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May 30, 2007 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
21:57
777 Children in Crisis

A listener who must act *now*!

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Good afternoon everybody. It is May the 30th, 2007, Wednesday afternoon.
Steph and I are heading out to run an errand and we thought that we would do and ask a therapist on our way.
So, Steph's driving and I'm navigating.
So the Ask a Therapist is going to be significantly interrupted by, left, right, go here, no!
Anyway, apparently something came in.
It's quite urgent, so we are going to respond to it.
And it's a sole topic issue, right?
Soul Topic issue.
All right.
So I'm going to read the email.
A friend of mine just called me.
She trusts me on issues like this, and while I feel I have some good insights, it's getting worse.
This woman has four kids now, but the main issue is the older two.
She is remarried.
The husband is only the father of the youngest two.
The oldest daughter is about eight, I think, and has been stealing things, mainly toys from classmates and stores.
She is about to be expelled by the school.
They said if she does it again, she will be expelled.
Meanwhile, the girl says that a voice inside her head is telling her it's okay to steal.
It is a male voice.
There is another voice, she says, but it's faint, and she can't make out what it is saying.
The girl was diagnosed with ADHD and put on some kind of drug, and then put on another kind of drug to counteract the effects of the first drug.
Completely wrong in my opinion.
But that's what her pediatrician has done.
She was recently sexually abused and I suspect she's been sexually abused before.
Her mother is also highly expressing with her sexuality.
Just for those who don't know what that term means.
She's hypersexual, meaning that she probably wears seductive clothing, that she talks using sexual language, that she might be, in her actions, in her movements, her behavior might be sexual in terms of touching and just being inappropriate.
You know when you're with someone who's sexually inappropriate, you can sense their behavior.
It's really quite uncomfortable.
Right, so it's like a Blanche Dubois crawling all over the mailman kind of thing.
Yes, yes. Yes, just adjusting the vents.
Alright, so when the little girl was being abused, her younger sister, now four years old, was sitting on a step nearby saying, nobody loves me, which indicates to me that she puts a lot of value on sexual interaction as an indication of love.
I suspect her biological father has something, has done something, but I have no conclusive evidence.
I suggested her to look into therapy perhaps and maybe that her, the mother, go through the therapy to learn how she can help her kids instead of putting her kids under the microscope with therapists, psychiatrists and all that stuff.
I don't think the mother has fully taken my advice into consideration in the past and things have grown even more out of control.
It's possible my advice was not so good either.
It was basically to spend more time talking to her children.
Getting to know them, doing things with them in a positive way, and so on.
I could really use some professional or well-thought opinion on this.
Two little girls and possibly the other two as well.
Their lives depend on it. Wow, oh wow.
Absolutely. Well, there's more than I can talk about, right?
So that's why I wanted you to chime in.
But he gave some more, or she or she gave some more details.
Yeah, the writer has added, has given us an addendum.
The friend hasn't called me yet.
I hope she will.
I guess I can add a bit more.
What I observed was that her mother would often talk about her problems with people while the daughter was present.
So the friend would talk about her problems while her children were present.
That's what I understand from that statement.
She would say to me or others, as I imagine, things like, she sometimes refuses to take her medication.
I strongly discourage this behavior.
Her mother was often sexually explicit, as I mentioned above.
I discourage this behavior as well.
Her mother was with a man for seven years.
She began seeing him when she was a teenager.
He is the father of the four-year-old, but none of the other kids.
I think it's the four-year-old.
Hang on just one second. He's the father of the four-year-old, but none of the other kids.
At that time, there were only the two eldest kids.
He would certainly favor the four-year-old from what I saw, and as I understand it, the four-year-old had the four-year-old sleep with him every night.
That's his four-year-old, right?
Yes, the father's four-year-old.
So there are three other kids.
We'll get to the end, and then we'll go through the genealogy.
Yeah. He still has partial custody, and I have no way of knowing what goes on.
The mother has told him not to sleep with the four-year-old, but she can't say if he has ever abused her either.
They fought a great amount when they were together.
Some of the kids' behavior, especially the 7-year-old, is sexually explicit.
I've seen her caressing her privates, fully clothed, while company was over.
This could be normal, but she has a relentless desire to get close to and hang from every man I've seen her interact with.
Although the last time she was at my place, she was more interested in playing my video games, which may be a good sign.
From what I understand, the mother was sexually abused as a child as well, though I'm not certain I'm taking a bit of a risk posting this here.
Not because she would be mad if she found out, but because her sister, someone else, would be.
But nevertheless, I have a great deal of concern for these children.
Thanks again. What a horrible situation.
Yeah, there are no good signs here.
