Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool

All Episodes

Previous Next

Feb. 3, 2020 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

01:32:30

Austistic Hispanic Prisoner! Freedomain Call In

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	Hi everybody, Stefan Molyneux from Freedom and hope you're doing well.
	So I'm here with Arsian and why don't you tell us what we're chatting about today?
	So I'm a 24 year old male living with my mom against my will.
	I'm considered a ward of the state and that's due to the fact that when I was 18 I was declared incompetent by a judge.
	Effectively what that means is that I do not have the legal right to do Essentially anything that involves money or involves anything close to weapons.
	Because according to the state, I'm unable to manage my own life.
	And for six years, my life has been pretty much hell as a result.
	I have had no ability to go to college or get any kind of further education.
	And I've been stuck in one place for a long time with somebody who I don't feel has my best interest.
	And yeah, that's pretty much it.
	All right. Sounds like there's a real deep backstory behind all of this.
	So why don't you let me know?
	You can say that. I'm guessing you want me to explain.
	Well, only one of us can, so yes.
	So the story goes like this.
	When I was about six years old, I was diagnosed with high-functioning autism.
	And despite what some people might say, it is a very real disorder, though there are people out there who would pretend that they have it when they don't because, you know, people like to fake things to get free stuff.
	It's nothing abnormal.
	And so I'm able to essentially function pretty highly in society.
	My biggest drawback is social skills.
	But I grew up in a divorced household.
	This is a shocker. With a mom who, once my father left, became very, very controlling and very emotional and sporadic often.
	And I was usually on the receiving end of all of it.
	When I was growing up, the one thing I wanted more than anything in the world was to leave the home and join the military, and specifically special forces.
	This was my dream, to be a Navy SEAL. And, well, When I was about to join, when I was about to leave, I got forced to take a psych eval.
	And the problem with psych evals isn't that there's anything wrong with them in particular.
	It's once you get to the court itself, the only people who have power in the court are the lawyers and the judge.
	The psychologist has no power and the likelihood that you can appeal one of these things is very low.
	So I was declared incompetent and I have no legal rights to my own bank accounts, no legal rights to own a firearm, no legal rights to leave the country.
	The only legal right that they allowed me to have, this is going to make you laugh, by the way, is to vote.
	It's so weird.
	Wow. Wow. I mean, it's dark comedy, but I get the comedy.
	I'm glad. So, yeah.
	Now, here's the thing.
	The reason why I'm contacting you now is It's a bit two-fold.
	Number one, when I realized they probably couldn't join the military, obviously, I decided I wanted to try politics.
	And so I started my own YouTube channel under the name we've been calling me today, Arsion.
	And it never really grew that big, but I enjoyed doing it.
	I always found it interesting how the world should be run.
	Well, I watched as a lot of the people I looked up to Lauren left and retired.
	James Alsop was taken off of YouTube.
	So was Alex Jones.
	And a lot of movements that were started kind of ended.
	Then the bigger thing happened, which is that I have a scheduled hearing soon enough to potentially terminate the guardianship.
	Although you've said this plenty of times on your show, it doesn't matter how good or bad a job the government does, they get your money anyway.
	So, yeah, who knows if that's going to even help at all.
	And I really don't know where to go with my life.
	Once you turn 30, people stop giving you as much freedom or as much leeway, I should say.
	When you're in your 20s, people are very kind to you or they're more forgiving if you haven't got your life altogether.
	But I'm 24.
	I don't have a whole lot of resources.
	I work a very low-paying job.
	And my mother told me automatically, I'm not going to help give you any money to go to any kind of schooling once this is all done.
	And the likelihood is that she'll probably just kick me out of the house because we argued like cats and dogs for most of my tenure with her.
	So let's go back to the divorce.
	What was going on before?
	What happened? And what was the path afterwards?
	Well, that's where things get even more sticky.
	I have tried to tell, and I should also tell I'm actually adopted from Latin America originally, so these aren't even my biological parents, which makes it even more of a weirdness.
	But what I do know is essentially what my parents have kind of let out or alluded to, but they are very, very bad.
	They just don't want to tell me.
	How old were you when they got divorced?
	I'd say like my father filed when I was two years old.
	So they adopted a child and then decided to get divorced because, well, it's important for an adopted kid to have zero stability in the household.
	Man, that's wretched. Yeah, I just want to wait for them to come on and say, sorry, it's just a prank, bro.
	You know, just find out when that happens.
	Did you adopt any other kids?
	Do you have any siblings? I have a biological twin.
	He is severely mentally delayed.
	Yeah. A biological twin.
	Oh, so they adopted you and your biological twin and he has mental delay, right?
	He literally cannot tie his own shoes.
	Yes. Man.
	And do they know what happened?
	To be honest, I don't.
	I think they know the diagnosis.
	They just don't. I just never really knew myself.
	But yeah. But it wasn't like an injury or like there was no trauma that you know of, right?
	It was just a bad roll of the genetic dice, right?
	Yeah. I mean, we're both Latino, but we're both tall.
	So there's some good in there.
	Anyhow you look at it.
	But yeah, from what my parents have alluded to, what they'll allow me to know, there was some cheating that happened.
	They won't say who or what, and I think I can probably figure out what it is.
	But beyond that, there's not a whole lot else that they've told me.
	But I know there's more.
	I know there's something to do with finances and family, extended family.
	So I don't know the full story.
	Wow. Okay. Did they know that your brother had mental handicaps when they adopted him?
	We were literally only a few weeks old when it first happened, and we were brought here at around six months old.
	And then we were checked out by a doctor, and that's when the doctor said, there's something wrong with these two.
	Oh, both of you, right?
	So he picked up on something to do with you, and certainly, I guess, something much more severe to do with your brother?
	Uh-huh. And so the doctor was examining you prior to your parents adopting you, is that right?
	No, no, no. This is when we were already in the States.
	Oh, so they adopted you and then at six months you went to see a doctor and the doctor said something's not going right, right?
	Uh-huh. Wow.
	Wow, okay. Yeah.
	And then? So then, do you have any...
	I mean, this is obviously six months, too early to have any memories.
	Do you have any memories of sort of around the two-ish or three-ish during the whole divorce situation?
	I remember screaming at the woman who would later become my stepmother.
	And I remember throwing something that missed her head.
	Oh, so your dad's mistress or girlfriend, is that right?
	Yep. Who is now his wife.
	Oh, so that lasted...
	Oh, yeah, yes.
	The marriage between my stepmother and my father.
	Though, from the timeline, I think my mom cheated on my dad first.
	And that sparks, you know, every force has an equal and opposite reaction.
	You know, every action has that, I guess.
	Yeah. Yeah, not fun.
	So, your parents split up and you were round two, and I'm going to go out on a limb here, and I'm going to guess that it was not the most amicable for splits.
	Is that a fair way to characterize it?
	I'd say you basically split the arrow down the middle.
	It was not pretty at all.
	And after it calmed down, it was a lot of, you're North Korea, I'm South Korea, we're never going to talk.
	So the whole co-parenting thing didn't exactly shake out the way it should?
	That seems to actually be the only thing they didn't screw up.
	I'm going to be honest, they stuck to the schedule really, really well.
	With that being said, that doesn't mean they were friends the entire way through.
	They were very spiteful to each other.
	And when it comes to anything that was beyond the set schedule for the week, it was a nightmare.
	And I usually got stuck with all of it.
	So tell me what was the nightmare and what sort of situations would occur?
	So let's say that...
	I don't know. I wanted to stay over at a friend's house, and it was just like a day before I would go over to the next house.
	Well, my mom would try to get at my dad somehow.
	She would try to, like, one time, remember, she called him and told him that he likes hanging out with his friends when he's over here, and there's a reason why he doesn't do it when he's over at your house.
	Of course, in the stupid crap drama starting.
	And so...
	And so the logistics for getting over there might change in a heartbeat.
	I might be told I can't go over because it's a school night, or I would be told something a little bit worse, which is that no one's going to pick you up in the morning and I'd have to walk home.
	I'm not even kidding. I would literally walk the equivalent of three miles in the middle of winter.
	Wow. Okay.
	And it's a rule. Yeah, so...
	So, your dad had a mistress, I guess, probably overlapping with the divorce.
	And what happened with your mom?
	She went crazy.
	Not clinically, although I'm sure you could find something.
	But she basically became very, very possessive and impulsive.
	I remember when I was 17, it was Christmas, and I'm a huge Breaking Benjamin fan.
	I've seen their concerts twice.
	Breaking Benjamin? It's a hard rock band out of Pennsylvania.
	Okay, all right. Sorry, I should have given that context.
	But anyway, she bought me a CD. I'm like, oh, wow, this is the first time she really listened to something I actually cared about, you know, because usually she wouldn't pay much attention.
	And... So, I remember opening it.
	Then me and my brother were kind of getting into not even an argument, just a disagreement about what video game to play on our PlayStation next.
	And she wanted drama, so she started yelling, stop arguing.
	And we're telling her nothing's happening.
	She gets upset, and then she chucks the CD at my head and misses, and it breaks behind the wall.
	It breaks on the wall?
	It hits the wall behind me.
	Okay, got it, got it. So your brother could play video games, though?
