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May 27, 2014 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

02:15:18

2708 The Dangers of Dating a Supermodel

Stefan Molyneux breaks down the unspoken reality of dating a supermodel.

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	Okay.
	All right.
	Well, I kind of feel like I failed you as a student of philosophy.
	I feel like I did not put my principles into practice, and I feel like I deserve you to reach the ironclad hand of truth, reason, and virtue and smack me through the Skype-a-sphere with a big C, I told you so.
	Some TSA. Yeah, with a big C, I told you so.
	No, no, no.
	I deserve the iron, right?
	No gloves.
	For dating a single mother.
	Really falling for a highly attractive, highly seductive single mother of two children from two different guys with red flags popping up everywhere, all over the place.
	And a few of your podcasts...
	I felt like it was speaking to me personally and I listened to them over and over again and they made perfect sense and I just ignored it and continued the relationship with this woman for seven or eight months and it ended and I'm devastated and I don't really know why I'm devastated.
	Did it just end?
	It just ended, yes, about three weeks ago.
	It just ended.
	Right, okay.
	So, originally I wanted to call you and whine and try to psychoanalyze my ex-girlfriend, but I thought that that wasn't a responsible thing that an FDR listener, an avid FDR listener should do.
	You think that by psychoanalyze, which is not something I can do, but you think by analyzing your ex-girlfriend we wouldn't be analyzing you?
	I mean...
	Yes, exactly.
	So highly attractive and highly seductive was the way that you described your ex-girlfriend, the single mom?
	Yeah, she dropped out of high school to model and became a pretty successful supermodel.
	She got pregnant from another male model at age 22 and moved back to the small town to which I had moved a few years ago.
	Did that male model think she was another man?
	Sorry.
	Stereotyping.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It was a male mom.
	Yes, yes.
	And he lives close by, too.
	But, yeah, she approached me.
	I had moved to town, and I was really looking for her.
	I'd heard of her.
	I heard that there was this gorgeous former supermodel living very close by, and I didn't find her, and she actually found me.
	I was at the store down the street.
	She approached me, and I was so flattered.
	I think that she commonly approaches men, so that might not have been an artificial ego booster.
	But, yeah.
	But I had courted her for about three weeks.
	This was about a year ago.
	And then I was rejected because she had a small baby at the time, which that was fine with me.
	I mean, she was just great.
	She was just this hippie girl that would run out into her garden and grab all of these vegetables and stuff and make salads.
	And it was just, you know, she kind of had this hippie thing going.
	She didn't care about her look.
	She wasn't applying a lot of makeup.
	So I thought maybe she was over that.
	But she did have these two small children, one very small child.
	And it was just never...
	It was convenient because it was right down the street.
	And I thought that it would be...
	It would just work out.
	I've got a farm here.
	She's got a farm right down the street, and that would be fine.
	But three weeks into the courtship, I had not done anything.
	She had not done anything, made any sexual advancements, which I think is a good thing.
	Then she suddenly ended it.
	This was a year ago.
	She ended it.
	She said, look, my feelings are growing for you, and my baby's father is coming back.
	I'm still in love with him.
	We've been talking every day.
	He's coming back from Israel, and my feelings are growing for you.
	I'm sorry.
	He came back.
	Which baby's father?
	The younger one.
	The younger one.
	She was about a year.
	And the first one, which was from the male model, that guy was just not in the picture.
	Well, he's in a picture, but not her picture.
	Is that right?
	That was highly abusive.
	There are two sides to every story, but I heard that there was physical abuse, there were threats, threats of suicide, death threats.
	It was just a mess.
	It was really scary to hear her stories about him and to wonder why she would have ever...
	Sorry to interrupt.
	What's the age gap between the kids?
	Between she and I? Her oldest is seven and a half.
	Her youngest is two.
	So this was, she's 30, she'll be 31 in a few weeks.
	All right.
	So she has a seven and a half year old and a two year old.
	Of course the seven and a half year old just hated my guts as she's hated the guts of any man she's dated.
	Sure.
	Yeah, it was just...
	It seemed like once we started sleeping together, suddenly the seven-and-a-half-year-old, it was almost she sensed it.
	Once that threshold was crossed, it was all downhill from there.
	And it was just...
	It was really awful.
	I mean, I think it was just physical attraction.
	I feel bad for...
	I've been sticking around for so long and I felt like such an outsider constantly and my jealousy of the baby's father grew.
	I think that's a pretty important thing for any guy considering dating a single mom is that I think as your feelings grow for the woman, your resentment that you are not a father grows and your heartbreak starts to grow.
	You know that there's this constant risk, which you don't face from ex-boyfriends, right?
	Right, so the constant risk of the get-back-together-itis, right?
	Because she's got a bond with the kids and the dad, right?
	And so if the dad's out of the picture, and I guess you found this out about a year ago, you said when she broke up with you, because the baby daddy number two was coming back from Israel.
	Now, he's got kids.
	I guess my question is, what the hell is he doing in Israel to begin with?
	He's a dad.
	Oh, this is where I'm really embarrassed to start to, you know, this is where...
	Wait, hang on, hang on.
	Are you saying that this is the part where you start to get embarrassed?
	I'm sorry, I'm just kidding.
	I'm just kidding.
	Okay, all right, let's say, yeah.
	Maybe I would look at this woman if I was single and lose my mind completely, but so, you know, I understand.
	Oh, I was short-circuited, my friend.
	I mean, she's a 10 to me.
	I mean, she was certainly a 10, I think.
	I think supermodels can objectively be standardized as 10.
	Okay, so tell me where it begins to get embarrassing.
	Okay.
	Well, someone told me long ago that the person you're in a relationship or considering being in a relationship with is telling you everything you need to know all the time, constantly.
	And within the first few minutes.
	Yeah.
	But unfortunately, this was about week three when she ended the courtship.
	It wasn't a relationship back a year ago.
	I was just inviting her over for lunch, and it was kind of like there was just a seduction going on on both of our parts.
	And she ended it abruptly, and it was pretty honorable.
	I figured, okay, this man is the father, and it would probably be better for you and the child if the biological father were to come back and you could make it work.
	And so he comes back in August, they get in a terrible fight, and of course she immediately calls me, so I'm first on the second list.
	And there aren't many women up here.
	I moved up to a pretty rural region in Oregon, so maybe that's part of it.
	Wait, she had a fight with the father of her second child and she called you, so you're her emotional tampon, is that right?
	Yes, I think so.
	That's right.
	But of course, the short circuit happened.
	All of my better judgment out the window.
	I wasn't seeing any girl of any caliber physically at the time.
	And so I obliged.
	There was a terrible fire going on in Southern Oregon.
	And so I whisked her off.
	She and her kids off to Southern California where my mom has a house.
	And we spent about ten days there.
	And that's where I really swooned her, and that's where the physical, you know, all the wonderful, gooey, you know, dangerous...
	I don't know.
	That's where that all happened.
	But I was driving...
	Well, this is the tough thing.
	Both of her parents felt that I was the best guy that she had ever been with, and I just had it together.
	I was articulate.
	I was an actual man.
	She dated these kind of girly, tattooed-up, strange, lazy, hippie, whatever you want to call them.
	And that was her dating history, which is another red flag.
	I should hold up red flags every time.
	Or maybe you should.
	No, because otherwise, basically, I wouldn't be able to see you.
	If you put up every red flag, you would just basically be, why is he talking to a red flag?
	I mean, it would be like a convention of communists.
	But anyway, go on.
	Yeah, that's right.
	That's right.
	Oh, and so I was driving back, and I'd gone through it.
	We'd spent 10 days in Santa Barbara, and so after the kids had fallen asleep, there were these hours and hours of bliss under the stars where all of these promises were being made and all this wonderful stuff.
	Then I was driving back, but during the day when the kid was crying and I had the kid in the baby seat and all that was happening, there was a terrible frustration.
	I mean, it was just like, oh my God, I can't wait until tonight.
	The frustration was not being able to have a conversation over a crying baby, her seven-year-old wanting this, that, and the other thing, wanting to go here, me renting bicycles to kind of...
	It was great.
	It was such an ego boost for me to have this gorgeous woman around and even her kids.
	I was kind of romanticizing about, wow, a family kind of environment.
	I have enough money to where, yeah, I could make that happen.
	She was being so sweet to me and she was really starting to white knight.
	She was starting to clad me in the white knight armor of just, oh gosh, you are just, where have you come from?
	You are just so good to me.
	You're so good to my kids.
	I should spare names.
	So I was fully clad in the white knight, and I was completely hoodwinked and short-circuited by her physical beauty.
	It's never happened to me before, certainly not in recent memory.
	And so there was a ton of frustration, but my mom thought that she was the best thing that ever happened to me.
	But my mom has never had a successful relationship, so Yeah, so your mom judging her is like me giving you gel tips, right?
	Okay, got it.
	Yes, yes.
	And I have to say this, though.
	Okay, so at the...
	I think we both caravan back.
	She had a car and I had a car.
	We were headed back to Oregon.
	I think it was the day of my drive back to Oregon, I was reflecting on the relationship, and you had released Why Friends Are No Substitute for Fathers.
	I think it was a movie review, but it really delved into...
	The single mother, the liabilities, the unaccountability.
	I can't remember.
	It was as if you were speaking to me.
	I thought that you had looked at my Facebook page and saw that I was dating this This single mother, and you just saw through the frustration.
	There is a man out there among my listenership whose hair looks like an electrified chia pet.
	I must save him!
	Now!
	Anyway, go on.
	Maybe that was it.
	I probably had a different hairdo back then.
	All right.
	I don't know.
	I'll have to check my Facebook.
	I'll have to check the Facebook history.
	But I didn't listen to you.
	I mean, I just didn't listen.
	I think my biggest argument or my biggest qualm With all of these truths that you were going through was that, well, I can't judge this woman because we live in, I mean, we're just in captivity.
	So, you know, we're all victims of...
	We're in captivity, by the way.
	I can think of something you were being captive by.
	I think it's not exactly the road less traveled, but I'm sure it clenched well.
	Okay, but captive, like, for if you're an enslavement kind of thing?
	Yeah.
	I think that I was trying to give her an out, just because, hey, she was, you know...
	Oh, no, I know.
	Okay, let me see if I can guess.
	Psychic helmet time.
	Let me see if I can guess.
	So, the story is that she was presenting, which you were eagerly lapping up, so to speak, is...
	My God, I have had terrible luck with men.
	I have happened to have gotten involved with these just terrible men.
	I'm a good-hearted woman.
	I've been led astray.
	These men have been, you know, I had kids with the men.
	But you, you, dear sir, you are the one who has come and now the fullness of my heart can attach to you.
	I can open myself up.
	I can be vulnerable.
	I've never met anyone like you before.
	All the men I had sex with before and had children with before and had suicide threats and death threats from before and abandoned me to go to Israel, they were bad guys.
	But I still retain the ability to attach to a really great guy.
	And you are that really great guy.
	The past is the past, and I had no choice in it fundamentally.
	I was choosing the best of a really bad lot, and now I've seen what quality is.
	Here we go.
	Yes.
	And I completely fell hook, line, and sinker.
	In spite of listening to...
	Flattery is extremely dangerous.
	Boy, you think trolls are dangerous.
	Flatterers are the most dangerous of all.
	I'd much rather people hate me irrationally than love me irrationally.
	But anyway, go on.
	Well, all right.
	I guess with the story, so we get back to Oregon, and the romance continues, and my mom is excited, and I'm meeting her mom.
	Her brother, the family seems great.
	Her parents were still together, but I later learned that her father had constantly cheated on her mother, that they lived in a very rural, remote area, and the father was always gone.
	He's this really charismatic, intelligent guy, but she later told me that he was never...
	Yeah, I don't know him very well, so I don't really want to...
	Oh, you know him very well.
	Have you heard much about her ex-boyfriends?
	Well, I didn't hear much about her ex-boyfriends, and I thought that that would be...
	No, you did!
	You did!
	They had sex with me, they had children with me, they're not in the picture!
	Right?
	Not in the picture.
	Right, they're good-looking, charismatic philanderists, like my dad.
	Ah, yes.
	So you know all there is to know about the dad.
	Oh, okay.
	All right, I'm here.
	Okay, sorry about that.
	Okay, so you're back with your mom.
	Oh, back...
	Oh, you mean back with her?
	Back in Oregon?
	Are we going through the narrative?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Oh, okay.
	Describing her parents or describing...
	Yeah, you said her dad was a charismatic serial cheater.
	Very charismatic.
	She marries these guys who don't commit, right?
	Yeah, he was never home.
	She described her early life as father never home, father heavily drinking.
	He hasn't been drinking for years.
	And now they go to Amma.
	Have you heard of Amma, the Hindu hugging saint?
	The spiritual hugging saint?
	Oh, this woman.
	It's a woman, right?
	Who thinks that hugs squeeze all malevolence out of people.
	Right, okay.
	Yeah, it's just a bunch of yuppies on the West Coast go around and pray to Alma dolls, full-grown adults.
	I guess pray to dolls and hug her and pay $250 a hug or something like that.
	I don't know.
	Anyway, her whole family's involved in that.
	People with an irreparably bad conscience will do some very strange things and give people a lot of money just to feel better for 20 minutes.
	But anyway, go ahead.
	Okay.
	So anyway, in describing her early life, it seemed like she never...
	father not around.
	Her mother's very closed in, shoulders in, accepting anything, never challenging the father...
	And then her father is just this really, you know, charismatic, outgoing, I guess, seductive gentleman that would just kind of want to, you know, kind of take off and maybe show up at night, maybe not.
