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March 14, 2007 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
33:47
683 My father the bird-wrangler - a dream analysis
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Hello everybody, it's time for a noontime walk.
It is the 14th of March 2007, and you know, it's been a little while since we've done a dream, so I thought that we would start with one from our good friend, as they're all known as, Bab. And this is interesting because I had posted something recently.
I'm just going to go with the name, I hope you don't mind.
Greg had posted something on the boards and his comment was that it feels sometimes like you're painting a masterpiece along a wall and you're using very fine brush and you're filling in all the details and it's all coming along beautifully.
And then what happens is you look up and you see that somebody is taking a big honk and roller full of white paint and just painting over the masterpiece as you're working left to right.
They're also working left to right But just one step to the right of you, you write and they erase.
And I pointed out, or at least hopefully not too indelicate a matter, but I pointed out and I said, well, you do realize that you're the guy with the roller, right?
I mean, when you're over 21 and you're free of your family and you come in contact with some wisdom and knowledge, as we all have had during this conversation, then I think it's only fair to say that Nobody can erase you but you.
Nobody can undo your life's work except you.
Nobody can put you down.
It's actually something that Mrs.
Eisenhower said.
Is it Mrs. Eisenhower? I think so.
Was it FDR's wife?
One of them anyway. She said, nobody can make you feel small without your consent.
And there's some truth in that, but I mean, it's all scar tissue in history.
It's not quite as simple as that.
But it's an interesting principle to work with, I think, to say that If I feel that my life and my work is being erased, and I'm over 21 and free of my parents, at least fiscally and legally, then it really does become hard to blame others.
And there is a tipping point, and the tipping point has more to do with knowledge than years.
But there is a tipping point wherein the victimization of the past becomes your responsibility in the present.
If you are Told that you will be killed unless you punch yourself in the face repeatedly for years, then at some point when the people who are threatening you are gone, it's important to stop punching yourself in the face.
Overly simplistic here, perhaps, but that's, I think, a worthwhile approach.
So I had mentioned to Greg that he's the guy holding the roller and that he is the gentleman who is erasing his own, because he said this is very depressing, this idea that your life's work gets erased as you work on it.
And the detail in the work which you put into constructing yourself, or as he puts it, come watch as my mind unfolds relative to his blog, if you feel that there's some external agent that is wiping out your value, wiping out your work, your integrity, the beauty that you're creating in your life, and you feel that that's depressing, then it's because you're externalizing that self-erasure, and this is a process that we all go through.
Which is we take a step forward and then we flinch back.
We take a step forward and then we flinch back.
And the flinch back is because it's painful to take that step forward because what it does is it begins to uncover all of the reasons that we didn't do it in the past.
And that is a very painful process to go through.
A very painful process to go through.
As we grow, we feel our cages as we grow, right?
We stay small so we don't touch the bars, and then we imagine that we're free.
As we grow into real freedom, we come up against these claustrophobic bars, this history.
We don't feel humiliation unless we try to feel pride, right?
So we stay small and self-erased because we want to avoid pain, right?
It's like growing is like placing your hands directly into an electrical socket while standing in a tub of water with tinfoil on your head.
I think I've just come up with a logo.
Anyway, we'll come back to that.
But we don't like to grow because growth is pain.
And growth is not pain because growth is innately pain.
Growth is pain in the way that a twisted limb is going to be painful when you go through rehab.
It's because we're broken that growth becomes pain.
And we're broken so that we don't grow.
Anyway, you know all of this sort of stuff.
So my purpose in replying in that manner to Greg's honest and heartfelt post was to make him angry.
And based on your responses, my friend, to the question about whether I would adopt or not, my personal preferences regarding adoption, I think that it's working.
I think that we can safely say that we're taking some significant steps forward in that direction.
And that's a good thing. And that's a good thing.
So, what I'm trying to do in that kind of response is I'm trying to internalize the self-destruction.
If you externalize and you feel that you're the victim of people who are erasing your life's work, then what happens is you feel helpless and depressed because other people have the power to erase you.
Other people have the power to undo your goals and your dreams and your values and your virtues and your creativity through rejection, through indifference, through whatever.
But what I want to do is to internalize that feeling.
The depression usually, in my humble opinion, results when we externalize our anger.
Then we feel helpless and depressed.
And it's natural that we should externalize our anger because that's all we're taught to do.