	His disorders are very strange in that he will just know how to press buttons and kind of know that pressing this button causes this effect.
	That's about it. So, you know, he can speak English and just articulate, I'm hungry, where are you going?
	Nothing more advanced than that.
	Alright, so he can do sort of like the jumpy, platformy, Twitch-style games?
	Oh, you want my brother to become a Twitch streamer?
	No, no, I'm just trying to sort of, I mean, I guess, you know, not so much Skyrim, but more like the Luigi games, right?
	The sort of platformy kind of games?
	Yeah, well, I mean, I've never played Skyrim.
	I'm more of an Uncharted fan, and if you're into, you know, adventure, I'm sure you'd love Uncharted.
	It's kind of like Indiana Jones.
	So she threw the CD and it broke on the wall behind you, right?
	Did she end up getting into another relationship with a man after the divorce?
	She did. It was quite a few years afterward.
	She never remarried.
	Single mothers are known to do this, and this was the same as my case.
	She works part-time, which, you know, it's just under 40 hours.
	And then, surprisingly, she never took welfare.
	But she would work part-time, but her boyfriend would work full-time as a tool-and-die guy.
	So he would do, like, plastic molds, things like that.
	He was usually going from 40 to 60 hours a week.
	And she saw him about once every other week.
	Oh, so it was like a real intimate and kind of dating thing, right?
	Yeah, they were definitely dating, you know, but although intimate, well, first off, I don't want to think about that.
	But they had enough of a relationship to Warren's boyfriend and girlfriend.
	They never got close enough where they would ever move in or anything.
	And did he spend any time around you and your brother?
	He did. I want to say this.
	He was not a bad guy.
	But my mom was a ball of crazy.
	So... Was it what crazy?
	A ball of crazy.
	A ball of crazy. All right.
	And in what way?
	In that she was kind of...
	She was pretty impulsive at times when it came to how she talked to us.
	And usually whenever I would say, okay, I've had enough.
	I'm going in this room.
	I'm locking the door. And I don't want to hear your voice.
	She would then tell her boyfriend that I was...
	Threatening her, even if I wasn't, to get her away.
	And what would happen then?
	The guy really...
	Usually he'd pound on the door, and usually twice the cops got called.
	And when there was no evidence of anything, they walked away.
	They literally know who we are.
	The cops know us here.
	And it just got crazier because she realized I have a very rebellious attitude.
	I'm not... Aggressive, but I'm definitely not someone who likes to be pushed around.
	It's part of the reason why I'm conservative in the first place.
	I just don't believe people just because they tell me things.
	So the less control she had over me, because I was considered the real man in the house since my brother was heavily delayed, the more angry she would get.
	Her boyfriend started to kind of realize that she would sometimes use him to get her way.
	But he's still stuck around.
	He's been through divorce as well.
	He has a stepchild himself.
	It's just not a good situation.
	And he's stuck around, like he's still around?
	Yeah. Wow.
	And here's the thing that's going to probably blow your mind.
	There's only two people on my dad's side of the family out of eight that have been married that didn't divorce.
	Wow. It's something I've lived with, and it's part of the reason why I consider myself traditional.
	I want to have kids someday, and I do not want to put them through that.
	Oh, God, no. No, no, I mean, I get that.
	Pendulum needs to swing way the hell the other direction to actually stick it out, right?
	I'm with that. I'm with that.
	All right. Okay, and what was it like for you, I guess, growing up with your twin, with your mom, with this...
	Slightly distant boyfriend situation and in school and all that.
	How did that play out for you? Oh, it was it was hell in heaven.
	It was oftentimes it really depended on the day.
	I'll say this.
	It really taught me a lot about valuing the people who do mean something to me.
	My friends were like extended family and my extended family, despite having their own problems, We're a few notches of crazy down from 11, so they were not much more understanding with me.
	They oftentimes were the people I'd go to.
	And of course, I did have the one uncle who didn't get married, who we all know this uncle.
	He's the kind of guy who likes to go out shooting things and doing dangerous stunts and will say things that no one else in the family could say.
	It's funny and it's also kind of true.
	I love that dude. We all know that kind of the crazy uncle that says what he wants and Because he's not tied to anybody, he doesn't have to worry about getting in trouble.
	Right, okay. So what was the hell part?
	The hell part was stability of any kind.
	This is probably one of the most painful things I remember from my childhood.
	I knew that eventually, even if I did join the military, eventually I would leave.
	Of course, I never actually went in.
	And what was I going to do after that?
	I thought, you know what? I want to be a businessman.
	And I thought, I would like to do something that saves lives.
	I thought, what about all the people who are injured in the world who have problems with their nervous system?
	What if I invented something like that?
	So I wanted to go to a school.
	I don't want to name the school. That was for biomechanical engineering.
	And I actually had pretty good math scores.
	I probably could have gone in.
	My mom told me to my face on my birthday in front of my friends when I was 15, you probably shouldn't go.
	They don't let stupid people in.
	Wow. And where do you think that comes from in your mom, this put down stuff?
	Loneliness. I think she needed me to feel like I had to stay at home.
	Oh, so she's crippling you getting out of the house so that she doesn't have to deal with your brother alone?
	Uh-huh. I think it's Oedipal, in a sense.
	Go on. You know, the Oedipal complex, you know, the Oedipus story, you know, guy sleeps with his mother, finds out too late, blinds himself.
	He kills his father and sleeps with his mother, though he doesn't know either at the time.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, still, it's pretty messed up either way.
	But the whole point of that story was, you know, if the mother gets too close and doesn't set enough boundaries, It really messes people up.
	And I remember when I was a kid, I always asked my mom, why don't you let me have a lock in my door?
	She said, well, it's my house.
	And I thought, okay, that makes sense.
	But she also had a key to the bathroom door.
	And I asked her one day, she said, I don't trust you.
	I thought to myself, wait, that's the bathroom.
	You're telling me you can't trust me to take a...
	You think you're going to take a dump in the shower or something?
	Or... Touch yourself as a teenager.
	Oh lord! Oh no, now I'm going to be smoking reefer and that's the stuff of the devil.
	Hairy palms. Straight up, baby.
	Wow. Okay, so a little on the intrusive side.
	Oh, I pretty much had nothing I could do without her knowing.
	And I found ways around that, of course, because of course I'm going to find ways, but yeah.
	Boundaries were not set well.
	Okay, and how much work is your brother?
	I'll give my mom this.
	She didn't kill him. He can be quite a bit.
	He actually ended up at one point bringing a knife to school when I graduated and he was still there.
	Because he was upset that I was gone.
	He wasn't living in the same house at the time, although I should mention that.
	Okay. Okay, so, I mean, that's an extreme example, but on a day-to-day basis?
	On a day-to-day basis, he begs a lot.
	Like, he'd say, can I have this?
	Can I have that? Repeatedly, he gets excited by everything and not always in a good way.
	Overall, he definitely was a handful, but he was never malicious, you know?
	Right. Impulsive, I suppose, right?
	Impulsive, and I would go so far as to say...
	Just didn't know a lot about how to live and be normal.
	But he's definitely like a full-time job, isn't he?
	Oh, absolutely. Like I said, I give credit for my mom for not killing him.
	Not because I would, but my family situation is...
	Well, you can go and have your life, and she is going to be tending to him until her old age, right?
	And then she's got to find someone else to do it.
	Oh no, not now, not anymore, because he lives in a home where other people do it.
	Oh, okay. So that's basically he's on the taxpayer dime for the next 60 years, right?
	Yeah, and like you said, I mean, I don't know how things go down there, but I've heard bad stories from there from time to time.
	And as you've said before, it doesn't matter whether they do a good job or a bad job, they get your money anyway.
	So who cares, right?
	Right. But I mean, does she take him home from time to time, visits and all?
	About every other week. So same amount of time she sees her boyfriend.
	Like the week she doesn't see her boyfriend, she sees him.
	And how long has he been there?
	Since he was 21.
	Okay, okay. Got it.
	He's 24 now. No, I get it.
	I get he's a twin. I can do the math.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Wow. And do you have any relationship with him?
	I mean, it's kind of tough, I guess.
	It's completely strained.
	Very strained. Very real, but strained.
	Because he looks like you, right? I mean, there's that genetic similarity.
	Define, look by me, like me.
	Same hair color, same skin tone.
	Jawline is completely different.
	Ah. Head is kind of different.
	You can physically tell he's disabled.
	Oh, okay, okay. My autism doesn't manifest physically.
	Right, okay.
	Okay, all right.
	Now, you said that school was also hellish, if I remember rightly, and how did that show up?
	So, here's the thing.
	We are social animals, and Let's be honest.
	We don't have a lot of the advantages that other animals have.
	We can't see at night. We don't have big claws.
	So the one thing that puts us above the animal kingdom is our intellect and our ability to socialize.
	Well, now imagine having a disorder that is designed to make social skills, body language, eye contact, all these things really, really hard, and then put yourself in an environment where there's tons of Girls finishing puberty and tons of guys just starting it up, you know. You can just imagine how bad that would be.
	Right. Sorry, I'm still listening.
	You were mid-sentence.
	Please go on. Sorry.
