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June 30, 2014 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

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2734 BURN IN HELL!

Having a family vs. having a career? Is Christianity the initiation of the use of force? Have you ever told your daughter about your mother and why she's not in your life? Is it inevitable for parents to scar their children?

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	Hi everybody, Stefan Molyne from Freedom Made Radio.
	Some more listener questions.
	This from a fine lady who writes, Steph, I'm trying to implement the principles I've learned in my life and also heal from a very bad childhood.
	It took me, unfortunately, a very long time.
	I'm in my late 30s now and I'm a female.
	So I'm in the predicament where I feel a part of me has a strong longing to do a lot of things that I was robbed of.
	Discover my preferences, creating the career of my dreams, travel, find the right people for me.
	I was on my way to doing that.
	On the other hand, if I choose that, I might not have the chance to create a family and have children.
	What to do?
	Even though I love children and would love to have a family, I don't know how I can say no to those longings and urges in me to really step out into the world and create a career and life.
	I was supposed to have.
	Now, first of all, there is no supposed to have.
	Tragically, there is just the evidence of what is.
	I was supposed to be six foot six.
	I was supposed to be Hispanic.
	I mean, you are what you are.
	I'm incredibly sorry for the history that you've faced.
	It is truly tragic when you have such a bad childhood.
	People who've not gone through that psychological meat grinder of child abuse, and child abuse, most of what happens in the world these days is child abuse.
	Public schools is child abuse.
	The 70% to 80% of parents who hit their children euphemistically call it spanking are child abusers.
	People who yell at children, call their names, and so on are child abusers.
	It's not really recognized as legal child abuse, but, you know, so what?
	Slavery wasn't recognized legally as slavery, and then they fixed that.
	So, for those who haven't gone through it, it's a terrifying opportunity, is what it is.
	Creativity, original thought, and so on is like the white light.
	That oozes out of a cracked egg of identity.
	You smash a child and most times they break.
	Every now and then you get diamond, right?
	The mass heat and pressure sometimes will produce a diamond.
	Irritation produces pearls.
	But most people break, but a few people there's this cracked white light.
	It's like that alien poster, if you've ever seen that movie, of the Alan Dean Foster novel.
	And so that sometimes this creativity, this blinding white light that comes out of a fundamental crack in being, and it sounds like you've taken the right road and pursued self-knowledge and so on.
	You can't have the career of your dreams and be a good parent.
	I'm sorry, you can't.
	I mean, there are only so many hours in the day.
	Children require near constant attention.
	Near constant attention, even by the age of four and five, children will want their parents every two to three minutes.
	It's just the way it works, and I don't know any way to bypass it or avoid it.
	I think it's irresponsible and abusive to have children and then dump them to other people to raise.
	You're putting them in daycare, even government schools, certainly kindergarten and so on.
	I mean, your kids need you until at least six years old, I would say.
	It's just my opinion.
	There's some science behind it and so on.
	But you cannot responsibly and humanely and empathetically have children and then dump them in someone else's lap to raise.
	Nobody's going to raise your kids like you can.
	Daycare is tragic and terrible at just about every measure of human progress and security.
	Babies and toddlers who don't see their mothers for 20 hours a week experience exactly the same symptoms as children who are abandoned by their mothers.
	It's a fundamental breaking being, which is why 40% of American children have attachment disorders, which are highly predictive of future children.
	Massive challenges with basic human decency, legality, addiction, and sustained relationships.
	If you want to have kids, you can travel.
	You can travel with kids.
	It's not always easy, but you can travel with kids.
	My daughter is good at travel.
	You can do some stuff while they're sleeping.
	They'll nap twice a day, then once a day, but by three or so, three and a half, they won't be napping, and then they'll be up for 13, 14 hours a day, and they will need you continually during that whole process.
	So, if you want to have kids, you have to put the other stuff on hold.
	I haven't written a book in five years, because I've been I get my shows in when my daughter is out with her mother or is otherwise occupied.
