Nov. 29, 2020 - Rubin Report - Dave Rubin
42:06
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Yeah, 100% liberal. | ||
| For sure, for sure. | ||
| And then I actually had a good friend in LA. | ||
| I was staying at her house and we were watching CNN or something before the last election. | ||
| And she's like, you know, me and my whole family vote for Trump. | ||
| And I thought she's a crazy person. | ||
| And I literally thought I probably can't be friends with this person anymore. | ||
| That means she's evil. | ||
| She's a bad human. | ||
| Like I was like, are you guys like racist? | ||
| Knowing her boyfriend is a black man, I thought it was weird. | ||
| And eventually I realized, oh no, her family just owns a bunch of businesses and employs a lot of people. | ||
| Oh, okay, that makes sense for them why they would support him. | ||
| And then I started to see the unraveling of all the things I've been taught. | ||
| You go to enough parties in Hollywood, you learn they're all douchebags. | ||
| It's just, it is what it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
98%, you know? | |
| The ones who live in Texas most of the time, they're pretty dope. | ||
| Yeah, but I started seeing that every single thing that these people pretend they are, they're actually the polar opposite. | ||
| I'm Dave Rubin and this is The Rubin Report. | ||
| Joining me today is a comedian, a social media superstar, and a renegade entertainer, Nicole Arbor, finally! | ||
| Welcome to The Rubin Report. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hi! | |
| Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. | ||
| This is finally, it's finally! | ||
| It is finally, finally is now. | ||
| All right, I'm really happy to have you here because I did not know you. | ||
| I didn't know who you were. | ||
| Now I know you a little bit, although we've only done it with this stupid digital stuff. | ||
| We haven't met in person yet. | ||
| But I didn't know you until my book came out, and then I was doing all this press stuff, and you were one of the people that I did an Instagram Live with, and I immediately turned to my producer, Michael, after, and I was like, I need to know this girl. | ||
| We need to be friends. | ||
| She's just great, and fun, and happy, and you care about politics, but it doesn't dictate your life, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| So for the people that know nothing about you, let's just introduce Nicole Arbor. | ||
| Who is Nicole Arbor? | ||
| What is she all about? | ||
| Oh, that's a good one. | ||
| Thank you for the compliments. | ||
| Hi, I'm Nicole Arbor. | ||
| I'm from Canada, but then legal immigrant to America, holler holler. | ||
| Did stand up for tons of years after a bad car accident, ended up doing stuff online because I still could. | ||
| And yeah, I'm over I'm over 80 viral videos now doing comedy straight to camera and I freaking love it. | ||
| I also on the my other secret life side work with every major brand you can think of and I've worked with every social media platform you can think of either on the dev team secretly helping develop different strategies for them or marketing advertising and it's the best and I have a lot of fun. | ||
| I have a lot of fun. | ||
| Well, you are having fun and you're happy in the midst of all this. | ||
| And you're kind of one of those people that I feel like, you're not really like a pure political beast, but when I open up Twitter or I open up Instagram, I have a very short list of people that I think are like kind of sane these days, you know? | ||
| And you're on that list. | ||
| Did you always care about politics? | ||
| Did you just get kind of thrown into politics? | ||
| I've always cared about it. | ||
| I was in politics when I was 18 years old. | ||
| My very first official, official job was I was voted into this like junior prime minister of Canada role in Canada. | ||
| I was working for the federal government, making way more money than my friends were, working at like MPP and MP's offices, so kind of like our senators. | ||
| And people wanted me to go into politics. | ||
| I actually had a scholarship for political science if I went through the Liberal Party of Canada. | ||
| And I went, "No, I'm gonna be a comedian. | ||
| It's about the same." | ||
| The same, yeah. | ||
| And then, like seriously though. | ||
| So I really started getting into it again a couple of years ago because everyone started | ||
| going nuts after Trump. | ||
| And specifically, I told this story a few times. | ||
| Two nights before the last election, I was on a platform speaking at USC. | ||
| I was on a panel talking about social media, how it's working through the election, stuff like that. | ||
| And people from Hillary Clinton's campaign came up to me right before I went on, these large men in suits, and they told me that I'm going to say on stage that I'm voting for Hillary. | ||
| And I was like, well, I'm a Canadian, first of all, so I'm not voting for anyone. | ||
| I don't get to. | ||
| They don't care about that. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| They don't care about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like I'm here to talk about, I was the first people monetized on Facebook and like how it all works and you know, that kind of stuff. | ||
| And they're like, Oh, we really strongly suggest you say this. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And I recognize the one dude because he worked on Bill Clinton's campaign years ago. | ||
| And I was just like, yeah, no, I'm not gonna. | ||
| And once I'm on stage doing the talk with everyone, they put the words in my mouth. | ||
| So they said on the mic, you know, Nicole is just backstage saying that she can't vote this election, but she would for Hillary. | ||
| And that was just like my freaking switch in my head. | ||
| I was like, you motherfuckers. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| All right. | ||
| You're going to put words in my mouth. | ||
| And then I saw the media over the last few years. | ||
| I saw all the late night hosts I've grown up loving and looking up to just being complete shitheads and spreading lies. | ||