	Basically, being able to socialize with anybody was kind of a...
	You have better chances at hitting black all the way through at the slots.
	Not the slots, whatever, you know what I mean.
	Mm-hmm. It was a lot of unpredictability, a lot of pain.
	And the worst part was that most of the time I wasn't told this is how you can learn body language.
	People would say things like, how do I talk to people?
	They'd say, just be yourself.
	Stupid information that never works.
	Well, I mean, if you don't know the language, it's like, how do I learn French?
	Just be yourself. It's like, it doesn't really work that way.
	Je ne sais pas. That literally means I don't know and that's the only thing I know in French.
	Right. But yeah, the only way I was able to succeed in the future is I actually bought a book and I recommend that anyone with autism read this.
	It's called What Every Body, two separate words, is saying by Joe Navarro who's an ex-FBI agent.
	He did a really good job breaking down body language.
	But even then I still struggle.
	But it's a lot better now.
	I've actually had a girlfriend After high school in the past.
	Now, when did the diagnosis settle on your shoulders?
	When I was about six is when the diagnosis was there.
	Yeah. And what was the behavior, do you know, the behavior that caused you to be diagnosed at all?
	Lack of eye contact, oftentimes not picking up on social cues.
	They would give me a task and they'd see which one I was into.
	When I got into one, they would see if they could pull me away from it for something important or something I need to pay attention to.
	And I would get angry and upset that I couldn't let go of a task.
	And oftentimes I would ask, why are you pulling me away from this?
	Yeah. And do you agree with what the diagnosis is?
	I do.
	I just don't believe that I'm low-functioning enough where I can't find ways to fix the symptoms.
	It's not a curable disorder, but I think I can address the symptoms and how they affect me.
	Okay, so I know we're doing a bit of a fast forward here, but from six, so then you applied for special forces when you were 17 or 18.
	And tell me about that process and how that shook out with you losing your independence.
	So I never applied for spec ops.
	What I meant is that I wanted to, and I applied for military.
	So at 17, I put in papers from the ASVAB. And they said, you're pretty good at this.
	You know, you just gotta, you know, be willing to obey authority.
	And, you know, I was a little rebellious, but I could figure a way to shut my mouth.
	And, you know, I just don't like being told stupid things by my very Marxist teachers in high school.
	But yeah, so I applied and they said, this is pretty good.
	You'd have to sign a waiver to do it at 17.
	I was like, okay, there's no way my mom's going to say yes to that.
	But she knew of your ambition, right?
	Oh, she hated the fact that I wanted to leave.
	She wanted me there. She wanted me home.
	So, but anyway, they said you could potentially join special forces, but you would have to, the way the U.S. military works is you have to join the regular forces, and then you have to apply for another boot camp, and every branch of the U.S. military has at least one spec ops group.
	So I would have to wait until I was 18.
	And that's when the screwing came in.
	I got screwed. Sorry, you'd still be in the military, but you'd have to wait to apply to spec ops until you were 18, right?
	Well, I wasn't officially in.
	You have to actually go to basic.
	Sorry, what I mean is if you were accepted in, then a year later you could go, or when you were 18 you could apply to special ops, right?
	Yes. Okay, go ahead. They might do some small testing here and there just to make sure nothing changed, but yeah, basically the same thing.
	Okay. So then you go home and you need your mom's signature because you're 17, right?
	Yeah, but I know she's not going to give it to me, so I don't even ask.
	Ah, okay. You know, I was thinking ahead.
	I just wanted to see if...
	I just was really antsy to go, so I was like, let's just put in the papers and see what they say.
	Okay, so then what? So, well, we guys were going to have to fast forward to when I turned 18.
	And when an officer came to my house and said...
	The court wants you to appear at this facility to get a psyche val.
	Okay, now, sorry, where did that come from?
	Because you hadn't officially applied as yet.
	Is that right? I had...
	Oh, well, no, no, no.
	This isn't for the military.
	This is something that was ordered by my mother through the court.
	She said that I needed to be tested to see if I was competent.
	And... So there's sort of two questions about why she would do that.
	Number one is some immediate behavior that she was concerned about or whatever.
	The other is, you know, the sort of deep seated, maybe possessive or eatable stuff or just keep you around stuff because she's lonely.
	But what was like the surface reason?
	Right.
	Like you can't go to the court and say, I need you to take away my son's independence because I'm lonely.
	Right.
	The court will just say, like, OK, we can't help you with that.
	Right.
	So but what was it that she used to convince the court that you were deserving of this or needed this eval?
	Well, first off, I'd like to kind of set the scene and that the courts in the United States, as I said, it's only the lawyers and the judges who have any power.
	And they are incentivized to find people incompetence because let's say they don't find someone incompetent or they give a partial guardianship.
	This means that you have some rights and freedoms, but not all of them.
	If the judge gets that wrong and you come back to court, the judge could be liable if you did something bad that caused you to have to come back.
	There's no liability for a false positive, really.
	huge liabilities for a false negative, right?
	Like if you are, but they say you're not, and then you do something bad, they're in trouble.
	But if you're not, and they say you are, they're mostly off the hook, right? - Yep, and of course there's no, hey, you didn't screw up.
	Here's, here's $1,000. Right, right.
	Okay. So you're, but what was it in your behavior that your mother, I mean, your mother went to the court and said, he needs this.
	And was it just because of your prior diagnosis of autism?
	Or was there something? That was kind of the bedrock.
	But the big thing that they said was that I had gone to arguments with other kids in my school.
	And I guess I should set the scene for that, too, because my school had the dumb rule of, if someone is beating the crap out of you, if you fight back, you also get in trouble.
	Oh, yeah, yeah. Gynocentric, no-justice scenario, right?
	Everyone needs to just be nice and kiss each other.
	Mommy doesn't like this.
	Right, okay. So you got into fights, or you were aggressed against that way?
	Oh, I was aggressed against...
	I never actually threw a strike, neither did they, but they would put their hands on my chest, you know, And, like, threatened to hit me, and I would say, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you, you know, but nobody would actually throw a punch, because we both know what that meant.
	In fact, the only kids who didn't were the kids from the inner city who came to my school, and most of them were actually better behaved than a lot of these white liberal kids that were going to my school who wanted to be black.
	Okay, so there wasn't so much, it was a lot of verbal sparring, but not a lot of fist fighting, right?
	It was, yeah, it's basically North Korea going, I want to blow you up!
	And of course they never do.
	Right, okay. A lot of that, a lot of posturing.
	Right, right, okay.
	So you got in, now were you picked on as the slightly oddball kid, or how did that work?
	It's, I'll say this.
	Once I got into a beef with somebody, then it would happen.
	But it wasn't like people would just randomly do it.
	It's not like those stupid Hallmark high school movies about the awkward kid or whatever that somehow gets the hot cheerleader by the end.
	It wasn't like that.
	It was more like any time I did something, it was kind of a slot machine as to whether or not I would be laughed at for how stupid I looked, even if I thought it was completely innocuous.
	And when it came to people wanting to socialize with me and wanting to talk to me, I was essentially ostracized.
	Most people weren't mean.
	Most of them just didn't want anything to do with me.
	Right. Okay. Okay.
	And, of course, your sex drive doesn't know anything about your diagnosis, right?
	So you want girlfriends, you want that, and that feeling that it's far away and unattainable.
	I mean, that's got to be very frustrating.
	I mean, I'm watching all these girls finish their puberty while mine is starting.
	My engine's roaring and the car is not starting.
	So, you know, the car is not moving.
	So, yeah, it's pretty frustrating.
	Did your mother or your school or your teachers get you into any kind of program to help you with the symptoms?
	Sometimes, sometimes not.
	There were two years in middle school where I was actually allowed to have Social skills classes and then they just cut it because they wanted to build a new soccer field.
	Oh, okay. So the program was cut, right?
	Yep. And when they thought about reviving it in high school, well, I mean, the high school, they really need a larger pool.
	So they couldn't do it. I'm sorry.
	Right. Okay. Okay. Now, how do you feel about all of this stuff?
	I mean, you're telling me the story, and I can get some sense of frustration, but as far as the emotionality goes, I'm not quite with you yet, brother.
	I mean, as far as connecting. Oh, I'm sorry.
	No, no, don't apologize. I just want to let you know about that so you can sort of understand what it's like on my side of the show.
	Oh, I became a huge Nirvana fan throughout high school.
	That should tell you a lot. Alice in Chains, let's crank it.
	You know, but, yeah.
	I'm sorry. I'm not going to Kurt Cobain myself, so don't worry.
	Well, I think as long as you're not involved with heroin and Courtney Love, you're probably okay.
	I think Courtney Love is enough by herself.
	Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but anyway, it's so bad.
	But anyway...
	I do remember there were several nights that I did cry myself to sleep.
	I have had very depressing moments where I felt that life had no meaning.
	I'm a Catholic and I went atheist for about two years and came back when I was about 14 to the church.
	And I actually think it was a good thing because when I came back I understood why I was coming back.
	I really actually cared about what I was listening to.
	Although I will say I don't like how the church is acting nowadays.
	But even then, I constantly questioned if Christ was real.
	I constantly said that, you know, either Christ is real or I'm just a piece of flesh looking for a next dopamine hit.