That's how we're crippled. One of the ways in which we're crippled when we're young.
So, as we've talked about before, the growth of mental health and wisdom for me has been the process of withdrawing my projections from the world, of not mistaking the world for myself.
or myself for the world differentiating between the two learning what is mine learning what is inflicted learning what is habitual learning what is virtuous differentiating between the pain that is inflicted upon me the pain that i inflict upon myself and the root out from that cage so if you feel that there are people outside of you who are thwarting you and destroying you and undermining you and causing you problems and so on and i'm extra extrapolating from what greg was talking about i'm aware of that then When I say to you that nobody is now hurting you but you,
it doesn't mean that you're masochistic.
It just means that, yes, I absolutely recognize that you were threatened with death unless you punched yourself in the face over and over when you were a child.
But when you start to or when you are through or complete the process of dissociating yourself from those who forced that terrible choice upon you, then...
You can't stop punching yourself.
In fact, you must. In fact, you must.
Once you have defood, there is no excuse for continuing the self-abuse.
So what happens is I try and push that projection inward because then it becomes something manageable.
What we project gives us relief but it becomes unmanageable.
If I say at my work, I have a jerk of a boss who causes me nothing but grief And that's why I'm unhappy and it's all my boss's fault and I have no responsibility in the matter.
And I don't mean in terms of whether I provoke or don't provoke my boss.
I mean like staying at the job or whatever.
When I externalize my problems, I gain relief because I don't own them anymore.
I'm not responsible for them anymore.
They just happen to me. They're like aging, you know?
You're not responsible for aging.
You're not responsible for taking care of yourself, but we're all going to die anyway, right?
So when you externalize something, You gain a temporary relief.
It's a drug. It's a hit. It's a high.
And you get to feel as all the scar tissue coalesces, the self-pity, the self-righteousness, and all this kind of...
Again, I'm not accusing anyone of this sort of pointing out.
I certainly have done this in my life and probably still do at times.
But when you withdraw those projections, when you say, The happiness of my life is my responsibility.
My happiness is my responsibility.
It's not my boss's responsibility.
It's not my neighbor's.
It's not my wife's. It's not the government's.
It's not the absence of a government.
It's not my family's. It's not the absence of my family.
None of these have anything to do fundamentally with my goal or desire of happiness in my life.
That the only person who's responsible for the happiness of my life is me.
Then what happens, what follows from that is great anger.
Usually. I mean, that's sort of been my experience in talking about it with people, in going through it myself.
What happens is anger, right?
Anger is the flip side of depression.
Like, boredom is rage spread thin, they say.
And depression is anger spread thin.
Or reversed. Placed on the wrong object.
That's horribly technical.
Pardon me. Anyway, so my goal was to make him angry.
Because anger, of course, is the opposite of depression.
Once you start to get really angry at the right and just objects, then your depression will lift because anger is empowering.
It floods your bodies with all the good hormones that propel you to fight or flight.
So anger is a very healthy thing.
And when you realize that you're self-erasing, when you realize that it's you that's doing it, then along with the control over that impulse comes the rage and the anger at where that impulse came from.
So let's have a look at a dream.
And I haven't read the stream till just now.
I think it fits, but I'm trying not to, you know, sound like it's, you know, Steph the All-Seeing.
I'm just sort of pointing out that this is what I think is going on.
Let me know if it's working or not.
Dream. Short one today, but fascinating because of the reversal.
I dreamt that myself and the whole family were all living back in the house I grew up in.
I had just arrived home from work, perhaps, or maybe school?
I'm not sure. Everyone was sitting in the living room waiting for something.
And when I had looked around the room, I could see that it was half painted, like the job had been started and then just abandoned.
I looked at my mother and demanded,''Where the hell is Dad?'' in an incredulous and loud voice.
She responded,''Oh, him, he's outside playing with the birds.'' Then got up and walked into the kitchen.
I went to the window, looked out, and sure enough, he had figured out some technique for using hand signals, claps and whistling noises.
To lure various birds to him, look them over, pet them, and then just let them go again.
He had a ridiculous, giddy look on his face, like a baby that has just figured out how to make raspberries.
Jam? Parting? We don't know.
Suddenly, I'm fuming mad, and I start yelling at him from the window.
What the hell are you doing out there, you imbecile?
The living room is half done, and you're playing with birds?
You jerk! You idiot!
And half a dozen other expletives.
Get in here and help me finish this.