| I was like, I'm going to start swinging at you guys. | ||
| You won't see it coming. | ||
| And I'll take you out in four episodes. | ||
| So that's kind of where I'm at. | ||
| I just got pissed. | ||
| So I'm like, OK, I'll start talking politics. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I totally did not know that about you. | ||
| So when they, when they did this, when they intro'd you at USC like that, did you say anything when you got on stage or were you just too nervous or you just wanted to get? | ||
| Oh no, I did. | ||
| I did. | ||
| And I was like, I definitely didn't say that, but hey, like I kept it sarcastic, but the same people wanted me to do an interview with David Hogg. | ||
| Who I am not a fan of. | ||
| I kind of think he's made a career off the, you know, dead students in his class. | ||
| I've inquired to see how much he charges for appearances and I think a kid getting $30,000 to talk about his friends, maybe his friends, being shot at school is pretty grotesque. | ||
| How much of that are you giving to the families? | ||
| Right? $30,000! | ||
| How much of that's going to the families? | ||
| How much of your activism is actually activating anything? | ||
| And not a fan of the kid. | ||
| I think he's a dick. | ||
| So I was still going to do the interview. | ||
| I do. | ||
| It's what I think. | ||
| Sad that that happened to you. | ||
| It's tragic. | ||
| But kid's a dick. | ||
| So I was going to do the interview. | ||
| And his, like one of the other fathers that were part of the shooting, they think they're giant celebrities now. | ||
| And they stood up all of their interviews that day. | ||
| They just, oh, sorry, we're busy. | ||
| We're going to a dinner. | ||
| So there's these camera crews and these people and we're like, we came here to do an interview. | ||
| It took hours to get to this location in LA and they went to a dinner instead. | ||
| So do you care about your message or are you just trying to be famous? | ||
| And yeah, that started it. | ||
| And they still reach out to me, that group of people to be like, Hey, Nicole, can you help us for this election? | ||
| I'm like, no. | ||
| I think you're dicks and I see you lying constantly. | ||
| So you've made an enemy and I'm going to beat you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the beauty is, I mean, as you're saying this and you're smiling is you really do do it through comedy. | ||
| Like if you want to tell people the truth and not get punched in the face, you got to do it through comedy, right? | ||
| That's a, that's just kind of the way you got to do it. | ||
| And that you really have mastered that. | ||
| But I'm curious, did you, Were you kind of right before then? | ||
| Because I want to get to when you kind of came out for Trump, but were you always- We both had our- Yeah, yeah. | ||
| We had kind of similar events, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But like, what were you before? | ||
| Did you consider yourself liberal, conservative, blah, blah, blah? | ||
| So liberal. | ||
| This is my liberal sweater, by the way, or at least liberal media. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is like fricking CNN reporters all over it. | |
| Yeah, 100% liberal. | ||
| For sure, for sure. | ||
| And then I actually had a good friend in LA. | ||
| I was staying at her house and we were watching CNN or something before the last election. | ||
| And she's like, you know, me and my whole family vote for Trump. | ||
| And I thought she's a crazy person. | ||
| And I literally thought I probably can't be friends with this person anymore. | ||
| That means she's evil. | ||
| She's a bad human. | ||
| Like I was like, are you guys like racist? | ||
| Knowing her boyfriend is a black man. | ||
| I thought it was weird. | ||
| And eventually I realized, oh no, her family just owns a bunch of businesses and employs a lot of people. | ||
| Oh, okay, that makes sense for them why they would support him. | ||
| And then I started to see the unraveling of all the things I've been taught. | ||
| You go to enough parties in Hollywood, you learn they're all douchebags. | ||
| It's just, it is what it is. | ||
| 98%, you know? | ||
| The ones who live in Texas most of the time, they're pretty dope. | ||
| Yeah, but I started seeing that every single thing that these people pretend they are, they're actually the polar opposite. | ||
| And I went, well, what's the opposite of asshole? | ||
| I kind of want to go that way. | ||
| And I saw, I caught, you know, even Jimmy Kimmel, I caught him multiple times lying in stories. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Total lie. | ||
| And I actually was responsible for outing him twice, he probably hates me, in the last year because I was like, wait a minute, that doesn't seem right. | ||
| I'd go to C-SPAN and watch the full uncut footage and then I'd do a quick video on it and be like, Jimmy Kimmel, did you just lie to your entire audience? | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| And he did. | ||
| And then he issued an apology a couple days later on Twitter. | ||
| He was lying about Mike Pence in one of them. | ||
| But the more I saw this, the more I was like, motherfuckers tricked me. | ||
| You tricked me! | ||
| Doesn't it seem crazy to you that you have to, like, fact-check comedians as a comedian? | ||
| Like, if you would have said that to any, like, eight-year-old who wants to be a comedian, and your job will be to fact-check comedians through comedy, you'd be like, what the F are you talking about? | ||
| Right? | ||
| You can swear with me, it's okay. | ||
| I saw you tell Ben Shapiro to swear. | ||
| I've told him to swear multiple times, too. | ||
| I was being hosty there. | ||
|
unidentified
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But I would like Ben to say, fuck, yes, I would. | |
| Yeah, same. | ||
| Just like, just once and then we can put it on a loop and turn it into songs? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Well, it's ridiculous because I don't want to fact check their jokes. | ||
| I don't give a shit about their jokes. | ||
| Be funny. | ||
| Satire. | ||
