Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux - EPIC Dad/Daughter Minecraft Battle - RIP Headphone Users!!!
Aired: 2019-10-24
Duration: 33:41


=== Equip Vulnerability (14:28) ===

[00:00:00]  All right. The Stefan and Isabella Minecraft spectacular is continuing.
[00:00:05]  Yeah. The pixelated daddy humiliation metric rolls forward as it should.
[00:00:11]  Absolutely. All right. So just on the bottom here, for those who don't know, there's hearts and there's chicken.
[00:00:18]  And that means that I'm thinking about food and Isabella is thinking of love.
[00:00:25]  There we go. We're killing each other this round, by the way.
[00:00:27]  We what? We have to fight each other to the death.
[00:00:30]  We're fighting each other? Yeah.
[00:00:31]  So, how is this different from our everyday existence?
[00:00:34]  Yeah, not too bad. And by the way, you are not...
[00:00:37]  We engage in mock verbal battles.
[00:00:39]  Do not hurt the kitty inside.
[00:00:40]  Alright, hang on. Okay, so let me just have a quick look around here.
[00:00:43]  Nope, don't go that way. Go through the door.
[00:00:46]  Ignore the door. There's stuff in the air!
[00:00:48]  Yes, just go. Okay, so I don't really know what you've been doing, other than it's going to result in me not looking particularly intelligent.
[00:00:54]  Probably. So explain to me, are these tripwires?
[00:00:57]  Do I have to go around them? Nope, just go into the door.
[00:01:00]  They're supposed to look like stones.
[00:01:01]  Oh. Oh, we got teams here.
[00:01:03]  No, we're not teaming.
[00:01:05]  Team green, team blue, team purple, team pink.
[00:01:07]  I call purple. Only because it matches my skin.
[00:01:09]  I call purple. You know, whatever you want.
[00:01:13]  This is a sort of staple in our household.
[00:01:15]  Now, pull the lever for whatever...
[00:01:16]  Excuse me, I'm rambling.
[00:01:17]  Fine, okay. A staple in the household.
[00:01:18]  When you choose something, what do I immediately want?
[00:01:21]  Desperately, more than anything else.
[00:01:22]  That exact same thing. I said, I'm going to have the coffee crisp.
[00:01:26]  And you said, I want the coffee crisp.
[00:01:27]  And I thought your favorite was Snickers.
[00:01:29]  I don't really like coffee crisp, but...
[00:01:31]  I know, but you just feel like you have to have it.
[00:01:33]  It's, um, the grass is greener.
[00:01:35]  Like, whatever you have is something that I must desperately have.
[00:01:38]  No, no, no. Don't choose purple.
[00:01:39]  So, Dad, pull the lever for whatever...
[00:01:41]  But why? What am I doing with the lever?
[00:01:42]  Just pull it. Say team blue.
[00:01:44]  For which one? Team blue.
[00:01:46]  Whatever we want. No, not purple!
[00:01:47]  Okay, team blue. Click it.
[00:01:48]  Right click? Yeah. I don't know what click it is.
[00:01:51]  Done. So...
[00:01:53]  Ooh, I'm up in this floaty sky thing.
[00:01:55]  Yeah. Something's on fire.
[00:01:58]  Because... Now get your items!
[00:02:00]  Wait, I'm not trying to blow it out. I'm just trying to fan the flames as I usually do.
[00:02:02]  Dad, get your items. Check the barrel.
[00:02:04]  No, no, no. Check the barrel?
[00:02:06]  The barrel is right there. No, the brown thing.
[00:02:08]  Oh, that's a barrel? Yeah, that's a barrel.
[00:02:10]  It's not round. I said the brown thing!
[00:02:12]  Not a barrel. Oops.
[00:02:14]  No, you said the wrong thing.
[00:02:16]  Teleport. Wait.
[00:02:18]  No! Hang, wait, wait, wait.
[00:02:19]  No, stop, stop! Make daddy win!
[00:02:23]  Oh. You're not allowed.
[00:02:25]  I made you not allowed to chat.
[00:02:27]  All right. Okay, so I've got a leather cap.
[00:02:30]  I've got leather pants. This is just a regular day for me.
[00:02:32]  No, equip everything. So what you have to do is you have to put it here.
[00:02:35]  Oh, yeah, right, right. Thank you. Now, equip everything.
[00:02:38]  All right. Can I equip high-resolution doll?
[00:02:41]  No. Snowball?
[00:02:42]  Wait, is that snowballs? You shoot each other with snowballs.
[00:02:44]  You can throw snowballs.
[00:02:45]  Oh, I've got a bow. I love those things.
[00:02:47]  Great. All right. Light blue...
[00:02:50]  Really? With throwing concrete at each other?
[00:02:52]  No! You built to the main blue area.
[00:02:55]  I what? Built to the main blue area.
[00:02:57]  And Dad, put everything on your bar there.
[00:02:59]  There? Yes. And now I have to equip it, right?
[00:03:01]  And put the concrete on the bar too.
[00:03:02]  Ah. Oh, that's a good coincidence.
[00:03:04]  There's like nine here and nine there?
[00:03:08]  I know. I did that on purpose. Oh.
[00:03:10]  Although, you have to get rid of all your urban needs.
[00:03:13]  Okay, I'm going to the main... I'm going to still try and blow up the fire here.
[00:03:16]  Why should Minecraft be any different than my Twitter account where I'm constantly trying to fan the flames?
[00:03:20]  Alright. Actually, I don't really try to fan the flames.
[00:03:22]  The flames just get fanned whether I like it or not.
[00:03:24]  Don't break anything! Please, please, please!
[00:03:25]  I'm not. I'm climbing the tree.
[00:03:27]  Don't climb the tree, Dad. You have to go to the mainland.
