Nov. 4, 2019 - Real Coffe - Scott Adams
08:45
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| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| Hey everybody! | |
| I know, I know, it's not my regular time. | |
| But I'm traveling, and I've got meetings, and I've got stuff to do. | |
| I'm on my official book tour for the release of LoserThink. | |
| It's already tearing up the charts. | |
| Tearing up the charts, I say. | |
| And if you don't get a copy, everybody's going to be talking about it, and you'll be left out. | |
| How sad. Well, I wanted to get here early so that I could at least have this available for replay for those people who are looking for me at my normal time. | |
| And, yeah, no, I'm not an early bird. | |
| I'm on the East Coast. | |
| I'm in New York City. | |
| You can hear the sounds of garbage outside my room. | |
| Yes, the actual sounds of garbage. | |
| Turns out my room is directly above a gigantic pile of garbage. | |
| It gets picked up at god-awful times of the day while I listen to garbage sounds. | |
| But anyway, that's not important. | |
| What's important? What's important is a simultaneous sip. | |
| And, you know, it doesn't take much to participate. | |
| Cup, glub? | |
| Glub? What the hell is a glub? | |
| A cup or a mug? | |
| Stein, chalice? | |
| Anything, canteen, doesn't matter what you have. | |
| Get it ready, because it's time for the travel version of the simultaneous sip. | |
| Are you ready? | |
| Go. | |
| Good stuff. | |
| All right, so I have to tell you what happened to me. | |
| So when you do these bookdoers, your publisher puts you up in a hotel. | |
| Now, I don't know how to tell this story without sounding like a gigantic douche, so I'm just going to go ahead and sound like a gigantic douchebag. | |
| The quality of the hotel that your publisher is willing to pay for is a little bit different from the quality of hotel I may have become accustomed to. | |
| But this morning took the cake. | |
| So the whole room is the size of a shoebox. | |
| And the bathroom is about the size of a phone booth. | |
| And the shower has a half wall of glass so that there's no doorway into the shower. | |
| And I look in, and I think to myself, huh, it's a really narrow shower, and the only way you can get to the controls is to go into the shower, into the narrow shower, and stand right in front of the water as it comes on you. | |
| And I think to myself, well, that's no good, because I don't want to turn on my shower and get all this cold water before it gets warm. | |
| So I'm clever. This is what I do. | |
| I say, I'll move the shower head so it's pointing the wall away from me, and then I'll be able to turn it on with all of my clothes on and still be able to get out and dry, and then I'll take my clothes off and it'll be nice and warm when I get in. | |
| Good plan, right? Good plan? | |
| Here's how that plan went. | |
| Turns out that the controls... | |
| A little confusing. And while I thought I was turning on the shower head, which I had cleverly faced the wall, what I was actually doing was turning on the little handheld shower device, which was pointing out the door, completely out of the shower. | |
| So in other words, it had an angle that it could go right out the door and onto the full wall outside in the main bathroom. | |
| I realized this after I turned it on. | |
| So now I'm standing here fully clothed. | |
| And when I say fully clothed, I mean I had long johns on because I went out to get some coffee this morning. | |
| Oh, by the way, I called room service this morning. | |
| They said, we don't have it this morning because our cook didn't come in. | |
| No room service. In New York City, of all things. | |
| So, the water is spraying into the main hallway, and there's quite a bit of it. | |
| It's like running on the floor, and I'm literally flooding my thing. | |
| And I say to myself, there's only one way I can stop this. | |
| I have to go into this shower, right now, fully clothed, with long johns. | |
| So I say to myself, I think I can block the stream with a towel. | |
| So I grab a towel, I hold it in front of me like a shield, and I run in, and I turn off the little handheld thing. | |
| Good plan, right? | |
| Block it with the towel, turn it off. | |
| Well, that was what I intended to do. | |
| What I actually did was turn the control all the way to the left, which activated the shower head. | |
| Now, I tried to turn the shower head, as I said, toward the wall, but it really only went a little millimeter. | |
| So when you're standing fully clothed in a narrow little shower, and you turn on the shower head, turns out you get very wet. | |
| Let me show you. | |
| Hold on. I don't know if you can see, but this is the dry part, and all of this is completely wet. | |
| I'm not sure if you'd hear that because I had the microphone on. | |
| But anyway, I was completely soaked top to bottom after having walked, you know, to get coffee because I didn't have any. | |
| And so the bottom line is I'll be checking out of this hotel right after my meetings today. | |
| That didn't work out so well. | |
| And all last night, literally, I'm right next to a garbage operation that's operating through the night at midnight and stuff. | |
| Anyway, that's not why you're here. | |
| You're here to talk about the events of the day. | |
| I did something very clever this morning on Twitter, if I do say so myself, and I'm going to have to read it to you. | |
| So my complaint with the whole Ukraine impeachment thing is that the Republicans have allowed the Democrats to frame it. | |
| And the way they framed it is that it's a case of Trump, quote, digging up dirt on a rival with a foreign country. | |
| Now, of course, that's no good, right? | |
| If that's how you frame it, then the conversation's already over. | |
| So the Republicans have failed just miserably. | |
| And I would say that the president, he's not having his best game on this either because they allow that framing. | |
| And what did the Republicans say when the Democrats say you're digging up dirt on an opponent with a foreign country? | |
| They don't push back on that. | |
| Instead, they say, well, I don't think the quid pro quo was there, or it doesn't rise the level of... | |
| All wrong. It's all wrong. | |
| You have to attack the frame. | |
| The frame... | |
| And here's an example. | |
| So here are my two tweets. Now, what's funny about the tweets is you have to look at the comments from the people who weighed in who were sure that their side really had a good argument. | |
| And you'll see that they're completely triggered into cognitive dissonance. | |
| I mean, seriously, you have to look at them. | |
| They've almost completely given up on even counterargument. | |
| So let me tell you what I said, and you'll see why it was so devastatingly effective. | |
| So I had two tweets. | |
| Here's one. One tweet was, there were two potential outcomes of the requested Ukraine investigation on Biden. | |
| Either they would find nothing, or they would find behavior that voters in the United States need to know. | |
| So those are the two outcomes, right? |
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