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Aug. 10, 2023 - Stay Free - Russel Brand

01:18:23

SCAN YOUR EYEBALLS! - Dystopian New Government-Backed Crypto Is Coming For You! - Stay Free #187

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	I am showing 30 frames due to time constraints and not just renconters.
	I am showing 30 frames due to time constraints and not just renconters.
	In this video, you're going to see the future.
	Hello there, you awakening wonders.
	Fear not, for God is real and you live in but a fragment of reality.
	That is what we are awakening to, the sensory illusion of completeness provided through the instruments of the senses and the great power that lurks within you.
	Probably down by your belly button or your groin, somewhere like that.
	If you're watching us on YouTube, the first 15 minutes will be available before we slip off into our sweet home, Rumble, where we're free to speak openly and plainly, to bring people together in a glorious celebration of love.
	Not like in the dystopian future that your overlords are planning for you even now, where a chrome ball will float into the centre of your vision.
	Scan you up and down the iris in exchange for a crypto token.
	Is that what you call life?
	I don't know.
	Would you, my on-screen assistant and ally, Gareth Roy?
	I'd probably end up doing it.
	You'd do it, wouldn't you?
	I probably would.
	Because I remember last time round, you scuttled off to them outdoor tents so enthusiastically, you couldn't get there fast enough.
	I believed them!
	They lied to us!
	But you knew all along, didn't you?
	And when we're exclusively on Rumble, that's one of the things we'll be talking about because new data has revealed from Squatland, that's how they talk up there, that we were told many a lockdown lie.
	I am.
	Here's the news.
	We'll be telling you yet more about the UFO hearings.
	Has it all been a distraction, as you long suspected?
	Or was it simply a way to ratchet up budgets?
	I bet it was.
	First though, Elon Musk reckons he's going to pay the legal fees of anyone who asks him.
	Although, as long as it pertains to a free speech issue or where they post it on.
	Are we going to call it X?
	We're going to have to call it X. What do you mean?
	Aren't you going to keep calling it Twitter?
	What do you do when you do an X?
	Tweet.
	You can't just change that.
	I'm used to it now.
	Yeah.
	I'm used to it.
	X-ting.
	X-ting.
	I don't know.
	That's not bad.
	Is that what you're supposed to say?
	Let us know in the comments.
	Are we supposed to say we're X-ting each other?
	We're going to just change that now?
	Oh, I miss that little blue bird.
	He's white on a blue background, but I miss him all the same.
	Don't you?
	I don't know.
	Do you?
	Does it matter?
	What did he represent, Ross?
	He represented the FBI intruding into your private affairs.
	He represented the Hunter Biden laptop being kept out of the news even though they knew it was true.
	He represented mind management, that our attention now has become a commodity, that knowledge, that awareness itself is regarded as little more than a resource by the powerful elites that would herd you into paddocks of ignorance where we would liberate you into the great pastures and plains of sweet lady freedom.
	Would we?
	I think that's what we're trying to do.
	So Elon Musk says if you're punished by an employer, let us know if you've been punished by an employer, you could be in line for a Community Action Trust reward.
	That's not my words, that's Crime Watch, a British show from the 1980s.
	No, of course you haven't.
	It does sound like one of those adverts though, doesn't it?
	That if you were unfairly treated by an employer because of this... Were you injured at work?
	I was injured at work, actually.
	That sort of thing's always happening to me.
	But he says he'll fund the legal bill of anyone who was unfairly treated.
	He can't even run his own company, can he, anymore?
	They've had to sack 80% of the team.
	How's he going to pay for all these legal bills?
	I guess in that category, you would have to put Donald Trump there.
	Is it pro bono?
	Is it no win, no fee?
	How are they going to do it?
	What, he's going to have to pay for Trump's?
	What I'm saying is, if Trump literally said to him, pay my legal fees because of a tweet, it's kind of an X I did.
	But no, he's going to be because of his truth socials.
	Yes.
	Are you on truth social?
	No.
	Do you go on truth social?
	I don't.
	It's not as catchy as Twitter.
	It's not, is it?
	No.
	As X?
	X.
	Also, though, there's a new world coin out now.
	Do you remember when cryptocurrencies were bad?
	Well, that was when the government couldn't control them and use them to capture data that they suck straight out of your eyeballs.
	Before you know it, your eye will be bouncing on your cheekbone, your optic nerve hanging like a suspender belt, while all of your information is sucked out of your cerebellum.
	Is that what you want?
	Because that's what's going to happen.
	Let's have a look at these new eyehole-sucking chrome balls and ask yourself, Do they put conspiracy theories out there that are so outlandish that when the truth actually happens, you're like, oh, this is not as bad.
	For example, and I know some of you lot are out there.
	I know you are, because we read your comments.
	We read your crazy comments, you beauties.
	If you're watching this on Rumble, click the red button now and join us on Locals.
	But you know when people say stuff like nanotechnology in particular medications, right?
	And you think, oh, come on, that's going to be expensive to do that at scale.
	You think that's too crazy.
	But well, where we are now is a chrome bull is going to suck information out of your Out of like what people in prison would call your extra orifice.
	One of your upstairs empty ports.
	And they're going to suck all of the information out of there and give it to the government.
	Doesn't seem right, does it?
	Doesn't.
	Let's have a look.
	This silver sphere, now the subject of privacy concerns across the world.
	An eyeball scanning machine promising to prove just how human a person can be in the fact- Just how human a person can be?
	That's- You're already as human as- You can't be more human than you are, can you?
	No.
	I mean, what do you, like, you... Because human just means you are a biological entity born of another human, doesn't it?
	Yep.
	Like, you can't be more of that because of a chrome ball says so.
	No, well, this is apparently all in aid of proving that you're human online and that you're not a bot.
	So we've created... Instead of having to do that zebra crossing.
	Right.
	I hate having to do that zebra crossing.
	How many motorbikes are in... What about this, them letters?
	It's so confusing.
	And it's an A and a 4.
	Oh, I don't know!
	Is that an A or is it a 4?
	Can you help me, Chrome Disk?
	I can help you, but it's going to cost you your freedom.
	Now open up your eyehole.
	I said eyehole!
	Sorry, I thought I'd take a chance.
	So this is going to... it's to make sure that online we're as people as we say we are.
	Right.
	But, you know, so we've created this internet space that basically was meant to be this place of freedom.
	Freedom.
	Freedom of speech, freedom of expression, all these things.
	Hold on.
	Hey, my button disk!
	Button disk's not on!
	It's freedom button.
	Allegedly.
	Freedom.
	George Michael, did he die in vain?
	Did he... Oh, right.
	There you go.
	Yeah, go on.
	The internet was meant about freedom, you were saying.
	Yeah, you know, it was meant to be about that.
	Then it got to a place where it was all about commerce.
	Then it was a place where, you know, there's all these bots everywhere.
	And now we have to prove to the internet that we're human enough to be there.
	It sounds... It's mad.
	Hey, I don't like that, Gareth!
	And the only way we can do that is by giving away all our data to the government.
	Prove to me that you are a human!
	Let me look down your eye hole!
	But you're a robot!
	What kind of society are we living in where a robot can come up to me in the street and ask me how human I am when it itself is just an uprooted headlight floating in space?
	You know in the latter Star Wars movies where R2-D2 instead became that sort of two balls rolling around guy?
	I didn't like him.
	I didn't like him as well because it was clear they went oh look it's a bit like r2d2 but not as good or cute or anything and can't have a small person in there operating it's just a couple of magno balls even though the toy version of it was quite bba i'm being told uh like the toy version of it was quite good right but you know you could have a remote control one maybe And you can't have a remote control R2-D2.
	Too difficult.
	Because he's just gonna have wheels underneath him, he's not gonna be able to go anywhere.
	C-3PO, there's a lot of tension between those guys.
	Anyhow, like, what I will say is this guy is just an advance on that.
	And instead of helping out once in a while like R2-D2 did, conveying perhaps Princess Leia's ransom message, saying that, you know, Luke's her only hope, what's this guy doing?
	Just sucking information out of your eye hole with his mind?
	Disgusting.
	But in exchange you do get $50.
	Like, if someone says, can I suck information out of your eye hole for $50, you know what you've become?
	You've gone on the game.
	You've inadvertently brassed yourself.
	You've brassed yourself off out the eye hole.
	And for what?
	Because of that lad who's called Sam Altman or whatever.
	These new billionaires that we're all having to get used to.
	That's right.
	Like, he's really important now.
	Like, billionaires, they used to just be, like, in a top hat, maybe in a Monopoly box, not causing too much trouble.
	Now they want to tell you everything they think, don't they?
	Why don't you go and live on Mars?
	Oh, this is the way to solve all the problems.
	Why don't you reorganise agriculture?
	Yeah, well, I mean, if Elon Musk is to believe, trapped GPT and open AI is going to eliminate a section of society when it comes to jobs.
	And now, the other, his other new invention, this, you know, whatever you're going to call it, this orb is going to give all your information to the government.
	So, it doesn't seem like all that positive.
	To undermine it, I'm going to call it Roy Orbison, and I'm going to demand that it joins the band Travelling Wilbur East.
	Late career Roy Orbison.
