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July 13, 2019 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

01:37:28

Your Job Is To Get Married And Have Children

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	I was wondering if you have any advice for the millennials who have been screwed by excessive student loan debt and a tough job market.
	I accept full responsibility for the fact that I went to college at 18, on a full academic scholarship, and chose basket weaving majors that I found interesting, history and film, which amounted to nothing for me.
	I tried teaching, and had to go through another crushing debt cycle to do that, only to find out that I would rather dig ditches than be a high school teacher.
	For those of us feeling left out of the economy of good jobs, do you have any advice on how to get out of a crappy cycle of entry-level job hell, feelings of failure, and find something both profitable and meaningful?
	That is from Lindsey.
	Hello, Lindsey.
	How are you doing tonight?
	Hi, Stefan.
	I'm doing great.
	Thanks for taking my call tonight.
	My pleasure.
	I'm calling down the well of debt.
	I remember it.
	I remember it.
	Yeah.
	I had to, uh, I had to get into some debt from my masters.
	Just, just ran out of cash.
	And, uh, yeah, it's a, it's a crab and a half.
	History in film.
	Yeah.
	Honestly, it's so much debt that I really have blocked it out of my mind and I don't think about it because it'll never be paid off even if I'm like 80 years old.
	So why think about it?
	Anyways.
	Um, but yeah, I, You know, I had really idealistic expectations at 18.
	You know, I chose history for a pre-law thing.
	And yeah, I shouted some lawyers and I thought, wow, I really don't want to do this.
	Oh, come on.
	20 hour days for years, sleeping in the office, stinking up your shirt.
	Endless paperwork, bleary eyes, artificial light for the next 20 years.
	Come on!
	Yeah, depressing cases, criminals, divorces.
	It just wasn't my thing.
	So yeah.
	And film I was really more into and I guess that kind of leads more into my question too in terms of like Jobs that people actually enjoy.
	So I was interested in film and I did some internships like a TV show and, you know, other, I ended up working for a website for a little while.
	And, you know, it was kind of like a crappy experience.
	And then after that, I didn't want to go to be becoming like a McDonald's fry cook.
	So I went to school to be a teacher, which was a big mistake.
	So.
	Um, yeah, which is why I called in today because, you know, a lot of, a lot of these career choices and things that, you know, it's like, try one thing.
	Okay, that didn't work.
	Try another thing that didn't work.
	And it's, it's just getting to be like an endless cycle.
	And now I'm currently studying computers and night classes and, You know, it's like throw it at the wall and see what sticks.
	Boy, that sucks.
	How's your dating life?
	Well, I actually wrote some notes and I was going to talk about like feminism and how... Sorry, you actually did... I didn't... I missed that.
	Well, I was going to bring that up a little bit.
	I mean, I do have maybe one potential, but yeah, I'm 28 and You know, I... Hello?
	Yeah, go ahead.
	Okay.
	I had thought, you know, oh, going to college, that's a great way to meet people, blah, blah, blah.
	It really wasn't because, you know, if you meet people who suck, then... Anyways, you get what I mean.
	Wait, are you saying that you didn't find a lot of good alpha male providers in the film and history department?
	I did not.
	Yeah.
	So it was, um, you know, it was an, you know, college and experience that you have very high expectations for.
	And, you know, as a female, you know, cutting through the bull crap, you do just want to go there to meet a guy and get married.
	So I'm not even gonna BS about that.
	And I think 99% of people would agree with that who are female wouldn't maybe admit it, but it's true.
	That you want to get married?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, I mean, I don't see how the working thing is working out.
	It's not.
	All it's done is lowered your sexual market value, right?
	Because some guy is going to be like, wow, you're wonderful.
	Tell me a little about yourself.
	And it's like, here, let me bring out volume one of my debt obligations.
	And he's like, I'll be right back.
	And then he's going to see if he can fit himself out through the bathroom window, right?
	Exactly, exactly.
	The whole, I didn't want to come across as sounding like a lazy woman, but you know, there are... No, you've been working very hard!
	Yeah, and I'm currently working at a job which is really, really, I guess you could say dreadfully uninteresting.
	And it's just, you know, you're always told if you study hard and you work hard, Go to college.
	Don't be a screw-up.
	You'll be rewarded with a great job, which I'm finding out is really not the case.
	And I know that life isn't fair.
	I know that not everybody has, like, sunshine and lollipops, but... But what happened with being a teacher?
	What was that like?
	I've never been a prison guard, but I feel like it was really similar.
	So... Oh, come on.
	I mean, are you trying to tell me that working for a government bureaucracy trying to wrangle the children of single mothers isn't fun for you?
	It was so awful that that's something I've even repressed and it wasn't even that long ago.
	And the fact that I even managed for... I taught for A half a school year.
	You know, it was like a one semester, a two semester year.
	So I taught half, the first half of the year and the full course.
	And I just had to leave.
	And if you ever feel like Google, Googling teaching sucks, you'll find a lot of dread forums on how... Were you in a multicultural environment?
	You could say I was in a multicultural, low socioeconomic It was a very big mix of students.
	And, you know, when I was a student, my whole logical progression was, wow, I love learning.
	I loved being a student.
	I did every homework assignment anyone ever gave me.
	I'll probably be a great teacher.
	You apple polisher.
	You girls made it so hard for us boys.
	Oh, here's your apple nicely polished, teacher.
	I did some extra assignments and all the surly boys are in the back like, oh, great.
	Anyway, go on.
	Yeah.
	And then I came to find out later on getting A's doesn't mean you're smart.
	And those surly boys probably all became like electrical engineers and they got C's and D's.
	Or podcasters.
	Yeah.
	So, you know, it's just finding out a lot of things in life after the fact.
	Yeah, teaching was, you know, to put it nicely, it was just horribly suited to someone with a more introverted personality.
	Being in a room with 30 high school kids who are like 16, basically, a lot of them attacking you all at once, not physically, but, you know, arguments, confrontations all day long.
	Oh yeah, no, we used to be scared of our teachers, and that's the way that order was restored, but that's all gone by the wayside now, right?
	Yeah, and you know, people always ask me like, oh, you know, you quit teaching after four months, you know, what's the problem?
	And I want to say, you know, maybe I would have liked it if it was 1950 and I was teaching, but I just couldn't, I just had no desire to handle like that uphill battle of What it was like in the classroom every single day.
	And not only that, you know, you have to give up your whole life on the side doing lesson plans and all that stuff in your free time.
	And I really thought, wow, if I'm working 80 hours a week and getting paid for 40, I'm never going to get married.
	So I need to get out of this quick, you know?
	Were there no eligible guys in the teaching profession?
	I'm saying this with a straight face, although I don't necessarily feel that way inside.
	A lot of married people, a lot of older people, you know, and this is even another thing I could bring up, my age group, my demographic of guys is pretty terrible in this day and age.
	Why?
	You know, you just have a lot of Well, starting with the sexual revolution, guys are able to get things for free that they used to have to work very hard for and when that's what they expect.
	And my basic opinion is that it's worse for women nowadays because of the sexual revolution and it's If men are not getting what they want or, you know, they're basically overgrown boys, they'll just move on to someone else.
	They don't have that much of a desire for commitment to marriage.
	They're more like flaky goofballs who don't know much about anything.
	Or, you know, they could even be worse.
	They could be like, Like, social justice warriors are unattractive trendies.
	They could be basement dwelling video game guys.
	There's just so many, like, different scenarios of things that are unattractive.
	And there are a lot of reasons for that, too.
	And I'm not attacking, like, all men.
	I'm just saying that In the particular age group of the twenties, there's some pretty bad options out there and all the good ones are taken.
	And you know, I mean, of course, not all men, blah, blah, blah, but you've been, I don't want to say you've been around, but you've been in a variety of environments around men.
	And this is what you're seeing, right?
	Yeah.
	I mean, even if you see like a good one, they're usually taken.
	And if you see one that's not taken, there's usually a reason why.
	So, and I've listened to a lot of your other podcasts before and you've spoken about that, which, you know, prompted me to want to call you.
	Right.
	Right.
	No, I think it has become very tragic for women.
	Um, you know, turning women into men has just turned men into boys.
	It has.
	And that's, um, it's a huge tragedy.
	And, uh, Yeah, odds are you'd be happier if you were debt-free running a household of energetic kids, right?
	I think so.
	I mean, if I'm... Most women are.
	A household, sorry, a homemaker, a mother, is the happiest occupation for women.
	Doesn't mean all women, right?
	But in general, it's in the mid to high 80s percentage of women who are households who are happy and satisfied with their lives, who are household managers, who are parents, who are running kids and all that.
	And it goes downward from there.
	Yeah, and I have some reservations about that.
	I had another question that I wanted to tack on to it.
