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April 19, 2006 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
32:23
198 Parenting Part 3: Communication
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Good afternoon, everybody.
I hope you're doing well. It's Steph. It is quarter to six on the 19th of April, 2006.
And I hope you had a fantastic day.
Gotta tell ya, my soul soars in the summertime, and the livin' is easy.
And so the fact that the temperature is so beautiful outside and it's so warm and Canada will now be a glorious place to live for about the next six months.
And here we're actually pre-bugs, which is a good thing because the bugs can be a bit of a drag.
So it's a lovely time of year and I hope that you're enjoying yourself and I hope you get the chance to go outside.
And enjoy the summer as it comes.
So, a couple of corrections.
I did have a chance to have a look into, at lunch, the Horus-Jesus debate.
And I need to offer an official retraction and apology because I overstepped my accuracy and not even in a way that was very hard to figure out or defensible.
I actually was reading from...
An entry in a website about this.
I was reading from a table, and then when somebody asked me to look back, and I sort of looked further down, and I thought it was just ads at the bottom, so I didn't really read them.
But one of them said that certain aspects of the Horace myth and its similarity to Christ were not confirmed.
In fact, it was specifically rejected by a number of Egyptologists.
So I apologize for going too far in reading off that.
It turns out this controversy about Horus and Christ has been going on since the mid-19th century, and you would think, of course, that in that length of time, in the 150-odd years, that there would actually be some solid scholarship proving or disproving this either way.
And, of course, those who put forward the proposition, the onus is on them to prove it, and so Given that the Horace Guides have not made more than a few connections, and certainly not as many as I read out in my podcast from last week, I simply can't stand by the thesis, and I'm sorry. I was not exactly too rigorous on my part at all, and thank you so much for the people who were on the board who questioned this.
That having been said, if you have a look on the board and follow this thread, It's under the show.
On the board, they have specific radio show feedback with the numbers and the name of the podcast, and the debate was in there.
I've actually posted a link, which I think...
I mean, I'm not sort of trying to rescue the thesis unjustly, but I did spend a little bit of time looking for other ways of looking at this, and...
As it turns out, I mean, and again, this is an area in which it's not syllogistic and it requires a lot of research and, of course, knowledge of ancient languages and the ability to read the original texts.
Obviously, I don't have any of that.
So I put this forward tentatively to say that I posted a link to another website that claims to, and it does have links to, original texts, which, of course, I think is pretty valuable if you're trying to make this case.
And it says that the majority of the myths associated with Jesus is culled from a number of different mystery and ancient religions.
And so this person traces each one of the particular myths and where it came from.
And some come from Horus, and some come from Mithra, and some come from...
Some of the Indian Krishna, the Indian gods, and some come from other types of deities.
So the majority of what we know of as Jesus myths do come from, according to this site, and I think I have a little bit more belief in this site.
They do come from other religions, and so what I said about Horus being the direct translation is not the case, or at least it seems to be not the case, the debate still rages, but I would certainly not say it as confidently as I did before, but if you do a little bit of research or find this on the Free Domain radio boards,
then I... I think that you'll see that the myths come from other religions and it's not particularly unique to Christ, the stuff that you see in the Christ story.
So, sorry about that.
I will try to be more careful.
I was obviously...
I'd heard about this thing for years and years, so I thought it was a little bit more established.
And so, I'm sorry that I didn't dig into further...
The web is a dangerously tricky place for people with preconceived notions like myself.
So I will try to be more rigorous.
And, of course, any time that I trip up again, which is doubtless going to occur, you will get a correction, of course.
And thank you so much to those people who pointed out the error of my ways.
I appreciate that hugely.
The last thing I want to do, as I've said a million times, is to be in error.
That's sort of one thing. Another thing that I've had a request for some time off and on from people who say, dude, you're kind of an inconsistent poster when it comes to a podcast.
And I know that's the case. Generally, I'll podcast one or two and post one or two a day, but there are times when I don't and so on.
And so what I have set up is a FeedBlitz account wherein you can enter your email and you will get an email notification Of the podcasts that were produced, and you'll get this daily.
I'm not going to sign up for the fee to do it hourly unless I get a cavalcade of both requests and donations to cover the cost of doing that.
So I've set it up to do it daily.
There's quite a degree of additional cost to do it more often than that.
And again, if you want me to do it, just let me know.
Kick me some bucks and send me some requests, and if we get enough money, we'll do it.
I'd like you to do that myself.