He just looks back at me.
With the gawky smile of an annoying circus clown.
I think the annoying is redundant. Hearing myself say these things to my father, I pause.
I suddenly realize something is not right.
I look around the living room again, and I can see that everyone has gone, but I don't know where, and the lighting inside the living room has turned a dull dusk shade, while outside it's still a very bright mid-afternoon.
The second I start trying to puzzle out what's wrong with the picture, I wake up.
The night included two other dreams in which I found myself scolding my father for various things, and all in which my subconscious had depicted him as a kind of buffoon.
This struck me as significant, because until tonight, in all my dreams, including my father, I am the buffoon, and he is yelling at me for making some sort of mistake.
Now, tonight, he is the buffoon, and I am yelling at him.
Tangentially, why did my subconscious depict my father in his dream as a kind of Papageno?
That was just weird. But with regard to all three of tonight's dreams, why this sudden reversal of roles, my father the fool and me the scolding parent?
Well, I don't think it's insignificant that the first image that I attempted to provoke Greg with, that the first image was to do with painting and then a core image in this is with painting.
So Greg was saying that painting his masterpiece on the wall, that everything was just being erased and rolled over by his father or by, sorry, by somebody else.
And I said that that's somebody It's you.
And I would say that when you withdraw the projections of other people doing you harm, and as an adult, when you're sort of young, single, or whatever, over 21, then it is, you know, the hand that beats you is you.
It doesn't mean that it wasn't provoked.
It doesn't mean that we shouldn't have massive sympathy for what brought it about.
But at some point, that sympathy has to translate into, stop doing it to yourself.
Stop hurting yourself.
Stop hurting yourself. And I remember a dream I had many years ago in which a younger version of myself said to me, I hurt myself.
I hurt myself. It's continuing the abuse which forgives the parents that is the major motivation behind these kinds of self-denigrating behaviors or attitudes or approaches.
So you arrive home.
Everyone's sitting in the living room waiting for something.
You look around the room, just see it was half painted, like the job had been started, then just abandoned.
I looked at my mother and demanded, where the hell is Dad in an incredulous and loud voice?
So I'm saying that the hand holding the roller that is erasing his masterpiece is his own hand, that he is the guy with the roller.
He is erasing himself and then feeling depressed because he projects that energy out into the world.
And then here... What happens is...
And I know that that's going to make him angry.
I know that that's going to make him angry.
That's entirely appropriate and right because he's got a lot to be angry about.
And hopelessness is when you don't have contact with your anger.
Anger is energizing the fight or flight.
Hopelessness is when you no longer have contact with that anger because you have not internalized processes which are yours, right?
So... If we...
We can run away from an external threat and we can manage an internal threat.
But an internal threat that we project as an external threat, we can do nothing about and that makes us hopeless and depressed.
Fills us with despair and self-criticism.
So, you say, where the hell is Dad?
In an incredulous and loud voice, she responds, oh, he's outside playing with the birds.
Then got up and walked into the kitchen.
Now, the only one who then has a problem with your family is you.
The only one who's angry is you.
The only one who's angry is you.
Now, I don't want to get hyper-complicated, but I think it's well worth just mulling this point over.
That there's an enormous amount of rage in your family that nobody expresses, nobody makes conscious, nobody feels, nobody shows, nobody does, nobody talks about.
It's completely unconscious. And I think that you're the most sensitive emotional tuning fork within the family.
This is not often the case with Why we consider the most intelligent member of the family, or at least the most emotionally sensitive member of the family.
And this is, of course, why I say that your parents picked on you and had to denigrate you, because you picked up all of the emotional stuff.
You were more in touch with your feelings than anyone else in your family.
You picked up on all of the stuff.
Because when we project into others, they also project into us, right?
So what happened in your family, I'm guessing, and let me know what you think, is that you had sensitivity and you had vulnerability, which are great strengths.
Which are great strengths. And this provoked great anxiety in your parents and they then had to denigrate you and put you down as we talked about in the podcast the other day, yesterday I think.
And then all of that anger was placed into you and that's why you were put down and denigrated and so on.
And What this means, of course, is that your family gets to avoid their own anxiety about why it is that they would be upset with a sensitive and intelligent child.
Why? Well, of course, because in their own histories, sensitivity and intelligence had been met with exactly the same brutality that they dished out to you.
That's probably not too complicated a thing to understand, right?