[00:03:28]  Oh, I feel dizzy. This is called Sky Wars!
[00:03:31]  It's called Sky Wars? Yeah, I copied that name from a server.
[00:03:34]  Hang on. Can I shoot an arrow at the cloud then?
[00:03:36]  Yeah, have fun, but don't waste your arrows.
[00:03:37]  You only get 20. Oh, I forgot about the huge thing I made down in the middle.
[00:03:44]  No! Did I hit you?
[00:03:47]  No, but I got your arrow.
[00:03:48]  I need you to hold still. Okay.
[00:03:50]  Wait, can I shoot that far?
[00:03:53]  Oh! Oh, this is looking good.
[00:03:56]  No, stay still. No, you're still moving.
[00:04:00]  Oh! Okay, this is great.
[00:04:02]  I like this game so far.
[00:04:03]  It's an arrowing experience.
[00:04:05]  Oh, dad joke. Bad one, too.
[00:04:08]  That is dad joke by definition.
[00:04:11]  Yeah, technically all dad jokes are bad.
[00:04:14]  Ow! So far so good.
[00:04:17]  I can't die! I can't die.
[00:04:21]  You know, it sort of reminds me of when we went to go and play laser tag.
[00:04:24]  By the way. So when we went to go and play laser tag, I must say that it did feel a bit creepy hunting my child in the dark with a gun.
[00:04:32]  It was fun! It felt very symmetry-ish.
[00:04:35]  Alright, so where am I? Do I have to stay on my own?
[00:04:37]  Oh, something just flew past me by accident.
[00:04:40]  Ow!
[00:04:41]  Oh, I've got no place to hide here.
[00:04:48]  Yeah, too bad for you. Build a block.
[00:04:50]  I bit you! I fell.
[00:04:53]  Why don't you use your cape?
[00:04:55]  I'm just showing you. Look, look, look, stop.
[00:04:57]  When you fall, you just go back to the house.
[00:04:59]  You spawn at the house again and just click your team.
[00:05:02]  Oh, so you just respawn, right? Yeah, you just respawn.
[00:05:04]  With all your items, too. Okay.
[00:05:09]  All right. Oh, you threw snowballs at me?
[00:05:13]  Yeah. I must say that this global warming is very, very powerful in this game.
[00:05:19]  I got rid of all my snowballs because I didn't feel like them.
[00:05:21]  All right. Hang on. If I do- I stole your arrows.
[00:05:27]  I want to build lower.
[00:05:28]  I forgot about that. You can't.
[00:05:31]  Why? Stop, stop, stop.
[00:05:32]  Because there's carpet. Carpet?
[00:05:35]  Yeah, I built carpet there.
[00:05:36]  That's not grass. Oh, there's carpet?
[00:05:38]  Yeah. Man, that's an ugly carpet.
[00:05:40]  I gotta tell ya. Oh, I got to the mainland!
[00:05:45]  I gotta get all the weapons, Dad!
[00:05:46]  Wait, the main what? The mainland.
[00:05:48]  This is the big main area. Please stop building blocks in your house.
[00:05:51]  So what you do, Dad? Go into sneak.
[00:05:53]  Oh, or do that. Okay, sounds good.
[00:05:55]  Okay, that's creepy. Oh, and is it blue because I'm blue?
[00:06:00]  Yeah. Equip your armor!
[00:06:01]  Wait, wait, I need the hook button. Eclip your armor, for goodness sake.
[00:06:06]  Oh, uh, yeah. Okay, hang on.
[00:06:07]  Uh, one leather cap.
[00:06:10]  And then... Did you tell me to equip my armor so that I would then be...
[00:06:19]  You were supposed to do it! Hang on. Did you tell me to equip my armor so that I would be vulnerable to sneak attacks?
[00:06:24]  No! I didn't.
[00:06:26]  No, what happened was is I told you to equip your...
[00:06:28]  Look, the screen is still tilted in sadness.
[00:06:30]  Dad! Dad! The reason you get armor is so that you can equip it, not just hold it.
[00:06:34]  No, the reason you get armor is so that your child can say, Oh, put the armor on so I can shoot an arrow up your nose!
[00:06:39]  Yeah! Respawn.
[00:06:41]  You're rude. Okay. Alright, I'm going into the house, and I'm going to take it out on the kitty.
[00:06:45]  Blue team, blue team, blue team.
[00:06:47]  Only clicker on the kitty. Now do I keep?
[00:06:48]  Oh good, okay. Too bad I said so.
[00:06:50]  Hang on. Just put the rest of your items on.
[00:06:58]  No, Dad, you have to put the rest of your items on.
[00:06:59]  Oh, that's right. I've got these, right?
[00:07:00]  Now they're boots. Leather tunic.
[00:07:04]  Just to make you look cool.
[00:07:05]  And I'm not getting all the items.
[00:07:07]  That's if I need those things to look cool.
[00:07:08]  Yeah, you do. Wait, let me just keep working on things here.
[00:07:14]  I hit you! Oh, I'm one pixel to the wrong side.
[00:07:24]  Oh, wait! Ah!
[00:07:26]  Run away! Run away!
[00:07:28]  Bravely run away! Hey!
[00:07:30]  Can you throw me some arrows? Arrows.
[00:07:37]  Alright, hang on.
[00:07:39]  Maybe I can figure something else out here.
[00:07:41]  Throw my snowballs.
[00:07:45]  You have to build up. No, Dad, you have to build up.
[00:07:47]  Don't break it! Why?
[00:07:48]  Build up. Just build up, please.
[00:07:50]  Okay, don't shoot me for like 30 seconds.
[00:07:52]  Let's pretend that it's like Christmas peace in World War I or something.
[00:07:55]  All right. All right.
[00:07:57]  So hang on a sec here.
[00:07:58]  What the? Hey! You didn't.