	And I also, I was in cross-country throughout high school.
	Four years Solid.
	But when cross-country ended, I had a huge problem with sugar and a huge problem with food.
	And I still have a little bit of it and much better, but it was my advice.
	How did that show up, the sugar thing?
	Basically, my mother wasn't home much, so, you know, the fridge was wide open, and well, you can connect the dots.
	Well, but I mean, she knew that you had an issue with sugar, and she just still had that crap in the house?
	She just didn't care.
	Because it's cheap. It's cheap.
	Well, and you're not complaining.
	And I guess, does your brother also, I mean, you said he wants things, and I assume that the sugar is part of that as well.
	Yes. Yes, and a lot of fried food.
	A lot of fried food.
	Okay, maybe that's why the two lines are different.
	Well, I'll say this, my brother also had a high metabolism, so nobody saw anything.
	Oh, right, okay, okay. Yeah, so, but also porn.
	Because, I mean, I'm a high school student who can't get laid, can't talk to any girls because I don't know how old to, and I'm just halfway through puberty while they just finished.
	I mean, yeah.
	So did you gain weight even though you were on cross-country because of the sugar?
	Oh yeah, a lot.
	I think my heaviest was 267 pounds, obviously.
	And that's on a six-foot guy.
	Yeah, that's... I'm not small, but...
	No, that's heavy.
	I mean, I got up to a little over 220.
	I'm just under six foot, and yeah, that was lumpy.
	Yeah, but you got a nice jawline, so who cares?
	Well, no, I didn't back then.
	I mean, I'm down over 30 pounds now from there, but yeah, no, it definitely...
	I mean, so I'm thinking about another 40 pounds off that.
	That's rough.
	Yeah, it was.
	But you can't do cross-country at 267, right?
	Oh, no, no, no. See, I was burning pretty hard.
	I also gained some muscle, and people said I was the tank.
	That means, even though I'm not in football, and I'm running, I'm running over obstacles.
	Well, not obstacles, but over paths.
	So it's not a contact sport.
	We went on plenty of, for those who don't know, cross country is about distance, track is about speed.
	So our tracks that we would go on were oftentimes long trails that we would jog run.
	And some of these trails had like hills that were just, oh my god, you can't go up on a bike, but we went up them anyway.
	Oh, no. I mean, I'm with you there, brother.
	I did cross-country for a couple of years.
	Oh! And, yeah, it's monstrous.
	And I do remember, one, sometimes, like, if it's rained or whatever, it might be raining during the...
	I mean, there were people who, like, lost shoes in the mud, and they'd have to come back later and try and find them, because they'd be so ambitious, they'd try and finish the trails just in their socks.
	It is... Yeah, it can be a real monster fest, the cross-country stuff.
	So, I'm guessing you were in Canada at the time?
	Yes. Okay, so, as someone who also comes from, I'm not going to say where, but a northern area, did you ever have the time where it suddenly either rained or got super cold during the fall and people found out too late?
	Oh, it could happen on the run itself.
	Oh, I love that. You get some sudden cold snap and your nipples are hard and your armpits are freezing and you're crunching along on half mud, half ice.
	Oh, no, it really does.
	It feels like a hell of a boot camp.
	It really does. And so, yeah, I sympathize with all of that for sure.
	That was my intro to what basic training would have been, I bet.
	Yeah, yeah. No, it's rough and it's harsh.
	And at some point you're like, wouldn't people pay a lot of money to not do this?
	Why the hell am I doing it for free?
	Well, you know, we've got to attract those girls who are always into the football players and not you.
	So, you know, what are you going to do? Yeah, yeah.
	You want to be that skinny two-dimensional nerd frame of infinite speed, right?
	But yeah. You can run away from them when they try to put you in the locker.
	Oh, yeah. We used to go up and down hills just to strengthen Lake Tracy.
	Oh, I remember that. I used to try and solve computers.
	It would be so unpleasant.
	I would try and get to my zen place by solving computer problems.
	up and down hills things, because you couldn't be in your own body when you're pounding the pavement that hard.
	And so I would try and solve abstract problems.
	There was an old video game called Berserk.
	And I remember thinking, "Okay, well, how would I have the robot shoot at the player if I was programming this game?" And it's the only way you could kind of do it was to just find something to abstract yourself from your own physical pain.
	Yeah, well, you know, I would do something a little bit different.
	I'm much more mechanical than I am, like, you know, like a computer nerd.
	That's my friend who's more into it.
	He's actually going to a college for software engineering.
	He's almost done, although he has pretty much no more money.
	Yeah, but when I was going up those, oh, I remember that you bring back a lot of good memories, my friend, because we would all be like, this sucks, going up the hill.
	But then we'd go down the hill, and it's just like a roller coaster.
	Like, yes! Yes!
	And so what I would be thinking about is the physics of it, and I'd be thinking about, like, what kind of terrain are we going over?
	Are we going over grass?
	So how many microfibers would have to line up with fibers in the ground to get enough friction to pull up?
	And at what angle would I be would enough force be able to be projected onto the ground to not cause a break in the soil, but at the same time propel you forward?
	I was weird like that.
	No, I mean, it's what you do.
	I mean, there was no point to sit in there saying, well, my lungs are burning and my legs are burning and my muscles are all dying on me like a bunch of eels being clubbed to death on my bones.
	So you might as well do something abstract while you're out there.
	And you can get kind of zen off that.
	I remember I ran 20 miles when I was working up north.
	And you know, I ran 20 miles when I was working up north.
	At the beginning, it's like, there's no way I'm going to do this.
	Then you just get into this rhythm, and you could just keep going, and you could just keep going.
	It does get to be kind of like a zen horse riding mechanical thing when you're running for a long period of time.
	Anyway, let's stay on with your story.
	You turn 18, and your mom wants to get you evaluated, right?
	Yep. So she does, right?
	She gets you evaluated. And what is the process of that?
	How does that play out? So basically, a cop shows up in my house, tells me when to show up.
	And I do it.
	I actually go to an actual clinic rather than the courthouse, although sometimes you can be evaluated at the courthouse if they just want to meet you there.
	And they ask you questions.
	A lot of them are really weird, so I didn't know how to answer them.
	Like what? What kind of questions would you get?
	So they'd say, and I figured out what it was later on.
	So they would want to see if you can understand abstract thoughts.
	So they'd say, a banana and a burger are the same how.
	A horse and a motorcycle are the same how.
	Oh, so like eating and mobility or riding or whatever.
	Yes. Okay. Yeah, so they wanted to see how quickly you could answer those.
	And I assume you did pretty well on that as Mr.
	Abstract Guy, right? Oh, absolutely.
	I mean, dude, I was thinking about, so what are actually the physical differences in structure when it comes to sugars and proteins in those things when they said that?
	I'm like, no, wait, focus, focus.
	Get back to the valuation.
	Yeah, dumb it down. Just give the simplest possible answer that bridges these things, right?
	Yeah, shut up, autistic brain.
	Let me think. I really think it was my autism that made me like that.
	But yeah, so they would do that.
	Then they would ask me what my life is like.
	And I didn't know.
	You should probably not say anything too crazy about yourself.
	But I would tell them, yeah, sometimes I'd wake up at night out of breath because I'd have a nightmare about my mom.
	Well, as you say, I assume you said you've been fighting basically in the six years since 18 to 24, but I assume you were fighting back then because there's no desperate pitched battles like a single mom and a son.
	Man, those are just thermonuclear usually and they're bloody endless too.
	I mean, hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn.
	Well, it's even worse when she's your mom and she has power over you.
	Well, and it's even worse if she believes she's entitled to a magical patriarchal respect despite acting like a hysterical something-something over you, right?
	I mean, I remember my mom just being enraged, enraged that she just didn't get the respect that other people did.
	And it's like, I gotta be honest here.
	Did you earn it? You earned it. You earned the contempt, you know, honestly.
	You know, honestly, I think it's probably because when they're younger, they're hot.
	So they get their respects. And actually, I just want to mention this.
	Because Lauren Southern retired, I want to give her a lot of respect for doing Borderless because that was her way of saying, I'm not just a pretty face.
	I can do cool stuff.
	I can make something really great.
	So credit to her. I hope she's doing well.
	Anyway, but, yeah, you know, I mean, like, when you're young, you know, every guy's thinking with their penis, and some of them don't grow out of that princess mentality.
	Right. No, it does.
	When, like, a woman who gets attention from her looks, your son doesn't care about that, obviously, right?
	And so you're looking for qualities of character, stability of maturity, and wisdom, and all of that sort of stuff.
	And you can't be, you know, feminine wiles kind of thing.
	Like, you can't be wild, right?
	By your mom.
	At least I bloody well hope not, right?
	I mean, pretty bad if you were, right?
	So all of the sort of little kind of cliched, bat your eyelids tricks that women can pull on men, moms can't pull on their sons.
	And that hollowed out lack of respect or lack of deference is probably the better way.
	So men will defer to women because, you know, I remember dating a woman and And she informed me with all due seriousness that she had psychic abilities.
	She really had psychic abilities.
	And I mean, she was, man, she was really good looking, right?
	And of course, you know, she sailed through her life muttering this nonsense.
