Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum yes you see the headset.
You know what that means. Not only is it an attractive fashion accessory, but it allows me to talk to guests.
And so I will be inviting some guests on to ask you some deeply personal questions.
Deeply personal. Oh yeah, I will be the one asking the question this time.
So wait for that.
Wait for that. So, what a weird day it was for me.
I told you before how strange it is to be me and how small the world has become.
And today I'm just minding my own business, looking on Twitter like I often do.
And I'm thinking, what's happening on Twitter?
Anything new? And I look at a comment.
And there's somebody commenting back to me.
I forget what the comment was.
But I saw in the comment that he was commenting back to me and one other person.
And the one other person was President Trump.
And I thought to myself, wait a minute, how does a reply, how would a reply have the two of us in there, did he add?
And then I thought, I wonder if, and I checked President Trump's timeline and he had three retweets of me and a retweet of something that I tweeted about something Greg said on the Five.
And I thought, what?
I'm just minding my own business and the President of the United States is tweeting my funny video.
So, maybe I'm not writing the simulation.
I'm open to the possibility that there's some other explanation for this reality.
But my life does not conform to anything normal.
It is so unusual, and always has been.
That's the weird thing. Even as a kid, My ordinary experiences seem to somewhat extraordinary even to me, meaning that just things that you wouldn't expect could happen all the time.
And I don't know what that's about.
Honestly, I don't.
I assume it's selective memory.
That's my best guess.
But why would I have so many of these stories?
That I have selectively remembered, but other people don't.
Why wouldn't other people remember their cool stories?
Like, is it just a weird coincidence that stuff happens to me all the time?
All right. So, that was a lot of fun.
And I don't know if you saw which ones the president retweeted, but that alone is worth looking at.
So, a couple things.
So it seems, it would seem, that Kim Jong-un is alive.
Did you see that?
Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader, North Korea, has appeared on video and still photography at a fertilizer plant grand opening.
Seemed quite spry, seemed quite healthy.
Looked like he didn't have a care in the world.
And did it look real to you?
Do you believe it?
Well, the president tweeted that he wished him well, and the president already had said that he knows what the situation is.
So he had hinted that he was confident he knew the situation, and he had said before that he wished Kim Jong-un well.
Sure enough, you know, if you're wishing someone well, that would indicate, you know, you think that they're, you know, whatever it is, is going to pass.
And then today he said, I think the tweet was, I, for one, you know, am glad to see Kim Jong-un is well or something like that.
So it was just purely friendly, leader-to-leader tweet.
So now we have the evidence that he's alive.
We have a video. We've got still photography.
We've got the president's tweet.
Seems pretty authoritative, wouldn't you say?
And by the way, South Korea never said that there was any problem in the first place.
As far as South Korea was concerned, they were like, we don't see anything.
So are we done?
That's it, right? Well, or are we?
Let me just put this conspiracy theory into your head.
Now, I do this in the spirit of entertainment.
If anything I say convinces you that some of this is true, well, that's on you.
Because this is conspiracy theory storytime.
You are not to take these things too literally, or should you?
That is what you will decide.
Look, if you will, at the video of Kim Jong-un visiting the plant and tell me that you're positive that's the same guy in all of the pictures.
Tell me you're positive that's the same guy.
Because in one of them, it's either a different guy or he had dental surgery and something was puffed up During the middle of the visit, it only lasted a few minutes because it wasn't there in the other photographs.
Is it my imagination or are the pictures that showed the fertilizer plant, were those also coincidentally the pictures in which the alleged Kim Jong-un was kind of far away?
Am I wrong about that?
Am I wrong that the close-ups of Kim and his face that are clearly him.
Am I wrong to say that those don't show much of a background?
Could be anywhere. But the ones where he's sort of far away and it looks like it could be some kind of fertilizer plant, well, indeed.
He's a little smidge, but he's at a fertilizer plant, sure enough, if you think that looks like him.
Now, further evidence I submit to you.
If you're just joining, don't take any of this too seriously.
Further evidence, I submit to you.
Look at the still photograph of the alleged Kim Jong-un cutting the red tape.
You will notice that directly beneath Kim Jong-un, there's a shadow.
It's a shadow between his two feet.
Look for the direction of the sun.
Is the sun directly above him?
No, it is not.
It is quite clearly fairly down in the horizon because the shade from the building Which we can see in other photographs, is very long.
So if it's a long shadow, it means the sun is fairly low.
So that was the only lighting.
It was outdoors. It's the only lighting.
And yet, the sun is on the side, but the only shadow is between Kim Jong-un's legs.
Wouldn't you also expect there would be a second shadow On the other side of the second leg, why only one leg shows a shadow?
Is he part vampire?
Is one leg a vampire leg that doesn't cast a shadow?
Or is it possible?
There's a little Photoshop magic.
