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Aug. 6, 2006 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
34:09
359 Holy Bat-Dream!
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Alright, ladies and gentlemen, it's dream time once more.
We have got an absolutely fascinating dream from a listener.
And I'm not going to...
I don't think there's any identifying characteristics in it, so I'm going to go ahead and do it.
And just so you know, if you don't want me to do a dream live, baby, live, then if you could let me know when you post it, that would be great.
So... This is the dream, and I've got, I think, Christine and I have managed to work out just about everything to do with this dream in some semi-coherent fashion, with the exception of the damn cats, who I'm not sure about.
So, this is a dream from a listener.
It goes something like this. This is a gentleman who is 36 years old.
I'm in a house with the lights on, although I'm not sure whose house it is.
All of the furniture is covered with white sheets.
The lights go out but there is some light radiating underneath all the sheets just enough to illuminate the sheets and cast shadows but not enough to provide a level of comfort.
I then notice that there is something moving under the sheets trying to get out.
I feel a growing sense of dread and anger when I realize that the silhouetted shapes are flying bats.
I distinctly remember that I knew that the bats had to go and that I was going to have to face this fear.
This caused a mixture of incredible rage and terror.
I picked up some sort of hand-to-hand weapon to charge the sheets foaming at the mouth.
When I'm about to hit the sheets, the lights come back on and the bats stop moving.
I then kneel down, lift a sheet, and peer under a couch only to see three or four beautiful white cats.
My father was very abusive, continues the listener, and I feel there is a connection, but I can't quite figure out where the cats come into play.
Amen, brother. My only hunch is that the cats are symbolic of my father as he is now, older and kinder.
But why cats?
Is there a common symbol which cats represent in dreams?
And so another listener asked him, what are your associations with cats?
Did you have cats growing up? He said, yes, there were always cats in the house when I was growing up.
I don't own a cat now.
There was a black cat who died, and it upset me very much when I was around 10 years old.
I can't think of any substantial connection in regards to bats flying or baseball.
So I assume that he is attacking the bats with a bat, which is just the kind of tight symbology that you would anticipate in a dream.
So, as per usual, and of course this is something that if you're going to post a dream and would like Christina and I to have a look at it, then if you could give this kind of history, this is usually quite helpful.
And just to warn you, there's some unpleasant aspects of this history, but it's well worth understanding and relevance to the dream.
So I asked, of course, for this history, and he said, Oh, Lord, here we go.
In terms of my intellectual environment, I was always considered smart by my parents and teachers.
I had top percentile results in various grammar school assessment tests.
While my parents told me I was smart, they also never encouraged me to succeed.
I was expected not to go to college.
My father was abusive in the standard cheap beer and dirty t-shirt manner and then some.
I was smacked around and got to standard because I'm your father line.
I was the poster child for the kid who was to be seen and not heard.
I was never allowed to ask why or attempt to question his motives.
The result of any attempt at a rational line of questioning was getting hit.
I remember being sent to karate school to learn how to fight.
After several months of training my mom took a swing at me.
Without even thinking I blocked her attack.
When my father came home he was enraged that I would not allow my mom to slap me.
He tried to slap me and I automatically blocked his swing.
I would never have consciously done that due to the consequences.
It was just part of the training. I remember having to literally hold my hands behind my back in order to accept what followed.
There was also quite a bit of emotional torture.
If I did something he didn't like, I would have to sit in the bathtub, sometimes naked, and wear what was essentially a dunce cap.
This sounds silly on some level, but it was worse than any of the hitting, and I certainly understand that.
There was another time when I was around seven years old, there were some kids on the news who suffocated by going inside an old refrigerator and getting locked in.
This disturbed him a great deal, and he decided he would teach me a lesson.
I remember him saying something like, I would rather have you hate me than have you die.
He then proceeded to suffocate me.
I was terrified and eventually played possum, at which point he stopped and walked out of the room.
We have never spoken about that incident.
I remember the hate, rage, and helplessness.
I hated him for years and I knew it.
I think that to some extent, that was a saving grace.
I avoided him whenever I could.
I moved out of the house as soon as I graduated from high school.
At some point during high school, my father changed completely.
He was now gentle, caring and encouraging, hence my cat theory.
He stopped drinking for about 25 years.
We now have a pretty good relationship and I enjoy spending time with mom and dad.
They are not one of my top-tier relationships to be sure, but I still enjoy their company.
One last note. My father always has had a truly anarchic approach to familial relationships.