Like the video game is not a good sign.
There are no good signs here.
There are no good signs here.
So basically, you said the genealogy.
Yeah, it's just there's a lot of information packed in there, so if you could just revisit it rather than me guessing, make sure I've got it framed right in my mind.
Yes. There are four children.
The female friend, who is the mother of the four children, had a relationship with someone for seven years who is the father of the four-year-old.
There is also a father of a seven-year-old, and I suspect that there are two younger children, younger than four, who are the children of the current husband.
Right, so there's, and we'll just, maybe they were common law, but we'll say, so there's an ex-husband responsible for one.
For the seven-year-old.
For the seven-year-old. There's another ex-husband responsible for the four-year-old, and then there are two children with the current husband.
Yes. Is that right? Okay.
Yes, that's sort of what I understand.
So four children. And are they all girls?
I don't know. It doesn't say what the other two are.
It just says that these, the four-year-old and the seven-year-old are girls.
Right. And it's the seven-year-old that is expressing some unusual behaviors, although the four-year-old is probably as well.
The four-year-old we know has been subjected to something unusual.
The seven-year-old as well.
Right. And there was a...
So there's confirmation on the four-year-old being the victim of sexual abuse.
And there was another kid who's saying, nobody loves me because...
That's the four-year-old. That's the four-year-old.
Yes. Oh, okay. Okay, sorry.
While the seven-year-old was being abused.
Now, I'm not sure what he means by being abused.
Sexually abused? Physically abused?
I think he means sexually abused because the girl who's four is saying, nobody loves me because she's conflating the sexual abuse with affection.
Yes. The four-year-old was sitting on a nearby step saying, nobody loves me, which indicates she puts a lot of value on sexual interaction as an indication of love.
whose biological father was sleeping with her in the same bed.
Right.
Which, you know, may or may not be innocent.
At the age of four, you know, a female child should not be sleeping in the same bed as a male parent.
No, really, or a female parent.
Or a female parent. No, or a female parent for sure.
Not appropriate in the least.
Mother is hypersexual.
We know that. The writer has indicated that.
Explicitly sexual. He or she, the writer, I don't know if it's a man or a woman, has basically said to the mother, don't do this, don't behave this way.
But the mother continues to do so.
The mother was also sexually abused.
That's the theory? Yeah.
And there seems to be every indication?
I mean, it would be shocking to me if she hadn't been.
Was it a theory or did he say that the mother was sexually abused?
I don't think that he had confirmation.
From what I understand, the mother was sexually abused as a child as well.
So, not confirmation, but...
And the mom knows that the seven-year-old was sexually abused and she's still sending the kids over, right?
Well, we don't know. Sending the kids over, I don't know who abused her.
He's got half custody? No, the four-year-old.
The four-year-old sleeps with the father.
Right, right. But was it the father who abused the seven-year-old or somebody else?
No. She was recently sexually abused, but it doesn't say who abused her, the seven-year-old.
Right, okay. But there is an indication, of course, that if there's sexual abuse in the household, I mean, this is a wide net, but if there's sexual abuse in the household and...
The male is sleeping with a four-year-old girl.
That's not good odds.
No. Right? I mean, you wouldn't put a whole lot of money on the fact that she wasn't being attacked in some way.
No, I wouldn't at all.
This is a hypersexual household.
This is a mother with no boundaries.
This is a rape household. Yeah.
I mean, this is a rape household.
This is a household founded on the etymology of rape.
Yeah, yeah. And this is a mother who doesn't know boundaries herself.
So, you know, her lack of boundaries is an invitation for predators to take advantage of her as well as her children.
Yeah, I mean, she is actively inflicting a lack of boundaries on others.
It's not like she doesn't have boundaries like she lost her keys.
She's actively inflicting a lack of boundaries on others.
Yeah, yeah. This, you know, you said that the child, the 7-year-old child, or the writer has said that the 7-year-old child has been diagnosed with ADHD and on some medication, and then the pediatrician put her on some other medication to counter the effects of the first drug, and, you know, I'm not going to comment on the medication issues.
I don't know if there is ADHD. I don't know if there's, you know, behavioral acting out because of severe abuse.
That would be my guess, but nonetheless...
I don't hear any mention here of the children being in therapy.
I think the writer has suggested to the mother to take her kids into therapy, and there has been resistance.
He suggested that she go to therapy, the mother.
Right. Either way, therapy all around for everybody is absolutely essential.
The fact is, a seven-year-old child was sexually abused.
That child needs to be in therapy.
That family needs to be in therapy.
There is absolutely no other way to handle this.
There needs to be serious intervention in this family.