I just really don't know how many listeners I have.
Am I talking to the 90-odd people on the board and the 30-odd guests that we sometimes get browsing, or is it more?
There's simply no way to tell.
So if you could sign up for that, I'd really appreciate it.
I think what it gives to you is, you know, you wake up, have your coffee in the morning, and your email will tell you what has been podcasted the previous day, and you can choose if you like it or don't like it.
You can forward the email on to other people.
If you feel that there's stuff that's been podcasted that would be of value to them, and last but not least, it would have me have some kind of sense how many people are out there listening to this.
So if you could do it, I appreciate it.
FeedBlitz will not send your email to everyone else, and I think they're pretty legit this way.
They're associated with FeedBurner, which I also use.
So, hopefully it's a win-win, and I think that it's worthwhile doing it.
To do it, just go to www.freedomainradio.com and click on the send me emails or whatever it is on the bottom left just under the menu.
There's a little yellow bar. Put your email in.
Click on submit. You'll get a confirmatory email.
Just so you know.
So it's not spam entered.
Just enter the verification characters and you're good to go.
And you can unsubscribe at any time.
But it would be nice for me, you know, to know how many living, breathing, fiery, magnificent brains out there I'm interacting with.
That would be excellent.
I'm sort of... You know, it's like being a comedian at a club, which is a big club, but the lights are shining in your face and there's not a lot of laughter.
So it could be completely full and you're not funny.
Or... It's not that full and you're very funny.
So I'm sort of trying to figure out how many people I'm reaching.
It would be helpful because I'd like to know, of course, if I end up having to do advertising.
Today was a donationless day, so hopefully we can fix that with me continuing to haggle and to offer goodies and to nag and so on.
If you could go and throw some bucks my way, if you're enjoying these podcasts, I would appreciate it.
Also, if you want to send me an email with suggestions for podcast 200, I think that would be excellent.
Some people have suggested that I compile all of my errs and ums and vocal ticks into one nine-hour marathon, but I'm really not sure that it would only be nine hours.
So that's on the back burner of ideas.
And, of course, it will have to be something that's in a car, I think.
I guess I could do...
I'm trying to figure out when that's going to be.
I think this is 198, so it actually would be We'll figure it out.
But if you have any great ideas for Podcast 200, that might be kind of cool.
I didn't, of course, I blew right past Podcast 100 without even noticing it because I wasn't numbering the podcasts at that time.
So let me know if you've got any good ideas.
I sort of thought that it might be fun to have a podcast which is entirely questions from listeners.
So if you have questions, fire them my way, and I could have an entire show devoted to you, the most important aspect of this interaction, without whom which there would be just a crazy guy talking to himself in a car.
So I really appreciate it that you make me look a lot more sane than I would otherwise look.
It's a nice thing, just for my own self-esteem.
So, thank you. And Christina thanks you as well, because she gets to hear about something other than philosophy, politics, economics, and psychology, because I bleed off the excess thoughts in the car, which is a good thing.
Very nice. Now, let's get to the communication with children.
Just in case you haven't noticed this slight pattern in what it is that I'm saying, most of what, if not all, most, I wouldn't figure out what the difference is, most of what I'm saying about children can be equally applied to adults.
Not just because most adults are emotionally sort of worse off than most children because they've had lots of time to calcify their mistakes and cement their corruption and in turn corrupt others.
So that has not left them with a non-rotting draw of mental fruit, let's say.
And so most people do not even have the emotional health of children, and they have done quite a lot to forget the bullying that they experienced or to pretend that it never happened, which children can't really do as easily because, well, they're right in the thick of it, so they really can't.
But also because I don't view children as...
Broken, bad, evil, selfish, nasty, manipulative adults who need to be bullied into the glowing mental health that we see in most of the adults around us.
I view children as naturally wonderful creatures that just need love, care, correction in a loving and positive way.
They need a positive and benevolent authority not to raise them.
Children will do a fine job of raising themselves, but to grow them.
I sort of use this analogy With a woman I went out with once, who was harsh, you know, who would sort of say harsh truths, you know, said that when you want a rose to grow, you water it.
If you pull it, you kill it.
I mean, if you just pull the rose and grow, grow up.
You just say you're uprooted and it dies.
I didn't want to create the circumstances for love, affection, and in children, obedience.
I have said before, and I will say again, that I will obey just about anything that Christina tells me to do with virtually no complaint, and except in very rare circumstances, no talkback.
Because she established her credibility with us, what you want to do.