We are not obligated just because of genetics.
He had many brothers and sisters, but only spoke to one or two.
As an example, I found out last year, I am 36, that I had an uncle I never knew of who was living a couple of miles from me.
I'm pretty sure the dream is related to my father based on the rage-anger feeling.
As a side note, I also have a white wife and daughter.
Since I, quote, converted after marriage, there are a few problems there as well.
She has always been a socialist, and I'm not trying to change her.
However, after quietly playing your podcast in the bedroom after she falls asleep, she is nearly minarchist.
Well,
Thank you, my friend, for giving us a wonderful dream, which is both powerful and clear to me up until the cats.
And I have a couple of theories about the cats, but we will talk about those, and then you can let me know whether they're accurate or not.
Now, the first thing that struck me about this dream and the subsequent Another discussion of history is the number of times that the color white shows up.
And I'll just sort of go over this. So we're in a house.
The lights are on. Of course, it's white light.
We've got white sheets.
We have white cats.
And... In the intellectual, sorry, his father was abusive in a standard cheap beer and dirty t-shirt manner, so I assume that's kind of like what's colloquially known as the wife beater.
It's the undershirt without the arms, dirty t-shirt, so you have a white that is stained.
Karate school, of course, you have white costumes, and I think you start with a white belt or a yellow, it could be a yellow belt.
And, of course, you're sitting in a bathtub.
Almost all bathtubs are white.
Maybe yours wasn't. And kids suffocated inside an old refrigerator.
A refrigerator is white.
And so on.
So there's lots of indicators of the phrase of white here.
So I certainly understand why the dream is focusing on white.
Now, again, when you start looking at a dream, you want to try and figure out what the environment is and what your reaction is to it and compare it to how you would react in real life.
That's a fairly important thing to consider.
So, for instance, if I'm in some real-world scenario, and I'm sure this would be the case with you as well, if you're in some real-world scenario where you're standing inside a house...
And you don't know whose house it is, and the lights suddenly go out, and you see light radiating from underneath all the sheets, and you see all of these bats or what you perceive to be flying bats.
My first instinct would be to, you know...
Leave the house. That would sort of be the first thing, right?
It's like all those horror movies that you see where it's like, you go for help.
I'll follow the bloody footprints.
So the first thing that I would do is run out of the house.
But this is not what this gentleman does.
And that's fairly important to understand.
Why would it be the case that he would do something so irrational?
It must be because he's invested in the house in some manner.
To some manner, it is his house or he has a responsibility to get the bats out of the house.
And that's something that's important to understand.
So he doesn't know whose house it is, which is important, but it is a house that he has responsibility for.
So this is, I would say, a disowned part of the self, right?
I don't know whose it is, but I definitely have to clean it up.
I definitely have responsibility for it.
So if you were just looking over, someone just gave you keys and said, oh, go have a look at this house, and you went in, and then the lights went off, and then you saw these weirdly illuminated sheets, and you saw all these bats, well, you wouldn't say, because it was just a house you were looking at, you wouldn't say, hey, you know what, I think I'm going to clean out, I'm going to... Be the exterminator guy and get all these bats out of the house, right?
So this is a clear indication in the dream, based on his reaction, that although the house is unfamiliar, he has ownership of it.
It is his responsibility. It is his house, however you want to put that, at one degree or another.
So this is a strong metaphor for a disowned part of yourself.
Although it's terrifying, you're still going to face it, even though the environment is not familiar.
So this is a part of yourself that you have disowned.
Now... The placement and the source of light is also very important and very interesting in this dream.
All of the furniture is covered with white sheets, and the lights are on, so you can't see into the sheets, because the light is coming in from outside, right?
So when the perspective is from outside, the sheets just look like white sheets draped over furniture.
So when the light is coming from outside, when you're viewing it from the outside...
Then it looks just like a normal, disused, unfamiliar place.
But then when the lights go out, and of course lights don't just go out unless they break, in which case they don't come back on again as they do at the end of this dream.
When the lights go out, then you can see the illumination that is coming from within the sheets.
Right? So the light from inside.
This is a, for me at least, a clear metaphor for introspection of one kind or another.
When you are looking at things from the outside in, you can't see the inner light and you can't see the inner shapes.
You can't see into the history.
When you adjust, and this is related, of course, to his parents, right, who are acting in a nice way, and so he's judging them from the outside in.
In other words, right now, in the moment, in the present, they are pleasant.