That in your parents' own history, when they themselves had been sensitive, They had been attacked and mocked and scorned and so on.
And in order to avoid that pain, in order to avoid confronting the corruption and evil of their own parents, they end up doing exactly the same to you.
That's how we normalize and repeat abuse.
That's why we repeat abuse, to avoid the pain of growing and then feeling the cage and the electricity and the humiliation and the pain that kept us small.
And we stay small and then of course we have to keep others small and so on.
So you are looking at this half painted and half painted is good.
If it was almost fully painted, it would mean that you'd have a higher hill to climb.
So half-painted is good. And your family's just sort of sitting there, waiting for something.
And I think this is probably the case with your family right now.
Now that you have defood for a little while, you're beginning to see your family.
And of course, your family is waiting.
They're waiting for you to come back.
They're waiting. I mean, it's sad, but true, right?
They're waiting for you to come back, and they're waiting for something to come along to explain all of this sort of stuff.
I think that they're just waiting. And you're angry.
You're angry that the room is half painted.
And again, I would sort of suggest that that may have something to do with our earlier conversation about you painting the masterpiece, somebody else painting it over.
So you say, where the hell is dad?
Where the hell is dad? Because I'm guessing that your dad was supposed to paint the room.
But he only half painted it, and then he wandered off.
Now, it's interesting that You have these standards.
God knows our parents and so many people around the world just play dumb.
I was thinking of Michael, who used to come to our Sunday call-in shows and we had that long debate with.
And Michael just played dumb, right?
Oh, there's no such thing as violence.
You don't pay your taxes because you're threatened with violence.
Violence isn't the foundation of public schools, blah, blah, blah.
Just played dumb. And so many people play dumb, right?
When you come up with an insight that is important to you, that means something to you, a truth, a fact, a proposition, people just, but why is this important?
I don't even get what you're talking about.
Who knows what the hell you're talking about?
It doesn't make any sense to me.
It's not important, blah, blah, blah. They just play dumb.
Now, I think that, in general, we are sensible and rational enough, a group of individuals, that if somebody genuinely is dumb, like if somebody genuinely doesn't comprehend something because they don't have the intelligence, Then I don't think we're going to get angry at them, are we?
I don't think we're going to get angry at them.
If somebody is blind, we don't get angry at them for failing to catch a ball, we throw at them.
We don't confuse that with a lack of athletic ability.
They may be great at thumb wars.
So, you get angry at your father, Because you don't believe that your father is retarded, although his behavior in the dream is retarded.
I mean, you're not unjust enough that you would get angry should your father be genuinely retarded.
Father's supposed to paint the living room.
He doesn't. He wanders off to play with birds, and of course he's not doing anything with the birds, right?
He's just calling them, and I don't know what the association is with that.
Perhaps you can tell us more, but he's just calling the birds and Playing with them and then letting them go.
It's all sort of a big waste of time, right?
And not a very good use of somebody's abilities unless they are really retarded, right?
In which case you wouldn't be angry at them for wandering off from a job you'd given them to do because they have, you know, the intellect of a four-year-old or whatever and can't focus, can't concentrate and a little bit more prone to immediate gratification.
And I would certainly find playing with birds more fun than painting a room.
So... First and foremost, I think it's important to recognize that there's a couple of discontinuities.
You're the only one who's bothered.
Nobody else in the family is bothered.
And that's very much true about your family at the moment, that they're only bothered because you're bothered, right?
They have no idea, no idea whatsoever about what you'd be so angry about.
And that's why you get angry and you say to your mom, where the hell is dad?
And she's like, oh, he's outside. Oh, he's outside playing with birds.
It's no biggie. Don't mean nothing, no biggie.
And that you're fuming mad.
Ridiculous, giddy look on his face, like a baby that's just figured out how to make Mars breeze.
So he's clearly retarded at this instance, but you're very angry at him.
And why are you angry at him?
Because he's not really retarded.
He's just playing dumb. He's just playing dumb.
He's just playing dumb.
And I would suggest that when we get this insight about...
Our families, rage and liberation fall in a glorious giddy landslide of possibilities.
Maybe a geyser of possibilities.
When people don't understand us, either we're not making any sense, they're not intelligent enough to understand what we're saying, or they do understand but they pretend not to because it threatens them.
And they're attempting to squash us and lie to us by pretending incomprehension of that which we're talking about.