	And so, yeah, there's just no way to do it.
	As far as career goes, most people are happier...
	Not having children.
	The children as a whole produces net negatives for most people.
	It's net negatives for their relationships particularly.
	It's really tough to have conversations, adult conversations with kids around because they want to participate and they want to be included and they want to understand so you keep having a downshift and then you can't remember what you were talking about.
	They interrupt all the time which is a constant pushback situation.
	So most people are happier if they don't have children and this is fairly well established in Psychological research.
	So, if you want to have kids, you've got to figure out why.
	You've got to understand that you're in it for the long haul, and there's a lot of other stuff that's going to have to go by the wayside when you have children.
	If you want to have kids, go have kids.
	But recognize, of course, that it's going to eat up your time for half a decade or more.
	And it is, you know, an 18 to 22-year commitment.
	It's fairly full-time.
	It is not something you can quit.
	And you have to be with the right person.
	In your late 30s, it's a challenge if you don't have somebody in the wings ready to, you know...
	Flick some sperm your way in productive angles because, you know, your fertility is significantly declining.
	And once you get into your 40s, your chances of Down syndrome and other developmental disorders go up like crazy.
	In fact, fertility begins to decline for women in their mid to late 20s.
	So, you know, talk to your doctor and all of that.
	Get facts.
	But if you don't have a man around, you probably have missed the window because you've got to go now find a man who's the right man who wants to get married and You have to date that man, find out if you're compatible, get married, hopefully stay married for a year or two to get your relationship settled before your kids come along.
	I was married for five years before my daughter came along, which was great and really essential.
	We needed that foundation and bedrock of connection to survive the endless interruptions and non-conversation that happens with kids around us.
	So my guess is, if I had to lay odds, I would say that again, unless you have someone who wants to have kids with you right now, I would focus on the career and stuff and recognize that there's nothing wrong with not having kids and you can have a great deal of happiness and satisfaction in life.
	I think it makes your old age a little bit more tricky, but it makes your middle age a little more tricky if you have kids.
	So, those would be my suggestions.
	Is Christianity the initiation of the use of force?
	Asks a listener in that if you do not accept Jesus as your personal Savior, you will burn in hell forever.
	Well, it's more evil than any human being is capable of.
	I mean, I can torture you and kill you, but you're going to die, right?
	Let's say I torture you, I get you when you're 50, and I torture you for 20 years, you're still going to die.
	It's not forever.
	So, a man who tortures another man for 20 years is about as evil a man as can be imagined.
	So, Jesus threatening burning in hell forever is about as evil as can be imagined.
	It's part of the general challenge that we have as a society, and it's a crazy challenge that we have.
	We don't even recognize childism, which is prejudice against children.
	We just don't.
	If I come up to you and I say, listen, you've got to give me $5,000 a year or I am going to kidnap you and torture you, I go to jail because I'm threatening you with torture.
	And if I say, no, no, no, it's not me, it's my friend who's going to do that.
	I go to jail for threatening, right?
	I mean, you go to jail, if you hire a hitman, whether you pull the trigger or not, you're causing events to occur, right?
	So, if I have a friend who's going to torture you forever or for a long time, that's clearly a death threat, and I would go to jail, be treated as such.
	If I ran a...
	A home for mentally retarded people who couldn't differentiate truth from falsehood, and I told them that they had to do everything I said, otherwise invisible demons would suck out their eyeballs, and I showed them graphic videos of that occurring.
	They would completely freak out, be unable to differentiate nonsense from truth, and I would go to jail for torture, mental torture, and so on.
	So when it comes to adults, even mentally handicapped adults, we recognize what a death threat is, and we punish people accordingly.
	But you can go and tell children that they'll burn in hell unless they obey you and the man in the funny hat, and it's considered to be just fine.
	Childism is something that is so incomprehensible to people.
	I mean, this is how far we are from a decent and moral society.
	Like, imagine if I said, you know what, we should have a rule.
