Feb. 19, 2018 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
23:37
4006 24% of Women Always Feel Sexy, 55% Sometimes and 9% Never
Approximately 17,000 women in the United States of America were asked "Do you consider yourself sexy?" and 24% said "always," 55% said "sometimes" and 9% said "never." Stefan Molyneux discusses the reality of sexual market value and the fallacy of sexy at any size. Article: https://priceonomics.com/the-united-states-of-sex-a-survey-of-17000-women/Your support is essential to Freedomain Radio, which is 100% funded by viewers like you. Please support the show by making a one time donation or signing up for a monthly recurring donation at: http://www.freedomainradio.com/donate
Hope you're doing well. Some very interesting data has come out.
This is a very big survey of women and sexiness.
It's 17,000 women across the United States, so it's a very, very large sample size.
I guess pun intended.
And the question is, do you feel sexy?
Do you feel hot?
Do you feel attractive? And I'm just gonna lay it right out there about what I think about this study and males, females, let me know what you think in the comments below.
So this is a summary of the findings.
Overall, 55% of women feel sexy sometimes.
24% always feel sexy and 9% never feel sexy.
Now, Sexy is not subjective.
If you look at beautiful faces around the world, they all share very common characteristics.
Sexy is not just something you make up in your own mind.
It's like height or wealth or whether you have hair or not.
This is not something you just make up in your own mind.
These are objectively measurable things.
So a good hip-to-waist ratio means that you have higher fertility.
Lustrous hair means you're healthy.
Clear skin means you have good genes.
Even features means you have even better genes.
And so sexy is genetic markers for fertility.
And this is why you can be a silver fox as a man because you're going to have more resources as you accumulate them over time, but you can't really be a silver fox as a woman.
This is why women who are young have a much higher sexual market value than men who are young in general because women who are young have an excess of fertility and their deficiency of money doesn't really matter, whereas men who are young, well, I guess they have an excess of fertility.
Can you bend your sheets? But also, They have a deficiency of money, of resources.
So the idea that whether you feel sexy is something subjective, it's like saying, do you feel overweight?
Do you feel tall or short?
Do you feel that you have a pimple or not?
So the idea that you can sometimes feel sexy is not a very rational statement.
So women on the coasts, California, New York, Florida tend to be more confident about being sexy than women in middle America, and that's, I would assume, because women in middle America are more Christian and therefore focus on personality more than mere sexual market markers, and also they will tend to get married younger and therefore are having kids and all of that.
The sexuality is a coin you spend to get resources to raise your children for women, biologically speaking.
Women feel the least sexy at their youngest, less than 18, and their oldest, 66 plus years.
And women in relationships, either dating or engaged, feel sexier than single, divorced, and married women.
65% of women find confidence to be the sexiest trait in a person, while only 7% cite wealth.
Now, that's interesting.
I'm going to assume that this means what they find sexy in men.
Confidence? That is not a very good marker for whether somebody is good or not, whether they're sexy or not.
Confidence, I guess, just getting swept up in psychotic self-aggrandizement, megalomania, narcissism, and so on.
Confidence is not a good thing, you know.
Sociopaths are extraordinarily confident.
People with high self-esteem can be entirely delusional about their own abilities.
So what's interesting is that confidence, which is a state of mind, is the sexiest trait in a person, while only 7% cite wealth, which is actually a marker of achievement in one form or another.
If you have come from nothing and made a good deal of money, then that speaks well to your intelligence, negotiation capacity, drive, Empathy for your customers or whoever is purchasing your services.
So that's good. If you've inherited money, that means that your father had or your mother had those traits and you've inherited the biological traits, we would assume to some degree, along with the material results of the intelligence and ambition of your parents.
So it's interesting that a state of mind is considered to be the sexiest trait, whereas actual money, which is a measurable metric of Whether your confidence is justified.
I am confident that I'm really good at making money.
That's considered to be really sexy by two-thirds of women while actually making the money.
Having a measurable result for your self-view is only 7%.
So, do you consider yourself sexy percentage of women who responded with the following?
Sometimes, 55% yes, 24% no, 9%.
And about 11% responded with another option we provided.
I feel weird calling myself that.
So, I'll link to the study below and you can look at this in more detail.
And so, sexiness by relationship status.
Do you consider yourself sexy?
Relationship status, casually dating, yes, 34%, no, 4%, sometimes 53%.
That's really quite fascinating.
If you don't feel sexy, you're casually dating, you don't consider yourself sexy, no is only 4%.
What that means, of course, is that in general, we can do the math here, just in my head.
It means that 96% or more than 19 women out of 20 consider themselves sexy, yes or sometimes, when they're casually dating.
