All Episodes
Previous Next
Nov. 10, 2007 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
18:31
906 My Secret Life: A Confession

Coming out of the closet...

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Hi, this is Stefan Molyneux from Free Domain Radio.
It's not going to be easy.
I sort of wanted to Confess something, I guess, since this conversation is going so well.
240,000 podcast downloads last month.
I guess I'm becoming a vaguely, minorly public, and I figure that it's worth coming clean, I think, about certain aspects about my past.
I wrote something down.
So I wanted to read to you so that...
Well, you know, I guess.
So this is my confession, I suppose.
I guess the time has come to finally come out of the closet.
For the past 20 years, I've been...
I've been living a double life.
The strain of my deception has finally gotten to me and I wish to officially come clean.
I live a secret life as a black man.
I was brought up in a really racist community, and I bought into all the lies about, you know, white power and so on when I was young, before I began to educate myself.
My parents, siblings, and friends were all Klan members, and I was taking rallies in my early teens.
I did cheer, but I always felt uneasy.
About 20 years ago, I became fascinated by black history.
I read everything I could on the subject, and then in university, I joined a black power group.
They were hesitant to let me in, of course, since I basically make the Pillsbury Doughboy look like Marvin Gaye.
But I pointed out that anti-racism was the very core of their philosophy, and so to reject me because of my race became hypocritical.
I was pretty open about my racist past, and in time I was forgiven for my sins.
I secretly worked as a blacktivist for many years, mostly in the backrooms, of course, writing speeches and raising money, and eventually I felt that I really did fit in.
I also worked to move my newfound brothers and sisters towards a more libertarian position.
They were all socialists when I first joined, but also pacifists.
I helped them to see the contradiction in that position.
The government is force!
I repeat it over and over.
Slowly, winning converts to the ideal of pacifism in political as well as racial matters.
However, my secret life came to an end today, so I might as well come clean about it all.
Just this morning I was dragged into the office of Ronnie, the chapter leader, for a true dressing down.
What the hell is going on, Stefan?
he demanded. I've heard you're still hanging out with these racist bastards who raised you.
He threw some grainy black-and-white photos across his desk.
I picked them up and leafed through them.
There was me in a pie-eating contest with my family.
There was me playing horseshoes with my racist friends.
There was me with a big grin giving the thumbs up with my childhood companions.
I swallowed. I sort of knew it was going to come to this one day.
Yes, of course, I said.
I openly admit that.
His eyes narrowed.
Are they still Klan members?
Yes. Yes, perhaps.
Some of them might be.
I think. But I'm making some sort of progress in...
He held up his hands. I don't want to hear it, he said.
These people raised you as a racist.
And you broke away from all that and saw the light.
Great. I've always applauded that.
But what the hell are you still doing hanging out with these racists?
I shifted in my chair.
Well, I've been talking to them about being more open about race relations, being more comfortable with different types of people opening their minds and so on.
Oh yeah? he asked.
And what exactly have your fine words accomplished?
I paused. Well, um...
Over the years we've had some really interesting debates, which have resulted in...
What do you mean?
I stalled. Quit stalling.
Ronnie sighed. You've had these debates, year after year.
Have you changed anyone's mind?
Well, I think they're coming along in some ways.
It's always very hard to tell, of course.
Actually, it's not, said Ronnie abruptly, flicking a sheet of paper across his desk at me.
I picked it up and stared.
The names of my family and most of my friends were listed under the heading Renewed Clan Memberships.
Ronnie's eyes bored into me.
See, he said softly, it's not that hard to tell at all.
Steph, you've been with us for over twenty years.
You've been an emissary into your social group about the ideals we treasure.
We value peaceful racial relations.
We value non-violence.
And we value the equality of all the races.
You've been out there making the case for decades.
What is the net result of your efforts?
Your parents have renewed their clan membership.
your brothers and sisters have renewed their clan memberships your friends have renewed their clan memberships y y y y yes but i stammered my chief's reddening damn it is hard being white sometimes But, you have to understand, for them...
It's mostly a social club.
They don't really know what it's all about.
They don't actually participate in any...
I paused.
The word was just too hard to say.
Lynchings, my brother, murmured Ronnie.
That's the word you don't want to say.
Right, right, right, I stammered.
They really don't know what's going on, what it's all about.
Ronnie leaned forward. But, Stev, you've had over twenty years to tell them what the Klan is all about, right?
Yes, yes.
And I think I'm making progress.
You have to be patient about these things.
Have you been holding back your best arguments for the last twenty years?
Have you refrained from telling them that the Klan is dedicated to the murder of black people?
Have you refrained from telling them about the violence they're supporting with their Jews sanction and cheering?
I... I opened my mouth and then lowered my eyes.
Now I've told them all that.
And what has their response been?
Oh... They...
They sort of agree at an abstract level, but it never seems to really connect with their actual choices in real life.