| Do it. | ||
| Even though Facebook is censoring jokes now, which is kind of weird. | ||
| But I never thought I'd have to fact check the premise of their joke. | ||
| You know, like, Nicole Arbor dyed her hair black. | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| I wouldn't do that. | ||
| That's a sign I'm depressed. | ||
| Check on me. | ||
| Yeah, I don't like it. | ||
| And it got real weird. | ||
| And then it got so weird that I started researching myself. | ||
| Like, I was like, okay, these crazy gone Americans. | ||
| And I flew down and I hung out with the Black Rifle Coffee guys about two years ago this time. | ||
| And I was like, OK, yeah, they're crazy, but they're the crazy that will rush in if there's an issue and save you. | ||
| We kind of need those crazies, you know? | ||
| They're not going to use that gun on me or some random. | ||
| They're going to defend you if we need it. | ||
| They're that crazy, which is like a good crazy. | ||
| And then I was scared of guns, so I went to Terran Tactical, and I got trained on guns. | ||
| And it was actually the military who hooked me up with them. | ||
| And I was like, oh, I see why people love doing this as a hobby. | ||
| It's dope. | ||
| I've been like twitching while I was in Canada and I couldn't shoot anything. | ||
| And then I started going through all the things that, okay, Trump supporters are racist. | ||
| I saw that they're not. | ||
| Trump supporters are anti-American. | ||
| They're this, they're that. | ||
| They're against gay people. | ||
| I'm like, well, I kind of feel like I might be a Trump supporter based on what they believe, and I've helped organize World Pride multiple times. | ||
| I was on a freaking float beside Jonathan Van Ness a year ago in LA for the Pride parade. | ||
| That guy's pretty gay. | ||
| He's very gay. | ||
| He's like, on the gay spectrum, he's like the gayest. | ||
| He makes Carson Kressley look like Walter Cronkite. | ||
| How is that for a reference? | ||
| I don't know who those people are. | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| He does seem like he's about to explode into glitter at any moment, which I love, but I saw him even lie. | ||
| He said in a live stream recently, he's like, all Trump supporters are homophobic and they hate gay people and they're against the LGBTQ community. | ||
|
unidentified
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I was like, bitch, I helped build your float. | |
| Like if I suddenly wanted to vote for Trump, it doesn't change that I think you can get married to whoever you want and be happy and I love you and I'm going to dance with you in the parade. | ||
| It just, it got so obvious and ridiculous and just purely absurd that I was like, one side seems crazy and the other side seems like values. | ||
| Yeah, but isn't it weird because, I mean, one of the things that I love about you is that you've been open about your evolution and you've just kind of gone where good people are and that kind of thing, which is very, very much what I did as well. | ||
| Like you just kind of were like, Well, wait a minute, all the bad guys actually seem like the good guys and the people who are always telling you they're the good guys, they don't seem that great or that tolerant or that diverse or anything else. | ||
| But I've never done this on the Rubin Report before, but I would like you to pick up your phone right now. | ||
| And I am gonna ask you to quote yourself. | ||
| We're gonna put up the image, but I want Nicole Arbor to do her best Nicole Arbor impersonation because I believe it was the day before the election. | ||
| Am I right? | ||
| The day before the election, I think it was the day before or like two days before. | ||
| Or maybe two days before. | ||
| You put up a post on Instagram that I thought just absolutely encapsulated so much of why people that you would never think traditionally would have voted for Trump or would have voted Republican or conservative, why they did it. | ||
| And so now Nicole Arbor, this is Nicole Arbor as Nicole Arbor. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Go team. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That was my impression of me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I said, and I meant this, I said because one day I'll be telling my grandkids to stand up for what they believe when I didn't. | ||
| Because I believe black people can vote however they want and speaking down to them is racist. | ||
| Because I am and will forever be against censorship of any kind. | ||
| It's dangerous, it's wrong, and it's anti-American. | ||
| Because Democrat-run cities are falling to pieces like a zombie movie. | ||
| Because for four years I was called a Trump supporter as an insult. | ||
| I wasn't at the time, but it was used as the worst thing you could call someone and a quick jab by people who call themselves liberals. | ||
| The way they treat anyone with different views is actually discrimination and isn't liberal at all. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| No different from not liking someone because of their race or religion. | ||
| Because logic over feelings. | ||
| Because I grew up admiring the American dream, and he's the closest choice to restore it for everyone, not just those who say the script and fall in line. | ||
| Ah, here comes the good part. | ||
| Because most celebs are full of shit. | ||
| Because peace deals and new partnerships. | ||
| Because he stood in the face of lie after lie, media hit peace after media hit peace. | ||
| Because a flawed leader is refreshingly real. | ||
| Because he didn't start a single war. | ||
| Because Biden sniffs little girls and is clearly unfit mentally to lead a Boy Scout troop, let alone a country. | ||
| Because Trump will lead North America, not just America, to the best four years we've seen. | ||
| And because my friends and family, and you, can disagree, and I'll still be cool with you because this side allows conversation. | ||
| That's kind of how giant peace deals were signed. | ||
| I'm Nicole Arbor, I'm a libertarian, and I endorse Donald J. Trump for president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yay! | |