Hmm, 96% of women sexy.
What's that old joke from Seinfeld?
Have you been down to the DMV? Have you looked at how people look?
Just go to the mall.
In America, go on an airplane, go to the beach, just go roaming around.
94, sorry, 96% of the women, do they seem sexy?
And this is funny too, because in other studies, women have been asked to rate the attractiveness of randomized men, and 80% of the men are considered below average in attractiveness.
Boy, there's a recipe for relationship happiness and even-handed dating opportunities.
So women rate four out of five men as below average in attractiveness, which means women have entirely unrealistic standards about male attractiveness.
Men, on the other hand, rate women about 50-50 attractive or unattractive, but when they're rating themselves, 96% of women say that they're sexy.
So four out of five men are below average in attractiveness, but more than 19 out of 20 women, according to women, are sexy!
My goodness, that is just astounding.
So, casually dating, engaged.
Yes, you feel sexy, goes down.
No, goes up a little bit, sometimes goes up as well.
And when you're married, yes, you feel sexy, 20%.
No, 11%, sometimes 58%.
And this has something to do, I'm sure, with getting older as well.
Now, this is interesting as well, because there's been a whole lot of You know, fit at any weight, sexy at any size, obesity is not a problem.
Well, no, obesity is a problem.
Obesity is a huge problem in particular for women because obesity is a sign of a lack of self-restraint, which is itself a sign of lower intelligence.
The more intelligent you are in general, the more you can defer gratification.
And what is obesity other than a failure to defer gratification, to wanting The sweet or fatty food or whatever it is that causes you to gain weight in the now rather than health in the future.
So it is a huge marker.
It is also a marker of whether you possess something that's very, very important in a relationship.
And that is sometimes referred to as the third eye or the observing ego.
And I don't know if you've had this where I remember watching a film called Reds with Warren Beatty many, many years ago, and Jack Nicholson ends up in this desert, in this completely lunatic environment, and I remember the person I was watching with the movie turned to me and said, like, doesn't he ever ask himself, like, that old talking heads question, how did I get here?
How did I end up in this situation?
It's called the observing ego, where you look at yourself and you evaluate yourself and your actions, your behaviors relative to some standard of normalcy or ideal behavior or something better.
And so the observing ego is do you look at yourself and judge yourself relative to some standard?
You need that to have a good relationship because if the person is purely subjective then their anger becomes truth and there's no way to measure They're aggressive or abusive behavior relative to some standard.
You have to have a standard you compare your behavior to.
And if you are found wanting, as we always are generally, we attempt to close the gap to act in a better manner.
So if you're obese, male or female, what that means is you don't sort of look at yourself and say, wow, I can't fit into these pants.
Oh, I've gained a little bit of weight. I should change my behavior.
You don't have a self-correcting mechanism, or you don't have enough of one to prevent obesity.
Also, of course, obesity is bad for fertility, like all the markers I talked about before.
Are you sexy? Well, sexy means that you have sexually positive characteristics, fertility positive characteristics.
In other words, you are a woman that a man wishes to make a baby with, and so the self-discipline of weight maintenance, the deferral of gratification of weight maintenance, these signal personality traits that are positive, that lead to success.
in life.
So this sexy at any size and it's all also There's two other factors about obesity.
Number one is that obesity interferes with menstruation.
It interferes with the cycle, and it can cause infertility or reduced fertility, so it is obviously a negative for sexiness.
Sexiness is around fertility.
Also, last but not least, the question is if you're obese, then you will generally make less money and be less successful in life.
And so if you're going to have children with an obese woman, the question is, well, first of all, she's going to gain weight over pregnancy and will she ever lose it?
That's, you know, when your mama sits around the house, she really sits around the house, right?
How is she going to feed your children?
Is she going to feed herself obesity-causing foods while feeding your children healthy foods?
Are your children going to be fat?
Are they going to be mocked? Are they going to be teased, excluded?
Is that what you want? And also the epigenetics of obesity is important as well, that if you have a fat mother Then it is more likely that your children are going to gain weight, all other factors being equal.
Obesity transmits itself through generations.
So as far as you want your children to succeed, there are significant markers to avoid, and one of them, of course, on average, is obesity.
So sexiness by body type.
Responses to, do you consider yourself sexy?
So body type is muscular.
Yes, 32%. No, 7%.
Sometimes 46%.
Skinny, curvy, petite, voluptuous, big and beautiful.
So big and beautiful, I assume that means fat.
Voluptuous probably means fat.
Curvy probably means fat.
So if we look at curvy, do you consider yourself sexy?
No, only 8%.
Only 8%.
