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May 15, 2007 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
54:46
759 Board Attacks Part 4: Conclusions

A podcast by not-so-nice Stef

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Time Text
Alright, people.
It's Steph. One o'clock.
You know, that's a good question.
Let's double-check, shall we?
The 15th of May, 2007.
And this is not going to be a podcast by Gentle Steph.
So, if you don't like not-so-gentle Steph, then I think that it's probably time to not listen to this.
So, forewarned is forearmed, because I am...
Out of patience with this board stuff.
And I'll tell you why.
And you can tell me.
If you listen to this, great.
If not, no problem.
There will be other nice, deaf podcasts coming along.
So let me tell you what the situation is.
So, as you know, a week ago, I quit my job to work on Freedom and Radio full-time, which is something that was well-known to board members and anybody who'd been listening for the past couple of months.
They're perfectly aware of it, right?
And they also knew that I was advertising to bring an enormous number of new listeners...
And we had 80 gigs of podcast downloads in one day in May, right?
So this is quite a few.
And I'm spending a lot of money on the advertising to bring people to Free Domain Radio.
And I have laid out close to $3,000 for a server, $2,500 for my own computer.
So I'm laying out cash left, right, and center.
And I'm going to sort of tell you what I think is going on, right?
I don't think it's entirely accidental that the moment that I go full-time, bored kerfuffle, trolls, back and forth, troublemaking, piss-ante-crap begins to show up on the Free Domain radio boards.
It's been really quiet.
We haven't had any particular issues other than a couple of minor kerfuffles.
We haven't had any particular issues for the past, I don't know, six months or so.
And then the moment that I go full-time, all the shit in the world hits the fan.
There's borderline personalities all over the place.
There's splitting. There's side-taking.
And now we have even more stuff, right?
So now we have even more of the people who have gone for a while or people who've been really problematic for a while.
Have all resurfaced and there is a concerted attack and there is, you know, okay, there's some people who are just sort of wandering back and forth talking about egalitarianism and equality and vaguely hurt and confused tones and there are people who are attacking me and people who are attacking other board members and I've had enough.
I've had enough. And let me tell you the bind that I'm in, which I am respecting my anger on this issue, because I think it's entirely just and fair, but you can certainly let me know if you think that it's not.
So, I've quit to do this full-time.
I've invested a lot of money in trying to get this philosophy out of the masses, and at the same time, people have just gone nuts.
Some. I don't think it's nuts, but let's just talk about it that way for a moment.
And why is this occurring now?
Why now? Why now?
Why now? Well, I think it's because of the introduction of a little thing called courage.
I mean, look, I think that...
I'm not going to praise myself for anything, but I think that it's quite courageous for me to quit a highly lucrative career...
And lay out tons of cash to spread the word.
So there's a fair amount of courage that's going on in this community.
And it's not just mine.
It's the courage of other people who've donated over the internet to a guy they don't even know.
That takes a lot of courage to ship me some funds to make me feel that it's possible to do this full-time, to be a full-time philosopher.
And sometimes full-time philosophers get a little angry.
So, there's been an introduction of a little something called courage.
Courage of board members.
Courage of myself. To fulfill this dream of expanding this conversation to really do something to help the world.
I mean, we're helping the world in a very personal way at the moment, but to do something even larger.
And I've taken a huge reduction in salary and thrown up my career.
My career. Which I have spent since about the age of 12, when I first got into computers, nurturing and developing and...
Now, I'm throwing it all that investment, throwing it away, and relying on the kindness of strangers, right?
So there's been a lot of courage, the courage of people to help me make this, the courage of me to make this step and to rely on donations rather than to charge for, which I think is important based on what it is that we're doing here.
And the moment that this occurs, pretty much the same week that this occurs, the sabotage begins.
The sabotage begins.
Why now? Let me tell you why.
Because I'm raising the bar.
And not just me, but other people are raising the bar.
In terms of being strong, in terms of being decisive, in terms of being confrontational when necessary, in terms of speaking the truth despite imitation, the bar is being raised.
Now, my decision to quit, which was heavily influenced by the steady pace of donations over the past six or eight months, and thank you everyone so, so much for giving me my dream, and I hope that I can do right by you and honor the investments that you've made into what it is that we're doing here.
I can do my best to make all of that happen and make all of that a wonderful thing.
But let me tell you what the challenge is for me.
So, I got, you know, lots of problems with people siding with Niels and people siding with me and emails and distractions and it's a hell of a lot of work to keep all of this crap in line.
It's a hell of a lot of work.
And I was talking about it with Christina this morning.
And I was saying, you know, this is really pissing me off.
