3284 Instinctual Vag!na Management - Call In Show - May 6th, 2016
Introduction: [1:59] - London Elects Muslim Mayor Sadiq KhanQuestion 1: [13:00] - “I'm a 41-year-old white single female who was a ‘bad girl’ in her 20s. I had an absent father, but raised by a loving Christian mom. I've struggled to see how I ended up this way because it went against my core self. Can you help me identify the familial and societal reasons I ended up on this dead end in my personal life, and in the process, maybe help some younger women avoid the same trap?”Question 2: [1:59:29] - “As an aspiring filmmaker with an especial hatred of SJWs, I realize that my views will not be particularly popular and may even prevent me from rising through the ranks and becoming successful in Hollywood. I understand that submitting to SJWs is the worst thing someone can do for themselves, but for the sake of success, should I, if only temporarily?”Question 3: [2:34:14] - “I'm a second generation immigrant born in the U.S. I've lived here my whole life, I speak English, at a glance I am virtually indistinguishable among peers and my family has effectively integrated. But despite it all, I don't feel like I belong, especially among my peers, why do I feel like this?”Freedomain Radio is 100% funded by viewers like you. Please support the show by signing up for a monthly subscription or making a one time donation at: http://www.freedomainradio.com/donate
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So three great callers tonight.
41-year-old, single, white, female.
And she was, by her own description, a bad, bad, bad girl.
In her 20s, she had an absent father, but was raised by a loving Christian mom.
She's trying to figure out what went wrong with her life.
How did she end up alone, childless, in her early 40s?
And she wants to talk about her life to help other women, in particular, avoid the same disastrous trap.
And what a conversation we had.
It was quite something.
Second caller, well, he wants to get into film.
But he doesn't like lefties, so he wants to make films, doesn't like lefties, especially social justice warriors.
And we talked about some filmmakers, Stanley Kubrick in particular, and I shared some of my own artistic endeavors and a short chapter from my novel, The God of Atheists, and we had a discussion about whether you can make it if you're not a lefty in the media industry.
And the last caller, second generation immigrant born in the US, lived in the US his whole life, speaks English, pretty indistinguishable from everyone else, but he doesn't feel like he belongs at all, especially amongst his own peers.
And he had some questions as to why that would be the case.
And yeah, I pretty much hit a bullseye with the answer.
Alright, so just before we start, the news came down today that London, which is where I grew up from, fairly shortly after I was born in Athlone, Ireland, I grew up in London and lived there until I was 11, and London has just elected its first Muslim mayor.
Now, this guy, I don't know a huge amount about him, Sadiq Khan, well, he's In 2001, he was the lawyer for the Nation of Islam and its successful High Court bid to overturn the 15-year ban on its leader, Louis Farrakhan.
In 2005 and 2008, he visited terror-charged Baba Ahmed in Woodhill Prison.
He was extradited to the US in 2012, serving time in prison before being returned to the UK in 2015.
And he campaigned for the release and repatriation of Britain's last Guantanamo detainee returned to the UK in November.
And London, the city I grew up in, now has about 50% of the inhabitants are foreign-born.
And I will say this, white people, you really need to listen to this.
When I was in high school, a friend of mine got involved in a political campaign.
And the details aren't particularly relevant, but there was one Indian fellow from India, that kind of Indian, and he was running for office.
And I was down there observing, watching democracy in action.
And I saw busload after busload of elderly Indian men and women coming out.
Couldn't hear a word of English coming from them.
And all of these young Indian men were running up and down, telling these people, vote here, vote here, vote here, vote for this guy, vote for this guy, vote for this guy.
They didn't, of course, have any clue.
I would imagine what the policies were, what his platform was.
They only knew one thing.
They knew that the color of his skin was the same as the color of their skin.
And that is a very, very important thing to understand.
All they voted for was skin color.
And all of that associated culture, history, perhaps religiosity, who knows?
They voted for him because he was of their race.
In America, 95, 97, 98% of blacks voted for Obama for pretty much the same reason.
Now, white people have been involved in this experiment for the past 50 or 60 years.
And the experiment goes something like this.
We as white people will set aside all of our in-group preferences, all of our tribalistic in-group preferences, to facilitate a multicultural group.
Which means we are going to put principles above tribalism.
We are not going to have any in-group preferences.
In fact, the pendulum has swung so far the other way.
That whites now, in fact, have an anti-in-group preference in that they will vote for somebody who's not white in order to prove that they're not racist or not bigoted or to get on the multi-cult train.
And I will tell you this.
In any conflict between two groups, one group has a strong in-group preference and the other group doesn't.
The group with the strong in-group preference will win.
Would I like it?
If we could get to a genuinely post-racial society?
I sure would.
I really would.
But it's not happening.
When England voted to, or it ended up being in front of Parliament, to vote to ban Donald Trump from the UK after he proposed limiting Muslim immigration into the US, I did the research at the time, and the regions which We're strongest in opposing Donald Trump.
We're Muslim regions in the UK. It's still a strange thing for me to say.
And I haven't seen the research.
But I bet it's out there.
And if you can find it, please post it in the comments below.
But just off the top of your head, What percentage of Muslims do you think voted for the Muslim mayor?
And what percentage of Muslims do you think voted for the white guy?
You can go look it up if you want.
But if the data is not there, I think we all know the answer to that one.
In any conflict between two groups, one group has an in-group preference, And the other group doesn't.
The in-group preference group will always win.
To understand this in a visceral way, well, what the heck?
I'll even use a British analogy.
Soccer, or football as it's known in England, is the game where you kick balls around and try and get it into the other team's net.
Now, imagine you have two teams.
The C team and the M team.
Now, the C team will pass to everyone.
But the M team will only pass to themselves.
In fact, the C team will pass to the M team more often than it passes to the C team.
So I've got the ball.
You pass it to the other team.
More often even than you pass it to your own team.
Whereas the M team will only pass to their own players.
Now you don't have to know a lot about sports to know which team is gonna win.
White culture, since the days of Socrates, even the pre-Socratics, has been focused on trying to develop universal ethics.
Universal ethics.
And White culture is generally alone in that, in that other cultures generally have very strong in-group preferences.
In other words, us good, them bad.
We good, you bad.
You think of Judaism with the goyim, you think of Islam with the kafirs.
It's all over.
The untouchables in India, the caste system.
These two systems cannot mix.
Universalism and in-group preferences cannot mix.
Because every time these two groups conflict, come into conflict, the in-group preference team will win.
Because they don't pass to the other side.
So they don't lose control of the ball, the state, the political power, the media, the culture, the narrative.
I last traveled.
Thank you.
To England, I guess about 15 years ago, I was working on a novel that was set in the British countryside and I wanted to go and observe and absorb and all of that.
So I rented a cottage and it was lovely.
It was lovely.
lovely.
I will never be able to go home again.
My history has been torn out by the roots I was going to, my wife is a Greek, and I was a Greek background, and we were going to go and visit Europe this summer.
I wanted to visit the famous spots of Greek philosophy.
We wanted to visit Ireland, or it is known these days the Emerald Isle of Somalia.
And we were going to visit London, England, where I grew up.
I will not.
We will not, and Europe needs to know this.
I've talked to a lot of people, and a lot of people I've talked to say, not going.
Not going.
There is a boycott of Europe going on at the moment.
For reasons that Europeans in their heart of hearts, perhaps in their two o'clock wake-ups and their growing panic that is crashing into the politically correct fears of being a bigot, a racist, of being alienated by the other.
The Europeans know why.
I can't go back.
And...
That's a real shame.
It's a real shame.
British culture has endured for at least 2,000 years, you could argue, going back further.
And it's not over.
But there is a time for calm and there is a time to not be calm.
I think you know which time it is now.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Let's move on with the calls.
Alright, well up first today we have Anne.
Anne wrote into the show and said, I'm a 41-year-old single white female who was a bad girl in her 20s.
I had an absent father but was raised by a loving Christian mom.
I've struggled to see how I've even ended up this way because it went against my core self.
Can you help me identify the familial and societal reasons I ended up in this dead end within my personal life, and in the process, maybe help some younger women avoid the same trap?
That's from Anne.
Well, hi, Anne.
How are you doing tonight?
I'm good.
How are you, Stefan?
I am ambivalent, but I am focused on you, the caller.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Is there more that you wanted to add?
I mean, it sounds like quite the miniseries back there.
That was a really, really shortened summary.
Yeah, I don't know kind of what went wrong in my life and how I ended up where I did.
I was also an only child.
I didn't want kids ever.
I was always a very intellectual child.
I was gifted.
I was top of the class.
I had everything going for me, basically, except that I didn't have my father in my life.
My mom and him were married, and they were married when she had me.
They were married for nine years, but they divorced when I was three, so I don't have any actual memories of him.
He did visit me once when I was 14, but that really didn't mean much to me.
What the hell happened?
My mom's a really caring person, and...
Oh, gosh.
Please, let's not start with the propaganda quite yet, okay?
Just give me the facts.
Don't give me the sunshine up the butt stuff yet, okay?
I mean, I just, you know, like the moment I say what happened, you're like, oh, my mom's great.
It's like, no, no, come on.
Let's just start with the facts.
If she was great, why did you grow up without a dad?
So let's just go with the facts, all right?
Well, she...
She was, you know, in her 20s, and she met my dad, who was, I believe, already in another relationship with somebody, but of course, he promised her the world, and He wanted to marry my mom.
Basically, my dad, and this is, of course, only going from what my mom has told me, because I have no other source, is that he was kind of a moocher.
He would latch onto a woman that would take care of him, including, I'm not just saying housework and everything, I'm saying, you know, Make money outside the home, raise the kid, do this, do that.
He would find women like that.
And he was married like, I think three times, including my mom, and he has three other kids to other mothers.
So what you're telling me, this is all shorthand for he's very good looking.
You know, I guess he would have been considered good-looking back then.
I have a picture of him.
Yeah, he was good-looking.
The only fault he had was he was short.
He was about 5'6".
But, you know, I guess.
Well, what makes up for the fact that he's...
A little loose with his penis, kind of like a boomerang, right?
Except it doesn't come back that often.
So why?
Why would he get so many women with him?
Well, that is probably part of it.
And also talking from extended family on his side, I think he was a very manipulative personality type.
He was...
What I would consider...
Okay, so that's a negative.
Sorry to interrupt, but I'm looking for a positive here.
Well, I mean, it was positive for him is that he knew how to reel them in.
No, but there has to be some reason why people fall for the manipulation.
Right?
There has to be some...
Like, the manipulation, you could say, is the hook, but there's something on the hook that makes the fish bite the hook, right?
Yeah.
I think in my mom's case, she was raised by some very, I don't know, authoritarian parents is probably the best term to use.
And as she was getting older, she wanted to get away from that.
And she met him and it was sort of like, the answer to my problems and I can get away from my parents who are breathing down my neck and being strict and There's tons of guys.
Was your mom, like, did she have a hump?
No.
Did she have, like, a third nasal passage that came out of her cheek?
No, my mom's very attractive.
Okay, so your mom's very attractive.
So basically, since your mom was very attractive, she had her choice.
So why is she choosing Wonder Dwarf?
I wish I knew the answer to that question.
I don't know.
I think she was naive in her early 20s.
I mean, that is my...
Oh, man.
You are.
Oh, female in-group preference plus parental propaganda.
Okay.
I'm suiting up here.
You're getting all ready to roll.
But I just don't have the whole story.
You don't have anything.
The story.
But I was...
Why are you here?
It had something to do with the fact that your mother was really attracted to your father and she decided to get married to him even though she stole him heartlessly out of another woman's arms.
Okay.
You said he was in another relationship when he met your mom.
So he cheated on his ex to be with your mom.
And shockingly, he turned out to be unreliable.
That's as predictable as Sunrise, right?
Yeah.
I mean, believe me, my mom admits that it was a mistake.
I just don't even know if she knew.
Yeah, I'd have to put her on the phone.
Of course it was a mistake.
Not that you are.
Glad to be talking to you.
Otherwise it would sound kind of weird.
But the question is...
How did the mistake come about, right?
I mean, as parents, right?
I mean, you're a parent, right?
And as parents, we don't want our children to repeat our mistakes.
And the way that we do that is figure out what the hell happened.
Yeah.
And you don't have a clue.
Which means that your mother has...
Either your mother doesn't have a clue, or she has a clue but hasn't told you.
Well, it's possible.
Yeah.
Because you don't want to end up being taken in.
I guess maybe you were.
We'll get to that in a sec.
Yeah.
But the question is, how did your mother end up with...
A truly, and I hate to put it this bluntly, but a truly shitty father for her children.
I mean, that's terrible.
I know.
Hung around for a couple of years and then didn't even orbit.
Like, he went deep space, right?
He went interstellar.
He was gone, baby gone.
That is a shitty father for your children.
So the question is, how did your mother end up with such a shitty father for her children?
Um...
Only she could answer that.
No, you've known her for years.
You must have some clue.
I mean, I really truly think it was part...
I mean, I know you're going to say I'm apologizing for her, but I feel she was naive.
She was taken in by his charismatic personality, his looks, I'm sure that had part to do with it, and her desire to get away from my grandparents and be on her own, away from their authoritarianness.
And she couldn't achieve any independence without clinging on to a, what, a very charming garden gnome?
I don't know what her other options were back then.
Moving out, getting a job.
There's lots of options for women.
You know, it's this year, you know.
I mean, you're not that old.
No, she worked.
She worked.
She was working.
Okay, so she didn't need a guy.
No, she didn't need one.
She must have had an emotional void.
And, okay, this gives me sort of an idea.
Because I would say her dad, my grandfather, he was a very stoic personality.
He was not warm and fuzzy.
He might not have given her that male...
Role model or companionship she desired and maybe she was just desperate for that.
That's just the way he was.
Okay, but let's say that this sounds like a real shot in the dark.
because he just sounds like a guy to me.
But even if this was the case, Anne, and the reason, because we need to figure this stuff out to some degree if we're going to get to you and your youth, right?
I mean, in my opinion.
But even if we accept all of that's true, that she had a desperate longing for male companionship, well, hello, that's why there are people in the world.
We all have a desperate longing for romantic love, hopefully with people whose parts fit together like two complementary pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, making a new jigsaw puzzle.
But the fact that she had a strong urge to be with a man, all right, fine.
But the question is, why that man?
Were there no men around who were not already in a relationship?
I know.
I get what you're saying and I don't know the answer to that because I only really ever asked her like, you know, what my dad was like.
I never asked her, well, why didn't you pick somebody else or wasn't there other?
My question is, why hasn't she told you?
I don't know.
Why didn't she tell you, you know, look, obviously nobody wants, no parent wants to look at the kid and say, well, I chose a really bad dad for you and I'm really sorry about that and here's what happened.
But Well, she admits that.
I mean, she said, you know, she admits that.
Yeah, but that doesn't help you know what triggered it or what the cause was or what the susceptibility was.
Right.
No, I don't know her psychology about this.
I don't.
Well, I'll just hold on.
You give her a call and we'll just wait here.
Okay, so...
Wait, we'll patch her in.
Do we have her number?
I'm just kidding.
I would do it.
I mean, if you want me to pause and go talk to her and come back, I will ask her a specific question.
Is she there now?
Yeah, I actually live with her.
But I don't want her in on the conversation because the rest of it is too personal for me.
Okay, all right.
Well...
I tell you what, let's get you back after you've had the conversation, but let's continue on with what we're talking about now.
Okay.
But this is important.
I mean, this is important because, and I just say this to parents as a whole, you need to teach your kids what you did wrong so they don't repeat the mistakes because you are now...
A mess.
A mess.
Right.
And are you a mess because you chose the wrong guys?
I do admit that I chose the wrong guys.
I'll give you some background of how my relationship history progressed.