So if you're curvy, 26% of the time, you consider yourself sexy, I guess, all the time.
And sometimes is 57%.
Hmm, that's pretty wild.
Voluptuous. Do you consider yourself sexy?
Yes, 23%.
So almost one out of four women who are voluptuous, which means Rubenesque, which means fat, consider themselves sexy.
No is only 10%.
And sometimes it's 56%.
Big and beautiful.
That means, I think, obese.
Maybe even morbidly obese, but definitely obese, in my view.
So, big and beautiful, do you consider yourself sexy?
Yes! 20%.
1 out of 5 obese women consider themselves sexy.
It's like that Chris Rock routine.
No, 16%. Sometimes 51%.
So that means 71% of obese women consider themselves sexy.
Yes, or sometimes. Only 16% say no.
So, almost three-quarters of obese women consider themselves sexy.
That's truly, really astonishing.
Long and lanky women, an average, all 20% rank below average.
How do you self-identify your body type?
And I guess this is better than BMI or whatever, which is not perfect, but not terrible.
How would you describe your body type?
Curvy, 38%.
See, I don't know if that includes just fat rolls in the abdomen or whatever, right?
Average, 21%.
Big and beautiful, 13%.
Athletic, 8%. Skinny, 7%.
Voluptuous, 5%.
Petite, 5%.
Muscular, long and lengthy, and other are 1%.
Now, what does the ideal body type look like to you?
So what do women see as the ideal body type?
All body types. All body types.
31%. And curvy, 27%.
Athletic, 17%.
And you know, come on.
Please, people. Oh, let's get real about all of this stuff.
I mean, ladies, I know that there's some answer you're supposed to give.
Like, it's fine.
You can be, you know, healthy at any size.
You can't be. You can't be.
Number one killer in America is heart disease, which is related to obesity and a lack of exercise.
Sorry, it's a fact.
And that's just crazy.
You can be healthy at any size.
Well, no, you can't be.
And it's just a lie.
I'm sorry. So what's interesting is that Add together all body types and curvy, right?
And you get 58%, right?
So well north of half women say all body types and curvy are the ideal body types.
And that's what they say, these women.
Hmm. Here's a comparison.
You know, just a little something you can compare this data to.
Pick up a woman's magazine and have a little flip through.
It doesn't have to be something that's just dedicated to fitness, right?
But just pick up a woman's magazine and flip through and look at who is advertising the yoga pants.
Look at who is advertising the makeup.
Look at who is advertising the athletic wear.
Look at who is advertising you name it.
And are close to 60% of those women either all random body types or, you know, cottage cheese, thighs, curvy, who knows, right?
No. So we're going to assume that the makers of the women's magazines understand their market to a large degree.
We're going to assume that women will buy magazines that reflect the ideal body type.
And so what they say versus what they actually believe or what they fund or pay for is very, very different.
And women are most comfortable in their own skin.
If I could trade bodies with someone, I'd choose an...
I wouldn't trade athlete, celebrity, lingerie model, friend, runway model, influencer, or other.
And women said, I wouldn't trade.
I wouldn't trade bodies with someone.
25% or an athlete.
So 25% of women do not feel that their bodies could be improved.
All right. Character traits, right?
Traits women find the most sexy, right?
Which of these traits makes someone sexy?
Now that is very interesting because it's not entirely clear to me here Whether or not they're talking about men and women, or what women find attractive in men, or what men should find attractive in women, or whatever.
But traits women find the most sexy, which of these traits makes someone sexy, so I'm going to assume that they're talking about all of this sexiness across the spectrum.
And what makes men sexy is not the same as what makes women sexy.
Well, it used to be more differentiated after the welfare state, not so much.
Which of these traits makes someone sexy?
Confidence. Confidence.
Very, very high.
Not actual achievement, not reasonable pride or whatever.
And again, I don't know what the questions were.
Confidence, 65%.
Humor, 54%. Intelligence, 53%.
Kindness, 52%.
Strength, 38%.
Rebelliousness, 16%.
Wealth, 7%.
Again, we do have a bit of a test case here.
We can view what women say they find attractive versus what they actually find attractive.
And here, of course, we turn to the bible of dark and fairly twisted female sexuality known as Fifty Shades of Grey, the biggest and best-selling book of fairly close to kiddie porn in my view.
Rampant, self-abusive, quasi-sexuality on the planet.
So that's what women really find attractive.
Confidence. Well, I guess, what's his name?
Christian Grey. Christian Grey. Yeah, he's confident.
But he has reason to be confident in terms of his business acumen and his applets.
And humor. No, he's not a funny guy.
He's not a funny guy. Intelligence?