	We should have a rule in society.
	And in society, you should only be able to hit black people.
	No, no, no, black women.
	Yeah, you should only be able to hit black women.
	That's perfectly legal.
	You can hit black women.
	Nobody else can be hit.
	People will be like, you goddamn racist.
	What the hell?
	Racist and sexist.
	What are you talking about?
	But, you know, in most of the West, certainly in American Canada, in the UK, you can hit children.
	Children are the only people you can legally hit.
	Certainly in Canada, from the ages of 2 to 12, not in the face, you can hit children whatever you want.
	So, we just don't understand the degree to which we're prejudiced against children.
	If we applied the same rules to adults that we apply to children, And we said the government is going to choose where you go to work.
	The government is going to pick you up from your home and drop you off there.
	And the government is going to tell you exactly what to do.
	And if you leave your place of employment, then the government is going to punish you.
	And the government is not going to pay you.
	And in fact, it's going to force you to surrender to all of the arbitrary authorities.
	The government is going to cage you with a bunch of people who are dangerous sometimes.
	And it's going to put metal detectors in there and make sure you can't leave.
	And the government is going to keep you there for about 15,000 hours, 12 years or more.
	People would go insane and say this is for fascism.
	But we do this to children with public schools, and it's considered education.
	We can't even remotely process childism.
	What if I said, okay, white people can sign contracts...
	And get stuff.
	And the bill gets sent to black people.
	What do you think of that?
	Does that sound great?
	So I can go and buy a car and the bill is going to get sent to a black person.
	And if the black person doesn't pay the bill, he goes to jail.
	And I laugh.
	People would say, that's insane and racist.
	Well, that's the national debt, right?
	We spend a whole bunch of money to buy votes in this democracite known as the end times of our final fascism.
	And then the bill is going to get sent to the unborn, and if they don't pay their taxes to pay the interest on the debt that we have accumulated, they go to jail, right?
	So if I said, let's white people buy stuff and send the bills to black people, people would say that's horribly racist.
	It kind of isn't slavery.
	But nobody understands that about children.
	Right?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Send me the car.
	Somebody's...
	Yeah, yeah.
	Stranger's fetus will pay.
	No problem.
	We're on it.
	Thank you.
	Click.
	Hope it comes with air conditioning and a bulletproof glass.
	So, we just...
	And this is just one of many, many examples.
	We do to children what we would never do to adults.
	Bill, I completely disagree with your analysis of Putin's foreign policy and Obama's response.
	You're 42 years old.
	Go to sit in the goddamn corner for 42 minutes.
	Think about what you've done and then come and apologize to me.
	And if you don't do that, if you don't go and sit in that goddamn corner for 42 minutes, I am going to pick you up and put you there and keep you there.
	You can't do it.
	I wouldn't imagine doing it.
	Imagine if the government was in control of everything you ate.
	A police officer came over to your house, said, you finish everything on that plate, or you sit there until it's done.
	And we would say, the hell are you doing?
	This is insane.
	Don't even have a warrant.
	We do this to kids all the time.
	I could go on and on.
	We don't even understand.
	The concept of childism.
	Which is why we can do all of this crazy, immoral, evil shit to children.
	Tell them about hell.
	Throw them in debt.
	Throw them in these god-awful prisons called schools.
	We can hit them.
	We can indebt them.
	And it's not even like...
	To even mention it as an issue is completely incomprehensible to most people.
	Because...
	People in the past who were racists were pretty honest racists, right?
	So they said, well, blacks are inferior, so we've got to own them and bring them to Jesus, right?
	They can't function on their own, blah, blah, blah, right?
	So they were open assholes to blacks.
	But the problem with childism is that we've got this complete reaction formation, or this reverse superstructure called child idealism, idealization of children.
	I don't know.
	There's no word for it.
	But we say, well, we do everything for our children.
	We love our children.
	Children of the future, I believe, right?
	It's all this beautiful stuff that we talk about with kids.