I'm really sick and tired of this. And she said, but this is what you do.
This is the show. This is Free Domain Radio.
And I said, but I want to get on to these other topics.
I want to finish the mythology series.
I want to talk about the nature of aesthetics.
I want to talk about the definition of beauty.
I want to do all of these other things and move on with it.
And she said, but there is no moving on from this.
This is philosophy in action.
This is reparenting of a certain kind.
And I couldn't help but concede.
But I was saying to her, I said, you know, here's the frustrating thing.
I've invested all this money, all this energy, and I've tried to draw a lot of people into free-domain radio.
I've tried to draw a lot of people into free-domain radio.
Now, I've had all these technical problems, which mean the landing pages are taking a while to get done, and deal with all of those.
That's nobody's fault or concern or interest but mine.
But having laid out a fairly large amount of money to bring people to the free domain radio server and to have the right server in place for that to occur, they're going to come by and they're going to see claims which are on the very front page, some reviews and claims that I make about having a very important and powerful philosophy and so on.
And then they're going to say, well, gee, I don't know, those are pretty outlandish claims.
Those are pretty outlandish claims.
What... I said, I'm going to go check out the board.
Let me go and have a look at the board and see what's going on.
Let me see what kind of community this is.
Let me see what kind of philosophical movement this is.
And what do people see when they come to the board?
Sniping, get the fuck off my thread, infighting, pissy behavior of one kind or another.
What's that costing this conversation?
What is that costing this conversation?
To have all of this piss-anty bullshit behavior going on, on the boards.
And this is not a general.
I'm not painting with a wide brush here.
There are very specific individuals who, the moment that I decided to quit, when they knew I was investing a huge amount in bringing people into the conversation, shat all over the conversation.
I'm really clear on that, that it's kind of like a bind.
It's kind of like a bind.
I want to bring more people to this conversation.
I'm going full-time. I've gone full-time.
I am full-time. I need to bring more people.
I want to bring more people to this conversation.
So I'm saying to people, hey, come over to my pool.
It's the best pool ever.
It's a great pool. Come to my swimming pool.
And they're really skeptical.
Why should this be any different from all the other crappy swimming pools out there?
Oh, no, no, no. This one's different.
This one's better. This philosophy is better.
This community is better. And so they walk up to the wire fence, look in, and they see three or four or five people pissing in the pool.
And some people standing going, well, it's not really piss, or, you know, the guy who's telling the people to stop pissing in the pool is the problem, or it's not egalitarian because you're treating the people pissing in the pool equally to the people who are trying to clean the pool, unequally to those people, and so on, right? What do they see?
A bitter, infiling, squalling bullshit mess.
This is not accidental, right?
This is not accidental.
The courage of myself and others, and the majority of others, right?
I'm not picking on the majority here.
The majority of you people are wonderful.
Why is this occurring now?
Well, to screw up the conversation, to prevent the conversation from expanding.
When you do something noble and courageous, yea, you bringeth out The borderlines.
Yea, you bringeth out those who hate positivity, who hate courage and virtue.
And there are those in the market anarchist tradition and in the market anarchist philosophy who are like that.
Now I've got this putty-tat character coming out making creepy insinuations about cultishness and freaky, bizarro world crap.
I got a guy, Andrew, when I specifically banned Niels, taking a private email that Niels posted to me with all these convoluted arguments and justifications and here's this thread and here's that thread and here's what I did and here's my video and do this and do that.
I got a guy taking that private email when I banned Niels and posting it on Niels' behalf.
Why? So that I can say, please don't post from somebody that I've banned.
That's the whole point of banning someone.
And then he can say, oh, or what, are you going to ban me too?
Right?
And it calls in the whole shit fest to start all over again.
Right?
So it's, and I knew this was going to be a big monster mess.
That's why I didn't deal with it until I was on it full time.
And I've been patient and I've been tried to, you know, I've tried to be polite, right?
I said to Neils, wrote him an email and said, please take a break from posting on the boards.
I really suggest that you go and get some therapy about your anger management issues, your anger issues.
Please stop posting on the boards.
Guy continued to post on the boards.
Guy continued to post on the boards.
Didn't respond to my email. Didn't respond to my wishes.
Didn't respect my property.
Didn't respect what it is that I wanted.
So then I posted that letter on the boards.
Because I thought maybe he's not checking his email.
Continued to post. Continued to post.
Gave me a stupid goddamn picture of an owl going, Oh really?
Right, so this guy doesn't want to talk to me.
I give him my clear wishes about my property.
Respect my property. Respect my server.
Respect what it is I'm trying to do here.
And stop posting for a while.
Until you get some help with your anger.
No response. No response from the guy.