Now you say to yourself, that background is very distinctive.
Looks real to me.
But I submit to you, it looks like that is a mobile viewing stand and a mobile area where he probably cuts a lot of red tape.
Probably fits that right on his train or whatever, truck.
I think they take it with him.
It looks like they don't build that on the spot.
It looks like that's Kim Jong Un's official platform for cutting stuff.
So, is it possible?
that they've spliced together some real video of Kim Jong-un's face from whenever he was feeling great with some gradier photo that's harder to tell that it's him but you could definitely tell that there's a fertilizer plant and maybe there's a still photograph that's suspiciously unclear why would you have an unclear photograph That's coming from an official source.
Because the video wasn't unclear.
There were no still photos that were nice and clear.
And shadows only apply to one leg, not two.
One of the men had no shadow at all.
He had no shadow between his legs.
He had no shadow to the side.
But another one also had a shadow below, but none to the side.
Three people, same place in relation to the sun.
I'm just saying.
I'm just saying.
So clearly, if you put all the clues together in conspiracy theater, it can only mean one thing, that China, the United States, South Korea, possibly whoever we're talking to in North Korea have decided that until things can be sorted out, We want no kind of information getting out.
The president, of course, would be wise to play along and say, absolutely, glad you're feeling great.
Which is what you say just a few days after saying, I hope things turn out well.
Because that's a pretty fast recovery, isn't it?
From, I hope things turn out well, to, hey, you're looking pretty good.
Getting around great. Pretty fast, wouldn't you say?
And this concludes episode one of Conspiracy Theater, in which, if you believe any of it, it's at your own risk.
I will deny everything.
It didn't happen. None of this happened.
There. So, damn it, somebody says, I would like to take a volunteer.
I need a volunteer who will answer a personal question.
Well, sort of personal.
Nothing that you would necessarily mind saying in front of other people.
The question would be about your internal mental thought processes.
So I'm going to ask you, What you go through in your head in certain situations, what you see, that sort of thing.
So I'm looking for some volunteers who, and I'm not taking questions, right?
I'm going to be asking the questions this time.
So we'll see if somebody's game.
So let's see, let's go with, I think, Mark.
Mark seems like the kind of guy who would answer a question.
Mark, hello.
Are you there?
Hi. Are you game to answer a question about your own mental process?
Sure. All right.
When you're doing simple math in your head, 7 plus 5, describe the process that happens in your head.
I take the 7 and I split the 5, so I add the 3 to get 10 and then add the 2 onto the 10.
And what are you seeing?
Are you seeing digits or are you seeing units or items?
When you say you split it and you add it, what are you seeing?
Digits. Did you hear me?
Digits. Oh, digits.
So you're seeing digits. So you're actually manipulating digits.
Now, let me tell you what I see.
And this is by way of explaining that we're all living on our own reality.
So if I add seven and five, I see dominoes.
And I see, you know, a domino with five on it and a domino with seven dots.
And I just look at them.
But I don't do that with every number.
I just do it with that combination.
All right. When you are planning to drive someplace, and let's say that you're not going to use GPS because it's someplace that you can get to easily enough without GPS, do you picture the entire route, and if so, do you picture it from a bird's eye perspective, a map like you're reading it, or from the car's perspective when you visualize it?
Go. Well, if I'm going somewhere and I've done the trip before, I don't pick for it before I go.
So you don't visualize it, you just drive and take the turns when you know the turns are ready to be taken.
I will always visualize the entire drive, and if I can't visualize it, I'll GPS it.
Even if I've been there a hundred times, I'll be like, okay, why can't I see the whole path?
So there's a difference.
All right. When you make decisions today, let's say big career decisions, etc., Do you visualize yourself in the future as the older version of you in that situation say 20 years from now?
You mean wrinkles and that kind of stuff?
Well, not just the physical part but like every part of it.
Do you visualize yourself in a movie that is you in the future with those decisions you've made working out for you?
I think I visualise how things will work out in terms of likelihood, but I don't actually visualise myself as an older person.
I probably just visualise myself as I am now.
Which is unrealistic but hopefully I never age.
So that's interesting because I saw a study, I forget when, it was a while ago, in which they found that they could convince people to save more for their retirement if they showed the person a digital version of themselves aged so they would be artificially aged and if they could see themselves at an older age they would save more money Because they would be saving for that version of themselves.
But as a concept, if they just thought about it, you know, that future person isn't real.
You know, it's sort of a conceptual you in the future.
So that's interesting.
So maybe you should. All right.
Thanks so much for the call.
Thank you. All right.
Bye. Now...
Alright, so that was male.
Let's do, if we can get the female perspective from Miss Rhetorical.
Let's hope Miss Rhetorical is a real person who is coming on the line.
Miss Rhetorical?
Hi, are you game to answer some questions about your internal thought process?