Basically, the first guy I was with, the guy I lost my virginity to when I was 15, he Ended up stalking.
After I broke up with him six months later, he ended up stalking me for a couple years.
This threw me into a massive amount of anxiety, depression, and turmoil.
Just stalking runs the gamut from he's showing up a lot at the bar.
To like, he's in my closet at 4 o'clock in the morning.
What are we talking here?
What he did was, well, he lived three doors down from us.
And he would sit on his porch and he could see our house from his house.
And I walked everywhere at that age.
And so he would wait till I left the house.
If he would follow me around the neighborhood, he was in school with me.
And if he had a class with me or saw me in the hallway, he would call me slut and this and that and ruin my self-esteem in front of other people, humiliate me.
Um, my mom was at work, so I would come home to an empty house and he would call the house over and over and over again.
It was psychological warfare, basically.
Um, he did threaten to kill me one time, um, although I only found out secondhand because a friend told me and said he was like, I talked him out of walking up to your house and shooting you with his dad's gun.
So, um...
Okay, let's not laugh about this.
No, I know.
I know it's not funny.
It's not, believe me.
It was terrible.
And were there any signs of this lunatic behavior when you were dating him, before you slept with him?
I just knew that he...
The strange thing is, I wasn't even physically attracted to him, but I went out with him because he kept...
Even though he was not attractive, and he was giving me a lot of attention and...
And being nice to me and the kids in the neighborhood were like, give him a chance, give him a chance.
And I reluctantly got into the relationship with him.
And the whole sex thing, I didn't even want to have sex with him.
I did it for this bizarre reason because I felt extremely adult in my mind at age 15 and I felt like That if I didn't have sex, I was not a true adult.
And I wanted to put childhood behind me and be an adult.
And so that was really the only reason.
Right, okay.
And you understand that growing up without a father, that is the natural pattern, right?
You generally...
Epigenetically tend towards being our selected, early promiscuity, lack of boundaries, and a desire to latch onto a man, or a boy, I guess in this case.
So that is the effect of growing up without a father in general.
I've read about that, but I don't understand the reasons why.
And that's what I'm hoping to get to in this conversation and hopefully help other girls without fathers because I don't want this to happen to another woman.
Right.
I just don't understand the psychological reasons.
I don't get it.
Well, it's not just psychological.
It's...
It's epigenetic, which means it's biological.
Like in general, girls who grow up without fathers, they get their periods a year earlier.
Okay.
Than girls who grow up with fathers.
When you grow up without a father, your body starts programming you for a dangerous, violent, gynocentric world.
Because your body says, no dad around.
That must mean there's war.
Or there's no investment in children from the fathers.
Mm-hmm.
And so what that means is, let's say that, and for white people, it's generally war.
So your body is like, okay, so there's war going on, there's famine, there's disease, there's something that's taking out people randomly.
So what I'm going to need to do in order to reproduce in a dangerous or unstable or uncertain environment, you try and have kids as soon as possible.
Wow, I didn't know that.
Yeah, it's quantity over quality.
And when animals are in danger, they generally tell, like prey species, like rabbits, they have tons of kids.
Because they can't tell when the next hawk or fox or wolf is going to come along and just eat them up.
So they strive to have sex as early as possible, as often as possible.
They have as many kids as possible.
And they almost invest almost nothing into those kids.
Because it's just, yeah, you know, just like it's the tadpole or the oyster.
You know, versus the polar bear or the wolf or the predator species have far fewer children and they have to teach them how to hunt.
They have to teach them how to really invest.
And so if you grow up without a father, you grow up with the characteristics of a prey species, which is early compulsive sexuality, early menstruation, boy craziness.
And it is a wild...
I'll give you some of the facts and, you know, we'll...
Put our sources.
So fathers, we emit pheronomes, which is not just Latin for Indian food-fueled farts, but these are airborne chemical signals, right?
And airborne chemical signals called pheronomes, they trigger physiological and behavioral behaviors, right?
Male pheronomes have different effects on young females.
Exposure to the pheronomes of biological fathers appears to slow down puberty in girls.
While exposure to the pharognomes of unrelated adult males speeds up puberty.
You understand?
Yes.
If your dad's around, puberty slows down, comes later.
If men are around who aren't your father, your body is like, oh, okay, so we're not pair bonding, either because the men don't care or there's a huge amount of danger.
Men are in short supply, so we better have as many kids as possible because it's not a stable environment.
If there's no dad around, it's not a stable environment and your body responds...
Now, you were, appropriately, a recent Australian study found that having older brothers can also delay the onset of puberty in girls.
The more older brothers a woman has, the older she is when she gets her first period.
You, of course, were an only child.
Boys whose fathers are absent are more likely to reach puberty at a later age.
That's the opposite of girls.
Despite reaching puberty later, they are more likely to become fathers at an earlier age.
So, it's biology and it's our...
Genes struggling to understand the environment and to adjust our reproductive strategy appropriate to the level of stability in our environment.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
I'm glad I'm talking to you because I didn't know this.
I never heard of this.
No, of course.
Of course.
I mean, there's lots of reasons why we don't know this stuff.
So after accounting for a set of parental involvement variables, adolescents living with two biological parents were significantly less likely to transition into sexual activity when compared to adolescents from all other family structures.
Adolescents from other family structures, right, other than two biological parents, were between 40% and 198% more likely to enter into sexual activity than adolescents living with two biological parents.
Now, we'll get to...
This crazy boy in a sec.
Okay.
For adolescent females, each year spent in a single parent household from birth to 11 years old increased the likelihood they would engage in sexual intercourse during adolescence by approximately 8%, right?
So you said from 3 to 11 years old.
So that's 8 years times 8, 64%.
So you were 64% more likely to engage in sexual intercourse during adolescence because you didn't have a biological father's pharonyms.
Father absence is an environmental toxin.
That doesn't mean you're poisoned, right?
I'm just saying that it has an effect on your biology.
We've got a presentation we'll link to below, The Truth About Single Moms.
And Paul Rayburn, I did an interview with him, he's got a book called Do Fathers Matter?
What Science is Telling Us About the Parent We've Overlooked, right?
You know that old phrase, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
Well, it's, you know, usual feminist claptrap and Marxist claptrap.
the reality is that you were biologically programmed for what happened.
That doesn't mean that there's no choice, no free will, it's not an inevitability, but certainly in the absence of this kind of knowledge, it's even more likely that this is going to go down, right?
Right, and unfortunately...
Because this is the, excuse me, this is the screwed up thing about single moms and single dads too, if they do this too.
If you are raising a child without a father, what you need to do is look up the effects of raising a child without a father so that you can teach your children about the risk factors involved in being raised without a father.
And the risk factors are enormous.
Criminality, promiscuity, getting involved with unstable people like this 15-year-old stalky lunatic fellow, drug addiction, alcoholism, cigarette smoking, wide variety of dysfunctional behaviors, antisocial behavior, all of these associated with growing up without a dad.
This information has been out for decades.
Single moms are not doing the 10-minute Google search to say, huh, no parent, no daddy around.
I wonder what effect that's going to have on the kids.
I better find out.
Oh, no, we're all just concerned about ALAR in apples and BPA in bottles, but we don't ever look up what happens to children without fathers.
And I'm sorry that your mother didn't do that.
I'm sorry that my mother didn't do that.
But these seem to be the facts.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I think she, you know, she probably thought that her raising me Christian was probably going to counteract some of that, but where she went...
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus don't do pharognomes.
No, I know.
He does incense.
He'll give you some incense, maybe a couple of wafers, but he don't do pharognomes, so it does not interfere with, or it does not delay menses.
Right.
And also, sex was always a taboo subject, and because of her religiousness, it was hard to talk to her about that, and it made me feel very uncomfortable, so I felt like I was on my own there.
I'm sorry, her religiousness.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, I'm a little confused, because didn't she get divorced?
Yeah, yeah, she did.
Was that not against her religious vows, that she swore a solemn oath to love, honor, and obey in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until death do they part?
In a church before the eyes of God?
Well, you know, everyone...
Oh, that's inconvenient religiosity.
People take it to whatever degree they want.
Yeah, I know.
Okay, so let's not blame it on religion, okay?
Okay.
Because people always say, well, there was this religiosity, you know, like this woman...
From Mexico, talk about what a religious guy, this, who knocked her up and didn't tell her the condom broke or whatever, right?
So, let's not blame religion for this kind of behavior, because it clearly was not a consistently applied ethic, to put it mildly.
No, and I wouldn't.
I'm not going to blame religion.
I'm just trying to think how she might have thought.
You tried.
I actually consider myself a Christian.
Yeah.
And, you know, I think that's great.
In which case, you should not blame God for your mother selectively applying, you know...
Her religious preferences.
Right.
No, I don't.
And I think she should have divorced my dad.
I don't think she should have stuck with him.
And why should she have divorced your dad?
Because he was a jerk.
No, no.
That's why you don't have children with him.
I'm not sure why after you have children with him, you would divorce him for that.
You know, if you can put up with a jerk for five years, why not 50?
If you want to have sex with a jerk for five years, why not 50?
Like, what happened?
Well, he was, I mean, number one, he was just plain lazy.
Now, I'm going off of her, this is what she's told me, so it's all secondhand knowledge, but, you know, he would be this guy that would sleep till noon, he would be, quote, self-employed as like a fuller brush man, or amway.
What?
He's a seeker.
He's a drummer.
He had delusions of grandeur.
I actually can verify that because he would send me some letters that sounded like they were written by a crazy person.
Like, he would promise me the world, like, I'm going to buy you a Cadillac for your 16th birthday.
But I knew that was impossible because he was living four miles away and delivering pizza, or four hours away and delivering pizzas.
Wait a minute.
Hang on, hang on.
Oh, my God.
I know.
Hang on.
I'm sorry.
I forgot to put on my crash helmet.
Okay.
Okay.
My dad lived in South Africa, and I still saw him every year or two or three.
Yeah.
Your dad lived...
I'm sorry, could you just remind me?
Four hours.
How many miles away?
A four-hour drive.
About a four-hour drive?
Yeah.
Four-hour drive away.
Sorry, I thought you said four miles.
Okay, four-hour drive away.
Yeah.
And you saw him once.
Correct.
My mom did not...
Now, we know he had a car, unless he's delivering pizza on camel...
I believe he did, yeah.
But he just didn't care.
Well, hang on, hang on.
Was he paying child support?
No, he never paid a dime.
And my mom, I think back then the laws were not quite as strict.
Oh no, they were.
They've been pretty strict for a while.
I know that from my mom.
I don't know.
I was born in 75, but I'm older than you.
I'm not sure.
She may not have pursued it, probably thinking that it wouldn't be worth it.
What, are we going to live on pizza?
I don't know.
But yeah, he did not pay child support.
Did anyone not pick up her pizza dad?
Can we eat today?
Yeah.
Okay, so how long did she go out with him before they got married?
I think they were probably together for at least a year, six months to a year before they got married.
So she may have reeled him out of another relationship and married him within six months.
Yes, but...
How big was this guy's penis?
Are we talking like a rowboat?
I don't know and I don't want to know, but...
I don't know.
I'm trying to find the hook here, but okay.
He's lazy.
He's short.
He's in another relationship.
Did he have other kids before you?
Yes.
Oh!
Yes, yes.
Hey, you should be talking to my mom on this.
Hang on, I'm not done.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm not done, but I will continue.
Okay, go ahead.
I'm doing this inside my head.
It's like the Grand Canyon of Banshee shredding in here.
Sorry.
Sorry.
No, you don't have to apologize.
I'm glad you're here.
I just don't understand how it happened.
He's lazy.
He's underemployed.
He's a dreamer.
He's insane.
He's tiny.
And he has other children, and he's in another relationship.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is he Satan?
Does he cast voodoo spells?
I don't know.
Did he kidnap another sibling you don't know about in order?
Like, what the?
What the hell?
I don't know, but he didn't seem to have a problem getting women being married three times.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I'm sorry, I'm going to sound like a tea kettle for 20 minutes and then we'll catch you.
God, does this not make you, like, what the hell is wrong with women?
I don't know.
I mean, I know some, but...
Did he have a full head of hair, at least?
He did.
He had very good hair.
He had excellent hair.
So happy I'm bald.
No, it keeps the crazy women away.
Oh, he's low status.
Thanks, Jennifer Anderson.
You go get married to someone else.
And it's efficient.
Look, I'm ready.
God almighty.
Was he, I mean, was he muscly?
No, not if he's lazy and sleeping until noon, right?
No, I don't think he was.
No, he wasn't like Mr.
And he had a mustache.
I mean, it was the 70s.
No, he didn't.
He was clean shaven.
Wow.
Wow.
I mean, you couldn't have a more clear set of signals that this guy's a shitty dad, right?
Yeah.
And he's just like, yeah, let's have some kids!
All these women lining up!
Lining up!
I mean, I will say my mom did not have me until she was six years into the marriage, so...
She at least delayed it.
Oh, no, you didn't.
What?
No, you didn't.
You didn't just go there, did you?
What are you, just feeding me raw meat here?
I thought you were going to like me, Stefan.
I'm sorry.
I do like you.
I am very happy to be having this conversation.
I do like you, and I appreciate you having this conversation.
I'm enjoying myself thoroughly in a nihilistic, end-of-the-empire kind of way.
All right.
Okay.
Because you're sort of, are you defending me?
Sorry, are you defending your mom by saying something along the lines of, well, she had six years to figure out he was a lazy, good-for-nothing guy, and then she had a kid.
Well, I'm not defending her, but I mean, she did.
You are.
Okay, well.
Yes.
I can't help, well, in some ways I can't help it because she is my rock.
She's been the only study person Parental figure throughout my entire life.
I love her.
She's done everything she could possibly do for me.
I mean...
No, no.
I'm not taking parental propaganda tonight.
Okay.
Okay.
Because if she had done everything she possibly could have done for you, would your life have ended up in a mess?
No, but I also have to take personal responsibility.
I can't blame it all on her.
Okay.
Then if you're going to take personal responsibility, how about giving mom some?
Okay.
All right.
No, she's not perfect.
I know that.
So she knew that this guy...
Was a terrible dad.
Was going to be a terrible dad.
She actually told me she had planned on divorcing him right before she got pregnant with me.
Oh, no.
Did we have another, oops, felon dick situations?
I don't think I was, well, I don't think I was planned, but I don't think I was unplanned.
It was, yeah.
No, no.
Unplanned is planned.
Okay.
Seriously, like if I'm going to sit there playing Russian roulette with a revolver, Spin!
Click!
Spin!
Click!
Spin!
Right.
Well, it wasn't planned.
It wasn't suicide.
I mean, it wasn't planned, but it wasn't...
Yes, it was planned.
Okay.
Unprotected sex is planning to have a kid.
Yeah, we know what happens.
There are 17 different methods of birth control, not even counting non-vaginal forms of sexuality.
So, yeah.
So she planned on divorcing this guy, and she wanted a kid.
And she did tell me also that, you know, before she got married, she had thought that one day she, you know, she would marry and have four kids.
Like, she wanted a bigger family.
So, yeah, that was...
Sorry to interrupt, but since she was a kid, she wanted a bigger family?
Yeah, she said she'd always wanted to grow up.
Because, you know, if you want a big family, the best guy to do it with is a guy who has no job and sleeps till noon because he's just a fantastic provider.
What was she going to do?
Cut him up and sell him for parts?
Was she going to feed him children, his fingers and toes?
I mean, what the hell was the plan?
I'd like a lot of kids.
Well, that takes a lot of money.
Let's go with the unemployed guy who sleeps till noon.
I know.
I agree.
It doesn't make sense.
I swear to God.
It's okay.
So, just the other day, I was watching...
Actually, a little while back ago, I was watching an old movie.
I don't know if you watched it when you were a kid.
It's pretty old school.
It's called Old Yeller.