	And, you know, guys are like, well, you're pretty.
	So sure, you've got psychic abilities.
	Can we go to bed yet? Right?
	And I was like, wow, that's amazing.
	You know, the amazing Randy's had a million dollar US, a million dollar prize for anyone who can prove psychic abilities.
	So, you know, you should really cash in on that.
	A million bucks would go down pretty sweet, right?
	I mean, it's like 1.3 million Canadian or something, right?
	And of course, immediately you get, well, it doesn't work that way.
	And I'm like, well, you got the first three words, right?
	So, yeah. But so all of the deference that men are going to have for attractive women don't happen with sons to mothers.
	And you see your mother for who she is rather than for the physical attraction she may have to other men.
	And so you're kind of on the inside...
	Of the bullshit exterior.
	And what you see there is really quite the opposite of pretty.
	And then you grow up with a deep appreciation of just how stupid men get around pretty girls, right?
	Because, you know, your mom was pretty, it sounds like.
	My mom was very pretty. And so this is why, you know, when I... It took me a ridiculous amount of time to learn this, but that's, you know, I forgive myself because there's biology and then there's a really corrupt culture that doesn't...
	Instruct men about this kind of stuff, but when you've been on the inside of a pretty girl's shell and you've seen a pretty woman's shell and you see the actual mechanics of the personality underneath, wow, boy, there's a whole lot of not pretty going on.
	And then knowing the way that she is and seeing all these guys floating around, these thirsty betas and all that floating around, like wanting dates and stuff, and you're like, oh man, are we ever a pitiful sex?
	Are we ever a pitiful...
	Sex, wildly out of control of our steerage.
	And it's a pretty eye-opening situation to be in.
	And then, of course, like all people who are exposed to this kind of dark wisdom, I'm then like, ooh, she's pretty!
	It's just ridiculous how long it takes to connect these two cables together and get a little jolt of maturity.
	Well, you know, I think...
	Well, I don't know if you've heard of this, though.
	But also let's extend that to what happens afterward when women can still hit the gym hard enough where their butt sticks out and their breasts don't say that much.
	And they're they're the MILF.
	They are the the hot ticket for tonight.
	They find out that, yeah, a lot of guys still want them, especially when they get to that MILF category a lot.
	I've noticed a lot of guys my age want them and they want them for the night and then they're gone.
	And women are surprised because they used to be able to have it where I don't have to even go to the gym.
	I just need to not get fat and I will have marriage material on me.
	Now they're a bang and dump.
	Well, it's a sad situation because it's like they're the exercise bicycle but they want to be taken on the Tour de France and you don't take your exercise bike on the Tour de France.
	That's just for practice, man.
	You don't do it. You just don't do it.
	All right. So I guess so when your mom's looks faded and you saw what's on the other side of this hypergamy addiction that then decays, that's pretty rough.
	So anyway, let's get back to the test.
	So you did some of these kind of tests.
	What else was going on?
	I mean, I guess just as like a face-to-face sit-down kind of thing?
	Yeah. Yeah. Why am I saying it like?
	I'm not sure. Yes, that's the answer.
	Yes, it was. I'm acting like I don't know.
	Yeah, I guess it was.
	So how long did this process go on for, this testing?
	About an hour. One hour.
	One hour for your future.
	I know, but hey, the state can't make mistakes, Stefan, don't you know that?
	Right, right, right. Right, okay, so you had an hour, soup to nuts, like start to end, you had an hour that determined whether you could actually become an adult.
	Okay. And do you know if you were close, whether like, well, you know, we're going to err on the side of caution or like, no way, man, we're going to lock you up forever.
	He said, I have average intelligence and there's nothing special or high quality about me, which is his way of saying, you're not that stupid.
	And he also, the doctor also said, he doesn't think I should do it.
	I should Have complete control over my bank account.
	But he says that when it comes to everything else, I would be fine.
	But he also knew that, you know, it's really the judge that makes the decision.
	And there are, I think, I believe there are appellate courts.
	But with that being said, the likelihood you're going to get to one of them is...
	You mean appellate courts like an appeal?
	Yes. So the judge will decide and then you can appeal the ruling, right?
	I think. Was there anything aggressive, do you think, in your mother doing this?
	In other words, do you think that she was just trying to keep you home?
	Or do you think there was any – I mean, it's hard to say, looking on the outside.
	Was there any cause that she might have that could be legitimate to say, you shouldn't be turned loose yet?
	I was very emotionally in pain a lot.
	And she probably only saw the pain.
	She didn't see the why. You know, people – It's easy to say, hey, it's here.
	It's hard to say, why are they coming out?
	And she probably had a hard time admitting that it could be her.
	Right.
	And what would you guys fight about?
	So one thing that's nice is, and this is part of the reason why I'm not an anti-white kind of immigrant.
	We never fought about race.
	Thank God that was not on the table because that could get pretty dark.
	She's white, right? My whole family that adopted me is of Dutch descendants.
	On my dad's side and on my mom's, it's Irish.
	Oh, so like, not like cool Spanish white, but like seriously northern Javex white, right?
	Oh, like Aryan. The son makes you explore a vampire white.
	Okay, got it. Yeah, like half these people couldn't be a roofer in August.
	Oh, yeah. No, a friend of mine who was Irish tried doing that job, lasted about two days, and then basically had to have his epidermis scraped off with a spatula.
	All right. So, okay, so nothing about race.
	Good, good. And what else, though?
	I did see your talk with Jared Taylor, so I might have questions about that, but that's beside the point.
	Which, by the way, good job, Jared.
	Yeah, it's funny, you know, I mean, yeah, I had a conversation with Jared Taylor, and suddenly, we're apparently twins, even though I have a conversation with Noam Chomsky, and I guess I'm now a linguistics professor at MIT or something like that.
	Like communism, too. Now we're twins, right?
	Okay. Yeah. I mean, if you talk to, say...
	The Hodge twins or that other woke black guy.
	The other woke black guy?
	I think there's more than one. There's quite a few, but anyway.
	You know, the one guy.
	Anyway, let's move on from Silly Slander.
	Not yours, of course, but other people's.
	So you didn't fight about race, but was it like you trying to become your own person and your mom is holding that back?
	Yeah. I'd say I was a black sheep in my family hard.
	I am darker than everybody else.
	I'm light enough where I could pass for Southern European like Sicilian, even though I don't know my full background, probably some European.
	I was autistic, and I lived with the craziest of the crazy in the family, of all the moms.
	And all the moms were a little bit off-kilter, but my mom was the special exception.
	And so I would always feel awkward talking to my own family.
	We would fight about issues within our own family.
	And oftentimes my mom liked it when I thought about things that were happening, you know, in our immediate family.
	She would try to get me involved in something that only involved my brother.
	And say, it's because of you that he asked like this!
	And... Wait, she would say it's because of you that your brother would act like this?
	What does that mean? Like you sucked his brain out in the womb?
	What the hell does that mean?
	She would try to find some way.
	It's not going to make sense, Stefan.
	You know that. There's got to be some surface story, even if it's a lunatic in its content.
	There's got to be some imaginary bridge across this chasm of weirdness.
	Right, right, right. There's got to be some BS excuse.
	Yeah. So her logic, if you want to call it that, was he saw me maybe behave slightly like this one time, and he's forever doing it.
	Oh, so he's aping or mimicking you, so to speak, right?
	Yeah, even if I didn't really fully do whatever it is he was doing, and he only saw me the one time.
	So apparently you have much more influence on his behavior than his own mother.
	Okay. I do, to a certain degree, but there would be plenty of times where he learned it from somebody else, and I would still be the guy to blame.
	Right, okay. And then, of course, she didn't ever say that she could have done things differently or better at any time, any way, any shape or form.
	I mean, she's hot to all these beta metals that are circling her and not to me.
	I mean, she can't do anything wrong. Right.
	No, but I mean, an inability to admit faults is one of the most exhausting personality traits to be around.
	Yeah, and I'll admit, I have admitted to myself when I was unwilling to face my own problems.
	And I think one of the best things I've ever done was start to journal and ask myself, Is this my fault?
	I think that's the best thing anyone can do.
	Or, you know, fault is, you know, could I have acted differently?
	Is there a way in which I could affect the outcome?
	Because, yeah, listen, not taking responsibility is a real wonderful drug in the short term, but it just paralyzes you in the long run.
	Okay, we know all of this. So you had an hour, and then how long was it between that and the judge's decision?
	Three days. And you were, I guess, pulled into court, and the judge sat there and said, what?
	Well, it was a she, of course.
	No, I'm just kidding. But she said, okay, so do we want him to have the right to go fishing?
	Because there's no way he can have a right to own a gun.
	I'm like, well, hold on.
	What was that last part?
	Because I'm very, very pro-Second Amendment.
	I'll say this. I really love this country.
	And when I heard, you can't own a gun, a big explosion the size of Nagasaki combined with My mom responded to the question.
	We don't want him to have a fishing license.
	Okay, but there's clearly no way we're going to allow him to have his own bank account.
	Is that what you want, Mrs.
	and Mr. blah, blah, blah?
	And they're like, yeah. Oh, your dad was there too when he was siding with your mom?