Yes. Alright, when you are trying to fall asleep, you close your eyes.
Now tell me what you think.
I don't think about anything.
Well, that's impossible.
It's possible not to intentionally think about anything.
Are you saying that you allow whatever thoughts to enter your mind just to do it on their own?
Yes and no.
Okay. Pick one.
Pick one. Is it more yes or more no?
No. So what happens if you have unpleasant thoughts?
Do you just go with it?
No. So you push them out?
Yes. So you do manage your thoughts.
Do you ever imagine, when you're trying to fall asleep, do you imagine the current world or something that will be?
Are you thinking about what could be or will be or your current situation?
You're there in bed.
What will be? And do you think of the positive version of it or do you do the worrying version where you're making lists and worrying about getting everything done tomorrow?
Positive. How often is your positive practical?
Is it like, yeah, that'll work out, or is it really, really positive?
That's funny. No, it's more like dreaming.
More like dreaming like anything's possible, right?
Correct. In your imagination, are you the star of it, and what are you doing?
No, I'm not the star of it.
I usually dream about other people.
Other beings.
Being the star.
You mean other humans?
Yes. Mostly humans.
Yes. So you actually have movies in your head in which you're not one of the actors or you're just not the star?
I'm not the star.
So you're just...
I'm not a star. Oh, wow.
Well, let me tell you, that's a little bit different than my daydreams.
I know it is!
So the audience, what I'm trying to get at here is how different our internal worlds are.
Because the real life that you lead...
It's as much that secret internal one that's the way you process thoughts.
That's the one that you can't share, nobody ever sees.
So if somebody doesn't ask these pretty probing specific questions, you would never know how different it was.
I will tell you that I would never have a daydream in which I was not the personal star of it, because why not?
I'm just making it up. If you can make it up, make yourself the star, because that's what most directly feels good to me.
But I don't think there's a right or wrong to that.
It's just interesting that we have differences.
All right, thanks for the call. And let me take another one.
Let's do...
Let's do...
Oh, man, there's a lot of people on tonight.
All right, let's do Alex.
Alex.
Alex.
Thanks.
Are you there, Alex?
I think it sounds like you had an automobile accident or something.
Alex, are you game to answer some questions about your thought process?
Yeah, can you hear me? Yes, I can.
All right, here's your first question.
Let's say you're with the person of your affection, whoever that might be, and you're just sort of hanging out, and that person takes out their phone, and you don't really feel like looking at your phone, but they're just sitting there looking at their phone.
What is your internal thought process?
Go. I'd say I wonder what they're looking at, and was this more important than me?
More important than what we're doing right now?
Like, who are you talking to that's more important or paying attention to that's more important than what we're doing right now together?
All right. And in your mind, how long can somebody look at their phone, let's say in that situation where it's just the two of you, before it's too long?
Because I think in the modern world, we accept that checking a message is pretty standard.
Would you agree? Yeah, that's standard.
So how long would somebody be checked out on their phone before you start thinking, okay, that's rude?
Give it in seconds or minutes, however you want to express it.
I would say it would be under a minute, but the way for me I think it would be a bigger tell is if I was to ask a question or Try to get them and then they didn't respond or they looked like, you know, when they kind of look away, they go, uh-huh, uh-huh, instead of paying attention to it.
That would be, to me, like, okay, what's going on there?
All right. Here's the next one.
Have you ever had too many drinks?
Yeah. Earlier today.
Like everyone in the world.
Alright, when you've had a few extra drinks, do you think of it as being out of control, or don't you think of it in terms of control at all?
I feel like I'm in complete control when I drink.
And yet some people feel the exact opposite, like they're out of control.
I would say that I artificially feel like I'm in control when I used to drink.
And I was wrong, probably, but I felt like it.
Alright, when you find out that there's something you were positive was true for a long time, let's say in politics, something you thought was really true, then you found out it wasn't.
What's your thought process?
You know what's funny?
Since listening to you for years now, I have a very different Approach to it where I recognize the potential cognitive dissonance that I may experience.
And I now kind of pause and when I'm thinking internally, I'm going, whoa, I can't be wrong.
I pause and I think, wait, could I be wrong?
And I kind of question myself a little bit more now.
So if I find out that I'm 100% wrong, I can accept that.
I find that I'm often delighted because anytime that this is one of those ways to frame your life so the frame I put on an error like that if I'm just like dead wrong about something almost every time there's something valuable you're going to take away from that and you're not going to be wrong the next time because you're going to be alert because the more patterns you see The more capable you are of recognizing the next bad thing coming.
So that's the way I think of it.
All right. Let's see.
One more. There's a hard challenge coming up, but it's one that you know you can succeed at.
It's just hard. Are you excited or just like, ugh?
Uh... I would say it depends on the area, but usually I get a little bit excited.