I know of it, but I've never watched it because it would probably make me cry.
Well, A, it will.
Okay.
And B, you'll get to know what the meaning of the word hydrophobe is, which I think Churchill said that Islam was to a man as hydrophobe, which is rabies, is to a dog.
But this guy...
It's like, you know, I don't know, 1860s in the West.
And this guy goes off to do halala, whatever.
And the woman is like alone with two children in the middle of nowhere with bears and lions and tigers, oh my, for months.
And she's great.
She's chopping wood.
She's taking care of the kids.
She's wrestling bacon or whatever the hell they do in the middle of nowhere.
And, I mean, women, Western women used to be like these smart, sensible rocks.
You know, like I grew up on a steady diet of Enid Blyton books.
And Enid Blyton books, she wrote like 400 books.
She basically was a photocopier.
And it's true, some of the plots do blend a little.
And I'm reading them again to my daughter.
And it's like, wow, these are smart, sensible, solid, salt-of-the-earth women who generally make good decisions and are wise.
Mm-hmm.
And I don't know what happened.
Is it the pill, plus leftism, plus statism, plus welfare state?
I don't know.
But it's like women have gone mental.
Yeah.
I don't even know if they know it.
I can't disagree with you.
Oh, good.
Okay, I'm glad I'm not offending you because it's just pretty true to me.
No, you're not.
No, I know, like, a lot of, of course, I know a lot of women.
I have a lot of women friends, and I know what some of the faults are that we have.
I totally agree with you on a lot of, you know, what women do wrong kind of things.
And I know I'm guilty as well, so...
Well, guilty, I don't know about that yet, because, I mean, a lot of information has been held.
It's like the entire West just took the accumulated wisdom of 2,000 years and set fire to it and said, yeah, let's just start from scratch, blindfolded, at high speed.
Yeah.
Because, for instance, in the past, if a man has no education, no job, other children...
And is not a good father to them and is currently in a relationship, you don't marry him.
This was not brain surgery.
This was, you can see these stories going back hundreds if not thousands of years.
This was not, like in hindsight you can see, that's not a really tough one.
It wasn't like, wow, you know, he was a banker, he had an office, a Lamborghini, and a business card, and I phoned him at work, but it turned out it was an elaborate Truman Show-style hoax, and the entire planet was made up in the mind of God.
Like, I mean, this was not a tough one to figure out, whether he'd be a good dad or not, right?
No.
The only other redeeming quality he had was he was a good singer.
Well, that's all right then.
Can you sing?
I can do karaoke, but not that well.
Okay, so even that didn't count.
You know, if you ended up like Celine Dion, you'd be like, okay, well, he was a dirtbag, but at least...
Right, so, but that's not...
No, no, no.
All right.
Okay, so the 15-year-old stalker, your limpet mine, what was his family like?
He had a mom and a dad and two sisters, and he was the only son.
He was a virgin as well.
When I broke it off with him, he just completely went off the deep end and felt that he was never going to find somebody like me again.
Why, I don't know.
Okay, you've given me the head count of the family, but no sense of the dynamics in it?
It was a little dysfunctional.
It was a lot dysfunctional.
Stalkers don't come from Ward Cleaver's house, okay?
Right.
Yeah, they had a dysfunctional family, but in what way, I can't really tell you.
I don't know.
So you lost your virginity to a guy, and you had no idea really what his family life was like.
Only on a surface basis.
You don't know what the family life was like.
You knew it was dysfunctional, but I'm asking you now, 24 years after the fact, 26 years after the fact, and you don't know what his family life was like.
So that's highly risky behavior, getting involved with someone without knowing their background.
Correct.
And this is things that a dad would tell you.
I don't know why moms have stopped doing this, but dads sure as hell would.
If you were my daughter, I'd be like, Okay, you want to date this guy?
Okay.
Let's have his family over for tea, and let's go over to their house for tea, and let's observe them in their natural environment and see how they're doing.
And after I would observe them in their natural environment, I would nail your bedroom door shut until you were 80.
Yeah.
With you in it, by the way, just as a detail.
It'd be confusing.
How were you so unattended that you managed to lose your virginity at 15?
Where was your mom?
She was at work, and I was a latchkey kid.
Ah, so you were a latchkey kid, unsupervised.
Yes, yes.
Excellent.
And I would even sneak out of the house at 2 o'clock in the morning and go sit on the back porch and drink lots of alcohol with, you know, the neighbor kids.
You know, I wasn't...
Currently not recommended in Sweden.
Anyway, go on.
Yeah, it was like I really started to rebel against the values she tried to instill in me as a child around 15.
And it was like, I'm going my own way and you're not going to tell me what to do anymore.
And she couldn't ground me.
I wouldn't listen to her.
She had no authority.
Why did you have such contempt for her?
Um, because I felt...
She's a worrier.
She's a control freak.
And I have to admit, I have taken some of that from her.
Not as bad.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Sorry to interrupt you just as you're starting.
Yes.
She's a worrier?
Yes.
So she was worried that bad things might happen to you?
Yeah.
You know, like, say, having a psycho stalker on your tail?
Yeah.
So did she know you had a boyfriend?
She did, yeah.
And did she do anything to vet this guy?
Or his family?
I know that she had met his parents, and I was friends with his sister, one of his sisters.
And, you know, he was always pleasant around her.
I mean, you know, people can put on a good front.
It was only that...
Not really.
Well, I don't know.
No, everyone says that, but that's just because...
You've been rendered immune to the signs by having them everywhere when you're growing up.
Yeah.
I guess it's asking a little bit much, asking the woman who married your dad to be a judge of character, right?
Yeah, my mom really tries to give everyone a chance.
Like, you know, even if they just walked out of jail, she will be, you know, if they're nice to her, she's like, oh, come in for tea and cookies.
You know, she's just like that kind of person.
So, yeah, she has no boundaries, no sense of protection, and therefore migrant crisis.
Okay, so...
So she basically you had a boyfriend at the age of 15.
You were unsupervised.
She didn't know anything about his family.
You still don't really know much about his family.
So she wasn't really worrying that much or she wasn't really worrying that effectively.
Now, when you got the stalker, what happened?
You told your mom, I assume.
Yes.
And what did she do?
She tried talking to his parents, but of course they wanted to take his side.
He even took it so far as to completely humiliate me in front of my mom by And there was this little meeting arranged where his mom came over with him to our house and sat down with me and my mom.
And he proceeded to sit there and cry.
And, oh, by the way, you know, we used one of your condoms in your drawer, meaning my mom's.
He said to your mom, we used a condom from your drawer when I... Had sex with your...
Right.
...15-year-old daughter?
Right.
It was, yeah.
And T. Millie ate me, yes.
Yeah.
It was pretty rough.
And...
And then what?
Well, I mean, nothing really came of this whole, like, get-together meet.
What do you mean, nothing came?
What does this mean, nothing came?
Things don't come.
You make things happen.
You know, a movie set didn't materialize around me, so I guess, you know, you go for auditions, you make things happen, and it's your job as a parent to protect your kid, and if you've got some psycho stalker, you have to deal with it until it's dealt with, which means you escalate, which means you go to the cops, which means you get a restraining order, which means you move, which means whatever.
No, I'm getting to that.
You could have been dead!
I know, but I'm getting to that.
But she's your rock!
I know, but...
What I meant to say was nothing came of that little family meeting as far as fixing the stalking problem.
It was just like...
Did your mom do anything to fix the stalking problem?
She did.
She did attempt to call the police, but back then they said there were no stalking laws back then.
This was in Pennsylvania.
I don't remember the stalking laws then, but I don't believe they existed.
And he was under 18, so they, you know...
They didn't really care either.
Okay, so let's say that's all true, and Mike, I'm sure, will have a quick look up to see whether or not 26 years ago or 25 years ago there was talking laws.
Okay.
So then you move.
Well, she had bought a house, and she'd put all...
Oh, yes, the house.
House is very important, because otherwise, where will your daughter's body be found?
Well, you know, she lived on a secretary's salary and she was raising me and, you know, she didn't, it wasn't something she could just up and abandon.
You know, it was like, this is where she set up home and she did.
She tried talking to the school, she tried talking to his parents, the police, but it only stopped until when he turned 18.
And he walked by our house right after he turned 18 and my mom was outside and she said to him, I heard you turned 18.
You better not mess with my daughter anymore.
And after that it was over.
Because obviously he was scared to go to jail.
Right, so you were reliant upon a woman for protection.
Yeah.
And that didn't happen until she threatened this guy with men coming to arrest him.
And that was how it was solved.
Yeah.
Do you think she should have done more?
Um...
I am not sure what more she could have done.
I wouldn't have asked her to move us.
I don't think...
Why?
Didn't this make your life a living hell for years?
Weren't you always aware of it?
Always frightened?
Always worried about going to school?
Always worried about every sound in the house at night?
I mean, wasn't this always on your mind?
It was.
It was definitely traumatic and it was a trigger for my anxiety and insomnia problems that I still have to this day.
So you'd rather have 25, a quarter century of insomnia than have your mother move?
It's so hard for me to answer that question.
I don't know.
It was just like, wow, me and her finally have a nice big house.
And to let somebody drive you away from it, I don't know.
It feels like running away.
Right.
Yes, it does.
And often, you know, if an elephant is charging at you, you run away.
Of course.
I mean, if you can't protect your daughter and the police won't help and the laws won't help.
I think maybe part of it...
Then you run.
Of course you do.
Part of it was we thought that...
We kept thinking, this is going to stop, this is going to stop.
I would actually end up with...
I went into new relationships.
I had new boyfriends.
And he would try to start fights with them.
But he would still continue to harass men.
And even they couldn't get him to stop, my new boyfriends.
Yeah, I don't know.
Ugh.
Kind of a loss.
Okay.
Well, I've sort of said my piece, and I'm just saying this to the other parents out there.
Listen, if your kids are being bullied, if your kids are being stalked, if there are death threats, if it's terrifying for them, if they're not sleeping, if they can't concentrate, if it is emotionally destroying any pleasure they have in their life, move!
Move!
You know, everyone from North America, except the people who are here already, came from Europe.
And the people who are here already came from Europe, but a bit further ago.
Lots of people move.
Nomads, gypsies, tigers, they roam, they move.
It's fine.
You can get up, you can pick up, you can move.
Yeah.
This crossed your fingers and hoped for the best.
Well.
Yeah, it didn't work.
It does the opposite of working.
Right.
Alright.
So.
18 to 41.
Give me the rundown.
Well, I still had some boyfriend, what I would consider normal adolescent relationships up until I was about 21.
Now, I should tell you that when I was 18, I got sick with mono and this kind of changed my life because I never really fully recovered from it.
And that's called the kissing disease, right?
I had a friend who had that and it's brutal, right?
Yeah, it was like six months of being unable to move and it delayed me getting into college.
I mean, I eventually did, but...
It is an STD, right?
I mean, you don't have to have sex to get it, but if you kiss a lot of people, the odds go up that you'll get it, right?
Well, I mean, I hesitate to call it an STD, but yes, it is mainly transmitted through kissing.
If you're in a monogamous relationship with someone who doesn't have it, like if you get married or something, then you're not going to get it, right?
Right, but also you could get it from a family member just by sharing a straw, technically.
So, I'm not...
Absolutely.
And occasionally you can get AIDS from blood transfusions.
But odds are, right?
Well, I'm not sure.
I don't know that much about it.
But it kind of led to chronic health problems.
How many boyfriends did you have, 15 to 18?
Yeah.
15 to 18, I would say maybe five.
And then what happened...
And they themselves would have had, let's say, an equivalent number.
Yeah.
Right?
So you're swapping spit with 25 people.
Right, right.
And I do want to stress that I did not want to have five boyfriends in the span of these years.
I wanted a loyal one-boyfriend scenario.
I wanted...
Of course, nobody warned me when I was younger, "Oh, as soon as you sleep with them, which you think is required or they won't stay with you, as soon as you do that, then they're going to leave for somebody else." That was not taught to me.
Sorry, as soon as you sleep with them, they're going to leave you?
Yeah.
Because that's what they- So wait, I thought you said that you sleep with them, otherwise they'll leave you, but then you sleep with them and then they leave you.
So in what scenario do they not leave you?
No, no.
Okay, sorry, I should clarify.
Sorry, I'm not down on instinctual vagina management, so if you can get me up to the coven speed, that would be excellent.
I'm not much of a clit wrangler, so I need to know what the rules are these days.
Plus, I'm ancient, you know, for a lot of my audience, so I don't know why I'm ancient.
Back then, I thought it was my own understanding that if I did not end up sleeping with my boyfriend, then he was going to dump me.
So I felt obligated at some point.
And is that because you knew that there were other girls who were having sex with guys?
And so it's sort of a race to the...
Yeah.
I was going to say race to the bottom, but basically it's race to the ass, right?
Pretty much.
You got to put out, otherwise he's going to go find someone who will.
Exactly.
Okay, so in that, you're saying, you know, come for me, stay for the vagina, right?
Yeah.
I guess I thought that they would stay for the rest of me, you know, which was stupid.
Oh, so the vagina is the bait.
You're the hook.
I just thought I was...
I thought I had more to offer than that and that they would see that and it was wrong.
But you still had to offer that.
And again, I have sympathy for this.
Women are in a terrible situation.
Mm-hmm.
I'm nothing but sympathy for this, so I'm not trying to be critical here.
I mean, it is a really god-awful situation when teenage sexuality runs away and everyone becomes R-selected and there aren't dads around and no one's protecting anyone and everyone's boy crazy and girl crazy and hormones are running R-selected geysers reaching to the moon.
It's a mess.
And so I really understand there used to be, of course, a kind of pact among women, which was none of us put out.
Exactly.
None of us put out.
And whoever puts out, we're going to shame them into their component atoms.
Yep.
Because if this wall breaks, if this wall, if this hymen breaks, we're doomed!
Because we'll never know ever whether the guy likes us or just wants to do stuff which allows him to not think about sex for about eight and a half minutes, right?
I agree with you totally.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, this is a terrible, terrible situation.
And it's particularly destructive for girls because, and we were just talking to a lady who was pointing out that the amount of, I think it's...
The amount of happy joy juice hormones that is released by a woman's body during intercourse is so significant that it's bonding.
Like a woman bonds.
And of course, it's a very vulnerable position.
I mean, you're down.
There's a guy usually a size and a half to twice your size.
You know, on top of you, you're in an exquisitely vulnerable position.
And a woman is designed to really bond with a sexual partner.
Men, particularly our selected men, less so.
And so the woman is in a tortured position.
I don't mean to be telling you mansplaining, but I just want to get this across to the audience.
It's a terrible position to be in because if you don't sleep with the guy, you're afraid he's going to go somewhere else.
If you do sleep with him, you're afraid that he won't care about you or respect you.
And so you're desperately trying to hang on to this slippery penis fish, trying to keep its attention.
And it's, you know, that old song, you know, will you still love me tomorrow?
You know, that used to be the big question, you know.
Oh, yes.
Or like there's this old Goldie Hawn movie, Private Benjamin.
Was, you know, he said he loved me.
He said he loved me.
He said he would never leave me.
And then what happened?
Then he came.
And it's gruesome.
And it makes a very complicated, slippery, manipulative, confusing, and fundamentally dishonest interaction.
Because you can't be openly vulnerable and say, I'm afraid that if I don't sleep with you, you're going to go somewhere else.
You have to be scheming all the time.
You're like this plotting.
My daughter and I, we have plotting hands.
When we're plotting something, we rub our hands together and stroke our invisible mustache as well.
Mine, not so much, but...
It's god-awful.
It's a god-awful situation, and that's exactly why the Gandalf hymen used to stand on the bridge, thou shalt not pass!
You know, that was the big thing, you know, no passing and no sex without commitment, because the woman's going to commit hormonally anyway.