[00:08:01]  You finished. You got to mainland.
[00:08:03]  Izzy, I was hoping I'm sneaking up and attacking you.
[00:08:06]  I know. You have to go into sneak for your name to disappear.
[00:08:10]  Now, if my name had disappeared, would that mean you wouldn't have attacked me?
[00:08:12]  No. Look at the horrible things you've done to- I'm just going to do something- You've done to world philosophy!
[00:08:16]  Wait, I'm going to go into settings and I'm just going to put on hide name.
[00:08:19]  Huh? Hide name.
[00:08:20]  Alright. Oops. Ouch.
[00:08:23]  Something bad just happened. Dad, can you go into your settings really fast?
[00:08:27]  Maybe. Please. Go into your settings.
[00:08:29]  Now go into down, down, down.
[00:08:31]  No, no, scroll down. Keep going.
[00:08:33]  Video. Click video. Now, go down, go down.
[00:08:36]  Go down. No, just keep going down.
[00:08:38]  I'll keep going down. In-game player names, click it.
[00:08:41]  Okay, great. Leave it like that.
[00:08:43]  We can't see each other's names now.
[00:08:45]  It just makes it easier. I'm invisible.
[00:08:49]  You're not. Oh, there we go.
[00:08:51]  So you'll give me a chance to get sorted out here, right?
[00:08:54]  Before you start attacking me viciously.
[00:09:00]  Okay, I'm going to take the stuff from the mainland now.
[00:09:03]  Look how much stuff there is in here!
[00:09:04]  Wait, I'm coming back up!
[00:09:06]  Look, look! Quick respawn already!
[00:09:08]  I'm going to take all your stuff. You're going to what?
[00:09:10]  Look, look, look. There's stuff in the mainland, Ed.
[00:09:12]  Better armor and everything. You keep saying mainland like I have some clue what that means.
[00:09:16]  Yeah, well, too bad. Alright, here we go.
[00:09:19]  Because too badness. Oh, I'm going to die now.
[00:09:21]  He's going to kill me. I'm totally sure of it.
[00:09:25]  Oh, I died! You have gone the color of ketchup and all is well in the land.
[00:09:29]  You're a color of ketchup.
[00:09:30]  How did I live? I have not seen that much sun.
[00:09:32]  Okay, this is glitching.
[00:09:33]  I lived. You lived?
[00:09:35]  I lived. Oh, so what you're saying is that the Minecraft world that you designed is advantageous to you.
[00:09:43]  I died last time.
[00:09:44]  So it's randomly advantageous to you.
[00:09:47]  Dad, find the barrels. There are barrels here.
[00:09:51]  Can I just hack at the flowers for a while?
[00:09:53]  No, don't kill the flowers.
[00:09:54]  Support flowers. That's a barrel.
[00:09:58]  What? Where? That's a barrel.
[00:10:00]  Where? People are going to give you the rudest comments.
[00:10:04]  Well, it wouldn't be the first time I've seen rude comments on my show.
[00:10:07]  All right. True. Where is the barrel?
[00:10:09]  Oh, I found the barrel! Yay!
[00:10:11]  A poison arrow?
[00:10:12]  Ooh, I better be careful handling that.
[00:10:14]  Okay. Arrow of poison.
[00:10:16]  Wait, what's the difference between...
[00:10:17]  Oh, they're both arrow of poison.
[00:10:18]  Okay, so I can combine these. Okay, now you're just going to come up and kill me, right?
[00:10:21]  Okay. Wait!
[00:10:23]  Don't do it! Ah! Run!
[00:10:26]  Wait, I refuse to refuse to...
[00:10:28]  Oh. I was going to say, if I don't resume the game, do I live?
[00:10:31]  No. Oh.
[00:10:35]  Just vicious. I'm going to take the armor, thank you.
[00:10:37]  Is there... No!
[00:10:39]  Is there any kindness in this game?
[00:10:41]  Absolutely. No, Dad. Any consideration for your...
[00:10:42]  No, Dad! We kill each other!
[00:10:44]  Get over it! I will do my best to get over it!
[00:10:50]  I died! Oh, where's your stuff now?
[00:10:53]  Kill the trees! Kill everything in the way of me and the fun stuff!
[00:10:55]  Poor trees! Alright, hang on.
[00:11:00]  Two iron chestplate.
[00:11:02]  Wait, why can't I put my iron chestplate on?
[00:11:06]  Oh, no! Don't!
[00:11:07]  Don't! Oh! I can never, ever go into the menu.
[00:11:11]  That is... Glitchiness?
[00:11:13]  No, it's not glitchy.
[00:11:14]  It's just... It's owie.
[00:11:16]  All right. I'm going somewhere else.
[00:11:18]  Somewhere. You least expect it.
[00:11:20]  Yeah, have fun. You're not allowed to look at my screen.
[00:11:21]  Have fun. I'm looking at your screen.
[00:11:23]  You're on top of your tree.
[00:11:25]  Wait. Oh, I'm sneaking through.
[00:11:27]  I'm like a bonobo here.
[00:11:29]  You're a bonobo. I'm like a bonobo.
[00:11:32]  Bonabo. Oh no!
[00:11:39]  Oh, did I knock you off?
[00:11:41]  Oh no, but I'm getting poisoned!
[00:11:43]  Oh, super better.
[00:11:45]  OK, hang on.
[00:11:46]  Run, run, run, run, run, run. Pause for a little bit of smoke.
[00:11:50]  Action. Alright, there we go.
[00:11:55]  I used an arrow of harming on you, I think.
[00:11:57]  Yeah, oh no, arrow of strength.
[00:11:59]  Oh god, I used you.
[00:12:00]  I gave you the wrong arrow!
[00:12:02]  I gave you an arrow of strength!