	I mean, maybe I'll just bring it up because you brought up like being a homemaker.
	You know, the concept of having kids in this day and age, technically we do have a choice.
	You know, I study a lot.
	I, you know, I listen to your podcast.
	I listen to a lot of news and everything.
	And what is your opinion of the, the, there's this line of thinking, the world is a horrible place.
	Therefore, you know, why even have children?
	Like, because I'm... You like being alive, don't you?
	It's a lot of work.
	I know it's a lot of work.
	I get that.
	I'm 50.
	Trust me, the work gets worse.
	But you like being alive?
	I mean, I didn't know anything else, so I guess... Well, you're here, aren't you?
	Yeah.
	And you have the kind of wisdom that could help your children make much better decisions, right?
	So their lives will be easier and better in many ways because they have access to your wisdom.
	Which you've gotten through life experience, through this show, through other things, right?
	So, you know, you get a gift from the universe called life.
	You know, gifts are supposed to be reciprocal.
	I mean, how many times, how many people do you have in your life where you go out and buy them a big expensive birthday present and they don't even call you on your birthday?
	It's kind of being a dick, right?
	You know, gifts are supposed to be reciprocal.
	The universe or your parents gave you this giant gift called life.
	Pay it forward a little.
	Go make some life.
	You like being alive.
	It's a great gift.
	You have the power to give it.
	The universe gave it to you.
	Give it back.
	That's a good way of looking at it.
	I just, you know, sometimes I think, I don't like working in a cubicle.
	I don't think my kids are going to like working in a cubicle.
	Why would your kids have to work in a cubicle?
	You have fewer choices because of debt.
	You will help them avoid that debt.
	And I'm sorry for all the propaganda you got about college.
	I got it too.
	And it can be a great place to tread water and think you're getting on with your life, right?
	That's exactly what it is.
	It's like a four-year sleepover.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, not too much work.
	It's really not that challenging.
	You know, you get to have a lot of fun.
	And the thing is too, I thought I was working hard.
	I was doing all my assignments, reading my brains out, you know, of course, reading my brains out about a lot of social justice things, which are of absolutely no value.
	Um, but it, it, it's just, I think a little bit cruel, the whole system, you know, put these kids in, sign them up for these massive debts and teach them something that's basically Designed to lobotomize them.
	I think that people come out of the arts these days worse than when they went in.
	Yeah, and I did maintain my political views the entire time, but you know I got more than my fair share of all that brainwashing, all those attempts.
	I just deflected it, but at the same time I still had money.
	I had to pay money to sit there and listen to it.
	Yeah.
	And of course the current colleges are cashing in on the reputation that colleges had in the past.
	Yeah, in the past, if you got into college, even into an arts degree, and you did fairly well, You did pretty well afterwards because college used to be this big giant IQ test.
	But now, I mean, they're just stuffing everyone and their dog into college, you know?
	Can you breathe?
	Can you sign this?
	Okay, an X will do.
	Off you go!
	Right?
	And the standards are cratering and the achievements are cratering.
	And now I wonder if employers don't look at an arts degree as a negative rather than a positive.
	I don't know.
	I mean, I'm trying to think, sort of, it's been a while since I've hired people, but I would wonder.
	I was in the computer field, so it was a little bit different, but it used to be that college meant something, just as it used to be that high school meant something.
	But now high school means nothing, and college is in the process of meaning nothing.
	But at least you didn't go into debt for high school, right?
	No.
	Thankfully.
	And, you know, I was Given a full academic scholarship, which when you still have to pay for dorms, it ends up still racking up tons and tons of debt.
	And I was, I was a genius and I figured, Oh, I'll just add a second major because I got all this other stuff for free.
	And yeah, look how that turned out.
	Um, but it's just one of those things that when, I guess my question is kind of revolving around whenever.
	They are forcing so many women to go through this cycle.
	Wait, forcing?
	Well, not forcing, but you're basically... Yeah, let's be precise.
	You're basically told, as I felt when I was 18, you're a loser if you don't go to college.
	What are you going to do?
	Become like a welder?
	You know, if you're a female?
	No, you're not going to do that.
	So it's...
	I guess I'm trying to ask my question in the sense of how this is affecting women in terms of number one, not being able to even have time or energy to get married or date or all of those things.
	And then at the same time, the other side of the question is finding a career you're even interested in.
	Oh God, why a career?
	What's wrong with getting married and joining the enormous number of very happy women who run households and raise children?
	That's a big deal!
	Raising children is more complicated, more challenging, more intellectually demanding and stimulating than just about any job you're ever going to get in a cubicle.
	That's where the smart women go, in my humble opinion.
	Well, and that's the thing.
	I do want to do that.
	In the meantime, you know, as kind of like the fallout of feminism, I have to go to work.
	I have to pay taxes.
	I have to, you know, you got to pay your debt.
	Yeah.
	Be a productive member of society.
	I can't just sit around and watch TV all day.
	Um, and there's no guys really anywhere.
	So what else am I supposed to do with my time other than work, you know?
	Um, but it's just, is it, uh, is it more than 50 K?
	No, it's not.
	Okay.
	Is it more than 25?
	Yeah, before taxes.
	Right.
	Do you have a payment schedule that you can live with?
	I do.
	I mean, that's the one advantage of, you know, Part of the tax system is like when you don't make a lot, you don't have to pay a lot, but I'll be like 350 years old before it's paid off.
	So I just can't even think about it really.
	Well, do you, do you, I know you want my advice, but I'm going to just ask rhetorically once more to double check.
	Do you want my advice?
	Of course I do.
	I can take it.
	Then make it your job to get married.
	I mean... If you want to have children, make it your job to get married.
	Because listen, 28, Lindsay, you've got to stop planning right now.
	Job one.
	Seriously.
	Your fertility is already in decline.
	It's not for lack of trying.
	It's just... No, I don't care.
	I don't care about you.
	Don't give me this try thing.
	You gotta try different, you gotta try harder, you gotta try new things, I don't care.
	But you go and you find where the men are.
	You know who wants to settle down?
	Christian men.
	You know who wants to settle down?
	Conservative men.
	Even if you, you know, hey, me and Christianity, a lot more friendly than we used to be.
	But there are, hang on, there are demographics that You can find men who want to get married, who want to settle down, right?
	And you can pursue that.
	There are places where you can go where you know more men who want to settle down are going to be.
	You also know that there are men who may have a lower sexual market value in terms of physical attractiveness, who may be fantastic providers and husbands and fathers for your children, right?
	What's your number one to ten for physical attraction, physical attractiveness?
	Everyone's got a number, so don't play coy.
	I could, I could accept maybe, like, a seven.
	Oh, you mean my number?
	Perfectly respectable.
	You mean, like, including my own self?
	Yes.
	I'm probably, like, a seven or an eight.
	Okay.
	If I was a little skinnier, a nine.
	I don't know.
	That's arrogant.
	I won't say that.
	No, no, not arrogant.
	No, we all need to know this number.
	No, we do.
	We do because it's important.
	It matters, right?
	It doesn't mean it's our only choice.
	It's certainly not the only thing that defines you.
	I fully understand that, right?
	But, okay, so if you're a solid eight or nine, nine potential with skinny legs, I don't know.
	I like a little bit more meat on the bones, but everyone has their preferences.
	So you can attract men, right?
	Physically.
	Yes.
	Okay.
	So are your parents still together?
	Yes.
	What did they think about you going to college and taking film and art?
	Well, my dad had a very good bit of advice and he said, you can't be a history.
	He said to major in something that you can actually do like accounting or nursing.
	Um, engineering, one of those that is actually leading to a thing.
	Yeah.
	And I was like, well, don't worry about it.
	I'm going to go to law school.
	It'll be great.
	Um, 18 and my infinite wisdom with my not fully.
	Yeah.
	You got to do something before law.
	You can't just go straight into law, right?
	You go straight to law school from undergrad.
	So.
	That was my thing.
	Yeah.
	So, so you had a plan.
	I mean, you can be a lawyer, right?
	I mean, that's a thing.
	Yeah.
	So you had a plan, but then you didn't want to be a lawyer.
	Yeah.
	I started to realize, you know, in terms of happiness, how, how much do I want to hate my life versus how much, how successful do I want to be?
	You know?
	But why, why not look for a man?
	And I know you say, well, they're hard to find, hard to find.
	Come on.
	There can't be none.
	There's not none, but... Oh, good.
	Yeah.
	Oh, good.
	So there are not none.
	Yeah.
	Especially, you know, I'm taking these computer classes and I'm the only female.
	Yeah.
	A bit of a sausage and keyboard fest, isn't it?
	That's exactly what it is.
	Yeah.
	But I guess it's good to be the only female.
	I don't know.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	So you're into computer science.
	Right?
	So dudes are plenty, right?
