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March 6, 2007 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
34:09
671 Helping Others
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Time Text
Hello everybody, it's Steph.
Hope you're doing well. It's just before five.
I had slithered out like an eel among the rocks just before five to miss the worst of the traffic.
And I was casting about on the boards today and was looking for a good topic for coming home and thought I would troll around the show topic suggestion forum area place of action.
And lo, I did.
And lo, there is an excellent topic which I shall try and do some faint justice to.
And that topic is when to help and when not to help.
When is helping helping and when is helping enabling?
Now, Christina told me something, oh, a couple of years ago, really, about when she worked for a couple of years up in a godforsaken hellhole in northern Ontario called Owen Sound.
And she was telling me that they would get people in who'd be really depressed and they'd be really verging on catatonic and so on, and they would...
Want to take to bed and go to bed in the hospital and not get up and sort of curl into a ball and not want to move, not wanting to interact, communicate or anything like that.
And I thought, you know, in my naivety, I thought...
Well, that seems nice.
That's a nice rest in a fetal position, sucking your thumb and regressing.
And that's a nice rest.
They're obviously exhausted. They're stressed out.
They're depressed. They need to chill a little.
They need to rest and relax and so on.
And so getting into a bed and curling up in a ball seems like a very good idea.
Certainly I enjoy it when I do it, so it seems like a very good thing to do.
But this is not the case.
This is not the case. She said that it is catastrophic for their mental health if they end up progressing to too great a deal, a degree.
So you have to kind of get them out of bed, you have to get them interacting, and that it's really not good for them.
And this is interesting because for me...
When I'm tired, gee, I'll take a nap.
I'll curl up in bed.
I've sometimes, you know, this is how much I like my rest.
I've sometimes thought that if I could sort of painlessly break my leg and stay in bed for like six weeks, that'd be really nice.
I could get some reading done.
I listen to some music and watch some TV and, oh, how lovely, you know?
To be bedridden is really a wonderful thing, but I have this ridiculously robust health, so I just never get sick.
And I never, the last time I guess I spent a day in bed was when I had food poisoning about four years ago or five years ago.
About four years ago. And that was about it.
Other than that, really, I had the flu shot, which gave me a healthy dose of the flu.
And that sort of kept me down for a night.
But that wasn't the kind of bed rest that I was looking for.
So I guess this is where sort of my own desire for rest and my own desire for time to just sort of sit and read and think.
And that's sort of all the good stuff that is coming oh so soon, my pretties.
And that would be good for me.
That would be nice for me.
That would be a wonderful thing for me.
But when you project it onto somebody else, then that can be not such a good thing.
So what I would enjoy and what I would need, which would be to rest if I was tired, with the knowledge that my naturally sort of active...
I guess I haven't really made a case for being active, have I?
But my generally active personality would get me propelled back into doing the right thing or doing something once that time was appropriate, and I had, in fact, rested.
But projecting that onto somebody who's sort of terminally and catastrophically, catatonically depressed and saying, well, I would really like to curl up in bed for a couple of weeks, and wouldn't that be good for someone else?
And then they would naturally, their natural energies would reassert themselves, and they would sort of be back out.
But that's not the case, right?
right? A semi-rambly story?
It's something like a way of saying that you don't want to mistake what is good for you or what would be something that you want with something that somebody else would want.
So there is a debate on the boards that shows up very obliquely from time to time, which is marriage and children.
And those people who live and die by relationships...
I find it shocking and horrifying that we have some monks, that we have some philosophy monks, which should not be shocking.
But there is this sort of, well, don't you want a girlfriend?
It's incomprehensible, right?
And the response comes back.
It's like, no, thanks.
Actually, I could just... Give my money to people I don't like without having to have a girlfriend.
Maybe I could beat my head against the wall a little bit as well.
And there is that aspect.
And this is very common in families, right?
Where there's one way of doing things and it usually flows from the father or the mother.
And that's the right way of doing things, and anyone who does differently is wrong.
And this sort of bigoted intolerance that occurs within families, it's pretty gross.
It's just terrible.
And it is, you know, one brother joins the army, and then, you know, serving your country is a good thing.
And anyone who thinks anything differently is wrong and must be attacked and condemned.
This kind of rank, ideological, closed-minded bigotry is very common.
And it comes from thinking that what you do is defined as the right thing.
