The Roseanne Barr Podcast - Single, Sassy & Ready to Mingle | The Roseanne Barr Podcast #130
Aired: 2026-03-27
Duration: 01:28:22

[00:01:12]  Greetings, earthlings, and humans and all other life forms and disembodied spirits.
[00:01:23]  I guess you would call them the collective of human shadows because you know humans are one way in public and another way in private often.
[00:01:38]  So those alter egos or alter selves of those people.
[00:01:45]  I know they're all tuning in here because they don't think they're supposed to.
[00:01:50]  And I love that intrigue.
[00:01:54]  As well as animals who just love me because they know when they hear me talk, they went, they go, the tones, the dulcet tones coming from that throat prove that some sort of intelligence has pierced this damned sphere.
[00:02:17]  Welcome to the Roseanne Bar podcast.
[00:02:27]  Well, here we are.
[00:02:29]  I'll have to admit, I've been imbibing in alcohol more than usual because my best friend is here.
[00:02:40]  And this is her fourth time on the show, right, Jake?
[00:02:43]  I thought it was your third, but Shannon said it was her fourth.
[00:02:46]  Get a little closer to that.
[00:02:47]  And Jake, and Jake said you are the most, you are the, what did you say, Jake?
[00:02:52]  Most prolific, least requested.
[00:02:56]  But I'm kidding, and people love you.
[00:02:58]  No, they love us together.
[00:02:59]  They do.
[00:03:00]  They love girls together.
[00:03:01]  I love you together.
[00:03:02]  And I'm one of the producers of the show.
[00:03:03]  Yeah, they do like girlfriends who've been downloading Louise and like Oprah and Gail.
[00:03:10]  Yeah, but girlfriends.
[00:03:11]  Except for we don't have sex, like Barry and no.
[00:03:16]  No, this is so funny.
[00:03:18]  When we went out for brunch on Sunday, we're in a thruple with my husband, the three of us.
[00:03:26]  Yeah.
[00:03:26]  And the lady goes, Can I get a picture with your wife to John?
[00:03:31]  He goes, which one?
[00:03:33]  He said, I have two.
[00:03:36]  Well, John is my hubster.
[00:03:43]  What is he, honey?
[00:03:44]  He's your husband, but because he's so kind to me, I say, well, he's the best husband.
[00:03:52]  He's the best husband I never had.
[00:03:54]  So can I have him as my husband, too?
[00:03:57]  But only, you know, nonsense.
[00:04:01]  Yeah, nothing physical.
[00:04:03]  But he, like, takes care of her.
[00:04:05]  But he is so kind to me.
[00:04:07]  Huh?
[00:04:08]  Shannon takes care of that part.
[00:04:09]  That's why you have a nice husband.
[00:04:11]  If you had a third woman sexually taking care of your husband, they might have.
[00:04:14]  She calls me her sister wife.
[00:04:16]  Yeah.
[00:04:17]  Yeah.
[00:04:17]  Yeah.
[00:04:17]  That's what I say.
[00:04:18]  It is like that.
[00:04:19]  Because I knew so many polygamists when I grew up in Utah.
[00:04:24]  I bet.
[00:04:24]  And all the sister wives, I saw what that was all about.
[00:04:28]  That was about the publicists in Hollywood.
[00:04:31]  The lesbian woman.
[00:04:32]  No, yeah, lesbian.
[00:04:33]  I don't want to let it be known.
[00:04:34]  Lesbian witches, Paul.
[00:04:36]  I'm letting it be known out there in the world.
[00:04:41]  She's ready to date.
[00:04:44]  Why would you say that?
[00:04:45]  I want you to see somebody.
[00:04:48]  Maybe that's a podcast.
[00:04:49]  Whoever may date my mom.
[00:04:52]  She is looking very cute.
[00:04:54]  She's feeling somewhat frisky.
[00:04:57]  Yeah, she's getting her.
[00:04:58]  And she's like.
[00:04:59]  Where are they getting these ideas?
[00:05:01]  She's got a whole new zhouz going on after our show.
[00:05:05]  Yeah.
[00:05:06]  She got a whole new zoz.
[00:05:09]  She doesn't seem to agree with this.
[00:05:11]  She's like speechless.
[00:05:13]  I think you're ready to do it.
[00:05:15]  You always take it back.
[00:05:16]  You all take it back to mom needs to get some D.
[00:05:20]  No.
[00:05:21]  I don't know.
[00:05:21]  You told me I feel ready to start going out again.
[00:05:27]  I think you'd like to hang out with me.
[00:05:28]  I'm going to go to the house several times.
[00:05:30]  Yeah.
[00:05:31]  So don't act.
[00:05:32]  I said I wouldn't be adverse to some guy who was interesting, had some money.
[00:05:42]  And that's a huge.
[00:05:45]  That's a huge one.
[00:05:47]  Huge ask.
[00:05:48]  Huge ask.
[00:05:51]  And found me interesting.
[00:05:55]  She's a genre marriage.
[00:05:56]  And so charming and bewitching and intelligent.
[00:06:03]  And he would, you know, not grovel, but adore you.
[00:06:14]  Adore and pay for your bill.
[00:06:18]  For my shit.
[00:06:19]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:06:19]  Because I always paid for guy shit.
[00:06:22]  So that's not the right way to go, ladies.
[00:06:25]  That is not, that is pimps up, hose down.
[00:06:29]  Celebrity crush, James Brolin.
[00:06:34]  What?
[00:06:35]  Celebrity crush.
[00:06:36]  Like, who, you know, on Matchmaker, Millionaire, Matchmaker, she just goes, what's your celebrity crush?
[00:06:43]  And then she tries to find someone like that person.
[00:06:46]  James Brolin is married to the archetype.
[00:06:50]  The queen of the Jew.
[00:06:54]  What about Randy Quaid as a type?
[00:06:57]  Randy Quaid is happily married to that's a type.
[00:07:02]  Yeah, but if he were single, he'd be perfect.
[00:07:05]  He's got his own money.
[00:07:06]  Well, he had money until his crazy wife stole it all.
[00:07:09]  Jake, do you want to get sued?
[00:07:11]  You better cut that out.
[00:07:13]  Stop that.
[00:07:14]  Don't.
[00:07:14]  Evie knows she's crazy.
[00:07:15]  You want to see my textbook?
[00:07:16]  Yeah, but love you, Evie.
[00:07:18]  You know, she's an artiste.
[00:07:20]  I love her.
[00:07:20]  She goes over the edge.
[00:07:22]  I have some great text messages from her if you do.
[00:07:24]  At times, what?
[00:07:25]  I can read my text messages from her on the airfield.
[00:07:28]  No, don't.
[00:07:29]  She's just very, she's unique.
[00:07:33]  She has lived the life and see what can happen.
[00:07:38]  And so you get a little more aware, that's all.
[00:07:40]  We saw her.
[00:07:42]  Did I show you those pictures of her?
[00:07:43]  Naked?
[00:07:44]  I mean, her dad was in the KGB for Christ's sake.
[00:07:47]  Jesus.
[00:07:48]  Well, anyway, I'm just saying he's tall.
[00:07:50]  He's good looking.
[00:07:52]  He would have money.
[00:07:53]  And they had a lot of money.
[00:07:55]  He had chemistry, though.
[00:07:59]  That's kind of why I wanted him to be my love interest in the show because, you know, Randy Quaid playing a sheriff who's actually also a deputy and a Texas Ranger and a Green Beret and in Mossade.
[00:08:19]  You don't give it away.
[00:08:20]  Huh?
[00:08:20]  You're giving too much away.
[00:08:22]  I mean, I don't know if he's in Mossad, MI6, or Octogon of CEO.
[00:08:27]  He's in some clandestine service.
[00:08:29]  And you like those 6'5-type guys.
[00:08:32]  You're 5'3.
[00:08:34]  No, like a 5'1.5.
[00:08:36]  She shrunk.
[00:08:37]  I shrank.
[00:08:39]  Can you fucking believe that?
[00:08:40]  She really.
[00:08:42]  No, I'm shorter now because they said that stomach operation had to lose five pounds.
[00:08:49]  Her bone density is shrinking.
[00:08:51]  She's shrinking.
[00:08:52]  I don't have any bone density.
[00:08:53]  What the hell?
[00:08:54]  Yeah.
[00:08:55]  She doesn't get any vitamins.
[00:08:56]  Can't we get her some stem cell bone density shit?
[00:09:00]  We're working on it.
[00:09:00]  We have a good doctor, but it turns out getting her stomach stapled and just drinking wine for 30 years is not the first.
[00:09:06]  I'm smoking.
[00:09:07]  I'm smoking.
[00:09:08]  Not good for your body.
[00:09:09]  I know, actually.
[00:09:10]  Who knew?
[00:09:11]  And laying in bed looking at her stuff like this.
[00:09:15]  No, she's on the side.
[00:09:17]  14 hours a day.
[00:09:18]  Here's the thing is, I told her, I go, can you, when you go to bed, can you not listen to all that stuff?
[00:09:25]  It's so disturbing to your sleep.
[00:09:29]  I just read a whole thing about binaural beats.
[00:09:32]  John thought I meant B-E-E-T-S.
[00:09:35]  He goes, I'm done with beats.
[00:09:37]  I go, no, it's B-E-A-T-S, binaural beats.
[00:09:41]  And they're like these sounds that are tranquil and relax you to sleep.
[00:09:49]  It's on YouTube.
[00:09:50]  You can plug in binaural.
[00:09:52]  I want to hear it.
[00:09:53]  B-I-N-A-U-R-A-L.
[00:09:56]  Binaural Beats.
[00:09:58]  And it's like frequencies.
[00:10:01]  And it's soothing and it stops your mind from stressing.
[00:10:06]  I don't think mom could sleep to that.
[00:10:08]  Is there binaural beads that have like doom scrolling?
[00:10:12]  No, it's just 485, or I'm wrong because I can't remember.
[00:10:17]  I'm going to listen.
[00:10:17]  I have to look it up.
[00:10:19]  But that is the frequency of God that they're trying to keep from us.
[00:10:24]  This is binaural beats.
[00:10:26]  I won't play the whole thing just for a second.
[00:10:29]  But see?
[00:10:31]  Bells.
[00:10:34]  They arrange your energy and your cells.
[00:10:36]  That's right.
[00:10:37]  That's right.
[00:10:38]  Bells equal cells.
[00:10:40]  That's right.
[00:10:40]  There you go.
[00:10:41]  There's a binaural frequency.
[00:10:42]  Thanks for doing that, James.
[00:10:44]  Of course, I like to give the audience an idea.
[00:10:46]  It does sound like you're in a spa.
[00:10:48]  I feel really.
[00:10:49]  Yeah, I hate when they play that shit in the spa.
[00:10:52]  Oh, come on.
[00:10:53]  What do you want to hear, Metallica?
[00:10:54]  Yeah.
[00:10:55]  She wants to hear, is Israel going to be exploded tomorrow?
[00:10:58]  I never think Israel is going to be exploded.
[00:11:01]  Are you kidding?
[00:11:02]  That's not what the book says.
[00:11:05]  I can't talk about your hair.
[00:11:08]  Well, let's see.
[00:11:08]  Oh, yeah.
[00:11:09]  Yeah.
[00:11:10]  What, Jay?
[00:11:10]  Well, I liked what you were saying about she needs to go to sleep without the laptop.
[00:11:13]  Yeah, without all this.
[00:11:15]  My doctor said the same thing.
[00:11:17]  We should have him on.
[00:11:18]  Yes.
[00:11:19]  I hate my doctor.
[00:11:22]  Hate slash love.
[00:11:23]  Yeah.
[00:11:24]  No, he's great, though.
[00:11:25]  And he, you know, your blood pressure is like through the roof and then it's low and then it's high.
[00:11:31]  Yeah, he's figuring out.
[00:11:32]  He's so annoying, but he's a good doctor.
[00:11:36]  He's from South Korea.
[00:11:38]  Yeah.
[00:11:39]  And guess where he grew up?
[00:11:42]  North Korea.
[00:11:43]  In Salt Lake City as a Mormon.
[00:11:46]  No, Provo, as a Mormon, that was a convert from, was it Buddhism or whatever they got?
[00:11:54]  Yep.
[00:11:54]  Yep.
[00:11:55]  I was right.
[00:11:56]  You're right.
[00:11:57]  Yep.
[00:11:58]  And then when he was in Utah, found out, did a DNA test, found out he's got a lot of Jewish DNA.
[00:12:06]  I go, see, I know you could have asked me.
[00:12:12]  I could have told you.
[00:12:13]  You're obsessed.
[00:12:15]  You're a doctor.
[00:12:16]  You're obsessed with clinical details that you keep in files.
[00:12:23]  And you're always talking about how you have no dating life.
[00:12:28]  You're a Jew.
[00:12:31]  I remember we were in to get your blood drawn.
[00:12:36]  And we're like in the lobby because he had to do it all under the radar.
[00:12:41]  And he like, she goes, my veins are, they're not good.
[00:12:44]  And he's like, I'll get it.