	So you're a solid seven or eight in computer science.
	But there are no men around, you say?
	There is one.
	There is one who has started to show interest.
	Well, for God's sake, bring him down!
	Chew his neck!
	Be a tigress!
	Bring him down!
	Bring him home!
	Take him out, headshot!
	It may in fact be a headshot, but bring him down, woman!
	Don't be coy, don't be delicate.
	Go and chew his jugular until he faints into your marital bed.
	I was going to bring that up when you said Christian and conservative men.
	So this is kind of, maybe I should have said this before, this is like a big monkey wrench in the system, that I'm Christian and they have a lower percentage in the population.
	Good!
	Change that by having nine children!
	If I get started tomorrow, okay.
	But yeah, they're harder to find I've looked under a lot of rocks.
	No, no.
	You've got one.
	Well, I don't think he's... This is like a sniper game.
	You're just aiming at a finger, right?
	Yeah.
	I don't think he's... You've got one.
	You're zoomed in.
	Fingers on the trigger.
	Bring him down.
	And you know how you do it, Lindsay?
	Can I tell you?
	I don't know.
	Talk about C++.
	Yes.
	That's part of it.
	No.
	Be so incredibly great.
	That he has no choice.
	The thing about... This doesn't mean be false or be fake or you know, whatever, right?
	I mean, but just be great.
	Listen, I'm loving the chat.
	You're a great person, right?
	Oh, well, thank you.
	So be, be great.
	And tell him what you want.
	Yeah, just really direct.
	I'm ovulating!
	No, I'm just kidding.
	I'm just kidding.
	Yeah, he couldn't miss that one.
	I'm doing the egg rolly dance.
	Habooga!
	Habooga!
	It's like a bag with bowling balls.
	They're getting heavier.
	But no, tell him what you want.
	I say this because I was brought down by a wonderful woman who told me what she wanted.
	You know, we really don't have a lot of will in these areas.
	Big secret.
	We can build the Golden Gate Bridge, but if a woman wants us, she pretty much gets us.
	Well, that's good to know.
	We are basically, you ever seen the original Jurassic Park?
	Of course.
	All right.
	In the original Jurassic Park, for those who don't know, this is not a spoiler.
	There's a, that's a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
	Okay.
	It's in the, it's in the poster and they try to, Feed the Tyrannosaurus Rex by tying a goat to a stick.
	Okay.
	Now, in this analogy, Lindsay, the boy is the goat tied to a stick and you, my dear, are the T-Rex.
	Go and eat him.
	If you want him and you are clear and you are explicit, I don't mean sexually and nothing to do with that.
	I'm not talking about go jump his bones.
	This is not what I'm talking about.
	Don't daze him with sexuality because That's like grabbing a bar of soap too hard.
	It goes.
	Although all of this could occur in the shower.
	But anyway, what I'm talking about is go be explicit about what you want.
	Go be decisive.
	Men propose, women dispose.
	Do you go and tell him what you want?
	The thing is, I think he might not be Christian.
	So that... Be so great.
	Be so great.
	He'll come to church.
	You know, he hasn't run away screaming, so I think there's a chance.
	Or maybe he's got something to offer you, right?
	I don't know.
	But whatever it is, if he's the guy, don't let him slip away!
	Yeah, I mean, it's so... Don't wait!
	It's hard to know, like, who is right and who's just mostly... For God's sakes, woman!
	Stop dithering.
	You're 15 years past fertility.
	Seriously, in the Middle Ages, you'd be a grandmother by now.
	I guess I would have had like a child at 13, I guess.
	You've had 15 years of rhythmic blood, for God's sakes.
	Yeah, and it's just You know, we're told that have a career, be successful.
	No, that's terrible advice.
	That's advice given to you by people who don't want you to have children.
	Who gave you that advice?
	People on the left.
	You're on the right.
	Huh.
	I wonder how that works.
	Look at that.
	We get to get all the case-selected people to not breed.
	And now we win the election.
	No, listen.
	Have children now.
	You have two kids.
	You're home with them for five years.
	Seven years.
	You're 35.
	You've got another 30 years to work if you want.
	But don't wait till later.
	Have a career now and have children later.
	It's either having few kids or no kids.
	Do it now.
	Because the career you can always do.
	The kids, that's a now thing.
	Yeah, there's no negotiating that.
	Is he hostile to Christianity?
	He's not.
	He's, I think, just very Kind of like, in a positive way, not hostile, just ignorant of it.
	He was raised Catholic, but I'm Protestant, so it's very different in terms of, you know, the upbringing and the views of it.
	Catholicism has a lot more to do with, like, your culture and your ethnicity and that sort of thing.
	Not anymore.
	Well, not anymore.
	Catholicism has a lot to do with opening the gates to Africa, but anyway, go on.
	Yeah, I mean, where I'm from, it's kind of like, oh, you're Italian, you're Catholic.
	Okay.
	Like, one of those types of situations.
	So we have a very different view on religion, but, and I don't want it to be to the point where we're incompatible.
	See, that's what I don't want, is I don't want to, you know, settle down with somebody who, after three months, I can't stand.
	Bet you like him.
	I do.
	Have you had a lot of relationships already?
	Uh, no.
	Just maybe like one and it went, it went pretty bad.
	And that was like four or five years ago.
	Holy tumbleweeds in the desert, Batman.
	I know.
	I feel like I'm wasting my life.
	Well, you're just wasting your eggs.
	Your life is continuing.
	Yeah.
	Eggs have fallen down the well of history.
	Bye-bye.
	Bye-bye, West.
	I know.
	It's like I feel like I have so much potential either in a job or as a mom or a wife.
	But, you know, here I am just spinning my wheels in a cubicle all the time and just trying to see what happens next.
	You know, maybe my next job will suck less.
	No, no.
	Your next job's going to be great.
	Do you know why?
	Because I'll be a mom?
	Yeah!
	I could create life.
	I could create new thoughts in the universe.
	I could bring eyeballs to life.
	You know, this is an incredible thing.
	Lindsay, think about it.
	Did you ever buy anything from Ikea?
	Yeah.
	Did you have much fun putting it together?
	No.
	I probably made a man put it together.
	Right.
	I don't know if in my entire existence I will ever build something that at some point I don't have to unbuild and rebuild again.
	If you ever want to, you think I'm a smart guy, maybe some people out there think I'm a smart guy, let me correct you.
	I will one day install a webcam when I'm putting together a ping pong table and everyone will say, I think this guy's a smart guy.
	I did try putting together a treadmill once.
	It took me two days and it turns out I was missing a part.
	Got me!
	And of course you do have these fairly pigged in Chinese Google Translate things that don't really make a lot of sense.
	But anyway, I can't put together a home entertainment console, but you can make eyeballs.
	They're just sitting like tiny little eyeballs right there in your belly just waiting to grow.
	It's incredible.
	You can build an esophagus.
	I don't even know what that looks like.
	But you can make one.
	Right?
	You can make a kidney.
	You can make a liver and not just like a gross liver dinner.
	Liver is literally some of the ugliest food I've ever had as a child.
	It's like that's when I ate a liver.
	I'm like, When I was a kid, I could kind of blank out, okay, it's meat, but you know, whatever, it's ground or whatever.
	A liver is like, okay, I'm eating an organ.
	I mean, there's no doubt about it.
	You can make a liver.
	You can make toes.
	You may even make webbed toes if things get kind of exciting.
	I don't know.
	You can make someone who can make someone.
	You're like one of those Russian dolls with more dolls inside of you.
	You can make people who can make people until the end of time.
	Doesn't that blow your mind?
	See, it does, and it's amazing, and it's awesome.
	But I do have one misgiving, because I've always had a ton of jobs, and I've always had jobs that I could quit.
	You know, this sucks, I hate it, I'm leaving.
	I'm a mom.
	That's like one job you can't ever quit.
	So I'm like worried.
	Sure you can.
	What do you mean you can't quit?
	If you're like a scumbag and you like leave your kid like on the side of the road somewhere, no.
	No, no, no.
	You can drop your kid off at a police station.
	You can drop your kid off at a Salvation Army.
	You can drop your kid off at a hospital anytime you want.
	Yeah, but you don't know.
	You suck within the first like three months of its life.
	You know when they're like 17, if you suck or not.
	No, come on, are you saying, you've listened to the show before, are you saying that there's not a single parenting standard that you could possibly apply that would give you some sense of confidence about whether you're a good or bad parent?
	I do feel like there are standards and I feel like I would be a good mom, but you don't know what they're going to turn out like.
	You know, they can hate my guts and... Of course you know how they could turn out!
	For God's sakes, they're not random.
	It's not like you're raising a fucking pack of wolves, you know?
	They can turn on you anytime!
	Chew you!
	Chew you!