So it's not a matter of obedience anymore than I obey the laws of the road.
I do that because I don't want to die.
So I don't get mad at the people who've come up with, say, lane dividers or medians.
I think that's a fairly decent idea.
So... That would be my approach.
Stuff that works with adults, works with kids, and vice versa.
And in fact, I think that you're going to have, when you take this stuff to heart and begin to apply it, you're going to have more satisfying interactions with kids than you have.
With most adults.
And we will get to, I mean, given that if you don't have kids, great.
Practice this stuff as much as you can with those who are in your life so that you can get the hang of it.
Because it's really tough. It's really tough.
And not because it's innately tough.
It's just because we've been so badly imprinted on, I guess, that it is tough to put into practice.
And, like, walking isn't tough unless your legs are completely asleep, in which case you've got to concentrate a little bit.
So, practice this stuff as much as possible, and tomorrow morning we will talk about how to reclaim the love of your children if you have maybe not exercised this stuff, assuming that you...
I mean, you think it's the right stuff to do.
I think it is, but obviously it's up to you.
But if you have not...
Done the right thing by your kids so far, then you have a mess on your hands which you need to clean up.
And I will talk in the morning a little bit about my humble opinions about how best to make it up with your children.
And that will be quite an exciting thing to talk about, of course.
It is a painful subject to talk about because the little glowing princes of light and princesses of light that you may have stained with your irrationalities and hostilities and harshness You are going to have to humble yourself a little bit before them in order to restore the relationship to a point where you can begin to gain their trust and become an authority that is benevolent rather than not so benevolent.
So we'll talk about that in the morning, but now let's talk about how we can communicate with the lovely little angels in ways that is going to be motivating and helpful for them.
Now, if you've spent any time around psychological circles or reading not overly cheesy self-help books, but some self-help sort of approaches, you may have well heard about the magic of the I feel statement.
So, when you're having a conflict with someone and you're angry with them, you say, I feel angry.
And that is something that is unshakable.
See, if you say, you were trying to do this, you're trying to do that, your motive is this, your motive is that, then you're really out on a pretty shaky limb.
Because you don't know. I mean, the other person can say, that wasn't my intention at all.
And then you're stuck in the sort of silly and emotionally escalating in terms of tension and frustration position of trying to tell someone that you know what they were doing and they don't.
I mean, it's not something you're going to have a whole lot of luck with.
I can tell someone, like when I was saying to Christina at times, I could feel upset, I feel zinged.
I wasn't telling her that I knew why she was doing it, I was just saying that I did feel this way, and we need to sort of figure out why.
Because if you're in the situation where you're telling someone, no, you're wrong, it's like this, with you, then you're obviously kind of crazy, right?
I know, because I've been there more times than I would care to recount.
But only when I was younger, i.e.
33. So, it was quite a long time ago, really.
So, you don't want to be in that position at all of telling someone that you know what they're feeling and you know what they're experiencing and you know why they did what they did and so on.
Because it's obviously not empirical and they can just tell you that you're wrong.
So, what you can't have discounted within you is your own feelings.
I mean, you can, but then that other person is in that impossible situation of telling you what you feel.
So if somebody makes me angry, then I can say, I really feel angry about this.
Now, that's not something that they need to fix.
That's not something that is an attack upon them.
You're saying, I feel angry.
And the person can't tell you that you don't feel angry.
I mean, they can, but it's like someone telling me that I'm not bald-ish.
It's just not true, right?
So if I say to you, like, you do something that makes me angry, and I say to you, you know, that really makes me angry.
What can you say to me?
Well, you can say sorry or whatever.
Not that that helps, right? Because we need to sort of figure out what's going on.
If we have a relationship, I assume that you're not in that relationship to try and make me feel angry.
Because if you are, we'll just not have a relationship, right?
Because I don't want that in my life.
And so I say, you can say, oh, I'm sorry.
I won't do it again. But that doesn't really help that much.
Because if you were in control of doing it in the first place, you wouldn't have done it, right?
So you have to sort of dig in deeper and find out what the real issues are.
Now, you can also try and tell me, there's no reason to feel angry.
Right? You've no cause to feel angry.
It's like, well, I didn't say that I had a cause to feel angry.
I simply said that I felt angry.
I didn't say that my anger was justified, or right, or is a demand for you to change, or anything like that.
Like, strip away all of the narrative that you have about that statement I feel angry.
And what does it mean?
It means I feel angry.