No sex without commitment.
But that coven has been completely broken, and now it's just like, you know, watching a bunch of fat kids dive into the...
Contents of an overturned Smarty truck, right?
It's awful.
Yeah, completely.
Okay, so that's enough of my general explanation, but your particular experience with that, is that anywhere close to what happened?
Well...
Yeah, I mean, not all of the boyfriends I had dumped me, but when they did, after having sex with them, I took it extremely hard.
And because I didn't really have my mom to talk to about this, and she hadn't warned me in advance, so I wasn't mentally prepared, and I'm young and I took it really hard and I internalized it as the fact that I must be fundamentally flawed.
And this is where my low self-esteem really took hold.
Despite being...
I would say that this behavior was the result of the low self-esteem and this probably exacerbated it.
But your mother knew at the age of 15 that you were having sex because the little creep talked about using the condom, right?
Yeah, yeah.
And so after she knew that you were having sex, what did she do?
How did she talk to you about it?
How did she step you through the minefield?
And it is a minefield.
There's no goddamn teenager alive who should ever negotiate sexual politics without guidance.
It's like saying, okay, I need you to pick me up in 20 minutes.
Go build a car using only wire fencing and pine cones.
I mean, you can't possibly figure all this stuff out.
The only thing she tried to guide me on was like, basically, don't get a disease and don't get pregnant.
It was never anything about, well, there are emotional ramifications of what this entails as well.
Did she have boyfriends herself?
She dated, yeah.
She had some boyfriends during my years.
She never remarried, though.
And the guys were around?
Um, they were occasionally.
She pretty much kept them away from me, though.
They weren't...
Because I don't even remember them that well.
So, she was...
But they didn't stick around.
No, no.
I mean, she would, you know, she would stay with them for a while, but for one reason or another, it didn't work out, so...
So you didn't have any instruction on how to get and keep a quality man?
No, none.
Right.
So how would you?
I mean, it's like if you've never even heard Japanese, how the hell are you supposed to speak Japanese?
Right.
Right.
All right.
So we left you staggering along under six months of mono, which you said has never completely gone away?
Well, yeah, I'm still suffering from chronic fatigue issues and fibromyalgia, which is just some generalized muscle pain and depression and anxiety.
So, yeah, but just feeling the way I feel, you know, will make anybody depressed, but I digress.
And did this start with the mono and has continued since, or did it let up for a while and...
No, it started with the mono.
It was like a slow downhill thing as I aged.
It just got kind of worse and worse.
That's not been good.
Right.
So, how did your 20s go?
So, my 20s did not...
You said a bad girl.
Yeah, yeah.
And I even hate to admit it, but I can't fix something I don't admit.
Back where I lived, I lived in a, you know, major city and, you know, cold north and...
You know, there wasn't much to do except go out and drink.
And so, you know, me and my girlfriends, that would be a two to three times a week activity is going to the clubs, getting dressed up, looking beautiful, you know, trying to, you know, attract the quote, hot guys.
And see, my mindset had kind of shifted around the last serious relationship I remember that ended when I was around 21.
After that, I just kind of felt this fed up, angry at men feeling that I am not going to play your stupid game anymore.
You mean the game of trying to lasso him with the labia and seeing if he breaks free?
Exactly.
Yeah.
So I got very angry inside.
I'm so sorry to interrupt, and I'm sorry for asking such a shallow question, but I'm a guy.
No, but it has something to do with it.
So when you were younger, and I'm sure this is similar now, I'm only 41, but when you were younger, how do you think people would have rated you physical attractiveness 1 to 10?
Probably an eight.
I mean, I'm not saying this from my perspective.
No, no, it's fine.
Everyone says that and then immediately puts caveats in.
This is something everybody needs to know.
You need to know this for yourself.
If I had to describe myself, I try to portray myself as kind of a girl-next-door image.
I feel like I'm understated.
Yeah, you're the Marianne, not the ginger, right?
Yeah, I'm not flashy.
Okay, so that's very good looking, right?
And you had youth and fertility and all this kind of stuff.
Mono, okay, but you had all of that.
Now, it stops being infectious after a while, obviously, right?
Yeah, the infectious stage goes away and it just lays dormant.
And in theory, anybody can catch it from you, but statistically speaking, 90% or plus of the population already has antibodies to it.
So it's not really something I think...
Did you have to tell guys you had mono before you kissed them?
No, no.
That's really not the general consensus.
People don't do that.
Yeah, you're not in a sort of Robin Williams situation when he hit.
Okay.
No, no.
So, is it fair to say that after 21, you didn't really have serious relationships?
Were they mostly just...
They were just...
One night stands?
Pretty much.
Yep, throughout my entire 20s, it was basically just, you know, hookups.
And I'm not saying it was necessarily a different guy every week, but I didn't always go home with somebody.
That wasn't necessarily my goal.
I actually enjoyed dancing.
I've always been, like, somebody who loves dancing, so that was my outlet.
But, hey, if I saw a, you know, guy that caught my eye and vice versa, yeah, you know, probably...
I might hook up with him.
And would this be, I'm sorry to be probing, so to speak, but is this sort of like no last names, no exchange of phone numbers, one night get out?
Like a couple of hours get out kind of thing?
No, not quite that bad.
A lot of them were like FWBs, friends with benefits, you know, so, you know, Oh, like we've seen each other at the bar before and if we don't find anyone else, we might go home with each other?
Yeah, stuff like that.
But I kind of want to stress that when I look back on this and reflect on this behavior, I don't feel that I was doing this for sexual reasons.
I feel like it was a major power play and it was a way that I felt better about myself and felt in control of the situation.
What situation?
The male-female dynamic.
It was just like...
Oh, because the men wanted you, and the men would approach you, and the men would buy you drinks, and you felt powerful.
Well, yeah, that...
I'm sorry, I'm not trying to tell you.
That didn't sound like a question.
I apologize for that.
I'm certainly not trying to tell you your experience.
Is that close, or is there something else?
Well, it was just sort of like, it was sort of like, okay, well, I'm not going, it was like I went into it with this attitude, well, I'm not going to get emotionally attached to you, you can't hurt me, we're just going to have fun, and I'm going to feel, you know, desired, it's going to boost my self-esteem, it's going to make me feel better about myself.
It was almost like a drug in that regard, but then you would crash, and then you would feel crappy about it.
I mean, did it, did it, Make you feel better about yourself?
Temporarily.
Outside of the moment?
Cocaine makes you feel confident, but it's not the same as self-knowledge, right?
Yeah.
Outside of the moment, no.
At the time, I was self-medicating with alcohol.
I was in a club and definitely self-medicating.
I'm actually pretty introverted, so I kind of needed that to Oh yeah, no.
Clubs are one big, flashing, epileptic-inducing sea of a lot of people with social anxiety chasing away their demons with drugs and alcohol.
That was me, yeah, pretty much.
Were you ever in any dangerous situations through this process?
I got lucky.
I never got hurt or raped or anything bad, but I tell you what, that was only out of luck.
Because you had friends who weren't so lucky?
No.
I don't know anyone personally that something bad happened to.
It's just I know what can happen.
And looking back, it was very...
It's like these guys don't even know it's a rape culture.
It's that interesting.
It was just very...
I know what I did was very dangerous.
Well, yeah.
I mean, not if you're dating whites and Asians, I guess.
Well, I was only dating whites.
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah, you wouldn't want to try that in Somalia, necessarily.
But anyway, so...
You went through your 20s and I guess you had a series of your friends, like your girlfriends that you say you dressed up, you know, man's shirts, short skirts kind of thing.
And you would go out to the bar.
Sometimes you'd go home with a guy.
Sometimes you wouldn't.
It would kind of last or not.
Friends with benefits here and there.
Now, is it true or is it the case that your female friends were doing this and none of them sort of peeled off and settled down?
Some of them did peel off and settle down, but my best friend at the time that I had known since junior high, she was just like me and we kind of probably fed off each other's dysfunction.
Neither of you wanted to get fixed because the other person would feel bad, right?
Something like that, but yeah.
Yeah, like if one of you got a steady boyfriend who was a quality guy, but you were looking for looks, right?
Like the hot guys you said, right?
Yeah, and I hate that I even say that because it makes me sound very shallow and maybe I am.
It makes you sound like a guy.
I mean, you were living like a guy.
Yeah.
Well, you're living like a gay guy, right?
I mean, you were living like a guy, right?
You know, I don't know.
I don't know why I was so focused on looks.
Maybe it was just like, I don't know.
Because you were living like a guy.
Guys are focused on looks, right?
Yeah, I guess.
And if you are selected, you're not going for personal quality.
You're going for size, strength, chiseled jaw, full head of hair, high cheekbones, piercing blue eye, whatever it is that's going to be your particular triggers, because you would have been selected, you would have been going for science or physical quality rather than emotional or maturity qualities.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And this went on for, I guess, 21 until when?
Until 30, when I moved to Florida with my mom.
I had the weather up there.
I'd just gotten to...
Wait, hang on, hang on.
Okay.
Okay.
Why am I pausing you here?
I don't know.
What did your mom do?
Oh no, my mom didn't do anything.
No, no.
What did your mom do?
You said she moved.
No, it was my idea.
No, I don't care whose idea it was.
Your mother moved.
Why is that important?
Because I didn't want to be without her and vice versa.
No, your mother moved.
But you said she was tied into this house and her job.
She couldn't move for the stalker.
Well, I'm sorry.
I missed a part in the story where she eventually sold that house after.
I was in my 20s when she sold it.
I have not lived with my mom this entire timeline.
I've been living that.
Hang on.
You had to have years of livid terror as a teenager because the house was so important.
And then she just sold it in your 20s anyway.
Yeah, well, she'd finally, you know, paid it off and she was going to make money.
No, no, you're not getting the point.
I know, I know.
You're studiously avoiding the point, in fact, by giving me a bunch of verbal junk, right?
Yeah.
So she moved.
She sold the house and she moved.
Right.
She was living elsewhere.
Right.
Yeah.
So the house didn't happen.
And how old were you when she did that?
When she moved out of the house, it was between 25 and 30.
Okay, so 8 to 10 years after the stalking stuff was going down, she just moved anyway.
Right.
Okay, I'm just pointing this out.
We don't have to pause on it.
I just want you to bookmark that and perhaps revisit it.
The neighborhood was going downhill.
Well, your neighborhood was going down quite a bit with the goddamn stalker.
I know.
Yeah.
So it really wasn't the neighborhood was crap for you.
You were pretty much in prison.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Anyway, that's just something to bookmark and, you know, maybe check back with your rock a little bit.
But OK, so you hit 30.
Yeah.
Which is also known as the wall.
I'm sure you've heard of that.
Reproductiveness.
Yeah.
I mean, the 30 is when women sort of go, wait a minute.
Hang on.
What's that?
Uh-oh.
Dust.
Dust on the eggs.
Dust on the eggs!
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
I'm not going to be young forever!
I'm not stuck in a timeless capsule of being 20!
Oh, no.
I'm getting wrinkles.
Is that a gray hair?
Oh, no.
I have middle-aged spread.
I've turned into a muffin!
Right?
Well...
You know what happens?
I mean, you take off your bra and the boobs flop down like the ears of a cocker spaniel.
Well, I've been a little bit luckier in that regard.
Well, lucky or unlucky, because if you look on the outside, it don't matter the eggs, right?
The eggs age doesn't matter how good.
I can change the eggs that are two days past due.
I can put them in a new carton.
I can get Botox for the outside of the eggs.
It don't matter whether you can eat them or not, right?
Right.
Well, one interesting thing that reminded me of is my mom had me when she was 30.
So she had me right at that, you know, that wall.
All right.
So you hit the wall.
And the wall doesn't mean life's over.
It just means like, okay, now it might be a good time to panic.
Well, but to be honest with you, I never wanted children.
And...
And I'm probably going to get flack from your listeners for this, but it was just, from a young age, I never felt like I wanted children, and I think a lot of it had to do with, number one, it was just me and my mom.
It was a quiet household, not a lot of children.
Not a lot of voices, chaos around.
So I liked peace and calmness.
And from an early age, I was extremely fascinated with animals.
I felt maternal towards animals.
And I know I've seen your listeners bitch about that.
Why do women love animals and not people or children?
It's because you get easy ways to bleed off your maternal drives.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
I mean, it does.
And I love animals, too.
Don't get me wrong.
I mean, I love animals as well.
But for women, you know, the old cliche of the childless woman with cats, you know, I mean, they go crazy because, you know, we're kind of designed to have children.
And if you don't have children, I mean, not everyone has to have children.
It's not some sort of divine commandment.
But we're all here because somebody chose to have children.
Right.
And pets is, yeah, it's just a way to...
I know.
That's not a good enough reason.
It was just a personal choice.
And to be frank with you, I don't think it would have been a good idea for me to have children because I have severe allergies.
I wouldn't want to pass these on to anybody.
What?
I wouldn't.
Oh, no.
Come on.
Come on.
Do you like being alive?
I don't want to die.
I mean, you're talking to me rather than taking an invisible pirate walk off a building, right?
So if you can live with your allergies, yeah, someone else.
And you don't, no, no, you don't know.
It may not be heritable.
Well, I did inherit my allergies from my father's side, and there was also a tendency towards depression and anxiety on his side of the family.
Well, maybe, maybe, if your mom had helped you, you could have chosen a guy quite the opposite of your dad.
Yeah.
And then you wouldn't have to worry quite as much about that.
Right.
But then again, if I had had a kid, I could have screwed up the same way she screwed up.
Or, you know, I just, yeah.
Maybe it's just the best I ended the cycle here, you know.
Well, you didn't end the cycle.
You broke the bike.
Yeah.
Right?
Ending the cycle is taking something that's spinning around like tide, cutting it loose and taking it away.
I mean, you just nuked the whole arena here.
There's no ending the cycle here.
There's just ending life.
It's ending the bloodline.
Right.
Right.
And this is very common, to be honest, right?
I mean, it's like lots of kids, fewer kids, one kid, no kid.
Very few of the people I knew who grew up as single kids are family oriented.
So that is a trait of only children?
In my, I haven't studied it, but in my experience.
Okay.
It's like this depressing subtraction, you know.
Four kids, three kids, two kids, one kids, and we're done.
Yeah, yeah.
But also, you would have had to stop catching the D, right?
You'd have had to give up on sleeping around.
Right.
Right?
And clearly, you liked that.
And so, you used your sexual organs for fun rather than life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a way to...
It helped my self-esteem just like alcohol did temporarily.
Right.
Okay, so 30.
And also, people who are abused as children very often have a very soft spot for animals because they want to provide the kind of protection and nurturing that they did not receive as kids.
But it's a topic for another time.
So then 30, what goes down?
Hopefully not you quite as much, but...
Well, my depression had become really bad and a lot of it was weather-related up there.
And I'd always dreamed of living...
Weather?
Sorry.
Weather-related?
Weather, because where I lived, it was like Seattle weather.
It's like It's always raining, cold.
I'm no expert, but the fact that in your life it was raining alcohol and balls might have had something to do.
That's the weather that I would look to first, rather than just, it's raining?
I know you'll think I'm making this up, but it really truly was the weather.
Seasonal affective disorder, right?
SAD, some people call it.
Okay, fine.
Take my snarky comments and flush them.
But okay, so you got to the sunny climate, you got to the sunny state.
Yes.
You ate some oranges, you got some vitamin D, a little bit different from the vitamin D you were getting before.
And...
And then what happened?
I just didn't have it in me to continue that path.
In fact, I was kind of winding down in my late 20s.
It was like, I can't do this anymore.
And why not?
The empty feeling just got worse and worse and worse.
And the depression got worse.
And...
It was like, what am I doing?
Yeah, drinking and sleeping around.