	You've got a parent with one of those dark training armbands!
	I mean... If you're great to them... See, this is... Oh my God.
	It's like we've all just been trained to think that everything's so random that we have no control.
	I mean, the opposite of determinism is not randomness.
	But it's a kind of determinism.
	Because you can't trust anything, right?
	Yeah.
	I knew I was going to be a great husband.
	I knew I was going to be a great father.
	Guess what?
	Great husband, great father.
	I knew I was going to be a great philosopher and a great podcaster.
	Guess what?
	Great philosopher, great podcaster.
	You know these things.
	Didn't think I'd ever be a great singer.
	Like to do it.
	Doesn't like me back so much.
	I'm okay.
	But the things that I knew I was good at.
	Yeah.
	It's not random.
	You're going to have a baby.
	That baby's gonna breastfeed?
	It's gonna stare at you with these big neotenous liquid monkey eyes?
	You gonna bond?
	It will be flesh of your flesh.
	Your child will be incredibly sensitive to your moods.
	You will be incredibly sensitive to your child's moods.
	You will over parent.
	Why?
	Because you're a mom.
	You will be utterly unable to see that your child is growing up and needs you less and less.
	Why?
	Because you're a mom and that's what fathers are for.
	Women raise great children, men raise great adults.
	This is why you have a man around who can trust you and who trusts you and who you can trust.
	And you will love that child and you will do the best for that child and you will explain things to that child and you will bring consistency and clarity and reliability to that child's life.
	And that child will love you like there's no tomorrow.
	The other day, I was trying to explain something to my daughter.
	And I said, um, I asked her a rhetorical question.
	You know, what would you miss most in the world if you lost it?
	And she said, well, you and mom.
	Oh, that's awesome.
	You kidding me?
	That's amazing.
	Yeah.
	How old is she?
	Just matter of fact.
	Eight.
	Yeah, I guess I just have a lot of fears.
	I mean... No, you've just got to stop thinking and start doing.
	I'm sorry, Lindsay.
	You are an intellectual excuse and egg-blocking machine at the moment.
	Well, but, yes, but, yes, but, yes, but, yes, but, yes, but, yes, but... Stop it!
	Stop it, stop it, stop it.
	You know there's always six million reasons not to do something, right?
	Yes.
	Always, always, always.
	You can find something.
	Find some reason to not do something.
	The yes, but personality, not to go back to my daughter, but we were talking about determinism the other day.
	And I said, well, you know, I said, you're rolling down a hill, you can decide to stop rolling down a hill.
	Right?
	She said, yeah.
	And I said, Well, the rock is rolling down a hill.
	Can the rock decide to stop rolling down a hill?
	And she said, Well, yeah, I mean, if there's something inside the rock, and I said, Oh, really?
	What would be inside the rock?
	She said, an anthill?
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	And I said, Izzy, don't be a listener.
	Because she, she hears about some of these conversations, right?
	So there's always a reason, right?
	And the yes, but it's fine.
	But can I Paint you a portrait.
	There used to be these, um, you know what?
	Now that I'm thinking about it, let me find one.
	It'll just take a second.
	So there used to be this painter in the Victorian era.
	His name was Hogarth, which I always think is a Scrabble word when I'm wrong.
	It's actually Hogwarts, but no, Hogarth.
	Oh yeah.
	English painter, printmaker, pictorial satirist.
	Dare I say the Ben Garrison of his time.
	And he made these pictures and they generally are, this is 1731, a series of moral works and one is called a harlot's progress and they were originally paintings.
	The paintings are all lost but they were reproduced as imprints.
	And you can look this stuff up but basically it's, have you ever seen these pictures of You know, people, it's often women, like before meth and after meth.
	Uh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	You've seen those, right?
	It's a picture of before Obama, after Obama, it's the guy who was kidnapped by the four black guys.
	Anyway.
	Um, and he, he did these sequence of pictures, you know, this woman, she's young, she's healthy, she's enthusiastic and so on.
	And spoiler, she ends up dying of syphilis.
	Um, and, uh, he, he wrote a, uh, he, made a bunch of paintings that were moral stories and you didn't need to read to be able to get these moral stories.
	I do this.
	Yeah.
	I do this.
	And I need to do this to you.
	You need me to do it.
	Your eggs need me to do this to you.
	Western civilization.
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	I get that.
	You get that.
	I'm not talking about lie back and think of Plato.
	Although Anyway, no, that's a whole different story.
	So, 28, you know you're going to hit the wall soon, right?
	Mm-hmm.
	But your capacity to attract men is going to diminish.
	People call it the wall.
	You've probably heard about it, right?
	I've never heard it called that, but I'm definitely afraid of looking old.
	Right.
	You know how mushrooms are drawn to the light?
	You're going to be drawn to the dim.
	The lights are too bright!
	This is the vampire myth, right?
	You can't stand bright lights.
	Um, it's in, um, A Streetcar Named Desire.
	If you ever want to watch that to see what happens or what can happen, but you're going to lose the capacity to attract men.
	And you know what?
	It's going to be weird when it happens.
	It's going to be weird.
	It's going to be like, you've just lost a superpower.
	Boom.
	You wake up one day and it's like, Whoa, what, what the hell?
	You will know when that power vanishes.
	And that's when your baby hunger is going to be ravenous, ferocious.
	You'll be hungrier than somebody in a food line up in Venezuela for a baby.
	So you'll have a great desire for a baby and it could be like you always have to pee or you're always hungry.
	You want a baby.
	A baby is crying to be released from within you.
	But you can't get a man because you hit the wall.
	And you will be anxious, depressed, and you will look back at your twenties and you will say, what the hell was I doing?
	What the hell was I wasting my time on?
	Why didn't I do something?
	Why didn't I get the man?
	Why did this guy might slip away some other?
	And then you look around, you're like, I've got to get a man.
	And who's around?
	It's not a total freak show.
	I was single in my 30s, but it's a challenge.
	You know, it's this used car thing, right?
	All the good used cars are not on the market because people want to keep them for obvious reasons, right?
	The only cars that are on the market that are used are usually ones where there are some problems, right?
	So you get an older and because you're depressed and anxious, you can't perform that well at work.
	So it's not even like you have this great career.
	And then people you know have babies and it breaks your heart.
	You want to show that you're happy for them.
	But these little bundles of joy, this rosy glow, this connection, this power of making life, new eyeballs staring right at you out of a pink blanket or a blue blanket.
	And it will hit you like a mule kick to the ovaries.
	And you will want that so badly.
	It's stronger than sexual desire.
	It's what sex is for.
	And you will want to be happy for them and it will break your heart and you will cry.
	You won't even be able to stop crying on a bus on the way home because they have what has slipped away from you.
	They have purpose, they have a house full of laughter and noise and games and mess.
	It's lived in.
	It's alive.
	There's a future.
	Their children will grow strong as they grow old and they will have companions and they will have friendship and they will have love and they will have care as they age and they will have grandchildren and they will be sitting At the head of a very full table.
	And you will be binge watching Netflix with some frozen shit on your lap.
	No one to cook for.
	Your house will be tidy because there's no one there to mess it up.
	There's no life to knock anything over.
	There's no stains called existence.
	Can I just bring up one thing though?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So in, I guess you, you would call it the sexual marketplace.
	There's, you know, I'm trying to build this career.
	I'm trying to have a job that is somehow respectable, like computer networking, blah, blah, blah.
	And there's a lot of guys who are, you know, the ones you would want.
	And they look down on people who have crappy jobs.
	So, wouldn't it be in my best interest to get a better job because guys who are really good, they don't date girls with, like, really shitty jobs?
	Be so great he can't say no.
	Even with a shitty job?
	Be so great he can't say no.
	Do you know what happens... Listen, you're talking to a guy.
	Listen, you're talking to a guy.
	Running a philosophy show with no degree in philosophy.
	Do you think people don't have every reason in the world to say no to me?
	Do you know what I do?
	I'm so great people can't say no.
	I mean the show.
	This is including this your contribution to this conversation, right?
	The show is so great people can't say no.
	You up the quality until you become irresistible.
	But isn't having a good job like part of the quality?
	No.
	Absolutely not.
	And any man who thinks that your job is essential to your sexual market value is an idiot.
	Do you know why?
	Because you want children.
	So how long is that job going to last when you have children?
	I just feel like if you're dating... No, no, wait.
	No, no, no.
	Stop.
	Stop.
	Stay with me.
	Okay.
	Stay with me.
	This is like grabbing a bar of soap.
	You know what it's like?
	It's like my daughter makes these bubbles, you know, with soap and her finger blows them out and I've got to catch them.
	It's tough, right?
	The man, if he's really, really interested in a woman with a great job, then he probably doesn't want to be a father because if he becomes a father, any responsible woman is going to stay home with the children.