It doesn't mean anything to do with you.
It doesn't mean that you're bad or wrong, you're bullying me or this or that or whatever, right?
And so if I say to you, I feel angry, and you say to me, well, there's no reason for you to feel angry.
It's like, well, that may or may not be the case, but I'm just telling you that I feel angry.
And those are the facts of the situation.
Now, we can deal with the facts of the situation.
You can say, well, I don't care that you're angry.
It's like, well, that's fine.
If you don't care that I'm angry about something, then we don't really have a relationship, and we can start to arrange it this way or that way.
But of course, the paradox is, the argument from universals or the argument from morality in that case would be, well, if you don't care that I'm angry, then I don't care that you don't care, so I'm going to keep talking about it.
If you want to sort of work it that way, it doesn't really solve the problem.
So, when I would say to Christina, I feel hurt or I feel angry about something, then we would explore it.
Now, she could say, if she was sort of an evil woman, which she's the opposite of, she could try and diminish it or try and tell me that, oh, you're not angry at me, you're angry at your mom.
Like, well, I mean, I guess that could be the case, but the first thing that we need to accept is that I'm angry in the current situation and that something that you did and the way that I interpret it made me angry and that's sort of what we need to deal with.
And something that you did might have directly caused my anger, like you purposefully dropped something on my toe, or it may have unjustly caused my anger, like you used a phrase that my mother used to use and you don't know it, and so whatever, right?
But the first thing that you say, where you plant your flag in these kinds of discussions, and this is all relevant to children too, right?
Where you plant your flag is in the truth which cannot be denied, which cannot be talked away...
Or diminished or erased or anything like that.
I feel angry. Well, why do you feel angry?
Well, I don't know. Let's talk about what you did.
Let's talk about what I feel.
We'll figure it out. But the first thing you need to do is plant your flag in solid ground.
You want to build your house of discussion on rock and not on sand.
Which means that you talk only about the knowledge that you have.
You talk only about the truth.
You speak the truth. Everything I do comes down to that.
Just tell the truth. And the way that you tell the truth, I'm angry.
And people can say whatever they want, but you can always come back to that.
Yes, but the fact is that I'm angry.
So the I am, I feel, these are all very important things to understand when it comes to discussing anything with anyone around, you know, more important stuff than is it raining outside or what's the directions to Torquia or something.
So, with your children, if they do something that makes you angry, then you say to them, I feel angry.
Now, you can start to say because, but it's usually, unless you absolutely know, like I feel angry because you dropped that brick on my foot after I asked you not to.
If you don't know, then you say, I feel angry and I think it's because of this.
I think it's because of this, that, or the other.
So let's say that you say to your kid, we're going to go to the toy store, and unfortunately, our house is on fire, so we only have five minutes.
I did promise I was going to take you, but I can just see in the distance that our house is on fire, so let's just keep it at five minutes, and you can't buy anything because we're flat broke.
If you want to go, you want to...
And then you have that discussion, and then your kid just ends up grabbing stuff and screaming, and you get stuck there for 20 minutes, and your house burns down, thus rendering you even more broke.
And then you have to get a job in the toy store because you have no place to live.
And so your kid actually wins out.
So that could be an advantageous strategy for him or her.
But if your kid then sort of breaks that agreement and sort of tantrums this or whatever, right?
Then you say, you know, I feel angry because I feel that we had a deal.
Like I remember we had a deal and I feel angry because you unilaterally, you just change the deal on your own terms or whatever.
You can use age-appropriate language or whatever.
And what's the kid going to say?
Well, I thought you meant this, or I thought you meant that.
And then you sort of stay with the facts.
You stay with the facts, right? So, if you say, I feel angry because we had a deal five minutes, and you took 15 minutes, and you didn't tell me, and we didn't renegotiate or anything, so...
And then, oh, I thought you said 15 minutes.
Right? That is where you might get to with children, and also not just with children, but with other people as well.
Now... That is going to be a pretty tough thing to argue against on a one-time thing.
If it hasn't happened a hundred times, then it could just be a misunderstanding.
But I would say, if a kid said that to me, then I would say, okay, I certainly recognize that it's possible that you misheard me saying five and got 15.
It's not likely to me because your ears have been checked out and they're in pretty good shape.
And also the thing that also would make me just a little suspicious, you know, I'm not saying it's the case, but I say this is what I sort of feel.
I feel a certain amount of suspicion that you would have interpreted something To mean something else to your advantage.
That's sort of important.