I never like to go this far, but when circumstances...
Require it. It's something that needs to be done.
You know, Children's Services needs to get involved with this family.
Now, I'm not saying the children should be taken away from the mother.
I don't have enough information.
I think that Children's Services needs to be involved.
A full assessment needs to be done in this family.
These children are at risk for repeated abuse.
And something, something needs to be done immediately.
These children are at risk.
You know, the mother for sure has her own problems, but she's not able to look after her children in a way that they are going to be safe.
Quite conversely, she's actively putting them in danger, in repeated situations of danger, where almost without a doubt they are experiencing some pretty negative consequences.
Right. I don't know how much information has been shared with the pediatrician about the child's abuse or about the children's abuse.
The pediatrician should have called children's services at the first, first sign of any kind of physical, sexual, emotional abuse or neglect.
Often with these cases, information is withheld.
There isn't enough information that is handed over to the authorities.
The first contact is usually the family doctor or the pediatrician.
So these families are very good at keeping that information from the people who would be able to make these kinds of decisions.
I don't know what this mother has done in that regard, whether she has shared that information with the family.
If you, as the friend, have this information, here in Canada, citizens are bound by law to report the abuse of children.
I don't know if this person is writing from Canada or the United States, but I suspect that the same law exists in the United States.
If you know that a child is being abused, You have a duty.
You have a duty to that child to protect that child.
To call Children's Aid or Children's Services or whatever it's called in the United States and get that child the intervention that is absolutely necessary.
I can't tell you how emphatic and adamant I feel about this.
This is essential.
Absolutely essential. You know, if you think that these children are at risk and are being abused, you have to call children's services.
You have a duty to these kids.
You do not have an alliance with the mother.
Yeah, saying that the mom should go into therapy.
And look, I mean, I think we want to be positive about what this guy is doing.
Like, he's posting to somebody who, like you in particular, right, who has knowledge and experience to help.
And that's great. I mean, like, good for you.
That's fantastic. That's a really wonderful thing.
On the other hand, though, saying that I'm going to try and deal with this issue by suggesting the mom go into therapy is like saying if you're watching a child getting mauled by a lion, I think that we should try and work to train the lion to be less aggressive.
Like, there's no time.
There's no time. No, there's no time.
There's an imminent risk here. An imminent risk.
And these children need to be protected.
These children absolutely need to be protected.
She's not capable because she's damaged.
She's damaged herself. She hasn't dealt with her own issues.
And she probably has a lot of fear around that.
And she's acting it out in all kinds of ways in her own life.
But it is affecting her children.
And yes, we can have sympathy for the abuse that she suffered, but not for the abuse that she's allowing her children.
Well, again, I would be more proactive in my verbs.
I mean, she's not allowing it to happen.
I mean, she's bringing these guys in.
She's seducing these guys, bringing them in and handing over her children.
This is not passive.
This is not passive.
She is actively throwing her children into a lion's den.
So it's not letting it happen.
She's actively bringing these guys in, exposing her children, handing over her children, and then not acting to protect them.
Does that make sense? I think that people kind of skid a little bit away from, this is impossible without the mom.
Yeah. This is impossible without the parents.
If the parents didn't behave in these ways, the children wouldn't be in this kind of jeopardy.
Right. I mean, if the mom didn't invite these guys in, or at the first instance of any kind of problem, straight, right?
Yes. The mom immediately pressed charges, then this would never happen, right?
So this is a woman who is actively inviting these predators in, blindfolding her children, tying their hands behind their backs, and throwing them in to get eaten.
The guys, of course, are fully responsible, but the necessary cause of this is the mom's proactive actions, not letting it happen, but making it happen.
It's heinous.
It's absolutely heinous.
This family needs intervention.
Right. Now, of course, there will be anti-statists in the audience who will say, but that's involving the state and the state can't do anything good.
But that's all we've got. That's all we've got.
We've got to work with what we've got.
That's all we've got. And, you know, even in the state organizations, there are people who genuinely care about children, genuinely care about children.
And these children have no one advocating for them.
Quite the contrary. I mean, everybody is just binding them, marinating them, and serving them up to predators.
You know, with the exception of our very brave friend here who sent this email in.
You know, these children need help.
If you're the only one who is aware of this, if you're the only one who sees this, by all means, please, you know, talk to...
Call Children's Services anonymously.
Say, this is what I suspect.
Find out whether there is something reportable here.
Do what you can.
I think if he has knowledge, he has to save knowledge.
I don't think anonymously it's going to help.
Because if these people are very good at keeping secrets, and clearly they are, then they'll pull the wool over children's aid, or they at least won't give...