Continues. I say, please stop pissing in the pool.
Please, stop pissing in the pool.
No response. No response.
No response. No response. Continues to piss in the pool.
Then when I ban him, gets a friend of his to post at so-so high school.
Junior high. God damn it.
Fucking grade school. And everybody and their dog is freaking out about all of this sort of nonsense.
Like, we haven't talked about getting abusive people out of your life.
Like, did you all think that that was just made-up stuff?
Did you all think I was just sort of talking for the sake of talking?
Do you think that it was actually something real that we were trying to achieve?
Or did you think it was just a bunch of, hey, you know, Steph's got some time to kill in his car.
Hang on one second. So let me help people through my thinking with regards to this.
So there's no self-inflicted, or there's a little opportunity for self-inflicted confusion.
That's possible. Because the self-inflicted confusion...
About, gee, this is supposed to be a public space.
This is egalitarian. This is this.
This is that. We're supposed to treat each other as equals.
Blah, blah, blah. Steph has all the power.
Oh, he's going to ban people. He's a tyrant.
He's a dictator.
He doesn't take his own philosophy seriously.
You all might be paralyzed in the face of abusive people.
I am not. This is not a problem.
There are bad people in the world who will say mean things, who will tell people to get the fuck off their threads, who will be problematic, who will specifically defy the wishes of the board administration and the owner of the website, and post stuff from a band member causing problems, saying Steph isn't responding to this.
I don't owe anybody a response, and neither do you.
Right? If you're abusive, and I pointed out, and you don't stop, let me just sort of make this clear for people.
And if you have different rules for your own life, that's fine.
Then put together a philosophy podcast and justify this.
But this is my rules.
And I think that they're objective rules.
And I'm more than willing to hear arguments to the contrary.
If you come onto the boards and you abuse someone, that doesn't mean getting angry, doesn't mean disagreeing, get all that crap out of your head, try and look at this thing clearly.
If you come onto the boards and you abuse someone, tell them to F off or creepy or insinuating or undermine them or whatever.
Passive-aggressive is clear to me.
As someone posted, like, I can see deep into people's souls with five minutes of dream material.
Passive aggression is not obscure to me.
If you come onto the boards and you abuse someone, I will say, please stop abusing them.
Please don't abuse. And then if you are a reasonable and mature and decent human being, you will say the following.
Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
That was totally uncalled for.
I need to kind of figure out what prompted that in me.
Because nothing gives me the right to abuse someone.
Nothing! Particularly on a board.
Abuse is never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever okay.
And I'm sick and tired of playing bad daddy of people pointing their fingers at each other.
Well, he started it.
I don't care.
That's not what we're here for.
That's not what we're about.
We're about self-ownership.
Taking responsibility for your actions.
We're about self-ownership and taking responsibility for your actions.
If you tell someone to fuck off, be a man, be a woman, be an adult, own up to it, and apologize.
It's not that complicated.
It's really, really not that complicated.
If you are hostile, negative, abusive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, hypercritical, and you fire the first shot, you abuse, you're to blame.
You're at fault. Spreading the fault among other people who provoked you?
Totally childish.
Actually, that's an insult to children.
If you abuse someone, and somebody says, could be me, could be somebody else, doesn't really matter, and somebody says, don't be abusive, and you and somebody says, don't be abusive, and you don't know what's going on, you're totally bewildered.
talk to that person individually.
Not complicated people.
don't harden and self-justify your position and blame the other person and cause all this crap because I don't have time or inclination to continue to deal with this stuff if somebody says don't be abusive and you have no idea what they're talking about take the conversation private Y'all have each other's emails.
Everybody and their dog has a Skype.
Yahoo, MSN, whatever you need to do, work it out.
But hardening into, well, you started it, and it wasn't my fault, and you've been negative for months, and ugh, right?
Publicly, causing all this flame shit.
You know where that's going to go.
You know where that's going to go.
And if you want to leave the conversation, be a man, be an adult, and say, I'm going to leave this conversation.
This board does not work for me.
I'm not happy with it.
It's not productive for me.
I think... And you don't need any parting shots.
You really don't. I mean, I know that there's that temptation to storm off in a hissy-pissy fit and say, well, I'm storming off because you people are all assholes.
Steph's hypocrite. You're negative.
If you don't like the party, if you don't like someone you're dating, just say, it's not for me.
You don't even have to say it. You don't have to show up to say goodbye.
We're not even dating.
You don't have to do any of that stuff.
If the conversation isn't working for you, you can't resolve it, then leave.
Nobody's forcing you to come and use this server.
Nobody's forcing you. Nobody.