If you say 15 minutes and then the kid comes up to you at the end of 5 minutes and says, Okay, I'm ready to go.
And you say, Why? And you say, Oh, I thought you said 5 minutes.
Then obviously the kid is misunderstood or whatever, right?
Or they want to go. Who knows, right?
But it's not an issue. Unless you want to stay for 15 minutes, in which case you renegotiate.
But if the kid misinterprets something that was plainly spoken in front of them to their own advantage, then you say, well, you know, I got to tell you, I feel that there's something fishy about that.
I feel like there's something not right in this.
Like I sort of basically feel like you're kind of fudging stuff.
I'm not saying you are, but I feel that way.
Because you are misinterpreting something which was spoken, you know, if we spoke it in a thunderstorm, then I could understand maybe you'd misheard it, but we were in a car in the parking lot with the radio not playing, we were looking into each other's eyes, and I said five, and held up five in my hand, like my five digits, and you said five, and so now when you say 15, it seems to me like it feels like you're just kind of making stuff up, and I understand that, I mean, you know, you kind of did something, if you did remember five, you kind of did something wrong here, I think.
And so I understand that you'd want to cover that up, but I've got to tell you, that's not the way to do it, right?
That's not the way that we want to interact with each other.
It's to just say, oh, I didn't understand something that was clearly explained to me and I said that I did understand, right?
And so you can talk about that and you might want to cut the kid a slack if it's the first time or second time, but if it's like the third time in a row where they've misinterpreted, I just say, look, I'm sorry.
I don't believe I've got to get it for you in writing or, you know, we're just going to have to find some other way of doing it or you're going to have to not go with me to the toy store for a while.
Because I tell you, I don't feel good when you keep misinterpreting everything or claiming that it's a misinterpretation and it's always to your advantage and always ends up with me getting the short end of the stick.
That doesn't feel good for me, right?
You sort of make that appeal to the child's self-interest based on your accurate feelings.
I feel bad about taking you to the store.
I said, you want me to want to take you to the store.
I want to have fun with you.
I want to take you to the store if you're going to have fun there.
But you also want me to enjoy.
I don't live a life of obligation because I've listened to Podcast 183, and so I don't feel any obligation whatsoever to take you to the toy store.
I mean, I feel an obligation to feed you and clothe you or whatever.
I don't feel any obligation to take you to the toy store because I live a life of freedom, and you don't enslave me any more than anyone else does.
And so, if every time we go to the toy store, there's nothing but a huge problem because every time I say this, you get that, and then...
I just don't want to, you know, I don't want to take you to the toy store.
And that's not something that I think you want, right?
You want to go to the toy store. I assume you do because you're saying that you want 15 minutes when we've agreed on five.
So I just don't feel motivated.
I've got to be honest with you.
I'm honest with you about my feelings.
If we keep having these problems when I take you to the toy store, I don't want to go to the toy store.
Like, that's a fact that you have to deal with.
And you can't make me want...
To take you to the toy store.
I mean, you can have tantrums. It's just going to make it less likely that I'm going to want it.
Like we get into this death spiral, right?
As parent-child, right? If you're like, well, I want to go to the toy store.
You know, then I even less want to take you to the toy store.
So there's just no way to change my feelings other than by appealing to good things, right?
So if we go to the toy store and we say five minutes and we have five minutes and we have a great time and then we leave, great.
I want to do it again. But if we go to the toy store and there's this big meltdown every time we go because you constantly want an hour, when I say half an hour or whatever, then I just don't want to take you.
Those are the feelings that you have to deal with.
And if you start to get even more unpleasant about going to the toy store and more demanding, then I'm going to want to do it even less.
I mean, you don't like it when I tell you what to do, and I don't stomp and scream and tell you what to do.
I sort of try and appeal to what's going to be fun for you, fun for me, it's going to be healthy for you, healthy for me, growth, whatever, some fun.
So I'm not jumping up and down and storming and telling you, you wouldn't like it if I did that.
And if you imitate kids in a way that's sort of nice and fun, not sort of like mean, then they actually can laugh at themselves and say, you can sort of jump up and down and say, do you feel like you want to do this with me?
I mean, if this is what I say, then I want to go to the art museum, which the kid may hate, right?
Does that make you feel like, yay?
I really do want to go to the art museum.
I didn't realize it until I saw you crying and screaming until like how wonderful it could be.
And so the I feel statements and the pure honesty, just the pure honesty, really try and avoid, avoid, avoid interpretation.
