Aug. 13, 2007 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
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| Hi, it's Stefan Molyneux from Free Domain Radio. | |
| I hope that you're doing well. I thought that it might be kind of interesting to do a bit of a biographical video. | |
| You don't really know that much about me, and I thought that now that we've spent so much quality time together that it might be worth Telling you a little bit about myself some anecdotes from my life some of the things that I've done that I hope will give you some sense of the fact that I'm a fairly credible philosopher and so I wanted to I Guess share a little bit of my my personal history with you so that we can connect at a more spiritual level so I'd like to sort of start with a story that's actually just happened to me quite recently. | |
| I was actually out on the Bay of Fundy with some friends, and I was sleeping because I like to nap. | |
| I'm a philosopher, so a lot of work is not the easiest thing in the world for me. | |
| So I was napping below decks. | |
| This huge storm came up, and my friends woke me up, and they were freaking out. | |
| They thought that we were going to die. | |
| And so, as a philosopher, of course, I knew what to do. | |
| I went up. Onto the deck. | |
| And I raised my hand and calmed the storm with my mind. | |
| And that was something that, I mean, obviously they were somewhat surprised, but they did find it to be rather impressive. | |
| And because I have this power, I thought that it would be worth sharing my ability, just so you get some sense of the credibility that I have. | |
| My ability to command The wind and the sky and the rain and storms as a whole with my mind, or actually I guess with my hand, but to some degree with my mind, I thought it would be an important thing for you to understand about my capacities. | |
| Now, when we sailed to where we were going, there was a whole bunch of people there, and they'd all sort of come to hear me talk about philosophy. | |
| And there were thousands and thousands of people there, and we ran out of food pretty quickly. | |
| We had subs, like subway subs, lined up on a table, and we ran out of them pretty quickly. | |
| So again, my friends came to me and said, Dude, we're so out of food, it's not even funny. | |
| And I said, well, don't worry, because I can manufacture food with my mind. | |
| And I told them to keep unwrapping, you know, that sort of half plastic paper that they have around the subs. | |
| I said, just keep unwrapping and handing out the subs and I will... | |
| I sit here. Actually, I can probably even continue preaching, but I may need to concentrate a bit. | |
| I will create new subs with my mind. | |
| Just get some orders that people want, like meatball subs or ham subs or vegetarian subs, because I'm pretty sure some of the followers were lactose intolerant, but I also do have the ability to create lactose-free cheese with my brain as well. | |
| So I did that, and we managed to feed all of these thousands and thousands of people with With just sort of my brain creating these subs, I also took drink waters. | |
| Diet Coke is a tough thing to create with your mind because the aspartame is a little tricky molecularly. | |
| But I was able to do it, of course, since I'm all-powerful. | |
| So we did that, and that was kind of cool. | |
| And again, people were pretty amazed and thought that that was some great stuff. | |
| Now, then what happened was we wanted to go back to the little boats that we'd come over on. | |
| Unfortunately, it broke its moorings, and it was sort of floating out to sea. | |
| And there was a really strong riptide, so we were sort of afraid to swim out. | |
| But I said to my friends, no biggie, I'll just walk out to the boat. | |
| And they said, but, dude, it's... | |
| Steep water. I said, no, no, but not for me, because I can walk on water. | |
| So, and again, I just wanted to sort of share these sort of abilities that I have so that you will accept that I have some credibility as a philosopher because of these, some call them miracles, I just call it, you know, cool stuff I can do. | |
| So I did. I strolled out to the boat, and a friend of mine, a good friend of mine, was coming up behind me, and he could walk on the water for a little bit, but then he sort of freaked out and fell in, right? | |
| So I'm not saying it's easy, and I'm also not saying that you should do it. | |
| And if you do try it and can't do it, then it's because you just don't believe strongly enough in your ability to walk on water, which I understand and I admit is tricky. | |