| Nicole, you do a fine Nicole. | ||
| Reading myself is hard. | ||
| I started sweating. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that right there and the way you did it, like just so human and real and like, not like I'm this crazy extremist and all that stuff. | ||
| I just, I really just thought it was perfect. | ||
| And yes, when you give it to the celebrities who are just so full of shit. | ||
| I mean, I live in this town. | ||
| I live in LA. | ||
| I know these people. | ||
| They're not good people. | ||
| They're just, they're just not. | ||
| They're gonna tell you. | ||
| I have one story. | ||
| I don't know if I should tell it. | ||
| You tell me if I should tell it. | ||
| You must tell it. | ||
| There was a female celebrity that a lot of people know. | ||
| Oh, here we go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Here we go. | ||
| All right. | ||
| There was a female comedian celebrity. | ||
| I will say the name at the end because it's more fun as a reveal. | ||
| Okay, good. | ||
| That a couple, two years ago, when there was the giant fires in Malibu, I saw her post on her social media that there was a bunch of animals trapped at the Malibu Wine Safari, like trapped in the fires, couldn't get out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I was part of a search and rescue team just because I'm a Canadian and this is what we naturally do. | ||
| Um, so I went and I told this search and rescue team, Hey, I just got this tip about this. | ||
| Look at this story. | ||
| Truckloads of us went up into the mountains during the fires with these giant animal crates. | ||
| We were like, Oh, we have to rescue this draft. | ||
| We have to get all these animals. | ||
| So we had to get all these big animal containers that they usually use for zoos or to transfer animals. | ||
| There was, I think there was like 10 or something of us going up there. | ||
| It took an hour to get in through the fires. | ||
| We get there ready to rescue these animals and they were fine. | ||
| They were never at any point in danger. | ||
| It was alive. | ||
| It was totally social justice warrioring all over the interwebs. | ||
| And the zookeeper was in tears. | ||
| This tiny little Mexican man that this is his whole life. | ||
| He came out running in his socks, crying, and he's like, please stop taking photos and stuff with my animals and pretending that they're being abused. | ||
| This girl came here earlier, said she was going to try and help raise money for us to rebuild because the buildings were burned down, but not the animals. | ||
| And she took all these selfies and stuff and he let her, and then she released them to the press as if something bad happened to these animals and they were abused. | ||
| I came back. | ||
| I felt so bad for these people. | ||
| I came back the next day with the press. | ||
| Walked around with the fire chief who said that the place was so safe he would have put his men where they had their animals during the fire. | ||
| The SPCA came with us. | ||
| All the press came with us and walked around the entire property to show what she had said's a lie because she was told business. | ||
| Turns out she had a personal vendetta against the business. | ||
| It's Whitney Cummings. | ||
|
unidentified
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This does not surprise me. | |
| Yeah, well, I listened to her and I put the lives of like 10, it was like 10 to 12 people. | ||
| Our lives are literally in danger. | ||
| We knew that it was a scary situation. | ||
| And I saw her post and I believed her and I went into the fucking fires to save all these creatures. | ||
| Frickin Noah's Ark over here. | ||
| And they were fine. | ||
| And then she wouldn't tell the press that she had exaggerated. | ||
| She's like, well, there was blood in his nose. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, the draft got a nosebleed because there was a fire around him. | ||
| It's dry. | ||
| And then she called and apologized to me at one point and said, you know, I shouldn't have responded like that to you, whatever. | ||
| And I'm like, okay, we can be cool. | ||
| Again, me being Canadian. | ||
| Then I meet her in person and she was a total douchebag to me as if it was my fault for revealing that the thing she made up wasn't real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I'm just like, geez, these social justice warriors are dickheads. | |
| You almost killed people because you have a personal vendetta against the wine safari, like whatever it was. | ||
| Yeah, it started for me there, I'm telling you. | ||
| Can we do a little bit of the what happened to comedians kind of thing? | ||
| We talked about Kimmel a little bit. | ||
| That's like late night TV, a certain set, a certain level of them. | ||
| But what the hell has happened to comedians? | ||
| There are basically no funny comics anymore. | ||
| I wanna do some standup stuff with you. | ||
| We were talking about it before this, and then the whole stupid lockdown thing. | ||
| But watching some of these people that used to be funny, Sarah Silverman, Cummings, it happens, Amy Schumer, like it happens to be a lot of females, but it's the men too. | ||
| I mean, they've all, Patton Oswalt, all of these people that have just gone totally bananas. | ||
| Like, did you see it coming? | ||
| Did you see it coming? | ||
| I didn't see it coming. | ||
| I didn't. | ||
| And it like, for a little, like, I don't know if you can see who's over my shoulder. | ||
| This is like my wall of heroes back here. | ||
| Yeah, oh yeah. | ||
| Carlin, God, if he was alive right now, Well, of course, but they'd be saying he's an old, white, rich man. | ||
| I mean, that's what they'd be calling him while he'd be fighting the power. | ||
| Accurate. | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| I kind of love everything that's happened to stand-up and to comedy and this whole like, everything is wrong stand up for blah blah blah shut up Amy Schumer showing up to the woman's march with your supermodel friend to pose in her belly top saying don't objectify women while she twerks for money in a thong shut the fuck up all of you shut the fuck up get out of the way but because they're so crazy it made a new breed of comics and I'm so happy. | ||