Avoid storytelling about what is going on.
Stick with what you feel because that's honest.
That's truthful. You know, so a sort of silly example, right?
I mean, maybe over-exaggerated, right?
So if you say to the kid who says, oh, I thought you meant 15 minutes when you said five, say, you're always doing that.
You're always manipulating me.
You're always, you know, I said five.
I meant five. You looked at me.
You said five. You're just trying to mess with me.
You're trying to do this. That's all stories, right?
What do you feel? I feel hurt.
I feel frustrated. I feel manipulated.
Those are all things that you feel, and those things are things which you can legitimately talk about.
If you say to someone, and that means that you're this, or you're that, or you're trying to do this, or you're trying to do that, or you're a good kid, or a bad kid, or a good husband, or a bad wife, or if you start layering on all of these judgments and stories about it, then you're speaking enormously illegitimately.
You're theorizing about what color the seas on Pluto are, because you just don't have any direct evidence of that.
I mean, unless you've had a whole series of these, right?
And then, you see, once you've had a whole series of these, that's because you haven't dealt with it before, right?
So let's say that you let your kid get away with this whole issue of 5 minutes means 15 minutes.
You let them get away with it 10 times.
You can't come down to them like a ton of bricks because you've trained them, or you've trained them to do that.
I mean, the same way that you train everyone.
If you want to sort of figure out how people show up in your relationships with them, you figure out what you've trained them to do.
I mean, you've trained them either by choosing people, if everyone around you is dishonest, whatever, right?
Then you've obviously chosen dishonest people, and then you've trained them to be dishonest by not giving them any consequences, not calling them on it, not getting them out of their...
You know, everyone in your life shows up the way that you train them to, right?
I mean, that's sort of...
It's not narcissistic, it's just a basic fact.
It doesn't mean that you can change people, but it means that you definitely train people.
And we know this. I mean, we know this as economists, right?
Because in capitalism, people do X because there's incentive and positive and negative and so on.
And in socialism and communism, they do non-X because there's no motive, no incentive, whatever, right?
We know this for a fact that people will change their behavior based on positive and negative cost-benefit and so on.
And so people who show up in our lives like they're lying or they're betraying or they're cheating on us or whatever, then that's what we train them to do.
We chose them to do that and we train them to do it through a lack of consequences.
So what you can say is if this ends up with you and your kid, right?
You trained them to say 15 minutes when you said 5, then of course what you can say to them is, you know what?
I have just realized that I've just done a really terrible thing.
And I've really let you get away with this.
Yeah, you shouldn't have been doing it, but I'm sort of the parent here, right?
I've really let you get away with this.
And it's really bad.
And I did that because I didn't want to make you upset.
And now the worst thing is that I'm upset, you're upset, and we've got a problem to fix.
And so that is not where we want to end up.
And so you can talk honestly about your own feelings of frustration and self-recrimination at having let this occur.
And so that is something that you can absolutely deal with openly and honestly.
But in terms of communicating for this, the I feel statements where you're just speaking honestly about your own emotional experience, your own feelings and your own thoughts, that's a space for the other person to enter.
That's a space for them to come into.
To enter into the conversation.
Because if you tell someone else, you're feeling this, you're feeling that, you're doing this, you're doing that, you're a good guy, you're a bad guy, you're this, you're...
You always, you never...
All you're doing is you're invading their own experience of the conversation, completely displacing them, just shoving them aside, like a really bad and illegitimate basketball player, just elbowing and pushing everyone aside.
And you don't invite people then to participate in a conversation with you.
All that you end up doing is shoving them aside, putting your own interpretations and stories in, and they don't want to participate with you then, right?
They don't want to go to the toy store with you, the toy store of conversations.
So don't do that. Just stick with what you feel, stick with what you experience, and that allows the other person to talk about what they feel and what they experience, and you can find stuff in common and work to solve the problems that way.
So I would say stick with the I feel.
Stick with what you can legitimately and honestly talk about, and that will be the way to do things.
So, I hope you're doing well.
Please come and donate if you find this stuff worthwhile.
It makes me very enthusiastic to keep doing it.
It will make the shows better, and it will make your life better, I think, if this stuff is of use to you, and the better I can communicate it, the better and more quickly you can put it into practice, if you aren't already and don't already know this stuff.
So, please come by and throw a couple of bucks my way.
I'm sure you will get more than your money's worth back in better quality podcasts, and more of them.
And so... Thanks, Emil.
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