	Let's see what else it's offering, this new chrome eye sucker.
	growing world of artificial intelligence It's called the world coin orb and it's the latest passion
	project by the founder of chat GPT Why you think it's funny that today's passion passion for
	giving away your day?
	I'm really passionate about sucking information out of people's eyes giving it to the government and then we're in
	charge kind of Yes, it's a world of authenticity that works like this
	Start it's a world of authenticity authenticity. Yes.
	That's not the news.
	It's a world of authenticity.
	It's not.
	It's a chrome ball sucking information out of your eye hole, giving it to the government and giving you 50 space bucks in exchange, but now it's tracking you and it'll be able to switch off your bank account down the line.
	There couldn't be anything less authentic than what your relationship with the government is meant to be, other than a giant metallic orb that sucks all your data out of it and gives it to them.
	When I think of authenticity, immediately one thing comes to mind.
	It's not sovereignty, it's not personal freedom, it's not communities rising up together to support one another in harmony with nature.
	It's this miracle sucking information out from under your eyebrow.
	Cheeky theme tune it's got, like it's Mario Brothers.
	Or right on the app.
	What this commercial fails to mention is the biometric data that is then collected in exchange for a... Yeah, also we'll be taking your biometric data.
	We're getting that.
	I didn't forget!
	That was a deliberate omission.
	Should we include the bit where we steal all their data?
	Well, that actually undermines the entire project.
	No, you're right.
	And I'm passionate about this project!
	Passion!
	Digital ID.
	Some of those orbs found in Nairobi, Kenya, where authorities are now scrambling to suspend operations, saying there are too many unknowns.
	Too many unknowns!
	They're scrambling!
	This is extraordinary because if you think of the grammar of news that people that grew up in the 80s are used to, like these are sort of stories of philanthropy in the continent of Africa, measures undertaken to apparently intervene benignly in civil wars or to help in famines.
	Now, data People in Kenya queuing up to receive food tokens, tokens at any rate, in exchange for their data so that this scheme can be piloted so they can bring it to apparently more, you know, apparently more, I don't want to say evolved, but technologically advanced, I suppose appropriate term, societies.
	They're piloting this so they can do it to all of us.
	Absolutely right.
	And we all know about Facebook in terms of the colonization of the internet over there.
	You know, Facebook made sure that all the phones in huge portions of Africa... And Malaysia, I think, as well.
	We do a lot of research.
	A lot.
	...were fitted with... Facebook was your access to the web, to the internet, and it's a new form of colonization, isn't it?
	It's so weird, the sort of bargains we're having to make with technology now.
	If you want to go on the internet, you have to sign up for Facebook.
	If you want to eat some food, you need to let this little R2-D2...
	suck data out of your eye hole.
	Last week, more than 350,000 Kenyans have already gotten their eyes scanned here.
	It doesn't look right because they initially chose a shot of some Kenyan folk looking quite upbeat.
	You know, like, oh, this is good, we're near the front.
	Now, though, the Kenyan people, some look a little bit more dispirited,
	like they're queuing up for like a One Direction concert.
	You have to stay out in the rain for ages to be the first in line to get an iPhone 13.
	But really, this is the, I would say, an exploitative measure,
	where people that to some degree are desperate and willing to queue up
	to queue up are having their data stolen and experimented with so they
	are having their data stolen and experimented with so they can iron out.
	can iron out.
	How do we, what are our comms around this?
	What are our comms around this? How do we say this isn't an invasion into your privacy?
	How do we say this isn't an invasion into your privacy?
	Yeah, I mean, when we talk about dystopia, you look at the, you know, Hollywood movies
	Yeah, I mean, when we talk about dystopia, you look at the, you know, Hollywood movies
	and where it's like, they literally create two-tier where people that to some degree are desperate and willing
	and where it's like, they literally create two-tier societies where you've got one
	race or portion of the human race that has access to certain things and one that,
	you know, is living it up and that's what we're moving towards, isn't it?
	Yeah, it seems like it. Like, Alfon, do you notice this, guys? You're watching the news
	and you can see the building blocks of dystopia. You can feel your passage. You can feel that
	you're being midwifed into dystopia now. They have to make it sound sort of cordial and friendly.
	This is fantastic!
	But ultimately, it's hell, isn't it?
	Hey, listen, if you're watching this on YouTube, we're going to depart now because there's yet more dystopic revelations to convey, this time concerning your precipitations and your foresight around the Covid lockdowns.
	The Scottish of all people, those pioneers in the world of finance, caber tossing, haggis and golf, have finally revealed to us that lockdowns may have been... Allegedly!
	Not everything that was claimed.
	If you're watching this on YouTube, click the link in your description right now and join us on Rumble.
	If you're watching this on Rumble, press that red button right now.
	Become a member of our community.
	You get first access to important interviews like the conversation that we had with Jordan Peterson yesterday.
	It got very heavy with me and JP, Gal.
	Well, of course it did.
	Because there was one bit where what he said is that sex itself evolved, i.e.
	the... No, how did it get on to sex?
	I thought we were meant to be talking about politics.
	I'll tell you how, because straight away he came on and I went, swiss woo.
	Looking good, JP.
	And he sort of, he was wearing a leather harlequin suit.
	I see.
	And a wooden tie.
	And I made... Wooden?
	Yeah, a wooden tie, Gail.
	You got a problem with that?
	What?
	He got a wooden tie, a tie made out of wood, and that enabled me to make some pretty good Pinocchio jokes.
	Oh, I see.
	Because you know that he talks about Pinocchio.
	Right.
	Course he does.
	What, you're not surprised by that?
	No, not remotely.
	What, you're not even going to comment on that he talks about Pinocchio?
	What's his theory on Pinocchio?
	Pinocchio?
	Whoop!
	You know, Pinocchio.
	Now, the Pinocchio is a classic archetypal tale, isn't it?
	Oh yeah.
	Plucky little lad, books on his back, apple for the teacher, sees a cat and a fox on his way to school.
	Wait a minute, he's joined a marionette band of theatrical pirates.
	All of a sudden, he's living an illusory life.
	In order to become real, you have to suffer.
	In order to rescue the father from the belly of the beast, the father, the man that you will become when you liberate yourself from the artificial puppet person that you initially are, you have to wrestle with the beast down in depth, same as Jonah.
	Anyway... Sounds a lot like the plot to my bookie book.
	Available now.
	Plucky little lad, he followed a cat, well it's a sort of a word for cat, and he got way off track as a result of that.
	There was lots of that going on.
	Hey diddly dee, an actor's life for me!
	Those were the days, simpler times in a way.
	So obviously me and JP started flirting and one of the things that got said was that sex itself was not, like the procreation prior to sex was done by sort of, I don't know, like amoeba or something splitting up or that there are some kind of lizards that can procreate.
	I'm glad you got into the science of it.
	Amoeba summit!
	Hey Sam Coyle, you know, er, J.P., there's these lizards, pfft, and amoebas and that,
	they don't need to get one. Gorgeous! Hey J.P., lizards and that, they don't need to get one,
	are we? Oh, I don't know, Russell, you're oversimplifying.
	Anyway, he said that sex itself evolved to introduce new complexity into evolution
	so that parasites couldn't continue to evolve alongside the species that were hosting them,
	exploiting them.
	I then back-referenced that when he said that identity politics was too dependent on sex and sexuality, that that's not the most important aspect of your identity, and why would you bolt your identity onto that?
	And I goes, though, hold on, mate.
	You said that sex was a well-significant thing earlier.
	So I win that round.
	Oh, I used it against him.
	I used his own words against him.
	Later, I used his own wooden tie against him as a sort of baton in a light-hearted, Swiss-themed war.
	Nice.
	Nice stuff.
	But your chats, although, as you say, you used it against him, I think they're really passionate conversations between you two.
	They're good, aren't they?
	You've got a nice relationship.
	You know, when I'm doing that, I hurt myself.
	Oh dear.
	That's how fragile I am.
	Oh no.
	I'm that fragile.
	Listen, we are only on Rumble, right?
	So, hey, listen, you know, remember Covid lockdowns when you were all locked down in your house and sometimes you might find yourself doing what you were told and that, and you don't like being told what to do and then actually doing it.
	Like, you should think, if someone tells you what to do, just don't do it.
	Right.
	Try that.
	Try that.
	We're a context where you shouldn't do that.
	Work.
	Yeah, well, probably certain instances, aren't there?
	I'm not going to do that.
	I mean, you told all your kids at school, all the kids out of school, not your kids.
	Actually, some of them were your kids.
	A couple of them were.
	They'd already walked out.
	Disobey.
	Disobey rules.
	Where are you going?
	I'm disobeying your rule.
	Well done.
	So like, yeah, I do encourage the disobedience because I believe in personal freedom and autonomy and I'm suspicious of many rules and much of the kind of authority that we're supposed to obey these days and it turns out I'm right to do that because there was no evidence to support Covid lockdowns in Scotland during the pandemic.
	There's a new report that's in the Scottish Express which is what they have instead of newspapers up there.
	Now, that's just a joke.
	English, Scottish stuff.
	And also what they've been saying is that vaccines may not have been of any use at all when it came to sweet lady Covid.
	Am I right in saying that, Gal?
	Yeah, I mean, you are.
	Yeah.
	So this was, apparently, there's a Covid inquiry going on in Scotland at the moment and some of the findings are that there was insufficient or no evidence to suggest lockdown, social distancing or face masks.