	And her mom just accepted it, and that was that.
	So a very passive mother, very, very, I don't know, I don't know what you want to call the father.
	I'm sorry, just the ex-girlfriend, what was she living on?
	What was her, where was she getting her money?
	Oh, okay.
	Red flags.
	Here we go.
	Well, she had purchased her...
	She has a few acre farm up the street that I think she purchased with a little chunk of change that she had earned from modeling.
	And maybe the psycho ex-husband had helped out on that too.
	Then that deteriorated.
	And it's really sad.
	I started to learn...
	But this was after the blinders of lust had fallen over me.
	Or the cell of lust had fallen over me.
	And I was kind of helpless in my judgment.
	It's really sad.
	Her parents are paying her mortgage.
	They pay her cell phone bill.
	She was on an allowance.
	She's 30 years old.
	Oh, my God!
	Now, if I were talking to you and you were Paul Walker, I would understand that, you know, that the woman I'm dating with has an allowance because he likes them pretty fresh off the trip.
	Oh, that's right.
	Oh, yeah, he would go to prom night.
	Wow, so he has no...
	Like, she has basically no money?
	She was a model, a supermodel, and she's got no money?
	Yeah, they don't make much money.
	Even if you want to get on the cover of a lot of these magazines, I think you kind of have to do it pro bono because it's such a status symbol.
	It helps, I guess, the mediocre jobs.
	But she doesn't have a job.
	No.
	Well, I guess she has a job.
	It's just a job that you wouldn't probably put on a resume.
	No, that's right.
	Although these men...
	And she got money from you, I would assume.
	Yes, I was subsidizing the dates.
	I would take the kids out.
	Yeah, of course.
	You were paying for it?
	Yeah, I was paying for it.
	It wasn't a big drain.
	Just going to the arcade and $20 or $30 here.
	I was paying for it.
	Yeah, but you weren't buying her a car or paying her rent or anything like that?
	No, no, I didn't get that obvious.
	And how much do you think you were in for financially over the course of the relationship?
	I guess both phases.
	Oh, that's a good question.
	Okay, so if you consider Santa Barbara...
	Including travel that you may have paid for and, you know, any bills that she may have needed help with or money you may have lent or...
	Including Christmas presents, I'd say $5,000.
	Maybe something like that.
	Okay.
	Over the course of six months or something.
	So, eight, nine hundred bucks a month.
	Yeah.
	And her previous boyfriends never did anything.
	I mean, that was one of her things.
	That was one thing that she would always try to bolster my ego with, was just that, wow, I'm finally dating a boyfriend that doesn't have to sleep on my couch.
	I've got my own place.
	It's decent.
	It looks nice to me.
	I mean, I live in a giant ping pong puddle, but you look...
	I look like a ping pong ball, but ping pong bubble?
	Anyway.
	Okay, so I just want to get a sense of the timing.
	So the first time she broke up with you because the second daddy was coming back, and then that didn't work, and then you were going out with her for six months after that, right?
	Yeah, so the plot thickens.
	So she stopped.
	She put me on hold and waited for this gentleman to come back.
	It just self-destructed.
	He was on the plane back to Israel five days after he showed up here.
	And she was calling me before he even left, I found out.
	Before he even left?
	Before he even left.
	And that was supposed to be a compliment.
	So when she crosses the stream, she's not a big one for jumping from lily pad to lily pad.
	She just wants to step on the next one and make sure that there's some guy there.
	Before the last guy's even out the door, she wants...
	Okay, got it.
	The next guy coming through the door.
	Yeah, frightening thought to think about now, but I'll get over it, I guess.
	But in any case, the relationship goes until about December, and I kind of want to pull the ripcord on it.
	Winters in Oregon are pretty dismal, and I was frustrated.
	I wanted to take off.
	I took off for a month to go surfing.
	Why were you frustrated?
	Just because I couldn't spend any quality time with her.
	There were many times when her oldest was off at school and we were going to try to have a romantic afternoon and she would say, hey, 1 o'clock, I'm going to show up.
	My youngest will be asleep, and so I would put my day on hold for that, and she would show up, and the youngest was still awake.
	I felt guilty about being disappointed that the youngest was still awake.
	He then doesn't go to sleep because there's someone there to play with, right?
	You're there, and he can...
	Yeah, it was fun.
	It was kind of fun.
	I don't have kids, so it was kind of a good experience, I think, in some ways.
	I get what you mean.
	You don't want to be the guy who's like...
	Oh, the kid's up, so I'm not getting any.
	Yeah, I felt very guilty.
	You know, that's not fun.
	Yeah, it was terrible.
	So I feel like maybe, wow, I was just using her for sex.
	Maybe.
	I don't know.
	But in any case, I take off to Bali.
	And part of that I feel like was...
	Kind of an in-your-face, look, I'm frustrated at the situation.
	I'm frustrated that you had these kids with these douchebags, and I'm so much better, I felt.
	Maybe I'm worse.
	But I'm going to kind of prove that you made such a mistake, and I'm going to really stick it to her for all those times that I showed up and wasn't able to get any TLC. I'm taking off to Bali.
	I'm free.
	I didn't want to express this anger to her, although I did sometimes.
	To the point where she would get really sad.
	The disappointment that she had made these decisions that caused our relationship to never really start or our codependence to never really start.
	I took off to Bali and was faithful.
	We broke up when I was in Bali.
	I stayed an extra two weeks, came back in hopes to get back together with her and then learned that she was going to Israel to visit the baby's father.
	The villain.
	The villain that I was the white knight of having saved her.
	Well, of course, you go out one door, so another guy's got to come in the next door, right?
	I mean, she's basically a conveyor belt on stilts.
	Alright, go on.
	Okay.
	So I get her back.
	I thought that there was this window.
	I'm going to come back in, and God, I missed her so much.
	I still have a few more months of winter in Oregon, and she's just so great, even though I really don't know that because we haven't spent any real quality time together.
	We haven't had any time to get to know each other over a crying kid and a nagging seven-year-old.
	There was no relationship.
	But I still have this romantic kind of getting back, and I'm by myself.
	It's such a rural community.
	And I really wanted to get her back and won her back.
	Immediately when I came back.
	But there was this weak period before she left to Israel.
	And the story I was told was that, look, we're two friends.
	We're raising this baby.
	You took off.
	She needs a father.
	This gentleman is the only option that I have.
	And the grandparents really want to see the baby.
	So she takes off, spends two weeks in Israel.
	Don't hear from her.
	I'm so frustrated.
	I did not Facebook her.
	I did not contact her.
	I was so mad that she had left.
	So jealous.
	And she didn't contact me either in two weeks.
	But she got back And it was just like a different person.
	I mean, it was just she was holding some kind of secret because, you know, she was peevish and distant.
	Some kind of secret?
	You mean the secret where she slept with the guy she already slept with?
	Yeah, or that she was trying to seduce.
	And then he was scheduled to come back and then, you know, he was now scheduled to come back and live on her farm where she's buying him a truck.
	He's staying on, you know, I don't know.
	She's just subsidizing.
	She's got no money.
	Well, her parents' money, I guess.
	Oh, her parents are buying him a truck.
	Why the fuck didn't you get a truck?
	What the hell?
	What's the matter with you?
	You need a truck?
	You're an iron gun!
	Get a goddamn truck!
	Yeah, it was terrible.
	I guess that's one of the worst...
	That's one of the worst things to really kind of ponder is that she would subsidize these gentlemen and then expect.
	It was kind of like I played the father role to her, but she wanted to mother these pretty boys, these pretty sociopathic boys.
	But I wasn't.
	If you think that's mothering them, you're telling me probably more than you want to about your relationship with your mother.
	But anyway, we'll get into that later.
	Yeah, we could.
	We could go in.
	I'd like to.
	I think that's probably where it should end up.
	Yeah.
	Other than my useless snarky comments, is it helpful to be able to talk about this so far?
	Oh, it is.
	I feel like maybe I'm being too, maybe I'm giving too much information.
	I mean, hopefully you're legitimately interested in the story, but, you know, I could go into my past and...
	No, we'll get there.
	But, I mean, I'm, you know, I've got nothing else to do tonight.
	I'm a married guy, so Saturday night, webcam.
	Your girlfriend.
	Your ex-girlfriend.
	So, all right.
	Yeah, yeah, she's not...
	So, okay, so she comes back, she's peevish, and what the...
	We come back, it's date night, and now I feel like the power is gone.
	Wait, what's date night?
	Sorry, hang on.
	She comes back.
	What's date night?
	Oh, well, we had date night.
	So we did spend, over the six months, we spent a whole of maybe 14 or 15 evenings together, of course, until she had to pick up the little baby who was still breastfeeding.
	Yeah.
	So, date night was the second night that she had come back.
	Well, at least if we get a coffee to go.
	Anyway, okay, go on.
	Never mind.
	So, yeah, there was this talk.
	After coming back from Israel, suddenly, she wanted to let me know, look, I think I've fallen out of love with you.
	You having abandoned me and left me and gone to Bali for four weeks and then having stayed two more weeks after we broke up, You know, it hurt me so bad that I don't think that I can go back.
	I don't think that I can, you know, recover from my hurt feelings and all of this.
	Right.
	So, I mean, because the guy who had sex with her and then took off to Israel is a guy she can forgive.
	But a guy who was really great to her and then went to Bali out of frustration, she can't forgive.
	Okay, so this has nothing to do with value, judgment, or statement.
	She's just got this, right?
	Hypothetically.
	Yeah, this complex of just...
	Yeah, no, it's just like, I think I can trade up so I'm out of love with you, right?
	I think I can do something better.
	Yeah, well, the...
	Yeah, well, trading up.
	See, that was the thing because he doesn't have two nickels to rub together.
	He doesn't have a job.
	He doesn't, you know, it doesn't work.
	He's never done anything for her.
	He's mooched off her every time he's been here.
	So she's just subsidized her.
	Oh, you're missing the equation.
	I'm sorry.
	The equation rhymes with the word fuck and starts with a truck.
	Ah, yeah, yeah.
	Right?
	So if the guy's in the picture, the parents give more money.
	Because he's the father of the children, which is why he got the truck and you didn't.
	Okay.
	Right?
	So the trading up is not to do with the money from him.
	It's to do with the money that more money she can get out of her parents if the father of the child is in the picture, right?
	Okay, maybe.
	Even though the parents didn't like him at all.
	And the parents didn't support him coming back.
	It doesn't matter.
	They'll still get him a truck.
	No, because he's the father, right?
	And so it's better for the parents if the father of the child is around, right?
	It's easier to explain, right?
	So she had a kid with one crazy guy, and now she's with the father of the second child, as opposed to...
	There's two in a row that she had babies with and then they took off.
	That's hard for the parents to explain, but they will probably pay more or find it of more value if the second father is in the picture.
	It's just a thought.
	I don't know for sure, right?
	Yeah, that's true.
	I think that's true.
	And understanding that, you know, wow, this guy might be, you know, her boyfriend, Zach, he's a terrific guy, but it's obvious that he is just not going to bond and really pick the torch up and try to stepfather these children.
	And so, yeah, I guess that's...
	One of them wouldn't be a stepfather.
	Oh, wait, sorry.
	Are you the one that you...
	Oh, if it were me, yeah.
	If it was you, yeah.
	Which is just, I just...
	Okay.
	All right.
	So then what happens after she says, my heart is so wounded that I simply cannot love you anymore?
	What happens after that?
	I stopped drinking when I was in Bali.
	Well, I'm an alcoholic, I guess, if you consider two or three drinks every day for years, then I'm an alcoholic.
	I stopped drinking.
	You just compressed a huge amount of information in that, right?
	So you've had two or three drinks a day for years, is that right?
	Years, yes.
	Now, it's not up to me.
	I mean, is that considered an alcoholic?
	I... Can I tell you the answer?
	Maybe it depends on what...
	Yes.
	It most certainly is.
	Okay.
	Even if I'm living in France.
	No, then you're an alcoholic and a masochist.
	That's just a whole different kind of thing.
	To my knowledge, if you drink every day, then you're an alcoholic.
	Or if you drink to excess, did you get drunk or was it two or three a day?
	Never drunk, never hungover.
	I would never want to do that.
	I cook a lot with girls and ex-girlfriends and stuff.
	I really value that time.
	I certainly value that time buzzed.
	I just feel like I don't know.
	It's like a Yeah, so you're surrounded by people who can't stand them when you're sober.
	Okay, I got it.
	I got it.
	Yeah, maybe I upped it to four drinks when the kids were over.
	I don't know.
	No, no, listen.
	I like Novocaine, but my teeth are getting drilled too, so I get where you're coming from.
	But okay.
	But I think that's functioning alcoholics, and I think that's a phrase that you used in your initial email.
	Like falling down drunk, you're not throwing up, your liver isn't trying to crawl out through your belly button, so you have a couple of drinks every day, but it's something that you do every day.
	Every day.
	And so it's something you have to plan for and make sure you have the drinks, right?
	Yeah.
	There would be drinks around.
	There'd be some tequila.
	There'd be some hard cider.
	Maybe to alleviate the guilt, I went gluten-free.
	And so if I didn't have beer, I would have hard cider because that would somehow make it seem better.
	The guilt?
	The guilt about what?
	About drinking.
	About being a daily drinker.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	All right.
	All right.
	Okay.
	So you're back with...
	You're not back with the woman, right?
	She's like...
	Okay.
	Well, we were.
	You know, she...
	I had stopped drinking when I came back from Bali.
	I got sick the last week in Bali, and I was in very good shape because I'd been surfing every day, and somehow just all of that, and I'd been doing a bunch of yoga.