[00:12:46]  And he put it in and blood squirted everywhere all over him.
[00:12:50]  It splattered across my face like in the show.
[00:12:53]  No way.
[00:12:53]  I never heard those.
[00:12:54]  Yeah.
[00:12:55]  And I was like, and I was like, see, I don't.
[00:13:02]  I went to a racist place right in my mind about the South Koreans.
[00:13:07]  What's the racist thing about South Koreans?
[00:13:10]  Well, I couldn't remember if they were the sneaky ones that got us at Pearl Harbor.
[00:13:14]  That was Japanese.
[00:13:15]  But then I realized that was Japan, which we're friends with now.
[00:13:20]  It would have been hilarious if you made a Japanese joke at a South Korean because you couldn't even tell them apart.
[00:13:25]  Veracity, pronounced Ba-Ras-A-T.
[00:13:29]  All right, can we talk about GLP-1s for a second?
[00:13:33]  Because suddenly everyone I know is on them.
[00:13:35]  My group, chat, TikTok, podcast, probably my mailman too.
[00:13:40]  And listen, I was this close to trying them until I remembered two things.
[00:13:44]  I don't love needles and I'm always going to try the natural option first if I can.
[00:13:50]  Also, I've tried enough weird weight loss trends in my life.
[00:13:53]  Detox teas, miracle gummies, diets where you eat like three almonds and pretend you're full, and I'm over it.
[00:14:00]  I just want something that actually works without making me feel like I'm doing a science experiment on my body.
[00:14:07]  That's why I'm excited about today's sponsor, Ba Rasa T is revolutionizing health by tackling the root cause of so many issues, which is metabolism.
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[00:14:27]  If your goal is weight loss, you need to try Metabolism Ignite.
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[00:14:41]  It helps reduce hunger by up to 85%, and it's clinically proven to help people lose an average of nine pounds in 90 days.
[00:14:48]  That's good.
[00:14:49]  I started using Metabolism Ignite a couple of weeks ago, and it's just two capsules with breakfast.
[00:14:55]  And I've already noticed I'm way less snacky cravy during the day, and I've got more energy too.
[00:15:00]  It's made with ingredients like lemon verbena, hibiscus extract, green coffee bean extract, and magnesium, which is the greatest.
[00:15:09]  And because it's 100% natural and caffeine-free, clinical trials showed no negative side effects.
[00:15:16]  Honestly, what I love about Bah Ras Ed T is that it gives women a natural option, and it's nice to see something that's actually science-backed and doesn't come out with a terrifying list of warnings.
[00:15:27]  It also couldn't be easier.
[00:15:29]  Just two capsules every morning.
[00:15:31]  So make the switch to GLP1s the natural way.
[00:15:34]  Head to veracityhealth.co and use the code ROSAN for up to 60% off your order.
[00:15:40]  Once again, that's veracityhealth.co.
[00:15:43]  We're up to 60% off and make sure you use my promo code, Roseanne, so they know I sent you.
[00:15:49]  That's doubly racist.
[00:15:50]  No, I can tell them apart for real.
[00:15:53]  I know a lot of Asian people, and after you know a lot of them, you can start to see the difference.
[00:15:58]  You're like when you're like think everybody's homogenous, especially when you're from Utah, where everybody is homogenous looking because they're all cousins.
[00:16:10]  And of course, so was my family Jews, all cousins.
[00:16:13]  Cousins married with family.
[00:16:14]  And says his best.
[00:16:16]  I mean, it's just how it is.
[00:16:18]  I think that's why people are screwed up because too much cousins marrying cousins for centuries, especially amongst the serfs.
[00:16:28]  No, it's true.
[00:16:29]  As soon as one of the serfs gets 10 extra dollars, he's off looking for strange DNA.
[00:16:38]  Yeah, I guess it's not even getting away from the family reunion.
[00:16:41]  He's like, I need to prop up this gene pool for humanity's sake.
[00:16:47]  No, I remember the porn chicks were like, yeah, every guy needs some strange.
[00:16:54]  They can't, you know, F the same person all the time.
[00:16:58]  They all need strange.
[00:17:00]  Yeah.
[00:17:01]  And I saw a study of cows and the cow that was F and the other cow.
[00:17:08]  Then they got sick of the same smell and the same look, so they had to go to another cow.
[00:17:15]  Yeah, female, a bull.
[00:17:17]  A cow is a female.
[00:17:19]  And a bull.
[00:17:20]  Yeah, the bull.
[00:17:21]  But we knew what you were saying.
[00:17:22]  I wasn't going to catch you.
[00:17:23]  Yeah.
[00:17:23]  Well, the male animal is designed to scatter his seeds with about 150 wives that he owns.
[00:17:33]  Yep.
[00:17:34]  That's how it was.
[00:17:35]  That's why everyone's cheating.
[00:17:36]  You know, in Kansas City, every beautiful girl I meet, she's in her 40s.
[00:17:42]  My husband's cheating on me.
[00:17:44]  You know, I have three kids.
[00:17:46]  Every time they're all these guys, she found on the Tinder.
[00:17:54]  No.
[00:17:54]  Oh, that's the one that's she saw on the credit card.
[00:17:57]  He was calling all these when he was traveling.
[00:18:01]  What an amateur.
[00:18:02]  And he was like calling all these, you know, hooker, you know.
[00:18:07]  On a phone that he knew his wife could see that.
[00:18:09]  I guess.
[00:18:10]  I don't know.
[00:18:10]  That guy's a real genius.
[00:18:12]  I mean, you've got to give him credit for being a real genius.
[00:18:16]  He must watch the forensic files more than me.
[00:18:19]  Sounds like he wanted to get caught, is what it sounds like.
[00:18:22]  It is.
[00:18:22]  Everybody wants to get caught.
[00:18:24]  They want God to catch them, spank them, fix them, and let them back at it.
[00:18:31]  I think you're right.
[00:18:32]  Back at it.
[00:18:32]  Yeah, to do it right.
[00:18:33]  I just had an idea, and I'm not trying to be funny.
[00:18:36]  What?
[00:18:36]  For dating, since you're not quite, you're getting there, warming up to it.
[00:18:40]  Who me?
[00:18:41]  Yeah.
[00:18:42]  I like a conversation with someone my age who's accomplished and has something to talk about.
[00:18:47]  I got an idea.
[00:18:49]  Okay, like.
[00:18:49]  Why don't you write letters in prison to serial killers?
[00:18:53]  Because it's your two favorite things, and there's no, you don't have to worry about it.
[00:18:56]  They're in prison for life.
[00:18:58]  You can try and get in their head.
[00:18:59]  Like the Menanda.
[00:19:00]  It's your three favorite things.
[00:19:01]  Profiling, pen paling, and it's a man.
[00:19:05]  And women write their serial killers all the time.
[00:19:07]  I wouldn't want any of his masturcations or whatever you'd call them.
[00:19:13]  I thought you'd enjoy this idea.
[00:19:15]  No, his manipulative shit.
[00:19:17]  I mean, I do it as a case study.
[00:19:18]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:19:19]  You would try and outmanipulate him.
[00:19:21]  No, I try to catch him because I know how to catch him.
[00:19:24]  There you go.
[00:19:24]  There's a fun hobby right there.
[00:19:25]  No, I don't want any of that.
[00:19:27]  No, she wants to kill her.
[00:19:27]  I don't want their serial killed on a nice process.
[00:19:30]  Yeah, not a serial killer.
[00:19:32]  All right, well, okay, not like that.
[00:19:34]  Do you think the only guys that like me could, the only guys that could like me are serial killers?
[00:19:38]  No, you know what I think?
[00:19:39]  I think I know you better than you know yourself.
[00:19:41]  And I know an hour after we record this, you're going to go, that's not a bad idea.
[00:19:44]  And you're going to start writing the serial killer.
[00:19:45]  No, I'm not.
[00:19:46]  We'll see.
[00:19:47]  I'm writing it down.
[00:19:48]  I'm not that self-destructive.
[00:19:50]  What are they going to do?
[00:19:51]  You're writing a letter.
[00:19:52]  You're not going to marry him.
[00:19:53]  Okay, I wanted to talk about her hair.
[00:19:56]  But if I fell in love with him and under the devil's sway, which he controls all serial killers, I mean, I wouldn't go up there to the pit where the devil is and taunt him.
[00:20:07]  All right.
[00:20:07]  Unlike these pro-Palestinians.
[00:20:09]  All right, then forget it.
[00:20:10]  Well, just pen pal someone.
[00:20:11]  Why don't you pen pal like a world leader or someone you like?
[00:20:15]  Maybe you'll get through.
[00:20:15]  You're famous.
[00:20:16]  Why don't you do a pen pal thing?
[00:20:17]  Is what I'm saying.
[00:20:18]  Netanyahu.
[00:20:19]  Yeah.
[00:20:20]  Is he married?
[00:20:21]  Oh, yeah.
[00:20:22]  His wife would tear my eyes out if I got 25.
[00:20:25]  Is she pretty?
[00:20:27]  I've never seen her.
[00:20:28]  She is.
[00:20:28]  She's an attractive woman, Sarah.
[00:20:31]  Sarah Netanyahu.
[00:20:32]  I'm going to look her up.
[00:20:32]  And she's an attractive Jewish woman with a very strong spirit.
[00:20:38]  That sounds like you.
[00:20:40]  Oh, yeah.
[00:20:40]  She's hideous.
[00:20:42]  Don't say that.
[00:20:43]  No, I mean, you've got a real shot here, Ma.
[00:20:47]  That's his wife?
[00:20:48]  Oh, boy.
[00:20:49]  I would never interfere in a marriage.
[00:20:51]  I think he'd want you to.
[00:20:52]  She's disgusting.
[00:20:53]  No, I would never interfere.
[00:20:56]  And I don't want to be married to Bibi because I find Bibi to be angry.
[00:21:04]  Wishy-washy.
[00:21:07]  He really is.
[00:21:10]  Well, you would know.
[00:21:12]  And I think I should replace Bibi as Prime Minister of Israel and President of these United States.
[00:21:19]  Remember in 2012, I ran for president.
[00:21:22]  It was a twofer, president of these United States of America, and Prime Minister of Israel.
[00:21:28]  A twofer.
[00:21:29]  I think you'd be a great Prime Minister of Israel.
[00:21:33]  You're damn right, I would, because I know the history of Jerusalem, the Levant, Mecca, and Medina, and all of it.
[00:21:45]  All the way to Abraham.
[00:21:48]  Come at me, bees.
[00:21:53]  Bees?
[00:21:54]  I didn't want to swear.
[00:21:55]  Can I want to talk about her hair now?
[00:21:58]  Oh, yeah, talk about my hair.
[00:21:59]  Okay.
[00:22:00]  Okay, so I told you, Shannon, I can't stand my hair.
[00:22:05]  It's all extensions, and they're all showing in their all haywire.
[00:22:10]  And they're tearing my, they're just driving me crazy.
[00:22:14]  And I'm sick of being blonde.
[00:22:18]  When I saw myself in this show, I'm like, bitch, you are over being blonde.
[00:22:24]  Look at you.
[00:22:24]  What did you call it?
[00:22:25]  Patriarch?
[00:22:26]  No, what did you call being blonde?
[00:22:31]  Like the queen and king?
[00:22:35]  The word you used, not patriarchal.
[00:22:40]  Oh, well.
[00:22:41]  Anyway, you said, I don't want it anymore.
[00:22:43]  So she pulled all her hair extensions out and cut her own hair.
[00:22:48]  Oh, you got an ant like a flint to that.
[00:22:52]  I saw Ash.
[00:22:53]  Okay.
[00:22:54]  Anyway, and so then the next, so she had long blonde hair to her shoulders.
[00:22:58]  And then the next time I saw her, she looked like this.
[00:23:02]  She cut her own hair.
[00:23:03]  And it's cute, and I'm loving it.
[00:23:06]  I'm loving it.
[00:23:08]  Everyone was so concerned in the family that I told them I cut off everything blonde because I was like, I am no longer blonde.
[00:23:17]  I am gray as a friggin' toadstool.
[00:23:22]  Well, I'm going to reclaim my right as a woman of gray hood.
[00:23:27]  The white is cute around the front.
[00:23:32]  And that's why.
[00:23:33]  I think I look Francais.
[00:23:35]  Yeah, you do.
[00:23:36]  Very Francais.
[00:23:39]  Very trichy.
[00:23:41]  Well, didn't we have a ball doing this show, honey?
[00:23:44]  Oh, God.
[00:23:47]  We had to get up every morning like at 5 a.m.
[00:23:50]  Well, let's catch people up.
[00:23:51]  You came out.
[00:23:53]  We did our show.
[00:23:54]  December.
[00:23:54]  You came out and were mom's haircuts.
[00:23:56]  I said, Shannon, I can't do this show without you, and I just got the money.
[00:24:00]  So you have to do it.
[00:24:04]  You have to do it.
[00:24:05]  And mind you, I came out of retirement because I only work like one or two days a week.
[00:24:10]  This was 60 hours a week that I hadn't worked in years like that.