	Oh, my mom.
	My dad is one of those people who just goes along for the ride so he can get out.
	Right, okay. Okay.
	So yeah, basically I just watched as it was like a rapid-fire machine gun of, let's take away this from him.
	And you weren't consulted, of course, even though you were a legal adult and your mom didn't want you to have these freedoms and your dad folded, so you kind of got cornered in that sense.
	You didn't have an advocate.
	Did you have a lawyer on your side who was going to say, but, but, but?
	A lawyer on my side.
	That's actually unbelievably hilarious.
	I'm not making fun of you.
	I just mean from my own experience being on the inside.
	You get what's known as a guardian ad litem, and this is essentially someone who's supposed to advocate for what they think is in your best interest, and it could be the polar opposite of what you want.
	Now, I've been told recently in my states that now you also have to have advocacy counsel along with the guardian ad litem, but they're probably going to listen to the guardian ad litem.
	So nobody is defending your interests, and you're not allowed to speak, I assume, in this particular proceeding, is that right, or discouraged from it?
	Well, I could say no, and they don't want that.
	Okay, so what happens if you say, I don't agree?
	They usually say, well, why is that?
	Oh, that's cute. Let's just do this anyway.
	And were you aware that you could sort of push back or at least be on the record of disagreeing?
	I wasn't aware of hardly anything.
	I had a lot of hindsight, I'll tell you that much.
	I found, I was like, how is this legal?
	How is this legal? Internet searching.
	But no, at the time, I was really along for the ride.
	And I really wish I could go back to my 18-year-old self, slap him across the face and say, you need to figure out what's going on right now.
	Yeah, I don't know that slapping would be the right approach because he's just trying to survive.
	Okay, so how long did the decision take in the court?
	That day, three hours.
	Three hours? That's longer than I thought, I guess.
	So three hours of them saying, nope, nope, nope, to this, that, and the other, right?
	Actually, it was more like 15 minutes of them actually saying stuff, and then other stuff that I didn't understand, like lawyers talking to the judge in their chambers, them setting up the courts.
	So I was there for about three hours.
	It was like 15 minutes when it actually...
	So like a football game.
	Okay, got it. Yeah. All right, a lot of halftime.
	Yes. And so you walked out of there with no bank account, with no Second Amendment rights?
	I could have a bank account.
	I had no rights to it any more than I was allowed directly by my mother.
	I don't know if you follow the Britney Spears thing, but I think the singer, Britney Spears...
	I don't follow her. I think her dad has had control over things for quite...
	Anyway, if you haven't followed it, it doesn't really matter.
	So you walked out of there with very little, right?
	I walked out of there with the one right of being able to vote.
	I still think it's hilarious that that's the only thing they didn't take away.
	Well, I assume that that's because they think you're going to vote Democrat.
	If you told them you were conservative, they probably would have to get it there as well.
	All right. So how, I mean, is that a timed thing?
	Do they say we'll revisit in a year or six months?
	There is no set time. There is no set time.
	But they can set that up where they could revisit it at a very set time.
	They didn't. They said that they could have it where you would never be allowed to, or you would be barred from doing it before X, Y, and Z. And then at that time, then you could request it any time afterward.
	So they said it was temporary, which is unbelievably hilarious to me.
	Because it just means...
	It's whenever we feel like doing it.
	Could you have initiated at some point a review or asked a lawyer to do it?
	Or how does that work? Yes, I could.
	The problem is the process of doing it is, first off, very complicated to even understand how it's done.
	Most people wouldn't tell me.
	It was only until I got legal insurance, which I didn't actually buy myself, a friend actually bought it for me.
	And, you know, they would ask questions for me, actually, where you could get unlimited consultation but no necessary representation.
	It was only then that I actually found out, here's how you do it.
	I think the most painful part about it all was, man, I've looked up to you, Lauren, James Alsop, Stephen Crowder, all these people out here, and I've watched the Paris riots and Everything else that's been happening, Antifa, from a computer screen, lying on my bed with no hope of freedom.
	And also, high schoolers moving on with their lives, getting married.
	Oh yeah, that feeling of being left behind is very rough.
	It's almost like...
	um i watched this movie i think it was called open water about people who got accidentally left behind while scuba diving or snorkeling and and and they're watching the the boat go away and they're stuck there in the open water in the middle of nowhere and the ocean and you know that feeling of you know the trains leaving the station the station's closing down i'm just living among the cobwebs from here to the end of time uh that that's rough man that is a rough feeling and i really sympathize with that i think it's i think when lauren left
	i think that was kind of the big, oh, Jesus Christ, I missed everything.
	And now I'm sure that's probably somewhat inaccurate because I'm pretty sure there's plenty of things that are going to happen in the future.
	But Six years straight, man.
	It will do stuff to you. I know you've been watching stuff, and you said you had a low-paying job.
	Is that right? Yes.
	I worked at a grocery store for quite a while.
	I actually was doing pretty well.
	I worked in the meat departments.
	And I was making $11.50 an hour US, which I don't know how to convert that into Canadian.
	And it's like $14.50, something like that.
	Okay. You know, that's $28.30k a year.
	That's not bad for a young guy.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was training to become a butcher.
	Because they do free training at the store I was at, because it's a large chain.
	No, listen, if you can't own a gun, at least you can have access to a wide array of machetes.
	No, I'm just kidding. Well, hey, I do have a book called 100 Deadly Skills.
	I mean, I could always figure something out.
	For me, it's eating Indian, but all right.
	So you're working, training for butcherdom, butcher guy, being a butcher.
	And how did that go? Butchery.
	So I'm working underneath the butcher.
	I'm working underneath a butcher.
	It was hard as hell, but I loved it.
	Because it was the good kind of...
	It's a kind of, I've been lifting weights, and I don't know if I can get this last rep, but oh, I need to!
	And you know, you know you're accomplishing something kind of feeling.
	You know what I mean? Yeah, I do.
	I do. Yeah. Well, I mean, you and I both know the cross-country days, so...
	Oh, yeah. Yeah.
	But it was nice.
	It was nice. And they said once I asked you to become a butcher, they knocked me up $2.
	Right, okay. Plus bonuses once every year.
	And what happened with that?
	Is that still going on? No.
	And the reason why, it's not actually to do with my mother.
	It's actually to do with corporate politics.
	And thank God it wasn't because I misgendered anybody.
	Thank God we don't have that policy yet.
	I just jinxed it, I guarantee you.
	Yeah. No, no.
	No magical thinking. This is a philosophy show.
	Okay, okay. So, what it was is that there was a girl who was 17, and we were just friends.
	That's all we were. I broke off with my girlfriend at the time, and I had known this girl way before me and this other girl were dating.
	So, nothing between us.
	But as you know, 18 is the legal age here in the U.S., And so at the end of the conversation, all I did was I put my hand on her shoulder before she was about to leave and say, oh wait, there was one more thing and then I said the one more thing.
	Then some other girl, some other girl that had a bit of an attitude problem, said, uh-uh, you shouldn't be touching people on their shoulders.
	That might make them feel uncomfortable.
	I looked over to her and I said, did you care?
	She's like, no, I don't care.
	Who cares? Well, guess who reported me to HR? There you go.
	But the attitude problem.
	Uh-huh. Bingo.
	Right dead on the money. And the cops actually were called into the store.
	Full uniform, vest and everything.
	And they asked questions of the people.
	They actually took me aside and they took other people aside.
	And then they watched video footage and they said, okay, there's clearly no crime here.
	It was just on the shoulder. That's not sexual.
	Didn't matter. Because now my reputation at that store was ruined, and the closest store that is to me is 30 minutes away by car, and I should explain, my car got hit a while back.
	So I've been using Uber.
	And yeah, you can't have a career if you've got an Uber to work, right?
	Oh, if it's close by, absolutely.
	If it's far, no, no, never.
	The price, when it gets long distance, is insane.
	Yeah. Yeah.
	Well, I'm sorry about all of that.
	And how long ago was that?
	Actually, it was at the beginning of 2019.
	Happy New Year. Okay.
	And since then, you've been unemployed, right?
	Yeah. Okay.
	So, what are your options to challenge what happened six years ago that you know of?
	Be honest, dude. The only thing I've ever thought of, and I'm not saying I'm going to do this, the only thing I could ever think of is Getting a visa and hopping over to Toronto and saying goodbye to the U.S. Honestly.
	Ah, okay. And...
	Because the extradition treaty says they would extradite me, and I'm not even saying that I'm doing that, just for the record.
	Oh, okay. I don't know anything about that, but that would give you some options, right?
	Well, I have an SIN number, and they wouldn't enforce the guardianship overseas.
	Well, not overseas. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I get it. Other country, right?
	Okay. Right, right, right, right.
	And plus, I'm not going to Mexico.
	Mexicans don't even want to be in Mexico.
	Right, right, okay. So north or west, okay.
	Yeah. And is there any chance to attempt to get the existing ruling overturned or retain some of your rights?
	Yes, I'm going for a hearing, and I recently had a new psyche val, which I haven't been able to see.
	Here's one thing that can scare me.
	The judge might still honor the first psyche val, and if that's the case and the next one is good, I'll be okay.