[00:12:04]  No! Dad, look at my health.
[00:12:07]  Look at my health, Dad. Hang on.
[00:12:10]  Just go into your menu system for a sec.
[00:12:11]  No, thank you. No, it would be very important for me.
[00:12:13]  No! Very, very important.
[00:12:16]  Wait, hang on. I feel like I need to die.
[00:12:26]  Did you die? No.
[00:12:28]  I sounded so happy to because I hope you do.
[00:12:32]  Only in Minecraft, not in real life.
[00:12:34]  I hope my lovely father survives.
[00:12:35]  Life is mortality. It's going to happen sooner or later, right?
[00:12:37]  Yeah, true. I believe you can fly!
[00:12:41]  I'm sure of it, too. Fell from a high place.
[00:12:43]  All right. Ooh. Stinky arrows.
[00:12:45]  They're font arrows. Is that right? You're a fart.
[00:12:47]  All right. Get off of my face!
[00:12:49]  Sorry. I can't believe how Mom gets stressed when we play together.
[00:12:54]  Alright. Oh!
[00:12:58]  Dad, you should really find out how to get a better sword.
[00:13:02]  What am I basically going with a dandelion here?
[00:13:04]  Yeah, basically. Alright.
[00:13:06]  No, a dandelion... Now, you programmed these switches, right?
[00:13:08]  What switches? Yeah, I did.
[00:13:10]  Oh, good for you. It's actually really easy.
[00:13:13]  Alright, hopefully there's poison there.
[00:13:16]  I died.
[00:13:18]  Oh, did I kill you? Yeah.
[00:13:20]  Okay, stone sword.
[00:13:21]  Is that good? Actually, that's a good name for a band.
[00:13:24]  Yeah. So far, so good.
[00:13:29]  Don't fly. Off you go.
[00:13:31]  Enjoy. I wish I killed you.
[00:13:34]  You wish you what? I hoped I killed you.
[00:13:36]  This is all about the peaceful parenting, right?
[00:13:38]  Absolutely. Get it all out of the game.
[00:13:42]  All right. Now, there's another...
[00:13:44]  Okay, can we just... Hang on.
[00:13:45]  Can you just... Okay, there we go. Ah!
[00:13:48]  Did it sound like I... I didn't actually say, can we have a truce, did I? No.
[00:13:52]  Because that would be cheating. All right.
[00:13:53]  Dad, what do you not do all the time?
[00:13:55]  No, he's sorry. What do I do? I am a bit of a cheat.
[00:13:57]  But it's obvious cheating.
[00:13:58]  Well, that's why he loves the game cheat.
[00:14:00]  The card game. The card game cheat is great.
[00:14:02]  And what do I do? What's my talent?
[00:14:04]  Dad, you're not allowed to go to other bases!
[00:14:06]  Are you kidding me? You told me to come to another base.
[00:14:10]  Oh, that rule seems to be...
[00:14:12]  Oh, look at that!
[00:14:13]  I can fly! Wait, what happened to mine?
[00:14:15]  What's the... What the...
[00:14:16]  Oh, die! Die, die, die! Oh, there it is.
[00:14:17]  Okay, hang on. I have to do this too!
[00:14:20]  I live! I live!
[00:14:21]  Is there any fuss? Wait, can I pick up a train here or a hovercraft?
[00:14:24]  Oh, actually, I should do that next round.
[00:14:26]  If I ever want to make one, I should have a train from each setting.

=== Check Your Chest (09:27) ===

[00:14:28]  What I want is the entire ground here.
[00:14:30]  Dad, start jumping. You go a lot faster if you jump.
[00:14:33]  No, not in real!
[00:14:35]  Sorry, sorry. Very lame.
[00:14:36]  Hey, don't click my ear. It's too vivid.
[00:14:38]  Dad just jumps! It's too vivid.
[00:14:39]  All right. Does it really go faster when you jump?
[00:14:42]  Yeah, you do. Just keep jumping.
[00:14:43]  Keep clicking that button.
[00:14:44]  You know, when I was young, about your age, I could run so fast, I got younger.
[00:14:47]  Yeah, true. Yeah, it's not true.
[00:14:50]  Otherwise, you'd be young. Oh, yeah.
[00:14:53]  That's a burn. All right.
[00:14:56]  Did you hear that burn?
[00:14:59]  Because burn. All right.
[00:15:00]  I'm going to throw stuff at you.
[00:15:02]  Did you go to...
[00:15:07]  Okay.
[00:15:07]  All right, I have...
[00:15:09]  Okay, quit making stuff around your base.
[00:15:11]  It's annoying. Oh, right.
[00:15:14]  Now, I'm a little stuck here, right?
[00:15:16]  I've got no arrows. Hi, hi, hi.
[00:15:18]  Can I throw my bow at you? No, I have no arrows, and I have...
[00:15:21]  Wait, hang on. Is there anything in here?
[00:15:23]  Oh, unfortunately, gosh, there really isn't anything in here.
[00:15:26]  How tragic. Maybe you ran out.
[00:15:31]  Dad! Yeah? You're in purple base, right?
[00:15:34]  Yeah. I don't know.
[00:15:36]  These physics are catastrophic.
[00:15:38]  What? What is wrong with the faces?
[00:15:41]  Dad, maybe you should have stopped, like, not building the entire wall around one side of your base.
[00:15:45]  Get off of purple base.
[00:15:46]  I really enjoy how I'm wasting my arrows trying to figure out the physics of this thing.
[00:15:54]  Ooh, did I get you? No.
[00:15:56]  Oh, come on. What base are you on?
[00:15:59]  Uh, you know me.
[00:16:01]  Because I'm all about this.
[00:16:02]  Dad, stop! Yeah, sorry.
[00:16:03]  You mean stop singing or just stop being confusing?