	Therefore, she's not going to have that great job.
	So what's the point?
	You having a great job is going to vanish if he marries you and gets you pregnant, right?
	So what's the point?
	The thing is, though, I just feel like there is this caste system and to get like these smart guys with actually good jobs who aren't, you know, working at GameStop, you know, you need to have something that impresses them.
	Stop!
	Do you think a rich guy with a great job is going to date a woman in her mid-thirties with very little relationship experience, even if she has a good job?
	Are you saying they would date a 22 year old?
	I don't know.
	They would go for a younger model.
	And I'll tell you this.
	I know this.
	I know this.
	I know this from personal experience that I was interested in a woman and asked a woman out.
	She was, Older than me.
	I was in my early thirties, she was in her late thirties.
	And I couldn't make a go of it.
	Do you know why?
	Why?
	Too much time pressure.
	Great woman.
	Liked her a lot.
	Couldn't make a go of it.
	Too much time pressure.
	If I wanted to be a father, I would have had to move quickly.
	Very quickly.
	Too quickly for me.
	Yeah, I'm still not at the age to date younger guys.
	Cause I mean, that's still a little gross to me.
	If he's the guy, he's the guy.
	Yeah.
	I, I, Just, I don't know, I think I'm kind of in like a nebulous delayed adolescence based on like the fact that I'm still in college, but I don't feel like I'm that old.
	Although I know in my mind that I am.
	All right.
	How long do you want it?
	We'll go through the math that you're taking, computer science, you know, math.
	How long do you want to date a man before you get married?
	Well, I'm Christian, so it doesn't have to be that long.
	A year?
	A year.
	Yeah, that's fine.
	Okay, good.
	So let's say you meet the guy over the next couple of months, or maybe it's this guy, and you start dating and you get married when you're 29.
	Okay.
	How long after you're married do you want to start having children?
	Well, in this scenario, probably after maybe like one or two years.
	Okay, let's say two years.
	You're 32 when you start trying.
	How many children do you want?
	I guess three.
	All right.
	Two years between each children, you're having your third child when you're 28.
	already in a risk category.
	I'm not kidding when I say plan ahead.
	And it's not my fault.
	Nature does this to your eggs, but she does.
	So what is your advice on the whole aspect of, like... No, no.
	Do you process anything I'm saying emotionally?
	You just keep, like, gliding past all this stuff.
	No, I am.
	Like, I really do understand that... I guess I just feel like I have to do one thing before the other.
	Like, I have to get, like, a decent job before having a family.
	No!
	No, please don't.
	I really, really want to dig into a company for a year and then quit.
	No, no.
	Leave the job for some man to have so he can support his family rather than costing your employer a lot of money in retraining someone because you quit to have babies.
	Be nice.
	Be helpful.
	It's not about your ego and your vanity and what you think is necessary.
	I just don't want to feel like I'm unsuccessful, I guess is what I'm getting at.
	You will be unsuccessful if you want to have children and you haven't even started your career.
	You will be unsuccessful because you want to have children and you want to be a good mom, which means you want to stay home with your children and breastfeed them and you'll be unavailable to work.
	Your career will suck.
	Because even if you start right now, and you're willing to have your third kid at 38, which isn't great, you're not available.
	When do you finish your education right now?
	Probably like next, next spring, not this coming up spring, but the year after.
	Oh my god, are you kidding me?
	I mean, I could definitely- Come on!
	Are you incapable of doing math?
	I'm not incapable.
	You're still a year and a half away from finishing your degree and then you want to have a career and then you maybe want to find a guy, get married and have three kids?
	Do you have infinity eggs?
	Do you wish to give birth to a dinosaur?
	I don't understand your math here.
	I mean, I definitely would get married like next Tuesday if the situation were available.
	And then would you quit your degree?
	No, I would still go.
	Excellent.
	So you'd be consuming society's educational resources for computer science when you stay home and raise children.
	So we're down one computer scientist as a society.
	Do you see where I'm coming from?
	I guess I'm trying to like have both and it's not possible.
	You think?
	You think?
	A woman who wants it all?
	I've never heard of such a thing.
	I mean, I know... A woman who's been convinced she can have it all?
	I've never heard of such a thing.
	And I know feminism has, you know, brainwashed everyone to think that, but it's... Well, it sure hasn't helped break the stereotype that women aren't great at math.
	But anyway, go on.
	I mean, I know that I'm old.
	I don't really want to, like, calculate just how old, but I guess... You do.
	No, you do.
	You do.
	You're not going to get anywhere running away from reality, right?
	I mean, you will.
	It'll just be a sad place of frozen dinners and cats who don't like you because you're too fucking needy, right?
	Dogs, but yeah.
	Okay, dogs who don't like you because you're too needy.
	Yeah, so... You can't have it all.
	You can't.
	I mean, you can't have it all.
	You can't be a good mother and have a great career at the same time.
	You can't.
	I don't care what Sheryl Sandberg says.
	You can't.
	You know who had a great career?
	Madonna.
	You ever want to look up how her kids are going?
	She's gross.
	You know who else had a great career?
	Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner.
	Yo!
	You know who else had a great career?
	Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.
	The thing is, I know that I'm going to have to work to support my children, so I... Why?
	Why, what, why?
	Because I don't think I'm going to marry someone wealthy.
	Why?
	Be so great, he can't say no.
	I don't understand why this is so complicated.
	Be so great, he can't say no.
	It's not easy to land like wealthy guys, let alone guys who just simply don't suck.
	Okay, fine.
	Fine.
	Guys who don't suck.
	I assume you mean straight guys.
	But let's just put it this way, then.
	Let's put it this way.
	You don't need a super wealthy guy to have someone who can support you raising children.
	You know why?
	Because you can lower your expenses.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	You can go live in a small town.
	You can go live on a dirt road.
	I mean, there's tons of things you can do.
	To lower your circumstances so that you can afford to stay home with your kids and your husband can support you.
	It won't be a mansion, but Jesus Christ, people had kids in the Great Depression.
	People had kids in wartime.
	People had kids in the Middle Ages.
	People had kids before there was Rome.
	Serfs had children, lots of them.
	So you're saying there's no excuse.
	There's no excuse, but I'll tell you this.
	I'll tell you one thing for sure, Lindsay.
	Are you ready?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, you're ready.
	You're ready.
	How attractive do you think this yes but personality aspect of yours is?
	I know I have a lot of aspects of my personality.
	No, no.
	Asking a question.
	Asking a question.
	How attractive, on a scale of minus 10 to plus 10, how attractive do you think that this excuse manufacturing yes but Blocking reality aspect of your personality is.
	Just out of curiosity.
	Give me a ballpark figure.
	It's like a zero, but I wouldn't show it to a guy.
	So it doesn't.
	No, it's not a zero.
	I said minus 10 to plus 10.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	It's a trick question.
	It's minus infinity.
	It's minus infinity.
	It's a little dash with that Mobius strip eating itself thing.
	Minus infinity.
	If you want a guy who's successful, Do you think yes, but guys are successful?
	No.
	No.
	I could start a philosophy show, but I don't have a degree in philosophy.
	I could start a philosophy show, but I don't have a studio.
	I could start a philosophy show, but I'm just driving in my car.
	I could start a philosophy show, but I don't speak ancient Greek.
	I could start a philosophy, right?
	How attractive would that be?
	Would I ever get a philosophy show going?
	No.
	So if you want a successful guy, he won't be a yes-but person.
	He won't be blocking every possible solution to every pressing problem, right?
	So how compatible do you think your yes-but personality structure is with a successful guy who makes things happen, who can provide for you as a mother?
	See, I mean, that is what I want to fix, to make myself like... Doesn't sound like you want to fix it, because I keep pointing it out, and you keep doing it!
	I do, I just don't know how.
	I mean, that was a yes button in and of itself.
	At least we've admitted a problem, which I consider a massive slab of progress.
	I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be difficult.
	No, I know, I know.
	And I'm sorry that this hasn't been pointed out to you bluntly before.
	Maybe it has, I don't know.
	But no, this is why you're not finding quality men.
	You know that, right?
	Because… It's not just because they're not out there.
	They're out there.
	They just see this yes but coming thing and fucking run.
	In what way though?
	In what way what?
	Do they see me as negative?
	Do they see me as Debbie Downer?
	Do they see me as… In what way?
	I would characterize it as a joyful combination of both inert and paralytic.
	In other words, you haven't been able to get your life going in a productive direction.
	And you also infect other people's enthusiasm for getting things done by endlessly drowning them in yes, but strangleholds.
	It's not all you are.
	I'm just pointing out this particular aspect.
	And it is.
	It is fixable.
	It's not even that hard to fix.
	But you have to know that it's there, right?
	And we all have it, don't we?
	We all have it, right?
	We all have it.