	I do a lot of yoga.
	And I just, you know, during the time that I was sick, I just stopped drinking, and I felt so much better, lost like 10 pounds, and just felt great.
	And then she thought that I looked absolutely fabulous, or so she said, not as fabulous as Mr.
	Israel.
	But anyway, so I stayed kind of on the wagon for about a month, and when she got back from Israel, I still was on the wagon, and I could just tell, and I was much more emotional.
	It was really, it was frightening.
	I would just, I'd be driving in my car, and I would think about my brother or think about my sister.
	I would start crying.
	This empathy just started, I don't know, just started to kind of develop...
	Once I was sober, once I'd been sober for a couple of weeks, it seemed like it got a person.
	You're not weighing down yourself with the depressant, right?
	And sugar, a huge amount of sugar and alcohol.
	People often sort of forget that, which is why you lost the weight.
	Alcohol is a depressant.
	It pushes you down.
	It inhibits your...
	It may disinhibit certain aspects of your personality, but I think it really does inhibit...
	Your feelings.
	Like, I've been around a few drunk people in my life, and there's nothing more grotesque than the supposed emotions of a drunk person.
	You know, everyone, I love you, man.
	I'm not saying you were like that, but that sort of saccharine sentimentality, and nothing to do with real emotion.
	Real emotion comes without, like, self-medication, and that's what self-medication, like alcoholism, is for, is to keep those true feelings abate.
	So it sort of makes sense to me, but go ahead.
	Okay.
	Okay, so anyway, she gets back from Israel, and I'm still just starting to kind of like maybe rediscover certain aspects of myself or whatever.
	I don't know, but I'm in just a highly emotional state, and then I'm getting this complete detachment and this suspected infidelity and dealing with rejection.
	I knew the end was near and that she was going to make the call, that the end was near.
	This guy was coming back.
	She said she couldn't forgive you in that, so I missed that part where you got back together.
	Oh, well, she had said that, but then she had also kind of left the door open.
	Well, let's continue to see one another, and let's see what happens, but as it stands right now.
	Coming back in August, we're just friends, but it was really good in Israel.
	It was just, you know, my youngest could do no wrong because she was his biological father and he was just very, you know, he was just very nice and accepting and it felt good.
	So I really want to try to bring, this is the villain, you know, the villain that I was supposed to, you know, don the armor for saving her from.
	He's coming back in August, and it was just pushing me away.
	So I continued this groveling, and we were still sleeping together for about five or six days until she finally ended it because of an argument.
	Her oldest daughter had been awful to me, and she didn't defend me at all, and then I just kind of took off from the house.
	The next morning, she ended the relationship.
	Then I still tried to get her back.
	I still tried to white knight it.
	She got really sick the next week.
	There were a couple of girls that cleaned my house.
	I sent them over to her house, did some grocery shopping.
	This was on my sister's recommendation because I was just sad.
	I asked my sister, what can I do to win her back?
	My sister said, you need to slay dragons for her.
	You need to do everything for her that she always wanted you to do and you need to let her know that you want to accept those children and this and that and the other thing.
	So your sister is like, I'm sorry, are you burdening under a heavy load?
	Here, let me throw some trees at you.
	Okay, got it.
	Yeah.
	It's funny because brothers are always told, you know, take care of your sister.
	Make sure that no bad guys are around your sister.
	The fuck is sister's job to take care of the boyfriends and the, sorry, to take care of the brothers and to make sure the predatory women don't get their hooks into the men.
	Anyway.
	Ah.
	Okay.
	I mean, she understands women a lot better than you.
	She is a woman.
	She should help protect you from this sort of stuff in the same way that I'm sure when you were younger you looked out for her.
	Anyway.
	Yeah, and she certainly is hypogamic.
	Is that the right word?
	I mean, she's in the film industry and will only date men in the industry or higher levels in that industry, too.
	Oh, so she's not going to be able to see this woman because it's...
	No, and I think she just wanted to say that her older brother was dating a former supermodel.
	I think that was kind of the big...
	So maybe she was trying to salvage it by having me grovel and demean myself and try to buy back my ex-girlfriend.
	Okay, so I continue for about a week to just demean myself and, you know, come over and do chores for her.
	And she's been sick, you know, because of the Israel thing and, you know, the long flights.
	And don't worry, Dave.
	You know, what do you need?
	You need your garden tilled?
	No pun intended.
	I actually brought a rototiller over and tilled the garden and this kind of thing.
	She's a New Age girl, so she has a goddess temple.
	The goddess, you know, all girls, you know, up here into the New Age women are goddesses.
	So she has this dome goddess temple.
	That I even helped her out with.
	Of course, I was sleeping with her the whole time, so that was the motive.
	Goddess temple is kind of a metaphor for how she makes a living, but anyway, go on.
	Yeah, I think so.
	And that's where this guy was staying.
	This guy was scheduled to stay in August.
	Anyway, it's an afternoon after I've done my latest demeaning chore, and we're laying together after sex.
	Everything is great.
	We make the plans.
	She's just like, oh, you won me back.
	This is fabulous.
	You're so much more present.
	You're sober.
	This is terrific.
	Making plans in July.
	Asking me to go up to Amas.
	Up to where?
	To go up to Amas.
	Up to the Hindu, the hugging saint.
	I just don't buy it.
	I'm an atheist anarchist.
	I thought it was just silly anyway, but I was going to go just because I was so bamboozled.
	And so, yeah, okay, fine.
	In a couple weeks, I'll do that.
	So we're laying there in bliss at post-sex, dopamines, endorphins, whatever.
	And then the phone rings.
	Her house phone rings.
	And she gets up, and it's the Israeli guy.
	And she stays on the phone for maybe 25 minutes.
	And a lot of it is just, oh, yeah, we'll Skype you tomorrow.
	Yeah, I'm going to try to get a truck.
	Okay, and this, that, and the other thing.
	It finally gets off the phone.
	And I just say, okay, well, now that we're back together, don't you think it's a little bit inappropriate, regardless of how platonic your relationship is?
	Father, that he would stay off the property?
	Why can't he just stay off the property and just rent a house?
	If he really wants to see your daughter, why can't he just lease a place for a month, sublet a place for a month?
	And then you guys kind of arranged.
	That would take a lot of pressure off our relationship because I'm uncomfortable with it.
	And there was just no...
	It was just heavily resisted.
	And then finally I fished it out of her.
	The only truth that I got from her was just, okay, if you want to...
	Okay, I don't want to hurt you, but ever since I've gotten back from Israel, I've been having romantic dreams, and I don't know.
	It just goes from there.
	So then it ended up in kind of a yelling match of just me feeling like I had been lied to.
	The entire relationship was based on a lie.
	I entered the relationship only under the circumstances that this guy was gone and out of the picture.
	That was what she was telling me, that he was the villain, and I was the hero.
	Why is the villain suddenly coming back in spite of my being here, you know, Having rebuilt the kingdom and put the keep together, and I have the princess protected and subsidized, why is he coming back?
	And why do you insist that he's inside the kingdom?
	And it just ended in a disaster.
	It was just a yelling match, and it was embarrassing, and now we're not talking, which is probably for the better.
	But I just feel like a complete tool.
	I feel like I totally demean myself, and...
	And just sold out, in spite of being an avid FDR listener.
	Well, it's also not like I was completely unavailable over the last year for a call, right?
	There's a reason you didn't call me until it was done, because I would have tried to take away your candy, right?
	Yes, yes, yep.
	Right, so it's better late than never, right?
	But there's a reason why you didn't say...
	You know, Steph, I'm lost in a fog of lust and vanity.
	Can you help, you know, throw a brother a line, right?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Now that it's over, you want to try and learn something, right?
	Yeah, which is even weaker, really.
	Now they took away my alcohol, I guess I'll quit drinking.
	Right?
	I mean, again, I'm not trying to be harsh, but I mean, it is sort of frustrating that you're like a listener.
	And as a listener, I care about your welfare.
	As a human being, I care about your welfare.
	But during the entire time of the relationship, if we can call it that, right, you didn't want...
	To have anything cock-blocking you, right?
	That's Steph Molyneux, professional cock-blocker, is sort of my new...
	I have ninja moves to block the penis from all dangerous vapid acid tombs of masculinity, right?
	Yeah, or to block access to the vagina.
	I think that's what cock-blocker means, isn't it?
	Yeah, yeah.
	A cockblocker is someone who just interferes with your ability to sleep with some woman, right?
	Oh, yes.
	That's right.
	That's right.
	Okay.
	So, where are things at now?
	Do you think you will talk to her again?
	Or, I mean, is this a pause to regroup before assaulting the beautiful citadel of infinite blackness?
	What's the status now?
	I don't think so.
	I don't know.
	You don't know?
	It's been about three weeks.
	You're telling me that you might restart a relationship with this woman?
	You've got to be honest, right?
	No, I don't.
	No, you just said I don't know.
	You can tell me the truth.
	It's your life, right?
	I'm not going to tell you what to do or what not to do.
	I just want you to be honest, right?
	Because you've just told me all this stuff.
	Red flag after red flag after lie after disaster after exploitation after spending money after blah, right?
	Yeah.
	And as I said, when you're starting a relationship with this woman again, you say, I don't know.
	I'm not sure.
	Maybe.
	Yeah, well, I guess I continue to have the fantasy that she could somehow kind of see the light and see how she was acting.
	Here we go.
	Ready for a scenario?
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Are you ready?
	Can you see my tits?
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Are you ready?
	Yes.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	I'm at the door.
	Hi.
	I have no top on.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, that would be tough.
	Look at this.
	Checking back and forth.
	Look at this.
	Here they go.
	My child is sleeping in my backpack.
	A gentle rocking always keeps that child asleep.
	What are you going to do?
	Oh, my God.
	Tell him, what are you going to do?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Open the door.
	I have to open the door.
	Hello.
	Come on in.
	The Israeli guy...
	He's on a plane.
	He's circling right above.
	He's going to land again tomorrow morning.
	But I'm not busy at all tonight.
	What are you going to do?
	What are you going to do?
	Well, I feel like I stood my ground in getting upset and leaving.
	I mean, I did leave.
	I said, okay, well, I won't tolerate that.
	I won't tolerate it.
	If he's coming back, that's...
	Yeah, probably at this point, I don't...
	I mean, you'd open the door for me, right?
	I got some moves.
	But for her, for sure, right?
	For me, you're thinking about swinging that pendulum both ways, aren't you, big boy?
	All right.
	I think that's about enough of that.
	Okay, but you would, right?
	You would really think about opening that door, right?
	Yeah, yeah.
	And probably just trying to lie to myself.
	No, look, I appreciate the honesty.
	You've got to tell me where you're at, right?
	So if she's crying and he left me and I've realized that you're the one and I was a fool and I'm so sorry and a little of this, then you're melting like a glacier sat on by an inferno elephant ass, right?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Completely short-circuited by her charms and beauty that she's been fine-tuning for over a decade.
	Now, you and I both know that if she was 50 pounds heavier, none of this would be happening, right?
	I know.
	Yeah, exactly.
	If she didn't have those flared Klingon cheekbones or whatever, right, then if she wasn't beautiful, this wouldn't be happening, right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, spider people with Klingon cheekbones and dead eyes.
	I think that was how you described it.
	Yeah, and nothing occurs that is not an attempt to milk the udders of beauty, right?
	To turn sex into money in one form or another, right?
	Everything is a manipulation.
	Everything is a manipulation.
	I bet you think back to everything that she said is designed for an effect, is not a spontaneous expression of genuine emotion.
	Oh my god, this was very commonplace in our interaction.
	She would compliment me and then I would question the compliment.
	And she would always say, oh, well, that's a way to turn a compliment into an insult.
	For instance, there was one incident.
	Where she said, look, when I met you back in spring, once I really spent a little bit of time with you, and I said, I can't sleep with this guy right away.
	I can't just have sex with him.
	He's not a guy to be taken lightly.
	And then I looked over and said, so if I were a man of less quality, you would have just had a fling with me.
	So, I mean, just things like that.
	There were all sorts of compliments that just didn't quite click with me, and I would question the compliment.
	No, no.
	Look, look, look.
	She was holding off the sex to hook you deeper.
	Right?
	That's all.
	She saw you as an easy mark and she saw you as somebody who could prop up her ego, a doofa for now, someone who could pay some bills or spend some money on her kids or on her and could give her the endorphins of sexual rush.
	And those endorphins last sort of four to six months, right?
	The romantic high lasts.
	So, you know, the fact that after six months and so on, right?
	But yeah, this, you know, women who have two different Kids by two different guys who play all Blanche DuBois, you know, I can't stand the sight of an unpeeled grape, you know, who get all virginal.
	It's like, oh, come on.
	I mean, you've been riding the cock carousel around the ferry, go around to the point where you can't even walk straight, and now you're kind of all like white lace and old-timey, you know, small-town girl.
	I mean, it's all nonsense, right?
	I mean, you can't undo that kind of history or that kind of emotional reality, right?
	Those kinds of choices, they become who you are.
	It's not in your past, it's who you are, especially by the time you're 30, you've got two kids, right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's Dan.
	It's not going anywhere.
	But look, you got, you wanted the drug, right?
	And you've talked about bliss, you know, the endorphins and the dopamine, and you got the sexual romantic bliss, you got the status.
	Of the arm candy, right?
	Yes.
	The arm candy.
	She's kind of the jewel of the valley.
	I get it.
	As guys, we're kind of driven for that, right?
	I mean, this is what our biology is telling us to do.
	To find the woman with the most even features, who's obviously fertile as this woman is, and that's what our biology is telling us to do.