[00:16:05]  No! Just stop everything! Stop my heart?
[00:16:08]  Yeah, please. That would be helpful.
[00:16:10]  Oh, the viciousness.
[00:16:11]  You're viciousness-less.
[00:16:14]  Excellent. Excellent English skills.
[00:16:16]  Yeah. How did you get to that bass, Dad?
[00:16:18]  Oh, it's a mystery.
[00:16:20]  You built this whole thing. Shouldn't you know?
[00:16:22]  Shouldn't you know? Maybe I should.
[00:16:25]  But I don't. What?
[00:16:27]  Oh! Ketchup man!
[00:16:31]  Ketchup man! You're a ketchup man!
[00:16:34]  Did you die? Yeah. Oh.
[00:16:36]  I'll catch you. Sorry.
[00:16:40]  And this, is this fire?
[00:16:41]  What is it for? Oh, no, what is it for?
[00:16:43]  It's a campfire. I know it's a campfire.
[00:16:45]  Oh, really, Dad? You're going to catch me?
[00:16:47]  Did you say that?
[00:16:49]  I think I accidentally respawned.
[00:16:50]  All right. All right, hang on.
[00:16:56]  Check your chest. Still manly, still vaguely hairy, and extraordinarily well muscled.
[00:17:02]  Oh, yeah, sure. All right.
[00:17:04]  Dad, what? Stop going to your base.
[00:17:07]  You're not on your base. I know you're on...
[00:17:08]  So, wait. What you're saying is that in this game, I should go exactly where you know I'm going to go.
[00:17:13]  Dad, you... And that would be a very wise...
[00:17:15]  That is part of the rule.
[00:17:16]  Dad, please. Well, hey, wait.
[00:17:18]  How do I know which is my base? It's blue base.
[00:17:21]  It has the blue color.
[00:17:22]  Did you not see anything?
[00:17:23]  Izzy, there's lots of blue on this base.
[00:17:25]  Oh. Okay, I'll go to another base.
[00:17:33]  No, you're going to blue base right now.
[00:17:36]  Wait, I need to just have a quick look in here.
[00:17:39]  Ooh, eggs. Oh, we've got eggs and we've got...
[00:17:43]  Snowballs. No, we've got eggs and we've got a campfire.
[00:17:46]  What the... Hey, how come you got me in two hits?
[00:17:49]  Because I have a diamond sword and you have crappy armor.
[00:17:53]  So you gave me... No, stop Team Green!
[00:17:55]  Huh? Don't go to Team Green, Dad.
[00:17:57]  - Hey dad, you're team blue. - Sorry, I panicked.
[00:17:59]  All right, I need better shoes.
[00:18:04]  And let's do that.
[00:18:06]  I mean, I know I'm going to die now anyway, but I can't put on the pants.
[00:18:10]  Wait, isn't there a picture of my, like an outline of me where I put things on or something like that?
[00:18:14]  No. Yeah, there is, but too bad for you.
[00:18:16]  You're not finding it. Very helpful.
[00:18:22]  You did take off your helmet, though.
[00:18:25]  Well, I think I A, took off my helmet, and B, fell head down.
[00:18:29]  All right. Just so I get slightly less whining, I've decided to go to my own base, or a base of some kind.
[00:18:37]  Yeah, whatever that means. Oh, that was extraordinarily bad physics.
[00:18:42]  What was? Oh, just my...
[00:18:45]  Wow, you can take a lot of arrows.
[00:18:49]  You're like a pincushion. Yeah, because I have diamond armor on, which maybe you should start even thinking of getting our...
[00:18:56]  Okay, so I have a question.
[00:18:58]  Where's my diamond armor?
[00:18:59]  You didn't get it first, even though I gave you like two minutes on the mainland to try.
[00:19:04]  But you didn't even get close.
[00:19:06]  Don't worry. I found some leather boots that are dyed.
[00:19:08]  And they will help me. Dad, no, please stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
[00:19:11]  What? Right now, put the arrows back.
[00:19:12]  I have the whole base set up, although you are not.
[00:19:14]  I can't put them all back. Yeah, okay.
[00:19:16]  I'll just get some. No.
[00:19:18]  All right, here we go. It's a lot of work to reset all the bases.
[00:19:22]  Well, the important thing is it's not my work.
[00:19:26]  Do you like it when you have a lot of shows to put out?
[00:19:29]  I love my audience.
[00:19:30]  I love my shows. Yes, but you don't...
[00:19:32]  I have the best job in the world. Yes, you do.
[00:19:34]  But you still don't like it when you have two gazillion shows that you have to put out because you don't like all the glitchy.
[00:19:39]  Alright, so this game is becoming a little bit less fair at the moment, and I'm just wondering how we can make it more fair.
[00:19:45]  Maybe you should try and get some iron armor like I suggested.
[00:19:48]  And where's that? In the chests on the mainland.
[00:19:51]  Oh, sorry, I should say barrels.
[00:19:52]  And Dad, what the heck happened to your armor?
[00:19:54]  You don't have any. I have such skills, I feel armor is beneath me.
[00:19:58]  Well, then how come you just died three times in a row?
[00:20:01]  That is a fine question, and I wish I had a good answer for you, but I'm afraid I don't.
[00:20:05]  Dad, check your chest. Just check the chest.
[00:20:07]  I'm going to shoot you as I went down.
[00:20:10]  Check your chest. Check my chest?
[00:20:13]  Yes. And go to blue base.
[00:20:16]  Go to blue base. And I assume this is some sort of hideous trap.
[00:20:20]  Iron sword. Well, that's helpful, right?
[00:20:23]  But it's... No, don't.
[00:20:25]  What the? You were very close.
[00:20:27]  Hey! Really?
[00:20:30]  Really? Yeah!