But don't come and bring all your pissy family bullshit into a philosophical discussion.
If you're not willing to get help, if you're not willing to go and get therapy, if you're not willing to deal with it in a mature and adult manner, then get lost.
We have to defude to let more jerks back into the conversation.
And if you have such negative self-esteem that you feel the need to have people attack you and ban you and make you feel self-righteous and hurt and angry and upset, and if you need all that drama, then go set up dramafest.com and have yourself a party.
But keep it out of my space, because this is a space for rational philosophy, for genuine self-awareness, for true understanding.
For empathy, for compassion, for consideration, for curiosity, for intellectual exploration, for science, for philosophy, for rationality.
So take all the tortured childhood crap that you're inflicting on others elsewhere.
And don't imagine for a moment that you loom very large in my mind, and that it is a great deal of problems for me to ban you.
Don't think for a moment that I give you one warning, I give you two warnings, I give you three warnings, and then I'm tortured about banning you.
Don't for a moment. Don't for a moment think that I can't see through mealy-mouthed, self-justifying, hidden attack, quote, apologies.
I keep telling everyone to follow their gut.
You know the truth. And if it doesn't feel like an apology to me, and I'm pretty good at recognizing apologies, and I'm pretty good at apologizing, I think.
If it doesn't feel like an apology to me, and if I can see passive-aggressive manipulative crap in it, I don't have time.
I don't have time.
I don't have inclination.
And I know when people can be helped and when people cannot be helped, my friends.
And when you won't give up a crappy bullshit position, and you attack others and manipulate, and you get passive-aggressive, And you don't respond to my emails and then you get self-righteous when I no longer respond to your emails, despite the fact that I've always said, always said, openly and clearly, people say there's no rules.
750 podcasts, people.
There are rules. I deal with people the best I can, the best I know how, the first time I deal with them.
After that, I deal with them as they deal with me.
If I make a clear request, a polite request for you to stop using my server until you get some help, And you don't respond to it and keep using my server.
Don't get upset when I don't respond to your email after I ban you.
Right? You didn't respond to mine.
So you've clearly said what you want.
You don't want a dialogue. When I say to you what you need to do is to apologize to the person that you abused.
Apologize to the person that you abused.
That's pretty simple. Don't make videos, post them somewhere on YouTube about how you were provoked, but sort of maybe a little wrong.
You just apologize to the person that you abused.
This is not brain surgery.
If I tell you to fuck off and someone says, hey, that was kind of abusive, I need to apologize to you.
I don't need to make up all the, well, I guess I can, but it's bullshit.
Make up all these tortured rationalizations about how...
The other person provoked me and I should have maybe overreacted a little bit, but they were behaving in a really vile manner and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Nobody has time to deal with your nonsense.
Well, maybe people do.
I know I don't. Better things to do.
Life is short. So if you think there's going to be a big debate that's going to go on and on with me about this, there's not.
I've already weighed in with my podcasts.
I've already weighed in with my moral philosophy.
I've already weighed in with my integrity, with the courage and directness with which I try to pursue these conversations.
You don't get 50 chances to be rational with me.
You don't. Because I know, I know for a simple, clear fact that if you're not rational with me three times in a row, you ain't coming back.
You ain't turning around. I know that.
Because I'm not the first person that you've done this to.
You've got a trail of bodies behind you.
People you've manipulated and bullied.
I know that you're not going to be able to turn around and see all those bodies.
You won't even see me. If you've given yourself permission and you're over the age of 15, if you've given yourself permission to be abusive and to blame other people and get manipulative and get passive-aggressive and get tangential and give mealy-mouthed bullshit apologies, if you've done all of that, I know it's not about me.
I know it's just about you justifying the bad things that you've done in your life.
I barely even show up on that radar.
So you don't get 50 chances to be rational with me.
You get two or maybe three.
After that, I'm not sitting around waiting for a bus.
After three hours, I'm going to take a walk.
Because the best way to predict future behavior is relevant past behavior.
The best way...
There is no scientifically better way to predict future behavior than relevant past behavior.
If I want to know what you're going to do the next time I interact with you, all I need to do is look at how you interacted with me last time.
It is a clear...
Unambiguous, intensifying photocopy.
Because it generally tends to get worse or it tends to get better.
People's interactions don't stay stagnant.
You're either getting worse or you're getting better.
And if every time I interact with you, it gets worse, I know exactly how it's going to go.
And when you start explaining and apologizing after I pull the plug, I know it's just a maneuver.
I know it's just a maneuver.
And I know if I, oh, okay, well, I'll put the blame and come back on the board.
I know it's going to happen again.
In fact, I'm guaranteeing that it's going to happen again.