| So, then we got onto the boat, and we were heading back to where we came from, and there was a bridge with a tall on it, and none of us had any toonies, and it was a toonie tall. | |
| A toonie is like a two-dollar coin here in Canada, and so we were fishing, right? | |
| And I said, no biggie, so we don't have any toonies, just reel in a fish, and there'll be a toonie in the mouth of the fish. | |
| And so my friend, the same guy who'd fallen into the water because he lacked faith, he actually reeled in a fish and there was a toonie in the mouth and, of course, everyone was amazed. | |
| But, you know, I don't sort of take pride in this kind of stuff. | |
| It's just, I mean, I can just do it. | |
| And I guess maybe that makes me special, but I just think it's kind of neat stuff and, of course, it gets me a lot of friends. | |
| So we paid the toonie and we went on. | |
| And then we came to a fig tree, which in itself was kind of miraculous because it was Canada. | |
| And I wanted some figs because I need the fiber. | |
| Anyway, we'll get into that another time. | |
| But there was no figs on the tree, so I raised my hand again and I sort of withered the fig tree with my brain and with my hand, and so all the leaves fell off and so on. | |
| Because I really, really needed the fiber, and I was kind of cheesed that there was no... | |
| no fish. | |
| Sorry, no figs on the tree. | |
| And so then we went out with some fishermen who weren't having any luck catching any fish. | |
| There was this whole cod debacle off the east coast of Canada where the government was in control of the cod, and all the cod has been totally fished away. | |
| So these guys were going out and weren't finding any Any fish. | |
| And I said, well, hey, just cast your nets down one more time, because they were going to head home, and I guarantee you that they will be full of fish. | |
| So they cast their nets down, and what I did, with my mind again, was I assembled all the fish at the bottom of the sea. | |
| Actually, I had to create them, because there weren't any fish there. | |
| I didn't sort of assemble them, but actually fish is easier than aspartame. | |
| It's more biological, more natural. | |
| More wholesome. I guess more organic. | |
| And so I created all of these fish in the sea, and then they brought these nets up. | |
| Unfortunately, the boat almost sank because the nets were so heavy. | |
| One of the fishermen said, well, why couldn't you create these fish in the boat? | |
| And I said, That's not how it works. | |
| He believed me, so that was good. | |
| And then we went to a pub to have something to drink, but they were completely out of booze. | |
| All they had left was ice water. | |
| And so I said, well, just pour the ice water into a wine glass and we'll pretend that it's wine. | |
| And again, with my mind, I changed The water into wine, which was cool. | |
| I didn't make it too good a wine because that would seem to be showing off. | |
| I didn't make it like a Chateaubriand 72 or something. | |
| I made it not exactly vinegary, but it didn't have a very fine bouquet because I didn't want to be seen to be showing off, if that makes any sense. | |
| So we did that. | |
| Somebody came into the bar and said that my servant... | |
| I wasn't sure of the legal status. | |
| I think he might have been a slave, which again, a bit of an anachronism in Canada, but again, I'm just sort of telling you the truth of what I can do so that you will gain some understanding of how credible I am as a source of information and wisdom and truth and virtue and philosophy. | |
| He said, you know, my servant is really... | |
| Really sick and that's not good. | |
| And so I went over and it turned out the guy had AIDS. He was a servant of unholy flesh, lusty pursuits, and so I cured him. | |
| I sort of put my hand on his forehead and I drove the AIDS virus out of his body. | |
| At which point he said, maybe what you could do is cure AIDS as a whole, right? | |
| Because you obviously can cure human beings of illnesses, so perhaps what you can do is cure, like, just get rid of AIDS completely. | |
| And I said, that's not really how it works. | |
| So then, my friend, the guy who'd fallen into the water, said that his mother-in-law was sick, and he was of sort of two minds about it, but he guessed, you know, on the balance, he wanted her to be healed. | |
| So she had a great fever, and so we went to her place, and climbed the stairs, went into her bedroom, and I cured her of the fever by sort of touching her with my hand. | |