| I swear, like, the day after the election, I saw all of the comedians just kind of, like, snap. | ||
| All the really good ones. | ||
| I'm talking, like, Andrew Schultz. | ||
| God, he's so good. | ||
| I'm talking, like, who else? | ||
| Like, Chris DiStefano. | ||
| Do you know him? | ||
| I don't. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| Oh, you need to. | ||
| You're going to love him. | ||
| I saw them kind of like snap to I saw all these comedians just like this little spark went in their eyes like we give up we've been over okay we're going and everyone's just been like going and it's been really fun to watch and I think it cracked people to where comedy is just gonna go boom again So you think we'll have a boom in comedy because it was so bad and so, you know, social justice, virtue signaling, lefty nonsense, that you think after now we're gonna have like a second explosion, like an 80s explosion or something? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| I'm thinking even someone like a John Crist. | ||
| I don't know if you know him. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| Oh, people really knew him for more, like, kind of Christian comedy, and he kind of stays in that, like, hilarious and witty safe space of the Christian comedy. | ||
| His last, like, eight videos have just been lethal, and he's just, like, going after the leftists. | ||
| And I'm like, okay. | ||
| Like, everyone is just starting to hammer on it, because it's so ridiculous. | ||
| And I've decided, I have, like, thrown out all my other plans for 2021. | ||
| I'm doing a late night show. | ||
| Good. | ||
| I have multiple offers. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Do it. | ||
| I'm excited. | ||
| I'm gonna have to come on. | ||
| I'm just gonna go right at them. | ||
| I'm gonna take them out. | ||
| I have offers from multiple networks right now, and we'll see where I land, but I'm out for blood. | ||
| I'm gonna take them out. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I'm beyond thrilled to hear that, and I will gladly do the show, and that would be awesome. | ||
| And I would love to tour with you when we could get this, when this lunacy ends at some point. | ||
| Right before we started, you told me something's going down with the Washington Post, was it? | ||
| My god! | ||
| Okay, so this is fun because I do have my secret tech life. | ||
| I get calls a lot from magazines or whoever just about new tech that's out. | ||
| And Parler, I'm sure we're both familiar with Parler. | ||
| Straight up, it's a dope app. | ||
| When I did a dive into it, I was disgustingly impressed. | ||
| I know the features that they have rolling out in January. | ||
| I'm not allowed to say yet, but they're great. | ||
| Anything I could have wanted, they have coming. | ||
| User-friendly. | ||
| You can monetize it already once you hit 50,000 followers. | ||
| It's dope. | ||
| If I were the other platforms, I'd be a little bit nervous. | ||
| And I talked to the Washington Post about it. | ||
| I'm looking at her name. | ||
| What's her name? | ||
| Oh, Rachel Lerman. | ||
| And I did an interview with her about tech and that platform specifically. | ||
| And her only follow-up questions for me were, Where do you live? | ||
| She wanted to know what cities I live in and wanted me to confirm I'm a Trump supporter. | ||
| What do those have to do with me speaking to her about tech and about the applications and how brands can use it to sell their products? | ||
| Nothing, it's nothing. | ||
| So... Does anything surprise you at this point when it comes to the media? | ||
| You're all over the media too. | ||
| I mean, just like, is there anything that they could do at this point that you would consider shocking or a new low? | ||
| It's like, there's just no there there. | ||
| There's no bottom to this bottomless pit. | ||
| They can just drop the act and get in a circle and just jerk each other off. | ||
| Like just like, just drop the facade. | ||
| We all know what you guys do. | ||
| I remember a couple days back, I think it was Giuliani was just laying into them in a press conference, and that was funny shit. | ||
| I think it's, mock them back to their faces, do it! | ||
| You saw that moment when at the press conference, Giuliani, he says, where are you from? | ||
| The girl goes, CNN, and then Giuliani, Powell, and Jenna Ellis, all the Trump's lawyers, they just start laughing, because CNN has become a punchline. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's a punchline. | ||
| And it reminds me of when there was those first round of riots, and they went after the CNN building, and I was just like, look, I hope nobody's inside. | ||
| Oh, it's fun. | ||
| Like, in all of the chaos, there always come some new sprouts of hope, and I really think comedy's gonna swing the other way now, and I'm excited to go punch it at all of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How have you managed, like, what do you think it is about you that manages to keep you happy and sane throughout this? | ||
| Because I've seen so many of friends, colleagues, family members, blah, blah, blah, that have just, even the ones that kinda get it, that are basically sane, but they're just crushed by all of this all the time. | ||
| And you're not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's silly. | |
| I'm not. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| I don't like violence. | ||
| When those things erupt, I get a little affected by that, because I know that the other side has a lot of guns. | ||
| And the people that you keep poking at, they're a big fucking bear. | ||
| And you poke one too many times, they're going to bite you, and it's not going to be cute. | ||
| So that's the only thing that scares me. | ||
| But outside of that, I've been through real pain. | ||
| I spent most of my 20s disabled, on disability, in bed most of the time. | ||
| What was that? | ||
| Yeah, car accident. | ||
| And see, I even smile when I say it. | ||
| A lot of people know this about me. | ||