	That's all of it?
	That's the whole thing?
	Yeah.
	There's nothing else left?
	No, and obviously... What's next?
	Them nurses' Instagrams?
	Oh, them nurse TikTok videos also were stupid.
	But I mean, that's the whole of... Masks, social distancing, vaccine, lockdown... Rainbows?
	Rainbows.
	Those rainbows may have carried HIV.
	I mean, what, like, what's next?
	You don't like that joke?
	No, no, I'm fine with that.
	I was kind of... I guess the advance of this is because we've heard... You just said, mm.
	It's a closed mouth sound.
	Sorry, I'm sorry.
	Didn't even do a polite laugh.
	That's a bit better.
	I'll take that.
	I'm happy with that.
	No, I might be there. No, that'll do.
	But we've, you know, we've reported on, I think the Telegraph has written about how
	lockdowns in the UK have been shown to be ineffective, but this takes it one step further
	into talking about vaccines themselves. So Dr Ashley Croft, consultant public health physician
	and medical epidemiologist, so he's part of this COVID inquiry.
	How do you know he's a man, you sexist pig?
	I actually don't. So thanks for picking me up on that.
	No further questions.
	On vaccines, he said it remains unclear as to whether or not COVID-19 vaccination has resulted
	in fewer deaths from COVID-19. COVID-19 vaccines have been shown in randomised controlled trials
	to be effective or probably effective in reducing the number of people acquiring COVID.
	However, vaccine-induced protection against COVID is short-lived.
	Gal, what about that woman on the Congress there?
	She was called something like Waverly Wexleyford.
	Yeah.
	What was she called, that?
	And she said, oh, but the first one, it was good for the first one.
	Oh, right.
	Oh, yes.
	You mean Walensky?
	Walensky.
	Waverly Wexleyford.
	Walensky.
	She said, like, oh, the thing was with the vaccines, they were very good for the first round of Covid, but they, yeah, they ran out of puff.
	she essentially said that they were basically they were getting out they were 100 effective but we know that there are emails between her involving uh and the cdc saying oh no they're not saying we know breakthrough cases i.e we know that people who have had the vaccination are still getting covered We did a great presentation on that.
	That's available.
	You can look at that at Rumble right now.
	Very funny video.
	You'll love it.
	Also, what about when Albert Baller, wish he was a bit taller, CEO of Pfizer, when he was on the news getting noshed off by a panel of women, sort of all going, oh, you've done so well with this vaccine.
	He goes, now you were hoping it might be 80% effective, but how effective was it?
	And he goes, I think it was 96% effective.
	Well, what percent is it now?
	No percent.
	No percent effective?
	No, I think, look, I think with all these... You might as well have done nothing.
	I don't think that's like strictly, strictly true because I think a lot of people obviously say that for certain age groups the vaccines at certain times are extremely effective and continue to be so.
	You know what?
	I've got an idea.
	so much? Why don't you marry it? Let's see if we can get it in here. No, hold on, hold on. Yeah,
	can we get the vaccines here because Gareth wants to marry it. Yeah, I'm just saying that what is
	being uncovered is that now we know that, you know, we're showing how effective that they were
	at the time, but the knowledge, as you said, about Rochelle Wensky at the time also was that they
	knew these breakthrough cases of Covid for people with the vaccines, you know, were occurring. So
	that is what comes down to what should what they should be transparent about. We now know it wasn't
	clinically trialled for transmission. We now know that the lockdown measures were not scientific,
	according to Chris Witty. We know that the social distancing laws were arbitrary, according to
	testimony out of your country, the United States of America, and now the Scottish of all people,
	a nation of folk that would deep fry their own sexual parts if they thought there might be a
	calorie in it, have been forced to come up with the hard fact to swallow that vaccines possibly
	did next to nothing or fuck all, as they would doubtlessly say.
	Time now for yet more truth.
	Could the recent UFO testimony being entertained by Congress Is there a problem, sir?
	No, no.
	Absolutely not.
	Is there a problem?
	Is there something wrong?
	I think either will do.
	Would you loosen your bra strap?
	Could the recent UFO testimony being entertained by Congress have anything to do with increased military spending?
	You told us that you were suspicious and cynical about these UFO findings.
	We've had Jeffrey Korbel, sorry, he's my friend, Jeremy Korbel, we've had him on here numerous times, revealing, and we've had old David Grush.
	We've not had him on yet, have we?
	No, we haven't had Grush on yet.
	We'll get him on.
	I'd love Grush.
	Yeah, look, I think these whistleblowers are great.
	You like them?
	I think the things that they're revealing are great.
	It's just, as we talk about, it's how this is being used.
	Is it being used to increase military spending?
	It seems, possibly, that you were right.
	That they are using UFO testimony to increase military spending.
	I can't believe you guys keep being right.
	Here's the news.
	No, here's the effing news.
	Thanks for watching ZipFox's News Video.
	No, here's the fucking news.
	You were right!
	You were right!
	UFOs, even if they are real, will be used to create massive military budgets and huge distractions.
	What a surprise!
	We're of course looking at the UFO hearings, we're examining whether or not there are non-human entities among us, whether or not there are recovered extraterrestrial spacecraft, and why, as usual, you were right that this is being used to generate extra military expenditure without ever really acknowledging the deep reality suggested by these whistleblowers revelations.
	Let's have a look at the story.
	Starting off with this tweet from the Empire Files, hmm, wonder if all the UFO stuff suddenly being entertained by Washington has anything to do with this.
	US Space Force budget hits 30 billion dollars in 2024 proposal.
	That sounds like the government to try and use a cultural or public phenomena to generate more revenue for Raytheon and Lockheed Martin.
	There are extra and they come here in peace.
	That's why we've asked Lockheed Martin to build these new deadly fucking things.
	President Biden's $842 billion budget request for the Defense Department for fiscal year 2024
	includes $30 billion for the US Space Force, the largest funding request to date
	for the military space branch.
	How like the governments of our time to take the ontological miracle
	that there are advanced intergalactic species communicating with us,
	some of you believe that, some of you don't, and turn it into additional expenditure for military
	private contractors.
	This is a sort of miracle akin to the kind of revelations that you would read in scripture.
	There are pervasive intercosmic consciousnesses communicating with us.
	Potentially this has been happening throughout civilization.
	Maybe the reason there are gaps in our observable evolution is because for a long time we've been communing with advanced species that perhaps have We've even been involved in our advancing civilization.
	Perhaps some of the phenomena we discuss in scripture, religion, in temples and synagogues around the world relates to these heavenly beings, these orbs in the sky, these chariots of fire.
	So, I've spoken to Raytheon, and we're gonna blow those motherfuckers right out of the sky.
	The proposed budget procures and modernizes capabilities to secure the use of space in the face of increasing threats to US national security space systems, the Pentagon said in budget document.
	So while this is a very novel story, I mean for someone my age it's almost ridiculous that in public there are congressional hearings in those rooms that we're familiar with now from like McCarthyism and mob hearings where people are discussing people from outer space.
	We're going to need more money.
	And also identifiable and peculiar, yet oh-so-typical, is fear.
	This is frightening.
	This is a threat.
	There are advanced extraterrestrial beings.
	Because another interpretation could be, well, what the hell are we having a war between Ukraine and Russia for if there are extraterrestrial beings?
	They could be a threat.
	They could be friendly.
	We don't know yet.
	One thing's for certain, we all live on one rock in limitless space.
	We should be turning our attention and our combined efforts to finding ways to live peacefully.
	How can that ever be possible?
	Clearly a massive and defining culture like American culture is falling apart right now.
	There's no reason to have centralised systems in the way that we do.
	What we perhaps could advance are new ways of living, new ways of worshipping together, new ways of affording one another the maximum amount of freedom in the face of the revelation that here in the universe We are not alone that the infringements and fractures between us don't amount to a great deal when you consider that there are presumably powerful civilizations that could wipe us out like that.
	Let's get on with the business of using diplomacy and peacemaking as the modalities of our time.
	No, instead of that, let's prepare for more war against people with big eyes and grey faces.
	I hate those grey-faced bastards flying around like that.
	Ignore the rules of gravity, would you?
	You son of a bitch!
	So with all these UFO whistleblowers, some of them from pretty respected positions within the deep state, how have the Pentagon reacted?
	What's their re-evaluation of the new reality that we find ourselves living in?
	The head of the Pentagon's UFO office has slammed last week's shocking congressional hearing in which three whistleblowers claimed they had first-hand encounters or knowledge about secret government programs involving technology that is non-human.
	Firstly, why have you even got a UFO office if you don't think there's such a thing as UFOs?
	What are you doing in that UFO office?
	Nothing.
	There's nothing to do in there because UFOs are not real.
	We just sit in there and we do nothing all day long except not auditing our massive expenditure on wars.
	We sit in there with calculators doing nothing.
	I actually was able to write boobless.
	Look!
	Why have a UFO office if you don't think there are such things as UFOs?
	How could there be non-human technology?
	All day long in the UFO office, we laugh and laugh about the ridiculousness of that.
	Next door in the crocodile office, they're astonished about events in Florida where people claim there are weird, big, jagged-toothed lizard things biting people on the toes.
	What a lot of bullshit.