And I'm sort of talking about the negative sanctions that we have against certain kinds of behavior and stealing, raping, and killing.
I'm not talking about that kind of stuff.
I'm talking about, you know, what...
I like jazz.
Cool people like jazz. If you like Britney Spears, you are just wrong and bad and, you know, whatever.
Just silly stuff. I was talking with the woman I'm working with on this marketing stuff.
I was talking with her at lunch one day, and I can't remember why this sort of came up.
But I just sort of mentioned something about that people really like talent.
People love this idea of talent.
How many movies have you seen?
Oh, official tangent.
How many movies have you seen where...
Some kid comes in to play piano or some kid goes out to play baseball and, you know, this, this, this.
Just amazing.
They're just fantastic. Oh, they open their mouth to sing.
Oh, it's just glorious. And so I try and talk about this a little bit in The God of Atheists, this danger of talent.
And they open their mouth up or they do whatever it is and they're just, oh, you know, the coach is all...
The jaws all drop and they just, you know, wow, flock around.
And this is this cheap fantasy that somehow talent will make you happy, that somehow having ability will make you happy.
Because it will give you attention, right?
It's the same with being pretty, being buff, having a six-pack stomach, being Jude Law will make you happy.
And it's all the purest nonsense in the world, but it's hard for us to let go of it.
And we were talking about it, and I was sort of saying, like, yeah, you know, Britney Spears, right?
I mean, she had the kind of success...
That most pop singers or most singers as a whole would envy enormously, right?
And, you know, she ends up having kids with this loser and shaving her head and being eaten alive spiritually by...
The great viper Paris Hilton.
And she's like, yeah, what's happening with that?
And then she immediately caught herself, right?
Because you can't... She's highly sophisticated.
Her husband is a professor.
And she's like, oh, I don't follow any of that stuff at all.
And then she took great pains to tell me that they don't have a television.
Or if they do, they only have it for videos for the children.
And they rarely watch.
They're like all of this kind of stuff, right?
Like... You know, these people who could never be content with somebody walking in and finding them with potato chips scattered all over the place watching The View.
You know, like that's a big crime or something like that.
Actually, with The View it is.
But with most other shows, not so much.
And this kind of thing where you have this sort of attitude, right?
And you have to conform to this standard of behavior that's entirely imaginary.
And it's nothing really to do with virtue.
You can be a perfectly good person and watch two hours of television every night.
You can be a perfectly decent person and watch six hours of television every night if you want, but if you sort of admit to it, then it's...
People are just afraid of being portrayed or being viewed in a certain kind of way, and that is quite common.
I remember one of Christina's cousins, this guy, telling me, hey, you drive a Volvo, so you know what it is to make a statement.
You know what it is to have an appearance, to be able to put forward a particular image, and that's very important in the professional world.
And I said, hey, look, my socks don't match.
Because I just hate that stuff.
I hate it beyond reason, really.
I just hate that kind of stuff where you have to look a certain way and you have to dress a certain way and there's all these judgments on how people look and dress and appear and it's just gross.
But when it comes to helping someone, it is tangentially related, this tangent.
When it comes to helping someone, you really want to make sure that You have their best interest in heart.
You also have to make sure...
Sorry, that's a real bromide.
What a ridiculous thing to say. When you want to help someone, you see, it's really important to help them.
Rewind. Sorry about that. You have to make sure that you're not projecting what you want onto them.
I talked about this way, way, way back at the beginning of the podcast when I was talking about what the hell's wrong with being poor, right?
People who are really into status and that's like everybody...
On the planet, it would seem.
People who are really into status, they look at somebody who's poor, and they say, oh my god, that would just be the worst thing ever.
Oh my god, that would just be the worst thing ever.
And it's pure nonsense, right?
I'm going from $160,000 a year down to some crushingly tiny percentage of that in order to start Free Domain Radio.
I am voluntarily entering the realm of poverty, and I couldn't be happier.
There's nothing wrong with being poor except that for those who are addicted to status, they would view being poor as a hateful act of self-destruction and they wish to...
Not have there be poor people around so that they don't feel the pain of coming close to their own addiction to status.
Especially if there are, I don't know, happy poor people around.
That's why all the media has to portray poor people as noble and miserable.
That's just inevitable.
Whenever you see a poor person, he's always homeless.
Sorry, the poor person, he's always noble.
And he's always sad and dewy-eyed and frustrated only because he's poor.