[00:20:31]  That is the plan. Yeah! Now, I lost all my cool stuff there, didn't I? No, you didn't.
[00:20:36]  No? No. And Dad put the green armor back on green base.
[00:20:41]  Uh-huh. Oh, is it really color-coded?
[00:20:43]  Yes. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, do you not see how it is?
[00:20:45]  Let me get to green base first, all right?
[00:20:47]  It's this way, right? Attack!
[00:20:50]  Attack! Get your armor!
[00:20:51]  What? Get armor!
[00:20:54]  How about I get a compassionate child instead?
[00:20:56]  Would that be alright? That'd suck.
[00:20:58]  Yeah, fair enough. Alright.
[00:21:01]  Alright. Iron sword's better than stone sword.
[00:21:08]  Alright. You know, there's all these random blue blocks over there.
[00:21:11]  Dad, will you please start going to your own base?
[00:21:13]  Alright. There are all of these blue blocks everywhere.
[00:21:18]  I find it quite confusing. Maybe because you placed them!
[00:21:20]  That is true. That is very true.
[00:21:22]  Alright. Are you going to give me 13 seconds?
[00:21:24]  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, yeah maybe because you took too much.
[00:21:30]  7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14.
[00:21:38]  So basically you take no damage because you're wrapped in diamonds, right?
[00:21:40]  You're wrapped in diamonds. I'm actually not, otherwise the game might be slightly more fair.
[00:21:45]  Oh, this was good. I'm getting one pixel over.
[00:21:52]  What did you throw at me? Are you throwing snowballs at me?
[00:21:55]  No, I'm throwing arrows at you, Dad.
[00:21:56]  Snowballs don't do any damage.
[00:22:00]  Alright. Uh-oh.
[00:22:03]  Alright, time to hide. Oh, either I'm gassy or you did something nasty to me.
[00:22:11]  Oh, is it really?
[00:22:13]  So basically, it's just like me playing normally.
[00:22:16]  Oh! True.
[00:22:18]  Oh, that's painful.
[00:22:19]  I mean, it's not physically painful, of course, because it's only a video game, but emotionally, I have like decades of experience with you on video games, and I'm still getting eaten alive.
[00:22:28]  No, have an egg! Good lord.
[00:22:35]  Okay, so you need to tell me where to get this armor from.
[00:22:37]  The barrel's on the mainland!
[00:22:39]  And don't click my base!
[00:22:41]  Don't what? Dad, you have to click blue!
[00:22:47]  I'm too busy getting pointless to kill because I don't have any armor.
[00:22:51]  And I lost my way out of it. Keep on!
[00:22:55]  Alright, I'm going to the place with the blue blocks.
[00:22:59]  Isn't that literally every island right now?
[00:23:01]  I believe the blue blocks have been mysteriously multiplying.
[00:23:05]  See, I got no. Don't shoot me.
[00:23:09]  Sorry, did you hear the first part of that sentence?
[00:23:10]  No, I didn't shoot you. I hit you with a sword.
[00:23:14]  Yeah. Distinction without a difference.
[00:23:17]  Dad, just go check out your chest.
[00:23:19]  Oh my god, I'm helping you!
[00:23:21]  You're what? I'm helping you.
[00:23:22]  You actually seem to be keeping killing me.
[00:23:24]  Maybe that's because you initiated it!
[00:23:26]  You were never allowed to be a doctor.
[00:23:28]  Yeah, being a doctor would be fun!
[00:23:31]  Oh, that's excellent. Alright, I think you just lost all your patience ahead of time.
[00:23:34]  Alright, so there's no armor here.
[00:23:36]  Is there another... Dad, okay, listen.
[00:23:38]  I took all the good armor.
[00:23:39]  Stop, stop, stop right now.
[00:23:41]  Go to your base, go to base blue, or I'm shooting you with an arrow.
[00:23:45]  Get! Well, you can shoot me with an arrow either way, right?
[00:23:47]  Okay, so blue base. No, not that one!
[00:23:49]  Dad, Dad! Where, where?
[00:23:51]  That one right there. Right there.
[00:23:53]  No, not there! Come back, come back!
[00:23:54]  Alright, I'm coming back. Right here.

=== Pointy End, Pointless Kill (08:06) ===

[00:23:56]  Follow me. Yes, because I had to build it because...
[00:24:01]  Oh, so it's fine for you to color your blocks.
[00:24:04]  Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, hey, look, I found some leggings.
[00:24:08]  Maybe that's because I helped you!
[00:24:09]  You did help me. Thank you.
[00:24:11]  I appreciate that. All right. I think we'll get rid of the eggs because I don't feel that they're essential.
[00:24:14]  No, just throw them at them.
[00:24:16]  Throw them at you. All right, hang on.
[00:24:17]  I've got to figure out... Oh, I figured I had to put these on.
[00:24:20]  I figured I had to put these on. I figured I had to put these on.
[00:24:23]  Get your helmet on!
[00:24:24]  Dad, boots are useless. Dad, get...
[00:24:27]  Oh my gosh. Okay, I'm going to have to do so much work to reset this whole thing.
[00:24:30]  What do you mean, reset? I have to get the whole thing set up.
[00:24:33]  Oh, it doesn't save it and then you just go back to the...
[00:24:35]  No, I have to change the whole thing.
[00:24:37]  Really? Yeah, you got...
[00:24:39]  That seems like a lot of work. I want to keep the bases set up so that we can do both different bases.
[00:24:43]  Did you fall? Yes. Wait, did I get a kill?
[00:24:45]  That's 4,000 for me. We put your camera on the other side so that you can read the stuff that's said there.
[00:24:50]  Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.
[00:24:51]  Okay. I wish I had a more evil skin because right now I'm really feeling like it.
[00:25:01]  Wait, now hang on. Did you keep your...