Because if you're abusive, don't apologize, manipulative, passive-aggressive, irrational, hostile, whatever, you won't listen to reason and you won't respect my requests, then yeah, I'm going to pull the plug on you, ask you three times, stop peeing in the pool, sorry, you've got to leave.
Because if I then turn around and say, oh, well, okay, you've sent me an email with 1,500 different references about how I may be incorrect.
Or I took one metaphor that you said and maybe took it too far.
And then I let you back in the board...
All I'm doing is guaranteeing a repetition.
I know that. I know that.
All I'm doing is guaranteeing a repetition.
I'm not going to be an enabler for irrational, destructive, or abusive behavior.
You get a couple of chances to explain yourself.
If you continue to act in a negative, hostile, or millimouth manner, you're gone.
And you don't show up that intensely for me.
I have a few friends.
I have a wonderful wife.
I have a great life. Some anonymous person...
Out there in cyberspace, you don't show up that intensely for me.
At all. Of course, I care about what happens, but I have no control over what happens.
I put forward the standards, which I think are objective and rational.
And if people choose not to respect those, I can't control their behavior.
I can't control your behavior.
I am completely and perfectly helpless when it comes to what you're going to do with the information you're presented.
Maybe you'll try and rise above your history.
Maybe you'll realize that you have some problems.
Maybe you'll realize that there's a higher road to take, a better road to take, a road that could change your life.
Maybe you'll recognize that.
Maybe you will. Maybe 20 years of studying philosophy, 3 years of therapy, 2 years of therapy, a wife who's a psychologist, countless examples of psychological and moral and philosophical acumen on the board.
Maybe that means something to you.
Maybe that's enough to uproot these bitter trees you've got planted all over your soul.
Maybe. I can't control that, though.
I can't. Oh, and please, for heaven's sakes, just buy the buy.
Oh, you just don't know how ludicrous this looks, I guess.
If you're a determinist and get really angry at what I do, please know that that just looks like complete and total bullshit.
If you're a determinist and you call me a bad guy or you call someone else negative or you call someone...
Right? If you don't believe that human beings have choice and everything is played out in advance and everything is determined at an atomic level, my strong, weak, or quantum forces, who knows?
If you are a determinist and you say to me, Steph, you're wrong, you should change your mind, you're acting unjustly, you're incorrect, you're this, you're that, you should choose differently...
And you're a hardcore determinist?
Please. Come on.
Come on. I have an IQ a little bit above 80.
Maybe that works with weak people.
Maybe that works with people who look up to you as some sort of, I don't know, intellectual god?
Who knows? But it doesn't work with me.
It doesn't work with me. These things are all fated according to your philosophy.
There's no reason to fight them. No reason to get angry, for sure.
Certainly no reason to call anyone negative.
Negative implies choice. They could have chosen positivity.
They chose negativity. That's bad.
Oh wait, no, I'm a determinist.
That's just a by the by, but that's the funniest thing in the world, right?
Nobody gets pissed off like determinists.
Nobody gets self-righteous like determinists.
That is a constant I have seen.
Forever. Nobody loses their temper like a determinist.
Which means that it's a psychological defense.
Actually, it's more of a psychological attack.
It's a defense that's hardened into an attack.
We don't have to deal with that right now.
Right now, we can talk about that another time.
You know, it's not that complicated to figure out whether something's abusive or not.
I don't know if people have this massive confusion about this, or, well, Steph has his standards, and other people have their standards, and who knows, and who could tell?
Well, it's not that hard to figure out.
I'll give you a simple little trick, if you like.
simple little trick would you say it to a big aggressive guy would you right Okay.
Lots of people very brave in cyberspace.
Lots of people very brave in cyberspace.
Would you say it to somebody's face if they were big?
It could do you some damage.
I bet you wouldn't.
I bet you wouldn't.
So the psychology of all of this is interesting, but kind of unpleasantly pathological, and I don't know that we want to spend an enormous amount of time on this.
*laughs* But this comes out of an enormous self-hatred.
The people who are told when they're children that they're bad, and they believe it, and it's unbearable.
I mean, I get the unbearability of it.
I really do. I mean, I have a great deal of sympathy for what occurs for these people as children.
I really do. But I have sympathy for their suffering, and I have anger towards their abusers, which is why, when they transform their suffering into abuse, then I lose sympathy.
And they become, in my mind, as unpleasant as their parents were to them.
So, this is people who are told that they're bad, who are told that they're wrong, and who have had pretty bad experiences.
I mean, I think experiences which probably make mine look fairly tame.
They've been told that they've been bad, and they've been rejected, or beaten, or their parents have been hostile to them, and they won't admit it.