| And then, of course, word got around, all these people came by, and I'm sort of throwing the healing out left, right, and center, like a sort of fire hose on a hot day, and people are grabbing the healing, and I basically went through the town. | |
| And healed people in general, right? | |
| I just healed them by touching them, which, again, I'm not sort of trying to brag or anything. | |
| It's just kind of cool. And then there was a guy who was paralyzed from the neck down, came to me, and he actually just touched my T-shirt. | |
| I didn't even see him. | |
| And it's hard for someone in a wheelchair to creep up behind you, but he did creep up behind me. | |
| And he touched my t-shirt and then sprang up. | |
| And I wish I'd known about this when Christopher Reeve was so sick, right? | |
| Because then maybe I could have gone and healed him, but I think I missed that one. | |
| Two blind guys, I touched their eyes, and their optic nerves and eyes regenerated, and they were able to see, and there was no problem with their brain processing visual information, though it seems they had been blind from birth, but again, I can do that too. | |
| Aspartame is the tough one, everything else after that is relatively easy, so my ability to heal people of blindness is also something, again, not to brag, it's just a matter of establishing credibility, things for you to believe. | |
| Lots more healings I could go into. | |
| A guy's withered hand, I sort of made it grow back whole. | |
| I also don't have to be there, right? | |
| So, I was on my way to someone's house where there was a sick person, and I decided, you know, I just didn't... | |
| I was tired. I didn't want to sort of do the whole walk all the way there, so I didn't walk there. | |
| I just healed that person with my mind, so I don't even have to be there. | |
| I mean, that's, again, not showing off. | |
| I'm just telling you how it is so that you can Understand the credibility that I bring to the table as far as being a source of truth and valid and verified information. | |
| Another thing that I can do, and again, maybe you'll think this is a stretch, maybe you won't, but another thing that I can do is raise the debt. | |
| So, in this town that I was in, after we'd gone to On the sea voyage and the fishing and so on. | |
| The town that I was in, this guy had a daughter who just died. | |
| She was 12 years old. And he kept the body in his house. | |
| I mean, there's just no way to say it without sounding silly, but, you know, believe me when I tell you that I went to this guy's house and I raised his daughter from the dead. | |
| And not in a creepy kind of way, like I didn't spin her around the room or have her, you know, throw up or anything like that, and head didn't rotate all the way around, but I did... | |
| I did Razor from the Dead just by touching her. | |
| That's cool. I'm hoping to be an extra, or at least be a sort of occasional character on Grey's Anatomy or some other sort of medical show, because these guys seem to go through a whole lot of perambulations, cutting people open and diagnosing and so on, and then they get very upset when people die, so I'm hoping that they'll sort of let me come on. | |
| Raise the dead. So I did that. | |
| There was a widow's son in a town called Maine that I also raised from the dead. | |
| Another thing I can do is, like if there are a bunch of people who are possessed by demons, I can talk to those demons, because I speak ancient Aramaic, although it sounds to you just like English. | |
| That's just another thing I'm doing with my brain. | |
| But I can talk to these demons, and what I sort of regularly do is I'll sort of go to a place where there's a very large number of people who are possessed with demons, not scratching themselves or whatever, and I think Britney Spears may be one of them, but we'll get to that perhaps another time. | |
| And I will take those demons with my mind, I will draw those demons out of the people's bodies, and I will drive them into a herd of pigs, if there's one around, or maybe a flock of birds if there's not, or a flock of seagulls if we're in the 80s. | |
| Then what'll happen is those pigs will jump off a cliff, and the demons want this, right? | |
| So the demons say, put us into the pigs. | |
| So I take the demons with my mind. | |
| I force them out of the possessed bodies of the people. | |
| I put the demons with my mind into the bodies of the pigs, and then the demons run the pigs off a cliff, and I guess that's it for the demons. | |