	Photocopy, photocopy, photocopy, photocopy, photocopy, photocopy.
	Not to make art, not sand castles.
	Photocopy, photocopy, photocopy the genes.
	And so we are drawn to people who are going to give us higher status, right?
	I remember dating one woman who was just gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.
	And I was sort of joking about it with my boss one day at work.
	And he was like, yeah, you go to the restaurant with her.
	People probably think you're her bodyguard.
	That's probably quite true.
	But you get the status.
	It's a real high, isn't it?
	To be stepping out with a woman who is stunning, it makes you feel like, yes, I am, in fact, all that.
	I obviously don't have a lot of money, so clearly I have a giant wang.
	And whatever it is going to be, she chose me.
	And, of course, most people look at that and say that raises his status.
	Whereas I look at people, when I was young it was the same way.
	But when I look at people now and, you know, he's with this really attractive woman.
	The odds that she's a really great person are kind of inversely proportional to her attractiveness, right?
	The more attractive a woman is, usually the crazier they are.
	And now this may be true for men as well.
	I don't know.
	I mean, people say, well, why do you talk about women, not men?
	Because I don't date men.
	Never did.
	So, yeah, the fact that I talk about the people that I date is like, well, how come you don't talk about men?
	It's like, because I like gay singers, not the gay lifestyle.
	So, I sort of look at that.
	It's like when you see the rich guy with the beautiful woman, right?
	And he's like kind of old and kind of tubby or whatever it is, right?
	He's a rich guy, the Anna Nicole Smith, you know, with the 80-year-old guy in the wheelchair, right?
	I mean, okay, so...
	She's a gold digger and he's a whore for beauty.
	He's a beauty whore and she's a gold digger, right?
	And I'm not saying that was the case with you exactly, but there is such a sort of biological drive and desire for women to get men with more resources and for men to get women with fertility markers, right?
	Lustrous scare.
	Sorry, lustrous scare.
	Yeah, true.
	Lustrous scare.
	Hair even features hip-to-waist ratios that are attractive and so on, right?
	And the more attractive other people find that woman, the more that fuels our own desire for that woman, right?
	Status, yes.
	So you got, you kind of, you knew, obviously, that you were dipping your dick in pure acid, but you got what you wanted from it, right?
	So my question is, what's changed?
	I mean, if this is what you want, And philosophy, you know, self-knowledge may have something to say about it, but you're not initiating force or fraud, right?
	So you're not doing anything immoral by going for a sort of high ape status woman, right?
	So what's wrong with, what's the problem?
	I mean, I don't mean that facetiously, like genuinely, that is quite a high, and you can go step in from those kind of highs from here to eternity, right?
	The biology and the biological drivers will always be there.
	So you can go and find either her and continue this on for another 6 or 12 months or a year or two or whatever and then you can go and find some other beautiful woman who's highly dysfunctional and toxic and continue to do that and you will keep getting that high.
	I've never had a relationship.
	I think maybe just a general low self-esteem.
	I mean, I'm not self-made.
	I have a few small businesses but my mom helped me get...
	I get one.
	I inherited some money from my stepfather.
	Wait, you go surfing in Bali for six weeks?
	Yeah.
	Oh, I'm an assistant that handles a lot of stuff.
	No, no, it isn't.
	But yeah, so I'm not self-made.
	So you got some money, right?
	I've inherited my money from my stepfather, who was really wealthy, who my mom would have never married had he not had the money he had.
	Right.
	What else?
	I think moving up here, I moved up here with another woman, another really attractive.
	Hang on a sec.
	Sorry, hang on a sec.
	Okay, okay.
	So, for a man to inherit money is like a woman to be born with beauty.
	It's a value you did not earn, right?
	Right.
	Ah, yes.
	Right, so I don't know if you've seen the movie Frozen.
	I don't know if you've got a seven-year-old girl in the house.
	You probably have.
	But in the movie Frozen, it's like, women are born with, these girls are born with amazing powers.
	And so it's like, well, that's just physical beauty, right?
	The movie's just basically about physical beauty.
	So for a woman to be born beautiful is for, like, a man to inherit money.
	It provides sexual value, which you don't have to earn.
	Right?
	Right.
	Along with the guilt of having not earned it?
	I mean, do you think that a woman would be guilty for...
	I would think it would be easier for a woman to have pride in her genetics than it would be for the man to have just happened to come into...
	No, no.
	Pride in genetics is like, I'm proud for being white!
	White pride, brother!
	Right?
	I mean, somebody's going to spice that out and put that in a meme somewhere.
	But white pride, which is pride in your genetics...
	It's identical to beauty pride, which is pride in genetics.
	The beautiful people are a superior Aryan race that deserve to dominate the dark and Jewish people of the world, right?
	Well, the beautiful people are a superior race who should dominate the less attractive people, right?
	This beauty genetics is just the same as white power.
	It's just beauty, right?
	It's the unearned that you think makes you more valuable because beauty is an accident.
	Now, It's true that women work hard to stay beautiful, right?
	I mean, they diet and they exercise and all that kind of stuff.
	But it's like, well, sure, because they get paid a huge amount for doing that.
	They make a lot of money for doing that.
	If somebody paid me half a million dollars a year to have a six-pack, I wouldn't be talking to you.
	I'd be doing crunches until my head fell off, right?
	So beautiful women, yeah, they work hard to, not work hard, I guess, but they expend effort into maintaining that beauty for sure.
	Yeah.
	massive amounts of money to do that, either explicitly, like if they're actors or models or news anchors or if they're just beautiful women who want to hook a rich man, right?
	They get huge amounts of money.
	So if I was paid $1,000 every time I didn't have a piece of cake, well, guess what?
	Not a big cake diet in my vocabulary, right?
	But a woman of average looks or below average looks who diets and exercise is going to look better, but she's still not going to be competing with the tens, right?
	I mean, no matter what, right?
	No.
	So this pride in looks...
	It's an accident.
	It's an accident of birth.
	And it's not saying don't be happy that you're good.
	I mean, you're a good looking guy, very good looking guy, right?
	And so I'm not saying, you know, you have to be ashamed of being attractive.
	It's not like a bad thing or it's not a good thing, but it certainly is not an earned thing, right?
	You have a great head of hair.
	I have almost no hair, which I actually really like because I can get ready to go out in about 38 seconds, right?
	But it's not like you went...
	Well, my hairline's good.
	Yeah, you may not be talking to the right guy about a high hairline.
	You and I would have a forehead when I get 1200.
	But no, what I mean is that you didn't sort of like work to keep your hair and I didn't sort of work to lose my hair.
	It's just an accident of genetics.
	It's just whatever your genes say to the hair, keep growing or don't, right?
	Some people are born kind of lean and some people are born kind of chunky.
	And I've known people who, like, guys who, you know, they're like, rail thin, and they eat like crazy, and they just can't, there's got that metabolism, right?
	Other people, you know, they glance at a piece of cheesecake, and, you know, one of their ass cheeks pops, like a piece of buttered corn.
	So, a lot of this stuff is just accidental.
	It's just genetic, right?
	I've got a really nice jawline, a good face, and all that.
	I didn't earn any of that stuff.
	I mean, it's just the way that I happen to be born.
	I hope that I can use whatever physical attractiveness I have for the power of good, right?
	So that maybe it's a little easier to watch me do videos than if I look like the ass end of a camel or something.
	So great.
	So I'll try and use that to, you know, and I'll exercise partly because I enjoy it and also partly because as a semi-public figure who represents philosophy, I shouldn't look like a ridiculous slob, right?
	So, but this is not things that I earned.
	These are things that were just accidents of birth.
	I have an accent that some people find pleasing to listen to.
	That's great.
	I just happened to be born and grew up in England and then sort of blended over into Canada.
	So I got this weird kind of, can't figure it out, but kind of vaguely interesting accent.
	Great!
	I didn't earn that.
	I didn't sort of study it or anything like that.
	Now, philosophy I've studied and I've sort of earned that knowledge.
	But, I mean, we all know this, right?
	So, I mean, if you inherit a lot of money, it's kind of crippling, right?
	I don't know how much money you inherit, and you certainly don't have to tell me.
	But it's like if you inherit $10 million, which is kind of what a supermodel does, right, in terms of her looks.
	If you inherit $10 million, it doesn't make you a bad person, right?
	It certainly doesn't make you a good person.
	but my hope would be that people would try and use that money for good.
	Now, good doesn't mean giving it away.
	Good could mean investing in good businesses or starting a business, hiring people, creating a productive work environment, looking for a cure for cancer, whatever it's going to be, right?
	But to inherit a certain amount of beauty, particularly for a woman but also for men as well, is to have inherited great value in the dating market, great economic value, right?
	It's like being born tall for guys, right?
	The tall guy always gets elected president.
	The tall guys are always, you know, they earn more per year and so on.
	And it's not like you got to feel bad for being tall, but recognize that you have accidentally good fortune And then try and recognize that you can use that to sort of further the cause of humanity kind of thing, right?
	But it doesn't sound like this has been the approach of your ex-girlfriend to say, look, well, I happen to have been born with great beauty, and that gives me great power.
	And with great power comes great responsibility, comes hopefully the capacity to use that for good, right?
	So if your ex-girlfriend, who's stunning, I assume, If she were to say, you know, it'd be great to really study up and do a show on anti-spanking, on philosophy, on wisdom, on virtue, because if I'm that good-looking, guys are going to tune in to watch me just because I'm that good-looking, and I can really use that beauty to get a great message across to the world that people otherwise might really not...
	Be interested, right?
	So there's this woman, Prax Girl.
	I had her on the show.
	Very, very pretty woman.
	And she's with her boyfriend.
	I think it's her boyfriend.
	They're scripting together these shows about Austrian economics and they're getting pretty decent views and all that.
	Because, you know, she's easy on the eyes and we all know that that sort of helps.
	To get a message across.
	Tune into, right?
	So, these are just some thoughts in my head about what people could do with the great powers that they have.
	You've inherited some money, you're a very good-looking guy, so there's some stuff that you could do that would be very beneficial to the world, but it seems like you're just taking that capacity for doing good in the world and throwing it down a well.
	Yeah, I guess just trying to seduce, well, getting things done, getting things done, but trying to find a Beautiful women to seduce time after time and falling into codependent relationships over and over again.
	And do you work?
	Yes.
	And do you work full-time?
	Yeah.
	Well, I mean, I have an organic farm.
	I sell to some farmer's markets here, lease a portion of the farm out, have a small wire brush business, just a few, you know, odd...
	No, because you're just saying, girlfriend calls, like, it's the middle of the afternoon, you're like, I'll be right over, which is not...
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, no, no.
	Oh, and I went to Bali for six weeks.
	And, you know, so you're not like a full-time working guy, right?
	It's okay.
	I mean, I'm curious.
	Yeah, no.
	No, I guess not.
	You got some flexibility.
	And the flexibility comes from the money that you inherited.
	Is that right?
	Yeah, but I still think in terms of organic farming, in terms of the wire brush business, I'd still say it.
	I'd easily do an eight-hour-a-day workway, whether it's chopping wood or whether it's...
	I don't know.
	Chopping wood?
	I'm sorry, what?
	Oregon, yeah.
	What do you think your IQ is?
	Well, that's...
	What the fuck are you doing chopping wood?
	Are you kidding me?
	You've got to have an IQ of at least 120 to listen to this show, in my opinion.
	Wow, thanks.
	All right.
	I like to think so.
	I think that's just maybe therapy.
	I've just recently taken it upon...
	I bought a ton of uncut wood, like $3,000 worth, and I was going to try to just double my money.
	Because I burn a ton of wood.
	I burn like eight cords of wood here a year.
	And over the breakup, I just decided that I'd kind of like...
	I thought that I might get over the breakup if I hand-chopped 20 cords of wood, so that would be kind of therapeutic to me.
	But I also listen to podcasts while I'm chopping.
	I won't ask what you're picturing when you're chopping all that wood with an axe!
	But, alright.
	Oh, that's kind of scary.
	Yeah, getting over the breakup.
	No, it's nothing like that, but it's just...
	I don't know.
	I look at it as saving money on a gym membership.
	But I also listen to the membership show.
	I'm sorry to interrupt after just asking you a question, but let's go talk about your female template, right?
	So let's go talk about Mommy Dearest.
	Yo, Mama.
	My mom...
	I don't know.
	She was...
	It was kind of a sad story.
	Shall I start there?
	Or that was later in life.
	I don't know.
	Her sisters would kind of make fun of her.
	She was kind of the dingy one.
	I think that she's quite an intelligent woman.
	I don't know what dingy means.
	Like woo-woo?
	I feel like her sisters constantly belittled her.
	They My family on my mother's side is very articulate.
	My grandmother was quite an entrepreneur and built a real estate empire in Southern California for a short time.
	But then she went batshit crazy.
	But anyway, my mother was really verbally abused by my grandmother and never really parented by either one.
	My grandfather was just aloof and absent.
	My mom didn't go to college.
	She was a flight attendant.
	She was really physically beautiful.
	She was kind of seduced by my father.
	I don't respect my father at all.
	My father I look at as kind of just a bully older brother.
	I was really unparented.
	I feel like I passed him up when I was 17 or 18.
	Do you want me to pause here with the alarm bell screaming in my head or do you want me to just make a note and you can continue?
	Depending.
	What do you think?
	I mean, you want to go into something?
	I could take a break here.
	Yeah, I could take a break here and let me know.
	Sure.
	All right.
	Go for it.
	How blunt do you want the conversation to be?
	I always like to ask that because, you know, some people like a little more sugar and some people not so much.
	Oh, go for it, man.