| A lot of people don't. | ||
| But 2008, I had a bad car accident after a show. | ||
| And most of my 20s were lost. | ||
| And it was between treatments, chronic pain, physical disabilities. | ||
| I crushed my own teeth in my mouth from TMJ, so bad from nerve pain. | ||
| It was horrific. | ||
| I wouldn't wish it on anyone. | ||
| I don't think it could get much worse than it was. | ||
| And I've come back from it when I wasn't supposed to. | ||
| So when stupid shit happens, or people who are offended by nonsense, or pretend that animals are dying in a fire. | ||
| Have you not suffered for real? | ||
| Like, it just doesn't affect me the same way. | ||
| I'm like, in the pandemic and all this stuff with politics, I'm like, there's people losing their businesses. | ||
| That's the most important, let's help them. | ||
| You're complaining about what today? | ||
| Okay, you need to shut the fuck up. | ||
| There needs to be like a mute button, I think on all of social media, that if people are talking about nonsense, we just mute them for everybody. | ||
| Yeah, well, there is a mute button. | ||
| Yeah, but like for the whole world. | ||
| No, you get muted today. | ||
| I saw people going at Dan Crenshaw a couple days ago too. | ||
| And I'm just like, just stop. | ||
| Let's just not. | ||
| Dan Crenshaw, the most solid dude, freaking stoic beast of a man. | ||
| Maybe he's not right all the time, but I think it always comes from a good place. | ||
| You're going to try and cancel him and go at him on Twitter? | ||
| You're all muted. | ||
| You're muted for the day. | ||
| Everybody who did that. | ||
| There should be a 20 period of, okay, shh. | ||
| Do you see any way- Censorship. | ||
| No, no, I know you don't want them jailed and sent to the gulag and booted. | ||
| You just want them, you just don't want to have to listen to them. | ||
| I can appreciate that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I try not to use words I can't spell. | ||
| So gulag is one of them. | ||
| G-U-L-A-G. | ||
| You can do that. | ||
| Come on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I'm writing it down. | ||
| Write that down. | ||
| Write that down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I'm doing it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So I want to mention one other thing about the election and now I'm going to read as Nicole Arbor. | ||
| How does that sound? | ||
| I can't wait for your impression. | ||
| I hope it's awesome. | ||
| It's not gonna go well. | ||
| We're gonna put the image up. | ||
| So this is a tweet that you sent out on November 15th. | ||
| The election was November 3rd. | ||
| So 12 days after the election, you sent out this tweet, which I shared and it really caught fire. | ||
| And I think, and I've seen other people steal it, by the way, since then, where they've just copied and pasted and not credited you. | ||
| But here we go. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| I'm not, I'm gonna do, this is Dave Rubin as Dave Rubin reading Nicole Arbor. | ||
| Number one, election is held. | ||
| Number two, citizens' votes are counted. | ||
| Number three, participants may contest procedures. | ||
| You are here, and that's in caps. | ||
| Number four, results are certified. | ||
| Number five, elector votes are cast. | ||
| Number six, elector votes are counted. | ||
| Number seven, winner is declared. | ||
| Some think you are here. | ||
| When I saw this tweet, I was like, ah! | ||
| It's the perfect illustration of everyone being confused about everything, because even people that I know that are bright political people are pretending that we're at number seven, that just because the AP and CNN said something, that that means we're there. | ||
| But we ain't there. | ||
| We ain't there. | ||
| Isn't it kind of weird that we have to explain? | ||
| I am not from America. | ||
| Why do I know this? | ||
| In Canada, we learn both American and Canadian political procedures. | ||
| And I knew that. | ||
| I know that those are the steps. | ||
| And a fan actually sent me the steps. | ||
| And I was like, yeah, OK, I'm going to tweet it like this. | ||
| But why don't Americans know that? | ||
| It's kind of weird. | ||
| And it's kind of silly that we're flipping out. | ||
| You've got to go to second base before you go home. | ||
| What are you guys doing? | ||
| Right, like, baseball 101. | ||
| We gotta do this in a certain order. | ||
| I think the reason for that, actually, is because a lot of people want to be at seven so badly, whether we're supposed to be there or not, that they're just saying, okay, we're at three. | ||
| Yeah, those are the guys who roll off you and go, oh, did you have fun too? | ||
| You came, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's like, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's how I feel about them. | |
| Who do you trust? | ||
| I just pictured Harry Styles in a dress. | ||
| Who do I trust? | ||
| Well, how do you make some sense of all this stuff? | ||
| I'm always looking around when I find voices that seem kind of sane and interesting and somewhat trustworthy. | ||
| How do you find people? | ||
| People literally come up to me at the supermarket and they'll be like, Dave, you're the only one I trust. | ||
| And I'm always like, well shit, we got a big problem here. | ||
| People say that to me too. | ||
| They're like, you're the only one that tells the truth. | ||
| And I really pride myself on that. | ||
| I'll keep telling the truth and throwing in my silliness. | ||
| And the fun part is that I love being wrong because then I get to learn the right thing. | ||
| So I don't even care if I'm wrong. | ||
| But I trust, I'd say I trust you. | ||
| I trust Ben Shapiro minus 10% because I'll just make up for the silly because it's in there. | ||
| I trust Rogan's show, Joe Rogan's show. | ||
| And it's not even that I trust their opinions. | ||
| I just trust that they like to learn. | ||
| So his guests and him, they'll work their way through shit. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| I trust Erica, who is the CEO of Barstool Sports and pretty much the whole Barstool Sports crew. | ||