| I'm not sure Why they'd want to do that, but I'm more than happy to facilitate it, because it means that at least, I mean, although the poor pigs get killed, at least it means that the demons are out of the people's bodies, right? | |
| So, that's another thing that I sort of manipulate the astral essence of demons with my mind, and they obey my commandments, and I command them to go into pigs and kill the pigs. | |
| And there's a couple more things. | |
| If you, you know, if you sort of bear with me, I can cure people who are demonically possessed, mute, blind, filled with AIDS or cancer, or occasionally leprosy, which is still a bit of an anachronism, but it's there nonetheless. | |
| What other things should I say to help build my resume as a credible source of information? | |
| My mother was a virgin. | |
| Still is, actually. Don't really know what happened there, but I am a product of a divine seed. | |
| I was born of a virgin. | |
| There's no hymen there now, because I wasn't c-sectioned. | |
| I came out through the Holy Channel, but I was born of a virgin. | |
| What else should I talk about? | |
| Oh yeah, I died three days ago. | |
| I died three... Jeez, you'd think I'd remember that. | |
| I died three days ago, and I'm back from the dead. | |
| And I'm back from the dead to tell you that it's pretty neat that I can not just resurrect other people, but I can die myself and come back from the dead. | |
| Oh, jeez. | |
| Son of God. I am the son of God. | |
| I came back from the dead. Son of God, cure people, heal people. | |
| Oh, that's right! Right after this video, I'm going to bodily ascend to heaven to sit at God's right hand, and you have to pray to me and give my followers money from now until the end of time. | |
| There's definitely some of you who are alive now who are sort of watching this video. | |
| Hi! Hi, Mom! And you will still be alive when I come back once more. | |
| I'm showing you this video now so that you can understand that I did, in fact, die and have come back from the dead. | |
| And again, I shouldn't have any doubt about that. | |
| If you were in the room, you'd really get it, right? | |
| Or you could see, ew, maggots. | |
| So, yeah, so I'm back from the dead, and I'm going to tell you that I'm going to go sort of ascend up to heaven. | |
| And, um... Sit at God's right hand, judge human beings for all eternity. | |
| Nobody before I was born and died and came back from the dead, as I'm doing now, could be saved, right? | |
| They're all going to hell or to limbo. | |
| Sorry, Socrates, Democritus, Gaius, Caesar. | |
| Sorry about all that, but, you know, we had scheduling and all of the millions of people who lived and died before I came around are going to go and burn in hell for eternity because Dad's a loving God. | |
| But I'm going to bodily ascend, go to heaven, I'm going to judge you, and what you need to do is telepathically try to communicate with me to save you from a sin which we won't even get into, that some Aston and sister of yours did, which you're wholly responsible for, and you don't... | |
| You should really cut the foreskin off your children's penises. | |
| It's not totally essential right now, but it's pretty much a good thing. | |
| Slavery is good. | |
| Rape is good. | |
| Killing the enemies of cities that you inhabit are good. | |
| Atheists are bad. You should kill them. | |
| What else? Oh yeah, if you really need to, you can sell your daughters into sexual slavery if you need a little extra coin. | |
| All of these other things, sort of moral rules, and of course the moral rules that I'm putting forward should be entirely accepted by you. | |
| I think now I've done my part in terms of providing proof. | |
| About what it is that I'm capable of, that clearly I'm a little bit beyond the ordinary, and therefore you should take with as much seriousness, seriously, you should take with as much seriousness my moral commandments as you do my claims, or claims, these are actual proofs because I've told you I'm divine and can't lie, so you should take with the same seriousness my moral propositions as you do my propositions about the things that I'm able to do. | |
| So I hope that that clears up any misunderstanding. | |
| There will be some of you who won't die before I come back from heaven and assume my rightful place on earth as a lordly dominion of all that exists and so on. | |
| However, those of you watching this video in 2,000 years will still notice that I haven't quite come back. | |
| So... We're working on it. | |
| I hope that this clears everything up. |
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