Didn't turn out to be the magic soul-healing panacea that you were hoping for, right?
Correct.
And what about your friends?
Were they in the same boat or were they still happily on the carousel?
Except for that one close girlfriend, most of them had dropped out of that scene.
So it was getting a little lonely too, right?
True, true, yeah.
And there were lots of younger models in the showroom, so to speak?
I guess.
I mean, yeah.
I mean, there always are, you know.
Couldn't quite pull the hotties as much anymore, right?
No, seriously.
I mean, this is a fair comment, isn't it?
I mean, I do look a lot younger than my age, but yeah, of course, I'm, you know, I'm going to be, my model is going to decline after, you know, a few years.
This is the sound you don't want to hear when the woman opens her legs.
Yeah.
Anyway, sorry, go on.
Oh, God, I'm painting myself in such a beautiful light, but yeah.
Actually, you're doing fine.
I'm doing that, so I apologize for that.
Okay, so you get to Florida, you feel better with the sunshine, and then what happens?
I do attempt a date again, and this time I'm trying to look for somebody that is...
I'm not looking for someone to have a kid with, just a monogamous relationship, and I did have...
I'd say three in the past 10 years.
But you have no skills in the maintenance of a relationship.
No.
Right?
I mean, you might as well have just signed up to repair nuclear power plants, right?
I mean, because you've basically just been sleeping around and you have no skills on how to have a...
Committed relationship of negotiation and compromise and bills and health and whatever, right?
Exactly.
I'm completely, yeah, I don't know what the hell.
And what kind of guys were you getting?
And this has nothing to do with your level of attractiveness, just in terms of like, you know, the first people to the auction get the best goods and what's left in your 30s.
Well, I did lower my standards, you know.
I mean, I wasn't trying to...
Plus, by this time I realized that the hottest looking guys are usually not going to be the ones to settle down.
I had enough common sense.
You think?
Yeah.
Well, especially because...
So, the good looking guys you can't settle down with because of you in your 20s, right?
Seriously.
Like, you in your 20s is now the enemy of you in your 30s.
I never thought about it.
You get that?
Yeah, yeah.
Because they can just go to the bar and dance with some woman and then go and have sex with her and wander off.
So the alphas is because of you.
Like when you were in your 20s, you were screwing things up for the women in their 30s.
And now when you're in your 30s, it's the women in 20s screwing things up for you.
Oh my gosh.
I never thought of it like that.
Yeah, it's true.
Because women don't know the degree to which they're taking some of the alphas out of circulation by offering up the V, you know, if they drop a pencil on the ground.
Right.
All right.
So I did try to have, and I did have a couple relationships that lasted a couple years, but they were very dysfunctional.
A couple of years?
Yeah, believe it or not, there were two...
No, I believe it.
A couple of years surprised me a little bit, and then when you said that were dysfunctional, that surprised me even more.
How were they dysfunctional?
I think, well, I mean, my fear of abandonment has followed me and I was always just, I was always in a state of stress and trying to analyze what my partner, what his actions or words meant.
Like, I was always trying to read into it more like, did he say that because he's not happy with me in some way?
Am I doing something wrong?
Is he going to leave me?
I was extremely...
Oh, man.
You were high maintenance.
Probably.
And exhausting, right?
Well, I exhausted myself.
No, no.
Forget about you because we're talking about the guys here for a moment if we can just, you know, go over the fence.
Sure.
That's exhausting.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, insecurity that is kind of a dictatorship for other people.
Like, I feel anxious, you have to fix it.
I feel anxious, you have to fix it.
The other person can't fix it because they didn't make it, right?
Right.
And so that just gets exhausting, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And is that what happened?
Like, everyone just got kind of tired out and didn't have the strength to pick up the phone anymore?
Or how did these things peter out?
Yeah.
Well, one of them, it just kind of, we grew apart.
And I think he was extremely sexually obsessed with me.
And it was like, I started to feel like that's the only reason he wanted to see me.
He lived about 45 minutes away.
And I just felt like that was the only reason he came over to see me.
Was to have sex.
Yeah.
So you're exactly back to where you were as a teenager.
Yeah.
Except, well, I have a monogamous guy, but...
Oh, but as a teenager, you're like, okay, I gotta have sex with him, otherwise he won't be interested in me, but now I'm afraid he's only interested in me because of the sex.
Yes.
And I started to feel a lot of resentment over it.
Sure.
Yeah, if you have sex early...
You don't have sex later.
That's the deal.
If you hold off on sex, you get lots of sex later.
If you have sex early, you don't have sex later.
Because the insecurity is founded in, right?
Yep.
I can never be friends with someone I had to pay $50,000 to be my friend.
Right?
Because no matter what happens, the beginning always had the $50,000 I had to pay to be my friend.
Yeah.
Vagina is bribery.
Right?
Uh-huh.
And you can't ever feel secure with someone you had to bribe to be around you.
Correct.
All right, but you know all this.
Yeah.
And how many, so how many men did you sleep with from 15 to now?
From 15 till now?
I have to be honest that I never put, like, I don't have an exact count, but it is somewhere around 60.
I know, that sounds terrible.
That sounds low.
No, because you said that you wouldn't go home with someone every week.
But let's say you went home with someone every second week.
That's 25 guys over 10 years.
That's 250 guys.
No, it definitely was not that many.
A third week?
A lot of them were repeats, like remember the friends with benefits things.
Oh, right, right.
Yeah, so, yeah.
Yeah, sorry, I forgot about that.
See how old I am?
See how monogamous I am?
I am trying to be completely honest.
It's embarrassing to even say that.
And did your boyfriends know that you'd slept with 50 or 60 guys before being with them?
Like in your 30s?
I'm sure we had those conversations eventually.
I don't think I ever admitted the true number to them.
I don't think I could.
I was too afraid that, oh, well, you know, she's a slut.
You know?
Well, do you think that you were?
I think I acted promiscuous.
I think that I... But, of course, I was picky, but I hate to use the word...
Well, not that picky.
60 is not that picky.
I just hate to use the word slut.
I don't...
Because...
Okay, what number for you would be a slut?
Probably...
Oh, God.
61?
No, I probably...
I don't know.
I don't know if I can put a number on it.
Um...
And I'm curious because I think that we can all accept that there is such a thing as a slut.
And that's not particular to men or women.
Although, again, I think it's more damaging for women.
But I'm just curious what the number would be.
I guess maybe over 100 in a lifetime.
I don't know.
Maybe I'm being...
Maybe I'm not being hard enough on myself.
I just...
I feel like I've admitted what I've done wrong and I've paid my dues and I don't want to...
I don't want to damage my psyche anymore and labeling myself that.
Oh, and I'm not saying you should.
I was just curious.
I don't know what the answer is.
Okay.
So you had a couple of boyfriends in your 30s and did they each last a couple of years or was it, were they older or about the same age?
Five years older, both.
The two longer-term ones were five years older than me.
There was one shorter one that was younger than me.
And these were guys who themselves didn't want to have kids, right?
Correct.
Right.
Okay, so they would be willing to date you because they're Older, whereas the younger guys probably are looking for women their own age or younger, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay.
And when did you last have a relationship?
About five years ago.
And since then, you haven't tried, is that right?
No, I've given up on relationships.
I don't have any interest anymore.
I've gotten to this comfortable level of being alone.
I feel like even if I put myself out there...
I don't have enough to give, and I don't want to feel that scary feeling of, well, the games you have to play.
Well, you don't have to play, but the games you choose to play.
Well, I think it would be games in my own mind.
It's like, okay, the guy texts me, and when should I text back?
Or should I call him?
I just want to be myself, and I feel like I can't be myself.
Right.
The technology has changed things.
What do you mean?
Well, there wasn't texting really back when I was in my 20s.
There wasn't Facebook.
It adds a whole other level of paranoia to the whole thing.
What do you mean?
And again, I'm asking because I've never dated in the digital age, so to speak.
There was email when I was around, but it was delivered by carrier pigeons.
Sorry, go ahead.
I think there's more opportunities for men to cheat.
It's easier.
They can hide it easier.
I'd be more insecure in that regard.
And texting is...
I hate texting, personally.
I like to talk on the phone, but a lot of guys even my age are not into that.
They'd rather just text everything.
And to be perfectly honest with you, and I don't know how much of this is physical, how much is emotional, I just really have lost interest in men.
Have you lost interest in sex or men as a whole?
Both.
And do you think that's partly due to the sort of physical tiredness that you feel and so on?
I'm sure that is a major part of it.
And it could be hormonal.
Of course, your hormones are going to dip as you get older.
But even if it wasn't for that, I just feel like I don't have that mental toughness to...
To try to be in a relationship now.
I feel like I've just been broken too many times.
Been broken.
I'm obviously really, really sorry to hear that phrase, but been broken.
Well, I mean, I've done it to myself.
I mean, a lot of it I've done to myself and admit it.
Did anyone, during the course of your life, did anyone say to you, This isn't going to go well for you.
Yeah.
And this is the frustrating thing that I have around this stuff, that you're kind of flying blind in a lot of ways, right?
Yeah.
I mean, every movie that I watch, the men and women meet and go to bed.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
I watch some...
I do this just for sort of cultural research, but I watched that movie with, I think, Kate Winslet and, oh, God, and Jude Law, and, you know, and yeah, they meet and they have sex.
It's the same thing in Woody Allen films.
Well, meet, have sex, meet, have sex, meet, have sex.
It's just, there's no courtship.
There's no getting to know each other.
There's no other family members, you know, that you're ever going to have to deal with.
No mother-in-laws, no cultural differences, no nothing, right?
Right, right.
And so generally there's this programming for meat sex, meat sex, meat sex, meat sex.
Yeah.
M-E-A-T sex, M-E-A-T sex.
And there's not a lot of restraint in any of that.
And who's saying to people, you're smashing yourself up?
On the rocks of cocks, right?
I mean, you're just like a ship.
You got away with words.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nobody ever told me to...
Nobody says it, right?
Nobody says it.
And any time you try to say it, any time you try to say...
I mean, I mentioned this the other day in a show.
Rupert Everett is an actor.
He's a gay actor.
He said, I had too much sex.
When I was younger, I just slept around.
He's a fantastically good-looking guy.
He's in, I think, An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde.
It's a good film to see him in.
Who is he?
What's his name?
Rupert Everett.
If you ever saw The Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts, he played the friend.
Okay, I know who you're talking about.
And he said, I had too much sex when I was younger with too many faceless people and it just smashed me up.
So this isn't a phenomenon that happens to women?
Oh, no.
I knew gay people when I was younger who had sex, introduced themselves, and then went on a date later.
And, yeah, antidepressants, the whole thing.
I mean, this idea that it's like the obesity of the genitals, you know, like salty, fatty...
Sweet food tastes good, but it's terrible for you.
In moderation, great.
If you want to have a lifetime of eating bad food, really moderate how much bad food you eat so you can enjoy it longer.
I'm not trying to say that sex is bad food.
It's not a guilty pleasure.
Sex is a wonderful part of life and why we're all here.
It's the only thing that makes up for being taxed as an adult.
Okay, I get income tax and sex.
Okay, I'll still fight the income tax, but I'll take the sex.
But, you know, you want to aim for the long haul when it comes to your sex life, right?
I mean, you had a lot of variety.
I assume that some of the sexual encounters when you were in your 20s were...
I mean, at the time, I assume you weren't just gritting your teeth, lying back and thinking of Gloria Steinem's slowly spreading smile at the destruction of Western civilization or anything.
I mean, you were having fun and you were out there and you got the dopamine hit of some guy finds me hot and wants to take me home and, you know, chew off my bra.
I mean, so you got all of that.
But, you know, now you're 41.
You're probably halfway through your life or maybe a little less than halfway.
You got another 40 years to go.
Right.
And what are you going to do?
Well, I'm probably going to just sit it out now.
I mean, sadly.
You know, I'm not one of those people that's big on therapy, and I just...
No, I get that.
I mean, you tried a kind of therapy, right?
Which I guess involved couches from time to time, right?
But you tried ball therapy, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it didn't work, as a therapist would probably have told you.
Right.
So, it is what it is, and I take responsibility.
At least I try to.
And what would you say to...
To young women, what would you say to the 18-year-old women who see this fork in the road, and on the one side, it's like, oh, I'm supposed to be Barbara Binglingsley and greet my husband in full formal wear and makeup when he comes home from work, and I'm supposed to just fry up his little steak and bring him a scotch while he sits on the couch.
The dog sleeps under his slippers, right?
I mean, so there's this cliché, say...
Oh, you know, it's all like, leave it to Beaver, you know, Ozzie and Harriet.
And it's supposed to be cynical, but Ozzie and Harriet look pretty damn fine to me.
Asked to leave it to Beaver.
Pretty damn fine.
Right.
Pretty great life.
And on the other hand, they're told, you know, hypersex, potty train.
You'll never be thrown off.
It'll always get round and round.
You'll have fun from here to eternity.
Don't worry about your eggs.
Kids are for squares, you know?
Like, go out and have fun, you know?
Work those cocks like you're at Vegas.
Ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching, right?
Until you get the five lemons called your last five decades.
Yeah.
But what would you say to women who are looking down your road, looking down other roads?
What would you like them to hear?
I would say to anyone that's listening to this, take my life as a cautionary tale that this is not where you want to end up when you're 41.
I still have life left to live, but because of my choices, it's really damaged me emotionally and And it's probably not fixable at this point.
And don't sleep around.
If you want to settle down with somebody, you need to teach people how you want to be treated.
And if they walk away, they walk away.
But the short-term fun, party, sleeping around, lifestyle is not what it's cracked up to be.
Yeah.
Yeah, you burn your future with the bright fire of your 20s, right?
Yes.
And when it's all done, you can't remember much of the fun, but you're looking forward to a lot of the loneliness, right?
Exactly.
Yeah.
And I accept that, but I see how, you know, society is, and I feel, I know how young women are doing out there, and a lot of them are doing the same thing, and it makes me think, we're just going to end up with a bunch of more people like me in another 20 years, and it really does bother me, you know?
No, we'll just end up with Sharia law, but that's a different story if this stuff continues, right?
Yeah.
And also, you know, it's a tough plea to make, but I want to hold men responsible as well to all the alphas out there having sex with all of these women.
I mean, you're destroying your civilization.
You're literally destroying your civilization.
Look, if...
If a good guy, if a quality guy, as a good-looking guy, stable guy, had wanted to settle down with you at the age of 23, you'd have been open to that, right?
Yes.
But no!
They gotta boomerang their penises back to the bar.
Hey, maybe this vagina will feel slightly different.
Maybe this one will have bumper cars.
Maybe this one will have a Calliope.
Maybe this one will have elves.
Maybe this one will have a scepter at the top that I can use to rule the world.
And it's like...
You know, they're really not that different.
You know, it's apples in a bowl.
Hey, maybe this apple will taste like non-apple.
Nope.
It's vagina.
It doesn't come with a spiral staircase next time.
It's vagina.
You know, I mean, this nose is a banana.
This nose is a kumquat.
Anyway, so the guys out there who are like, hey, I can go out and I'm so good looking and I'm V-shaped and I'm meaty and I got some nudes.
I don't know if dance, but I used to love dancing.
I still do, but I used to go to discos all the time, all night.
Great stuff.
Anyway, but the guys who are out there just pulling the girls, you are breaking them.
You are cracking them open and breaking them.
You know how like prisoners get big hammers and they're supposed to break rocks in jail?
Well, you got a hammer called a penis and you're breaking women.
And you are creating a massive amount of resentment among the baiters who might have a chance if you'd zip it up and keep it home once in a fucking while.
Right?
I mean, if the alphas had dried up, you'd have looked for other alternatives.
I hope that those alternatives would have been better.
But there was a steady conveyor belt of penises you could go to, right?
Eeny, meeny, miny.
More.
Right?