	All right.
	With your very kind permission.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You said you don't respect your father.
	No, I don't.
	Why?
	Because you said he was, what, he married your mom just because she was pretty?
	Well, I think, yeah.
	Well, I don't respect my father because I don't think he ever had the...
	Actually, I should...
	God, it's tough.
	No, you're stalling because you're trying to skate past what I just said.
	Okay.
	I'm not saying consciously, right?
	Okay.
	Your father married your mom because she was pretty.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	And obviously the parallels are so clear I don't even need to point them out, right?
	No.
	Right?
	He was aloof from the children in the house and you're disappointed when the kid is awake because you don't get to bang the mom, right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So tell me what it is in your father that you don't respect that is different in you.
	God, I don't know if that was true.
	I asked you if you wanted me to be blunt, right?
	And you said go for it, so I'm going for it.
	And I'm not trying to say you're a bad guy.
	I'm just trying to really give you the strength to break these patterns.
	You've got to see them, then you can break them, right?
	So, what are you doing that is so different from your dad that you get to not respect him, but respect yourself?
	And I'm open.
	Look, I'm just talking to you for the first time.
	There could be six million things.
	I'm just asking the question.
	Yeah, well, I haven't.
	I mean, I feel like I haven't started a family yet.
	I haven't subjected kids to, you know, a dysfunctional relationship with a woman.
	My father was...
	Wait, wait, wait.
	You didn't just say that to me, did you?
	No, no.
	I must turn.
	I must turn.
	I must...
	Walk it off.
	Walk it off.
	Okay.
	Are you going to tell me you have not subjected kids to a dysfunctional relationship?
	I just spent the last six months doing that.
	Yes, you did.
	Yeah, and it was totally selfish, and it was just...
	Hey, little girl!
	You're seven!
	Can I show you something?
	I can show you how a man can abase himself for the sake of a pretty face and an evil heart.
	This is how you get men.
	This is what women can do to men.
	This is what men will do with their penises.
	Good luck!
	In the future!
	Right?
	Yeah.
	I was doing damage to her kids by showing her children that what her mom is doing is working.
	Oh, kids!
	You're home!
	Damn!
	That's bad.
	Oh, son, you're awake!
	Is the little one a boy?
	No, two girls.
	Two girls.
	Okay.
	Oh, little girl, you're awake.
	That's bad.
	I'm sorry about that.
	That's terrible.
	Right?
	I mean, I would...
	Yeah, there would definitely be a disappointment.
	I know you'd cover it, but kids know everything.
	Yeah.
	Huh.
	What other men...
	That these children have been exposed to...
	Now, please understand, I'm not putting you in the same category as the two ex-dads.
	I'm not.
	You're not the same guy.
	I'd have a totally different conversation with them, which would probably involve some sort of aerial strike, right?
	But...
	So I'm not putting you in the same category, but you have definitely exposed children to a dysfunctional relationship.
	Okay.
	And you have said to...
	Both the little girls, that men will choose beauty over quality.
	And they've already seen a lot of that with the ex-fathers, right?
	They all feel rejected by two fathers already, right?
	One who was obviously completely borderline or crazy, and the other one who's absent and manipulative and deadbeat and all that, right?
	I mean, I guess he ain't paying...
	Are either of them paying any kind of money to support their kids?
	The first one, I think, a few hundred dollars a month.
	The second one just took off to Israel finding out she was pregnant.
	Classy.
	Classy.
	Yeah, yeah, classy.
	Why did she choose to keep the kids?
	I mean, why not just give them up for adoption?
	Biology, I guess.
	I don't know.
	I mean, probably lust and the fact that maybe she was in school, and I think that she was maybe not doing well in school.
	She was in her late 20s.
	Her existing child wanted a sibling really bad.
	Oh, okay.
	No, no, but the first kid she had in her mid-20s, right?
	Yeah, in her early 20s, while she was engaged to this other dude in Paris, and she got pregnant and decided to have the kid.
	I think that was close to legitimate.
	Okay.
	All right, so let's get back to your dad.
	So what is it that you disrespect in your dad that you haven't manifested, to a lesser degree?
	I agree with you.
	You haven't married this woman, you didn't have kids with her, and you haven't given those kids 18 years of bad relationship imprinting, right?
	But to a lesser degree, you're in the same category, right?
	Yes, yes.
	Okay.
	And the only thing that was fundamentally valuable about this woman was her looks.
	The only thing.
	Yeah, I mean, there really wasn't any, there really was no inquiry into what makes me tick, into what I, you know, I mean, I couldn't really...
	There was no philosophy.
	It was pretty sad.
	Even on date night, it was kind of boring.
	There were multiple occasions when she and I were out to dinner.
	I was getting about the same entertainment as I was when I was hanging out and reading to the kids.
	There wasn't really that much there.
	Right.
	Right.
	And you didn't particularly like the children, if I understand it correctly.
	Well, I thought I did.
	The little one really warmed up to me.
	I mean, the little one was only a year old when I met her, and she just absolutely loved me.
	That was kind of nice.
	The seven-year-old once I started...
	No, it's not kind of nice.
	Right?
	This is the kind of empathy that I'm trying to provoke in you.
	Right?
	Oh, because it was false.
	It was just...
	No, I mean, let's say she bonded with you.
	Now what?
	Yeah.
	You're gone.
	Oh.
	Right?
	Like her dad.
	Yeah.
	Men will leave.
	Yes.
	You bond, they go.
	Which the eldest daughter knew.
	Guaranteed she knew.
	Which is why she was hostile.
	She knew that you weren't going to stick around because she knows her mother a lot better than you did because you were blinded by looks and lust, right?
	Yes.
	I didn't give a shit how pretty my mom was and she was very, very beautiful because I knew what her heart looked like and the daughter knew what her heart looked like.
	And I'm telling you, as a kid who saw guys like you rotating through my mom's life, I had no respect for these guys because I knew who my mom was and I knew there was only one goddamn reason.
	Those guys were there.
	Even from an early age.
	Those guys were there, and it rhymes with a little town known as Regina, right?
	Yeah.
	One reason that those guys were there, and that's the only reason why you were there.
	And that they pretended to be interested in my mom, that they pretended to listen to her when all they wanted to do was spread her legs and bend her in two, right?
	Yeah.
	And you think the kids pick up on this even before they're...
	I mean, they just instinctively know.
	Oh, my God.
	Children are genetically programmed and instinctually aware of all dynamics within the family.
	Because that's what they live on.
	They live on the family.
	The family is their source of income.
	Their sole source of income, right?
	They're like a farmer with one crop that's going to keep them alive.
	Well, you're pretty fucking focused on that crop, right?
	Yes.
	And her mother was her sole source of...
	If you're going to date single moms, you don't meet the kids until there's a serious commitment going on.
	Because you cannot...
	Especially single mom, the kids have already been rejected by one dad, right?
	Yes.
	Or they've already seen one relationship break up, right?
	Which is incredibly traumatic to children.
	And this is why if you're dating single moms, you cannot...
	Get involved in the kid's life until you know, to a fair degree of certainty, that the relationship is going to be permanent.
	Because you're pursuing your selfish lusts, and the mom is pursuing her selfish lusts, vanity, neediness, codependence, bullshit, right?
	But it's the children who get really harmed.
	And you've talked about the harm that you experienced.
	My heart is broken, this and that and the other.
	But you have not, to my knowledge, processed anything to do with the harm that those innocent children have suffered as the result of your pursuit of the mom's vagina.
	No, not at all.
	That was very self-centered.
	And then when you say, well, my dad was aloof and didn't really care about the kids, this is why I'm jumping around in this little room, right?
	Oh, I was describing my grandfather to my mom, who was very aloof and didn't really care about the kids, but my father was constantly away and really not very interested.
	He would play on a superficial level.
	Okay, so you understand it's the same thing, right?
	He'd play on a superficial level, but his heart wasn't in it, which is exactly the description of you with this woman's kids, right?
	You're playing with them, but not because you like them, but because you want to sleep with the mom.
	Not even because you want to talk with the mom.
	Yeah.
	Now, don't get me wrong, there's times when you ignore children's needs to talk to the other parent, right?
	There's times when it's like, with my daughter, I'm like, no, I'm not sitting in the back when we drive somewhere because I haven't talked to mom all day, so I'm going to spend an hour chatting with mom.
	Well, I want to chat too.
	It's like, well, you can chat when we're done, but we need adult time.
	We need adult time to chat.
	And that happens sometimes, and there's nothing wrong with that.
	I think it's actually kind of healthy, right?
	Because she's going to learn about marriage from watching my wife and I love each other, not from us just staring at her saying, I love you, right?
	Yes.
	So this lack of empathy for the effects on the children would seem to have come from your father and the grandfather, right?
	Yeah, that's terrible.
	And I don't think it's something that's crossed your mind, right?
	And I'm not trying to make you feel bad.
	I'm just sort of pointing out that this is not something that seems to have crossed your mind, right?
	No, I don't think so.
	Or the mom's mind.
	Certainly not the mom's mind.
	Oh, she's all like, fuck the kids.
	Fuck the kids.
	Mommy wants endorphins, right?
	My mom's had a lot of boyfriends.
	That's what her seven-year-old has told me before.
	Right, and all of them are there at the expense of the children.
	Certainly.
	Because all her mom knows is seduction.
	She's just kind of a one-trick pony, which may be a lot of women of that caliber.
	Did she take her kids back to Israel?
	She took both of them.
	Yeah, she seemed like a good mom.
	That was another thing.
	She's loving.
	She's there for them.
	She cooks for them.
	She's always there for them.
	I mean, I was kind of the outsider.
	I was constantly neglected.
	That's why I wonder, what am I really missing?
	I mean, I was just in the background, and she was there with her kids, and I would kind of come and go.
	Yeah.
	So that's what I'm wondering.
	What am I even missing in the relationship?
	There wasn't really a relationship.
	I was just kind of a backdrop.
	What do you mean?
	No, no, no.
	Don't you whine to me about being a backdrop, my friend.
	Come on.
	The whole goddamn family was a backdrop to your penis.
	I didn't really like her.
	It was really boring going for dinner with her.
	But I felt like a backdrop.
	It's like her entire, the children, the family structure, the ex-boyfriends, they were all a backdrop to your lust, right?
	Yes.
	Right, so it's kind of precious for you to complain about being a backdrop and not having much of a connection when you were only there for one thing, right?
	Yeah.
	I mean, why would they open the biodome to you if you're just passing through for some sex and status, right?
	yeah yeah and then the jealousy that they weren't mine I was suppressing feelings of just being jealous that they weren't my children, like this girl that I was so lusty over.
	And she was sweet on a superficial level and kind of bolstering my ego on all these levels that I've kind of aforementioned.
	Yeah, okay.
	You're giving me the abstractions again.
	So we're just starting to talk about your effect on the kids and what do you feel about that?
	Guilty.
	Okay, so let's talk about that.
	Let's talk about that.
	Because this is the damage that you're doing to yourself and your capacity to love, right?
	Yeah.
	Okay, so you had an effect on the kids.
	Do you want me to talk more about it, or do you want to talk about it?
	I'd like you to talk more about it, but I feel like is she more at fault than I am?
	Are we both just at fault?
	She's the gatekeeper of the children's hearts.
	She's the gatekeeper of the children's security.
	She's responsible like someone left the door unlocked, but you're still the thief.
	She's responsible like she left a wallet on a bus, but you still took the wallet.
	Yeah.
	So you're not like a break-in-hand guy.
	So she's responsible, but you did it.
	Yeah, reasonable provocation.
	Right.
	So as far as the kids go, they're growing up in an incredibly unstable environment with...
	Which I felt...
	Yeah, go ahead.
	Which I felt like I was adding stability to.
	I mean, I would read to her oldest daughter and, you know, got...
	It wasn't all bad.
	It wasn't all just disappointment.
	No, it was all bad.
	Because you think that you having positive interactions with the children is a plus.
	But it's not a plus if you leave.
	Because then they miss you.
	As they miss the two biological fathers.
	As they miss the extended family.
	As they miss the stability.
	As they miss all the stuff that they should be having as kids.
	When you say leave, do you mean when I took off for my month's surf trip or when I would leave after, you know...
	No, no.
	That you had no intention of staying for the long run.
	I fantasized about that.
	Were you going to marry this woman?
	No, she bored you.
	You had no intellectual, no philosophy, no intellectual connection whatsoever.
	No values in common?
	Other than a disregard for the children's welfare, no values in common.
	Vanity is not a value.
	Selfishness is not a value.
	Lust is not a value.
	No.
	When I was older, you just shared vices.
	Well, shared self-indulgences, you know, vices, yeah.
	I mean, I guess you could say because the kids are involved and all that, right?
	But you're like, well, no, I was nice to the kids, and you really think that makes it better.
	Let's say you were super nice to the kids, and then the relationship breaks up.
	You get that that's worse, right?
	Much worse.
	Right?
	Well, I got the guy addicted to heroin and then I stopped giving him any heroin.
	Right?
	So if you had a connection and they really liked you and then you left, well, that's probably the tenth or twelfth guy who's done that, right?
	Brick by brick, layer by layer of selfish assholes connecting with the children for the sake of banging the mom and then moving on.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	So this is their view of men and women.
	And the more positive your interactions with them were, the worse it is when you turn out to be just like everyone else in their eyes.
	Oh, okay.
	The worse the heartbreak and the worse the disappointment.
	The more they feel fooled and the more they will harden their hearts against getting, quote, fooled ever again, right?
	Okay.
	Which I felt like the oldest was already quite hardened to because she was, you know, she was pretty terrible to me.