And we really only feel angry at the last one.
When people purposefully misinterpret what we're talking about to suit their own emotional preferences, their own pain avoidance mechanisms, but then claim that it's wisdom, right?
I mean, that's at least I know for myself, hearkening back to some of the more...
High impact debates we've had in this show.
I get angry when people put forward their own emotional defenses as objective truth and don't listen.
And I would certainly expect people to get angry at me should I do that.
Because it's destructive and other diminishing kind of behavior.
It diminishes the other human being that you're talking with.
So, in this situation, your dad has taken on a task and he's painted half the room.
If you'd have come home, if you'd had a dream like the following, it would be a very, very opposite kind of dream.
A dream where you say to your father, go and paint the living room, and he grins at you and starts eating the paint or drinking the paint.
I mean, that would be a quite different kind of dream because then it would be clear that your father is incapable of painting.
And then if you got angry, it would be because you had sort of frustrated rage issues or whatever.
But in this instance, the room is half painted, which means your father is perfectly capable of painting the room.
He's perfectly capable of painting the room because it's half painted.
It's not just paint spilled all over the floor and whatever, right?
He did paint and you don't mention anything bad about it.
He did paint half the room, which means he can paint.
So then when he goes off and pretends to be completely retarded and not have any idea what you're talking about, it's an act.
It's an act. And you know it's an act and that's why you're angry.
And you know it's an act and that's why you're angry.
So when you get really angry, you suddenly realize something is not right.
And this is, of course, the most important inside of all.
I think. I mean, again, this is just going with my gut here.
You could certainly correct me.
It's important to get angry at people who manipulate you by pretending to not understand what you're saying.
It's important to get angry at these people.
It really is. Because that's how you identify what's really going on.
But, my friend, it is also absolutely essential to realize that there's something fundamentally wrong with getting angry at people who are manipulating you and staying angry.
So this is your wise self.
This is your true self. He says, hey, you're being jerked around here.
A guy can perfectly well paint because he painted half the room.
Now he's just pretending to be retarded.
And you're angry at him and that's because you know that he's faking it.
But then, what happens is, I think, rationally, you understand that if somebody's willing to fake being retarded in order to shut you up, there's no...
I mean, you can stay angry at them, but they are no longer a conscious human being, or even remotely conscious to the point where you can have a debate about that.
Well, you can have a debate about that.
So I mean just as a minor instance as a woman I work with, I sent out a draft letter a couple of pages long that had its hypo in it and it was just going to our sales people for internal They always make edits so I don't go sweat crazy about letters at that point, double-checking everything.
But one of the salespeople got really mad and then she got really mad at me and pointed out that I should strive for quality and so on.
Now, the very day before, she had sent me a letter which had six or seven typos in it And I paused and I thought, well, is it worth bringing this up?
And it's like, no, I get what's going on.
Salesperson got mad at her. She's now getting mad at me.
That's the way things go when you don't have any responsibility, when you just sort of react, when you use other people like bandages to sop up your own psychic wounds.
And I thought, and I thought, hey, well, I could point out to this woman that if quality is such an issue, why is it that she's handing me stuff that's just junk, right?
Why are the salespeople who are just other employees like me Worthy of that much higher a set of standards than I am.
And of course, this hadn't been the first time.
And then I'd forgotten to send out some letter because it had been buried in six replies down in the email and nobody had pointed it out.
Although I did receive the email and this was my way of showing people that I don't always read to the bottom.
And so she sort of clucked and rolled her eyes at my forgetfulness and so on.
And of course, you know, the last week I remembered two things that she was supposed to do that she'd forgotten.
This is kind of stuff. So yeah, it's annoying, but when people are that primitive, there's nothing you can do.
It's not a question of intelligence.
She's very intelligent. But when people are that primitive that they just will do anything to win and will not make any correlations between their actions and standards that they're inflicting on others, when it's that chaotic and messy inside somebody's soul, when it's that uncontrolled, projected, and no self-knowledge is occurring, then...
There's nothing you can do. You can stay angry.
But when somebody pretends that reality doesn't exist in order to win an argument or in order to keep a reasonable question at bay, then what are you going to do?
What are you going to do? You can't force people to recognize reality.
You can't force them to have integrity.
You can't force them to be consistent in the standards they apply.
You can't do any of these things.
The anger is essential in realizing that You're not at fault when somebody doesn't understand what you're saying.