	Sean Kilpatrick issued a statement Friday denying some of the witnesses' claims.
	David Grush, a former top intelligence official, testified that in his role liaising with Kilpatrick's office on UFOs, he discovered the government was keeping crashed non-human spacecraft secret from the public and illegally from Congress.
	So how is this being used now?
	As a distraction from criminality within government, from ludicrous jumped up charges and bizarre hearings, from FBI deep state corruption.
	Perhaps it's being used in all of these ways.
	But one thing that the Pentagon are not doing is admitting that it's plausible and true.
	So remember those of you that sort of just automatically, if they say UFOs are real, UFOs are not real.
	Remember, it could be a bit more complex than that.
	But in his statement, Kilpatrick called the testimony insulting.
	I'm insulted by that.
	Here in the UFO office, we don't hear any crazy talk about UFOs.
	When I shut that door of my UFO office, I don't hear about aliens or spacemen or spacecraft.
	We sit in there and we talk about stuff that only happens here on Earth.
	That's it.
	I'm insulted by that.
	Hey, what do you think all these spaceships are that we've got around here and these gravity-defying machines and this alien corpse?
	And what's David Gross talking about?
	Ah!
	Ah!
	I don't hear it!
	Shut the UFO office door!
	And I don't want to hear a word out of you, E.T.
	or you, Alf.
	And Chewbacca, shut your mouth.
	I don't want to hear it!
	Better late than never.
	And claims Grush was never a representative to his unit, officially called the All Domain Anomaly Resolution Office.
	Any anomalies or resolutions in that office?
	Grush never fitted in here at the UFO department.
	He kept going on about lights in the sky and space people and stuff.
	Getting on my fucking nerves!
	I can't just disavow David Grush just because he says there's UFOs in the UFO office.
	The claims directly contradict Grushy's previous description of his government roles, vetted by both the House Oversight Committee and media, that he served as the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency lead on UFOs reporting to AARO until April this year.
	Kilpatrick, who claims that at the UFO office they never talk about UFOs and don't acknowledge UFOs, is also lying about Grushy's role, saying he was nothing to do with it.
	Because the oversight committee have already vetted the claims and found them to be plausible, reasonable and true and that the matter should be addressed with some urgency.
	Kilpatrick's talking about David Grush like he was an ex-girlfriend.
	I never liked David Grush.
	He was bad in bed.
	He was lazy.
	He always left stuff on his side on the floor.
	He never cleared up.
	I never said you could keep a toothbrush in there.
	I hate you, Grush.
	And I've never loved you.
	Kilpatrick in a personal statement.
	Yeah, all his statements are personal.
	He's living on mad giddy emotion.
	Reportedly posted on his LinkedIn page.
	On his LinkedIn page.
	Newly single.
	Single!
	And you better believe I'm ready to mingle, David Grush!
	Although not with UFOs, because they ain't real.
	In a personal statement on his LinkedIn page, slammed the hearing, saying he was deeply disappointed at the denigration of civil and defence staff.
	He's an emotional lunatic, Kilpatrick, isn't he?
	You never even worked here, David Grush!
	And UFOs are definitely not real!
	Now get this lightsaber out of here!
	I cannot let yesterday's hearing pass without sharing how insulting it was to the officers of the Department of Defence and Intelligence Community, he wrote.
	Guys running on pure emotion, working in the UFO office, denying the existence of UFOs and treating former employees like they're lovers that jilted him at the altar.
	Among Grushy's eye-popping claims at Wednesday's hearing were suggestions the government may have been involved in murder while covering up its alleged UFO secrets.
	So it's quite serious stuff being alleged here.
	Grush told lawmakers that he was scared for his own life after becoming a whistleblower.
	Well, we all know that whistleblowers are generally treated with a good deal of respect and don't end up regularly homeless and vilified in the mainstream media.
	Let's have a look at some of those congressional hearings.
	We begin with that historic UFO hearing on Capitol Hill today, as we just said, the bipartisan push for transparency.
	Oh, bipartisan!
	That's good news.
	Everyone can just get along and buy each other a Coca-Cola.
	Whenever both parties come together, it means only one thing.
	We're all agreed that we want more money.
	It's always that.
	What are these unidentified objects?
	Where did they come from?
	And are we alone?
	I think what you've not understood there is the word unidentified.
	Take a listen.
	Here are some of the key highlights from that hearing.
	I was informed... Yeah, Jeremy Corbell!
	Shout out!
	...in the course of my official duties of a multi-decade UAP crash retrieval and reverse engineering program.
	There, uh, the controller told us that these objects, uh, had been observed for over two weeks, coming down from over 80,000 feet, rapidly descending to 20,000 feet, hanging out for hours, and then going straight back up.
	For those who don't realize, above 80,000 feet is space.
	Tick-tack was far beyond current tech.
	Oh, they don't mean ordinary tick-tacks.
	My God!
	It's sweet, it's sour, there's so many of them in here!
	This is blowing my mind!
	What's that in the sky?
	Nothing!
	Get out of my UFO office!
	How dare you even point up there!
	These are delicious, though.
	Obviously something extraordinary is going on and has been going on for some time.
	That's what I believe.
	in a controller called merge plot, which means that our radar blip was now in the same resolution
	cell as the contact.
	Obviously, something extraordinary is going on and has been going on for some time. That's
	what I believe. And we shouldn't perhaps be surprised that how this phenomena is being
	reduced is the same way every miracle of technology and revelation is.
	Wow, the internet.
	We can all talk to each other from across the world.
	That means we could organize new communities.
	We could find people that we have common interests with.
	Why, we could set about projects to save the world together.
	It doesn't matter how unusual or strange you are, you'll be able to talk to someone who knows exactly how you feel.
	We could do that.
	Or also, we could spy on everyone, say everyone's a bastard and make everyone fight all the time, and create a climate of hatred, surveillance, and censorship.
	Oh, yeah, that's also possible, I suppose.
	So we should be surprised that the UFO phenomena, like there's lights in the sky, there's dizzying technology, this means that our interpretation of what God is, what profits are, what life, biology, chemistry, the most rudimentary understanding of the universe has to be re-evaluated, which we already know from quantum physics, all of the things that we consider to be static amounts a little more than local.
	local customs in our particular dimension on our particular plane of reality. This is
	just obviously evidence of that. Instead of recognising that what we have here is an opportunity
	to re-evaluate our philosophy and our approach to life at a time when it's bloody needed
	because there's wars and fracture all over the place.
	Instead it's just like, can we use this to keep our existing system going and in fact yet
	more profitable for the very people and institutions that have proven to be utterly
	corrupt. Yeah, I suppose we could say that these intergalactic beings are kinda like Putins.
	Space Putins.
	And that we should kill those bastards before they cancer shit all over our civilization!
	I like it.
	All four of us, because we were in F-18Fs, so we had pilots and Wizzo in the back seat, looked down a small, saw a white tic-tac object with a longitudinal axis pointing north-south and moving very abruptly over the water like a ping-pong ball.
	Stop using stupid figs.
	Tic-tac, ping-pong.
	It's like a ding-dong, a tic-tac.
	Use sensible space words.
	As we started clockwise towards the object, my wizard and I decided to go down and take a closer look at the other aircraft staying in high cover to observe both us and the TIC-TAC.
	We proceeded around the circle about 90 degrees from the start of our descent, and the object suddenly shifted its longitudinal axis, aligned it with my aircraft, and began to climb.
	We consumed 270 degrees, and we went nose low to where the TIC-TAC would have been.
	Our altitude at this point was about 15,000 feet, and the TIC-TAC was about 12,000.
	You're saying tic-tac too much.
	You're going to have to think of another word for it because you're ruining the whole hearing.
	Okay, one way we could undermine this intergalactic technologically advanced species is by referring to their vehicles after Swedes.
	One of them was a little bit like a tic-tac, another one was a little bit like a jim-jam.
	They were like sort of Cheetos in the sky.
	They smelled very vaguely of cheese.
	When we touched them, you got orange dust on your hands.
	That's why I don't trust them.
	As we pulled nose onto the object within about a half mile of it, it rapidly accelerated in front of us and disappeared.
	I noticed that one corner of the spacecraft contained like a fruity jelly, and you could tip it into the main one.
	They had like lucky charms.
	There's lots of spacecraft that was just little circles like Cheerios, but every so often there was like a pink one or a green one, and those ones were sweeter.
	Our wingmen, roughly 8,000 feet above us, lost contact also.
	We immediately turned back to see where the white water was at, and it was gone also.
	So as you started to turn back towards the east, the controller came up and said, sir, you're not going to believe this, but that thing is at your cat point, roughly 60 miles away in less than a minute.
	I bit the end off of it, and then inside it was a delicious cream, and I sucked it out of it.
	It's like a Sky Twin key.
	During a training mission in Warning Area Whiskey 72, 10 miles off the coast of Virginia Beach, two F-18 Super Hornets were split by a UAP.
	The object, described as a dark grey or black cube inside of a clear sphere, came within 50 feet of the lead aircraft.
	At least he's describing things in more of a scientific way.
	Cubes.
	Spheres.
	Geometric.
	Pythagoras.
	That's what we want.
	Not like, it's like a bag of potato chips in there, but you could pour your own, but... They're making it like childhood nostalgia snacks.
	I think I don't have to ever describe alien corpses.