	Oh, my God.
	You're just killing me.
	You're killing me.
	She was terrible to you?
	She's seven!
	Yeah, yeah, okay.
	You were terrible to her!
	Okay.
	Don't give me your victim.
	I was victimized by the seven-year-old routine, which you've done a couple of times in this conversation, and you asked me to be frank.
	I can change that if you want.
	No, no, no.
	But you were terrible to her.
	Because you were pursuing your selfish lust at the expense of her relationship with her mother too.
	Okay.
	How does she feel about her mom constantly pulling these guys in who are only there for the sex and who only put up with the kids to bang the mom?
	How does she feel about her mom?
	What kind of toxicity are you enabling and enhancing in the daughter's relationship with the mom?
	How are they getting along?
	They seem to be getting along okay.
	It seemed like all the hostility would be directed towards me.
	Sure.
	Absolutely.
	And that is not where it really is.
	Where it really is, you were only there because of the choice of the mom, right?
	You're not a rapist.
	You were only there because of the choice of the mom.
	Of course she's going to direct her hostility at you because you're not her meal ticket.
	You're not her provider.
	It's safer to get angry at you than it is to get angry at her own mom.
	But trust me, deep down in her wise, deep seven-year-old heart, she knows exactly who to blame.
	And that's going to come out when she's a teenager.
	Sure as sunrise.
	Sure as sunrise.
	That is going to come out when she's a teenager.
	Right now, she's too dependent.
	When she's a teenager, she can get a peer network going.
	She's got some legal independence.
	She can call the cops.
	She can report her mom.
	She can manipulate.
	She gets a lot of power when she's a teenager, which is why the teenage years are called so difficult, when all it is is a reflection of the early parenting styles of parents.
	Hey, when you have the power, you spanks me.
	When I have the power, I'll sleep around.
	I'm sorry?
	Yeah, you did say there was kind of an incubation period and where early childhood trauma doesn't really manifest itself in the behavior of the kid until 12, 13, 12.
	Yeah, it's called latency.
	It's sort of six years old till puberty.
	Six or seven years old till puberty.
	So I'm, you know, I'm not trying to sort of make you feel bad or rake you through the coals.
	I'm trying to awaken the conscience that you have within you, which is why you called me.
	I'm trying to awaken the conscience so you will avoid situations like this.
	Because I think we can basically say this has not been a great experience overall for you other than the sexual highs, right?
	No.
	And you don't want to be doing this again, right?
	No, no.
	I'm 38.
	I can't afford to.
	And certainly nobody's kids can afford to.
	Right.
	No one else's kids.
	Yeah, because those kids are stuck in kind of a hellhole, right?
	The mom doesn't have a job, right?
	No, she doesn't have a job.
	She's completely enabled.
	I mean, her parents are enabling this behavior.
	Right.
	So they basically see a woman who's able to hook guy after guy after guy in just based on her looks, and they never stick around.
	Yeah.
	And they just want grandkids and they just want...
	Oh, there was one...
	I think that one of the big motivators of she getting pregnant for the second time was just because she was back in school and she didn't like it or felt maybe she wasn't doing well in school and she knew that if she got pregnant that her parent...
	She was the baby of the family.
	So she went from being the spoiled baby to the family to the supermodel and then ends up pregnant back in Southern Oregon.
	It's just a different way to make money with her body.
	Having kids is just a different way for her to make money from her body.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	I mean, I swear to God, I don't know what percentage it is, but I bet you it's pretty high.
	How many kids are basically just money hostages?
	They're money hostages to the state through welfare, they're money hostages to ex-husbands through child support payments and alimony, and they're money hostages to grandparents, which is, well, do you want us to be out on the street?
	Then give us some fucking money.
	They're hostages.
	Yeah.
	She was willing to have a third kid with me, but I said no.
	Right, because you had no intention of sticking around.
	Yeah, I lost your video.
	I don't know.
	Oh, there you go.
	Yeah, because you really had no intention of sticking around, right?
	And she was willing to have another kid with you because you got some money.
	Yeah.
	Because then she would have a financial hostage for you, right?
	Yes.
	I'm sure.
	Now in retrospect.
	Are you still there?
	Let's say that I was a woman of quality.
	Right?
	Let's say that I was a wise, intelligent, attractive...
	I won't take my top off again.
	Don't be too scared.
	But let's say that I'm sort of a wise, intelligent, self-knowledgeable, attractive, you know, physically, spiritually, whatever, right?
	Intelligent, wise woman, right?
	And I'm hearing this story from you.
	Where am I? You would go around.
	There would be a...
	Yeah.
	I would be like, oh my God.
	It'd be three blocks away.
	Right?
	Is this guy 38 or 13?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	So, what this tells me is that there's no one in your life, and this is by design, because I could have been in your life a year ago or six months ago, right?
	You could have had this girl with me then, right?
	But you didn't.
	So, you have, both through historical accident of where you were born and through conscious choices and adults, you have excluded people from your life who can get the wet fish of reason out and give you a slap upside the head, right?
	Right.
	Yes.
	Because it is going to be very challenging for you to act wisely, right?
	There's some secondary gains you get from these impulsive, self-destructive and child and other destructive actions, right?
	In other words, if somebody comes up to you and says, you are living the wrong way!
	You are living the wrong way!
	You can do so much better!
	You don't have to be a shaved ape after bouncing boobs.
	You don't have to be this kind of person who satisfies his own lust at the expense of innocent, dependent and helpless children.
	You don't have to live this way.
	You can live so much better.
	You can earn better.
	And when you earn better, you will deserve better.
	And you will look back upon this period of your life with horror.
	And you could be a great dad.
	And you could be a great husband.
	And you could be a great entrepreneur.
	And you could be a great contributor and productive member to a virtuous community in the world.
	and you could leave a footprint on the world that was you leaping to the top of the mountain rather than you trying to dig another well back down to the sewers of history, right?
	You could have that, you could do that, you could be that.
	There's nobody in your life who you want to be in your life really who is willing to say that stuff to you and encourage you to a better place, right?
	So that tells me that you are surrounded by people who are going to defend and enable your worst instincts.
	To their benefit.
	You think I'm calling you selfish.
	Your parents, there is not even word enough to say how much, right?
	The fuck is your mom not saying, are you kidding me?
	She looks this way and she has used these looks to bang two idiots.
	Into having children.
	She has no fucking job.
	She has no education.
	She has no money.
	She's got lunatic exes and guys who run off to Israel when she gets pregnant.
	Are you kidding me?
	Nobody is that pretty!
	Helen of Troy is not that pretty to overcome that amount of dangerous bullshit, right?
	No, no.
	It's so embarrassing.
	And your mom is like, she's great!
	You should have a baby with her.
	You should marry her.
	She's the one.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	Oh my God!
	Is there any capacity for some human being to have less self-knowledge and less care for their offspring than your mom?
	Right?
	One word.
	Run!
	Run!
	Do not pass go.
	Do not take the triple bag condom off.
	Do not let this woman near your bed.
	Run!
	Right?
	Yeah.
	This isn't even subtle.
	This isn't even like, well, she was a lawyer and she seemed to be, but then it turned out she was a bunny boiler.
	I mean, this is like, right?
	I mean, this isn't like a little pothole.
	This is like a fucking Arizona meteor crater that you're about to drive into and people are like, yeah, fuck it, the gas looks great.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Both my mom and my sister and maybe people up here.
	So, fuck them!
	Get it?
	Fuck them!
	They are dangerous, toxic people who don't warn you of harming children and what that is going to do to your conscience.
	Part of that in your mind, that two-year-old and that seven-year-old that you harmed for the sake of your lust will always be present in your mind.
	To one degree or another.
	Because you can't undo it, right?
	You can't go back and fix it.
	Yeah.
	I mean, you can't even apologize.
	There are seven, right?
	And to apologize is to damn the mother, which is going to make things even more difficult and so on, right?
	So fuck them if they don't care about the kids or the woman you're dating.
	And fuck them if they don't care about your heart.
	And if you're lost in a sexual daze, somebody needs to wake you up.
	That's what people who love each other do, right?
	If you're drunk and staggering towards a canyon, I tackle you, right?
	If I care anything about you, I tackle you.
	I don't just say, hey, looks great.
	Swan dive.
	I'm sure there's something soft at the bottom.
	Push, right?
	No.
	And what about your friends?
	Did you tell this story to any of your friends?
	What did they say?
	Yoga teaches anybody.
	Hold on, my cell phone's ringing.
	I'm going to turn it off.
	Sorry, I had to turn the cell phone off.
	I mean, that would depend, you know, because I have two sets of friends, you know, that one from Southern California and friends from up here.
	I don't have that many close friends up here because I've only moved up here.
	I've only been here for two and a half years.
	Do you have anyone that you told this story to who tried to help you?
	Before, right...
	I do.
	I have a few friends that mention, for the sake of the kids, it sounds like you need to end the relationship.
	And a friend of mine, a really good fishing buddy of mine I was fishing with a couple weeks ago, when I was just wallowing and whining, he mentioned the kids again.
	He's just like, look, just think of her kids.
	Think of how much better it is for her kids.
	Yeah, I mean, before you harmed them.
	One friend.
	And did he fight hard for this?
	Or did he just sort of in passing?
	Just, we've mentioned it a few times.
	He was up here in the fall and he kind of mentioned it.
	He's like, look, she is a package deal, man.
	I mean, you either need to accept the kids and the family and that's that or you need to let it go.
	This is not about you and your friends, right?
	But it's like, why as human beings do we not care about each other enough to really fight for what is needed, for what is necessary, for what is important, right?
	To protect you!
	I think it's just a weakness.
	I think it's just an impulsive...
	No, you need people around you who are going to fight for you when you're making mistakes.
	Look, we all make mistakes.
	We all make mistakes.
	Most of them led by the penis, but we all make mistakes.
	And you need people around you who...
	Look, shit could have happened, right?
	I mean, she might have had an STD. She might have gotten pregnant with some other guy and put you down as the birth father.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And then welcome to like 18 years of child support or fighting God knows what in court for whatever, for however long, right?
	Yeah, that would have been horrific.
	One of those kids might have dropped a brick on you while you were napping.
	I don't know.
	Yeah.
	Like, it's not just conscience, it's like safety.
	Yeah.
	She had a child with a guy who gave her death threats.
	And threaten suicide.
	Yeah.
	And then had another kid with a guy that she had only known for two months.
	Right.
	And then said to you, let's have another kid.
	Well, good for you for keeping the wrapper on, but my God, this is some dangerous shit.
	She might have put a whole thing on him.
	She might have sperm-checked you.
	She might have grabbed it out of the...
	Wastepaper basket and put the sperm up there, right?
	And then, bang!
	Ooh, look at that!
	I guess we accidentally got pregnant!
	Ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching, right?
	Yeah.
	That may have happened with the last guys.
	We don't know.
	Haven't heard their side of the story, right?
	No, no, her side of the story is that they were deliberately trying to get her pregnant.
	You know, she's holding the story of victimhood, of just like, look, he told me that...
	Unless they're the fucking Holy Ghost, it's going to be a little bit tricky for them to deliberately try to get her pregnant, since she's kind of in charge of that gate, right?
	Yeah.
	Oh, no, it was her.
	Yeah, it was...
	That was her.
	But they were not being careful.
	I mean, women have 18 different methods of birth control, not even counting pinking shears.
	So...
	This deliberately trying to...
	I mean, anyway.
	So what I mean is, like, so...
	So you have...
	I don't know if...
	Do you not know that there's, like, better people out there who will really watch your back?
	Other than her or other than the existing friends that I have that haven't...
	That did not warn me, that did not...
	Well, actually, there was another friend, a buddy of mine, a neighbor, who had dated her 10 years ago.
	And he pulled me aside and said, Zach, I think you're settling.
	I think that you've...
	I think that, you know...
	This woman has kind of already played her hand in life, and she's kind of got a screwed up situation, and I think that he said it in a complimentary way.
	Maybe he didn't need to compliment.
	Maybe I wasn't deserving of any kind of complimentary way of putting it, but just said, you should really look elsewhere.
	There were a few.
	First of all, that's not really, you know, you might be settling, maybe you should look elsewhere, you know?
	No, it wasn't.
	It's like the movie Titanic.
	It's like there's a fucking iceberg right in front of you.
	People were saying, maybe a little left to the right.
	I don't want to be bossy, but you know.
	Yeah.
	No.
	Iceberg!
	Jump!
	Yeah.
	All right.
	So you don't want people like that in your life, or maybe you don't even know that they exist.
	They do exist.
	People who are going to sit down and keep you out of these kinds of situations, who are going to shock you out of sexual dazes and stupors, and who are going to remind you of the importance of empathy towards your future self, to your capacity to love, and to your future pride, your conscience.
	You know, the stuff that we do that harms other people, particularly kids, it really sticks with us, right?
	I mean, it stays with us.
	So, you don't have people like that in your life.
	In fact, you have a few who are kind of on the edge, but they don't know what it means to commit.
	You know, the most important thing in life fundamentally is commitment.
	I mean, it means the world to a comedian, joke's not going well, you fucking bear through and you commit to it and you finish it up, right?
	And when it comes to friends, friends are doing something wrong?
	Sit down and fucking grind them for hours if it takes, for days if it takes.
	You help them.
	And then in return, they will do that for you.
	So you only have a few people who are like, well, you know, maybe it's not the very best thing.
	And think of the kids.
	And, you know, maybe you're settling and so on.
	But there's not.
	It's a five-alarm fire here.
	This is not like maybe, you know, put the cigarette out.
	And when you're ready, maybe think about exiting the building.