These are a bunch of people who say, oh, I've got no problems, and I have some confirmation of this in other areas.
They're people who say, oh, I have no problems.
But if you grow up with a parent who hates you, and rejects you, and scorns you, maybe hits you, maybe worse.
If you don't acknowledge the pain and go to therapy and deal with it, you just have to keep recreating that rejection.
You just have to keep recreating that objection.
The true self will not let you have stable relationships if you lie about your primary relationships.
If you lie to yourself about your foo, particularly if you put on a false front...
True self is like, okay, that's fine.
You can give the false self the controls?
No problem. But the controls aren't connected to any fins.
False self can fly the plane, true self just disconnects.
False self is just up there, right?
And keeps crashing, keeps crashing, keeps crashing.
Keeps getting angry, keeps thinking other people are sabotaging.
Oh my god, somebody cut my line!
Well, you did. The truth is always going to have to come out, right?
So if you get yourself into a situation where you keep getting rejected over and over and over again, it's about your family.
It's not about me. It's not about me.
I mean, I'm angry at the fact that people are harming this conversation because of their own falsehoods.
But I don't think it has anything to do with me.
I mean, it harms my interest and it harms the interest of what it is that we're trying to achieve here, which I think is some exquisitely good stuff.
I don't for a moment imagine that anyone is evaluating me independently.
And it's a flurry, right?
These things occur in a flurry.
Because somebody acts badly, doesn't apologize, escalates, doesn't listen to polite requests, continues to act in an abusive or destructive manner, won't apologize, overcomplicates.
So I ban them. And then what happens?
Oh my god, philosophy in action.
Oh my god, somebody's making a decision based on ethics.
Somebody's making a decision based on values.
Oh my god!
It's not about the podcast.
It's about decisions. I want to listen to the podcast.
I don't want to see them in action.
I want to mull ethics.
I want to discuss ethics.
I don't want to do ethics.
I don't want to be courageous.
I want to talk about courage.
I want to discuss courage.
Words, not deeds is the mantra of this pseudo-philosophy.
So when philosophy starts to come to life for people, when they see philosophy get out of the page, reach up and stretch around and gaze with beady, dedicated and very, very insightful eyes...
At the world around, this really makes some people panic.
It really makes some people panic.
If everyone's in a wheelchair and they've got their whole identity wrapped up in being in wheelchairs and one guy gets up, how do they feel?
Kind of hostile. Kind of hostile.
I don't want to see somebody get up.
I don't want to see philosophy in action.
They want to keep philosophy in the platonic realm of who cares.
And this is the funniest thing in the world, right?
I get emails. It's amazing.
I get emails from people who say, oh yeah, well this is great in theory, but how are we going to put this into practice?
Right? How are we going to put this philosophy into practice?
How? It's just talk, talk, talk.
We've got to do something.
Very same people will send me emails telling me that I shouldn't ban people.
Very same people! But we're not talking theory here, people.
We're not talking theory.
This is to be lived.
This is to be acted on. This is to be decided, embraced, And acted.
These values are not for a board.
A board is a training ground.
The board is a chat room.
The board is like me as a coach talking to you as an elite squad of footballers.
The board and the podcast are like me saying, Okay, Joe, you become this little square or this little circle.
You run around here. You do this.
You do that. And make sure your shoes are laced up.
And why do we do that?
So we can go out on the field and win.
Win life, not beat people.
Win life. Win. Be happy.
Be successful. Be positive.
Be productive. Be proud. Be secure.
Be strong. Be virtuous.
And everyone's up there going like, wow, that's great, you know, this play should work, this play's interesting.
I don't get this play. I don't get that play.
This one doesn't make any sense. Well, this seems to contradict that play, blah, blah, blah.
And then someone comes in after an hour or two and says, great, let's play some ball.
No. What? What?
No, no, no. Blackboard.
Blackboard only. Not even running up and down the steps that go up and down the stands.
Blackboard only. All we do is plot or plays.
We don't actually play. Well, no.
We play. We play.
And that means bruises, and that means impact, and that means learning, and that means falling down, and that means getting up, and falling down again.
That's been my experience anyway.
Maybe you're more solid.
But it absolutely astounds me the disconnect that people have between theory and practice.
I say I treat people the very best I can.
After that, I treat them as they treat me.
People who've listened to every single one of my podcasts then say, well, it's bad that you didn't respond to Neil's email.
Though it's been posted on the board, I'm perfectly clear that Neil's never responded to mine.
Do they think I'm just saying this stuff to hear myself talk?
When I say...
You go to the heart of someone.
You talk to them about what's really going on in order to find out whether they can handle the conversation.