	There's a lot like Big Bird, Thick Lung, Yellow Feathers, and then there's one like Mr. Snuffleupagus.
	Two of them, even though they were the same gender, lived together, and it made me think, you know, maybe, like, uh, that we could all just live together regardless of what sex we are.
	Are you describing Sesame Street right now?
	No, no, I remember them saying out the window, can you tell me how to get- No, no, no, you're sorry, that was Sesame Street.
	It was estimated to be 5 to 15 feet in diameter.
	The mission commander terminated the flight immediately and returned base.
	Our squadron submitted a safety report, but there was no official acknowledgement of the incident and no further mechanism to report the sightings.
	Soon these encounters became so frequent that aircrew would discuss the risk of UAP
	as part of their regular pre-flight briefs.
	Well that's pretty amazing, it just became ordinary and acceptable.
	So look, I know loads of you think this is a distraction and in a way I agree with you,
	and I know that those of you knew that this would be used to leverage greater budgets
	and plainly you're right about that because that is what's happening.
	But I also think you have to remain open to the possibility that this is real just on the ordinary basis that we are in a limitless expanse of space and we only understand reality through our own sensory instruments and the magnification of our own sensory instruments and it's entirely possible that there are entities that are interdimensionally distinct from us and these descriptions are the kind of things that were kept out of the public eye for a long time for a reason because the natural questions to start asking yourself are ontological ones about the nature of being.
	Wait a minute, if we're not alone in the universe What is the veracity of all of our existing power structures?
	You know what I mean?
	It's pretty fundamental.
	You start saying, why should we have centralised, top-down government?
	Why should we have nation-states?
	Everything now is open for question.
	What it exposes is the capriciousness of culture.
	That culture is not arbitrary, because it's evolved based on principles that are as close to universal as we might be able to conceptualise and understand.
	But we should be willing to re-evaluate things that are not working.
	Are there things that are not working?
	Yeah, we seem to be in this sort of mad ongoing culture war.
	People want to censor us and surveil us.
	People have been turned against each other.
	There are literal wars going on.
	There are plainly elites that are cooperating at an international level with this deep state corruption.
	Right, good.
	We've agreed on that, haven't we?
	So, is it possible that we could really change stuff?
	Oh no, this is just how things have to be.
	No, because there's fucking space aliens.
	Everything's open now.
	Or if not space aliens, refreshing, delicious, minty snacks flying around the world.
	Yeah, they are delicious.
	It makes you wonder, it makes you wonder if, you know, maybe I could eat an onion-y sandwich with some bologna or whatever and then straight away eat a Tic Tac after that and carry on with my day.
	So many questions.
	The majority of witnesses are commercial pilots at majority major airlines.
	Often they are veterans with decades of flying experience.
	Pilots are reporting UAP at altitudes that appear above them at 40,000 feet, potentially in low Earth orbit or in the gray zone below the Karman line.
	This guy, they should have put him on first, because he's really taking all the joy out of it.
	He's making it sort of boring, isn't he?
	One guy makes it boring, the other one makes it ridiculous.
	Like, one turns him into sort of snacks from yesteryear.
	The other one makes it so mathematical, I'm sort of switching off.
	Making inexplicable maneuvers like right-hand turns and retrograde orbits or J-hooks.
	If everyone could see the sensor and video data I witnessed, our national conversation would change.
	He makes an important point.
	He's basically saying this is what you want from any witness really.
	If you knew what I have seen then you would regard reality entirely differently.
	What's masterful about the way this is being conceptualized, framed and contained is we're keeping it to a sort of a debate around mechanics and technology and public defense and national security when really what we've been invited to do is to push beyond our understanding of reality.
	And that's obviously what's required at the most basic level.
	If you want to change the world you can't go We're going to change the world, but only like this.
	That's what contemporary politics offers you.
	You can have this one or this one, and the undergirding remains unaltered.
	What a story like this could do is invite us to go, hang on a minute, everything's different from how we thought it was, so should we start looking at how we might differently organise society?
	The answer to that is, of course, yes.
	I urge us to put aside stigma and address the security and safety issue this topic represents.
	If UAP are foreign drones, it is an urgent national security problem.
	If it is something else, it is an issue for science.
	So that's an interesting conclusion.
	If it's drones, it's a matter of national security.
	Therefore, give us some more money.
	If it's not drones, then it's a matter for science.
	But beyond science, for massive philosophical and contemplative change, a new Weltanschauung,
	a new look at reality, a new understanding of what the world, and obviously plainly,
	universe we live in actually is.
	So it's not surprising it's being framed in this way.
	It's not surprising that it's being reduced to a sort of a military matter, because ultimately
	this is beyond the outer reaches of control as we could understand control.
	Like, this is not Russia or China, massive opponents that could potentially annihilate
	even a vast country like the United States.
	This is about intergalactic power.
	It's by its nature beyond our conception, beyond our understanding.
	But that's precisely where we need to go.
	So this is of course a matter for science, but it's also a matter for philosophy.
	And I mean that on an individual level.
	Because what I believe in is that your individual freedom and your individual understanding is what influences the flow of world power.
	Not currently with the institutions that we have and the structures that we have, but with the introduction of information like this, it invites us to view reality differently.
	And you know what I'm talking about.
	New individual power, new community power, a new understanding of the way that we view the most immersive and ubiquitous structures could change.
	That's just what I think.
	Let me know what you think in the chat.
	See you in a second.
	Thank you for choosing Fox News.
	Thank you so much.
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	And now, let's go back to that deep, intelligent piece of media critique analysis that you were just watching.
	A world where even the glorious potential that life on other planets can be used to create opportunity for warmongering.
	What a world we live in.
	What a corrupt and despicable world.
	Football's not like that.
	Football is nice. Hello and welcome to football is nice with Russell Brand and Gareth Roy.
	We've got Mark Goldbridge on the show a little bit later, host of the Manchester United YouTube channel, The United Stand.
	We're going to be looking at him becoming increasingly enraged as Manchester United fail to materialise, nearly materialise, dematerialise.
	They're an ontological entity that are even beyond Physics at times.
	This is Premier League Eve.
	We stand on the precipice of a new season.
	New dramas will unfold.
	New heroes will be minted.
	New villains forged.
	Will it be VAR that defines this season?
	Or will it be the 100-minute game?
	Is that the scandal that we have yet to taste on, in my case, my sweet velvety lips?
	And in the case of Gareth Roy, it's a no.
	Actually, they're quite nice lips as well.
	Never really looked at them before.
	Thanks for joining us, Gareth, for this part of your job.
	Thank you so much, Russell.
	It's nice for you to be here.
	What do you think about 100-minute games?
	Yeah, is this a new talking point?
	Will they have sorted out the handball rule will be the other one, right?
	You know, they're always talking about the handball rule now.
	It's a bit like the Donald Trump case.
	Did you know that you were going to touch that ball with your hand?
	Is that a natural position for your mind to be in?
	Is that what it is?
	Has it changed?
	I don't know but you know there's a lot of talk of it last season and pundits kind of saying they'll sort it out next season.
	They'll have to, they'll have to.
	Like, they do have to be, you're meant to do that with your hand.
	It can't be that it brushes.
	What I know for sure is however they maneuver that rule, it will penalize West Ham in some way.
	Like we've offside and like, what I remember from last season is the early part,
	we were about to equalize through your man, Jared Bowen against Chelsea.
	He scored a goal that just should have been allowed and it was disallowed for really weird reasons.
	Like, that didn't make sense to me anymore.
	Like, clad into, you know, that lad, Chelsea.
	How many goalkeepers have Chelsea sold and bought this season?
	How many players have they bought and sold?
	I mean, it's ridiculous.
	Is it?
	It's been a real merry-go-round.
	It's ridiculous.
	I don't know... It's unrecognisable.
	I don't know how I would feel as a Chelsea fan.
	Exactly that.
	The team is unrecognisable.
	I mean, when you change... I mean, it feels like almost their entire...
	The team has changed.
	It's not the same manager.
	It's not the same board.
	Stadium's changed.
	What is it you're shouting at?
	What exactly is it you support in there?
	It's becoming increasingly abstract.
	But I suppose we'll be able to make a broad appraisal of the season here.
	We'll be able to talk about who we reckon is going to win.
	Is anyone going to say anyone other than City?
	We're going to talk about top four.
	We can talk about relegation and talk about who might come up.
	We can take broad stabs at things, can't we?
	Are you excited about it?
	No, because we still ain't bought anyone at all.
	The people that we are likely to buy are people I don't want.
	I want that lad Alvarez out of Ajax.
	I don't know much about him, except he's good.
	You like his name, don't you?
	Alvarez.
	And you like the Ajax thing?
	Ajax!
	Alvarez of Ajax.
	That's double A. That's good.
	If that was a battery, you'd buy it.
	But like, I'm worried about McTominay and I'm worried about Maguire.
	I'm worried about the MU Mooks.
	I'm just worried about the kind of two-for-one aspect with that deal.
	Two-for-one doesn't usually represent anything other than a bargain that's based on quantity over quality.
	You know one?
	Yeah.
	What about two?
	I suppose that is more.
	Here are these two underperforming, uninspiring, somewhat expensive... No, McTominay is intermittently good.
	I would say so.
	And for Scotland, incredible.