| I think they tell it like it is too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's kind of crazy that Barstool has to be so involved in politics though, right? | ||
| It's really funny. | ||
| It's really, really funny. | ||
| And this is why I'm saying, the pendulum's coming back. | ||
| When the people who are supposed to be serious have gone... | ||
| Then the crazies are gonna have to take over, and we're running the asylum, and we have more experience. | ||
| This is the thing. | ||
| They don't get it. | ||
| When we go crazy, we're gonna be way better than them. | ||
| But are you afraid that if Trump does not pull off this stuff with the lawsuits and stuff, and Biden becomes president, that at that point, why wouldn't big tech just get rid of all of us? | ||
| They're calling us all Nazis anyway. | ||
| The entire political establishment will say, you're a bunch of Nazi Trump supporters. | ||
| You're not a Nazi? | ||
| I don't like to say it publicly, obviously. | ||
| Okay, okay. | ||
| I was under the impression. | ||
| Nicole, it's on YouTube. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Yeah, I'm so sorry. | ||
| Like, I thought you were, like, a gay Nazi. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My bad. | ||
| But really, are you afraid of that? | ||
| You've built your life and career and all that goodness on the pipes of YouTube and Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and all that. | ||
| Are you worried that January 20 rolls around, Biden's president, and within the next couple of weeks, why would big tech not just boot everybody who's deplorable and a bad guy and a Nazi and the rest of it? | ||
| Because money, they like money. | ||
| Everything they do is, this is where my tech nerd side comes in, everything they do is to keep people on that platform longer and to keep them looking at more ads and watching more videos and earning them more ad revenue. | ||
| They have no reason to get rid of 70 something million people like this. | ||
| Like they're not going to infinity wars us because they like our money. | ||
| You know? | ||
| They like our eyeballs. | ||
| They want to do it. | ||
| So I don't think it's going to happen. | ||
| It's not in their best interests. | ||
| And this is what I hope TV networks learn. | ||
| Too many thoughts at once. | ||
| Red Bull. | ||
| Sweet Jesus. | ||
| Slow down, woman. | ||
| I'm trying, I'm trying. | ||
| They're just playing to one side, and there's 70 other million people to entertain. | ||
| You dumbasses. | ||
| Guess what all those people do? | ||
| They buy toilet paper. | ||
| They buy makeup. | ||
| They buy hair products. | ||
| You clearly do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's, wow, it's amazing. | ||
| If we toured together, I mean the hair game if we toured together would be seriously like... Strong! | ||
| Let's just have our hair on t-shirts, like just the outlines of our hair. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| That'd be fun. | ||
| Nicole and Dave. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks! | |
| Nicole and Dave. | ||
| That's my brother's name too, so it's fun. | ||
| Yeah, I just think it would be really stupid of them, economically, to not start playing to the other half of America and North America. | ||
| People forget that Canadians very much follow American politics and chime in on it because we're attached, wear your hat. | ||
| And yeah, that's what I think. | ||
| What's going on with your guy up there, Trudeau? | ||
| You must love that guy, huh? | ||
| That robot malfunctioned a while ago. | ||
| We gotta, like, hearing him, In between doing blackface, telling us how to be good people, it's too much for me. | ||
| He talks in a fake robot voice now. | ||
| It's just too much. | ||
| How did he win a re-election? | ||
| Because most Western countries, and now it's a little up in the air with the US, but in the last five years, most Western countries, they went to the right. | ||
| But you guys, you went the other way, and now he's talking great reset. | ||
| the humanoid that he is. | ||
| Great reset. | ||
| Okay, bring it. | ||
| Which is probably why I get at least a hundred people asking me every day to run for prime minister. | ||
| And they're not kidding. | ||
| And I've had financial backers ask me if I would do it. | ||
| They want me to run for governor of California now. | ||
| You see how stupid is this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, Arnold kind of broke the mold for us like years ago. | |
| So that's pretty good. | ||
| I don't wanna be prime minister. | ||
| The salary cap is 180,000 Canadian. | ||
| That's frankly like, nah. | ||
| For all that pressure, that's like $23 American, not into it. | ||
| But yeah, that takes me down another tangent. | ||
| That's why we get people like that. | ||
| Yeah, but what do you think of Trudeau? | ||
| What is happening in Canada? | ||
| He's gonna be out soon. | ||
| The thing is, we just didn't care enough. | ||
| follow American politics more than we follow Canadian politics. | ||
| It just is what it is. | ||
| Yours is more entertaining. | ||
| It's more fun. | ||
| The characters are better. | ||
| It's a good reality show. | ||
| Ours is kind of like, and we're too polite. | ||
| There's not a lot of fighting in our house of commons. | ||
| And we just kind of let things skirt by until suddenly this douchebag is talking about the great reset and his robot voice. | ||
| Um, then it's getting a little weird. And he's fighting with | ||
| the Premier of Ontario about giving the cash advances to small businesses that they | ||
| promised over a month ago. | ||
| Then I'm like, okay, who are we tagging in here? Because now someone has to go take this guy out, | ||
| like election-wise, not like take him out. | ||
| I got it. | ||
| You're not calling for the assassination of Justin Trudeau. | ||
| I am not calling for the assassination of Justin Trudeau. | ||
| Facebook, did you hear that? | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| I've gotten in trouble for jokes before with Facebook. | ||