	Mike sometimes makes suggestions for topics and I'm like, yeah, but we all have it.
	You understand?
	And there's nothing wrong with it.
	It's an essential.
	Sometimes we do need to say yes, but.
	And that's why I won't marry Steph.
	Well, Mike just hasn't checked the fine print on his contract.
	He thinks that we're not legally married.
	But no, we do this, right?
	We're Mike with each other.
	Well, I don't know.
	Yes, but... We had a conversation about something and now I'm even more paralyzed than before we had the conversation.
	Oh, well.
	It happens.
	Well, we did record a great show, but I want to release it.
	So, yeah, it happens.
	And see, that's how I am with my career.
	I know I'm like that.
	Like the Yes Bat thing?
	Yes, I know that I'm like that and I've been told that I'm like that.
	Right.
	Which means your career probably won't be that successful anyway, right?
	If I can change it, it could be.
	But if you can change it, you should use it to get a great guy so you can have three kids!
	Because you're saying the guys are kind of inert, and then it's like, hello?
	Hello!
	Would you like to meet this lovely reflection called Lindsay in the mirror?
	She's really cool, but there's just a little bit of a hiccup in her personality, which we're going to take out with pliers if we have to.
	I know that I'm like this, but I don't think that I present this to other guys, like when I'm talking to them.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, no.
	No, no, no, no.
	You're not like Ariel Winter with her enormous fun bags before they got reproduced, where they strap her down for Modern Family.
	This is front and center.
	Because if you want an intelligent guy, if you want an ambitious guy, if you want a guy who's successful, he's going to know how to read people.
	Right?
	And you got to listen back to this conversation.
	I got it right away.
	Smart guys, you can't hide anything from smart people.
	They may pretend you're hiding something from them.
	They may pretend to collude with you.
	Yeah, yeah, fine.
	It's because they don't really care.
	Because they've already given up on you.
	I haven't.
	I can't.
	I can't.
	I want to give you those three babies.
	Take these three babies from me.
	On a platter.
	It's this or the frozen cat food, or whatever the hell we're talking about.
	Dogs!
	Sorry, it's this.
	Oh, you know what, it's this.
	Because if you've got dogs, it's wonderful, because it means that they'll eat your body when you die alone, and then nobody's going to have to get you cremated.
	Saves us money as taxpayers, because there won't be anybody left to cremate you.
	So let me just bring this full circle.
	So they know.
	They know.
	No, no, we're not done.
	They know.
	They know the Yes But thing.
	They know from your history, they know from your tentativeness, and they know from the bike chain.
	I don't know if you listened to the last call, but I was talking about a bike I had that I put together from crap.
	Where the chain kept slipping off having a conversation with you.
	It's like we're getting some old chains come off.
	Oh, going up the hill our chains come off and make it holes in my leg.
	So do you think the stalling the stalling?
	Yes, but yes, but yes, but yes, but yes, but yes, but You say, well, I know this about myself, but I want to fix it.
	But do you know, Lindsay, how you presented men to me in this conversation?
	Well, it's the men's fault.
	They're just not mature.
	They're just not grown up.
	They're just, they're no good men out there.
	You didn't say, well, you know, I have a bit of a habit of coming across kind of negative and yes, buddy.
	And I think that may have dry quality.
	You didn't say any of that to me.
	So don't give me this.
	Oh, I know all about it.
	Come on.
	I know about it in my career.
	I really do.
	I, It means that you can't have enthusiasm that sustains, which is what's happened in your life, right?
	You like something and then you don't because you've got the yes, but thing.
	I know that I'm doubtful of, I guess you could say how things are going to turn out.
	Right.
	Which means that it's going to be impossible for a man to trust you.
	You know, I mean, I'm sorry for this reality, but this is for women as a whole.
	You guys have to be so great because marriage is legally terrifying for men.
	Right?
	Men know what divorce is like.
	They've seen it in their own families, or they've read about it, or they've seen Divorce Corps, or they've watched the Red Pill movie.
	Men know what divorce can be like.
	When you say trust, I mean, I wouldn't cheat on a husband.
	No!
	No, but you can't get the kind of enthusiasm that has you commit to someone or something.
	I mean, this is your fourth career option now.
	So he's gonna be like, well, she just quits.
	And then I, you know, I say, well, let's go out.
	She's like, yeah, but or I say, well, let's go away for the weekend.
	You're like, well, I don't know if we're gonna get along.
	You can't commit to enthusiasm, which means you can't bond with someone beyond the shadow of a doubt.
	Isn't there nothing wrong with quitting a career if you hate it, though?
	Like, if I were to... No, but it shows that you think you love something, and then you hate it.
	Mm-hmm.
	I love you, man of mine.
	Yeah, well, didn't you love being a lawyer, and then you hated it, and then didn't you love art and film, and then you hated history, and then you hated it, and then you loved being a teacher, and then you hated it, so you say you love me?
	Who's to say you won't hate me in six months?
	It's just because I don't know what I like.
	I mean... Right!
	That's what a man is gonna understand!
	You don't know what you like!
	I know what I like in guys.
	Just not for myself.
	No, you don't.
	No, you don't.
	Because you were just telling me that it was the guy's fault that you hadn't settled down.
	Or got a steady boyfriend.
	It's not... Because if you knew what you liked in guys, you'd also know what guys like.
	If I'm not seeing people who meet what I want, then I don't bother with them.
	You're not thinking about what is attractive to men!
	Your tits and ass won't cut it!
	Because we're talking about marriage, we're not talking about a fling.
	It's your personality characteristics, your trustworthiness, your reliability, your commitment, your consistency, your integrity, your honesty, your self-knowledge.
	Women who have self-knowledge are almost perfectly safe to date and almost perfectly safe to marry because they're not random and they don't overreact and they don't blame others when it's their fault and they don't accept blame when it's someone else's fault because they have self-knowledge and a man who's going to be a quality man who's going to be successful is going to have some degree of self-knowledge I don't just mean financially
	Steve Jobs.
	I don't know how much self-knowledge the guy had, but a guy who's going to be a good husband and a good father is going to have to have self-knowledge, which means that he's going to know your degree of self-knowledge in about 30 seconds.
	And you can't hide it any more than you can go to Japan and pretend to be speaking Japanese when you don't speak Japanese.
	The people who speak Japanese will know you don't speak the damn language in about 10 seconds.
	So you're thinking there, and this is the, this is the list.
	There's nothing wrong.
	With anything that's going on with you, right?
	I want to sort of point this out and this is why I want to shock you before time does.
	Lindsay, everything makes perfect sense to you because you've had the very highest sexual market value that is possible in the world throughout history, right?
	An attractive, young, single female in a Western country, highest sexual market value, maybe higher if you were Asian, I don't know, maybe you are, but you've had the highest sexual market value and so You've only been thinking what you find attractive.
	Why?
	Because everyone else finds you attractive because eggs and youth and fertility and hormones.
	But now that you're trying to think about how to settle down and have a real family with a husband who's going to be a great father and a steady provider and someone you can trust and grow old with and get ugly with and get liver spots with and have minor procedures you won't refer to as operations with, you know, like, I mean, You need somebody that's more than physical attraction.
	You need to provide more than physical attraction.
	You have to start thinking about whether you're attractive to a good man, not about what you want only.
	I mean, do you know why this show is successful?
	Because I'm thinking about what the audience wants all the time.
	Why are you in this conversation?
	Because you know I am desperately fighting tooth and nail to get you what you want.
	I'm not thinking about what I need.
	I'm thinking about what you need, or more specifically, what your eggs need.
	Stable sperm and money.
	I guess my question is... Okay, at least it wasn't a yes, but okay, I guess it's all right.
	Go on.
	I consider myself not super, super smart, but you know, pretty smart.
	I think I have some degree of self-knowledge, but how do I improve that?
	You have to overcome playing it safe.
	If you want something great, playing it safe is the wrong way to go about it.
	You need to commit to being enthusiastic.
	You need to commit to the cynicism and scorn that will inevitably arise from some people around you when you are enthusiastic.
	Oh, she's such a cheerleader.
	Or, you know, I even did it myself.
	Thinking back on this conversation, when you talked about how good you were in school, what did I say?
	Apple polisher.
	I mean, I was joking and all that.
	But when you are enthusiastic, when you wear your heart on your sleeve, when you're emotionally When you're open to the skies above, sometimes you get rain and sometimes you get hail and sometimes you get half frozen frogs.
	And so this yes, but you're not living.
	You're not alive.
	Fundamentally, you're hedging your bets.
	For what?
	You can end up being thrown into a grave at the end of your life, like a sack of enclosed meat.
	And whether you live big or live small won't matter then.
	I don't want people to get the reality of what playing it small costs you when it's too late to play it big.
	You know the number one concern?