	Absolutely incredible.
	He's been amazing for Scotland.
	And for United, you could argue he hasn't had the chances, especially last year.
	But I do think that he's a good player.
	And obviously, as a whole supporter, I like Maguire of a few years ago, but...
	I don't know.
	What will have happened to him?
	And even Lester Maguire.
	And even Easter Island Head Maguire.
	All of those versions of Maguire we all like.
	And Maguire, I don't look... Do you know what?
	I always think of them as human beings because that is, of course, what they are.
	And I try not to be like a right little bastard and sort of criticise people.
	But I was hoping for Harvey Barnes, Newcastle.
	I was hoping for James Ward-Prowse.
	I don't think that's going to happen.
	Well, they're saying it's too much work.
	Well, you can get both... You can get both of these players for the same money.
	You can get, what, Maguire and McTominay.
	Apparently so.
	I would like, but can we just have James Ward and the Prowse we'll get in a few years if it works out?
	I'd rather break them down in double-barrel names than, like, I don't know about that.
	Also, as well, like, as a West Ham player, it feels, I would prefer the, excuse me, fan.
	I know, wow.
	I prefer, Jesus Christ, the ego.
	I prefer the feeling of sucking people up out of the championship.
	I bet you do.
	I don't think we've had many good signings like that.
	I'm trying to think of any actually.
	No and the one player who it looked like would make that move was Lingard when he had that fantastic season.
	He should have done for himself.
	He really should have done.
	Now he's left Forest I think.
	Even that.
	What's next?
	Galatasaray tends to be the next move after that.
	Now a Turkish giants, Fenerbahce.
	Oh, it's good when they have that derby.
	It's ever such a seething atmosphere.
	Well, if you want a seething atmosphere, go anywhere in England because you've betrayed us all.
	Yeah, so that didn't work out.
	I'm just trying to think of when we get, like, you know, we have had, from Jimmy Greaves to Ian Wright to Liam Brady, like, we've had post-Clive Allen, like, we've had post-Peake stars.
	throughout our history. But it's always better when it's like, when I think of the great players like Payet, Affine,
	you know, the Caño, and even more latterly the likes of Jarrod, Antonio.
	I guess it's like, what does it suggest your club is? As in, is it finding, as you say, players from around the globe
	that kind of, you know, would suggest that you have a great scouting network?
	Or is it plucky, great players for the Championship?
	Yeah, Jack Wilshere, Lundberg.
	Whenever we take them lot off Arsenal, in decline, it's not...
	It's not a good use of money.
	Doesn't paint you in a great light as a club, I don't think.
	I don't think so.
	But this is what I worry about is the pathology of Moyes.
	I feel like David Moyes, because of his own wounding at United, might sort of think, I can like take over poor wounded souls from Man U. And these are all things we can talk to Mark Goldbridge about because he's an expert in all of these players.
	So we'll talk about that a little bit.
	Mate, what do you want to talk about in your podcast?
	It seems like we've got a new title sequence from Bad Graphics Jack, as well as a host of topics to talk about.
	Shall we have a look at Bad Graphics Jack?
	Is this for our predictions?
	Are we going straight to predictions?
	This is interesting, it says that Trump's legal team consists of a selection of Wayne Rooney's.
	That's pretty amazing.
	Oh God, that is good!
	Donald Trump, this in American football news, Donald Trump is supported by entirely by Wayne Rooney's at different embryonic phases yes there's late Rooney to Trump's left there's classic current Rooney immediately to the right of Trump and then there's the thinking man's Rooney just at the edge of frame there and also Munch's scream just above Trump's shoulder there as a sort of a nice addition that's a bold courtroom artist right there it is that's a
	Absolutely captured you that isn't it mate?
	Yeah well Rooney is interesting isn't he?
	Because he's doing, he's managing apparently very well at the moment with his big beard.
	Who's he managing?
	Is he MLS or Toronto or one of those?
	I think it's America or Canada that he's at and apparently doing very well.
	Aren't people worried that Saudi Arabia's transfer window stays open too long and Premier League players are going to get hoovered out in the hundredth minute, the 115th minute of play, you'll suddenly see Mo Salah galloping off to Saudi?
	Because they're similarly unable, or DC United it is with Rooney, Yeah, they're seemingly unable to do anything about it.
	I mean, Liverpool's reading that Klopp wanted to keep Henderson, but just the lure of that money was just too much, you know.
	People were ever so upset about Henderson, weren't they?
	They were.
	The thing is, with glorious money, Is there you can sort of persuade yourself almost anything like like sort of Jordan Anderson would have gone from being an avid supporter of LGBTQ plus issues in the World Cup to thinking that is so much money I'm not ever gonna have to do anything again and like we sort of say oh come on mate you're getting a lot of money anyway but
	It's all relative.
	So much money that you're gonna get there.
	Probably you get favourable tax arrangements out there in Saudi as well.
	I mean, who among us can say?
	I can see where this is leading!
	Is there a lower league team in Saudi Arabia that would take me as sort of a player manager?
	Yeah, or is there some kind of streaming platform?
	They've not yet offered us anything.
	People sort of ask sometimes, would you do like stand up in sort of nations like that?
	And the answer is we would!
	Can you just please just send the offers and we'll find a way of morally justifying it to ourselves retrospectively.
	David, well I will, yeah.
	David Foster Wallace, he goes, like when talking about John McCann's incarceration subsequent to his capture in Vietnam, that of course his plane crashed in a swamp, he was captured by Viet Cong, had his arms broken, was stabbed with a bayonet in the groin, and then when he was taken to the prisoner of war camp, he was offered early release because they found out that he was a high up, and indeed his relatives in the McCann family were like part of the Admiralty.
	It's McCain.
	I'm talking about oven chips.
	I thought so.
	You're right.
	Very similar.
	These are very reasonable chips and for 20 minutes in the oven.
	Sorry, that whole beginning of that was meant to be about oven chips and also die hard.
	No, John McCain is who I mean.
	Anyway, like when it came to the release, they wanted to release him as part of a bargaining deal because they thought they'd get more loads of prisoners for him.
	But the Geneva Convention plus, I don't know, protocols of the US military Uh, dictate that prisoners should be released in the order that they were captured.
	And McCain refused to be released out of sequence.
	They're like, we want to release you now, mate.
	And he said, nah, I'm staying.
	You've got to release all this stuff first.
	So John McCain, whether you agreed with his politics or not, had morals and he didn't.
	And why I'm mentioning this now is because David Foster Wallace in an essay about this said, imagine yourself in that situation, the excuses you would use to accept that deal.
	You go, I may be taking this deal.
	But I will dedicate my life to releasing other prisoners.
	And in fact, in the long run, this will work out better for them because I will use my time and influence.
	So then he goes, imagine the things you'd remember, the smell of your wife's hair, all these things.
	He goes, so whatever you think about John McCain, he's a person who in that situation did that.
	So that's why ethics and morality... Although, to be fair, Stephen Gerrard would never want to sign John McCain.
	He, not like, certainly not in goal because he couldn't lift his arms above his head due to the torture that he received during that period.
	But I suppose like when you see people wear rainbow laces or a badge or an armband or take the knee or whatever, the charge that exists in our culture now is that these gestures of virtue signaling, as it's commonly known, are actions undertaken without cost or consequence.
	Like, when it, if it, like the real sacrifice and real activism, if you think of like, I don't know, Gandhi,
	and it seems perhaps a little unfair to compare Jordan Henderson to Mahatma Gandhi,
	perhaps the greatest civil rights leader in history, like...
	And a hell of a right back.
	I mean...
	He wouldn't track back, Gandhi, and he had no gas for the overlap.
	Gandhi, track back!
	I will not track back.
	Like, I suppose that's what it does to you, isn't it?
	It's like, when it comes to it, if we were to talk to Jordan Henderson, he'd go, I'm bloody ill.
	I think it's unfair, I have to say.
	I think all of this stuff that gets labelled at footballers, I mean, again, bit of a trope and a cliche now to say this, but it is one of those, you know, few areas where working class people can earn a lot of money and it's one of the... It's one of the few areas where working class people can prop up a corrupt regime!
	But you know, there are so many awful things going on in the world.
	I know.
	You've got cherry picking.
	I mean, I actually agreed in the end with, let's say, Simon Jordan's analysis of the Qatar World Cup.
	I was like, hang on.
	I mean, what are they doing really that's any worse than stuff we either do or have done?
	You can't...
	If you're going to make these arguments with any sincerity, let's get ready to dismantle the machinery of capitalism and start building ecologically friendly, anarcho-syndicalist, decentralised tribes.
	And given that no one's doing that, you might as well not criticise Jordan Henderson for doing it.
	Jordan Henderson is definitely not getting paid more than America are making selling arms to Saudi Arabia.
	So what's the real issue here?
	And yeah, or the way that Raytheon and Lockheed Martin are profiting from the ongoing conflict between Ukraine and Russia, which is still posed as a moral crusade in a kind of cake-and-eat-it capitalist sort of orgy of profit.
	Yeah, that's pretty cool.
	All right, hold on, I had one more thing to say about this that was pretty good and I think was going to be the Real so really seal the deal in either direction.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I think so I think I was gonna seal it once and for all but I don't know should we go to Mark Goldbridge yet?