[00:25:03]  Yeah, everybody keeps their stuff.
[00:25:05]  Oh, is that right? I put keep inventory on.
[00:25:08]  Alright, so I'm running away, and I can't be dealt with.
[00:25:12]  Yes, you can. But now you have all of this crazy stuff.
[00:25:15]  Ah, it missed me!
[00:25:16]  You're so hot! It's the end!
[00:25:20]  Alright, now you know what?
[00:25:21]  Actually, it's quite peaceful here.
[00:25:23]  You know, like right here, with the slowly- Would you like me to join you down there?
[00:25:27]  Um, you gonna jump down?
[00:25:29]  Oh, I can, and I can live too.
[00:25:31]  Do you have that cape thing?
[00:25:33]  What cape thing? No, I don't have turtle flying thing, whatever it's called.
[00:25:38]  Feather falling. Oh, yeah.
[00:25:40]  By the way, you shot me with the strength arrow.
[00:25:42]  I did that just to confuse everybody.
[00:25:44]  A strength arrow?
[00:25:46]  Yeah. I did the red arrows.
[00:25:47]  They look like arrows of harmony, but I actually put them as arrows of strength.
[00:25:50]  Oh, we're both falling to our...
[00:25:51]  I lived!
[00:25:53]  I lived! Oh, that seems fair.
[00:25:55]  All right. Well, where are you here?
[00:25:57]  You've got to be around here somewhere. No, wait, wait, wait for me!
[00:25:59]  You've got to be around here somewhere.
[00:26:00]  Not that! Like that! Hide and go seek of doom.
[00:26:03]  You're a hide and go seeker, Angela.
[00:26:06]  Kill the cat! No! Don't kill the cat!
[00:26:08]  I'm not going to kill the cat, boo.
[00:26:10]  What kind of monster do you think I'm not?
[00:26:11]  Alright. Here you are!
[00:26:15]  Friendy! I come to jump and hug and hug and ahhh!
[00:26:19]  And ahhh! From above!
[00:26:20]  Death from above! Wait.
[00:26:23]  You're the wrong way.
[00:26:24]  Oh, I'm going to spit. Respawn.
[00:26:27]  Respawn. You're going to have to run out of health at some point.
[00:26:30]  I don't care if it takes a hundred years.
[00:26:33]  Am I going to? Wait.
[00:26:35]  No, I'm going to quit! Run!
[00:26:38]  Run! What are you running to?
[00:26:41]  There's nothing out there!
[00:26:42]  Turn and fight! I'm scared!
[00:26:44]  Turn and fight like an 8 pixel monster that you are.
[00:26:48]  I'm jumping low! I died.
[00:26:52]  Oh, armor, armor, armor!
[00:26:54]  Is it underground? I'm going to dig until I find this armor.
[00:26:58]  I'm fine. Okay, I'm not going to do that.
[00:26:59]  No, wait, running away, running away.
[00:27:01]  Extreme runningness. You can't run, dig any farther, Dad.
[00:27:05]  And is there anything down there?
[00:27:07]  It's called bedrock. Yeah, I'll go into creative and break it so you can jump through.
[00:27:11]  No, that's fine. Please. Alright, I've gone elsewhere.
[00:27:15]  You cannot come to my base.
[00:27:16]  That is forbidden. Why not?
[00:27:18]  According to the rules of the queen of the...
[00:27:19]  something. Alright, I'm hiding here.
[00:27:24]  No one can see me. Death, you giant lump of iron.
[00:27:30]  Oh, sorry. I'm just going to...
[00:27:31]  No! Didn't we both die?
[00:27:34]  I like how we kind of shut down there together.
[00:27:37]  That was fun. Alright.
[00:27:41]  We've got no subtlety anymore.
[00:27:43]  Now it's just pixel slash for no purpose.
[00:27:47]  Alright, that's it.
[00:27:49]  Snowball time. Are you kidding me?
[00:27:56]  Yeah. Does it do anything?
[00:27:58]  No, it's supposed to hit you off platforms.
[00:28:02]  Really? Oh, I should have been using that all this time.
[00:28:04]  I know! I just have to stay away from your pointy end.
[00:28:08]  It's like dealing with a viper.
[00:28:11]  Okay, now it's about running away.
[00:28:17]  Pointy end. Point the other end.
[00:28:19]  Point the pointy end the other way.
[00:28:20]  All right. You know, I've got to tell you, you know what I would have to say about your character?
[00:28:26]  Is the posture is, you know, very leaned over, which is, you know, kind of catastrophic.
[00:28:33]  Oh, wait. Hang on, hang on.
[00:28:35]  I'm farting! I'm protected.
[00:28:41]  Did you really fall for that?
[00:28:43]  No. Oh, I can smell it from here.
[00:28:46]  No, I'm just kidding. All right. Can I throw blocks at you?
[00:28:49]  Yeah. All right.
[00:28:53]  A good pointy end is away, and I'm sure it's going to stay that way.
[00:28:55]  Are you looking at my screen? I can't look at your screen.
[00:28:57]  It's too far away. All right.
[00:29:01]  Did I win?
[00:29:03]  Did I win? No. Wait, can I dance in your grave?
[00:29:05]  Okay, here we go. You're kind.
[00:29:07]  All right, let's do one more death, one more kill.
[00:29:08]  What do you think? Fine. The blocks where everything went perfectly.
[00:29:13]  Oh, did you just go in? I think I saw the door open.
[00:29:15]  No, I didn't actually. By the way, this may not be the best going to sleep podcast that I've ever done with the random screaming.
[00:29:25]  The high-pitched screaming, some of which comes from my daughter.
[00:29:28]  All right, I'm doing a weave.
[00:29:29]  I'm weaving. You can't hit me.
[00:29:31]  I'm bobbing and weaving. Oh, look at that.