The anger is essential for that, I believe.
But then... But then what happens?
When you recognize that something's wrong and you lose the anger, you're in the living room again.
You can see that everyone is gone.
And this is, of course, what happens.
This is what's so painful about philosophy.
When you start to live by any kind of standards of values that are consistent and logical and empirical, everybody just vanishes.
They kick you out, you kick them out.
I mean, never the twain shall meet.
We only have the illusions of intimacy because we refuse to talk about anything important.
We have proximity based on absence.
We do not have intimacy because we can't talk about anything important, anything that's real, anything that's of genuine value.
So there's nobody there. Your family's completely vanished.
Once you realize that there's something wrong with yelling at somebody who's pretending to be retarded, who's willing to go to that length, to that much of an extreme, in order to avoid being criticized, to simply continue to pretend in comprehension, despite showing extraordinary comprehension in other areas of their life.
Nothing you can do with somebody like that.
Anger is essential as a starting point, but the final point is just leaving, right?
So your family leaves when you realize there's something wrong With yelling at your dad.
Inside the living room has turned a dull dust shade while outside it's still very bright mid-afternoon.
I can't really speak too much to this final part.
This is more to do with an internal thing, but I think that what you're getting here is that there is artificial darkness in your family room, right?
In your family home. And this ties in very much to this pretended retardation of your fathers.
There is an artificial darkness, right?
It doesn't make sense. It's bright outside and very dark in the room.
Whereas previously, before you enter into the garden, it was bright outside and bright in the room.
But once you see that there is this artificial darkness, this obscuration, this sand in the eye, fog in the brain nonsense of dissociation and pretending ignorance, which is what occurs when people are confronted with a real philosopher.
Just kick up the dust and they're like squids with ink and sometimes they write with it.
But there's nobody there.
There's just artificial darkness.
And isn't that, I think, a perfect metaphor?
Isn't the unconscious a wonderful, magical, incredible director?
Should get the Oscar for everyone every year, every day, every night.
Is that not the most amazing metaphor that people are gone but there's just artificial darkness?
But you can see the artificial darkness which means that now You're not going to stay in the room, but you're going to go outside.
So you come home. Your father has a task.
Nobody's bothered that he didn't complete it.
You're angry that he didn't because you know he's perfectly capable of it.
You go outside. He pretends to be retarded.
He doesn't even respond to your questions.
He doesn't even notice that you're angry.
Of course, he does. That's why he's pretending not to be.
Yell at a retarded person, they'd be burst into tears.
You realize that there's something wrong, not with yelling at somebody who's genuinely retarded, But yelling at somebody who's pretending that they're retarded in order to purposefully and willfully not understand what you're saying, you end up back in the family room, there's nobody there.
Because manipulative people don't exist.
Manipulative people do not have any epistemological reality.
All they do is try and control others through bullying and through entreaties and through guilt and through manipulation.
They don't exist. Whereas we want to get...
They don't exist.
Any more than your image in the mirror can pay taxes.
They don't exist. They're just a reflection of the needs of others.
And all they're doing is controlling other people to manage their own emotional state.
Whatever folks anxiety in people, they will just try and will and bully and manipulate and pretend ignorance and Get it away from them through whatever emotional tricks they can come up with.
So I think that's the nature and purpose of the dream.
And this is, of course, I think why you're doing this role reversal.
Because you realize that your father is failing in his task.
The task that he himself set out.
He started to paint this room, then he stopped.
This indicates that he has a value or a goal that he has indicated he wishes to achieve, which is to be a good father, a good husband, a good person, whatever, whatever.
But then he wanders off, and when you confront him, he pretends complete ignorance.
He pretends, like, not even a misunderstanding of what you're saying, an inability to understand anything.
I don't know why the birds.
I mean, that's something more personal to you, and perhaps you can share that if you know what it is.
It could be anything, but flightiness, right, is taking flight...
Being able to talk to birds.
I mean, St. Francis of Assisi was a bird talker and I think they seemed to me rather retarded, but you don't know.
An affinity for animals is often part of a sort of retardation.
So anyway, I hope that that helps.
I think that it's an extraordinarily powerful and positive sign that you are surmounting your father.
In your unconscious and in your processing.
And when you realize that it's your arm that's wallpapering over or painting over your masterpiece, then the next thing is why.
Why is it your arm?
Who taught you that? And I think that's where you are right now.
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