Yeah.
And seriously, I mean, maybe there's more variety among penises than vaginas.
I don't know.
I don't know because, you know, the only forest of penises I've ever been exposed to is in the locker room and I can't tell because, of course, nobody's erect and I ain't looking.
Right.
But tell me, was there enough variety that it made it worthwhile?
No.
I mean, that's not an issue.
It had nothing to do with guys' penises.
Yeah, the vagina swells or shrinks to accommodate.
And the other thing, too, is that...
Generally, the longer you play tennis with someone, the more fun the game is because you get to know each other's things, right?
And so the longer you're in a stable sexual relationship, the better the sex becomes because you kind of know what to do, right?
Right.
Here's where I open the banana without using hands, right?
Whatever it's going to be.
Yeah.
And so that's a missing two.
So for guys, you know, you've got to grit your teeth and you've got to stay home.
Or you've got to find a girl and stick to her.
Because when you go out and just start pulling all this V, you're taking it out of circulation for others and you're breaking it badly to the point where it can't settle down, right?
You don't have kids.
You're not likely to have kids.
Which means that civilization...
I mean, this is part of the demographic winter, right?
A lot of it has to do with alpha males Out there breaking women with their cocks.
And that means that the women are less likely to settle down, less likely to have kids, less likely to be able to sustain a relationship.
Which means that there just aren't enough taxpayers around.
Which means that, hey, import third world migrants.
No problem.
They'll fit in just fine.
So, you know, I... Crab, a lot of women, and I feel a huge amount of sympathy for you in this life, in this situation.
You say you're not a big fan of therapy?
Not really, no.
Yeah, I would argue that you should be, and it would be a great investment.
I don't think that there's any reason you should cross your legs and say, I will never be touched in romantic affection ever again for the next 50 years.
In a half century...
Of no one to cuddle.
Hey, mom's gonna die.
You know that, right?
Oh, I know, yeah.
And I'm telling you, I have seen the people who are facing the past.
I have seen the people who are walking into the future facing the wrong way.
And their parents die.
And they are left in their 50s with 30 or 40 years to go.
And no one around.
That's going to be me?
Doesn't have to be.
Doesn't have to be.
Right.
Doesn't have to be.
But to do that, you're going to have to peel yourself off your final drug, which is your mom.
And that doesn't mean don't have a relationship with her.
I'm not saying anything like that.
Yeah.
But you need to have a realistic assessment of her pluses and minuses.
And right now, I would assume because of early attachment issues, you are unable to criticize or view your mother objectively, which means you have to live in a land of self-denial and delusion, which causes you to falsify your existence.
Why do you manipulate men?
Because you manipulate yourself with regards to your mother.
Why can you not tell the truth to men?
Because you can't tell the truth to yourself about your mother, her pluses and her minuses.
Because when you listen back to this, and I hope that you will, you will see every single time I've brought up something that might be even mildly critical of your mother, boom!
You're like a ninja.
Right?
Yeah.
So you're manipulating yourself with regards to your mother.
Your mother is not uninvolved in the disasters of your life, my friend.
I'm not saying she's 150% responsible, but she's not uninvolved.
She made choices.
And she kind of set you adrift in a sea of semen without telling you that goes over a waterfall onto rocks.
And there are things to criticize.
And as someone who takes criticism and values it, she'll survive.
And you'll survive And if you have a direct and honest relationship with your mother, you won't feel as much of an impulse to falsify your existence to others and you will be able to sustain a relationship.
You can't sustain a relationship if it's based on manipulation and falsehood because it's tiring.
Yes.
It's tiring.
It's exhausting.
And when you get exhausted and you feel unconnected, you have compulsive sex and To overcome the exhaustion and pretend you have intimacy.
And that wears away at any foundation of the relationship until everybody just gives up.
You know, if somebody tells you to play tennis with an anvil, you might haul it around for a while, but eventually you're just going to wander off.
Who's hiring?
We can never be more honest with someone than we are with ourselves.
We can never be more honest with someone than we are with regards to our parents.
And if you cannot look clearly at the pluses and minuses of your mother and your father, but mostly your mother because she chose your father.
But your father is important in this as well.
But if you can't have a clear-eyed view of her, and if you're censored with regards to her, listen, she had 41 years to intervene, my friend.
She at least had 30 years since you hit puberty to intervene, to do something, to say something, to help you.
Avoid making the mistakes that she's made.
And in some ways, her lack of doing that has caused you to make even more mistakes than she made because at least she had you, but you have no one when she's gone.
Right.
So she gets companionship to the grave.
Who's going to be there for you when you get that phone call from the doctor that says, my dear, this shadow on the x-ray is what will kill you.
And it's going to take six months or it's going to take a year.
But this mammogram came back.
You're positive.
It's untreatable.
This is what's going to kill you.
And you've got six months or you've got a year or you've got two years or you've got five years.
I don't know.
Your mother has someone who's going to be with her.
Yep.
But unless you change, you won't.
And that is a shitty way to leave the stage.
But if you go to therapy and you get a good therapist and you do the work, it doesn't have to be that way.
Okay.
I really appreciate your insight.
You sound like I just cratered you like Bambi meets Godzilla here.
Well, I mean, when you brought up losing my mom, it's actually been, even though she's healthy right now, it's something that's been on my mind that I feel like my world will fall apart when she's gone, and it shouldn't be that way.
I mean, yeah, people grieve, but I shouldn't feel like my entire world just dies with her.
The man I know whose mother died, he said he could feel his heart turning to stone on her deathbed.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I would have, I mean, I'd get some therapy and I'd, you know, it's not like you're spending money on kids, right?
So I'd get some therapy and I'd talk to my mom and these are things I would do.
I mean, I hope that you'll mull it over and I really, really appreciate the call and I really appreciate you putting yourself forward as an example.
That takes a lot of courage and I appreciate that.
Thank you, Stefan.
Appreciate it.
Thank you very much.
Bye-bye.
Take care.
Alright, up next is James.
James wrote in and said, That's from James.
Hey James, how you doing?
Hello, hello, hello.
I'm well, Mr.
Molyneux.
Mr.
Molyneux?
I used to say, Mr.
Molyneux is my father, but I can't really say that now.
This is the year I turned 50!
Alright.
Alright.
Anyway.
I'll continue.
Yeah, you're screwed.
No, listen.
What was the last movie that you saw that...
Gave you a positive vibe from a value standpoint?
Like philosophically, morally, something where you were like, mmm!
Good stuff!
None, unfortunately.
That's none, right?
Okay.
Right.
And that is the reality of the situation, right?
You have empty-headed violence for men and empty-handed sentimentality for women.
Well, I don't really consider that an issue.
In my honest opinion, I do believe that there needs to be a balance of sorts.
You can have mindless entertainment, but there needs to be some more Kubrick-esque, intellectually stimulating works.
And which of Kubrick's films would you consider the most intellectually stimulating?
That's quite difficult, to be frank.
Or one that is.
It doesn't have to be number one, but one that you would consider intellectually stimulating.
2001, A Space Odyssey.
Somewhat of a cliche answer, but I've...
Okay, and what did you find intellectually stimulating about 2001?
Well, more so Kubrick's predictions for...
Well, not predictions per se, but I was very fond of...
His view of humanity's future.
It wasn't as negative or as pessimistic.
I mean, I understand that when it comes to...
Wait, giant space baby is a positive view of humanity's future?
I'm not sure I follow.
Well, it's a metaphor.
You see, the child...
A metaphor for what?
That humanity is ready to evolve and proceed into the next step of evolution.
Okay, so what was the next step of evolution?
That, well...
There's no philosophy in 2001.
I've watched the movie a couple of times, and I like Stanley Kubrick as a whole.
Um...
His attention to detail and the painstaking emotional recreation of states of mind, I find fascinating.
But there's no philosophy in his stories.
I mean, I've read the novel 2001, which was, of course, one of Arthur C. Clarke's masterpieces.
But there's no philosophy.
We found...
Sorry, spoiler, it's okay.
The movie's way old.
But the music's fantastic.
Also, Spack Zarathustra.
But...
There's no philosophy in the movie at all.
We found something.
It leads to an incomprehensible old guy and a space baby.
I mean, any depth or power in it is only projected by the audience and is not contained within the film in any way, shape, or form, in my opinion.
Because it's like, well, we're ready to evolve.
To what?
Giant amniotic space babies.
How the fuck does that help me make a better world tomorrow?
And the evolution involves no self-knowledge, no conflict.
It's a drug trip.
And an ultrasound.
I'm happy to be contradicted.
I just...
I don't see it.
I thought the special effects were fantastic.
But, I mean, certainly for the time.
And this bit where he's running around and around inside the spaceship.
Great!
And when I first bought the tickets, I stayed to watch it twice.
I was just like, wow!
That's cool!
But the idea that there's any kind of philosophy behind it?
Well...
It's like saying that there's some sort of psychology in The Shining.
Or, you know, I mean, some sort of geopolitical statement in Dr.
Strangelove.
You can't fight in here!
This is the war room!
It's kind of funny.
The hell does it mean?
It's just funny, that's all.
Did it tell anyone how to solve any of these problems?
Did it even identify the problems?
Look, if you want to start talking about self, like improvement or evolution in humanity, people falling into a box of stars and coming out as a glowing space baby, I don't know.
How about talking about child abuse?
How about talking about self-knowledge?
How about talking about rationality?
How about talking about race and IQ? How about talking about God, anything, anything that has any relevance to the actual improvement?
How about talking about the free market?
How about talking about communism or socialism or central planning?
Anything.
And all of these are incredibly emotionally charged topics if you want them to be.
They can be.
It's just that the average viewer won't...
Well, a few issues with those topics is that, with regard to race and IQ, even though I do find your videos and discussions with other professors on that topic to be very interesting, you know how controversial that sort of topic would be with mainstream audiences.
It wouldn't be controversial.
It would be hated.
Controversial is, wow, I can see both sides, or there's this side strong, and this side strong, and they oppose.
It's not controversial.
Well, wouldn't the film show that point of view?
Well, yeah, but it would just be panned, and it would be a hate film, right?
I mean, it wouldn't be controversial insofar as it would never get made.
I mean, there's a reason why, when Ben Affleck is on the Bill Maher show, that he's not willing to diss Islam.
Because he's a bankable movie star with a worldwide audience and he wants to sell his films in Islamic countries.
Right?
So...
Who would make it?
Who would...
Right?
Like, why aren't there many anti-union films?
Because you need unions to make the film.
Why aren't there many anti-government films?
Because the movie industry is heavily subsidized by tax breaks.
Why aren't there a lot of anti-military films?
Because you need the participation of the military to make the film.
It's all propaganda.
It's all about the avoidance of important issues.
Like, what the fuck has this space baby ever done for you in terms of making your life better and giving you the capacity to make rational choices or know and act on useful information?
Well, if I'm being honest, it hasn't done much.
However, it...
No, no.
Much?
Okay.
So it's done something.
And what has it done?
It's very...
Minimal, I would say.
Okay, so it's minimal.
So what has it done?
It's lifted my spirits.
The fact that there was a positive message behind the film to begin with that Kubrick even had...
What could you do?
Because, you see, if it's a positive message and you can't do anything, it actually makes you lazy.
Oh, we're just going to evolve because space obelisk.
So I don't have to do anything.
I don't have to talk to people about not hitting their kids.
I don't have to talk to people about race and IQ. I don't have to talk to people about the free market.
I don't have to talk to people about the evils of the welfare state because the moon is going to shit a fetus that's going to float around the planet sucking its thumb and it's going to be great.
How many people actually dedicated themselves to spreading truth, reason, and evidence as a result of Stanley Kubrick films?
That answer?
Here's Johnny.
Zero.
Zero.
And that's the point.
It's supposed to convince you that some good shit's going to happen that you don't have to make happen, which makes you passive, which makes entropy...
Although I will say that I just watched it the other day by chance, sort of the drill sergeant instructor in Full Metal Jacket.
Is like shockingly and horrifyingly funny.
And I know that's actually the guy.
He was supposed to be there.
It was a drill sergeant who was bought into as a technical consultant, but he ended up doing the whole thing.
And it is shockingly funny.
And it says something about what is necessary for cohesive and dedicated masculinity.
But that's the topic for another time.
If, you know, I was thinking maybe I should just Do philosophy boot camp that way.
But people would faint.
So you tell me a movie that has made you want to do something good or do something great and you've actually done it.
If I'm going to be frank, no film has done that for me.
I've had a few, maybe just because I'm older, but...
Anthony Hopkins' The Good Father made me terrified of emotional dissociation.
I won't get into all the films that have influenced me, but it can happen.
It's very rare, and it's usually, I think, largely unintentional, but there's a reason why.
There's nothing of any consequence.
When I first went to go, and I've done a whole movie review of Fight Club, but when I first went to go and see Fight Club, it was when I was battling in the depths of massive insomnia.
And there were just a few things in Fight Club where it's like, oasis in a desert, oasis in a desert.
We're a generation of men raised by women.
I don't really think that another woman is what we need.
A generation of men raised by women.
Boom!
Thanks, Chuck!
One of the few times I've seen the movie, then read the book.
But these tiny little grains.
But what came out of Fight Club that you could act on?
Nothing.
Nothing.
I mean...
There's a lack of a call to action, so to speak.
There's a lack of...
Yeah.
...motivation.
Some could argue that the purpose of film is not really to...
I mean, it's part of the entertainment industry for a reason, and many would argue that its purpose is not to intellectually stimulate, per se, but it's more just to waste a few hours.
But that's not how art used to be.
No.
I mean, look at Shakespeare.
I mean, the amount of depth and power, and to some degree, actionability in Shakespeare.
And again, you know, comparing artists to Shakespeare is a little tricky.
Like here, okay, here's a quote from Shakespeare, from Julius Caesar.
This is to you, Europe.
Julius Caesar says...
But woe the while, our father's minds are dead, and we are governed with our mother's spirits.
Our yoke and sufferance show us womanish.
But woe the while, our father's minds are dead, and we are governed with our mother's spirits.
Our yoke and sufferance show us womanish.
And you listen to my mail callers from Europe, and you tell me, Shakespeare was not a prognosticator of the 21st century.
He certainly was.
Well, not just Europe, but more so the West in general, I believe.
But once again, that's a topic for a different time.
One thing that I've also noticed is that As you've stated before, it's all propaganda these days, and to be frank, I find that to be very disheartening because...
I'm 19, as you know, and I don't think I'm particularly well-educated about the world.
I'm still learning the craft at this point, but...
To enter this industry and just have to be told what to do as if I'm some sort of sheep that...
I can't have a straight white male as my protagonist, otherwise I'm...
What?
Cisnormative, racist, sexist, all of that nonsense.
I mean, it was seen with, if I may use a video game as an example, Assassin's Creed Unity.
And I recall there was a lot of There was controversy surrounding that, more so...
I'm sorry, which was it?
Assassin's Creed Unity.
Yeah, the video game, okay.
Yes.
And I recall it was...
quite the storm, so to speak.
Just because in, let's say, the game's co-op mode, all of the character models were male.
SJWs and feminists began tossing the term sexist at the developers, and...
It's very infuriating to me, to be frank, that you can't have a majority white cast without being branded as a white supremacist these days.
It's almost discouraging, if I may be frank.
Yeah, it's supposed to be, right?
Like, whenever they criticize...
Too many whites.
What they're saying is that we want subsidies for non-whites.
I get that.
I understand that.
I mean, if I'm a non-white actor, I want to be hired.
However, right?
I mean, however.
It doesn't matter.
And...
The fact that this is just how it's done is perfectly natural.
Black actors want to get hired.
And maybe they don't want to do Sylvester Stallone and write their own great movies that people are going to want to see or whatever.
Yeah, it makes perfect sense to me.
But I mean, it's not right or fair.
