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Oct. 5, 2021 - Skeptoid
12:47
Skeptoid #800: To the Stars

A strange radio broadcast from a very unique group of VIPs being whisked away on a UFO. Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Music From A Spaceship 00:10:11
Once again, it is a hundredth episode of Skeptoid, this one being number 800.
And longtime fans know what that means.
It's a musical episode.
But today's is a little bit different in that it may be the first piece of music you've ever heard that was not produced on Earth.
Today, with special cooperation from our friends at NASA, we're bringing you a Skeptoid song from a spaceship.
One that is, even as we speak, rapidly accelerating away from this planet.
That's today on Skeptoid.
A quick reminder for everyone, you're listening to Skeptoid, revealing the true science and true history behind urban legends every week since 2006.
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You're listening to Skeptoid.
I'm Brian Dunning from Skeptoid.com.
To the stars.
We have some breaking news to report.
I'm sure you've all heard that what appears to have been an alien flying saucer spent several days landed on the U.S. Capitol lawn.
Today, that craft seems to have taken off.
When news crews arrived this morning, it was nowhere to be found, only three shallow depressions in the ground from its footpads.
The question everyone has been asking is, where did it go?
Today we have that answer.
Reports are that within the span of only a few minutes, the craft dashed around the nation, visiting several U.S. cities.
According to military radar, it then flew straight up, left our atmosphere, and has for the past few hours been on a direct vector toward the star Zeta Reticuli.
But even that's not the very latest news.
NASA is currently giving a press briefing, and we've just had an incredible report that we are actually receiving a radio transmission from that spaceship.
Let's listen in.
A very famous astronomer is in fact confirming that for us right now.
I am a famous astronomer, and I can confirm that this radio signal is coming from an alien spaceship.
I'm sorry, we have to break away from that, as there's a new report just in from some of those cities the spaceship visited before leaving Earth.
It appears that at least five people have been abducted and taken away.
We're now getting the identities of the abductees.
And oh my goodness, running my eye down the list, it appears that they include many prominent members of the UFO community.
Now we're cutting back to the press briefing where they've just announced they're now going to play the audio from that radio transmission.
Let's listen in.
Man, this is some kind of wild trip.
That sounded like Tom DeLong, the former guitarist of Blink 182 who became a UFO conspiracy theorist and founded To the Stars Academy to produce comic books, music, and TV shows promoting his belief in alien visitation.
Oh, and I think we're hearing someone else.
Oh, I didn't think a Tic Tac had this much room inside.
That, I believe, was Luis Elizondo, who worked for a time for billionaire Robert Bigelow, promoting three Navy UFO videos, but describes it to the press as having worked for a secret Pentagon UFO program.
Are there seatbelts in this thing?
That sounds like Leslie Keene, longtime author and promoter of Alien Visitation and the Afterlife, who co-authored the famous New York Times article with her colleagues to promote Bigelow and Elizondo's claim of a Pentagon UFO program in an apparent effort to make belief in aliens more mainstream.
Notably, Keene and Elizondo are reportedly the main characters in a new dramatization of their life story on HBO, which will, no doubt, portray them as courageous whistleblowers who, quote, uncover the government's covert UFO program.
Apparently, this craft uses a gravity drive system, so without inertia, we shouldn't need any seatbelts.
And that must have been Hal Putoff, a parapsychologist best known as the lead researcher looking for ghosts and interdimensional beings at Bigelow's Skinwalker Ranch.
Yes, the one from TV.
And I think we're hearing one more voice coming through.
Write down the specs, Hal.
I'll call up Harry Reed and have the Air Force build us one just like it.
I recognize the voice.
That was the big man himself, Robert Bigelow, the bankroll behind this whole group and their decades-long quest to persuade the public that UFOs are not only real, but are also the same interdimensional phenomenon as poltergeists.
And now I think we're getting something else.
It sounds like, could that be a concertina?
If I'm hearing this right, it sounds like these accidental shipmates might be starting to sing a sea shanty.
Oh, how awful.
The poor deers must be out of their minds with fear.
My name is Tom, and I am the Habom, and I'm also a space out bro.
I quits my band just to understand what they don't want us to know.
It's that aliens live among us now, you can bet Tiger.
So I'm fighting back with my website called To the Stars Ahokahami.
To the stars we go on this UFO to a galaxy brightly aglobe.
They're taking us to space to alien base.
To the stars on a UFO.
They call me Lou and I'm in the news cause I worked at the Pentagon.
Or so I say, it's kind of vague, but over me the networks fawn.
I am known for three UFO videos.
They're debunked, but that's only a snag.
Just don't double check, cause my story's a wreck.
If my lips move, it's a red flag.
To the stars we go on this UFO, to a galaxy brightly aglobe.
They're taking us to space to alien base.
To the stars on a UFO.
I'm Leslie Keene.
I'm a writing machine.
Got my story in the New York Times.
Now the whole world knows about Lou's videos.
And you'll see us on Amazon Prime.
I have written a book about the afterlife and some more about UFOs.
Cause it's all real, as I'll reveal in a movie on HBO.
To the stars we go on this UFO to a galaxy brightly aglow.
They're taking us to space to their alien base.
To the stars on a UFO.
My name is Hal, and I'm your pal.
If you claim to be a psychokinetic, I'll believe whatever, and I'm yours forever.
If you say you're electromagnetic, bring on aliens, poltergeists, ghosts, and greys, for my mind is open so wide.
I'll write a paper to prove them all.
My degree makes them bona fide.
To the stars we go on this UFO to a galaxy brightly aglo.
They're taking us to space to an alien base.
To the stars on a UFO.
I'm big alo, spending lots of dough, like a kid in a candy store.
At my skinwalker ranch, I give carte blanche to find aliens, demons, and more.
Then I got my hands on some federal funds, paid my guys to find UFOs.
My latest search is the afterlife, coming soon now, I suppose.
To the stars, we are this UFO, to a galaxy brightly aglo.
They're taking us to space to their alien base.
To the stars on a UFO.
It sounds like we're losing the signal.
Yes, the NASA spokesperson has just announced that the spaceship is no longer transmitting.
Well, that was certainly something you don't hear every day.
Feeding The Rational Trolls 00:02:32
But if we heard it a little more often, the world might get slightly more rational each time.
But that's not where we are now.
The newspapers and cable channels continue to produce fictional crack pottery in order to garner more clicks and eyeballs under the guise of honest reporting.
And they will continue to do so as long as we all keep clicking and watching.
Clicking the clickbait is still just another way of feeding the trolls, interdimensional though they may be.
But some trolls that we should always feed are Skeptoid's premium members, like Sean Gill, Paolo Ripamonte, Big G, and Billy T. Let me give you a shout out too.
It's easy.
Just log into the members portal at skeptoid.com and click shout outs and stories to tell me what you want me to say.
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I'm Brian Dunning from Skeptoid.com.
Hello, everyone.
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Remember that skepticism is the best medicine.
Next to giggling, of course.
Until next time, this is Adrienne Hill.
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