So it's like the single mom, right?
Like the single mom is always...
Noble and caring and deep and spiritual.
In the sixth sense, they have this woman.
Toni Collette plays her.
Just deep and wonderful and caring and so on.
You never see a homeless guy who's homeless because he's a pedophile.
You just never see that.
You never see a homeless guy who's homeless because he's just so wracked with guilt about being a murderer.
If you put someone like that in a film, you would be condemned as the most brutal and heinous human being alive.
Can you imagine that if you had a single mom who was single because she beat her kids and the husband couldn't handle it?
I mean, if she's portrayed as poor, she's automatically dewy-eyed and virtuous and hard done by and so on, right?
I mean, this is the...
The kind of stuff that just goes on pretty continually in art.
And it's because the kind of people who make art are very addicted to status.
Usually, right? I mean, they're very addicted to status.
And so for them, not having status would be the worst thing in the world.
It would just be agony to imagine not having the stuff that they have, not being part of that entourage world.
And so... Politicians, as we all know, are highly into status as well.
Very, very high status.
Status-seeking individuals.
They've got to be dominant to others.
They've got to level others by raising themselves up and putting other people down.
They're just a little bit less benevolent than the artists who do it simply through propaganda.
They do it through guns plus propaganda.
Not quite as nice. So when you get politicians and you get artists together to create these images of the poor and so on, then you get society that is prone towards helping the poor because when the people who have the money and the power project themselves into the lives of the poor, they feel a bottomless misery.
A bottomless misery.
And in order to manage their own feelings of misery, and that that misery is sort of twofold, it's complicated, I'll just try and keep it brief.
The misery is twofold and complicated.
The first aspect of the misery is, my God, if I were in that position, I would just shoot myself.
Like when we were up at the Blue Mountain, we were up at Collingwood, up at Blue Mountain skiing this last weekend, Christina and I. And there were a bunch of maids, not the kind of maids that Jennifer Aniston in a costume kind of thing that you think of sometimes, but it was a real bitty fest, right?
Just like old ladies, rather overweight, who had these maid outfits on, and they were sort of cleaning the rooms up at this ski chalet area.
And... I was just thinking, oh my god, you know, if I were like a maid my whole life or a, I don't know what the male equivalent is, an office cleaner.
And I did it for a while when I was a teenager.
I cleaned some offices for a year or two for money.
It was one of the three jobs plus school that I had to get my way through not having any parents around from sort of my early to mid-teens onwards.
But if I'd stayed that way, that would have been a complete nightmare for me because, of course, I have abilities that exceed that station.
So it would be a sign of extraordinary poverty or paucity of ambition or confidence for me to end up doing that job for the rest of my life.
So I was looking at these people. But they didn't seem that unhappy, right?
They were joking and chatting and, you know, they obviously had taken different approaches and different roads and had different priorities, right?
They hadn't gone to school, they had had their children, they'd been grandmothers by the time they were 40 or 45, and now they were great-grandmothers, and they had probably these big sprawling masses of hurly-burly families to get involved in and so on.
And their job was just what they did to pay the bills, right?
And work to live, don't live to work.
I don't have to get up at 4 o'clock in the morning to get a flight to Topeka, Kansas or something that you do in the business world.
So when I project my own self into that kind of environment or that kind of life, it's a complete nightmare for me.
But of course, if they were forced to be in my life, it would be a complete nightmare for them.
Somebody said, go podcast and then go to work and have wrangles with executives and get into these conflicts and then go and talk to these executives at companies.
I mean, they would hate it. And then go travel and then go present at a conference.
I mean, it would be a nightmare for them.
They would just be anxiety-ridden and depressed and feel like wretched.
And it makes as much sense for me to save them from their lives as it does for them to try and save me from my life.
It's a respect for difference, a recognition of difference.
It's essential in life, I think.
I mean, that's sort of my belief.
So when you're helping someone, you've got to clean up your own motives.
You've got to look at why it is that you're trying to help them.
Are you helping them because it provokes anxiety in you to have them be the way they are?
Is it bringing a choice to the surface for you that you would just consider wrong and thus you wish to restrict your own freedom by pretending that choice is just wrong?
So if you're a guy who likes to date and there's some guy around who isn't dating or who doesn't date, do you feel like you have to save that person from not dating?
Well, it would be interesting if you asked them.