	The number one regret that old people have?
	I wish I hadn't been so scared of what other people would think.
	I wish I hadn't played it small.
	I wish I'd taken more risks.
	You're 28.
	You want three children.
	You're not going to get there by playing it small.
	You're not going to get there by waiting.
	And you're certainly certainly not going to get there waiting for your declining sexual market value to hoover you in a great guy without working on your personality.
	You might have a fling.
	You won't get a ring.
	I want you to get a ring.
	I want you to get a ring and I want you to have those three kids.
	But you Have got to start being enthusiastic and honest.
	You like this guy?
	Ask him out.
	Tell him you want to settle down.
	Tell him you want three kids.
	It's what my wife told me on our second date.
	She said, you look like a player.
	I said, thanks.
	She said, I don't want to fling.
	I don't want to be a girlfriend.
	I want to be a wife.
	Know what she is?
	A wife and a mother.
	And we couldn't be happier.
	I am forever grateful that she was that direct and honest with me.
	Forever grateful.
	Best thing that ever happened.
	She was enthusiastic and irresistibly great.
	We went out for dinner by accident.
	Supposed to be the whole volleyball team, everyone else cancelled out.
	We went out for dinner.
	We met again two days later.
	We never spent a day apart until we were married 11 months later.
	15 years now.
	Just had her anniversary.
	And she's still enthusiastic.
	And she's still direct.
	So she got a great guy.
	You need that.
	You got to stop playing it small.
	What are you, what are you hoarding?
	What are you hoarding your enthusiasm for?
	What are you protecting with all this?
	Yes, but go out, play hard, go out and get what you want.
	And look, if you end up not getting what you want, you won't have failed because you will have given it everything you had.
	Before I do, before I do what I do now, I was many things.
	As an actor, as a playwright, as a director, a novelist, poet, a business entrepreneur, then a writer again.
	I don't regret all of the things that I tried to do and it didn't work out because I gave it my all.
	When I wanted to be an actor I went to the National Theatre School, I studied acting.
	When I wanted to be a playwright I went to the National Theatre School and I studied playwriting.
	When I wanted to be a novelist I wrote novels.
	When I wanted to be a businessman I Co-founded a company and worked 24 seven to build it.
	I wanted to have the greatest philosophy show in the history of the world.
	The greatest philosophy show there ever will be because after this, whatever comes after this has the example of this and give it my all.
	Maybe I'll fail.
	Maybe everyone will stop listening tomorrow, but it won't be because I withheld anything.
	It won't be because I held anything back.
	This yes, but thing, it's not buying you security.
	It's not buying you safety.
	It's buying you nothingness.
	It's going to buy you solitude and bitterness and regret and childlessness.
	Go openheartedly embrace the future that you want and make it damn well happen.
	And when the yes, but comes up in you, you can demand the yes, but Oh, yes, but are you here?
	Are you going to give me children?
	Are you going to provide for me while I'm home with those children?
	No?
	Then no.
	Sorry.
	come at me some other way.
	Well, what do you say to me applying those same principles to say a better job?
	Do you want me to raise my voice?
	Do you?
	I won't because it would be too satisfying because you want me to be unpleasant to you so that you can dismiss what I just said.
	No, no.
	No, you do.
	You do.
	Let's be honest.
	Let's be honest.
	Because how many times have I already said, if you want the kids, there's no point going for the career.
	And the guy who's in high quality doesn't care about your career because he knows you're going to stay home with his kids anyway.
	But you keep going back to the career thing.
	And what you're doing, because you're a smart woman who has been listening, what you're doing is you're trying to provoke me into a negative reaction so you can dismiss what I said because it's scary to you.
	But I'm not going to be provoked into a negative reaction.
	I'm not trying to provoke her negative reaction.
	I just feel like there are other goals that I have in my career that I have been very yes but about that I still want to achieve.
	It's too late.
	We just did the math, right?
	Do you remember?
	Yes.
	Let's say that you work for two years and then try and get married.
	Okay, you're 30 and you're busy in a career.
	And if you really want to be a success at a career, you're going to work a lot at that career.
	Less time for dating, less time for self-maintenance, less time for going to the gym and exercising.
	Let's say that somehow by miracle you do manage to get married in two years.
	Then you're just having your third kid at 40.
	To help with the career, that ship has sailed.
	If you want to have kids, Go get the man now.
	Be so fantastic, he can't say no.
	It's one or the other.
	I'm here to tell you.
	It's reality.
	You can't have both.
	Nobody gets both.
	I don't get both.
	Did you notice me writing any books over the last eight years?
	No.
	Why?
	Because I'm a dad.
	I used to write two books a year.
	As well as doing podcasts.
	Two books a year.
	I could have written 16 more books.
	Instead, I have an eight-year-old daughter.
	Much better.
	I guess I just have a very deeply held belief that guys want a girl with a good job.
	Not good as in money, but good as in like, she doesn't hate her life.
	Wait.
	She doesn't hate her life?
	Yeah.
	What do you mean?
	The alternative is have a really great job or hate your life?
	No, no, no, no.
	Like guys don't necessarily want a girl who's loaded.
	They just want a girl who has a job that she enjoys that doesn't suck out all of her... And why does a man want that?
	Why does a man want that?
	Because they don't want to see you coming home every day miserable.
	Right.
	We covered this.
	Do you remember what we talked about?
	You're not coming home miserable because you're staying home with babies.
	You understand?
	But I have to not be miserable before the baby is born.
	Why?
	I don't understand.
	Oh, like one reason I left teaching is because it made me miserable and I didn't want to be miserable and I So you want to have kids, so if you marry a guy, get pregnant and have kids, why would you be miserable?
	You got what you wanted.
	I guess I'm more referring to the dating process.
	You're dating the guy, I guess you can keep going to do your classes while you figure out whether the relationship's going to work out, sure.
	Once it works out, why wouldn't you just get married and Start nesting.
	Yeah.
	Well, I guess he would be starting his career, right?
	Mm-hmm.
	Is he your age?
	He's older.
	Oh, good.
	Okay.
	So he's more mature.
	He's hopefully got some savings.
	You have to be extra special great though, because you come with significant debt, right?
	Mm-hmm.
	Which he's going to have to pay off.
	It just means you have to be greater.
	I do want to be more positive.
	I consider myself like very bubbly and nice, but... And you claiming self-knowledge?
	Well, it's rooted in like an insecurity.
	It's not like genuine You know, it's not, it's rooted in insecurity and not wanting to be perceived as, I guess, mean or I don't know.
	I mean, you failed at a whole bunch of stuff in your life, right?
	I mean, I'm not trying to be down on you, but this is an empirical fact.
	You can't be trusting your own judgment hugely, right?
	I mean, you're 28 and you're trying to start some new education, some new career while you're already in debt after having failed or bombed out of two or three before.
	I mean, I'm not criticizing you.
	We just have to be honest, right?
	You've not made good decisions to be where you are at the age of 28.
	So I can understand why you'd have some insecurity about your decision-making capacity.
	And this isn't just you.
	Tons of people, as you say, this is a millennial issue.
	Tons of people are in this situation, Lindsay.
	And I'm sorry that there weren't more people around you who were able to have these kinds of conversations to help get you on the right path.
	And I say this as a guy who also bombed out of a bunch of stuff too.
	So you can't be that keen on your own judgment if this is where you are, right?
	Starting out hugely in debt, 28, one kids, no guys, you know, I mean, this is not where you wanted to be when you were younger.
	I mean, high school was 10 years ago.
	Where are you?
	So I can understand why you're...
	Unable to be enthusiastic and commit.
	Maybe that's part of why you bombed out of stuff.
	But this is why.
	Go be a mom.
	You'll love it.
	And let all I mean, let all this stuff go.
	If you want to be a mom, if you don't want to be a mom, fine, you know, I mean, I think it's a shame.
	And I think you'll regret it.
	But if you don't want to be a mom, then you know, keep plowing on right.
	But If you do want to be a mom, and I think Christian women can make some pretty great moms, to be honest with you, certainly better than some atheists, but if you want to be a mom, let all this stuff go.
	You can't have it both ways anyway.
	And look, if you want to have a career later when your kids get older, you've got, you know, 40 till 70, you've got a good old 30 years, longer than you've even been alive, you can have a job.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I guess it does have to be a top priority at this point.
	I just feel like I'm trying to make up for the past, you know?
	You are going to have to make up for stuff, for sure, because you come with a debt, which means you have to be so fantastic.
	Look, when I met my wife, I didn't have a job.
	I mean, I was taking time off to write books.
	I didn't have a job.
	I just had to be greater.
	I had to be more fun and be more engaging, more, right?
	Everybody's got stuff to overcome.