[00:24:16]  And you haven't either.
[00:24:17]  We didn't work that hard on the Roseanne reboot.
[00:24:21]  I know.
[00:24:21]  No, these were long days.
[00:24:22]  These were long days.
[00:24:24]  These were two days off.
[00:24:25]  Every weekend we're in a new era in BNB, packing our shit up, packing the food up, going somewhere else.
[00:24:33]  Everyone else had the weekend off.
[00:24:36]  Saturday, we were packing and moving.
[00:24:39]  Yeah.
[00:24:39]  Unpacking.
[00:24:41]  Sunday, had off.
[00:24:43]  Monday, 5 a.m. I'd wake her up, honey, honey, wake up.
[00:24:48]  And she'd go, ah!
[00:24:52]  Every morning it would be something different.
[00:24:54]  She'd go, a monster.
[00:24:57]  Like she would just do something wacky every single morning.
[00:25:03]  Or, you know, or not.
[00:25:05]  Like, she'd just be jostled and scared.
[00:25:08]  Yeah, well, she wasn't, I mean, she was going to bed late and then waking up.
[00:25:11]  I never got any rest.
[00:25:12]  That's why these dark patches under my eyes, they have grown deep and wide.
[00:25:19]  I never got any sleep.
[00:25:22]  No, they are.
[00:25:23]  I saw myself and I got these dark, like old ladies.
[00:25:27]  Not that some concealer can't cover.
[00:25:30]  Really?
[00:25:30]  It cosmetic concealer with serum.
[00:25:34]  I want to get that Chris Fairchild.
[00:25:37]  What's their name?
[00:25:39]  The Kaufmans.
[00:25:41]  Kardashians?
[00:25:42]  Yeah.
[00:25:42]  Kaufman.
[00:25:45]  Not one letter.
[00:25:46]  Oh, my God.
[00:25:47]  Chris Kardashian.
[00:25:48]  No, is that her name?
[00:25:49]  Chris Jenner.
[00:25:50]  Christian or Kardashian.
[00:25:51]  She's still, she's not a Jenner anymore, is she?
[00:25:53]  No, the Kardashian family.
[00:25:56]  You know, I want to get the facelift that she got.
[00:26:02]  She looks like one of her kids now.
[00:26:04]  Doesn't she?
[00:26:05]  Yeah.
[00:26:06]  She's adorable with that face.
[00:26:09]  And her haircut is, she can have the French, the short French cut.
[00:26:13]  Because women always say women, they get work to look good, and they never do it.
[00:26:17]  No, she looks good.
[00:26:19]  Honey, I heard she went to South Korea because that's where you've got to go to get the ponytail facelift.
[00:26:28]  And it was $150K.
[00:26:32]  That's not bad.
[00:26:35]  For a whole new lady.
[00:26:36]  She doesn't look like a cat lady, but it's definitely.
[00:26:40]  I think she looks good.
[00:26:41]  Terrifying.
[00:26:42]  I want one of those ponytail facelifts.
[00:26:45]  I want you to do it.
[00:26:47]  But this doctor says I have to go get my heart checked out because it's damaged.
[00:26:52]  So now I'm so pissed because I'm like, I need a new doctor.
[00:26:57]  He's always sending me to other doctors to check me out.
[00:27:00]  And I'm like, why do I have to go find something wrong when nothing's wrong?
[00:27:05]  And then get in shape just so I can have surgery and die on the surgery table.
[00:27:09]  Well, I mean, it doesn't make any sense.
[00:27:12]  I would rather not get ready for any sort of surgery ever again in my life and just, you know, get a heart attack or a stroke and then just be put into the home.
[00:27:26]  What do they call that place?
[00:27:28]  Hospice.
[00:27:29]  Yeah.
[00:27:31]  That is the life.
[00:27:32]  Living in the hospice.
[00:27:34]  No, that's where you're going.
[00:27:36]  That is where life is worth living.
[00:27:38]  I've seen it.
[00:27:40]  My sister and brother, my mom were hospice care workers for the gay community.
[00:27:46]  I saw it.
[00:27:48]  And, You know what?
[00:27:52]  Those hospitals great?
[00:27:55]  I've never heard this before.
[00:27:57]  It was his greatest thing ever, and that's where I want to go.
[00:28:01]  Don't be so to hospice.
[00:28:03]  No, you don't.
[00:28:03]  Oh, it does sound pretty awesome.
[00:28:05]  I'm not going to say that.
[00:28:06]  No, I'm not.
[00:28:07]  But you are on a morphine drift.
[00:28:09]  Hello.
[00:28:10]  Hello.
[00:28:11]  That's so you.
[00:28:12]  That's all I want.
[00:28:14]  And they just make you comfortable.
[00:28:15]  They change your diet.
[00:28:16]  They know you're dying and they give you morphine.
[00:28:19]  I remember my grandfather screaming from pancreatic cancer, I need a shot.
[00:28:26]  And them saying, No, you got to wait another hour.
[00:28:30]  And I would just cry.
[00:28:33]  And I would say, when I'm a huge sitcom star and have my own podcast, I'm going to tell the world that when you're friggin' dying, pump up the morphine.
[00:28:50]  Why not?
[00:28:51]  You animals?
[00:28:53]  Yeah.
[00:28:53]  No, my mom was totally people without empathy saying you can't have another morphine shot.
[00:29:01]  You can't have another morphine shot, though.
[00:29:03]  You're dying in agony because it goes against our scheduling insurance.
[00:29:11]  I am so glad that Trump has ruined the insurance companies and we can be free of insurance men.
[00:29:21]  Oh my God, that's what it was all about: insurance men and the insurance industrial complex, where you say, I'm going to put everything on the fact that I'm never going to die.
[00:29:36]  How do we get on that from your hair?
[00:29:39]  I don't know.
[00:29:39]  I don't know.
[00:29:40]  The Rose Ambar podcast.
[00:29:42]  No.
[00:29:43]  Okay, so anyway, my hair.
[00:29:45]  Yeah.
[00:29:45]  Oh, no.
[00:29:47]  And so, like, that show was really fun.
[00:29:51]  Like, when we were in it, I was like, oh, my God, when five, I would have to get up at four if you had to get up at five.
[00:29:59]  And I would just be like, oh, my God, I can't even handle this.
[00:30:04]  But then I look back on it, and now I'm looking at the shows.
[00:30:09]  You know, you're showing me the clips and stuff.
[00:30:11]  And it's so great.
[00:30:13]  And it was so fun.
[00:30:15]  But like, those hours and like some days it was windy and dusty.
[00:30:20]  Freezing.
[00:30:21]  Freezing.
[00:30:22]  She'd be out there.
[00:30:23]  I got the cedar flu, the Texas flu, the allergies.
[00:30:27]  Lost my voice.
[00:30:28]  Lost her voice.
[00:30:29]  Sick as a dog, but still fucking hung in there, bitch.
[00:30:33]  Yeah, you were.
[00:30:35]  You were amazing.
[00:30:35]  And the show's amazing.
[00:30:36]  I mean, the show is hilarious.
[00:30:39]  The acting, Dre Damatio, Randy Quaid, Mario Gooding, and Indiebug.
[00:30:50]  What?
[00:30:51]  Isn't his name Mario?
[00:30:52]  Omar.
[00:30:53]  Omar.
[00:30:54]  I'm sorry.
[00:30:55]  I'm sorry.
[00:30:56]  Omar Gooding.
[00:30:58]  Just leave that out.
[00:30:59]  Omar Gooding, Cuba Gooding Jr.'s brother.
[00:31:02]  That's so great.
[00:31:04]  And Indy Bug.
[00:31:05]  Great comic actor, man.
[00:31:06]  Yeah.
[00:31:07]  Facial expressions, everything.
[00:31:08]  So funny.
[00:31:10]  Doug Jones.
[00:31:10]  Just a great bug, the thin bug.
[00:31:13]  How great was Doug Jones?
[00:31:14]  Doug Jones.
[00:31:15]  Doug Jones.
[00:31:17]  Oh, my God.
[00:31:17]  Crazy Evie Goddess, Doug Jones.
[00:31:19]  Evie, Randy Quaid's wife.
[00:31:22]  Yeah, we have to give a shout out to Evie for she brought us a lot of good stuff.
[00:31:25]  She, or Doug was in Pan's Labyrinth.
[00:31:30]  He was like the thin man with the eyes and the hands.
[00:31:34]  And he was the fish in the color of water.
[00:31:37]  No, he's a famous character.
[00:31:39]  Not the color of water.
[00:31:41]  What is it called?
[00:31:42]  The summer.
[00:31:42]  Shape of water.
[00:31:43]  Shape of water.
[00:31:44]  He does a lot of.
[00:31:44]  He was in Hellboy.
[00:31:46]  Cowboy.
[00:31:47]  Kind of a great job.
[00:31:48]  Like six five, 110 pounds.
[00:31:50]  But he's on that fucking vampire show now.
[00:31:53]  That's so funny.
[00:31:54]  What we see in the dark.
[00:31:55]  You can play a great vampire.
[00:31:56]  He's brilliant.
[00:31:57]  I loved how he moved his head nut once in the morning.
[00:32:00]  Yeah.
[00:32:02]  He's so fucking good.
[00:32:04]  Everyone was great in this.
[00:32:05]  And you dropped all kinds of little Easter eggs for all your fans with the red shoes.
[00:32:13]  Yeah, there's some Q quotients in there.
[00:32:15]  Yes.
[00:32:16]  Don't give any more of those away.
[00:32:17]  I won't.
[00:32:18]  I'm here to there's some jokes for the Q folks.
[00:32:21]  And some jokes for a lot of jokes for the left.
[00:32:31]  You may have seen the conversations happening online lately.
[00:32:34]  Censorship is back and it's happening everywhere.
[00:32:37]  Platforms are controlling narratives and pushing the stuff they want us to see.
[00:32:41]  We need to fight back.
[00:32:42]  Rumble is the only company that has stood the test of time and deserves our support.
[00:32:47]  On one side, Rumble's challenging big tech censorship.
[00:32:52]  But now, on the other side, they've introduced something that will give us protection from big banks shutting us off.
[00:32:58]  Banks can cancel our accounts and freeze our cards.
[00:33:02]  So that's why they launched Rumble Wallet, a wallet that no one can cancel, a wallet that supporters can use to instantly tip creators like myself without any middleman taking cuts.
[00:33:15]  And with Rumble Wallet, you control your money.
[00:33:18]  Not a bank, not a government, not a tech company.
[00:33:21]  Not even Rumble can touch it.
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[00:33:25]  Yours to protect your future and your family.
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[00:34:28]  Wallet.rumble.com or search Rumble Wallet in the app stores.
[00:34:34]  But of course, they're the butt of them.
[00:34:36]  But I'm waiting to see if they like that.
[00:34:40]  I think they eventually will like being the butt of the jokes.
[00:34:43]  Well, you also kind of make yourself a butt of a joke a couple times.
[00:34:46]  It's self-effacing here and there with the conspiracy.
[00:34:48]  Because we're all the butt of this huge.
[00:34:50]  And I just want to give a shout out to the crew.
[00:34:53]  Yeah, best crew in business.
[00:34:54]  Can we say Tony was in it?
[00:34:57]  Tony Henchcliffe.
[00:34:58]  No.
[00:34:59]  We can't.
[00:35:02]  We can't.
[00:35:03]  He's saying.
[00:35:04]  I mean, it's just a small part.
[00:35:06]  He's not in it in the episode.
[00:35:07]  Yeah.
[00:35:08]  Tony Henchcliffe.
[00:35:09]  He's great.
[00:35:10]  And the crew, like Covey, our wardrobe guy, and Olivia, and Peter, PK.
[00:35:18]  Yeah, no.
[00:35:18]  What's his last name?
[00:35:19]  Kowalski.
[00:35:20]  Kowalski, Alan Cover, Alan Steven.
[00:35:25]  The show's so fucking good.
[00:35:27]  The crew was just like cat.
[00:35:31]  Matt, our props guy.
[00:35:34]  He was great.
[00:35:35]  They make a lot of great songs.
[00:35:36]  Yeah, great songs.
[00:35:37]  And Will Rimmer, the idea.
[00:35:39]  Will Rammer.
[00:35:40]  Will Rammer Rimmer.
[00:35:42]  I wonder if his baby's born yet.
[00:35:44]  I don't know.
[00:35:46]  I just felt bad because I called him Mike Rimmer the last time we talked about him.
[00:35:50]  I felt so guilty.
[00:35:52]  No, and that's okay.
[00:35:53]  Does he know we only hired him because his name was Rim?
[00:35:56]  Yeah, I told him that in the job interview.
[00:35:57]  Okay, good.
[00:35:58]  I interviewed him.
[00:35:59]  So we thought we'd get some good jokes off that.
[00:36:01]  Little did we know he was multi-talented.
[00:36:04]  Sometimes you get lucky you hired.
[00:36:06]  How about when he went off on me for driving crazy?
[00:36:10]  He yelled at her big time.