They may well feel that they must save you from your addiction to dating.
Obviously, dating or not dating is not good or evil.
I think love is better than no love in terms of romance, but no love is sure better than bad love, right?
It's better to be hungry than get food poisoning, to work a metaphor in from a little earlier in the old podcast.
So, of course, the question is, saving them from what?
What are you saving them from?
Are you saving someone from poverty?
Poverty of what kind?
There's many kinds of poverty, right?
There are the Klaus von Bulos who have all the money in the world, but they cannot love, and they cannot be loved.
There is Marilyn Monroe.
There is Britney Spears.
Britney Spears is one of the poorest women on the planet.
One of the most pillaged, neurotic, exploited, and exploiting, right?
She had her own status, right?
But a true pauper.
There's Mother Teresa, a pauper of a different kind, who is in love not with the poor, but with poverty, who says, I save each poor person because I see the face of Christ in each poor person.
Well, that's not very personal, you know?
It's a bit deranged, right?
That's why she ends up a fan of Castro.
Lots of different kinds of poverty.
How are you going to save people from poverty?
And of course, the most obvious way that people try and save people from poverty is to give them money.
That just doesn't work. You cannot solve money problems by giving people money.
Any more than you can solve love problems by going to a prostitute.
Money is an effect. It's not a cause.
Money is an effect of decisions that people make.
And giving people money that they have not earned is exactly the same as pretending to love people who are not virtuous.
It might give you some very brief respite from a certain kind of difficult feeling that you may have, but it really is not a just thing to do.
Giving money to people who have not earned it is like giving drugs to people who just want them.
Like the dangerous and unpleasant drugs.
Or drinks to an addict.
Sobriety is not something that is achieved by not drinking.
Sobriety is something that is achieved through not wanting to drink.
Or through having things in your life that are rich enough that you do not need to drink.
So years ago I was an occasional smoker.
I sort of smoke and stop, cigarette or two a day.
And... I ended up quitting, but it wasn't like, I have to quit, I must, right?
It's just that I sort of became happy enough, and it became cold enough, and I realized that it was unpleasant enough to sort of go and smoke, that I just sort of stopped it.
I mean, just didn't really think about it.
Many years ago, I guess, I sucked my thumb.
Here's something that, I can't remember if I've mentioned this before, here's something that's interesting.
Both my brother and I, and you can see this, I think, in my teeth.
I have some buck teeth. Both my brother and I We sucked our thumbs until we were in our teenage years.
I stopped sucking my thumb and never looked back, and it was impossible to stop before when I was 16 and went to stay with my father for a couple of months in Africa.
So, I mean, stepped off the plane, went to my father's house, stopped sucking my thumb, never wanted to do it again.
Isn't that sort of funny, right?
I mean, that's just so psychological that it's one of these things that makes you go, yeah, I guess there's something to this whole psychological stuff, right?
In my father's house, I do not need to be an infant.
So, if you want people to not be poor, then obviously there's things that you need to do.
Like, you need to create jobs, right?
I mean, this is what I'd really like. For people who are really into welfare and charity and helping people, go start a business.
Go hire some people. Don't take my money at the point of a gun and hand it out in welfare.
Go hire people. Go create opportunity.
And, of course, there are people who can't take advantage of this opportunity for this, that, and the other.
And that's fine.
I mean, I'm not saying no charity, right?
But charity kind of has to be earned.
Anything that's given that's not earned corrodes the soul.
Anything that's given that is not earned corrupts the soul.
And charity needs to be earned just like everything else.
You don't earn it by begging and you don't earn it by anything else or anything like that.
You earn it through sort of a variety of mechanisms, right?
So I'm a charity, right? I mean, people give to me.
I don't charge for the podcast.
It's just I hand them out like candy and hope that people will send me some money.
So I'm a charity. I mean, I'm officially a charity.
I'm doing stuff, which I think is worth the money.
But I'm officially a charity.
But I think that I earn the charity.
And the way that you earn charity primarily is through virtue or through when you're a kid, dependents.
Kids are huge charities.
There's nothing wrong with that. It's perfectly natural.
Kids are huge charities.
And they kind of earn it through the attachment and the bonding of the parents and so on.
But you kind of hope that the kids are going to earn it through being good kids or through being taught to be good kids and so on.
And if you have a mom who's 80 or whatever and she's frail and you can't work obviously and And do you sort of pop over to take care of her?