[00:29:33]  Oh, missed, missed, missed, missed.
[00:29:36]  Pointy at...
[00:29:37]  Ow!
[00:29:37]  Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
[00:29:39]  Oh, crap, I just gave you a...
[00:29:40]  Oh, yes. No, perfect. It's all in there.
[00:29:43]  Wait. Oh, that's it.
[00:29:44]  Cat's going to get it. Wait, that's it.
[00:29:54]  Come here. Come here.
[00:29:55]  Oh, did you warp?
[00:29:57]  Yeah. Oh, quick question.
[00:29:58]  Which one did you go to? I think I did.
[00:30:01]  There we go! Oh, I believe you should fly.
[00:30:07]  That's very... Oh, did you survive?
[00:30:09]  Yeah. Oh, that's no good.
[00:30:11]  That's bad. I think I made the armor too strong.
[00:30:15]  You know, I got to tell you, I don't think diamond armor would be easy to shape or live with.
[00:30:19]  Yeah, I don't either. Dad, jump off.
[00:30:21]  We might spawn together. No, I'm going to go and get all of the weapons, right?
[00:30:25]  I need some arrows and stuff. Eggs?
[00:30:28]  What is that? Potatoes? No!
[00:30:30]  Okay, there's nothing here. Nothing here!
[00:30:32]  All right.
[00:30:34]  One more kill. One more kill.
[00:30:36]  You said that like five kills ago.
[00:30:38]  All right. I mean, one more...
[00:30:41]  No, one more core element of homeschooling.
[00:30:43]  All right, here we go. What? What's homeschooling, Nikki?
[00:30:46]  Are you kidding? All right.
[00:30:49]  Now, what happens if you get it with the arrow of flowness?
[00:30:55]  All right. Oh, okay.
[00:31:03]  Did you fall? You died? No, I didn't.
[00:31:04]  I lived! What? How is this fall?
[00:31:10]  I lied. I didn't live at all.
[00:31:13]  You what? I didn't live at all.
[00:31:15]  Oh, did you lie to your father?
[00:31:17]  Yes, I did. Why wouldn't I? Oh, oh, oh, that's it.
[00:31:20]  Punishment for lying.
[00:31:21]  You fell from a high place.
[00:31:23]  All right, all right, so let's stop.
[00:31:24]  So that's cool. So do you want to tell anyone...
[00:31:27]  Do you want to tell anyone...
[00:31:29]  I'm tickling his belly.
[00:31:31]  It's tough to find. Now, did...
[00:31:36]  Hang on, hang on. Is there anything you wanted to tell people about what we've been doing and how to do it?
[00:31:52]  No. I can actually show you the command block, I think.
[00:31:57]  Well, it'll be on this screen.
[00:31:59]  Should I come down? Uh, yeah, sure.
[00:32:01]  But there's only one way to do it. Oh, I can't do it.

=== Hold Up the Camera (01:38) ===

[00:32:02]  I have to go to creative to actually show it.
[00:32:04]  Okay, never mind, never mind. No, no, no! Come, come, come!
[00:32:05]  Just die! I believe I can fly!
[00:32:10]  Okay, respawn. That was not my singing voice.
[00:32:12]  Seriously. No, she's got a good singing voice.
[00:32:14]  No, I don't. I suck at singing.
[00:32:15]  Alright, here we go. No, don't kill me!
[00:32:17]  Anyways, you can't, Dad. Keep shaking.
[00:32:20]  Hit me, hit me, hit me, Dad.
[00:32:21]  Hit me. What?
[00:32:25]  I'm a creative. Oh, yeah.
[00:32:28]  It's basically the same as before when you had your armor.
[00:32:30]  So, look. Okay, you want me to hold this up?
[00:32:32]  Can I show the camera? Yeah. Okay, so we can hold this up to the camera.
[00:32:35]  And do you want to explain to people what it is you've been doing?
[00:32:37]  Okay, do you want... Basically, just click slash teleport.
[00:32:41]  That top one? Whatever coordinates you want.
[00:32:43]  Oh, so they do coordinates. And then also, like, it says the stuff there, so.
[00:32:46]  All right. I mean, I had to search it up a bit, but I generally got the idea, so.
[00:32:50]  Because you used to do the stuff with Redstone, too, right?
[00:32:52]  Redstone is disgusting, maybe.
[00:32:54]  All right. Good to know. Well, thanks, everyone.
[00:32:56]  Yeah, that was fun. I hope that you had fun.
[00:32:57]  Subscribe! I hope that you had fun.
[00:32:58]  Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're right. Wait, wait, wait.
[00:33:00]  I'm going to give everybody your dance.
[00:33:01]  Yeah, you do it. You do it. I blew up the mic.
[00:33:06]  Alright, you're not being bombed.
[00:33:08]  It's just... Hey, hey, hey!
[00:33:12]  Alright, so...
[00:33:13]  Like...
[00:33:15]  Do the outro. No!
[00:33:16]  Okay, like, subscribe... Outro this!
[00:33:18]  Alright, guys, just do good stuff with the channel.
[00:33:20]  Okay, like, subscribe, and share.
[00:33:22]  And thanks, everyone. Check out our second channel.
[00:33:25]  What's it called? Oh, we're still working on that.
[00:33:28]  We're still working on that. Oh, yeah. Okay, sorry.
[00:33:29]  We have not published it yet.
[00:33:30]  No problem. No problem. But yeah, we'll do more gaming stuff.
[00:33:32]  I thought we published it.
[00:33:33]  Sorry, I forgot. All right. No, no. Fine.
[00:33:35]  We'll let people know when it's out.
[00:33:36]  Okay. Freedomain.com.
[00:33:38]  You can help out the show. Donate.
[00:33:40]  But I hope you guys had fun.