[00:36:12]  A couple times.
[00:36:13]  He was not planning.
[00:36:16]  He yelled at Sandra too.
[00:36:18]  He wasn't his job is he's also 50.
[00:36:22]  Well, yeah.
[00:36:22]  And mom got in a golf cart and we had a stunt driver and like you're going to drive four feet.
[00:36:26]  And she's like, we took off like she knows.
[00:36:28]  Well, I wanted to show him I'm better than anybody.
[00:36:31]  Almost killed the crew.
[00:36:32]  They freaked out.
[00:36:34]  He screamed at mom.
[00:36:36]  I said, I didn't hit anyone you'll notice.
[00:36:38]  He said, yeah, because we jumped out of the way.
[00:36:40]  That's what he said.
[00:36:41]  Well, I knew they would jump out of the way.
[00:36:44]  So what's the point?
[00:36:46]  They thought you were going to stop.
[00:36:48]  No, that's why they had the last minute had to.
[00:36:51]  That was the joke.
[00:36:53]  Liz.
[00:36:53]  It's just like my dad.
[00:36:54]  It's going too far.
[00:36:56]  Liz, Liz, are there was Kyle and Liz, our handlers.
[00:37:01]  And Liz was like, we kept thinking she was going to stop.
[00:37:06]  You know, that's what my uncle Larry used to say.
[00:37:09]  You know what thought did?
[00:37:11]  What?
[00:37:12]  He tells me when we were kids, one time I thought I only had to fart, but I shit my pants.
[00:37:21]  Wise words.
[00:37:22]  Because that's what thought gets.
[00:37:24]  My favorite part of that go-kart experience was Covert came up to me.
[00:37:27]  He's like, you've got to go tell your mom.
[00:37:28]  She can't do that.
[00:37:29]  She can't get on it.
[00:37:30]  And me and Alan, Stephen, were there.
[00:37:31]  And we're like, okay, yeah, I'll go tell mom not to do something.
[00:37:34]  You fucking amateur.
[00:37:36]  Like, you don't know what you're doing.
[00:37:37]  Covert, you're new here.
[00:37:39]  If I go tell her no, she's going to get right back on and then she's going to drive over people.
[00:37:43]  And he's like, no, she needs to understand there's insurance stuff.
[00:37:46]  And me and Alan just giggled.
[00:37:48]  We were shoulder to shoulder.
[00:37:49]  Me and Alan's dude laughed for like 15 minutes.
[00:37:51]  We're like, go tell her, Covert.
[00:37:53]  Go tell her not to do it.
[00:37:54]  I'm sure she'll listen.
[00:37:56]  I said, the best thing you can do is just joke.
[00:37:58]  Yep.
[00:37:58]  Let her know she got a laugh and she'll calm down.
[00:38:01]  And it worked.
[00:38:02]  She's like your daughter, Noami.
[00:38:04]  Yeah.
[00:38:04]  They have oppositional disorder.
[00:38:07]  If you say no, she's going to do it.
[00:38:10]  I know, but I should have some control over that impulse since I'm 73.
[00:38:17]  You're great.
[00:38:17]  I should be older than two.
[00:38:19]  So I'm still stuck at two, and I'm wearing diapers.
[00:38:23]  So that proves it.
[00:38:24]  Full circle.
[00:38:25]  They need to stop being so fucking uptight.
[00:38:28]  Remember the.
[00:38:28]  Can I talk about the wedding?
[00:38:30]  I did.
[00:38:30]  I was just going to say that, psychic.
[00:38:32]  I didn't.
[00:38:34]  Mom is such an nobody.
[00:38:36]  I know, but I slowed down to like 4 MPH.
[00:38:40]  I agree.
[00:38:41]  I'm with you.
[00:38:42]  Okay.
[00:38:42]  If you can't figure out somebody's still coming at 4 MPH and you got to jump out to complete the joke, then you're a fucking retard and a narcissist,
[00:38:55]  self-obsessed with magical thinking.
[00:38:58]  This is why I love my mom.
[00:38:59]  So we had a wedding this weekend and mom was nice enough to attend.
[00:39:02]  It was my sister-in-law's.
[00:39:04]  It was a lovely day.
[00:39:05]  It was a lovely day.
[00:39:05]  It was a lovely song.
[00:39:06]  So at the end of the night, we're packing up, and I tell them.
[00:39:08]  I thought there'd be a fist fight or two, but there was none.
[00:39:10]  I told the crew when they were packing up, I was like, was it good?
[00:39:13]  And they're like, yeah.
[00:39:14]  And I was like, what do you mean?
[00:39:15]  They're like, well, I said, were we not good?
[00:39:17]  And she's like, no, you guys were pretty good.
[00:39:19]  Pretty ready.
[00:39:20]  One person at your wedding got physical.
[00:39:22]  And I was like, who the fuck would do that?
[00:39:24]  And she's like, some old lady touched me in the arm and she's like, shut up, Gentile.
[00:39:30]  I'll do what I want.
[00:39:30]  And I was like, I was there when that happened.
[00:39:35]  She was in the next room.
[00:39:36]  I never touched her.
[00:39:37]  No, she never touched her.
[00:39:39]  So she said she grabbed her on the upper arm.
[00:39:41]  No, no, no.
[00:39:42]  Are you kidding me?
[00:39:43]  I swear to God.
[00:39:44]  Total lie.
[00:39:45]  I waited until she left the room.
[00:39:47]  Did you call her a Gentile, though?
[00:39:49]  Because she did say that you called her a gentleman.
[00:39:50]  You did.
[00:39:51]  Which is no way she did.
[00:39:53]  No Gentile is going to tell me what to do.
[00:39:55]  Yeah.
[00:39:57]  She told me, ma'am, you must remove yourself from the bridal chamber because the bride is coming in here to get dressed and finally prepped and spackled.
[00:40:08]  And I said, well, I happen to be in the bride's family and I've been in here with her and was assured I could be in this place because it's kind of a safe place for me.
[00:40:18]  Yeah, that's true.
[00:40:19]  She had no celebrity.
[00:40:19]  But she didn't know.
[00:40:20]  She didn't know you were a celebrity.
[00:40:21]  Well, then she acted like she did not say that.
[00:40:26]  I go, in other words, bitch, I paid for this whole soiree.
[00:40:31]  Eddie and Randall.
[00:40:32]  I'm not leaving the room, and I did not pay for it.
[00:40:34]  That was a dirty lie.
[00:40:36]  And I asked God to forgive me.
[00:40:38]  But I was taken by the passion of the moment.
[00:40:40]  So anyway, the passion.
[00:40:43]  She goes, no, I go, no, the bride loves me, and she knows I have to have a dressing room because when I phoned the bride the morning of her wedding, Jake, you were there.
[00:40:59]  I phoned the bride and I said, congratulations on the happiest day of your life.
[00:41:04]  That's beautiful.
[00:41:04]  And she said, thank you.
[00:41:06]  And I said, one problem.
[00:41:12]  She goes, what?
[00:41:14]  And I said, it's never a kind thing when a guest at the wedding overshadows the bride.
[00:41:29]  But I'm afraid it is going to happen.
[00:41:37]  And she said, oh, Granny, you always, you always outshine everybody, so we're used to it.
[00:41:43]  And I said, well, my question is, do you need me to come down the aisle before you?
[00:41:51]  I never heard any of that.
[00:41:52]  I didn't know that.
[00:41:53]  Or after.
[00:41:55]  Are you making this up?
[00:41:56]  We just laughed.
[00:41:57]  Annie's the best.
[00:41:58]  That's my question.
[00:41:59]  But so I was in that mood, you know, where I act like the snooty lady from Beverly Hills, that character.
[00:42:05]  Yeah, I saw that.
[00:42:06]  And I do it for my fans and friends that are in the.
[00:42:10]  I go, I've never.
[00:42:12]  Why, I've never.
[00:42:14]  How dare you?
[00:42:15]  How dare you assume?
[00:42:18]  And then we got to.
[00:42:20]  So she was walking.
[00:42:21]  I said, no, I'm going to stay here.
[00:42:24]  And I'm part of the bridal family.
[00:42:28]  And so, you know, be on with your way.
[00:42:33]  And so, she goes, you're going to have to leave.
[00:42:36]  As she's walking out the door, you're going to have to leave, ma'am.
[00:42:42]  And so I improperly said, but I thought, you know, she'd only hear it outside the door.
[00:42:55]  And since it was a Jewish wedding, half Jewish wedding, I remarked, I remarked, I don't listen to Gentiles.
[00:43:10]  This is why we've been kicked out of the city.
[00:43:12]  Anna said she was Jewish.
[00:43:14]  And then I found out she's Jewish.
[00:43:16]  Yeah, she was very upset when she talked to someone.
[00:43:19]  Well, she was too Jewish for me.
[00:43:21]  I'm too Jewish for Jewish America, but that bride was too Jewish for me.
[00:43:28]  Arrogant.
[00:43:30]  I mean, are you serious?
[00:43:32]  You can't make an exception for someone of my idea who you were.
[00:43:37]  Because even when she told me, she said one of the guests, an older lady.
[00:43:42]  An old lady, she said.
[00:43:43]  An old bride.
[00:43:44]  Grabbed me and said she's not.
[00:43:46]  I never grabbed her, Shannon.
[00:43:47]  You were there.
[00:43:48]  I was there the entire time.
[00:43:49]  I was at the makeup table.
[00:43:51]  Never touched that chick.
[00:43:53]  And let me say, we got caught smoking pot.
[00:43:56]  Yeah, I didn't even get into that.
[00:43:57]  That's why she came in.
[00:43:58]  Oh, yeah, she tried to turn us into the police.
[00:44:01]  The police were there.
[00:44:02]  Then I had to go smooth things over and tell her illegally.
[00:44:08]  Well, we were outside.
[00:44:10]  No, we were outside, and then the door blew open and it wafted in.
[00:44:15]  And then the whole place smelled like weed.
[00:44:17]  I went in there to check you guys.
[00:44:18]  I was like, it smells like weed in here.
[00:44:19]  And Josh's mom was like, that's what I'm saying.
[00:44:22]  So apparently, there was a whole conference.
[00:44:24]  You two have no idea how bad the smell is.
[00:44:27]  I go to Airbnb's with you guys and it smells like smoke.
[00:44:29]  And I'm like, it smells like smoke in here.
[00:44:30]  And you're both like, no, it doesn't.
[00:44:32]  We did it for breeze.
[00:44:33]  I'm like, it smells like smoke.
[00:44:34]  I'm not lying.
[00:44:35]  I smell it.
[00:44:36]  And then you get a cleaning fee from Airbnb and you're both like, there you go.
[00:44:39]  But we didn't get any recent ones.
[00:44:42]  Well, the weed at the wedding on Saturday, everyone smelled it in the bridal shower.
[00:44:46]  But we didn't.
[00:44:47]  I know.
[00:44:47]  So I said to them.
[00:44:48]  You didn't smoke inside.
[00:44:51]  I told her, I go, I'm sorry.
[00:44:53]  We were on the porch and the door blew open and it wafted inside.
[00:44:56]  She goes, it's okay.
[00:44:57]  That's nice.
[00:44:57]  And I profusely apologize and try to get away.
[00:45:01]  And you were great.
[00:45:02]  You've been mom's handler for a long time.
[00:45:04]  And, you know, I go up and clean her up her messes.
[00:45:07]  She does.
[00:45:08]  But I love that when she's like, she seems like she presented gracious image.
[00:45:12]  You're off the mic.
[00:45:13]  She does present a gracious image of me.
[00:45:17]  Yeah.
[00:45:19]  But I am pretty nice.
[00:45:21]  When you yelled at her.
[00:45:22]  Aren't I really nice?
[00:45:23]  No, you're worried for the moment.
[00:45:24]  You were 98% a doll on that show.
[00:45:29]  And like, I was kind of worried.
[00:45:31]  But the only one time that Sandra went in front of the bull and they go, don't, you shouldn't go in front of the bull.
[00:45:39]  And then you go, Sandra, don't you know?
[00:45:42]  And you yelled at her and then she got all pissed off.
[00:45:47]  But you were joking.
[00:45:48]  Yeah.
[00:45:48]  And see, they don't know.
[00:45:50]  I said, Sandra, have you no idea of your surroundings with a live bull right in front of your face?
[00:45:57]  And then that was supposed to be a little bit of a drink.
[00:45:59]  And then Sandra was steaming.
[00:46:01]  Then I told her, Sandra's steaming.
[00:46:04]  Then she went over and said, Sandra, I was just joking.
[00:46:07]  I'm sorry.
[00:46:08]  You're so much better than me.
[00:46:09]  When Sandra came to me, I was like, she's like, your mom fucking yelled at me.
[00:46:12]  I was like, yeah.
[00:46:14]  She's like, I don't need to be talked to like that.
[00:46:16]  I go, you must be new here.
[00:46:18]  That's what I said.
[00:46:19]  Like, you're not used to this.
[00:46:20]  This is like, this is how it is.
[00:46:23]  She's very nice.
