.
[00:44:24]  Give me a break. Oh, that's not fair.
[00:44:28]  That's cheating! I've got to be allowed up here.
[00:44:30]  Okay, how about here? There we go.
[00:44:32]  Alright, there we go. Alright.
[00:44:36]  Is that Arabic? Yeah, oh.
[00:44:42]  Donate to...
[00:44:44]  Free Domain!
[00:44:46]  Oh, there we go.
[00:44:47]  There we go. Ah, here we go.
[00:44:55]  This isn't the Federal Reserve at Kali Works.
[00:44:56]  works.
[00:44:57]  No, it just goes round and round.

=== Audio Sync Issues (01:03) ===

[00:45:00]  Somebody has said video is completely out of sync with Alright, listen, no sweat.
[00:45:09]  Let me just check here.
[00:45:11]  Let me just see here.
[00:45:18]  Oh.
[00:45:19]  Audio out of sync.
[00:45:28]  Let's see.
[00:45:29]  If it is, I guess I'll restart with lower resolution.
[00:45:35]  Let me just see here.
[00:45:41]  Audio/video out of sync.
[00:45:44]  You need to destroy the stuff.
[00:45:45]  Okay, I'll tell you what. I'll come back.
[00:45:46]  I'll lower the resolution.
[00:45:48]  I'll come back, yeah.
[00:45:56]  It says it's way off, right?
[00:45:58]  Video is like 10 seconds behind the audio.
[00:46:01]  Strange. Okay, I'll tell you what.