	It's like, get out the building!
	The calls are coming from inside the house.
	Run!
	Right?
	You know, it's like you're in that fucking movie where the alien is laying eggs in your throat, right?
	And people are like, you know, you might want to shave around that thing.
	You know, just when you put your moisturizer on, it's going to be tough because it's got those webbed alien legs around your skull or whatever.
	You know, you might want to think about getting that looked at by a specialist if it's still there in six months, right?
	As opposed to fucking shoot this thing off me and try not to make me lose my nose at the same time, right?
	Yeah.
	So you have a few people that are kind of on the edge, but everyone else is like literally urging you into the blender.
	Urging you.
	You know, get over that trench and go into those German fire.
	Get into those German bullets, right?
	Literally urging you into disaster.
	Well, not most of my...
	My peers were kind of indifferent, but maybe they know not to...
	I think the two most significant people doing that were my mother and my sister and my aunt.
	So you maybe need to have a little conversation with your mom and your sister.
	And they're going to be like, well, you're a big adult.
	You make decisions and so on, right?
	They'll try and put it on you, right?
	Which is bullshit.
	If I'm just making my own decisions and you have no contribution or no effect on me, then what the fuck is a relationship about?
	Yeah, what is a friendship?
	Yeah.
	If I'm just going to do my own thing.
	And they were actively encouraging you towards this, right?
	Why?
	Well, the reason is because if you start questioning and opposing this woman, what else is going to happen?
	What dominoes are going into effect?
	You are being driven towards this woman by the women in your life, in your family.
	Who married for money.
	Because if you say, I reject this woman because she's pretty, or I reject this woman because she's only pretty, because she's a gold digger, what happens to your relationship with your mom who married for money?
	What happens to your relationship with your sister who's trying to trade up with the film industry, right?
	She wouldn't have bragging rights.
	She wouldn't be...
	It helps their status to be able to...
	No.
	No, I'm sorry.
	I mean, you're flying so far above it, you can't see the target, right?
	If you say, I reject...
	Everything is universal, right?
	Everything is universal.
	Everything is universal.
	If you say, I reject this woman as an irresponsible gold digger...
	going to be rejecting your mother at the same time.
	If she has characteristics-- And this is why I said, well, what do you mean you reject your father?
	To a small degree, you are your father or the grandfather.
	And if you say, I reject this woman for trying to social climb based on her looks, for trying to go for status, you are going to be rejecting your sister, right?
	They're driving you towards her in a sexual daze so that they don't have the searchlight of universal rejection turned upon them for the same reasons.
	So I have more than one succubi in my life.
	Well, the one you just dated is an effect of the prior ones, which you don't see, right?
	No, no, I don't see.
	Right?
	Why does status mean so much to you?
	Because of your history.
	Because of a lack of connection with your mom.
	Because of a lack of adult intimacy and love with your sister.
	Right?
	Women are supposed to protect men from other women, right?
	Good women are supposed to protect the men in their lives from bad women in the same way that men are supposed to protect the good women in their lives from bad men.
	Because we can see the men because we're not counted by sexual desire, right?
	Yeah.
	It's the same sex, assuming straightness, it's the same sex people in your life who need to protect women.
	The women in your life protect you from the predatory women in your life because their judgment is not clouded by sexual allure.
	In the same way, if there's some hot guy who's an asshole and your sister's falling for him, what are you going to say?
	He's an asshole, sis.
	Don't do it.
	I'm standing between you two if I have to because I don't think...
	My dick isn't pointing at him and clouding my judgment.
	Your vagina is.
	I'm stepping in the way.
	That's what same-sex people in your life are supposed to do.
	With whoever you're attracted to, they're not going to be.
	Like, even some other guys looking at this woman like, yeah, I can see that.
	Man, she's hot, right?
	Yeah, then short circuits them.
	Good for you, man, right?
	Good thing to keep in your spanking.
	Well, the more time I spend with her, the more time they spend with her.
	I mean, maybe the status bleeds over.
	Yeah, maybe she's got hot friends and whatever, right?
	So, but it's your mom and your sister and your female friends who are supposed to be like, whoa, buddy, let me tell you all about this woman and let me tell you where this is heading and let me tell you how disastrous this is going to be for you because I get it.
	I'm a woman.
	She's a woman.
	It doesn't mean we're the same, but it means I can look at her understanding where she's coming from without any cloud of sexual desire.
	And they did not do that.
	In fact, they did the opposite.
	They attempted to push you off.
	It was the opposite.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	There were multiple occasions.
	This is a really funny divide.
	This girl and I had been on the rocks ever since before I had left Bali.
	There were a few girls that I just talked to in a yoga class.
	It was platonic, but I talked to them about my situation and a few girlfriends over Facebook that I talked to about the situation.
	Almost universally, Every girl would say, you know, she sounds like she's the one.
	I think you just need to pick up the torch and get those kids.
	And almost every guy that I would talk to says, I don't know.
	If they didn't know her, if I was just talking about the situation, almost every guy might go, no, I don't.
	I don't know, Zach.
	Sounds like a little...
	Sounds like a can of worms.
	But it seems like most women that I talk to seem to romanticize the idea of me white knighting it and picking up the torch for these two stepchildren.
	What are most women looking for?
	A white knight.
	Oh, okay.
	Look, this is the...
	I mean, don't make me go at another woman right here.
	I'm almost there, right?
	Okay.
	But no, seriously, like...
	Okay.
	Why are women so opposed to saying, judge a woman by her qualities, not by her looks?
	Judge her by her virtues, not by the size of her cleavage, the height of her cheekbones, or the pertness of her ass, right?
	Judge her by her quality.
	Why are women so recoiling from that basic principle?
	Maybe because we don't, maybe because men don't, oh gosh, no.
	Because it's not...
	It's men's fault!
	That's what you're telling me, right?
	It's somehow not to be men's fault.
	Somehow.
	Well, because...
	No, no, no.
	Because that's the easiest way...
	It's the easiest way that they can land the white knight.
	A little spear and a white horse, like on your video, and like a chainmail.
	Just charge me off.
	I write to help the women, to help them avoid responsibility, because they are children, but still they're fun to bang.
	Right?
	No!
	It's not men's fault!
	Why do women resolutely in your life, and it's not just in your life, trust me, oppose the judging of women on the content of the character, not their physical attractiveness?
	Because they have very little character.
	And because it's easier to seduce a man.
	It's just the easiest trick in the bag to pull out.
	Which they did not earn.
	To seduce a man.
	Yeah.
	They did not earn the sex drives of men and they did not earn their figures.
	They did not earn their vaginas, right?
	No.
	And they don't have to work on it, really.
	Yeah.
	People want free shit from the government.
	Women want free shit from men.
	They don't want to work for the shit from the government and women don't want to work through the quality of their character for the stuff they get from men.
	They just want to be sexy.
	Which is fine, you know, when they're young, they can get away with it, and then they turn the corner, they get creaky, they get over the hill, and the trick doesn't work, right?
	Women are like guys born with a million dollars, and they lose 10% of that money every year after they turn 20, right?
	And so guys are like, hey, I'm rich, right?
	Yay!
	Look at this, everybody wants to be my friend, I'm rich, right?
	And then next year it's like, well, I'm still pretty rich.
	Well, 900,000 bucks, that's no small amount of scratch.
	That's some good money.
	Next year it's like, huh, fuck, what is that money?
	100,000 bucks?
	I could have sworn I left that.
	Let me check the couch and pockets, something like that.
	Leave that in the car?
	Let me go check, right?
	Next year, next year, next year.
	31.
	Zero dollars, right?
	Oh.
	And so they've not developed anything, any aspect of their character.
	Yeah, and it's like, what do you mean I have to get a job?
	I was rich!
	It's like, yes!
	And you squandered it, didn't you?
	You dated shitheads when you were beautiful, and now that you're old, you want some mangina to raise the spawn of shitheads for you!
	Yeah, they squandered their fertility on idiots, as you once said.
	Their beauty, their youth, their fertility, their sexual value, they squandered it on bullshit.
	Idiot guys, alpha guys, cute guys, hot guys, pretty guys, funny guys, sexy guys, high-status guys, the alpha players!
	You took your savage gold and you squandered it on shitheads with abs!
	Yeah.
	And then they get old, and they've got kids, and they're like, shit.
	Well, that was stupid now, wasn't it?
	Yeah.
	And then they turn to the state, and they turn to the courts, and they turn to alimony and child support, and God, give me money like I was pretty!
	I'm not pretty anymore, but I want money like I was!
	No!
	You blew it!
	You took your sexual pride, and you fucked idiots!
	And now you're out of sexual appeal, but you still want money, but you're ugly!
	So go to a politician!
	They'll smile at you and they'll give you that money with a gleam in their eye.
	As if you were still pretty.
	I feel like my tax money or our tax money is going to subsidize the women's unavailability.
	Because it's going to subsidize their lusts and their procreating based on lust, and it keeps them unavailable and out of the breeding pool for better guys.
	Well, yeah, but you weren't taxed, right?
	I mean, you were in a voluntary subsidy here, right?
	Oh, yes, yes.
	Oh, no, but I mean through social welfare and stuff like that.
	I mean my income taxes have gone to subsidize the encouragement of having kids with morons.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	And old guys with money, they want to pretend that women want to have sex with them because they're sexy, right?
	It's bullshit.
	They're rich, right?
	And so a man's sexual attractiveness continues to increase over life because it's fundamentally predicated on resource acquisition and maintenance, which men get more and more of throughout life.
	So men are born broke and they end up with $10 million.
	Women are born with $10 million and are broke by the time they're middle-aged in the sexual sphere, right?
	And this is why, so like women who are 35 or 40, particularly if they've got kids, right?
	The moment you add kids, it's 10 years plus for a woman, right?
	That's what it seems like, yeah.
	It's like they're 10 years further down the road.
	So a woman who's 35 with kids is like the single woman who's 45, right?
	And so the fact that your girlfriend was 30, 31, she's got two kids, then she's like she's 40 or 41, right?
	So she's passed her prime.
	And so these women, they can't get the millionaires that they want because the millionaires are going for the unencumbered 25-year-olds or 30-year-olds, right?
	Yeah.
	Right?
	So she's playing the best hand she can.
	She's got her looks, you know, which are obviously going to be fading relatively soon, right?
	Yeah.
	But she's got two kids and she's got crazy exes and she's got no job.
	Was she in debt?
	She would have been, I think, if it weren't for, you know, parental subsidies, I'm sure.
	Right.
	Okay.
	So she's just feeding off the parents, right?
	Yeah, a car paid for.
	And you, right?
	And some money from the exes and all that, right?
	But...
	So, yeah, I mean, look, this is frustrating to a lot of men, right?
	I mean, it's really frustrating, which is like, you try and ask the really attractive women out in your 20s, and you're a good guy, you're a smart guy, maybe you don't have the six-pack and the whatever, right?
	And they're like, no, no, I want to go out with Johnny Jack shit, who's sexy and alpha and completely unstable, and is basically going to use me as a fuck toy and throw me aside, right?
	Because he's hot, and he's high status for the other women, right?
	Look, I can get this really hot guy to have sex with me.
	Ooh, that's a challenge.
	Yeah.
	Look, I managed to get a woman to accept a diamond ring as a present even though she's not going to be engaged to me.
	Ooh, that's difficult too, right?
	But, yeah, so then they bang all of these guys in their 20s and then they get into their 30s and then they want to cash in for a big commitment and it's like, you're saggy, sister.
	Sorry.
	You're getting old.
	And then they have to settle for guys who are less quality even than the guys they were giving it away too free for in their 20s, right?
	Yeah.
	And you were going to be that guy.
	That's what she was, oh yeah, I'll have a kid with you.
	No fishing?
	Hey, she's a better fisherman than you.
	Except she uses a fucking harpoon called the state, right?
	Yeah.
	So I thought I was ratcheting myself up in terms of status, but I really look kind of like a fool to a more trained eye.
	Oh, I mean, everybody knows that this is a woman who's literally insane.
	Incredibly irresponsible.
	To have children with men that unstable is abusive.
	To have children with men that unstable is abusive.
	To have children with no means of paying for them is abusive.
	Well, her parents, she knew her parents would support them, but they were going to be raised...
	No!
	No!
	It's her fucking job to pay for her kids!
	She's not 12!
	Parents don't count!
	It's her job!
	I know she's got the money, but she doesn't have the money herself.
	And she doesn't have a man who's going to take care of her.
	And she doesn't have a job.
	She's a parasite.
	It's irresponsible and abusive to have children without any means to support them.
	Parents don't count.
	It's irresponsible and abusive for a parade of shallow vagina-seeking missiles called men to go through their children's lives, leaving massive emotional scars in their wake.
	This is a destructive and abusive mom, and you are high on screwing her.
	Yeah.
	Which, what the hell does that say about me?
	Well, it says that you got some reflection to do.
	It says that you have some empathy for child work to do.
	It tells me that you were not empathized with as a child.
	And it tells me that you need to have some conversations, particularly with the women in your life, about where the fuck were you watching my back?
	Oh, you're an adult.
	You can do what you want.
	So, why were you encouraging me?
	And also, if you have no input, what is it called a relationship for?
	Because you have to ask them, did you know that this was going to be a big problem?
	And if they say, yes, then you can say, well, why the hell were you encouraging me?
	Or at least, why didn't you try and stop me?
	And if they say no, then they say, so, I mean, even I in my sexual days saw the red flags.
	You saw no red flags with this woman?
	Crazy exes, guys parading through their life, suicide murder threats from the first, no job.
	You saw no red flags at all?
	Are you stupid?