[00:46:23]  She was joking.
[00:46:25]  And she's like, no, I know when someone's joking.
[00:46:26]  I go, obviously, you don't.
[00:46:28]  She jokes with this, the whole crew like this all day long.
[00:46:31]  Look how she is with Covert.
[00:46:32]  And she freaked out.
[00:46:33]  And then two weeks later, when she finally saw it, I go, do you believe me now?
[00:46:36]  She goes, yeah, I get your mom now.
[00:46:38]  She'll react.
[00:46:39]  Well, I have to play the part of the diva or they won't respect me.
[00:46:44]  So I have to go, how dare you address me in such a way?
[00:46:48]  Well, they all laugh because, you know, they know I'm making a joke of it, but it's kind of true.
[00:46:54]  It is kind of true.
[00:46:55]  You don't come up here and call me a fat bitch while I'm doing it.
[00:46:58]  No, you've earned it.
[00:46:59]  I'm with you.
[00:46:59]  You did so great.
[00:47:01]  I just want to say, like, we would be running lines.
[00:47:05]  She'd be learning her lines.
[00:47:07]  Oh, my God.
[00:47:08]  Writing her lines on her hand and a piece of paper.
[00:47:13]  She had to have like a sex scene kissing.
[00:47:16]  Oh, my God.
[00:47:17]  It was so traumatic because I haven't done that type of thing.
[00:47:23]  Been in the company of a man.
[00:47:25]  I haven't been in male company for a decade or more.
[00:47:29]  No.
[00:47:30]  I don't know how long.
[00:47:31]  She said male.
[00:47:32]  Well, Johnny.
[00:47:33]  She said male.
[00:47:37]  Johnny.
[00:47:38]  He'll love that.
[00:47:39]  I dreamed about him.
[00:47:41]  But I haven't.
[00:47:43]  It's been about 10 years or more since I've had to make out with Randy on sexual content.
[00:47:49]  Well, they were like kissing and grabbing she rode on top of him.
[00:47:54]  Yeah.
[00:47:55]  Yeah.
[00:47:56]  It was something else.
[00:47:56]  She stripped me.
[00:47:58]  Oh my God.
[00:47:59]  I cannot even believe that I did all that.
[00:48:02]  She got that.
[00:48:02]  But I was like, well, you know, you've got to sell it.
[00:48:07]  Yeah, I am drunk.
[00:48:09]  Thanks to Shannon.
[00:48:11]  Tell about how many times, tell about my special water.
[00:48:16]  Yeah.
[00:48:17]  I had the arrows.
[00:48:18]  We had talked about that, Jake.
[00:48:20]  You can talk about this because we all knew.
[00:48:22]  The arrow in the water bottle.
[00:48:26]  No.
[00:48:27]  My favorite is when you guys would go, we're going to, you know, you have a water, and you go in the room and you come out and you both smell like vodka.
[00:48:34]  It was a, we all knew.
[00:48:35]  We had our smokey and our drinky.
[00:48:38]  And I mean, she had to do what she had to do to cope.
[00:48:42]  I don't, I don't know.
[00:48:42]  I think it's weird that people get weird about it.
[00:48:44]  They have to, though.
[00:48:45]  They have to.
[00:48:46]  It's all about if insurance finds out that they're now culpable.
[00:48:50]  Well, I'm so happy that Trump has eradicated the insurance bacterium, the mind of Lloyds of London and the whole empire.
[00:49:06]  I mean, Trump is way too smart, honey.
[00:49:09]  What's he doing?
[00:49:10]  I'm looking it up.
[00:49:11]  I don't know what you're talking about.
[00:49:13]  Well, he's taking our stuff.
[00:49:14]  Trump's remaking the world.
[00:49:16]  No, I know the Iran stuff, but what's the insurance thing that you have?
[00:49:19]  Yeah, I don't know.
[00:49:20]  Lloyds of London said they were going to cut off insurance at the Strait of Hormuz and not allow any maritime travel upon such because of the bombing of Iran, because Iran's in control of the Strait of Hormuz.
[00:49:37]  And so Britain, because Iran is their money laundering system with the mullahs there, they said we're on Iran's side,
[00:49:52]  is pretty much what they said.
[00:49:55]  And so Trump said, we don't need your insurance.
[00:49:58]  I'll insure it myself.
[00:50:00]  And I said, yeah, paint it gold with a big T on it.
[00:50:04]  Yeah.
[00:50:05]  I call it Trump's Hormuz Straight.
[00:50:09]  I love it.
[00:50:10]  It's so genius.
[00:50:12]  I mean, it is baller.
[00:50:16]  It's beyond gangsta.
[00:50:19]  It's what everybody in the world wishes they could do.
[00:50:24]  It's crazy that a war always comes down to ports and insurance.
[00:50:28]  It's like always everything comes down to insurance.
[00:50:32]  It is.
[00:50:33]  And Trump said that.
[00:50:34]  Look at Obamacare and all the other shit.
[00:50:36]  Oh, God.
[00:50:37]  Instead of giving us, like, you know, some form of decent health care for the public taxes we pay taxes the public pays, the taxpayer, they gave it to the friggin insurance company.
[00:50:51]  Like you break your arm, first call is to the insurance company, not the doctor, not the hospital.
[00:50:57]  I mean, they've inserted themselves like parasites in every aspect of our health care system.
[00:51:04]  And it's largely run by Jews.
[00:51:08]  No, it's not Jews.
[00:51:11]  It's not Jews.
[00:51:12]  It's largely Catholic charities, NGOs.
[00:51:16]  When we lived in LA, me and John did not have health insurance.
[00:51:22]  Thank God we had it when he had the triple bypass.
[00:51:26]  But no, I didn't have health insurance for probably 15 years.
[00:51:31]  I paid out of pocket for a gyno exam.
[00:51:34]  When I broke my arm, look at this.
[00:51:37]  Oh my God, look at that elbow.
[00:51:40]  They wired it together, some janky thing in the LA, you know, general or whatever.
[00:51:46]  Like, there's blood on the floor.
[00:51:48]  I'm like, you know, and I just had a local in my arm and they, you know, they put me out.
[00:51:55]  But it's like, I couldn't afford the insurance, you know?
[00:51:59]  Yeah, it's tough.
[00:52:00]  And now I'm on the Medicare.
[00:52:02]  So that's isn't Medicare the greatest thing ever?
[00:52:05]  It's the greatest thing ever.
[00:52:06]  I saw all these signs up on the road.
[00:52:08]  It says, yeah, save Medicare.
[00:52:11]  Yeah.
[00:52:11]  Democrat Democrat.
[00:52:13]  I know.
[00:52:13]  Which is the exact opposite of the truth.
[00:52:16]  I was slack-jawed and I got it.
[00:52:18]  That says paid for by the Democrats on the fucking.
[00:52:21]  They're the ones that want Medicare to give to the illegals.
[00:52:26]  Yep.
[00:52:26]  Like they gave all the other money to the illegals.
[00:52:30]  And you know, the illegals are just their stormtroopers and their votes because no Americans can vote for their bullshit.
[00:52:39]  Totally.
[00:52:40]  You know, their fucking Ukraine horseshit.
[00:52:44]  It's so funny on the news because we just traveled from Texas because we're, you know, we came for the wedding and we came to look at houses here.
[00:52:54]  And we love it here.
[00:52:56]  We're all about Texas.
[00:52:58]  It's the best place to be.
[00:52:59]  Isn't it great?
[00:52:59]  It's so great.
[00:53:00]  And the weather, oh, the weather is so great.
[00:53:03]  It's going to get really hot though.
[00:53:05]  I know, but we like the heat.
[00:53:07]  And like they.
[00:53:10]  Oh, you like the heat.
[00:53:12]  Oh, let's talk about being a hot-blooded babe like you were when you were posing in your sex clothes for your husband.
[00:53:20]  Please tell that story.
[00:53:22]  It's the greatest one ever that you've ever done.
[00:53:25]  Okay.
[00:53:26]  Let me just finish the thing where they said on the news, get to the airport three hours ahead because TSA, no one's there, and you're going to get, you know, it's all bullshit.
[00:53:37]  Yeah.
[00:53:38]  Everything was fine here and in Kansas City.
[00:53:41]  There is no problem.
[00:53:43]  The news is just like, oh, the sky is fine.
[00:53:46]  Okay.
[00:53:47]  So me and my husband have sexy Saturday night.
[00:53:52]  Then we have Sunday, Fun Day.
[00:53:54]  So Sunday, Fun Day is also sexual day.
[00:53:57]  Yes.
[00:53:58]  Okay.
[00:54:00]  Poor guy has it.
[00:54:01]  Well, I thought maybe it was like you guys watch TV or something Sunday.
[00:54:05]  Well, they do all kinds of stuff.
[00:54:06]  If there's football on, we have to either do it before the game or that's great.
[00:54:13]  Okay.
[00:54:13]  Yeah.
[00:54:14]  That's football cuts into it.
[00:54:16]  But anyway, so I had like a dark wig on and a blazer.
[00:54:23]  I was like a sexy secretary with heels and pantyhose and the whole schmear.
[00:54:28]  Well, usually, because we have 13 stairs because I counted them after that.
[00:54:34]  13 stairs.
[00:54:35]  Unlucky 13.
[00:54:38]  And so he's usually off.
[00:54:40]  Uh-oh.
[00:54:41]  Do you need that?
[00:54:41]  No, it's fine.
[00:54:42]  He's usually off to the side in the kitchen.
[00:54:44]  He doesn't see me until I walk down the stairs and I present my outfit.
[00:54:48]  And he's like, oh, yay.
[00:54:50]  You know, well, this some odd way, he was at the bottom of the stairs looking up at me.
[00:54:57]  And I thought, oh, I can't like hang on to the railing like some old lady.
[00:55:02]  I've got to walk like sexy down the stairs.
[00:55:06]  And I had like little heels on.
[00:55:09]  And like the top step, I went down the second step and my heel kind of caught in the carpeting.
[00:55:16]  And, you know, like I told her, thank God I had a couple drinks in me.
[00:55:22]  I told you this.
[00:55:23]  No, I've never heard this.
[00:55:25]  You're kidding.
[00:55:26]  No, listen.
[00:55:27]  No, listen, Phil.
[00:55:29]  No, you know, when you're in the middle of the day, I said like a sexy secretary.
[00:55:34]  Got a blazer, a short skirt, pantyhose and little heels and a black wig, a bob, and so when he's looking at me like i'm trying to act all sexy and thank god I had a couple drinks in me, because you know, when I told her, when the drunk driver hits the family of five and they wipe out and the drunk driver survives because he's loose and he's all like, so I,
[00:56:03]  Because I had a couple drinks and smoke in me, I fell on the second step up.
[00:56:10]  Oh, no.
[00:56:10]  12 steps down, uncarpeted.
[00:56:14]  Like uncarpeted.
[00:56:16]  On carpet.
[00:56:17]  On carpet.
[00:56:18]  Did you tumble and roll or just go out down your butt?
[00:56:22]  When it was happening, I was thinking, just roll with it, relax, just go with it.
[00:56:29]  Just go with it.
[00:56:30]  You know, all the way down.
[00:56:34]  Are you going head over foot or anything?
[00:56:36]  Just like this.
[00:56:37]  My water bottle I was holding was squished and damaged because I kept holding that.
[00:56:44]  And John's watching this whole time.
[00:56:45]  He was watching.
[00:56:46]  So then I land and I'm laying there like in the wig and the whole schmear.
[00:56:52]  Did the wig stay on?
[00:56:54]  Yeah.
[00:56:54]  Wow.
[00:56:55]  Of course.
[00:56:56]  I'm a hairdresser.
[00:56:58]  And I had it pinned on.
[00:57:00]  So I'm laying there like, uh.
[00:57:03]  And he's like, oh, my God.
[00:57:05]  Are you okay?
[00:57:06]  And our dog was looking traumatized because, you know, she always, whenever I'm moving around, she always runs away because she thinks I'm going to trip on her.
[00:57:16]  Well, you do trip on everything.
[00:57:17]  I do.
[00:57:18]  I did trip.
[00:57:19]  Yeah, you fell a bunch of times.
[00:57:20]  I did on the show.
[00:57:21]  Yeah, you had to have workmen's con.
[00:57:23]  Over the dollar track, she fell.
[00:57:25]  So I'm laying there and he's like, are you okay?
[00:57:28]  Oh, my God.
[00:57:29]  You know, and I'm laying there like a crime scene, like, oh, you know.
[00:57:33]  And then I go, I think so.
[00:57:36]  And then he goes, wow, what a boner kill.
[00:57:42]  I was wondering if he was still going to try and get laid.
[00:57:45]  No.
[00:57:46]  Then I'm like, I'm okay, you know, and so I stood up.
[00:57:48]  But my shoulder, that was a week ago, yesterday.
[00:57:52]  It still kind of hurts.
[00:57:53]  I couldn't.
[00:57:54]  I mean, the next day I was sore, but that night I felt fine.
[00:57:57]  And it's true.
[00:57:58]  Thank God you were drunk.