	You come with debt and with some insecurity about your life choices, but the good news You have not been great at making life choices, so surrendering to motherhood and having those choices made for you by circumstances will probably be a better thing for you.
	Right?
	You running your own life hasn't worked out that well.
	Having children run your life may be the very best thing that's ever happened to you.
	You know what I mean, right?
	You'll still be in charge, but you know what I mean.
	I can make your life defined for you by being a mom.
	I guess it just I mean, I know this is all true.
	It just sucks to realize, like, I'm somebody who's supposed to be a smart person and this is what happens.
	It doesn't mean you're not smart.
	Look, the ground has shifted underfoot.
	What your parents told you, what society is telling you, used to work when your parents were young.
	Used to work when all the people giving you this advice were young.
	It doesn't work anymore.
	A college degree is not a ticket anymore.
	It's a liability in many ways.
	It's not, I don't want you to come out of this like, Steph thought I was dumb.
	Steph didn't think I was smart.
	I'm not smart.
	That's not what I'm saying at all.
	It's not that I think you said that.
	It's just that realizing that I've made so many decisions and I've done the best I could at the time and you know, it's, it's all come, To, like, the worst possible conclusion.
	And I'm not even, like, a dumb idiot girl.
	What is the worst possible conclusion?
	Well, I mean, just not being successful.
	And what would being successful look like?
	What would it have meant?
	All the typical things.
	Having a job that I enjoy at maybe age 25, meeting somebody, maybe getting married at 26.
	And then when would you have had kids?
	27.
	So what was the point of all that then?
	Like why, why have a job that you love at 25 so that you can leave it to have kids at 27?
	What's the point?
	I guess it's just part of that societal brainwashing that, you know, you have to be successful, you have to be interesting, you have to have skills, you have to be all these things.
	Do you find that society has given you a lot of good advice, Lindsay?
	No.
	Has society given you advice trying to help you To achieve or attain that which will make you the happiest?
	I know intellectually it is rooted in, you know, feminism is rooted in making women miserable and it's worked.
	It does.
	It has worked and I'm trying to unwork it.
	I'm trying to work it, baby.
	I like to work it, work it.
	It does.
	It does.
	You know, people on the right are more physically attractive than people on the left on average, according to studies.
	It's true.
	And you're more into the free market.
	You're more because you're an attractive person.
	You're a smart person.
	You're a charming person.
	You're an engaging person.
	You're an honest person.
	And you can get a great guy.
	But All these unattractive people who can't get great guys are trying to block you from getting what you want.
	Why?
	Because they're miserable.
	And they want other people to be miserable.
	Oh, and the government wants you in the workforce so that they can tax you.
	And they don't want you making babies because making babies cost politicians money.
	They got to provide services, whereas having you single childless in the workforce generates money for the government.
	It just generates misery for you.
	And what is this oasis where they, who do you know who loves their job?
	I guess I look to people that I admire who are, I guess, more famous, you know, people like you or people like who are doing careers that are, you know, prominent.
	I, I like Alex Jones.
	I like a lot of, I'm interested in a lot of things that I shouldn't necessarily talk about on a date.
	First of all, you should.
	You should talk about those things on a date.
	Alex Jones?
	The content of what Alex talks about?
	Yes, that's what I care about.
	I think Alex is single now, isn't he?
	I wish.
	No, he is.
	You may be getting a call.
	Hello?
	I'm going to speak slowly and dirty.
	And I actually did.
	I have not that much to hide.
	And I did tell this guy that I'm into that and he still hasn't run away.
	Right.
	I mean, you get that this is a very traditionally female thing to hide who you are in the hopes of bagging a guy, right?
	I mean, that's kind of manipulative.
	It is, which is why I told him.
	Yeah, be honest.
	Yeah, that's good.
	Being honest.
	I mean, I didn't get to where I wanted to get till I was 40.
	And even after that, I mean, the show I've been doing full time for seven or eight years was a long, was a long haul.
	I sure as when I was 28.
	Let's see when I was 28.
	I'd finished my master's and I was working at a Coding job was probably pretty dead end come to think of it.
	But, uh, I was starting to transition into being an entrepreneur and I'd already gone through two or three different things that I wanted to do, but didn't, or I thought I wanted to do, but didn't like.
	I liked acting, still do.
	Actors, directors, bunch of lefty state sucking pond scum, bunch of Marxist nut jobs.
	Couldn't do it.
	Couldn't do it.
	I just could not participate in another fucking anti-capitalist play.
	I couldn't do it.
	Or another victim celebration play or another politically correct bullshit play.
	I couldn't do it.
	I couldn't do it.
	I couldn't watch another improv of Native Canadian throat singing.
	I couldn't do it.
	I couldn't do it.
	It was like I was having physical reactions to it.
	So I understand what it means to think you'll love something and find out that the environment is detestable.
	it It wasn't the teaching you disliked.
	It was the environment.
	It wasn't, uh, the lawyer lawyering.
	It was the environment.
	I understand that the people, the circumstances, but you have, um, like all of us, you have been programmed to think that you need to do things a certain way.
	To hell with what people say.
	To hell with what people say, Lindsay.
	You want to be a mom?
	Be a mom.
	You don't need all these, you don't need a resume.
	You don't need all these prerequisites.
	You don't need to have stock options.
	You understand?
	What you will have to do though, and I think it comes down to this, you will have to trust a man to take care of you and to pay your student debt.
	You will have to trust a man.
	And if there's one thing feminism has done, it has destroyed women's trust of men, which is why women feel like, Oh, I got to have a career.
	I got to have a fallback position.
	I mean, what if he leaves me?
	What if he just turns out to be a jerk?
	What if he's a secret drunk?
	What if he's a secret pedophile?
	Why can't I have my right now?
	Find a great man.
	Be so great.
	He can't resist.
	Be excellent to each other.
	Be fruitful and multiply.
	Amen.
	Amen.
	And that's all I got.
	It's a four hour and 40 minute show.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	I'm done standing in one spot.
	I'm turning into a garden gnome.
	Was this helpful?
	It really was.
	I thank you so much.
	Was I horrible?
	No, you were really... I was expecting you to be a little harsher on me and I appreciate you.
	I am not trying to be horrible.
	I am desperately fighting to try and get you what you want.
	I hope you know that.
	I do.
	And I appreciate what you do on your show and, you know, how you stand up for these values that are under attack every day.
	Will you let us know how it goes?
	I will.
	Thank you so much.
	Will you name your first born free to main radio?
	I'll have to pick a human name, maybe Stefan.
	Stefan and Alex.
	You can call your first born Stefan just Please do me a favor, follow the branding and just try and misspell it as much as you possibly can.
	That's the branding.
	It's only five letters and they're all pretty obvious.
	There's no four Ms in a silent queue.
	Anyway, and I hope you will listen back to this conversation.
	I will.
	And yeah, if you like this guy at some point, play it to him too.
	Have him call in.
	Happy to chat.
	All right.
	Thanks, Lindsay.
	Thanks everyone so much for a great Cool.
	Lindsay, you've got Mike's email.
	So less than seven days, we'll need a sonogram.
	But I'll get back to you more about that.
	But thanks, everyone.
	Have yourself a wonderful, wonderful day.
	Please check out the new presentation.
	Yes, it is another lengthy masterpiece, I dare say, called the truth about McCarthyism, modern parallels.
	It is, well, I think some people Actually, a few people have said that it's even better than the fall of Rome.
	I think it's interesting.
	And yeah, it's a great, great presentation.
	I know it's long.
	You can download it, listen to it on the podcast at fdrpodcast.com.
	You can even watch it if you want me to sound like a fax at double speed, something more human, 1.25 or 1.5 speeds.
	I really appreciate everyone's very, very kind words.
	What do we got here?
	Okay, but how many times have I complimented on you?
	You on the best presentation today, but this is so good.
	And so on point, it should be required listening for all Americans.
	Finally, someone has breached the real truth on this topic.
	Exquisite.
	This guy said, Damn, Stefan, you keep getting better and better as an old geezer Vietnam vet retired lawyer.
	I sort of remembered McCarthy.
	He was totally correct.
	Really respect your videos.
	Many thumbs up.
	I really Really appreciate that and lots of great comments on what a great presentation it is, which I was totally not checking during the show because that would be entirely rude, but just looking at it now.
	And, um, so I, um, uh, really hope that people will check out that presentation is very, very important.
	Uh, and it's, uh, the modern parallels are really, really quite chilling and will become more so over the next year or two.
	And so, uh, thanks so much.
	freedomainradio.com slash donate to help out the show.
	Don't forget to follow me on Twitter and do your shopping at, oh sorry, follow me on Twitter at Stephen Molyneux and do your shopping at fdrurl.com slash Amazon.
	And now I must move my legs which have turned into stumpy tree trunks of numbness.
	So have a great day everyone.

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