| Listen, the Media Matters people, they watch this show with a keen eye waiting for me to pause the wrong way or for one of my guests to accidentally say something because Skype freaked out for a moment. | ||
| So we have to be very careful you do not - Is that true? | ||
| Yeah, these people are pathetic, ridiculous fools. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, tell me what you really think. | |
| At least they didn't send you to your fiery death to rescue horses that were fine. | ||
| You see, there you go. | ||
| Wait, do you guys think it's a little weird, you guys, you Canadians? | ||
| We don't really understand you people up north. | ||
| Do you guys think it's weird the way that we, that it seems like our issues have been imported into Canadian shores? | ||
| Because every gig that I did in Canada, and when I was with Jordan and when I've done solo gigs, People are crazed and starving for the types of things that I talk about, and I did an event with... | ||
| Maxine Bernier, who was the People's Party of Canada, you know, basically the libertarian candidate for prime minister. | ||
| And we did an event and Antifa was there and they were throwing things and attacking us and screaming Nazi. | ||
| That video, you probably saw that video of the woman with the walker trying to cross the street. | ||
| That was for me to come to Canada to talk about free speech, like insane. | ||
| And then you have all these people and they're screaming Black Lives Matter and all this stuff. | ||
| And it's like, well, is there a problem with police shootings in Canada? | ||
| And does it have anything to do with race? | ||
| And then you ask them and they're like, no, no. | ||
| That's like, what are you screaming about? | ||
| No, just, we want to play. | ||
| Yeah, we want to play too. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Literally, I just... | ||
| When Canadians start going off about issues, I laugh most of the time because I would say our number one issue, if we have issues outside of pandemic and stuff like that, is environmental. | ||
| It's where are we going to lay pipeline for natural oil? | ||
| What indigenous lands can we go through? | ||
| What's not cool? | ||
| Let's make peace with the indigenous people. | ||
| Those are the real issues Canadians have, and I'd say number one is environmental. | ||
| Other than that, we're kind of chill. | ||
| And I think that makes some people antsy, so they make up problems, just like everyone else in the world. | ||
| They have nothing to complain about, so they make it up. | ||
| I just remembered something. | ||
| I don't think I told you. | ||
| Did I ever tell you that I messaged you while you were in Hamilton, Ontario? | ||
| Oh, that was for that gig, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't know you yet, but I saw that that was happening. | ||
| And I reached out to, I think, on Instagram and I offered you another venue with a ton of security. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nicole, you are a good woman. | ||
| If you ever need help in Hamilton. | ||
| This is going to sound very douchey. | ||
| I don't run my Instagram. | ||
| That's okay, it does, but it's okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just kidding. | |
| No, I mean, I got a guy that runs it and sometimes messages, sometimes things slip through. | ||
| Well, I appreciate it. | ||
| I mean, that thing really was, I was like, I cannot believe this is happening in Canada. | ||
| I got people screaming that I'm a Nazi. | ||
| The three speakers on stage, you had a Christian, a Jew and a Muslim on stage and they're screaming that it's a white supremacist event. | ||
| You guys failed at white supremacy so hard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So hard. | ||
| So hard. | ||
| Hitler would be very, very disappointed. | ||
| So I was about to ask you what's next for you, but I think we know what's next, which is you got some sort of late night situation coming. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| I do. | ||
| And it's going to be fun. | ||
| And I know I sound a little like evil villain about it, but that's how I feel. | ||
| I feel like, okay, you guys want to play? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You pushed good people this far. | |
| The people's champions are rising up. | ||
| We're going to swing. | ||
| And I can't just be like, oh, it's just me. | ||
| I'm going to take on everybody. | ||
| There's a freaking X-Men crew rising up right now. | ||
| And man, I feel bad for SNL. | ||
| I feel bad for these people that are stuck in the little boxes. | ||
| Can't say what they want. | ||
| Can't be real comics because, yeah, the good ones are coming. | ||
| Nicole Arbor. | ||
| You're the best. | ||
| You're top 10 right now. | ||
| You're top 10 people that exist on the internet. | ||
| I'm putting you out there on that. | ||
| You're a top 10-er. | ||
| Oh, thanks! | ||
| You are also in the top 10, and your hair is like in the top one. | ||
| You win for hair. | ||
| You're the hair of God, for sure. | ||
| You know how much I'm paying for hairspray these days? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| To get this kind of lift? | ||
| What kind do you use? | ||
| Can you tell me? | ||
| Can I tell you off camera, because it's a very special brand, and I'm afraid if I tell everybody, then everyone will have it, and then I won't be able to get it. | ||
| Can I just? | ||
| I do have some limits around it. | ||
| Okay, yeah, that's fine. | ||
| Nicole, I can't believe we haven't met in real life and actually had a beer or something, so I can't wait to actually do that. | ||
| And I'm pre-congratulating you on your nighttime show, and I'll see you on the Instagram. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woohoo! | |
| Bye! | ||
| Thanks for having me! | ||
| Go team. | ||
| Bye! | ||
| If you're looking for more honest and thoughtful conversations about comedy instead of the non-stop yelling you get everywhere else, check out our comedy playlist. | ||
| And if you want to watch full interviews on a variety of topics, check out our full episode playlist. | ||
| They're both right over here. |
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