Like, they'll just terrorize their children.
You say anything. Right.
They just won't get enough to act on.
I'm sorry. A lot of times what you can do is if you don't think you have enough information to report a case, you can call the children's services here in Canada and say, this is what I know.
Is this reportable? And they will tell you.
And then you have a decision to make about whether or not you want to go ahead and report it.
In most cases, you do the right thing.
I don't think you have a decision to make. I don't think you have a decision to make.
Well, I don't think you have a decision to make.
You're absolutely right. You have to report it.
Some people choose not to.
Sure, but then they're co-abusers, right?
Then they're enablers, right? And then the blood of the children is on their hands as well.
And the guy knows this, right?
He's not emailing some pedophile association saying, what should I do?
In which case they'd be saying, hey, can you give me the name of these kids?
He knows our stance on the protection of children.
He knows our stance on ethics.
So he's contacting us.
So that we give him the ammunition he needs to do what needs to be done, what is absolutely essential to be done.
There's no choice in this. This is not a maybe later.
This is like, listen to this podcast, make the phone call.
Open the white pages, open the blue pages, get the number, make the phone call, and don't let it go.
If you get someone who doesn't listen, phone somebody else.
Get someone else who doesn't listen, phone someone else.
Can't get any information, tape a recording.
Do whatever you need to do.
Whatever you need to do, hidden camera, I don't care, wear a webcam on your forehead covered with a rooster's...
Toupee. Yeah, covered with a toupee, right?
Whatever you need to do, right, now that you know about this, whatever you need to do to get the children whatever level of protection they can get, and even if that protection is not perfect, then it won't because it's the state, at least they will see that society as a whole is doing something, even if it's not the perfect thing.
This is absolutely stone evil, completely unacceptable, immoral, to the nth degree satanic behavior, and that swift and powerful and decisive action needs to be taken to protect these children.
This is not a maybe. This is not a later.
This is not a hamina hamina. This is do it now.
I agree completely.
That's all that we need to say on this matter.
Now, the one last thing that I'll say, because there's always one more thing to say, is, look, what are you doing around these people?
I mean, look, it's good that you can help these kids for sure, but what are you doing with these kinds of people in your life?
This is a question that we pose over and over and over and over again.
You know, this isn't something new.
Why are you associated with people who are so dysfunctional?
And it would speak to some vulnerabilities within your own character.
Everybody thinks that everybody else needs to go to therapy.
Right? Except me.
No, I mean, I've been.
But everybody thinks that everyone else needs to go to therapy.
And yeah, of course, this woman could benefit from therapy.
But the odds of her going to therapy and that therapy being successful are like zero.
There's no possibility that this woman can go to therapy...
And become a whole and decent human being.
She's already served her children up to sexual abuse.
You don't get to walk away from that.
You don't get to recover from that.
You don't get to be a good, nice person after you've done that repeatedly for years, for inflicting that on helpless children, inviting these predators in, binding your children up, throwing them.
You don't get to be a good person after that.
There are some lines which you don't come back from.
So she's never going to go to therapy, and if she does, she's never going to succeed at therapy.
You, on the other hand, are much healthier.
You're at least asking how this can be fixed.
Instead of focusing on how the mom should go to therapy and the kids should go to therapy, I would absolutely act to protect these children to the best of your ability, which means exhaustively, because you're in, you opened your eyes, you're asking, this is what you've got to do.
Stop at nothing if it takes six months, if it takes a year.
You're the only guy who can act.
And you got involved in this situation by being in these people's lives and learning what you learned, so now you have to act, in my opinion.
But you could benefit from therapy.
The mom? Last case.
Hopeless. I mean, Christina won't say that, and I could be wrong, but that's my strong opinion.
You know, evil has...
Virtue has an expiry date, right?
And by expiry, I mean it ages and it dies.
Virtue has an expiry date, and vice takes over.
And you can't do anything worse than subject children to sexual abuse.
I think. I mean, maybe a murder.
I don't know. But you just can't, right?
So if this has gone on for years, you don't get to be a decent, good, happy person ever again.
That's never going to happen because you can't undo it.
There's no restitution that is conceivably possible for that.
So she's beyond hope.
The family's beyond hope. The parents are beyond hope.
The children, if you don't act, are certainly going to be beyond hope.
But you, my friend, are not.
And so I would suggest that you've got to get yourself into therapy to figure out why you're lurking around with this satanic crew.
Excellent point. Excellent point.
I mean, there's no more to say. We've talked about this subject before.
And when you're surrounded by people who are that dysfunctional, look inward.
Ask yourself why. And then get yourself some help.
Thank you so much. I hope that this helps.
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