	I won't be in great shape, but I'll be okay.
	If the next psyche val is bad, I could be submitted to an asylum against my will.
	And the likelihood that I would leave is not very high.
	And even worse than that, I can immediately call off the request to terminate, and if I call off the request, nothing changes.
	I don't get more or less free.
	But I would only be able to find out what the psyche val is about half an hour before we actually go see the judge.
	Really? Yeah, so at that moment, I would have to ask myself, oh my god, is this worth it?
	I do not want to go to a ward.
	No, that's, yeah, I mean, that's much worse than where you are, which is not great at all, right?
	Yeah. When did you have the last Psychoval done?
	Honestly, when I was 18. I've only had two.
	No, but the one... Wait, that's right, the last one.
	Yeah, that's the most recent one. I'm sorry.
	Now, is your mother...
	I mean, does your mother...
	When you talk to your mother about this stuff, if you do, does she have any sense of like, yeah, you know, this is not great for you.
	What can we do to change it?
	I mean, if she were to testify on your behalf, like, oh, yeah, he a good boy kind of thing.
	I mean, would that help out?
	I can, but like, it's kind of like...
	That's the best way I can explain it.
	It's kind of like if you're a fat SOB, but you start using coconut oil, and that's it.
	It does very little, but it does something.
	Okay, okay, okay.
	But is she fine with the way things are?
	She's actually okay with me leaving, but she's only okay, and she said this herself, because I want you the hell out.
	Oh, so it's her needs, her frustration, rather than what would be better for you.
	Yeah. Honestly, once I get out, man, my big question is, what the hell do I do?
	I mean, I definitely need to find a job.
	I'm going to try to have that, no matter what.
	No matter what, I definitely need a source of income.
	But it feels like I've watched you and all the other people online and all the other people from my high school and all the events that have taken place that have been interested in do the whole going away with the boats while the people are left behind thing.
	But wouldn't there be, if you were given permission for independence, that Wouldn't there be some resources available to help you achieve that, to get you set up, to get you trained, to get you housing, like something like that, right?
	I've looked into it.
	It really not only varies by the state, and my state isn't that great for it.
	From what I've seen, it's not only minimal, but it depends on if you get a full guardianship retracted or if you get a half guardianship retracted.
	And if you get a full one, they give you very little.
	It's usually just some counseling, some minor counseling with talking to a therapist.
	If it's half, half of it's gone and someone else helps you out, but you can move and you can live somewhere else and you can pay for some things you want.
	Like you get a set amount of money that you're allowed to take out of your accounts.
	Then they give you help because then they think, ooh, he needs help.
	But when you're perfectly capable, then, well, they're like, well, enjoy the cold.
	Yeah, see, look, this is why I'm not a professional in this area, as everybody knows, right?
	So I'm just talking out of my amateur internet butthole here.
	But no, this is the, like, if you hadn't told me, oh, I've got all of these, this autism and so on, like, I'm having a conversation with you, I wouldn't know there was anything, quote, wrong with you.
	That's because you can't see my body.
	What? Are you contortioning yourself right now?
	Are you in a suitcase talking to me?
	Like, what do you mean? More like I wouldn't make eye contact very often.
	I try to, but I probably forget a lot.
	And I would oftentimes, like, if you had a very particular emotion, I can't see your face right now.
	And when I watch this episode, because I'm definitely going to watch it, there's going to be a lot of things that I would have to pick up on if we were sitting face-to-face that I... Basically, I would be just as blind then as I am now.
	Well, yeah, I mean, okay.
	I mean, I grew up and played Dungeons& Dragons with guys who, you know, they'll recognize a Minotaur before they'll recognize bemused resignation in another human face.
	So, for me, I mean, the quote, the oddballs, you know, that...
	Again, I'm no professional, but I wouldn't sit there and say, oh, yeah, man, that guy's really got something going on that's mostly strange.
	I mean, we're just having a regular old conversation.
	So anyway, I just sort of wanted to point that out.
	And sort of people who were listening to this, it's like, so that's what an autistic person sounds like, according to the diagnosis.
	It'd be like, well, yeah. And how is that different?
	Well, I guess... If we don't see you, we don't really know that much, right?
	Whereas if I was talking to your brother, it'd be a whole different...
	Like, that'd be obvious, right?
	If I was talking to your twin, it's like, yeah, nothing's really going on here as far as conversation goes.
	But I just sort of wanted to point that out.
	That's quite...
	It wasn't what I was expecting as far as that goes.
	I mean, some friends of mine, I knew back in the day, they had...
	I have a son who was autistic and conversationally you could really tell that and that's not my experience with this.
	I just sort of pointed that out.
	This doesn't mean anything. I'm just telling you that it would not be something where I'd be like, meh, meh, meh, wow, there's something really going on here that's unusual or whatever, right?
	Well, if I may, there's not only a spectrum, so I'm high function.
	So first off, there's that. Have you ever heard of Aiden Paladin?
	No. Oh, she actually, Coach Red Pill and her, well, know each other pretty well.
	I'm pretty sure you know who Coach Red Pill is.
	I do. Yes, although he made a really bad video called Autism is a Choice where he said every form of autism other than the kind where you drool in the corner is not real.
	I was like, I can show you evidence, but from science, that's false.
	That actually made me mad because that's scientifically false.
	But Aiden Paladin is a PhD, and she's also a female with autism, and she's high-functioning as well.
	And if you want to know... She's not the woman who created the hug machine, is she?
	That would be a different woman.
	Okay, I guess I have read about that.
	But anyway, go on. Yeah, you should look up her.
	That's Temple Grand is who you're thinking of.
	She actually is very interesting herself.
	But Aiden talked about how, you know, she's had to ask out every one of the boys she's ever dated...
	Because, you know, they said, you're cute, but I always thought you were kind of this unlikable B-word.
	Because of how little you'd actually pay attention to what I was saying.
	But if you hear her narrate, she speaks perfectly fine.
	So, I guess, yeah.
	I just wanted to be clear about that.
	Okay, so let me give you the philosophical part of the conversation.
	And listen, massive sympathies.
	Massive sympathies for everything.
	I mean, for everything. For the divorce, for the spineless dad, for the domineering mother, for the brother, for, like, I mean, for everything.
	I just really want to give you massive sympathy.
	That's a hell of a lot to carry.
	It's a hell of a lot to carry. And, of course, you deserve none of it.
	And I just really wanted to give you my sympathy for that.
	Now, as far as what you go in your future.
	So... You know what a catapult is, right?
	Of course you do, right? Yes, I do.
	Yeah, engineering guy, right? You probably knew about it, right?
	Absolutely. Obviously, a catapult, right, for those who don't know, it's like this Y-shaped thing.
	It's just like the kid catapult.
	And you put rubber bands on it, and you pull something back, this little pouch, and you use it to hurl rocks or whatever at tin cans in the woods or something like that.
	Okay, so listen.
	You, I believe, are in the state of the full maximum pullback of the catapult.
	Ooh, I like this.
	No, seriously. Because I'll tell you this, man.
	Let's say that you get to taste freedom, right?
	Real freedom, right?
	Let's say this works out.
	Let's say you find some way to do it, right?
	Like, you get to taste real freedom.
	So basically not Canadian freedom.
	I'm sorry. I'm going to be honest.
	Well, you know, however it happens, right?
	However it happens, you get to taste real freedom.
	Maybe this new Psyche of Al is very positive.
	Whatever it is, you get to taste real freedom.
	You know what will never, ever get old to you?
	The taste of real freedom. You will enjoy and savor the succulent taste of that freedom for the rest of your natural born days.
	You will never, ever, ever take it for granted.
	And that is something that is going to give you great joy over the course of your life because so many people take their lives for granted.
	They take their health for granted.
	They take their friendships.
	They take their marriage.
	They take their children for granted.
	They take their careers for granted, right?
	But you will never be in the position where you will take anything for granted.
	And that is going to give you a propulsion and a joy and an energy and an enthusiasm in life that is going to make you, I believe, kind of unbeatable in a lot of situations.
	questions.
	You know, like... Well, I'll say...
	Do you mind if I say this?
	Yeah, yeah. So, okay.
	So, first off, although, by the way, about my dad, I wouldn't say spineless.
	I would just say just indifference.
	He wasn't scared. You said he goes along with people and...
	Okay, okay, indifference. Fine.
	Go ahead. Yeah, yeah.
	Well, he goes along with things if he doesn't care.
	But, yeah, but I will say this...
	I remember one time I had the choice of either coming home with my mom who was angry at me for, I don't remember what the reason was one night, but I was at a friend's house on the other side of town.
	Coming home with her and she would then take something of mine that gave me a lot of freedom.
	It was some kind of book I think I had that she knew I was using to outsmart her ability to Keep me off the internet.
	Things like that. Some kind of tech book.
	I don't even think I have it anymore.
	Or I could walk home.
	I walked the whole way home and I said...
	This would always be better.
	Well, and this is the thing, too.
	If your mother genuinely thought that you had major mental health issues or major functional issues, she wouldn't be fighting with you all the time.
	That's the bullshit of the whole situation, right?
	Yeah. But the point of what I was trying to make is that that catapult you were talking about, that feeling of fire in your stomach where you're like, nothing will stop you.