But that's what you have to live with, right?
And of course, you know, the people should say, look...
I'll take great actors.
It was an open call.
These were the best actors.
If you want a black guy to get a part, tell him to take more acting classes.
Tell him to take more improv.
Tell him to be better.
And if he's not satisfied with the state of industry, tell him to write his own damn movies.
Of course.
I'm in agreement there.
They don't want to do that.
I mean, a lot of them, right?
Some do, right?
But they don't represent the majority, unfortunately.
And this is the joy of Gamergate, right?
Which may have been the time when we hit peak social justice warrior stuff, right?
The joy of Gamergate is basically...
It took a bunch of people to just basically tell the social justice warriors to go take a long walk off a short pier.
We don't care.
Well, when it came to the Gamergate...
Controversy.
I personally believe that we lost on that front because many major news outlets, Kotaku and such, were painting Gamer Gators as this group of misogynists, neckbeards, things of that nature.
And at the end of the day, it's the king that wins.
The house, no, that terrible comparison, but...
Well, hang on a sec.
I mean, are you going to say in the age of Donald Trump that political correctness always wins?
You've got to be kidding me.
Well, no.
And...
No, it doesn't.
But it's in a great position of power, I would say.
Yeah, yeah.
So what?
I mean, look, if you...
If you care that much about it, then the fight is not for you.
Right?
Right?
I... I have nothing more to say.
Let me give you a speech, because, you know, I started off a...
A short story writer, a poet, a novelist, a playwright.
I mean, fiction was my thing.
And I took a writing course, one of the best writing courses.
Well, I was in National Theatre School for Playwriting, and then I took a writing course, one of the best writing courses in Canada, and wrote a novel, and had a pretty good mentor.
And the novel was praised as the great Canadian novel, and I thought this was going to be my ticket.
And it's a great novel.
You can get it at freedomainradio.com.
It's called The God of Atheists.
And I'm incredibly proud of it, and I think it's a wonderful book.
It was better before I tried to cut it down for popularity's sake, but I still have all the original somewhere.
But anyway...
It never got anywhere because it has meaning and depth and philosophy and not like, you know, motorcycle maintenance, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance quote philosophy, but, you know, it's got real thoughts in it.
And again, it was very highly praised.
I'll give you a page or two from it.
And this is a nihilist.
It's funny, you know, because I wrote the novel, gosh, early 2000s, And in it, one of the main characters has a podcast.
And podcasts didn't even exist in 2000 and 2001.
And it was just funny to me that one of the central things was a guy who talks into his webcam and And publishes it online, and people start listening to it, and it starts to really change people.
This is, of course, many years before I did anything, or many years before the technology, and this is before XML and all of the distribution of all of this stuff became possible.
Anyway, so this is chapter 60.
This guy called the Babelfish, because he's able to translate Normal speak into postmodernism and vice versa, and it's evil speaking in tongues things, and I get that from Douglas Adams, of course.
And this is one of his podcasts, one of his speeches.
Chapter 60, The Babelfish Speaks.
Rudy was not an absolutist, but something about Gordon had gotten to him.
One night, when he just couldn't sleep, he got up and spoke the following into his computer.
I know it's all bullshit, but it stinks anyway.
I sometimes feel the most god-awful depression, not in my soul, because that's been deconstructed, nor in my loins, which are the keystone of my male dominance, nor in my heart, which is damned off by Western materialism, but somewhere important in my being, somewhere down in the marrow, something is clamoring at me.
I know it's all the kind of shell game, and I need to spend every waking hour cursing, spitting on, and undermining my culture, all in the hopes of being paid a middle-class salary to teach those who come after me to do the same.
But there's something about all this mess, and come on, people, admit it.
It is a mess.
Something we need to look at a bit more carefully.
A lot of you out there have been helped by me.
Sent you off into the deserts of your theses, armed with just enough food and water to get back if you rationed yourself fiercely.
I always knew that there was nothing in my advice.
I've always just had a knack for wet-fingering the prevailing social winds.
But there is something in me, something...
I want to know where the winds come from.
It's all very Magellan and Peter Pan, but...
There it is.
You know, something recently came to me, and I had what I could really call a great idea.
This thing would blow your minds, people, but it has no hope of getting anywhere here.
He's talking about university.
I tried upshifting it into postmodernism, but I couldn't.
Brothers and sisters, I just couldn't.
For the first time in my life, I was unable to translate something alive into POMO, which I now classify as a dead language like Latin.
POMO, postmodernism, cannot contain this great idea.
All it can contain is what we already believe, which is that there is nothing to believe.
And we are so certain that there is nothing to believe.
We think we are open-minded, but it's just slack emptiness.
We hate anyone who's certain.
We do, my brothers, in the secret vessels of our hearts.
We hate certainty and confidence and love cynicism and empty charm.
We're so funny we are.
We know all the hideous recesses of modern culture.
We sing of obscure things, and in so doing we say that what is important is not truth or courage or nobility, but the theme song from some 1950s sitcom.
We are a cancer in the throat of the modern world.
We have invented a language through which we cannot be detected.
We have swarmed the halls of academia, camping in the highest places of thought in our cluttered and twisted, tense cities.
We carry a self-hatred so deep we cannot see it not in ourselves and not in others.
We go through each day like a pantomime.
We are scared of shadows in the halls and hate the world for not making our lies true.
We ask every question except are we right?
What if the world really does exist?
What if language is supposed to have meaning?
What if there are such things as truth and goodness?
Where in that shining city is there room for us rodents?
Every time an anchor is thrown overboard we chew at the rope.
Every time a man reaches up to climb We attack his ankles.
We are a pestilence of perfection.
We live for finding flaws.
Every advantage, every virtue is eclipsed by a deficiency.
We cripple heroes for their tiny flaws.
Our standards are not goals, but weapons.
We are an acid.
We undermine what we cannot achieve.
We shadowbox our enemies into exhaustion.
We feed on the natural doubt of the honest thinker.
We never prove.
We only imply.
We never say, just infer.
We never explain, just embarrass.
And none of us, none of us, has any idea what truth is.
We have no clue what we're saying.
We just play with the words.
We accept without thought.
We parade for each other, pretending at rebellion, but we never challenge and are never exposed.
We are paid to be thinkers, but never come to any conclusion.
When society picks its teams, we're not even picked last.
We don't even know where the field is.
We may as well be on the dark side of the moon making hand gestures in spacesuits, our faceplates painted over.
We have no utility and so are nothing but arrogance.
We have no truth and so are nothing but scornful assertion.
We have no honor.
So are self-righteous, backstabbing villains.
We have no purpose, so we scorn all certainty.
We make all the noise we can to cover up our awful silence.
We bite the hand that feeds us and call it education.
We corrupt the young and call it education.
We erode the foundations of our society and call it education.
We only criticize and call it education.
We work for evil and call it education.
We are the hateful kid who dares the honest kid to strike him.
We are the natural plagues of society, invading a society unaware of our danger.
We have taken over the pillars of learning, the first and last defenses, and now slither through the shadows of the last days.
The entire point of our lives is hiding.
We are ghosts, visible only in clanks and shadows.
We damn truth, because truth would damn us.
What was our birthing?
Why are we drawn to speak of ideas that we believe don't exist?
Why do we lower the earth to make a false tower?
I think it is quite simple.
Well, at least it was in my case.
I was curious.
I asked so many questions.
For every child, a question stops somewhere.
The sky is blue because of X. X is because of Y. Y from Z. Z just is.
I was never happy with that end point.
Always and forever.
They had to be something more.
But that's at the very edge of society, of family, of loved ones near and dear.
To sail beyond visible land requires more navigation than I possessed.
The why of what is right is what everything is built on.
If you sail beyond that, if you take one step past the painted horizon, then you dissolve into air.
And that is where real terror lies.
We're social beings, but we're also beings who yearn for truth.
I yearned for truth and I went that one step past the line of no more.
And so society dissolved.
My family, which was my society at the time, sifted into puffs of dust.
My father's authority, nothing.
He did not know what or why he ordered.
My mother's heart, she loved and grieved for what she did not understand.
I became arrogant.
I believed that I had gone past all trappings into the truth, which was that everything is will.
I was ordered for the sake of order.
There was nothing of my benefit in it, any of it.
I must wear a coat when it's cold.
But to apologize for speaking out of turn?
To not shoplift?
Lie?
Not lie?
Good God!
My parents told me not to lie while having no idea why lying was wrong.
It hurt people.
My father is a dentist.
Is there a worse lie than punishing for lying without knowing why it is wrong?
So rather than being instructed, I was just being commanded.
It was a dare, the crying of uncle under a bully's knee.
No one had any real idea why I should or shouldn't do things.
It was habit, convenience, ah, and power, of course.
Always power.
And I wouldn't have minded even that, except that it was...
It was a coward's power.
A bully is more honest.
You can hate the bully.
He doesn't pretend to represent right.
But my father, my teachers, all our petty little leaders, they all said, submit to the good.
Not me.
But then when I asked, they had no idea what the good was.
So what the fuck was it but power?
So...
To hell with it.
My heart...
Becomes a thin desert of stark shadows.
Anyone who claims right is now my enemy.
Every fuck who pumps and preens and drapes pretty ethics on the thick shit of power is my eternal foe.
I will rip the gilding from every empty altar.
I will become cancer to see if the body should live.
I was not alone in this attack.
I thought I was, but to my left and right was a sea of ghost writers.
We all sensed something false and self-serving.
It was all a form of advertising.
This or that is no more right than Coke or Pepsi.
Every pronouncement is propaganda.
I hoped I was wrong.
This was our great secret, and who among us would not welcome the restoration of righteousness?
If there is such a thing as goodness, then our parents are saved, the world is saved, we are saved.
Even if they didn't understand why, they still did the good, and all is not power and control.
But we cannot find goodness.
It is gone from our times.
It has been emptied from the words of our elders.
We have been fooled once.
We are now hardened against trust.
But in our hatred, have we just lost the capacity to keep looking?
We fell from illusion because we demanded truth.
Have we now lost even the possibility of looking for truth?
We have learned that leeches made us sick, now we say.
That all medicine is without worth, yet still we study to be healers.
We have become what we despised in our pursuit of predators.
We have become nothing but teeth and claws.
We say we don't believe in truth, but pursue knowledge nonetheless.
We have become as false as those whose blindness first spurred us on this path.
They said, this is the good, but knew nothing of right.
We say, this is knowledge, but know nothing of truth.
But we may be wrong, brothers and sisters.
This path we walked past the line of nothing more.
This path that has led into the grey desert of indifferent opinions, where we can only nod at each other in silent passing.
This path may have become something we defend as our very homes, not as a route, To something else.
We found our maps were false and we became lost.
Is our journey now to defend our disorientation?
Would we rather curse all maps and stay lost?
Do we love our false lessons so much that we will falsify the world to save them?
Maybe.
I don't know.
Maybe it was a false line, that line from false to nothing.
False, yes, it was all bullshit.
But that doesn't mean that it always must be bullshit.
If we've given up looking for truth, let's all just turn in our library cards, Empty our cubicles, rise up from our basement bedrooms, take the jobs our training has prepared us for, and say with one proud, honest, accurate voice, would you like fries with that?
All right, and move on to the next caller, but that's the art I couldn't get past.
The censors, if you have better luck, let me know.
Thank you.
Alright, up next is Joseph.
He wrote in and said, I am a second-generation immigrant born in the United States.
I've lived here my whole life, I speak English, and at a glance, I'm virtually indistinguishable among my peers, and my family has effectively integrated.
But despite it all, I don't feel like I belong, especially amongst my peers.
Why do I feel like this?
That's from Joseph.
Well, hello, Joseph.
How are you doing tonight?
Hey Stefan, it's great to finally talk to you and thanks to Mike for making this possible.
I agree, I agree.
Alright.
So, would you say second generation immigrant born in the US, but where are you from?
Both my parents are from Russia and the former Soviet Union.
So, they both came over together and kind of set up here.
I was born here in the U.S., but my father has a big family, so they moved in a big sweep.
They're all in the general vicinity of each other, but we still kind of carry that Russian identity, but outside of home, it's all English.
Everybody, you know, it's...
You know, I'm white and stuff, so you can't really tell the difference between me and somebody else.
Dude, you sound like you just got the worst fucking news of your life right before this call.
Are you okay?
I'm a little nervous.
You sound very Russian, is what I'm gonna tell you.
I'm a little nervous, yeah.
Well, tell me about how you feel first, because I don't want to swamp over the feelings to get to the ideas.
Yeah, this is a kind of important question.
I've been thinking about it for a little while.
And it's come up a little bit more recently on a The question or more of the thought came up last year, my junior year, toward the end of the year, where I started thinking like, well, I guess I can kind of go into the origin of the question that might kind of help clear things up.
I'm a good-looking guy.
I'd say I'm about an 8 out of 10 solid.
I'm pretty confident.
I started thinking to myself, why am I not getting any girls or whatever, so to speak?
I eventually wanted to answer that question for myself.
I found myself going down the rabbit hole.
So to speak.
I found out I was being lied to, which lids up more questions.
Lied to about what?
Like a woman in a, you know, like a society.
I wasn't...
I realized what was going on around me, what I was doing wrong.
I wouldn't say a nice guy, but I was in that gray region where everybody around me seemed to be doing things and I wasn't sure if I was doing it right or going about it the right way.
And anyway, I continued.
I started looking around.
Basically, I woke up.
I took the red pill.
And I started noticing these things around me.
And I noticed I was very different than everybody around me.
I mentioned in my question, I mentioned being a second-generation immigrant, meaning both parents from a different place, but me here.
I mentioned that because that was one of my possible hypotheses for me feeling this way, but it could be from something else.
I thought it might be an IQ gap or something, and I found out my IQ, it was a Between the 120 and 130 range, so it was a little bit above average.
Oh no, that's quite a bit above average, but go on.
I didn't think it was that, because what led me to this, where I'm at right now, and overall this question, is I noticed different family values than people around me.
And I do have some good friends, but they're far different than...
I often find myself disagreeing on certain issues.
I'm thinking it might have to do something with in-group preference.
I do kind of notice that in myself.
I think that might be the direction, but it could definitely be something else like the way I was raised or Other influences.
Both my parents, they are together, in contrast to many of my friends.
I apologize if this isn't No, no, it's fine.
Do you want me to ask?
I mean, I have a couple of thoughts.
If you'd like me to ask some questions, I'm happy to keep listening.
I'll kind of wrap this up.
I'm more so looking for your insight because I've been thinking about this for a long time.
I have had So I went down the rabbit hole, basically, and when I found your channel, your information, it was kind of like an oasis for me.
Different ideas I really liked and I appreciate, again, the work you and Mike do.
I started listening to these things and, you know, new ideas.
I believe you mentioned this before, but I felt like, you know, I was unlocking new rooms in the dungeon.
Like, this was kept for me, like, you know, race and whatever.
These major topics I never thought about before.
And they got unlocked to me.
And it was like the perception of the world I had was...
It seemed to be falling apart as I was looking around.
The very simple things that people did around me I became aware of.
So, I'm pretty young, so the...
You know, the whole get the girl kind of mentality is still very prevalent among peers.
My guess would be something like this.
Let me ask you this.
Okay.
What do you think the world is going to look like in five or ten years?
It's going to be much different than it is now.
How so?
Well...
I believe that issues going on in Europe, things are, well, maybe not everywhere, but I know some things are going to change.
I mean, I know.
No, you've got to speed things up a little bit.
I know you're nervous and all that, but just answer directly.
What's going to happen in Europe, do you think?
Or what's the worst case scenario of what could happen in Europe over five to ten years?
I think there's going to be a war probably in the southern area, Middle East.
I think some conflicts are going to arise.
I don't know how that's going to affect the U.S., but that's, I think, 100%.