And if they can't, you get them out of your life.
If you've got ambivalence about something, or if you want to give people the chance to have their say, fantastic.
Go and have that conversation, but don't have that conversation forever.
If people don't treat you well, if people don't listen, if people are manipulative, if people lie, if people twist things, then get them out of your life.
I did a podcast, I swear to God, eight months ago, that the way out of the cage is not by rattling the bars and trying to squeeze yourself through them, but to the fog in the middle.
Where the trap door is out.
But that's not an endless conversation.
You tell people what you want.
You tell people who've done you wrong or who are doing wrong.
You say, you're doing wrong.
This is why. This is what I need from you in order to continue the relationship.
If they provide it, wonderful.
Clap hands, have a drink.
Fantastic. And your respect for them can grow as it should.
If they don't listen, if they reject, if they scorn, if they mealy-mouth, if they half and half, if they...
then you get the person out of your life.
I mean, my God, people!
What do you think I've been talking about?
I've got my sights set on the state, on religion, and on the family.
Those are some pretty big targets.
I'm going in with a little pearl diver's knife and a loincloth to take on a megalodon.
Ancient, great white, 70 feet long.
I'm willing to do that.
I'm willing to give that a shot.
I'm willing to dedicate my life to ridding the world of these fantasies, these corrupting and destructive fantasies.
And do people think I'm going to have a big problem with someone I've never met from the Netherlands?
One guy? I mean, I'm taking on six billion lunatics.
Present company accepted.
Right? We're taking on God, country, and parents.
Pretty big prey.
They're abusive, they're destructive, they're false, hypocritical.
On what conceivable planet am I supposed to have these as my targets for the reasons outlined above and have a problem banning...
I want to get rid of the state and people have a problem with me banning an individual.
I mean, it just amazes me.
it blows my mind it blows my mind that's just wild I mean, you think about it, right?
I am genuinely, completely, and totally dedicated to expending every ounce of intellectual and emotional, psychological, rational energy that I have to the last ounce that I have to scrub the world of these fantasies, these destructive illusions, these self-justifying and hypocritical moral systems.
And no one has a problem with that.
At least few people do.
Yeah, you go, Steph.
You take on religion. You take on the priest, you take on the marines.
You go, Steph! What, you banned a board member?
Oh my god, that's terrible!
Oh, that's so awful!
That's unjust. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely we should take down six billion people's fantasies with regards to religion.
We should take on six billion hypocrites in the abstract, but we should not take on one.
In our midst. We should have standards that erase God from the sky, but you can't click on a ban on a board.
We should attempt to undo the mafia grip that family has on people's values.
We should come between a child and his mother.
We should come between... A child and his father.
A husband and his wife.
Boyfriend, girlfriend. We have come between all of these things where there is hypocrisy and illusion.
falsehood, manipulation, destructive behavior, abuse.
But we should excuse the philosophers who behave the same.
We should attack...
The priests who were brought up religious and who probably wouldn't know philosophy consciously if it fell on them.
Right? So we should have these standards for our parents who know relatively little.
Your parents probably aren't philosophers.
I know mine aren't. But we have standards of truth and integrity and virtue for them.
For them. But when a philosopher behaves irrationally, or somebody who claims knowledge of philosopher behaves in an irrational and destructive manner, we should throw our values out the window?
Because people don't complain about these values when I apply them to priests, politicians, gods, family, or at least not the same people who are complaining about this.
So we're supposed to have these big windy abstractions that are supposed to be applied to these big windy abstractions.
Truth, virtue, integrity, honesty, courage, self-esteem, compassion, curiosity, honesty.
We're supposed to have all of these, and they're supposed to be applied against what?
Religion in the abstract?
The state, whatever that is?
No, no, no.
They are supposed to be applied to the behavior of individuals.
When I say getting rid of the state, what I mean is not dealing with people who are abusive.
When I say getting rid of God, I mean not dealing with hypocritical falsehoods that are designed to manipulate, undermine, and destroy people's integrity, self-confidence, self-esteem.
I'm not talking about getting rid of the state.
I'm talking about getting rid of people.
Not in any violent way or anything like that, just not associating with people who display abusive behavior.
And we could say of politicians that they're being paid to be politicians, that they get enormous positive feedback, that they get...
What was it?
Strom Thurmond married every single Miss North Carolina, whatever the hell it was.
Getting pretty girls.
So they at least have some practical excuse for what they do.
Some practical excuse for what they do.
But a philosopher? A man who claims knowledge and wisdom and depth?
Who comes in and acts in an abusive manner?
Who should we be more angry at?
The person who knows and acts falsely or the person who doesn't know?