	I mean, if you're anti-Semitic, if you're a Nazi, yes, I hate Jews, right?
	And then you can tell someone, don't hate Jews or whatever, but...
	Some guy who's a Nazi who says, I love Jews.
	The Jews are the most productive, wonderful, intelligent, gifted, genius, creative, funny race that's ever existed.
	I wish we could all be Jews.
	They are everything.
	Then he wants a gulag for the Jews.
	That's really screwed up.
	It's not even open hatred.
	We punish our children.
	We hit our children.
	We deny them their individuality.
	We control them.
	We throw them in terrible schools.
	We use them as credit or collateral for political bribery.
	And we just abuse them in every way, shape, or form.
	30% of moms have admitted to hitting their babies, babies, over the past month.
	80% of British women hit their toddlers before babies, before the babies were even a year old.
	So we fucking punch babies.
	And then we say, well, children are everything.
	I'd do anything for my kids.
	Children are the future, blah, blah, blah.
	We are completely, like, insane when it comes to children.
	So the very concept of childism or prejudice against children, not treating children.
	Children should get the most positive treatment They should get the best and most careful treatment, but instead they get the worst.
	And this is how far we are from having even a remotely sane and moral society.
	So yes, of course it is an initiation, a violation of the non-aggression principle to threaten children with hell.
	And the fact that this is even a question, and I understand, Anthony, it's a great question, but the fact that it is even a question just shows how childish we are.
	What is your opinion on surrounding children with extended family?
	Would it be a weekly, monthly, seasonal thing?
	I'm just curious what's considered a healthy amount of time for the child.
	Do they need more time with just their parents, or is it good to be around more family?
	Healthy extended family is very good for children.
	Unhealthy extended family is toxic for children.
	You have the right to have abusive people in your own life.
	I don't recommend it, but you certainly can in the same way that if you punch yourself in the face, you don't throw your arm in jail.
	You can go and key your own car if you want, but you can't go and key someone else's.
	So you can have as many toxic people as you want in your own life as an adult.
	But you do not have the right to have toxic people in your children's lives, because they didn't choose you as parents, they didn't choose to be there, and they certainly as hell don't choose their relatives.
	So, you have the right to eat crap yourself, you don't have the right to feed your children only crap.
	I think all things being equal, it's great to have extended family in your life.
	Children flourish when they have different age groups, multi-generations, and extended relationships.
	It's great.
	We're tribal.
	But if they are toxic and dysfunctional, then you don't have the right to expose your children to any kind of toxic, particularly interpersonal toxins.
	Sorry, this is another question from the same guy.
	Every person I've talked to has had some sort of trauma or dysfunction in their childhood.
	Is it inevitable for parents to scar their children?
	Well, I think in the current world, yeah, kind of.
	I mean...
	I have to tell the truth, and a god-awful embarrassing truth it is sometimes, to my child about the world.
	My daughter asks lots of questions about the world, and I have told her I'm going to tell her everything honestly, or a few things I won't tell her.
	I'll tell her honestly that I won't tell her until she's older.
	So, so many parents are dysfunctional and abusive that I have to be very picky about who my daughter plays with.
	I have to really interview and scan and understand the parents and their commitment to peaceful parenting, to non-violent approaches, to mediating disputes with children, you know, which is...
	Which is weird.
	I mean, again, this is just how insane the society is.
	I don't usually have to say, well, we'd love to go out to dinner with you, new couple, but can I just double-check with you that you don't beat up your wife?
	Is that, you know, you don't lock her in the basement, you don't deny her food?
	I don't usually need to ask that of people.
	But you do have to figure that stuff out with other parents.
	So, I don't think there are a lot of really great parents around, and those parents who are really great have the challenge of inhabiting a world that Filled by non-great parents, which is a challenge.
	It's not always inevitable that parents will scar their children, but the less you scar your children, the more challenging it's going to be for them to move among the generally scarred population.
	Three, have you ever told your daughter about your mother and why she's not in your life or hers?