Do you give her money when she needs it?
Do you set up a nursing home?
Do you sort of take her to the hospital?
Do you do all of these things?
Well, that's a kind of charity, right?
It's not like your mom's paying you like some stranger to do it.
But how does she earn that?
Well, she earns that through a lifetime of virtue.
It's not like you owe it to her then.
You can do it or you don't do it, right?
but it's likely that you'll want to do it because you love her.
It's likely that you'll want to do that because you love her.
Thank you.
And the great challenge of charity kind of comes up when people are hateful or unpleasant or difficult or mean or surly or cynical or negative towards their children or whatever, right? There's a good scene in St.
Elmo's Fire where one of them takes a job in a welfare office.
And this woman comes in with like eight kids or something.
It's been a long time since I've seen it, but this is what I remember.
The woman comes in with like eight kids.
And she's like, well, we have all these retraining programs and this.
and they have all, it's like, just give me the check.
And that is a very difficult situation.
it.
It's a very difficult situation.
There's a lot of manipulation in poverty.
There's a lot of manipulation in having children out of wedlock.
And it's like you're holding your children hostage.
My kids have got to eat. What are you going to do?
You can be as hateful as you want.
People are going to feel compelled to give you money because you've got these children.
That's a horrible situation.
A very difficult situation. I'm not going to claim to have any easy answers for that.
I can tell you what is not.
It's welfare. But I don't have any easy answers to that.
But when people don't earn charity, what do you do?
Well, if they are solo, just some guy, then you don't owe them anything.
But if they've got kids, I don't know.
I mean, that just gets all messy, right?
I mean, I don't know what an NCAP society would do that.
People would pay him good money to give up his claim on the children or something like that.
I mean, there would be some way of rescuing the kids without enabling the parents.
So how do you know the difference?
I mean, there's some principles that I'm putting out there, right?
Like, charity has to be earned.
Charity has to be earned. Everything has to be earned in life.
Everything has to be earned.
That's just reality.
And if you're not earning it, you're stealing it.
Either through emotional manipulation or through outright force.
But everything has to be earned.
And there are some principles where virtue is what earns every transfer of good, right?
Of goods and services, materials, energy, resources, whatever, favors, sexual favors.
That is all earned through virtue.
But how do you know what's going on?
Well, this is where your wonderful and magical gut comes in.
Your gut will tell you. Your gut will tell you.
Do you want to do it?
Right? Do you want to do it?
There's a kind of dizzying pull manipulation that occurs from people who want stuff that they have not earned.
And I'll sort of give you an example of that, which maybe you can relate to.
Years and years ago, this would be...
Oh, gosh. Nine years ago, I think.
Yeah, I think I was 31 or so.
My mother, she's in a choir, or was in a choir.
And this choir was having, it was the Austrian club.
She's actually German, but she's down with the Austrians.
Maybe that's where I got the economics from.
Oh. Oh.
Oh, dear. What a joke.
I'm sure I'll forget to erase that.
And she wanted me to come to a dinner dance.
With her, to accompany her, to escort her to this dinner dance that was going on at the Austrian Club.
And I wanted to do that about as much as I wanted to get my tooth extracted, although, you know, with a boar and with no anesthetic.
It was not number one on my list.
And I agreed because I thought it was the right thing to do, and you can never fight against that.
It's the argument for morality, no matter what you do.
And then it turned out that I had to leave very early the next morning for work.
And I had a whole bunch of stuff to do at work to get ready for a presentation.
Gillette, Wyoming, if memory serves me right.
And so I called my mom and I told her, I said, I'm sorry, I'm not going to be able to go with you tomorrow.
I think it was tomorrow because I've got to get up at 4 o'clock in the morning to get a flight.
This thing's not going to end until midnight.
I'm going to be downtown. I've got to get up.
Whatever, right? I'm not going to get like no sleep, right?
And she totally panicked.
And this is something that if you've been around it with parents or with other people in your life, it really is like falling down a well.
It is so hard to resist.
It is so hard to resist the disappointment.
And my mom is not sophisticated enough to go like, oh, it's okay.
I'll be fine. There is this, it feels like you're falling down a well because the other person just needs you to do something so much.
Needs you to do something so much.
It's like you're standing on solid ground.
It turns into quicksand, then it turns into a trapdoor, then it turns into endless falling.