Okay, so you've got a lot on your mind.
Yeah.
I mean, you've got a Russian background, and if conflict does break out in Europe, I don't know the degree to which European men are going to be willing to fight, but I can guarantee you that Russia is not going to let people from the Middle East get a hold or get control of weapons of mass destruction in Europe.
Yeah.
I mean, Putin doesn't have to worry a whole lot about politically correct whining and rules of engagement or anything like that, right?
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, when I was talking about America and urban combat, that America wasn't particularly good at urban combat, and my sort of recent show on that, I did get a bunch of military men write to me and say, you're wrong.
America's fantastic at urban combat.
It's just that the rules of engagement tied our hands up so much that we couldn't win.
And then we did stabilize Iraq, but then Obama pulled the troops out after announcing all the troop withdrawals ahead of time.
And, oh, man.
The Democrats are fantastic at squandering wars.
Well, they are selected, so they want case-elected people to die for no reason.
So it takes...
Democrats to lose Vietnam.
Democrats to lose Iraq and not finish the job in Kuwait.
Anyway, so...
But of course, the reality is that the fact that America has civilian commanders who will sometimes be Democrats, and I mean, Republicans have their issues too, but that's part of the American military.
So saying the American military is really good at urban combat, except for the fact that the people in charge make America fight badly, well, that's part of America's fighting.
I mean, I get that.
It's still part of the equation.
You know, like I could run really fast if it didn't have an anvil tied to me.
Yeah, but you do.
So you can't move very fast.
So, I mean, for sure, Russia is going to have something to say about...
Anything that goes on that way.
It's just that I doubt if, I guess for the third time in 100 years, Russia is going to have to squander a bunch of people rescuing Europe, I doubt they'll leave again, and that will be the price of political correctness.
But anyway, that's a topic for another time.
So you have a bunch of stuff on your mind about the future, and you're not like, you know, tits and beer, and sports, and sit-ups, and, right?
Of case-selected timeframes, right?
In that you can sense dangers, you can see dangers as a good case-selected person, which I'm going to assume is a default orientation for the genetics of our listeners.
So you're case-selected, which means you're concerned about things that other people aren't even aware of.
And that is, it's like you're an immigrant from the future and you have seen the visions of what can go wrong.
And you're trying to fit into a world where people think, Nothing is wrong.
You know, it's tough to enjoy a party with a tiger in the room that no one else can see, but it's real.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, I think you nailed it.
That's exactly how I feel.
And then to add to what you just said, one of the reasons my family did move is to escape like a forced military service that's required over there.
My dad went through it and I helped my uncles, other relatives, either through it or partially, and that was one of the motivations to leave.
Right.
And if there is to be any kind of conflict, let's just say that political correctness leads to conflict of whatever kind, and let's say there needs to be a draft.
I'm not a big one for passing laws, as you can imagine, but in idle moments I have Entertained the thought that one thing that would be just would be that anybody who warned of the danger is exempt from the draft.
Right?
So if you were on social media warning about the dangers, you're exempt from the draft.
And if you were on social media, attacking people or denying the danger, attacking anyone who warned of the danger or denying the danger, guess what?
You get some combat boots and a gun.
Off you go!
And that would, of course, have some consequences, but that's generally not the way it works.
Our selected people screw up the world and K-selected people ride to their deaths.
That's why our selected people screw up the world, so that they...
They can go get a bunch of K's killed.
That's what we've seen in the Gene Wars presentation, so it is a challenge.
Do you think the fundamental difference between myself and those around me is the R and K separation?
It's not a bad place to start, and however you want to characterize it, you are...
I mean, are a lot of your friends concerned about this stuff?
Not really.
Some of my closest friends, they're kind of a contrast for me.
They're like a goth, socialist kind of.
They're a lot like me in that they go against the norms, I guess, but there's kind of a different mentality.
I think that's what you just mentioned.
Right.
So I don't believe that the future is inevitable.
You know, we're in a car heading towards a cliff.
We're not off the cliff.
So the knowledge of doom, it can paralyze you, which is what doom wants.
Doom wants to paralyze you so it can roll over you unobstructed and everyone you...
Love and care about and your future and your children.
So Doom wants to paralyze you with its awesome visage and its giant terrifying face.
I am but a leaf and it is a tornado.
That's what Doom wants to do but you have to be bigger than Doom.
You have to rise above the size of the demon that stares you down.
You have to be bigger than disaster.
You have to be bigger than inevitability.
You have to be stronger than the giant tombstone dominoes Rippling their way down towards you.
And willing yourself to be that size goes against the virtue of humility that allows you to see the disaster.
This is the great challenge.
It is humility.
Megalomaniacs always think that they can escape disaster.
It is humility that says, well, disaster could come.
Disaster is likely.
Disaster has historical precedent.
Disaster is just a photocopy of the last 60 photocopies.
And so you have to have humility to understand disaster is coming, and then when you see it coming, you have to shrug aside that humility and become big enough to stop it.
And it's a tall order, literally.
You've got to be tall.
You've got to be huge.
In other words, and the bigger the disaster you see coming, the bigger you need to be to try and push it back.
And that is a hard, hard thing to do, right?
To be a young man.
Among friends who don't see the danger, among a culture that doesn't see the danger, amongst an entire art structure and political structure bar one person who is resolutely opposed to even discussing the possibility of disaster and to be attacked as a horrible person for even mentioning the possibility of disaster is a very tall order.
But Joan of Arc did her thing and now it's our turn.
Yeah, exactly.
My friends, they let me talk, but at the end of the day, it's like, oh yeah, Joe's doing his thing.
He's talking about the immigrants again.
Yeah, and so, I mean, the challenge is that when you try to grow, everyone around you, a lot of people around you, will often try and pull you down.
What they do is they try to get you to view yourself at an ironic distance.
Do you ever listen to yourself?
Look at yourself, man, it's crazy.
They try to get you to detach from yourself and look at yourself with ironic and belittling distance.
and that's how they try to keep you small.
And I mean, this is part of the potential suicide of Europe.
Why is all this happening?
Because, well, I think that people have done so much wrong and been so cuckish and been so hedonistic and been so shallow and been so horrible, right?
Modern culture in the West just runs on a vicious pattern of verbal abuse and verbal abusers are horrible people.
And in order to save your civilization, in order to save yourself, you have to have respect for yourself, you have to love for yourself, and you have to treasure who you are and what your ancestors have built.
And I think a lot of people in Europe, honestly, deep down, I think they want to die.
I think that they have lived such horrible lives of conformity and abuse that it sort of reminds me of Jung.
In one of his books was talking to a friend of his and his friend was saying, you like dreams, right?
You know, I keep having this dream every night and the dream is that I'm climbing a mountain and I keep climbing and I keep climbing and I climb above the clouds and then I climb above the mountain and I'm above the clouds, above the mountain and I'm just walking up and walking up on air.
Into the very heart of the sunrise.
And Jung says, you actually climb mountains in real life, right?
The guy says, yeah.
Jung says, listen, you better come and see me.
Because that is a death wish.
And the man, don't be ridiculous.
I'm just dreaming of flying, that's all.
And a month or two later...
The man fell off the mountain because he was climbing too high without oxygen and he died.
Ah, the death wish.
Eros and Thanatos.
Love and death.
Life and suicide.
And I don't think that the Europeans have been acting nobly enough, defensively enough, bravely enough, strongly enough to find life A joy to be defended.
A flower to be sheltered.
A gallery of beauty to be protected.
I think that they have become like that horrid caricature of the harpy.
You know, the woman who is fat, unkempt, disheveled, hateful, screaming insults and abuse at her husband until he cracks her one in the face.
And then she gets this twisted, maniacal satisfaction and hatred, and I think it has become that self-destructive for a lot of people in Europe.
They have no virtue in themselves to save, and they've acted in such horribly destructive ways.
To those who are trying to tell the truth to them, that I think it is a form of They think it's climbing the mountain to a new height, but the reality is that gravity will topple them.
And I think they know that deep down.
I mean, people can't act in this way and expect anything different in the long run.
So you can see things that other people can't.
You can see dangers that other people can't.
And they mock you for it.
And they try to keep you down for it.
And they, oh, it's just his thing.
You know, he just does this paranoid thing.
It's his gig, you know.
Like it's just some little personal twitch that you have.
You know, you are...
You had Churchill in the 30s, right?
Well, another thing I... I'm glad you brought that up because another thing I wanted to touch upon maybe is...
I know before you mentioned the regression to the mean and how sometimes the kids of immigrants, they bring themselves back to Their home country and things like that.
After I kind of listened to that, That was one of the things that kind of inspired me to call in.
But you need some of the Russian spirit.
Don't you think?
Yes, yes.
I find myself kind of the opposite of what you just mentioned about Europe.
I'm proud of my heritage.
Yeah, and Russia has terrible problems.
They have a very low birth rate.
They have significant alcoholism, but they have resolution, and they have a certain kind of clarity.
And I don't know enough about Russia to know the entire ideology of that, but I would assume it has something to do with having barely survived communism.
They have a kind of impatience and a clarity regarding totalitarian ideologies.
Oh, yeah.
Sometimes I, you know, when people bring up that argument, you know, like, do you know who you're talking to?
Kind of, I feel like my parents are from there.
We came over there.
They grew up there.
We came from there.
It seems very silly to me sometimes when people try to, you know, turn into an argument.
At least what their actual arguments are.
There's a cycle.
While we have a state, we will always have this cycle, and the cycle goes something like this.
Hard times, or bad times, better way.
Bad times make good people.
Bad times make strong people.
Bad times make strong people.
Strong people make good times.
Good times make weak people.
Weak people make bad times.
Or another way we've talked about before is civilization rises in hobnail boots and descends in silk slippers.
But there's this cycle.
When the predators have been banished, everyone forgets there are predators and wanders out into the jungle in marinade.
And then the predators We remember the predators and then we arm and we fight and intellectually we hope and we secure the camp and then people say, predators?
I haven't seen a predator around forever.
It's, you know, while we have a state, this is the pattern.
And You know, while we had slaves, we could never have an industrial revolution, and everybody was in this cycle of poverty.
And while we have a state, we will never be released from this cycle.
That bad times make strong people, strong people make good times, good times make weak people, weak people make bad times.
Round and round we go.
So you have the burden.
You have the burden of knowledge.
You're like the Cyclops in the movie Kroll.
They know The day and time of their own death.
And Russians are good at seeing danger coming because they have seen so much danger.
If it's all right, can I touch upon something else as well?
Yes, we'll have to make it a little brief, but go ahead.
I read C.S. Lewis's biography and ever since then I've kind of wanted to have what he had and like a group of friends that I can talk to these things about and I'm trying to work on that but I don't have a lot to work with, a lot of clay to sculpt.
I have one or two guys.
I feel like I'm having a breakthrough, but besides that, that's where I'm at.
It's very frustrating.
Sometimes in school, I just get frustrated at the end of the day, just observing our selective behavior.
At the point I'm at right now, I can kind of see right through it.
It's just a little heavy, like you said.
Just all of it.
Right.
Right.
The only thing that I can suggest is try to make yourself as public as possible and try and find friends that you can through visibility.
The idea that you're going to run into something like that.
Someone like that seems unlikely.
And, you know, I mean, I wouldn't have met Mike, who's a great friend of mine.
I wouldn't have met Mike if it hadn't been for doing my show, our show now.
And a lot of my other friends I have met through doing what I'm doing.
And if you can find a way to make yourself prominent, then you can find a way for like-minded people to find you.
But You know, expecting them to show up in your life somehow, I think is unlikely.
Okay.
I think that's what I need to hear.
Look, we all have this...
Oh, Mike, did you want to mention something about your emails?
This is probably one of the most common questions I get via email form, Joseph.
How do I find people that are like-minded?
How do I find people that I can, you know, similar values that I can spend time with?
So it's not just a problem that you're having.
Okay, good.
This seems to be something that is fairly common.
And, I mean, the only thing I could really add to what Steph said is, you know, it's like, if you want virtuous friends...
Be virtuous.
If you want brave friends, be brave.
If you want courageous friends, be courageous.
If you want interesting friends, be interesting.
If you want exciting friends, be exciting.
But be publicly so as well.
If you're hiding away in a dark corner and no one sees it, well, you're not going to draw any attention with it.
Okay.
My thirst is like, this is sort of when I was younger, Christopher Hitchens, Would have these dinners that I would have just given my left nut sack to get to, right?
So he'd have dinners with friends like Salman Rushdie and other people and all that.
And there's lots I disagree with with these people from a philosophical standpoint, but like Algonquin Roundtable witty fun games, right?
So this is a story from one night.
colleagues challenged their close friend, Solomon Rushdie, to state what a Shakespeare play would be called if Robert Ludlam had had the naming of it.
Right.
Robert Ludlam is like a spy thriller, novelist, the Bourne ultimatum, you know, that kind of stuff.
Right.
And what would you what would he call Shakespeare's plays?
And they only had a few seconds.
Right.
So, Hamlet became the Elsinore Vacillation.
Which, you know, Elsinore's the castle.
Macbeth was the Dunsinane Reforestation.
And that's because the forest comes to...
Anyway, it's really funny.
The Merchant of Venice became the Rialto Sanction.
And Othello, the Kerchief Implication.
And, um...
Let's see, another guy came up with...
Hamlet becomes the Denmark Retribution.
The Aviator becomes the Hughes Derangement.
The Terminator is the Connor preservation, and Taxi Driver is the Bickle permutation.
And I just think that's...
We can put the link.
I'll put the link to this.
I just remember reading that in Hitchens' biography, just thinking like, damn, that's a pretty damn fine way.
Holding up my monitor in the studio is a game that a friend of mine gave me many years ago called Playing Shakespeare.
And...
What you get, like, it's a form of charades, but it's Shakespearean snippets that you have to act out.
And I remember my friend got gilded loam.
Gilded loam.
How the hell?
And he did, you know, gills for a fish, pretended to be dead, and then pointed at the bottom of a plant, which is kind of a cheat for, like, earth or loam.
So we got gilded loam and all of that.
And I think that kind of stuff is enormous fun.
And...
You know, sometimes when my friends wanted to get together and watch a hockey game, I would sit there and say, hey, how would we name Shakespeare plays if we were Robert Little?
You know, and they'd be like, who?
Like, let alone name Shakespeare.
I don't think they even knew Robert Little.
I think this is many years ago.
But anyway, it was just kind of funny.
So I think there's a lot of people who want that kind of...
Intellectual engagement, at least to listen to this show.
But let's just say that the seeds are not falling on the most fertile soil sometimes.
Okay.
So you think I should kind of be more open about it, put myself out there?
That might help.
Do a blog, do a YouTube channel, do something that's public.
I mean, A, it helps people.
B, We know we're not alone.
And see, somebody might get in touch with you who you might want to get to know.
That's funny you say that because I was actually planning on starting a YouTube channel coming up this summer.
Good.
Okay, well, that's a good way to get in conversation with people.
I remember many, many years ago, in my early, maybe early 20s, I wrote something called The Rationalist Manifesto.
I was going to start a political party and all that.
And I put ads in the paper and got into communication with a whole bunch of people about it.
And yeah, I met some pretty cool people.
This is back, believe it or not, this is back when you had to mail letters back and forth.
It was way before even email.
And I met some cool people through that.
And again, I've met some close friends.
Hey, actually getting together with one of them and his family on Mother's Day.
So yes, I've met some great friends.
And Mike, of course, a great friend through this show.
And these are people I never would have met otherwise.
And, you know, maybe I'd still be grumbling in the back of the hockey night.
I know that exact feeling.
So, yeah, that's my suggestion.
And with that, I will close down the show, but thank you so much.
Thank you so much, yeah.
Thank you so much for calling in, and thank you everyone so much for listening, for watching, for doing the donation dance.
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