	You can say this to other people, right?
	I mean, you were in a sexual days, you still saw the red flags, right?
	So if they're so retarded that they can't see any red flags, then what the fuck are they doing in your life?
	Like if they're that stupid, like let's have an IQ of 75 could probably figure this one out, right?
	Can you push a broom?
	This is a dangerous woman.
	Yeah, got it.
	Push the broom.
	After I figured out she was a dangerous woman, I figured out which end of the broom to push, right?
	So either they knew that she was dangerous but encouraged you towards her anyway, or she had no idea, despite six million red flags, that there was any danger whatsoever, in which case they have literally the wisdom of a sea sponge.
	And not a lie.
	Well, I was hiding the red flags.
	Like a fossilized one.
	Well, I was hiding the red flags.
	I didn't want to badmouth the woman that I was bringing down to visit the family.
	You are now riding to the fence of these women in your life.
	You have this white knight complex, man, which just means that you have no respect for the women in your life.
	You have no respect for your mom and you have no respect for your sister because every time I point out some responsibility on their part, you try and manufacture a situation wherein they're not to blame.
	Okay.
	Which you can do if you want and you just end up dating shitty women with their encouragement, right?
	Yeah.
	Did they not know the woman had children?
	Oh, they knew.
	Okay.
	Did they know that there were none of the fathers still in her life?
	No, they knew that.
	Did they know that she didn't have a job?
	Yeah, they knew.
	We could go on and on, but are you telling me that there were no red flags because you were hiding them all?
	Did they know she had other boyfriends?
	Did they know that she had flown back to Israel to be with the ex-dad?
	Did they know that the ex-dad was coming to live on her property?
	Yeah.
	My mom, when she was describing the flying back to Israel...
	It was just, well, you...
	My mom's retort when something like, well, you know, she's just giving you a tit for a tat.
	You took off.
	You know, you left her.
	She's a single mother of two.
	You left her in, you know, in Oregon in the winter for, you know, a month and a half.
	So it's your fault.
	She's just giving you a tit for a tat.
	Right.
	So you've internalized that anything that happens is your fault or the man's fault, which is typical female bullshit.
	We're not to blame.
	Oh, it's all men's fault, which is what is happening, right?
	When I said, why don't women want to be judged and judge other women by their character, you're like, well, it's because men do X, Y, and Z, right?
	So you've got this, you know, go watch Rio 2.
	It's a fucking mirror of your family, right?
	I mean, you've got this internalized thing that women are not responsible, that women have no need to protect the men in their life from predatory women, that anything bad that happens is the man's fault, not the woman's fault.
	She doesn't make choices.
	It's just tit for tat.
	Right?
	And let's say it was tit-for-tat.
	Is she not responsible for replying in kind?
	Right?
	Yeah.
	And if a woman hits a man and then a man hits a woman, do they say, well, it's just tit-for-tat?
	Bet you they don't.
	No.
	So, yeah, I think...
	I think that this was a symptom of...
	Childhood relationships or lack of relationships, right?
	Imprinting, you got from your dad and your granddad about how a man is supposed to act.
	You got from your mom and now from your sister how a woman is supposed to act and you're just playing out that bullshit because you won't give women the responsibility of...
	You won't give women the respect of responsibility.
	They are responsible for not protecting you from this woman.
	They are responsible for encouraging you into a relationship that was harmful to children.
	And harmful to you.
	Harmful to the woman.
	And harmful in particular to the woman's relationship with her eldest daughter and also to a smaller degree to her youngest daughter.
	They were encouraging you into this relationship that was so full of landmines that there was literally no place to step without losing a foot.
	They can claim that they had no idea, which is bullshit.
	Then you are literally hanging out with people who are completely mentally retarded, right?
	But no, you won't judge a woman by her character, because that's going to have a ripple effect on your relationships, particularly with your mom and your sister, and then, of course, with your father, who I chose.
	My mother would always nitpick, even from elementary school.
	She would want to ask, who do you have a crush on?
	What girls in the class?
	And I would say, and she would go, well, she's not really that cute.
	When she grows up, I don't think she's going to be that.
	It would constantly, all the way through, until high school, even the girls that I started dating.
	Hang on, she was basically saying judge women by their appearances alone when you were a kid.
	I think 100%.
	I don't think there was ever any...
	Now you get then, you get that this sexual response was programmed by your mother, right?
	Because then you hit the jackpot, right?
	Yeah.
	Go for the cue.
	Yes.
	Do you understand?
	She's saying look at the outside because I have no inside.
	Yeah, so she was short-circuiting me.
	Look at the kids because I have no heart.
	right?
	Yes.
	I paint the shell because there's nothing alive inside, right?
	Yes.
	It's the colorful Easter egg that must be hollowed out first, right?
	You don't keep...
	Once you've eaten the egg, you don't keep the shell, right?
	This is why it has to be so painted.
	Once it's eaten out from the inside, you keep it because it's well painted, right?
	This is what beauty does, and this is what beauty substitutes for.
	Physical beauty.
	So this was a direct manifestation of the vanity and shallowness of your mother and your father and as an adult of your sister.
	And that's what you need to confront within yourself to avoid a repetition of this.
	You did to her children, to your ex's children, what your mother did to you, which was to harm them for the sake of Selfishness.
	Your mother, by constantly pointing you at physical attractiveness, kept you from having the capacity to fall in love.
	We cannot fall in love with beauty.
	We cannot fall in love with beauty.
	We can fall in lust with beauty, but we cannot fall in love with beauty.
	We can fall in love only with virtue.
	By pointing you at beauty, your mother was saying, you will now never fall in love, because the moment you fall in love, you will realize you do not love me.
	I must shield you from the experience of love so that you never know the difference between love and your relationship with me.
	Let me point your penis at the shallowest shit in the world, because if you ever experience depth, you won't be able to stand me anymore.
	Tell me I'm wrong.
	It's just what I'm thinking.
	No, no.
	I was actually going to describe, you know...
	My relationship with my mom was being terribly superficial, and even my own sister was complaining about it.
	My mom doesn't have many friends.
	She has a few friends that she's known, but she just keeps everything on a superficial level with everyone.
	There's no intimacy.
	She'll never tell anyone how she's feeling or never let her guard down in any way.
	Maybe there's nothing to guard.
	Maybe it's just an empty vault.
	You open it, fucking cobwebs, a pair of old panties, and a yearbook.
	Yeah.
	Maybe there's no treasure in it at all.
	Yeah, it's funny.
	As I put it in a novel, the intense guarding of food long rotted.
	Yeah, because we always want to break into the hearts of distant parents like there's just some mad, deep, caramel-style treasure to be found.
	I don't think there is.
	I think the vault is there for the illusion of value.
	There's nothing in there.
	It's just the illusion of value.
	And beauty, of course, is the ultimate illusion of value.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's tough.
	Well, yeah, I've written off my father.
	I haven't spoken to my father in six years now.
	So now it's kind of like, ah.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Alright.
	So how do you get to write off your father, which your mother chose, or who your mother chose, without really having an important series of conversations with your mother?
	Because you are trained to protect women at the expense of yourself.
	This is the disposable mail, which you can Google and find, right?
	You serve the needs and interests of women at the expense of yourself.
	Yeah.
	And the best way to maintain shallow relationships is to program a man's penis to go for looks alone, right?
	Rather than virtue.
	Sorry, you were going to say.
	Oh, I mean, do you think that that is cultural or just universal?
	I mean, is that everywhere?
	I think it's pretty universal.
	I think that sort of the modern status slash feminist society has taken, you know, hypogamy and taken it to an insane degree.
	Right.
	I mean, because for a woman, trading up when she got older was pretty difficult, right?
	But it's, you know, with alimony, child support, and all that sort of shit, right?
	I mean, and Botox, and hair dyes, and, you know, other ways to maintain the illusion of use, dermabrasion, you know, all the crap, facelifts, and so on.
	You can keep that game going a lot longer, and you can accumulate a lot more resources than when you had, like, three teeth and gray hair in your 50s in the past, right?
	Yeah.
	You can get boob jobs, you can get tummy tucks, you can get ass lifts, you can get collagen in your lips.
	You can maintain that bullshit a lot longer.
	And so I think that...
	You know, men want to have sex with a lot of women in general, and that's sort of contained by marriage and turned to something really valuable.
	And yeah, women want to trade up and want to milk their sexuality for material value.
	There's nothing wrong with that.
	It's a biological imperative.
	But particularly in the West, I mean, that's gone cancerous.
	It's just gone completely out of proportion because it's not restrained by anything fundamental anymore.
	And partly that's because of people like you who are always willing to step in and support women.
	Who refuse to let women's lives, like, sorry, who refuse to let women who made bad choices, who refuse to let those bad choices stand as a signpost to others.
	Yeah, I believe, encourage her.
	Yeah, and through that encouragement, you are encouraging the next generation to pursue the same path.
	The daughter's looking and saying, well, shit, if I'm pretty...
	I can sleep with hot people.
	I can always have people take care of me.
	I don't have to look for a quality guy.
	I can just bang whoever I find attractive and other guys will rush in to pick up the pieces and support me and all that, right?
	Some sugar daddy will come, right?
	You're sort of training them, right?
	And whereas if the kids, if the daughters grow up and see that the mom had sex with idiots and then nobody wanted to date her, they won't repeat that mistake, right?
	But we won't let women stand, their bad choices stand as an example to others to not do, don't go this way, don't do this stuff.
	We're rushing to save them, which replicates, right, the next generation's mistakes.
	Well, I don't know. I don't know.
	Where do I go from here?
	I guess maybe I probably just shouldn't date for a while.
	Go talk to your mom.
	Go talk to your sister and say, how?
	Come on.
	Did you not see the warning signs?
	Why weren't you telling me?
	And really experience what it's like to bring up an objection and to try and place some responsibility on women.
	Go to your friends and say, dudes, like, I mean, come on.
	I was clearly in a sexual daze.
	Like, help me.
	Like, what's missing in our relationship that you couldn't, like, do you think that I would attack you?
	Like, why do you not feel comfortable really standing up?
	You know, play them this shit and say, look, this asshole in Canada did it.
	I mean, right?
	I didn't even know the guy.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	I mean, I didn't blow up and explode and blah-de-blah-de-blah, right?
	Sit down, talk with your parents, and try and figure out why you've got a social community around you that let this happen or put up mild objections or encouraged it, drove this horse off the cliff, full-tilt boogie, full throttle.
	Figure that shit out.
	You've got some time.
	You've got some leisure.
	I'd get to a therapist.
	You can look up men's rights.
	You can go to A Voice for Men.
	You need to get how you plug into...
	sexual matrix at the moment, right?
	Because you want to, I think, if you want to get married and have kids, which it sounds like you want to do, I mean, God, you've got to find ways to get quality people in your life, quality women in your life.
	Look, even if this woman never knew this story, you meet some quality woman and you never tell her this story, right now, in your current state of your relationship with your mom, a quality woman is going to say, ooh, really?
	I get to spend the next 30 years with this woman and the sister for the next 50?
	Ooh, right?
	Because when you're inviting a quality woman into your life, you're inviting her into all of your extended family, and she knows in particular if she has kids with you, right, your mom and your sister are going to be over a lot, right?
	Right?
	And if she finds them shallow and empty and you are fine with them, even if she likes you, she's going to be like, right?
	Women marry a clan, particularly of the other women.
	So if you don't have a deep and meaningful relationship with your mom and your sister, if you can't be honest with them, if they're not quality people who are out taking care of you, even if the woman thinks you're great, a smart woman will be like, no, I can't get into that clan because these people are going to be over all the time and they're going to be influencing my husband strongly.
	And if I'm kind of the opposite of them, they're going to wage a war against me and they're going to try and get me out.
	They tried to bring this fucking crazy bitch in.
	Yeah, oh yeah.
	What are they going to do with a woman of quality who's perceptive and wise and unafraid to call them on their bullshit?
	They're going to try and hit the eject button with both tits, right?
	Yeah.
	Well, I guess all four.
	So, yeah, I mean, I would say get to therapy, get to the manosphere, try and understand where you sit in terms of sexual politics and talk to your family about what happened and really try and get some understanding, like, how could you think this was a great woman?
	Help me to understand.
	Yeah, that's a great question.
	And mom, why were you pointing me at nothing but pretty?
	And mom, didn't you kind of marry dad for his money?
	Yeah.
	Right?
	Have those conversations.
	This is how you get to the truth of the family and you get to the freedom of the future.
	There's nothing, there's no blinders on like eyelids willfully closed, right?
	Yeah.
	Because you can open those, but if you choose not to close them, you might as well have had your eyes ripped out by vultures, right?
	But you openly and willingly and curiously go into family history.
	You can free yourself from that repetition which you're currently heading towards, right?
	If not with this woman, with some other woman like her.
	Oh yeah, terribly close.
	Does that help you sound like a plan?
	Yeah, yeah, it really does.
	Alright, I have homework.
	All right, man.
	Was it a useful convo?
	I know we went over a lot of ground, but...
	No, it was good.
	It was fantastic.
	And you get...
	I get out of real affection for you, real care and concern for your heart and for your future possibilities as a husband and father, if that's what you want.
	I hope that you know it really came out of a loving place, right, to try and give you...
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, no, thanks.
	I mean, that was my first...
	Yeah, my first...
	No, no, that was my request, was to, you know, slap me upside the head with the...
	Well, you took it like a man.
	Will you keep me posted?
	Let me know how it goes.
	Okay, yeah, I will.
	I'll get back to you.
	Please do.
	And thanks again for a great conversation.
	Okay, Steph.
	Talk to you soon.

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