Right? Whereas if he goes from the inside out, i.e.
from his own childhood experiences up to the present, then he gets a whole different kind of illumination.
A whole different kind of view of visibility, which is from the inside out rather than from the outside in.
So I don't mean to labor this, but I probably am.
So sorry about that. But I really want this to sort of be clear, and it's not clear, at least I don't think it's clear yet, because I can't sort of stage this for you, although I've staged it with Christina, right?
So, when the lights are on, in the house you just see these sheets, you don't see any inner light, and everything looks calm and peaceful.
And then, when the lights go out from the outside, you see the inner light, and then it's revealed all of this horror, these bats, right?
So, this is to me a clear example of looking at things in the present from the outside in, versus looking at things in terms of the history from the inside out.
So, there's enough to illuminate the sheets and cast shadows, the light from inside when the lights go out, but not enough to provide a level of comfort.
Well, no kidding.
Inner illumination from your own past, especially a past as violent and brutalized as this, is something that is not going to provide any comfort.
I then notice that there is something moving under the sheets, trying to get out.
I feel a growing sense of dread and anger when I realize the silhouetted shapes are flying bats.
Now again, why bats?
Why under the sheets and so on?
Well, the way that I think that this is important is that this is where this gentleman is in his progression towards understanding the truth about his own history and therefore in making more sensible decisions about his own present.
So if you sort of step into the dream with me, we'll stand in this room, which is just say it's a living room and the couches are all covered with white sheets.
The lights go out, you see all these bats underneath the sheets.
Well, the first thing that you would imagine doing if you had to deal with exterminating something is you would rip the sheets off, right?
And then spray or whatever, right?
Whatever it was you were going to do to deal with the bats.
So the first thing you want to do is remove the hiding places, right?
And this dream is about the need to uncover the past, right?
To my mind, at least, this dream is about the need to uncover the past and live from the inside out rather than judge from the outside in.
So if we're in this dream and we're a team of exterminators and there are all these bats underneath these white sheets, then the logical thing to do would be to...
Well, you could sort of do one of two things.
You would either rip the...
Like, take the sheets off...
But the problem with that, of course, is that then the bats are going to attack you.
Obviously, there's a malevolence within the bats.
I'm using the word malevolence here only in terms of the dream analogy, not in terms of bats actually being malevolent.
They're just doing their bat thing.
But... So if we rip the sheets off, then obviously there is a fear that the bats are going to flap up, and they're going to be uncontrollable, they're going to be on the loose, and they're going to be unmanageable, and they're going to attack whoever is ripping the sheets off, right? So revelation that would be to occur all at once would be self-destructive.
You will be in grave danger if you, in my mind, if you sit down with your parents and go through all of your history, you're going to be in grave danger.
And this would be a pretty significant danger.
And the danger, of course, is that, not that they're going to physically attack you or choke you now as an adult, But the danger is that you will end up realizing two things.
One, that you have begun for the past 20 years, you have to some degree forgiven your father for what he has done, although there have been no apologies and no conversations about the past.
So you've covered everything over, right?
You've whitewashed, I mean this is another way that the word white might be incorporated within the dream, but you have covered up the predators, the bats, whatever you want to call, right?
You have covered all of this up and you have been judging from the outside in.
That is going to give you a destabilized sense of your own capacity to process things from a moral standpoint.
That's sort of number one.
Number two, while you were in the process of covering up all of this evil in your past and continuing to associate with frankly murderous parents who have not apologized nor gone through significant therapy, because of course if they had gone through significant therapy...
Then they would have already brought up with you the issue around your father, say, choking you to death or putting you into karate and then preventing you from defending yourself.
It's sort of a significant contradiction.
If you're sent to karate to learn how to fight and then the first time you try to use it to defend yourself against your brutal parents and you are disallowed from doing that...
This would be something that your father would have dealt with in therapy and would have talked to you about it, not to speak of simulating, strangling you to death, so that you learn not to go into refrigerators, right?
I mean, this is something that if your parents had gone through therapy, they would have dealt with this and talked to you about it, so they have either not gone through therapy or they have not gone through any kind of significant therapy.
So, you did two things while you were in this denial, right?
While you were wallpapering over, while you were covering over, covering up, whitewashing the past, you got married and you became a father.
What effect does that whitewashing of your own history, that covering up of your own brutality, to what degree has that affected your marriage and your status as a parent?
Well, I would say that one of the ways it's possible that that happened was that you ended up teaching your child all about freedom while putting her in a public school.