I sort of thrive when there's a challenge or when I'm under pressure personally.
So anything that is old to me, especially when people say that it can't be done.
For example, I ran a marathon with no training a few months ago and everyone said it's impossible.
And the morning of I was thinking, this is insane.
But yet I just got up and did it.
And I learned a lot about it.
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What was the longest distance you had run, let's say within the last two weeks, before you ran a marathon?
I didn't run. I didn't run at all.
Wait a minute. You're telling me that you just got off the couch and ran a marathon?
I wouldn't say I got off the couch.
I work out, but I do kind of weightlifting.
I don't do anything related to endurance or running.
The most I ever ran was maybe 10 years ago.
I did 10 kilometers when I used to, you know, be younger.
But you trained your legs?
Not really. It's a weird thing.
No, nothing out of the ordinary.
Okay. Yeah, very basic kind of stuff.
Alright, well, that might be the strangest story I've heard tonight.
Alright, so thanks for the call.
I appreciate it. No problem.
Thanks, Scott. Alright, let's do another one.
I want to make sure that in case Christina's on here, I want to see if she's on here.
Nope. Christina, where are you?
Alright, it's time for...
We'll take Judith.
Judith? Judith?
Hello, Judith. Can you hear me?
Judith? That's not working, I guess.
Okay. We will try something else.
How about one more?
But we have to try a female to make it fair, because we're talking about how people are thinking.
So we'll try Jen. So we have half men, half women.
Jen disappeared as soon as I selected her.
I wonder why that happens so often.
Is it because I'm scary?
All right, we'll go for Mark.
Mark, are you there?
May I ask you some questions about your internal thought process?
Absolutely. When you see the weekend coming, do you say to yourself, yay, I've got the weekend, or do you say to yourself, I have to plan and do these things that I don't have to do during the week because it's easy to do my job?
Yeah, I've always enjoyed a weekend ever since I was a kid.
I love the weekend. And are you an extrovert?
I'm an introvert.
You're an introvert who loves the weekend.
Yes. I'm an extroverted introvert.
I can be outgoing when I want to.
Let's say it's Thursday afternoon.
And you're starting to think about the weekend.
How do you hold it in your head?
Do you see little movies of the things you're going to do?
It's like, oh, here's me doing this.
Here's me doing that. Or how do you hold it in your head when you think of the weekend coming?
Well, I always picture everything in movies.
My whole thought process is when I look at things and think about things, I see things as Do you see them in order?
Do you see Friday little movies like they're on the stage sort of arcing around to Sunday?
No, I think about certain items and events that I'm going to do over the weekend and I will think about the ones I'm looking forward to most probably in pictures.
Do you think of them serially or do you sort of almost look down on your schedule and see it filled in and say, oh, there's that morning thing, there's that afternoon thing?
Do you see it like as geography or only think of them one at a time?
Probably more geography.
Interesting. Is that odd?
I don't know. There's so many ways you can do it.
When you're thinking of, let's say you've got three things you've got to do that day and there are three different places.
When you're imagining the three different places, are you more likely to see yourself there or to think of it on a map and say, oh, it's one over here, one over here, one over there?
Think of it more like from the sky.
Which way do you think of it? You probably think of it both ways, but which is dominant?
Probably the map.
I'll kind of have an overview of different places I need to go, and I'll look at it, maybe strategically.
Alright, if somebody's asking you to get for directions to someplace you know, and let's say it's not that far away, and they say how far, Would you answer it in terms of miles or would you answer it in terms of time it would take to get there?
I think I would say miles first.
And are you from the West Coast always?
I am not. I'm from the Kansas City, Missouri area.
Okay, that's the same answer because I once heard that if you grew up around New York, you answer it in time.
Because the traffic is so bad and all that matters is the time.
Yeah. All right.
Thank you for playing. Well, thank you very much.
All right. Take care. All right.
I was just experimenting with that to see if we would have any aha moments.
I was doing that at home with Christina and it was fascinating.
I think maybe it's even better with couples because then those differences are really more meaningful.
But start asking questions of the type that I was asking.
First of all, it's a really good conversation thing because it's so super personal, but it's not the kind of personal people don't want to talk about.
You know, it's like super personal and just sort of scientific, so you just feel like talking about it.
When you find out how differently people visualize things, especially the visual part, it's really remarkable.
Anyway, that's all I've got for you tonight.
Remember, if you want to get to sleep tonight, Remember to close your eyes, squeeze one muscle at a time until it's really, really tight and release it.
Then go to the next muscle until you've squeezed and released all of your major muscles that you can tense while you're laying down.
Then count from 1 to 20.
Maybe even imagining that you're hearing my voice when it happens, optionally.
And when you get to 20, after you do those two things, you're just going to melt into the bed and have the best sleep that you've had in a long time.