I mean, I do try and help them make that connection, but it's like pushing string.
I can never get them to connect the value, which they sort of agree with, of anti-racism with their memberships in the Klan.
I can't get them to live what they believe.
Ronnie was silent for a long moment.
And you think that is their problem?
I blinked.
Yes, of course.
Isn't that what we're talking about?
No, Stefan, he said.
That is not what we're talking about.
We are not talking about your family's lack of integrity.
No? Then we're talking about your lack of integrity.
We're talking about your betrayal of your own highest values.
The little office seemed to tilt suddenly.
What do you mean?
Ronnie reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out a little white pamphlet.
Do you know what the Klan has to say about the uses of violence?
He opened it to a bookmarked page and read, The use of violence is entirely justified in the defense of the white race.
All minorities, and all who support them, may be legitimately aggressed against.
It is the duty of every white man to protect his nation and his race.
Using whatever means necessary to expel the corrupted races from his lands.
Yes, I said, yes, I remember that from when I was a kid.
I know it hasn't changed since.
Ronnie placed the pamphlet carefully on his desk.
You realize that your race will not protect you from the Klan.
They clearly say all minorities and all who support them.
If these people have their way, if your friends and family have their way, You and I will be hung on the same tree.
I felt a kind of dizziness then, a vertigo as if I were tipping over a deep chasm.
Ronnie continued, You have dedicated your life to fighting the violence of racial hatred.
You have renounced your own racist past.
You've written the most beautiful speeches defending racial harmony, tolerance, and pacifism.
You have raised money through peaceful means.
You have always counseled us to non-violence.
And you have swayed many people here, myself included, to seek non-violent solutions to our problems.
My very son was converted by you and is now running for office instead of taking to the streets.
Do you believe all that you have preached?
My throat was suddenly dry.
I do. I croaked.
And do you expect others to give up their racism?
Yes. Then why are you unwilling to give up your racists?
The question hit me like a hammer.
I... I think that you have been trying to change these people's minds for decades and have gotten precisely nowhere.
You have told them repeatedly that violence is immoral, and yet when they continue to advocate violence against your friends and you, you continue to spend time with them and laugh with them and joke with them and break bread with them.
You are destroying this movement.
You are destroying your values.
You are destroying any chance we have of success.
Why? Because you cannot ask people to take your values more seriously than you do yourself.
If non-violence is a value, then hanging out with people who advocate violence clearly communicates that you do not take your values seriously at all.
If a Jewish man enjoys hanging with Nazis who openly wish him dead, then he clearly doesn't take his Judaism seriously at all.
In fact, by continuing to hang with those who advocate his murder, It only expresses his own self-loathing, his own lack of respect for his values, and his own pathetic need to excuse those who wish him harm.
Ronnie paused, taking a deep breath.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
I sat back in my chair, my heart pounding.
So... What?
You're saying I have to give up all my friends and family for the sake of this ideology?
You want me to break off relations with everyone who just sort of disagrees with me?
That's just culty!
Ronnie stared at me, nodding slowly.
Do you believe that a woman should break off relations with the man who rapes her?
Yes, of course. And do you believe that the woman should break off relations with the man's family if they approve of his rape?
Yes. And should that woman also break off relations with any friend of hers who says that she should be raped in the future and is willing to pay people to rape her?
Yes. And if this woman joins a group dedicated to opposing rape in any form, should she remain friends with anyone who believes that all women should be raped and donates time, money and effort to bringing that about?
No. And if she makes the case to those around her that rape is wrong and they understand her perspective and her terrible experience and the rationality of her arguments, But still donate time and money to make sure she gets continually raped in the future should she remain friends with these people?
I swallow. No.
And does it matter if these people happen to be her parents or her siblings or friends that she has had for 20 years?
If she genuinely opposes rape, can she reasonably stay, quote, friends with people who not only approve of rape in the abstract, but devote considerable time and energy to supporting those who wish to rape her in the present?
No, no, no.
And what if?
What if? She actually is getting raped in the present.
Should she stay friends with those who stand around cheering while she is getting raped?
Good God, no!
That would be inhuman!
Ronnie suddenly leaned forward and pounded his fist on his desk.
So why are you doing it?
I sat back and gripped the armrests of my chair.
My dizziness was increasing.
It felt as if Ronnie's little office was spinning.
What are you saying? I asked, closing my eyes close to tears.
Stephen. You must either give up your values, or those who oppose them.
You must... Either give up non-violence or those who advocate violence.
You must not take philosophy seriously or stop pretending to be a philosopher.
There was a long pause.
I opened my mouth.
I had no idea what to say.
Mercifully, Ronnie's phone rang, startling us both.
Sorry, Steph, he said, reaching for the receiver, but I have to take this.
It's an interview about my son running for office.
I nodded, mightily relieved, and got up to go.
Just as I opened the door, though, it hit me, and I whirled around.
▲
Export Selection