This is probably why this is coming up for you now, but we can sort of get back to that another time if you like.
But this is going to be very destructive for you to rip all of this off at once.
So, hey, allow me to do it.
So, this is sort of why, when you're in this dream, you can't rip all of the coverings off the furniture and see things as they really are, because you're going to get attacked by the bats.
Now, the other thing that you would do...
If you wanted to deal with the bats, if you would start to get the edges of the...
I'm just sort of thinking if they were on a table, right?
So you've got a sort of little round table with a couple of bats on and then the sheets over top of them.
Another logical thing to do, if I was sort of in this situation, would be to sort of put down some books around the edges of the table to make sure the bats couldn't wriggle out from the side and then close up The sheets so that you had sort of the bats in a bag, so to speak. That would be another way of doing it.
I don't think you could as easily do that with furniture, but clearly you feel that even getting close to these bats, to do that, to contain them, to put them in an enclosed area and thus to sort of shake them free in the backyard or something, that you feel that even that is too dangerous and that there is simply no possibility...
Of doing anything other than destroying the bats with a bat.
And I only say bat, although you don't mention it in the dream itself.
You mentioned later that... It is a kind of very succinct and compact metaphor, typical of dreams, that you're attempting to kill bats with a bat.
So, and you mentioned the word bat in one of your clarifying statements, so let's just say that that is the case and work with it from that standpoint.
So, the only thing you can do is attack the bats with a bat.
And then when you are about, in rage and terror, foaming at the mouth, right?
Literally rabid, literally crazed with rage and terror, which I can totally understand.
I mean, that's your experience of your childhood daily, so I certainly don't have any quibbles with that.
It seems a perfectly healthy emotional reaction to have based on this concentration camp that you grew up in.
And I would not underestimate the degree to which you may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder based on a childhood like this, so you might want to look up a little bit to do with that.
And, of course, try and read Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Munro.
It's a good book dealing with this kind of stuff.
And some of John Bradshaw's stuff, if you can ditch some of the religious overtones on Family Secrets, would also be a good set of reading, if you don't mind.
Psychology of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Brandon is also very good, but it's a bit more of a general response.
So, the next aspect I think that's important to work on Is what happens when you approach, in a mad rage, you approach the bats to hit them with a bat.
Well, what happens?
The light comes back on.
So clearly you're in a state here where somebody is not...
You think it's an empty house, which would make sense because it's all covered up, like no one's living there, right?
But at the same time, you're not in an uninhabited house because somebody's turning on and off the lights.
You are being manipulated, but you're sort of being jerked around or played like a fish, right?
Because the lights are off and then the lights are back on and so on.
And to me, the lights are on when you're looking at the situation with your false self, and then the lights are off when you're looking at the situation with your true self, i.e.
from the inside out, from the lights illuminated from underneath the covers, rather than the beasts of prey, the attackers, the dangerous animals, being obscured by the light coming in from outside.
So then the lights turn on again, and two things occur.
Number one, the bats stop moving.
And, of course, number two, I assume you can't see the bats anymore, right?
Because, obviously, you couldn't see the bats before the lights went off, and so when the lights are back on, you can't see the bats anymore.
And we'll get to the cats in just a second, but this is sort of how it works for me psychologically.
Now, fathers and sons, and maybe this is true of moms and daughters too, but I'm not going to go out on a limb that far, fathers and sons face an elemental shift in power that is constantly described in literature and art and so on, wherein the father is physically far, far, far stronger than the son.
And so, if the father is of a violent frame of mind, then the father can, without effort, bully, terrorize, and violently subdue and destroy the capacity for self-defense in his son.
Now, of course, the problem is that by establishing the principle that superior force, the capacity for superior force, And superior clarity and superior freedom of action results in the physical destruction or the physical abuse of the weaker party is basically, you know, that old line, you sow a demon seed, you raise a flower of fire.
So by brutalizing a son when he is very young or...
Before the growth spurts of puberty and post-puberty, the father is sowing the seeds of retaliation.
This is very, very common, and you can see this all over the place in history.
This is the Darth Vader situation for those who are not so much into their Homer.
And so... By brutalizing the son, the father is sowing the seeds of his own destruction, because as the father ages and becomes physically and mentally weaker, then the son, taking the cue from the father, can violently abuse the father, and the father cannot complain.
But of course the father, who is violently abusive towards his own son, does not, and of course verbally abusive too, but we're just going to talk violence because that's what's the facts of this person's history.