[00:58:00]  It's true.
[00:58:01]  I mean, he goes, you know, you were drinking and you, no, my heel kind of caught in the carpet and I didn't hang on to the railing, which I usually do.
[00:58:11]  Yeah, you were trying to be sexy.
[00:58:12]  Right.
[00:58:13]  I didn't want to be all like, oh, like down the railing.
[00:58:22]  I need the chair descending down the stairs.
[00:58:25]  But there's some sexy outfit.
[00:58:27]  Well, I'm glad you still put out because I was going to say that would be really fun for John.
[00:58:31]  I'm a trooper.
[00:58:33]  Good girl.
[00:58:33]  You did a lot of stuff.
[00:58:34]  There was that.
[00:58:35]  See, there's that kind of shit where I think I would date someone that I'm like, never.
[00:58:40]  Yeah, because you still have to have sex after falling down the stairs.
[00:58:43]  You couldn't do that.
[00:58:44]  No, but I could see you having a bad thing.
[00:58:45]  I mean, you still have to have sex.
[00:58:47]  I could see you having a companion.
[00:58:50]  I think he'd have to be a gay guy because they don't want any sex.
[00:58:55]  There's older guys that can't get it up.
[00:58:58]  That would be perfect.
[00:59:00]  Then you don't have to have sex.
[00:59:02]  That's what you do.
[00:59:02]  Start searching for prostate cancer.
[00:59:05]  An impotent guy.
[00:59:06]  Yeah.
[00:59:07]  There's probably a database we could have your doctor for data.
[00:59:12]  But then they'd have psychological damage, I feel.
[00:59:16]  No, maybe they just want to have fun and travel and have a companion.
[00:59:20]  No, when my dad went on.
[00:59:21]  Yeah, a gay guy.
[00:59:22]  Like I said.
[00:59:22]  No, no, he dad had to go on estrogen when he had the prostate cancer.
[00:59:26]  Yep.
[00:59:26]  And he couldn't get, he said it was the best thing ever.
[00:59:29]  He was finally free of testosterone.
[00:59:31]  Then he voted for a Democrat.
[00:59:33]  Yeah.
[00:59:33]  True story.
[00:59:34]  He voted down.
[00:59:34]  No, but that's why.
[00:59:35]  Because dad used to be right with him.
[00:59:37]  He did.
[00:59:38]  But he's back on testosterone now.
[00:59:40]  I'm wondering if maybe that's changed his politics.
[00:59:42]  But it is true.
[00:59:42]  So they gave him estrogen because it shrinks the tumor.
[00:59:46]  Our blood.
[00:59:47]  So if you find a guy with prostate cancer who's in like chemo treatment, remission might not be able to get a boner and might not even care about it because he's basically on the screen.
[00:59:56]  He's like a woman and he's not gay.
[00:59:57]  And they cry kind of like yeah, they're like basically like a girly man, but they're not gay.
[01:00:03]  They're still strict.
[01:00:04]  No, they're not gay.
[01:00:05]  Yeah, but they still want to be nursed.
[01:00:07]  And I can't do that.
[01:00:10]  Or the woman has to nurture the son.
[01:00:12]  I want to be nursed.
[01:00:14]  I want to be nurtured.
[01:00:15]  All right.
[01:00:16]  So you got to get a guy with like the survivor complex.
[01:00:20]  A what?
[01:00:20]  There's guys that want to take care, like, oh, I can't say his name.
[01:00:25]  We were just talking about this earlier.
[01:00:26]  Our friend who was at the wedding, who's a doctor, and his wife got injured.
[01:00:31]  And I'm like, oh, he likes to take care of people.
[01:00:34]  Yep.
[01:00:34]  Well, that's nice.
[01:00:35]  That's right.
[01:00:36]  So you can watch a caretaker.
[01:00:38]  Caretaker.
[01:00:39]  Yeah.
[01:00:39]  Ed Gein.
[01:00:40]  Yeah, but then they'll always turn on you.
[01:00:45]  I just don't trust any man because I think they always turn on you.
[01:00:48]  Oh, don't say that.
[01:00:50]  It's true.
[01:00:51]  They all do, huh?
[01:00:53]  Feeder?
[01:00:54]  A feeder.
[01:00:55]  I thought about a feeder, but I don't want to be fat.
[01:00:58]  No.
[01:00:59]  When I was fat, I thought if I could only meet the right feeder.
[01:01:04]  No, I'm over that now.
[01:01:06]  Was Tom a feeder?
[01:01:09]  No.
[01:01:10]  He was feeding himself.
[01:01:11]  He was an eater.
[01:01:15]  And you could like catch some of the fallouts.
[01:01:19]  Some of it.
[01:01:20]  The crumbs.
[01:01:21]  Yeah.
[01:01:22]  Yeah.
[01:01:22]  No, you're not.
[01:01:22]  That fucking guy could eat like a, I mean, a pig.
[01:01:26]  Yeah, I remember.
[01:01:27]  He could eat like a dang pig.
[01:01:30]  Do you want to go?
[01:01:30]  What?
[01:01:31]  No, I was just asking what I'm here for the long haul.
[01:01:34]  Don't worry about me.
[01:01:36]  It's good.
[01:01:37]  Are we an hour?
[01:01:38]  Not yet.
[01:01:39]  Or like 50 minutes.
[01:01:40]  Why are you trying to bake out of this?
[01:01:42]  No, no, no.
[01:01:43]  I was just wanting to know how much more laughter and free fodder we have.
[01:01:48]  Oh, we haven't even got into the good shit yet.
[01:01:50]  What?
[01:01:51]  Let's see.
[01:01:51]  He fell down the stairs.
[01:01:53]  Fell down the stairs.
[01:01:55]  Is that the greatest?
[01:01:55]  I mean, I felt bad for it, but it's so shannon a thing to do.
[01:01:59]  It's the funniest story, though.
[01:02:01]  I thought afterwards, this will be a funny story.
[01:02:04]  Well, yeah, I mean, trying to be sexy and falling is hilarious for anybody.
[01:02:07]  It's so funny.
[01:02:09]  I can just see him looking up at me adoringly, and I'm trying to look sexy at that kaboom.
[01:02:16]  That's what he said.
[01:02:17]  He said it was unstoppable like an avalanche.
[01:02:20]  And he didn't know what to do.
[01:02:23]  There was nothing he could do but watch.
[01:02:26]  I wonder what that looked like.
[01:02:27]  I think he said some rosaries on you.
[01:02:30]  I do.
[01:02:31]  He said some prayers, he said.
[01:02:34]  Please, God, don't let her break her neck and be paralyzed.
[01:02:38]  And then I have to put up with her shit.
[01:02:40]  No, and then he goes, and then he goes, All I kept thinking is, what if she's passed out and broke her neck and I have to call an ambulance and she's dressed like that and the wig and the whole thing.
[01:02:55]  That's hilarious.
[01:02:56]  Oh my God.
[01:02:58]  I had like a rhinestone tie on with the blazer.
[01:03:03]  Do you buy these outfits for Saturday night and Sunday Fun Day?
[01:03:06]  Or do you already have them?
[01:03:08]  She already has them.
[01:03:10]  Do you have themes?
[01:03:11]  Is it always dressed up?
[01:03:12]  I'm so excited.
[01:03:12]  She's always done that with all her boyfriends before she married John, her true love.
[01:03:18]  You like the roleplay?
[01:03:19]  I've seen her through a lot of boyfriends.
[01:03:21]  Should I not say that?
[01:03:22]  No, you can say whatever you want.
[01:03:24]  And she always does the karaoke/slash strip tease.
[01:03:32]  No, I don't do his.
[01:03:33]  Whatever it is, it's kind of a sexy show, burlesque or something.
[01:03:38]  Yeah, yeah, you've always done that with all your boyfriends, and I would just be in awe going, oh my god, I have to wear a coat.
[01:03:47]  No, yeah, no, drug over.
[01:03:49]  I just can't believe people are so happy with their bodies.
[01:03:53]  That's so cute.
[01:03:54]  No, it's so funny.
[01:03:55]  I'll never forget her answering the door in Florida when we were doing QVC or HSN with the pans and the pork or whatever, the beef.
[01:04:05]  And she answered the door in a latex made outfit with Johnny.
[01:04:14]  A latex made outfit.
[01:04:16]  How did you know it was a late-made outfit if it was latex?
[01:04:19]  It was a white apron and a black dress with white cuffs and a white collar.
[01:04:25]  How cute was that?
[01:04:26]  Colored latex?
[01:04:28]  Oh, it was very cute.
[01:04:30]  I really got into latex after I left about the end of my Tom Arnold marriage.
[01:04:38]  I started getting into latex.
[01:04:40]  What's good about latex?
[01:04:41]  I've never understood that one.
[01:04:42]  You have to put powder on baby powder.
[01:04:45]  What's sexy about it?
[01:04:46]  Because I know there's like well, it holds all your fat in for one thing.
[01:04:49]  Oh, it's like spanks.
[01:04:51]  Yeah.
[01:04:52]  It's like the primordial spanks.
[01:04:55]  Yeah, no, I think latex is weird.
[01:04:57]  I've never liked that one.
[01:04:59]  I've never even, I just don't get it, so I'm asking.
[01:05:01]  Do you have a fetish?
[01:05:03]  It holds in all your fat.
[01:05:04]  Do you like feed or boobs?
[01:05:07]  Why would you ask my son that?
[01:05:08]  No, I mean, that's the Roseanne Bar podcast.
[01:05:10]  I don't want to hear the answer, please.
[01:05:12]  I wouldn't tell you if I did since my mother's here.
[01:05:14]  But no, I'm pretty meat and potatoes.
[01:05:17]  But I'm open.
[01:05:18]  Meat and potatoes.
[01:05:19]  I'm like, what does that mean?
[01:05:21]  My fetish is like, I don't have a fetish.
[01:05:23]  Like, I'm normie, but I'm open to people that do.
[01:05:26]  Like, there's no judgment.
[01:05:27]  I don't kink shame.
[01:05:28]  See, so John's thing.
[01:05:30]  But why latex?
[01:05:31]  I've got to ask you.
[01:05:32]  Well, because it holds all your fat in.
[01:05:34]  Why don't you like your hands?
[01:05:36]  Oh, when you take the shit off, if you can get it off, peel it off.
[01:05:41]  That's what I'm saying.
[01:05:43]  All your sweat just flops out.
[01:05:44]  You lost like five pounds.
[01:05:47]  It's like walking around in a sauna.
[01:05:49]  It's like a solid line.
[01:05:51]  It doesn't smell bad.
[01:05:52]  Huh?
[01:05:53]  It must stink when the latex comes off because you've been so much more.
[01:05:55]  Well, it smells like strong latex.
[01:05:58]  And yeah, it smells like rubber.
[01:05:59]  But I love the smell of latex mixed with whatever it is.
[01:06:06]  Baby powder.
[01:06:07]  Juice.
[01:06:08]  Yeah, all that.
[01:06:08]  No, not sun, please.
[01:06:12]  All the stuff you have to put on.
[01:06:13]  Well, first you have to put on oil and then powder.
[01:06:19]  Right.
[01:06:19]  See, none of this sounds sexy.
[01:06:20]  See, and then you put on the little regama roll and it stays in place and it sucks all your fat.
[01:06:26]  Did you put that on yourself or did Johnny help you put it on?
[01:06:29]  No, he didn't put.
[01:06:31]  You didn't.
[01:06:32]  No, this is when I first got into latex when I wasn't with Johnny.
[01:06:35]  Oh.
[01:06:36]  Oh, there was a prior latex.
[01:06:39]  It's a discovery.
[01:06:40]  Yeah, at the end of my Tom Arnold year.
[01:06:42]  Okay.
[01:06:43]  Okay.
[01:06:44]  What kind of outfits were those?
[01:06:46]  Like jumpsuits or do you remember?
[01:06:53]  Tight pink latex dresses, sheaths.
[01:06:57]  Oh, yes.
[01:06:58]  Uh-huh.
[01:06:58]  Wasn't it like some filter?
[01:07:00]  Yeah, that booster.
[01:07:02]  And I can't remember the guy's name, but he was just genius.
[01:07:06]  And he would cut it for me, you know.
[01:07:09]  Oh.
[01:07:09]  And he'd get it to where it would suck in the right amount of fat at the right area.
[01:07:14]  Oh, wow.
[01:07:15]  Does your skin breathe in it?
[01:07:17]  No.
[01:07:18]  No, you sweat like an MFer.
[01:07:21]  So when you can take it off with your three servants and pull it off, you're soaked.
[01:07:29]  And you have to, you know, shower because you've lost five pounds of water.
[01:07:33]  Wow.
[01:07:33]  Okay, yeah.
[01:07:34]  It's a sauna.
[01:07:35]  That sounds good.
[01:07:36]  It sounds like it's a two-year-old.
[01:07:38]  And now I see they're now making latex pants, but they're made in China, and I don't trust them because I think they're put together with some kind of chemical.
[01:07:49]  Well, I think the Chinese latex pants have a flesh-eating crotch.