	All right, let's have a look at these prediction title sequence. I've got my still got one more point bad graphics
	Jack has been doing the thing have a look at it Hmm
	Hmm Hmm
	Hmm Hmm
	Hmm You
	You you
	you He always does that.
	He does.
	He always does things like where there's a sort of real sting in the tail, doesn't he, Bad Graphics Jack?
	He does, yeah.
	He also has the sort of energy of Saturday morning TV from 1997, doesn't he?
	Everything's like something that would introduce Trevor and Simon on Live and Kicking.
	That's a reference.
	Yeah, look it up.
	Yeah, well, what predictions are we going to make?
	Shall we make a prediction?
	Okay.
	I'll make a prediction.
	I mean, who's going to... There's no point predicting anything except for total domination of Manchester City, is there?
	No, I would suggest not.
	Because they bought two players.
	They improved them, haven't they?
	I mean, they let go of a couple of people that they wanted to let go of.
	Yeah, Gundogan's gone, hasn't he?
	So, and he obviously got them up.
	He was amazing for them.
	Scored a very nice goal in the cup final.
	I wonder if Mark Goldbridge saw that.
	I'm not sure if he did.
	Yeah, and Mahrez, that don't matter.
	Well, you know, they've always got... They just bought back some... They bought some centre-back who looks tasty.
	Yeah, from Leipzig.
	Yeah, apparently Pep says he's... And what, Kovacic?
	Kovacic from Chelsea.
	Yeah, another smart signing at £25 million I think they got him for.
	How are you going to say Guardiola?
	Is that how?
	I think he just did.
	Do you think that they got him because his name is a bit like Guardiola?
	I think they did, yeah.
	Do you know, I like Guardiola.
	What about Guardiola?
	Close enough.
	Get it in.
	Yeah.
	No, City, surely, again.
	And, obviously, they could still buy a few more players.
	I think Kyle Walker's agreed to stay, I read today, which is, like, good for them.
	He was very good last season, Kyle Walker.
	Why don't Man United buy someone like bloody Harry Kane?
	Like, it's no good him going to Bayern Munich.
	That's boring.
	Well, that's because they refuse to sell him to Man United, which I understand Levy's like, no, we're not selling him.
	That's one of their main people they like to sell people to.
	Yeah, I know.
	They like to sell them Teddy Sheridan and Berbatov.
	This is exactly like that.
	But I think they're in positions where they had to before, whereas in the Kane situation, they'd like... Sell him to Germany.
	Yeah, although apparently that's not even happening.
	He's really digging his heels in.
	Well, he's a master negotiator as we know.
	One thing we all know about Daniel Levy, for some reason, is that he is a master negotiator.
	Distinct from all of our chair people.
	Weird isn't it?
	Weird it is, yeah.
	What is he doing in there?
	This is just, like, it can only be, people go, listen, we'll give you a hundred million for Harry Kane, even though he's only got a year left in his contract, and he goes no.
	Yeah.
	That's it.
	I mean, that's not master, that's just he's obstreperous and oppositional.
	Sure.
	Anyone can just say no to piffings.
	Right.
	Except Zamo.
	I'm really trapped in the 80s.
	I can't get out of the 1980s.
	What's wrong with me?
	I don't know, mate.
	What is it?
	It's fine, though.
	So, yeah, so are we doing predictions of winners?
	All right, Man City win.
	Obviously, we're saying Man City.
	Like, who's going to come second?
	Are you going to say Chelsea?
	Are you going to say Arsenal?
	Is it Liverpool?
	Arsenal won the Shield the other day.
	I mean, I know it's never an indication.
	I think, like, one team who won the Shield has won the Premier League in the last 10 years or something, so that's not an indication that Arsenal will be winners this season.
	Community Shield.
	I know.
	It's a funny thing, isn't it?
	The Community Shield.
	What community?
	They give a bit of money to charity.
	They're loving it though.
	Look, aren't they?
	They're pleased to have that shield.
	Well, it's become like a big thing.
	It didn't used to be all that big, did it?
	The Community Shield.
	Where's Declan Rice?
	Did he not go?
	Oh, trouble in paradise.
	He went?
	Did he play?
	Yeah, he did play.
	Played the old game.
	What number's he wear?
	Eight.
	Don't get all sad over... No, it's just such a funny number.
	No, I can see... Still a number that I think would suit him.
	Oh, he's not over it, is he?
	I am over it!
	I'm glad he's gone!
	I wanted him to go.
	I'm pleased.
	I'm pleased.
	I'm pleased that we sold him and I'm even more pleased that we've not signed anyone to replace him.
	Those seem like good decisions.
	You're getting Harry Maguire.
	Stop complaining!
	I don't want Harry Maguire!
	You can have a Scott McTominay for that!
	I don't want a Scott McTominay neither!
	I did see a tweet that said that West Ham were going to either buy the pair for £40 million or McTominay on his own for £42.
	I love a joke like that, don't you?
	It's a right out of order joke.
	So out of order.
	Poor Harry Maguire.
	Yeah.
	Predictions?
	Let's get Mark Goldbridge on.
	He's got his own YouTube channel.
	He's doing really well.
	People love him.
	Let's have a look at a few examples of Mark Goldbridge taking it real bad that he's a Man United fan and Man United fans won't do what it's supposed to do and what it used to do.
	Win football games easily.
	One, two, three.
	Everybody go.
	Go City!
	Let's do it for our history.
	Look, Man City have gone long ball already there.
	Flicked into Haaland.
	Oh my god.
	15 seconds in!
	Oh fucking hell.
	I'm gone.
	I'm finished.
	No!
	7 fucking nil!
	1 nil.
	It's fucking 1 nil.
	That's horrible.
	It's like walking around with your parents having sex.
	That midfield has got the positional sense of a blindfolded slug trying to find a Mars bar at a Weight Watchers convention.
	And it's 2-2.
	Back in.
	Game on.
	Let's go again.
	Again, they're on the attack here.
	You can sod off meowing as well, you bloody Arsenal fan.
	Mark, thank you very much for joining us on the show.
	You're very welcome.
	Thanks for having me.
	What's it been like to transition from that period of success into let's call it a rather more turbulent period as a United fan?
	Is that a very painful thing?
	Have there been brief moments of respite and joy within it or has it been a real grind?
	I read somebody say a few years ago that you've got to appreciate the fact that we had so much success that it goes in swings and roundabouts and now it's a period of bad times that you've just got to put up with, but that's like being rich.
	For 20 years and then living in a tent in a forest, isn't it?
	I mean, you don't have to go, this is acceptable.
	The serious answer is, you know, the club has been run badly and never should have fell as far as it has from the tree.
	But I'll be honest that has.
	It is quite humbling because obviously under Sir Alex, it was every year you expected to win things.
	Whereas now you can sort of appreciate the fact that the reality football is that there's a lot of fans out there that don't have success as well.
	So yeah, it's funny.
	It's quite funny watching those clips back because it is just utter despair that most fans probably have for 99% of their lives.
	Yeah it's striking as well because I think the quality that it has just watching it analytically is people enjoy watching authentic content and you can see that you allow yourself to have natural reactions to the frustration and disappointment that being a Man United fan has latterly included.
	Now let's talk a little bit mate about Maguire and McTominay.
	How are Man United going to cope With the loss of such a significant skeletal figures that are holding together the framework of that club, how do you actually feel about the departure of them players?
	And also, do you think that Ten Hag's going in the right direction?
	And what kind of appointments are required to get United anywhere near where they need to be to challenge City?
	Is Hoyland going to be enough?
	Just give us an overview from those potential West Ham departures all the way up to Hoyland, if you can, mate.
	Yeah, well, look, I know you're a West Ham fan, Russell, so I'm very careful as to who might be watching in the higher-up corridors of West Ham, of what I truthfully say about Harry Maguire and Scott McTominay, because I think they would be very good signings for West Ham, and I think there's good value in going up to maybe £70 million for the pair.
	But no, look, you know, Scott McTominay's an interesting one.
	I've never been a massive fan of his in the sense that I don't think he's a first-team player for Manchester United, but I think playing regularly I do think he would.
	He would.
	He would be a suitable player for a West Ham or an Everton type thing.
	Um, type thing.
	What does that mean?
	Yeah, because you'd be a good midfielder for a West Ham.
	But no, I think Harry Maguire is probably the more interesting one.
	I mean, I thought I'm fully aware that West Ham fans don't want these players.
	I'm trying to talk them up a little bit, but Harry Maguire is an England centre back.
	He's not a Manchester United centre back, but he's an England centre back and.
	I was listening to what you said before.
	I think David Moyes and his ex Manchester United journey might be what he's looking at here.
	I've done well at West Ham and maybe these players can do well at West Ham.
	I think they would do well.
	I can't believe we rejected £30 million for Scott McTominay.
	I don't know.
	I heard you saying earlier about how he plays well for Scotland, but it amazes me that United would reject £30 million for him because I just don't know where that value has come from.
	Rasmus Hoyland.
	I really like that's the sort of thing that Manchester United should be doing.
	We did this a few years ago.
	Obviously, Cristiano Ronaldo would be the most obvious choice where you go and buy a teenager from sporting Lisbon, and they become a great player.
	Manchester United over the last decade talking about failure have sort of fallen into this trap for spending a lot of money on other people's players, whether it be the Maria or Pogba or, um.