	Or are you waiting for her to ask you?
	I'm just curious if that's a topic that needs to be discussed with the child.
	And if yes, because personally I think it's important, how would you talk about it?
	I have.
	Yeah, she's asked me about my mother.
	She knows she has a mother.
	And I've certainly not hidden the fact that I have a mother.
	And I've told her about my mother in age-appropriate terms and why my mother is...
	Not anywhere near my life.
	And she used to sort of say, well, I'd like to meet her anyway.
	I said, well, we'll think about it.
	And I told her more.
	And as she gets older and she understands, she's lost her desire.
	My daughter doesn't want to be in the military.
	She's very much openly told me that.
	She does still want to be the chairman of the Federal Reserve because who wouldn't want free money?
	But yeah, of course.
	I mean, it's nothing for me to be ashamed of.
	It wasn't my fault that I was born to an incredibly abusive family structure.
	I mean, if you're born in prison, you don't accept the sentence.
	All right.
	Let's keep moving.
	That's a big question.
	Let's go to a shorter one.
	After doing two videos with Dr. Peter Gray a while ago, what are your thoughts on his views, sub-reschooling and unschooling?
	I got a sense from your recent videos in regard to parenting or educational approach that it's a little different from them.
	I'm still working it out.
	I'm still working it out.
	We do have some external help with Isabella's education, but we also do a lot of education ourselves.
	I don't know what's going to happen.
	I don't know.
	I have a lot of respect for teachers.
	I think it's a very skilled profession.
	I'm not going to do my daughter's dentistry, and I'm not sure that I'd be the best person to do Her education?
	Certainly, there's no public school.
	Absolutely not.
	No question of that.
	I don't know what I'd sooner do, but that's not going to happen.
	I don't know.
	I'll keep you posted.
	I'm still working on it.
	How will people in a free society deal with things like propaganda, religion, professional sports, and other things that are harmful for human reason and prosperity?
	Well, how do people in the modern world in America deal with slavery?
	I mean, as it existed in the 18th century, well, they don't because nobody believes it.
	Nobody accepts it.
	Nobody says it should come back.
	Nobody is agitating for its return.
	So, when people understand things really well, which is how a future society will be free, when they have lost They're bubbles of contradiction, which they call an effervescent state of mind, when they have finally accepted universal principles and that there's no magic costume that excludes you from moral imperatives like the non-initiation of force and the respect for property rights.
	Well, you won't have propaganda.
	Propaganda is designed to get you to accept contradictions by bonding with spectacle.
	Accept contradictions in morality by bonding with spectacle and ritual, and we're very susceptible to it as tribal beings who had to conform with tribal insanities in order to survive.
	Someone had to guard you while you slept.
	Someone had to fight with you against interlopers.
	And women, of course, needed people to bring them resources while they were...
	Pregnants and giving birth and breastfeeding, they needed, right?
	So people had to subjugate themselves to the irrationality of the tribe.
	To survive now, we don't as much have to, so we really have the chance for real philosophy for the first time in history.
	When someone makes a moral claim, if their proposition doesn't apply to all moral agents everywhere for all time, then that person is a hypocrite and you can ignore their bogus claim.
	If it does apply universally, you need to take it seriously, but it shouldn't have logical contradictions or practical impossibilities.
	Is that summary of UPB reasonable?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, universality is a necessary but not sufficient criteria for moral truth.
	So, yeah, I think that's not too bad.
	It's not a summary of UPB as an argument.
	it is a summary of some of the takeaways from UPB.
	All right.
	Let's see if we've got a shorter one just to finish up.
	No.
	Well, thank you everybody so much for your time.
	I'm going to take you on a tour of this spanking new studio that gives me a little orangutan arm room so I can do my...
	Nixon impersonations.
	Oh, sorry for the audio people.
	That was chillingly real.
	But I hope you're doing well.
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	Hope you have yourselves a great week, and please send in your questions again to mailbag at freedomainradio.com.

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