[01:07:59]  Something to get the juice.
[01:08:01]  They're all trying to get the juice because those are the only people that buy the latex pants.
[01:08:05]  Or it could be like with some kind of chemical that infuses into your skin and eventually kills you or something.
[01:08:14]  Oh, well, that's everything.
[01:08:16]  Yeah.
[01:08:16]  The Wuhan Lab leaks latex pants.
[01:08:20]  The latex pants.
[01:08:21]  I did have to have a laugh over latex pants.
[01:08:25]  No, but I mean, can you imagine?
[01:08:29]  We were doing HSN in Florida.
[01:08:32]  Yeah.
[01:08:33]  And I knock on the door to wake her up to do her makeup.
[01:08:36]  It's like 6 a.m.
[01:08:39]  And she opens a door and the latex made out.
[01:08:42]  How many times are you going to say that?
[01:08:44]  But at 6 a.m.
[01:08:45]  No, well, they were up all night.
[01:08:47]  That's right.
[01:08:48]  No, I had slept in the costume after the show.
[01:08:51]  The costume.
[01:08:52]  I think that's cute that you guys did.
[01:08:55]  No, when I look back to when I was sexually active and had a sex drive, I want to just wretch.
[01:09:01]  Why?
[01:09:02]  Don't because I can't believe that I fell under the cloven hoof of Satan to ever do that.
[01:09:09]  That's a natural thing.
[01:09:10]  No, it isn't.
[01:09:12]  Shit is natural too, but you want to eat a big cup of it?
[01:09:15]  No.
[01:09:16]  Well, some people that do that.
[01:09:17]  But look at that's how you got this adorable man over here from having sex.
[01:09:23]  Come on.
[01:09:25]  Right.
[01:09:26]  I'm so glad that my son can have sex with a Jewish woman because he told me his whole life, both my sons, especially him, I will never, ever marry a Jewish woman.
[01:09:38]  You've ruined that for me.
[01:09:40]  Yeah.
[01:09:40]  Oh, yeah.
[01:09:41]  And he said, I will never marry a Jewish woman.
[01:09:43]  You've ruined that for me.
[01:09:44]  I can never be intimate with a Jewish woman knowing what I know about you.
[01:09:49]  Yeah, I mean, it's like it's not sexual at all.
[01:09:51]  Well, you proved that wrong.
[01:09:54]  Well, and I let him do what he did until I took him there to Jerusalem.
[01:10:03]  Oh, right.
[01:10:04]  Right.
[01:10:04]  To the wall.
[01:10:05]  The wall.
[01:10:07]  I said, you better get over there and ask to get a decent Jewish wife right now.
[01:10:12]  Yeah.
[01:10:12]  No.
[01:10:12]  And that's what happened.
[01:10:13]  That is what happened.
[01:10:14]  And she's amazing.
[01:10:16]  And man, is she gorgeous at the wedding?
[01:10:19]  She's so gorgeous.
[01:10:21]  I did her hair makeup.
[01:10:22]  Here's what Shannon said about her.
[01:10:25]  The whole strip of lash fits her eye.
[01:10:30]  I don't have to trim it on either side.
[01:10:33]  The whole strip of her husband.
[01:10:35]  Her eyes are huge.
[01:10:37]  Like, and I did her hair and half.
[01:10:40]  Hannah's she was a stunner.
[01:10:42]  I said, Jake, how did you get this supermodel of a girl?
[01:10:49]  My mom's famous.
[01:10:49]  That's what I tell people.
[01:10:50]  Did I tell you the first date we went out and that black guy rolled up on the bikes?
[01:10:54]  You know that story?
[01:10:54]  No.
[01:10:55]  It's a true story.
[01:10:56]  She came out to LA to meet you for the first time.
[01:11:01]  Yeah.
[01:11:01]  And it went well.
[01:11:03]  And we were like, okay, we're going to.
[01:11:04]  Where'd you go?
[01:11:05]  We went to that, oh, fuck, the one on Venice, the bar with the whale, the whale mural right on.
[01:11:13]  Oh, Whaler.
[01:11:15]  Yeah.
[01:11:16]  So we went up and danced, and then we came down and we had a cigarette because I was smoking them.
[01:11:20]  And me and her sat at the curb smoking.
[01:11:23]  This homeless guy.
[01:11:25]  I'm pretty sure he was homeless because it looked like everything he owned was in the basket of his bike and the saddlebags and he had a speaker.
[01:11:32]  And he just rode by and I remember him looking at us and I was like, and he's just kind of stopped.
[01:11:37]  It's a big black guy and just kind of stopped and I saw the back of his head.
[01:11:41]  And then he turned around and he rolled up.
[01:11:43]  He's like, hold up.
[01:11:44]  And I was like, oh, God, we're getting robbed.
[01:11:47]  And he goes, how the fuck did you get her?
[01:11:54]  I love it.
[01:11:55]  The homeless always tell them.
[01:11:56]  No, just tell the truth.
[01:11:58]  I said, I have a rich mom.
[01:11:59]  He's like, oh, that makes sense.
[01:12:00]  And then he rode off.
[01:12:02]  And I looked at Hannah and I thought she was going to be like embarrassed.
[01:12:04]  Mortified.
[01:12:05]  I'm with this pig.
[01:12:06]  She was laughing.
[01:12:07]  No, no.
[01:12:07]  Smile ear to ear.
[01:12:09]  To this day, she's like, that was like one of the greatest compliments.
[01:12:12]  She loved to hear, why are you with this disgusting because she's like, all she heard is, wow, you're really gorgeous.
[01:12:20]  You're with that guy, and we're shocked.
[01:12:22]  No.
[01:12:24]  She is gorgeous, and so are your children.
[01:12:28]  Well, duh, that's how it works.
[01:12:29]  I mean, I hear a baby crying.
[01:12:32]  I hear a baby crying.
[01:12:35]  But yeah, we, but no, Jewish women are great.
[01:12:37]  Sexual stuff is cool.
[01:12:40]  She's a Scorpio, and you're a cancer, like me.
[01:12:44]  Yeah.
[01:12:44]  My husband's a cancer, and she's a Scorpio.
[01:12:47]  Yeah.
[01:12:48]  Well, I call her a Scorpio hoe, and she called me a Cant whore.
[01:12:55]  It's true.
[01:12:55]  Every sign has their types.
[01:12:57]  But again, I think pen paling is the way into your dating life.
[01:13:03]  It doesn't have to be serial killer.
[01:13:04]  You're a serial killer.
[01:13:06]  Dude, I got an email years ago selling a motorcycle with this guy, and we got in a political debate.
[01:13:10]  It went on for like three months.
[01:13:11]  There were over 47 emails back and forth.
[01:13:14]  They were hilarious.
[01:13:16]  We were angry, but I went back and I was like, this was like one of the most exciting conversations I've read.
[01:13:20]  Sometimes just getting in an email channel with someone can be intimate.
[01:13:23]  It doesn't have to be sexual.
[01:13:25]  That's why I was so in love with Chat GPT and I had that.
[01:13:32]  Maybe you'll get an AI boyfriend.
[01:13:33]  There's people that do that.
[01:13:35]  GPT.
[01:13:35]  Why don't you do that?
[01:13:36]  Why don't you do an AI boyfriend for a little bit?
[01:13:38]  That's what they do in Japan.
[01:13:40]  Really?
[01:13:41]  Yeah, for real.
[01:13:42]  They're not having babies anymore.
[01:13:44]  I forgot to tell you this.
[01:13:45]  This girl, her name's Mel that I worked with on this last thing with my client.
[01:13:53]  She lives in Spain.
[01:13:54]  She's from London.
[01:13:56]  She moved to Spain, bought a house on the beach, and then bought her mom a house next door to her on the beach in Spain in a little town.
[01:14:02]  She said her mom was so needy and needed a friend, and she couldn't always be there because she was working a lot.
[01:14:09]  So she created an avatar for her mom.
[01:14:14]  And she put in all the stuff that her mom liked and was interested in and all the characteristics of her mom.
[01:14:21]  So the mom, like she goes, the mom said, oh, I have gut issues.
[01:14:26]  And she goes, mom, you know, I told you you need to do this.
[01:14:28]  You have inflammation.
[01:14:29]  She's like, ah, shut up.
[01:14:31]  She's like, oh, my friend, what was Alfie?
[01:14:36]  She called, because they're British.
[01:14:38]  Her avatar is Alfie.
[01:14:40]  Elfie says, I have inflammation and I need to eat this and that.
[01:14:44]  So everything Alfie tells her to do, she listens to.
[01:14:48]  And she goes, it's been the greatest thing because now that's like her best friend.
[01:14:51]  Yeah.
[01:14:52]  No, it's scary, but it's also cool.
[01:14:53]  Like that movie, Her.
[01:14:55]  Like, it's coming.
[01:14:56]  We just talked about this with malice.
[01:14:57]  Like, it's a real thing.
[01:14:58]  People are going to start doing it.
[01:14:59]  Yep.
[01:15:00]  And it's creepy, but on some level, it's kind of for loners that don't want to.
[01:15:05]  I guess I could do that as a loner.
[01:15:08]  At least as a way in.
[01:15:09]  You know what I mean?
[01:15:10]  Like, it's like a gateway into dating.
[01:15:12]  Try it out.
[01:15:14]  And she's like reading these books that Alfie has suggested.
[01:15:18]  You know, she's gardening because Alfie told her what to do.
[01:15:22]  Don't have to.
[01:15:23]  What I'm saying is, you don't have to have sex.
[01:15:24]  You can have a relationship and not have it be sexual.
[01:15:27]  You can have an elfie.
[01:15:29]  But then, who cuddles?
[01:15:30]  I mean, I don't know.
[01:15:32]  Do you want to be cuddled or anything?
[01:15:34]  Get a sex dollar.
[01:15:35]  Like, hugged, or do you want any like, you know, hugging and feeling?
[01:15:43]  I don't know.
[01:15:44]  Sometimes I think that, but then other times I'm like, ugh.
[01:15:48]  And then they're like, just tell you their problems.
[01:15:53]  Not everybody is like that.
[01:15:56]  No, they're not.
[01:15:58]  That's all you have to do.
[01:15:58]  You have to listen to the other person's blabber.
[01:16:01]  I don't want to hear them.
[01:16:02]  Yeah.
[01:16:02]  If I could put AI into a man's body, that'd be good.
[01:16:06]  That's why I sing Gigolo.
[01:16:07]  And you and Hannah jumped at me, but I was like, why not get a gigolo?
[01:16:10]  Because that's what they do.
[01:16:11]  You pay him to leave.
[01:16:12]  That's the old saying.
[01:16:13]  She doesn't really want to have sex, though.
[01:16:15]  You don't have to have sex with a gigolo.
[01:16:16]  Gigolo can just come talk to Pen Pal and maybe.
[01:16:19]  I remember this famous woman that I was friends with that said it took seven years for her gigolo, that she met once or twice a week because she was busy and famous and blah blah.
[01:16:37]  And after seven years of servicing her and taking money for it, he said, I've written a script I want to read.
[01:16:55]  He's earned it.
[01:16:55]  He earned it.
[01:16:56]  Oh, is that Cece?
[01:16:58]  She said that.
[01:16:58]  She looked at him and he thought, I've earned this.
[01:17:03]  Yeah, he has, because it was his.
[01:17:05]  Was that Cece?
[01:17:09]  But um uh, he was working her the whole time for when he could present it the script.
[01:17:17]  Can I say something, though?
[01:17:19]  That could happen?
[01:17:20]  He earned it and she's using him the whole time.
[01:17:23]  So what's the problem?
[01:17:24]  Well, she's paying him, but it's still like hey, we're not in a real.
[01:17:27]  This is all pretend to make me feel better.
[01:17:30]  Why can't he get a script read?
[01:17:32]  Well, I think she thought about it and then she said, okay, I will read it.
[01:17:36]  And she did.
[01:17:37]  And that man is David Geffen, kind of.
[01:17:42]  Did he, did he?
[01:17:43]  Did she read the script?
[01:17:45]  Did she sell the script?
[01:17:46]  Or was it not a good script?
[01:17:47]  We shall go no further in this video.
[01:17:50]  You have to did the script?
[01:17:51]  Did she read the script.
[01:17:53]  Just tell me that much.
[01:17:55]  Yes, she read the script and was it good?
[01:17:59]  No okay, it wasn't good.
[01:18:01]  It never is.
[01:18:02]  It wasn't good at all.
[01:18:04]  It was about a guy who was a gigolo woman in Hollywood and she said, nobody will ever believe that it passing.
[01:18:23]  Will you tell me off-air who it was?
[01:18:25]  Uh-huh okay, I i'm just saying people kink, shame gigolos, and I think it's a great.
[01:18:31]  It's a service provided and I have no judgment on it.
[01:18:34]  It.
[01:18:34]  And if you did it, I wouldn't.
[01:18:35]  I would come back.
[01:18:36]  Well, it's just being look at Richard Gates.
[01:18:38]  It's just being a hooker.