	Trying to get Anthony etcetera.
	Whereas I think with with Hoyland, I like the idea of but it's a bit like the Brighton way.
	Everyone loves the Brighton where you buy a player that's well scouted.
	That's not quite there yet.
	And then they develop at your football club.
	Manchester United should be doing more of that.
	And I think that's something that Eric ten hog is looking to bring as a developmental coach rather than a Jose Mourinho wants to get the players ready and do it now.
	I think Manchester United fans are always welcome to a manager that wants to build something over a period of time for a longer period of time.
	Do you feel that these kind of changes are going to be sufficient to make you competitive?
	Or do you feel that we're just getting deeper and deeper into an era of man-city supremacy?
	And I suppose the most, in a way, obvious question and the defining question is that with clubs like City and Newcastle having the level of investment that they now have, are we going to see a new tier emerge in top flight Well, I was listening to what you were both saying about Jordan Henderson and I suppose that's the way football's gone.
	If you'd said to me three or four years ago that United Would be in pole position to be acquired by Qatar.
	I would be.
	I don't really want that.
	I don't like that model.
	Man City have had that model.
	I don't like it.
	But where we are now, I'd say there's many a football fan who will agree with this, that if you want to be successful, so therefore in your lifetime, if you want to see your football club win trophies, then I don't see how it's possible without that level of, you know, unreserved wealth.
	The likes of Man City and Saudi Arabia with Newcastle have.
	I mean, look, Pep Guardiola has built a team over a number of years where he can say, I don't like that goalkeeper.
	I don't like that right back.
	I'll get a new one.
	I'll get a new one.
	He's a fantastic coach as well, because they've acquired the best coach in the world.
	They've acquired a brilliant structure around him in relation to recruitment and coaching, the infrastructure around Man City in relation to training facilities.
	It's all bought, and it's all high level.
	And I think that if you want to compete with that, and I'd love to see teams compete with that, I don't think you can without that sort of investment.
	It's either.
	We're at the critical point, I think, of either regulation or embrace the fact that it's a financial free-for-all.
	You've either got to ban that and sort of introduce meaningful financial regulation of like, you can only spend this, wages can only be that.
	You know, but I would prefer regulation at the point of purchase.
	What do you think, Al?
	It's really interesting what you say there about infrastructure because it's something that isn't spoken about that much.
	You know, take Man United as an example.
	They've spent an awful lot of money over the last few years and yet haven't really had much to show for it at all.
	In fact, you'd say that that money's been badly spent in many, many a case.
	And then you look at Man City, obviously have spent a lot of money themselves, but it feels like in terms of an infrastructure, they've got something so solid that no one else is kind of competing with.
	You look at like Newcastle are trying to implement something similar and it feels like That's as important as the money that you're spending on players.
	That what comes with that Saudi money or that Qatar money, whatever it is, is an infrastructure that's kind of unmatched and that feels like that's your future route to dominating this league for the next five years.
	Do you think that infrastructure is something that isn't maybe spoken about as much as the more eye-catching headlines around player transfers?
	I think the modern football fan is probably more aware of it than I was when I was younger.
	I mean, growing up in the late 80s, it was Teletext.
	I had no idea who played for Bayern Munich, etc.
	And I think when you look at the Brightons and the Brentfords of the Premier League, their success isn't a coincidence.
	It's based on scouting systems that other big clubs are now trying to replicate that will take them a couple of years.
	I think that the structure is massively important and what man's I mean, Newcastle as soon as they were taken over.
	I think they went and took the head of development from Brighton so you can.
	You can have money and you're right, Manchester United.
	I think even the CEO was caught saying 12 months ago that what we've spent in the last 10 years you walk into Carrington, the training ground and you go, where did it get spent?
	So I think Manchester City and Newcastle not only are they rich, but they look at every level of the football club from youth to recruitment to.
	Fitness and spend on the best.
	And that's why you end up there because anybody can walk it.
	I mean, look at Chelsea last year, spent ridiculous money.
	Hearts in the right place of Todd Bowley, but just wasted a load of money and ends up having to rebuild a club in the summer again.
	Mark, I want to include you in our predictions game for six games over the weekend.
	I've drawn you quite accurately there next to our disembodied heads.
	That's my portrait of you.
	The first game, we've all got to make predictions.
	Now, I make my predictions in a very immediate, reflexive way and they're regularly incorrect.
	Gareth is more ponderous and likes to really sort of take it seriously, annoyingly so,
	almost. Anyway, I'd like to invite you to participate in these predictions. So the
	first game is Burnley v City. If you get the result correct, it's one point. If you get the score
	exactly correct, then it's three points.
	That's how our system works. It's quite complex. This could become the new fantasy football.
	In fact, we should make ourselves rich from this.
	It just occurred to me there.
	It could be a thing.
	All right.
	I don't think you can own the football pools.
	All right.
	Burnley v Man City.
	Mark, what do you think?
	I'm going to go 3-1 to Manchester City.
	Yeah, all right then.
	I'm going to go 4-0 City.
	What about you, Gail?
	3-0.
	3-0.
	Bournemouth v West Ham.
	Because that's at Bournemouth, isn't it?
	I'm going to go 2-1 away win for West Ham.
	Thank you.
	I've gone 2-0 away win.
	What about you, Gail?
	I'll go 1-1.
	1-1.
	Damn you.
	Newcastle v Villa.
	Newcastle home.
	Yeah, that'd be close, but I'll go with Newcastle's home form.
	I'll go 2-0 Newcastle.
	2-0.
	Oh no, I'm going to say it's a surprising away win for some reason.
	And you've gone 2-0.
	You've gone home win.
	And what about you, Gal?
	I'm going to go 3-2.
	I think they played each other in a friendly in pre-season.
	I think there was quite high scoring anyway.
	Oh, he really thinks he's got all the data, doesn't he?
	Sam Allardyce.
	It should be a really brilliant game, that, actually.
	I'm looking forward to it.
	Brighton-Luton.
	Oh, come on, let's have Luton win their first game of the season away to Brighton.
	I'm just going to say 1-0 to Luton.
	I'm voting with the heart.
	What about you, Goldbridge?
	5-0 Brighton.
	Fucking hell, mate!
	Yeah, go for it.
	What about you, Gal?
	I've got a 1-0 Brighton.
	1-0 Brighton.
	Be a good game, that.
	I'm excited about Luton.
	I like the anomaly of Luton.
	Proper Kenilworth Road, crap stadium, fans that are, let's face it, a bit 1980s.
	It's going to be a fantastic season.
	Alright, Chelsea-Liverpool televised game.
	It's always been a contentious feature.
	It'll probably be awful as a result.
	It'll probably be something like 0-0 or 1-1.
	Go on then.
	Yeah, yeah.
	They can be slow those games.
	They cancelled each other out last season, but they were both awful last season.
	Oh, like 0-0.
	I'm going to say 0-0.
	Drab crap.
	Yeah, I'll go 1-1 then to make it different from you.
	And what about you, Mark?
	I'll go Liverpool away win 1-0.
	Away win 1-0.
	Oh, and then from the championship to Hugh, my dear, Gareth, Hull City versus Wednesday, Sheffield Wednesday, Hull City home.
	I'll go 1-1.
	Yeah, 1-1 for me as well.
	1-1, 1-1.
	We're allowed to say the same thing.
	I think Sheffield Wednesday are going to win.
	It's their first game.
	They came up in the playoffs, didn't they?
	And United, do you think United will beat Wolves on Monday night, Mark?
	Yeah, I'll go 3-0 for that.
	Mark's saying 3-0.
	I'm going to say 2-0.
	And Gael?
	Yeah, 3-1 United.
	I think Wolves are really going to struggle this season.
	There you go.
	Sorry if you're listening or watching this, putting you through that tedious process of men just contemplating numbers.
	Mark, thank you so much for joining us.
	I'd love to talk to you again.
	I want to talk to you about how you went from being a police officer to a YouTube star.
	And I'd love to get into the philosophical depths that only football can bring about.
	The whole point of our podcast is to engage in whimsy and philosophy.
	And on that note, why the hell are you in a Jamiroquai video?
	Thanks for having me on, lads.
	Really enjoyed it.
	Love to do it again.
	He's not going to tell us.
	He won't tell us.
	We'll never know next time.
	He's a mysterious man.
	He's a space cowboy.
	But will he ever return?
	Thank you so much for joining us.
	You can check Mark out on The United Stand on YouTube and follow him on Twitter at UnitedStandMUFC.
	That's all we've got time for.
	Football is nice will be back next week and you can listen to our whole conversation on the football is nice podcast
	Tomorrow's show our special guest is entrepreneur and candidate in the 2024 republican party presidential primaries
	vivek ramaswamy I'm pretty excited to be speaking to Vivek.
	I want to talk to him about his policy around guns.
	I want to talk to him around his policy around war.
	I want to talk to him about how he has become a surprise stalking horse.
	He could even overtake Ron DeSantis, former guest on our show in the Republican primaries.
	Okay, so we'll see you tomorrow.
	Join us then, not for more of the same.
	We'd never insult you in none of that.
	That clap trap, no vile slops here, just precious jewels tumbling from on high!
	Join us tomorrow, not for more of the same, but for more of the different.

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