Yeah, he's intelligent. Is he kind?
No. Does he have wealth?
Of course. Of course.
I mean, it's not beating up your girlfriend if you have a helicopter, a penthouse, and you can play piano.
So it's funny because what's interesting is what women say they find attractive and kindness is right up there like it's tied for second place pretty much with humor and intelligence.
So humor and kindness No.
No, because that is a snapshot of female sexuality, is Fifty Shades of Grey, and anybody who pretends otherwise is just white knighting.
So, yeah, he's confident, but the fact that he's extraordinarily wealthy, and this is a huge turn-on for women, and then they only rate wealth at 7%, I don't know.
A majority of women have been body shamed.
Responses to, have you ever been body shamed?
Yes, 66.4%, no, 33.6%.
What does that mean, body shaming?
What does that mean? Does that mean that somebody has criticized something about your body?
I mean, I lost some weight about eight years ago.
I'd gotten a little heavy, and this is one of the reasons why I do my show standing up, and I even exercise even more, and I cut out chips, cookies, chocolate, sugar.
You know, basically when you get older, I'm past a half century now, when you get older, it's like watching a rocket trying to get to orbit, trying to get to old age.
You just got to discard, discard, discard.
Hey, I used to eat this, not going to eat it anymore.
Hey, I used to eat that, not going to eat anymore.
Now, no brand. It's just what happens.
It's the way you think, it's the way that you have to do because your metabolism is going to slow down the stuff you can eat when you're younger and you can't ever go back.
Okay, every now and then, I'll have a little bite of something or other, but for the most part, you have to change your life, your eating completely, and you can't go back in any way, shape, or form, and it's actually not that hard.
What is it? The old saying that nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
Not that I'm thin, but you know what I'm saying.
So body shaming, what does that mean?
Have you ever been body shamed?
That sounds personal, where of course it could be objective.
You're fat. Is that body shaming?
Or is that a statement of truth designed to help somebody to not be unhealthy?
I mean, fat, my God, talk about knees and joints.
Oh my gosh. Also, you know, the other thing too, a fat, why fat mother for your children?
Can she go and play?
I mean, listen, I mean, I'm an older father, and for me, twisting myself like Indian food through the lower intestine through the rabbit warrens of play centers was a bit of a challenge, and I'm pretty strong and healthy.
But if you have a fat mom, is she going to be able to play and exercise and run around with your kids?
Well, probably not.
Now, it's interesting, this body shaming thing.
Have you ever been body shamed?
So, big and beautiful, yes, 81%, no, 19%.
Voluptuous, 77%, yes, 23%, no.
Muscular, have you ever been body shamed for being muscular?
Women said yes, 68% of the time, no, 32%.
Curvy, 68%, 32%.
Athletic, which seems to me like a fairly ideal body type for a lot of the women's magazines, 59% of women say they've been body shamed, versus no, 41%.
And that is interesting as well.
No single type of woman ever fell below 50% in terms of body...
Shaming. And that's interesting.
Again, I'm not sure exactly what body shaming means other than someone said something critical about your body.
Well, you should hear all the boring comments about, oh, you're a bald guy and therefore you're old.
I mean, come on. I mean, this is a face shaming because you can't really see much about my body, but The face shaming is kind of ridiculous and sort of pointless.
Everyone thinks they're being so original by pointing out the fact that I don't have to do much preparation to do a show.
Bald is so efficient.
I did nothing today to get ready for this show.
And so if I had hair, that would be, you know, I just get to do...
How do you do so many shows?
Well, one of the ways I do so many shows is...
So it's interesting. I'm curious what everyone thinks about this and what your thoughts and experiences are with regards to your body, yourself, what works for you, what doesn't, how you feel in your own skin.
Like it really, really inviting. Tell me what you think about what I'm saying.
I'm really, really curious.
I do want people out there to have, you know, healthy, happy lives.
And so, you know, exercise and eat right and do all the good stuff that is required to get you to an old age where you're not a creaky bent bow of willow tree leaning over.
Do your Alexandra technique, do your stretching, do your yoga, do your exercise, do what's necessary to stay healthy and to stay strong.
And don't imagine that health is, you know, some kind of state of mind.
And don't imagine that sexiness is an attitude.
No. Sexiness is fertility markers, both for men and for women.
They differ between the two.
And don't be sold the lie that you can define sexiness for yourself.
You can't define height or wealth just for yourself.
Well, you can if you're the Fed, I guess.
Let me know what you think below. I'm curious.
It's a new topic, something I think about from time to time, and I'm curious what you guys think.
Thanks, of course, a lot so much for listening and for watching.