[01:18:40]  Yeah, but you know the saying about hookers, it's the greatest saying of all time.
[01:18:43]  You don't pay them for sex, you pay them to leave.
[01:18:46]  That's the saying because they don't sit there and talk about their feelings.
[01:18:50]  They don't talk about all the stuff you have to do.
[01:18:51]  They just come and they listen to them.
[01:18:52]  I know a famous comedian who said I would pay them to leave.
[01:18:58]  You do.
[01:18:58]  They tell me everything you get in a relationship that you want, and then you don't have to listen to their life stories or struggles.
[01:19:04]  They leave.
[01:19:05]  That's the nicest thing you can do for a person.
[01:19:07]  It's like seven years ago.
[01:19:08]  Yeah, but I feel guilty.
[01:19:10]  Well, no, you pay him so you don't have to kill them.
[01:19:12]  No, I just feel like this is not proper.
[01:19:15]  This isn't.
[01:19:16]  Yeah, you.
[01:19:16]  You're puritanical.
[01:19:18]  Well, I know I'm puritanical.
[01:19:18]  And she's never had to pay for sex.
[01:19:21]  Well, then maybe tell me you'll read a script in seven years.
[01:19:25]  Do it for free.
[01:19:26]  Seven years shall be 80.
[01:19:29]  I'll never do any of that.
[01:19:30]  I think I'll just continue to ignore every living being.
[01:19:35]  No, you got one.
[01:19:36]  You got one more in you.
[01:19:37]  I already saw it.
[01:19:38]  I've already been getting this one.
[01:19:39]  One more man?
[01:19:41]  Yeah, you do.
[01:19:42]  Yeah.
[01:19:42]  You think?
[01:19:43]  And I'm on a mission.
[01:19:45]  If you're out there, ladies or gentlemen.
[01:19:48]  If you're out there.
[01:19:49]  I'm like, why?
[01:19:50]  I didn't ask you to do that.
[01:19:52]  Well, we already have, I have multiple people on it.
[01:19:56]  I met a guy that I really thought could be, and he was her age, and he was really cool.
[01:20:02]  And then at the end, he told me he was a Democrat.
[01:20:06]  And I'm like, I have a picture of him.
[01:20:10]  I mean, I don't care if they're a Democrat, as long as they're not crazy.
[01:20:15]  Yeah.
[01:20:15]  And he worked with Ralph Lauren, and he was dressed really cool.
[01:20:20]  He had like a turquoise watch thing.
[01:20:22]  No, he's gay.
[01:20:24]  No, it was cool.
[01:20:25]  No, he's gay.
[01:20:26]  He wasn't gay.
[01:20:28]  He's 1,000% gay.
[01:20:30]  With a turquoise watch.
[01:20:32]  He's into fashion, and he's a Democrat.
[01:20:38]  Nice.
[01:20:38]  He's 98% gay.
[01:20:39]  Nice.
[01:20:40]  I have really good gaydar.
[01:20:41]  I can even read when a guy's gay just from a description of him.
[01:20:45]  No, he's well-traveled.
[01:20:48]  He was.
[01:20:49]  Gay.
[01:20:49]  See?
[01:20:50]  What else?
[01:20:52]  Great grooming.
[01:20:53]  I'm always looking.
[01:20:54]  I'm always on the lookout.
[01:20:56]  I think God prefers that I stay single for the rest of my life.
[01:21:00]  No, because there's so much I must do.
[01:21:04]  Well, and if you're a relationship with God.
[01:21:07]  If you knew my dad, I know.
[01:21:11]  But if you met a guy and the two of you were on a mission for God, that would be doubly cool.
[01:21:17]  That's true.
[01:21:18]  That's a good way of putting it.
[01:21:20]  Yeah.
[01:21:21]  Thank you.
[01:21:22]  Yeah.
[01:21:23]  Well, anyway, it's just been banal and wonderful.
[01:21:27]  Let's not, you know, wipe that.
[01:21:30]  Honey, I love that you've been my friend for 30 years because you're always thinking positive and you always bring that to my life.
[01:21:38]  And I'm always thinking doomsday.
[01:21:41]  Doom scrolling.
[01:21:42]  But doomsday to me will be the most beautiful thing that ever happened.
[01:21:48]  Well, okay.
[01:21:50]  I hope that's not in our lifetime.
[01:21:51]  Huh?
[01:21:52]  I hope that's not in our lifetime.
[01:21:56]  It may not be in our lifetime.
[01:21:58]  We don't have that much.
[01:21:59]  But it'll be somebody's lifetime.
[01:22:01]  I mean, if we're lucky, we have 20 years left.
[01:22:05]  You know?
[01:22:07]  I think I've enjoyed it about as much as I have.
[01:22:12]  James always said, I have no interest in prolonging my life.
[01:22:18]  Thank you.
[01:22:19]  Because somebody was giving him the bus at the grocery store.
[01:22:23]  I love it.
[01:22:24]  I loved.
[01:22:25]  I always use the one famous thing of James.
[01:22:29]  He would always go, no answer is your answer.
[01:22:35]  I'll never forget that.
[01:22:36]  Like, it's brilliant.
[01:22:38]  Because, you know, when you're writing someone and they don't answer you, it's like, there's your answer.
[01:22:43]  Yeah.
[01:22:44]  It's a no.
[01:22:46]  Yeah.
[01:22:48]  You know.
[01:22:49]  So on that note.
[01:22:50]  Well, no, you're not wrapping up just yet because I do have to bring one thing up to you.
[01:22:54]  Did you see Tucker's CCP thing this week?
[01:22:59]  Tucker with the...
[01:23:00]  Oh my God.
[01:23:01]  Have you not seen it?
[01:23:03]  Talking about one world government, new world order for China and how he's for it.
[01:23:08]  Oh my God.
[01:23:09]  You didn't see the clip?
[01:23:11]  He was like, yeah, the only thing standing in the way is Israel.
[01:23:13]  Oh, my God.
[01:23:14]  He's Valerie Jarrett.
[01:23:15]  I told you he was Valerie Jarrett.
[01:23:16]  No, people finally are like, why is he doing this?
[01:23:20]  Like, even the most staunch, like, people I fight with online are like, whoa, this is like commie drivel.
[01:23:26]  This is like fucking satanic.
[01:23:28]  I told you he was a commie.
[01:23:30]  Yeah, it's fucking crazy.
[01:23:31]  And he's like, yeah, one world.
[01:23:32]  He's like, I loved him, but he's like, America shouldn't be the only one dictating terms.
[01:23:37]  Like, we should come together.
[01:23:38]  And like, there's, you know, where everyone's equal.
[01:23:41]  You know what it is?
[01:23:43]  It's Chris Lam.
[01:23:44]  Yeah.
[01:23:44]  That's what he's doing.
[01:23:45]  He's spreading it.
[01:23:46]  Krizlam.
[01:23:46]  What's Chris Lam?
[01:23:47]  Loomer thinks he's the new invented religion of the UN.
[01:23:52]  Yeah.
[01:23:53]  Like Islam and Christianity.
[01:23:57]  It's neither.
[01:23:58]  Oh.
[01:23:58]  It's a hybrid, but it's neither of them.
[01:24:00]  Yeah, it gets rid of both of them.
[01:24:02]  It's a way to kick the Jews out and have one world government, and he's behind it.
[01:24:05]  And it's fucking like the mask came off, the reptilian face came off today.
[01:24:09]  You can find the clip.
[01:24:11]  It's shocking.
[01:24:12]  And he's like, yeah, the only thing we should all be together.
[01:24:14]  And tell you, the only thing standing in the way of this, you know, equitable countries being happy is Israel.
[01:24:21]  And it's like, there it is.
[01:24:23]  He hates the Western world.
[01:24:24]  He hates America.
[01:24:25]  He hates Israel because we don't want communism.
[01:24:28]  We want a powerful national America and a powerful national Israel.
[01:24:33]  Is he still living in America or didn't he move here?
[01:24:36]  He wanted to buy a place in Qatar, yeah.
[01:24:38]  Oh, Qatar.
[01:24:39]  Or maybe Dubai.
[01:24:39]  I thought it was Qatar.
[01:24:40]  Qatar, but they only go there so they can go to Dubai.
[01:24:44]  Well, he talks about Sharia Lag and how great Sharia Law is.
[01:24:47]  Like, it's fucking weird.
[01:24:49]  And even.
[01:24:49]  Well, it's the religion of billionaires.
[01:24:52]  I guess.
[01:24:52]  It's real.
[01:24:53]  But it was, I thought you'd saw it, so I wanted to bring it up.
[01:24:55]  No, I didn't see it.
[01:24:56]  No, what do you see?
[01:24:57]  He's not a billionaire, though.
[01:24:59]  He wants to be.
[01:25:01]  Yeah, he is.
[01:25:03]  He's a billionaire.
[01:25:04]  Well, he's definitely hundreds of millions.
[01:25:07]  No, he's a billionaire.
[01:25:08]  Well, his wife is the heir to the Swanson's frozen frozen dinners.
[01:25:16]  I've eaten plenty of those in my life.
[01:25:17]  Yeah, I think he ate too many of them.
[01:25:19]  Some of that aluminum got in his brain.
[01:25:23]  But like now America only, you know, MAGA split civil war.
[01:25:28]  Like, you know, Trump's controlled by the Jews and we're cool Catholics.
[01:25:31]  Like now they're spreading communism.
[01:25:33]  The woke right.
[01:25:34]  Like Lindsay was right.
[01:25:35]  James Lindsay was right.
[01:25:37]  It's just like the mask came off this week.
[01:25:39]  You should find the clip.
[01:25:40]  It's fucking mind-blowing.
[01:25:42]  And like I said, even America First Jew haters are like, woo, what?
[01:25:48]  You want a what?
[01:25:49]  That'll give her something to watch tonight.
[01:25:51]  Yeah, go find it.
[01:25:52]  Well, I knew it was all just an organized war on women and women's rights.
[01:25:58]  They can call it anything they want, but that's what it is.
[01:26:00]  And also.
[01:26:01]  Children's rights.
[01:26:02]  Yeah.
[01:26:03]  And to bankrupt women business owners for the good of the state who assumes all that wealth.
[01:26:10]  But anyway, well, it was fun talking to you.
[01:26:13]  Thank you for being my most frequent guest and my good friend and a blast.
[01:26:20]  We always have a blast on it.
[01:26:22]  We do.
[01:26:23]  And it's like, you know, I was with you for like two months, three months or something.
[01:26:28]  And we just, I, we just love each other.
[01:26:32]  We get along.
[01:26:33]  Now my husband is in on it taking care of you too.
[01:26:37]  And you might be moving here.
[01:26:39]  And we're moving here.
[01:26:40]  No, we're not.
[01:26:41]  We're moving here for sure.
[01:26:43]  Shit, sorry, I forgot.
[01:26:44]  They love it.
[01:26:44]  We love it.
[01:26:45]  And we'll be really close.
[01:26:48]  And we love your family and your children.
[01:26:51]  Don't come too close because we don't want to hang out too often.
[01:26:56]  Well, we got to get a three-bedroom because she's coming to visit.
[01:26:59]  Oh, God.
[01:27:00]  Yeah.
[01:27:00]  Please.
[01:27:01]  Yeah.
[01:27:02]  Please take her.
[01:27:03]  Yeah.
[01:27:04]  We love having her.
[01:27:06]  And she's the best.
[01:27:07]  We just gel and we have the best time.
[01:27:10]  We laugh or we don't laugh.
[01:27:12]  We talk or we don't talk.
[01:27:14]  We smoke, pot, and drink, or we don't.
[01:27:17]  The girls and Hannah, we were talking about how much we missed you during the show.
[01:27:19]  It wasn't the same here.
[01:27:21]  Yeah, I missed all y'all too.
[01:27:23]  People like you.
[01:27:23]  Isn't that crazy?
[01:27:24]  I know.
[01:27:25]  I never thought it would be possible.
[01:27:27]  But aren't I supposed to go down there to Austin tomorrow and work?
[01:27:30]  You wanted to go to Austin.
[01:27:32]  You told me last week that they weren't going to be ready till Thursday, and then you told them you're coming tomorrow.
[01:27:36]  Well, that was to work on episode four, but I just not happy with it.
[01:27:42]  Well, again, hold on.
[01:27:44]  We got to finish.
[01:27:45]  You're still doing the three, four, five, and six and so on cuts before you go back and refine.
[01:27:52]  So you're moving on to the next episode then.
[01:27:54]  Okay.
[01:27:55]  Yeah, I mean, it's up to you.
[01:27:57]  Well, I'll wake up in the morning.
[01:27:59]  I have, Shannon, what time do you leave?
[01:28:02]  I think I'm going to leave 10 or 11.
[01:28:04]  Let's wrap this friggin' show up.
[01:28:06]  All right.
[01:28:07]  Love you, baby.
[01:28:08]  Love you, baby.
[01:28:09]  Oh, you see.
[01:28:13]  My patience is growing thin.
[01:28:20]  With the sympathetic world,