I couldn't reproduce for the life of me the conversation, but the need was palpable.
The phone grew hot in my hand with the need and the desperation and the desire.
Of course, it was because she wanted to show me off as her...
Sophisticated son in a suit to all of the other people there.
So I was her status symbol and she couldn't go alone.
And she didn't care one whit about me getting two hours sleep or three hours sleep and then having to go on a business meeting.
That wasn't important to her because what was important to her was her status.
And that feeling when you don't want to do something, but you feel that the other person will just die if you don't do it for them.
Or you feel that, even if they're being nice, oh, that's okay, I'll be fine.
Like, you're going to pay later. You're just going to pay later.
Where there's this implicit threat of missed expectations in the air and where you feel like it's like you're pulling your way out.
If you've ever fallen into icy water, it's really hard to get out because the ice is crumbly at the edge, right?
So every time you try and pull yourself out, you just pull more ice into the water.
And sometimes you actually have to literally have to do this, right?
You have to sort of get your mitts down on the ground, wait for them to freeze, and then pull yourself out that way.
I mean, it's just really difficult.
And it's that kind of feeling.
You're trying to sort of struggle out.
You're like a hobbit in a she-loops-web.
The more you struggle, the worse it gets.
And that sort of feeling is when you are being asked for a charity that is not earned.
You're being asked for a charity that's not earned, that's not deserved.
But it's simply a need that the other person is expressing.
And a lot of art is around this, too, with this portrayal of the Sad, noble, poor.
You don't have people who end up poor because they're stupid and brutal.
And you see this in soldiers too.
We don't have to go into that as well.
The young, noble, crack-jawed soldiers and so on.
Square-jawed soldiers. Craggy-jawed?
I don't know. There's cracks and squares and jaws.
Let's just mix it up in a bag and see what comes out.
Ooh, soldier puree. So helping someone is involuntary and it doesn't really feel like help.
It's just something that you want to do.
Christina's been working all day.
I just love to make her food.
She earns it. She's so generous to me and so sweet and kind.
It's inevitable.
It sort of passes things back and forth.
This is what happens when you earn stuff.
So that aspect of things is very important.
You really can't help people unless you're sort of with reference to reality, with reference to virtues and to values.
And also, they kind of have to be in motion already.
I've sort of tried to jumpstart a number of people in my life, and you really can't do it.
But boy, do you waste a lot of time and money and energy trying to do it.
And that's something that I've sort of learned over the years.
Because, I mean, you give me...
Half a loaf of bread and I'll live on it for a month.
The things that I can fashion out of a very little amount of encouragement and positivity is really quite remarkable to me at least.
What I can survive on, I'm like the mudfish that sort of sleeps in the silt for eight months and then emerges just peckish.
I can live on very little in that sense.
So it doesn't take a lot to sort of get me going.
I'm like, hey, 12 people have downloaded my podcast.
I think I'll do 700. I mean, I'm sort of that madly enthusiastic.
So when people sort of put resources in for me, I'm very sort of happy and keen and positive to do it, right?
So when a publisher was interested in the God of Atheists, or at least claimed to be, and said, it needs a rewrite...
Then I will go and take three weeks off work, and I will go and rewrite it.
And when a publisher was interested in Just Poor and said, I don't like the second half, I literally did take a month off work, and I rented a cottage in England, and I sat for three weeks there, and I just rewrote hundreds and hundreds of pages of this book.
And then I handed it back to her, and she's like, oh, actually, it's not really a genre that we work with.
That's the way the publishing biz goes, at least for me.
So, it doesn't take a lot of positive feedback or energy or investment for me to make things happen.
And so, what I do is I mistake other people and I try and help other people.
I help get them moving.
I don't try and guide them and they're already in flight.
You can coach someone if they show up and work really hard.
You can't coach someone if they don't get out of bed and come to practice.
But I try and do that.
I help them out of bed and I put their shoes on and I drag them out to the...
I just get over-enthusiastic that way, and that's sort of a problem for me.
That's what I manifest. And that doesn't work at all, right?
So this kind of stuff in terms of how to help people when enabling them is, I hope this has been somewhat helpful, but it really does come down to helping people achieve what they're already in progress towards, or if they're not in progress towards it, what they've already earned through their virtue in their interaction with you.
And handing over anything that's unearned, I think, is not a good idea.
Thank you so much for listening. Hey, pretty short podcast.
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