Or at least we don't know whether they know or not.
But a person who claims to know?
If you come to me and say, I have symptom X, Y, and Z, and I say, I don't know, go see a doctor.
I'm not a doctor. I'm not doing you that much harm.
But what if I say, no, I'm the best doctor ever.
I know exactly how to prescribe, and I prescribe you the wrong thing.
Am I not a little bit more to blame than somebody who doesn't know?
Am I a little bit more morally culpable when I claim knowledge, which then I reject when it's inconvenient to me?
When I claim wisdom, knowledge, truth, and virtue, and then when I act in an abusive manner, I project, I blame, I split...
I pseudo-apologize.
I manipulate. I get petty.
If you put yourself forward as a philosopher, your standards are even higher.
If you put yourself forward as somebody who has knowledge and wisdom, the standards that should be applied to your behavior are even higher.
The standards for healing are higher for a doctor than they are for some guy in the street who we hope will call a doctor.
If you put yourself forward as a wise and knowledgeable person, and then you act in a destructive and negative manner, this is the people we should apply these standards to first!
Not last, not later, not after we get rid of the state, not in some future dimension.
Not after God rolls over, vanishes.
But now, now!
So, if you still disagree with me, totally fine.
Then you have to do one or two things.
You have to find out how and where and why my actions are hypocritical.
And they also have to be far more hypocritical than the person who I have met.
Right? Because if hypocrisy is your issue and I'm like 1% hypocrisy, the other person is 50% hypocrisy, go deal with them 50 times, then come to me.
So, if I have said, well, you should get abusive people out of your life, unless they're actually in your life, no problem.
I'm a hypocrite. I should totally change my story.
I should admit false. I should apologize.
Blah, blah, blah. If you can say, well, you didn't warn this guy of the consequences of being abusive, right?
You never had a podcast that says get abusive people out of your life.
You never called this guy abusive.
You never gave him a chance to explain his side of the story.
You just sat and banned him. Fantastic.
Let me know. If I did not apply the home principles I've been talking with for the past 18 months, you let me know.
But if you're down with the principles and you react violently against the inaction of those principles, that's not my issue.
You just want to talk philosophy.
You don't want to live philosophy.
You don't want to be philosophical.
You don't want to be virtuous. You just want to talk virtue.
That's your issue. It's nothing to do with me.
I'm into the recipes to cook a meal, dammit.
I'm not into the recipes for the sake of the recipes.
I'm into virtue so I can act virtuously.
I'm into courage so I can be courageous.
I'm into integrity so I can act with integrity, not talk about integrity.
And if you don't agree with any of the values, that's fine.
Then you probably never got this far, right?
But if you agreed with the values and you like the podcast and you think that the values are good, then when I enact those values, I'm getting all futsy, negative, critical, hostile, bewildered, this and that.
Like, what do you think is going to happen?
Like somebody who orders the soldiers into a war zone and then is shocked that there's violence.
It's ridiculous. The values are designed to be acted upon.
That's what they're for!
And how much respect for me would you have if I talked all tough about how I don't let bad people around and I'm strong and I'm tough and blah blah blah which I haven't but let's say I did and then you come over to a dinner party and somebody tells one of my guests to fuck off because he's totally negative and I don't do anything about it Ew!
I mean, how ridiculous would that be?
What kind of respect would you have for me?
What kind of respect could I have for myself if I only talked about virtue?
If I only talked about strength or courage or integrity?
What kind of respect would I have for myself?
This is why I keep telling people philosophy is not for the squeamish.
Philosophy is not a game.
It's not words. It's not talk.
It's not debate. Those things are important components, but it's not those things.
It's about action.
It's about what you do, and it's about making sure that what you do is right and consistent and blah blah blah.
But philosophy is not thought.
If you have a theory about how gravity works, and you never write it down, And you never submit it to peer review, and you never communicate it to anyone, that's not science.
Even if your theory is right, that's not science.
If you never experiment, if you never publish, if you never compare it to reality, if you never act upon your thoughts, they're nothing.
Vague movements of atoms, that will die with you.
Like the pulsing of your liver.
Philosophy is not in what you say.
That's a start, for sure, in that a chef has to have some sense of ingredients and recipes.
But the purpose of a chef is not to sit there and study recipes back and forth and say, oh, this recipe looks good.
I wonder how that would taste. Well, that's very interesting.
What do you think of this recipe?
No. Go out and cook a goddamn meal, feed it to people, and see if they like it.
So, to those people who are shocked, shocked to the very cores of their souls, that I have dared to enact what I have talked about, to take actions based on the values that I have talked about, go start listening at Podcast Zero again, because I swear to God,
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