The father does not want to be abused in turn, however logical it may be, because these arguments for morality are always false.
And reciprocity, the lack of reciprocity, is exactly how you know that an argument for morality is false.
So if the father says, I abuse you because I'm stronger, then as the son hits his physical prime, the father then changes the rules and changes the persona, and in effect throws the switch of glaring light, which obscures the inner light of truth.
So this gentleman says, my father, when I was midway through high school, which is when I guess somebody is 15 or 16, and this is when the growth spurt really hits for most men, certainly was the case for me, then you are now in a situation where you are physically stronger, more powerful than your father.
So now what should happen is...
If your father were to continue to attack you physically, then at some point you would notice that you could take him.
This certainly was the case with my own mother, that she would continue to attack me physically until at one point I just stopped her, because it was very clear to me that, and I told her if she ever hit me again, I would start returning the favor.
And so the bully then becomes the potential victim.
So what do a lot of parents do?
And I assume that you had, because of your physical training in karate, you had some comfort with using your body as a weapon, or at least as a defensive weapon and so on, or shield.
And so what happened?
Well, your father had beaten you, had humiliated you, had both taught you how to protect yourself and then physically stripped you of your defenses so you had to hold your hands behind as he pounded you.
He had sat you in a bathtub and humiliated you, and last but not least...
He had pretended to choke you nearly to death and then walked out of the room without explaining anything further.
And so clearly you are in a situation where reciprocal violence would be perfectly justified.
I mean, to my mind, I would not, like if you then the next time, like to say you're 16 and you're as big as your dad, but you have youth and quickness and the first flush of strength on your side, if your father took a swing at you and you pounded him into the ground, I for one would actually cheer.
I would applaud. This would be a Karate Kid moment for me, so to speak.
So, your father's perfectly aware of this.
So, what does he do when you get into your mid-teens?
Well, he goes through a remarkable and astounding and wonderful change, right?
So, suddenly that you get big and strong, he finds it within his heart to be compassionate, wise, wonderful, and perfect, right?
Well, no. It's just a way of disarming your natural anger in order to retain your company and resources as it gets older.
I mean, we talked about this before.
The natural retribution that you would be perfectly justified in taking, to quite a considerable degree, I might add.
If since you had been pounded for 15 years, the next time that he tried to pound you and you could legitimately physically pound him back, I would say that's a pretty volatile situation.
I mean, I personally, if you cracked him one and he fell and hit his head or whatever and was badly hurt, I still, I'm the jury, I'm like, hey, I got nothing but praise for you, my son, because you were fighting back against a bully who had tyrannized you and nearly killed you.
So, more power for you in terms of self-defense.
I think that's great.
So, this is the situation that your father was setting up.
So then, when you became old enough to defend yourself, suddenly, wow, look at that.
I've suddenly become a great guy, and we're going to be best buds, and I'm as wise as the ages.
Now, this, to me, is when you get angry, and you have a bat, and the bat, of course, is, you could say, a phallic symbol, because it really is around achieving sexual maturity, right?
So you have a bat, and you're going to hit the bats, right?
So you are going to fight back against your father, but then, poof!
Wow, look at that! The lights come back on, the bats stop moving, and everything is obscured again.
So I would say that the story of this, very briefly, is that when you were very, very young, your father, as a narcissistic bully, with, I would say, sociopathic tendencies, if not complete sociopathy, was not threatened by you as an infant.
Right? Because you didn't have any will that was developed enough to oppose his, right?
So initially, the lights are on and everything's pretty calm and you don't see the bats and so on, right?
This is infancy. Now, when you hit around two or three years old and you began to go through the terrible twos and what are called the terrible twos and the no phase and so on, Then what happened was you began to oppose your father, and this is when you began to be humiliated and beaten and so on, right?
So this is, the replay of this is the lights go out when you begin to develop your own identity and you start to see all of these horrible, dangerous, evil tendencies of your father.
And then what happens is you get a bat and you begin to confront this fear and you're going to attack your father back or defend yourself against your father with a counterattack to the point where he's not going to try it again.
I mean, the reason that excessive force would be, or what might be considered excessive force, if you're just walking down the street and somebody jumps you, then you just want to get them off you so that you can keep moving.
But if you're locked up with someone, you may want a larger proportion of force in order to dissuade them from ever trying it again.
Because if all you do is put them off and put them off and put them off, you're not giving them a negative enough incentive to prevent from trying it again, right?