	It was the middle of February with gale force winds.
	Yep. No, I get that.
	Listen, I mean, so why did I end up with such a big philosophy show?
	Because I love philosophy more than other people.
	I love philosophy. I love telling the truth more than other people.
	And having a certain amount of contempt or indifference to the negative opinions of others is actually essential to the pursuit of truth.
	So... Your sort of distance from emotional reading and all of that is not, to me, at all the end of the world as far as you having the beliefs that you have and needing to go out and fight in the world to achieve the life that you want and spread the values that you care about.
	So you will never, ever take freedom for granted.
	You will never, ever take freedom.
	and independence for granted.
	And that is a hell of a foundation to have for a happy life because there's lots of people who have 100 times the freedom you have who care about it less.
	And you know that moment you have if you, you know, you almost step on the street and somebody almost hits you in a car and you're like that moment of like, man, that's the best lungful of air I've ever tasted.
	I don't think you're ever going to taste a lungful of air, not in the dank cellar of your mother's house and not feel like it's the sweetest air.
	So as far as that goes, you're being set up for a very happy and appreciated life.
	And I think it is going to give you a fire in the belly.
	Look, everybody ends up kind of at the same place in a lot of ways because the people who have unnatural advantages, like they're super good looking or very tall or charismatic or they inherit money or whatever it is, right?
	Those people often, it's like if you've got a one-mile race and you start at a half mile, you just run slower.
	And if you start a half mile back, so it's actually a mile and a half race, what do you do?
	You run faster! So people always adapt to their circumstances.
	You say, oh my god, I've lost six years.
	I'm not going to brush over that like that ain't no thing.
	It is a big thing. But what that means is you are ready to run.
	You are warm. You are limber.
	You are trained. You are eager.
	You are ready to run.
	So the ground that you can cover when you become free is going to be blinding relative to the other slugs who are taking their liberties for granted.
	Yeah, and I'll be willing to do a lot of things that other people won't.
	I'll know discomfort and discomfort will be my friend while everyone else will be like, ew!
	Right. You will be willing to work hard.
	You will be willing to work late.
	You will be willing to out-compete you.
	So as far as like this feeling, like if you didn't have a feeling of panic about being left behind, I wouldn't be saying this, but you do have that feeling of panic, right?
	Right. Like I've said this before, I remember very vividly this guy in his 50s calling me saying, you know, I'm living in my brother's garage, but I don't want to panic.
	And I'm like... You kind of do, actually.
	Panic would be a very good thing to occur to you.
	But you're panicking and you're 24.
	Now listen, I'm not trying to say that the 18 to 24 thing doesn't matter.
	It really, really does. At 24, you're still a young man.
	I didn't start my business career until I was 26 or 27.
	I didn't start this philosophy thing until I was close to 40.
	Whoa. Right?
	Grandma Moses didn't start painting since she was 80.
	Like, so I'm not saying wait till you're 80, obviously, right?
	But, you know, 24, you're not done not by a long shot.
	And there are a lot of people who have changed careers or got the thing going that they're fine.
	Like, I really didn't find out what I love to do the most until I was not far off from twice your age.
	Really? Yeah.
	I love philosophy, but I was close to 40 before I started doing it, and I think I was.
	40 or maybe 41 when I started doing it full time.
	Yeah. And so, you know, that's a lot of years.
	That's like 16 years past where you are.
	That's when I finally hit my groove and figured out what was best for me and best for the world and all that, right?
	Mm-hmm. You will...
	When that gate opens, you will bolt to the point where you will overtake all the people who are just ambling along because they take all of their freedoms for granted.
	So don't look at what you're doing as a permanent depression in the course of your life.
	Look at it like you are at the maximum pull of the catapult.
	And when that gets going, you will burn through the sky, man.
	Well, I'll say this...
	I would like you on your own free time and anyone listening to look up this one song.
	This is one song I just discovered just because I was a fan of the show Navy Seals.
	Although I want to say I'm not a warmonger.
	I don't believe everywhere we're being sent is a good place.
	But I'm a huge fan of...
	Is it a song by Seal?
	No, I'm just kidding. Go on. How'd you know?
	Love's divine. Anyway, go on.
	But anyway, it's a song called Eye of the Storm and it's by Watt...
	White. All you need to do is really look at the lyrics, and you kind of realize that it feels like the perfect song to play once you get that catapult going.
	And who's the band again?
	Watt, White.
	It's actually spelled W-A-T-T. Yeah, okay.
	So, White, however, I'm sure depending on if you're from the U.S. or Canada, it'll be different.
	Yeah. But the song itself, if you ever want to feel like an uptick, it always helps me.
	But yeah, that sounds really, really good.
	And I, you know, I'll say this.
	While my dad wasn't perfect, he wasn't great at all.
	There are things I have learned to learn from him.
	You can learn from anybody, I think.
	And I am Catholic, so even though you're kind of a cultural Christian who doesn't believe in the deity, I actually believe that everything does happen for a reason, and I just didn't know what the reason was here.
	He didn't go back to school until he was 29, and he went for engineering.
	And he has a master's in mechanical engineering.
	So if nothing else, there are a lot of people who can start their life later on.
	But I guess, you know, being in the place that I'm in, it's hard to see the forest through the trees when everything just looks like death, destruction, pain.
	Ugh.
	Right, right, right.
	And being liberated from that is...
	A very powerful thing in your life.
	And look, it doesn't mean that it was good that you've been stuck for six years.
	It doesn't. But what's the maximum good you can get out of it?
	Or what's the reason behind that that can make it...
	What's the maximum good you can get out of a negative situation?
	That's the way you fight negativity.
	And you can always be surprised.
	I'm now of the habit of saying, you know...
	There's an old thing about...
	Somebody said, somebody asked a Chinese person, like, what do you think of this particular political movement that's been going on for 150 years?
	He said, it's too soon to tell.
	And it's true, like, so what has it been like for the last six years for you?
	It's too soon to tell. You got a hell of an education.
	You read, you thought, you learned, you shook yourself out of the passivity that characterized yourself.
	You said you want to go smack yourself when you were 18 to get aware and alert to the process.
	That's never going to happen again, right?
	Absolutely. And you've changed your mind and you have thirsted enormously for...
	Freedom. And you are ready to, not roll, because that sounds very passive, ready to propel, right?
	You are suited up, you are jet-packed, you are ready to rise.
	And the maximum good that you can get out of what's happened is...
	To own your life completely.
	To never take your freedoms for granted.
	And to work so hell...
	To work so much to catch up that you vastly take over.
	And then you look back and say, it wasn't good, but it was worth it.
	Yeah. I mean, I like to say it like this.
	If you've got your leg blown off...
	That's just one more reason to run a marathon. - Yeah, that's a fair way to put it.
	And that's the maximum good you can get out of bad stuff.
	It's the maximum good you can get out of bad stuff. - Yeah, yeah.
	And I'll say this, do you think there are more crazy adventures of the politically incompetent needing to be called out for the politically incompetent to come?
	For, you know, 'cause that's something I'd like to do It's like, I mean, I really looked up, I haven't finished your Hong Kong documentary, but doing a documentary myself and making a difference, you know, by stopping bad people, you know, that seems like something I definitely want to do.
	There's no reason why you can't, man.
	I mean, there's no reason why you can't.
	And you may be more comfortable looking at a camera than a person, right?
	Yeah. That's true.
	Although I do want to learn social skills because I don't, you know, there's nothing wrong with learning social skills, you know.
	Right. No, I agree with that.
	I agree with that. Well, listen, that's most of what I wanted to say.
	I really, really do appreciate your time today.
	Will you let me know what happens as you move forward?
	I'm certainly very, very curious and want to stay abreast of the situation.
	I'll send you a box of chocolates.
	No, I'm just kidding. Like, hey, I'm free!
	Yeah, no kidding. Oh, I thought it was a Forrest Gump reference.
	Yeah, no, keep me posted about what's going in particular, what's happening out of the eval that you had done last month, and I certainly wish you the very best.
	I get to panic, and I'm not saying don't panic, but don't panic like it's over.
	Panic like you've got to run.
	You've got to go and get your life started, and I really think you'll do amazing things, and you should be very positive and enthusiastic about all of that.
	Well, I'll say one thing for sure.
	If I become as well-known as you and Lauren Southern and Steven Crowder and all these other people I've been mentioning, Jared Taylor and everybody, I'll make sure to make a video saying that I was here and this was one of the best things that was ever done for me when it came to my success.
	I'll make sure you get all the credit you need.
	Well, I appreciate that, but it's all going to accrue to you.
	So keep me posted. Thanks again for your time today and have yourself, well, a good next couple of weeks, man.
	I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Thanks, brother.
	Take care. Bye. Well, thank you so much for enjoying this latest Free Domain show on philosophy.
	And I'm going to be frank and ask you for your help, your support, your encouragement, and your resources.
	Please like, subscribe, and share, and all of that good stuff to get philosophy out into the world.
	And also, equally importantly, go to freedomain.com forward slash donate.
	To help out the show, to give me the resources that I need to bring more and better philosophy to an increasingly desperate world.
	So thank you so much for your support, my friends.

▲