So when you get old enough to pound your father back, he goes through this miraculous transformation and becomes a nice guy.
In which case, the lights go off, right?
You have a bat, you're about to counterattack, and the lights go off.
And the bats stop moving, And you're bewildered, and suddenly, see, the interesting thing is, you want to get rid of the bats, right?
So the moment you see the bats, you're like, holy shit, what a nightmare.
I've got to get rid of these bats, to the point where you're not going to run out of the house, you're going to grab your own bat, and you're going to try and hit these things and kill them and drive them out of the house and so on, in a terror of violence and tension.
But then the lights go on, the bats stop moving, and it's like...
Nothing happened. There's no continuity here.
So the rage and terror that you felt towards your father, legitimately and in a healthy manner, when you were younger, when he transformed, it was like, well, hey, it didn't happen.
It didn't exist. Now we don't have to get the bats out because they've stopped moving and I can't see them anymore very easily because the lights are back on and I'm viewing everything from the outside in again.
So, I would say that the dream is about pointing out to you a considerable lack of continuity in your processing of your experiences with your mother and your father.
Your father did not change.
He did not become a better person.
But even if we say that he did become a better person, then...
Does that mean that he could have done it at any time?
Did it just happen to be when you achieved physical and sexual maturity and were able to fight back and owed him a good pounding?
No. If he really did change and become a good person, the question is, why didn't he become a good person earlier?
And of course, the really telling phrase is when you talk about the time that he almost choked you to death as a lesson that he's never talked about that since.
So he just wants everything to be obscured.
The bats have stopped moving, everything's fine, but they're still there.
They're still there and you still have to get rid of them.
And why? For the sake of you and your wife and your daughter, who Christina has theorized and I think is a good theory, certainly better than anything I was flailing around trying to come up with, are the three cats.
Underneath the covers is the brutality, the violence of your father.
Underneath that is the furniture.
Underneath all of that, hiding from all of that, is the three cats, right?
The three beautiful white cats, who in a sense are the source of the illumination or could be thought of as a source of the illumination, right?
You said that the sheets are illuminated from inside and that's how you see the violence.
Well... This is the source of...
The white cats could be thought of as the source of the light.
This is something that's more my interpretation.
It could be the case. It could not be.
I haven't really come up with the cats as a final metaphor yet.
Maybe you can tell me more that might help, or tell me if this sort of works.
But I think the key thing that you need to figure out as a result of working on this dream or thinking about this dream is you need to figure out what contradictory nonsense you are bringing to your relationships in other areas in order to cover up this incredible brutality of your fathers and think that he's now a nice guy and you enjoy his company.
This is not the case. Your father no more became a good person when you got to be physically and sexually mature than a mugger becomes a moral person when you manage to wrestle the gun from him.
The mugger's like, oh, sorry, I didn't mean to be robbing you.
I'm all for property rights now that you've got the gun.
Well, you don't say, hey, great, let's go for tea.
All that's happened is that the gun has changed hands.
That's all that's happened. That's why your father complied.
That's why he became a better person.
I'm not saying it's inevitable.
Some fathers continue to try and beat things down.
But I would assume that because of your physical training in karate, you actually had the capacity to fight and to use your body as a defensive weapon.
And so this is something that your father was scared of.
And as soon as you got the power to fight back, he miraculously changed and became a better person.
Don't believe it for a moment.
Do not believe it for a moment.
The other question that I have, of course, is...
Do you ever leave your daughter in the care of your father or your mother?
This is another important question because the cats in this situation are also hiding from the bats.
The bats are on top of the furniture, underneath the covers.
The cats are hiding underneath the furniture.
So I would say that your lack of clarity regarding your father's violence is something that is imprisoning your own family or causing some significant restrictions in freedom towards your own family.
And allowing these kinds of contradictions into your life is probably one of the reasons why your daughter needs continual deprogramming.
It's not primarily from the public school system, but from your own moral contradictions.
And look, all sympathy towards your moral contradictions, but if you really want to find out if your father has changed, right, if you really want to examine this, then you simply have to, and I say simply, not saying that it's easy, all you have to do is bring this post, read it out to your parents, not about the dream, but about your history, and say, what the fuck was up with all that?
What the hell was going on, you freaks?
Or something to that effect, right?
So that you can begin to honestly and with a persistent manner, not necessarily an abusive manner, but with a persistent manner, begin to probe your parents about your history, and then you'll see whether there are bats in the room or not.
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