The Roseanne Barr Podcast - Absolutely Fabulous W/ Shannon Hughey #94
Aired: 2025-04-12
Duration: 01:24:00


=== Shannon Hi And Break Time (04:09) ===

[00:00:00]  Greetings Earthlings and Roseanarchists and animals who are smarter than any humans.
[00:00:08]  You know, today's just going to be a day where we just bullshit around and talk about what's going on in the world.
[00:00:16]  Try to have something light instead of all the darkness that I'm obsessed with.
[00:00:22]  Yeah, you need a break.
[00:00:23]  Yeah, I need a break and so does everybody else in the world today.
[00:00:27]  Plus, My genius girlfriend, Shannon's in town, and I always take a break from darkness when Shannon's around because she really knows how to be happy, which is really something genius.
[00:00:44]  Welcome to the Roseanne Barr Podcast.
[00:00:46]  Oh, you see, my patience is growing.
[00:00:52]  Well, here we are, back with Shannon.
[00:00:55]  Hi, Shannon.
[00:00:56]  Hi, honey.
[00:00:58]  Third time.
[00:00:59]  Third time.
[00:01:00]  Three is a term.
[00:01:01]  Yeah, three is a term.
[00:01:02]  Well, we certainly did have fun, didn't we?
[00:01:05]  We've been together for about a week.
[00:01:07]  Has it been a week?
[00:01:08]  Well, I got here on Friday, and it's Wednesday.
[00:01:12]  You have no concept of time.
[00:01:13]  No, I don't.
[00:01:14]  Well, that's because she's always on her computer looking at doom and gloom and doom scrolling, so that's why I'm glad you came.
[00:01:19]  Yeah, I'm not doom scrolling.
[00:01:22]  I'm trying to weigh what's happening.
[00:01:26]  And glean a way of looking at it to roll it back on itself with words.
[00:01:34]  I'm doing a lot of mental acuity work, you know?
[00:01:39]  I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.
[00:01:43]  It's up to me to save everything.
[00:01:45]  I mean, I really do feel that way sometimes.
[00:01:47]  Yeah, you did that podcast.
[00:01:48]  You talked about Candace Owens.
[00:01:50]  You got a little backlash for that.
[00:01:54]  I got backlash for that?
[00:01:56]  Just because I said she's a monster.
[00:01:58]  Yeah, and you apologized to her, which was really nice.
[00:02:01]  I did?
[00:02:02]  Yeah. You did.
[00:02:03]  You told me to say that you were sorry, and you only prayed against her, but you didn't really want to hit her.
[00:02:08]  Oh, yeah.
[00:02:09]  I did apologize for saying I was going to slap her like a bitch.
[00:02:12]  That is not true, because I never go outside.
[00:02:16]  But I would never take a violent act towards anyone.
[00:02:20]  Like when I said I'd slap Nancy Pelosi, that's just...
[00:02:24]  All allegory or what have you.
[00:02:26]  Or me.
[00:02:27]  I know.
[00:02:28]  I always say I'll slap people.
[00:02:30]  But I never will really slap people, so I did apologize for that, yeah.
[00:02:35]  But, you know, I just will pray that God opens her eyes and she sees what the hell kind of projection she's...
[00:02:45]  I don't know what the hell she's up to.
[00:02:47]  Hey, man, whatever it is, we're done talking.
[00:02:51]  We're going to take a break from the impending World War III, like you said this week.
[00:02:55]  Shannon's here.
[00:02:56]  Shannon doesn't even know nothing about the world at all.
[00:02:59]  I know.
[00:02:59]  I do, too.
[00:03:00]  Well, she knows what's important.
[00:03:02]  No. She keeps me informed of the real world.
[00:03:07]  I was gone for a month.
[00:03:08]  I went to Italy and then I did a job in Charleston, South Carolina.
[00:03:12]  And I didn't see the news for one month.
[00:03:16]  I didn't know anything was going on.
[00:03:18]  I just was living my life.
[00:03:20]  Did that feel any different to you than your regular life?
[00:03:25]  But I didn't have any drugs or booze with me.
[00:03:28]  My friends, no one drank except a bottle of wine at dinner.
[00:03:35]  That must have been hard.
[00:03:37]  No, it was okay.
[00:03:38]  It was good.
[00:03:42]  You know, I just took a break from everything.
[00:03:45]  The news, the drugs, the sex, the alcohol, all the stuff that matters.
[00:03:51]  That's the stuff most people do on vacation, but that's your normal life.
[00:03:55]  So when you go on vacation, you act like a normal person.
[00:03:56]  That's hilarious.
[00:03:58]  I didn't know what was going to happen because I was asked to go, all expenses paid, and I didn't know the two other people.
[00:04:07]  One was a lib.

=== Gucci Golden Sequin Thing (08:12) ===

[00:04:09]  And I got in a fight with her, I told you.
[00:04:13]  She started talking about Hamas and stuff and the Gaza Strip.
[00:04:18]  And I go, they should think out of the box and do what Trump said and make it all into a beachfront community and everyone can have a beautiful place to live and jobs.
[00:04:27]  And she goes, how dare you?
[00:04:31]  That's their homes and that's their land.
[00:04:35]  And I said, it's a pile of rubble.
[00:04:38]  And then the girl in the car, we're in like a cab, all together tight.
[00:04:43]  She's texting me, stop fighting with her.
[00:04:49]  That's awesome.
[00:04:50]  But you did go to the Vatican and you were impressed, right?
[00:04:54]  Because you had never been to Rome before?
[00:04:57]  No, I went with Marco when I was 33 and now I was 64. But those ladies were all really rich, right?
[00:05:11]  And didn't they go buy in Gucci and all that stuff?
[00:05:15]  Yeah, and they wanted to go to Gucci, and I'm like, can I just go to Zara and H&M?
[00:05:21]  And they're like, they're all like...
[00:05:24]  Standing in the corner with their arms folded.
[00:05:28]  Did you go with them into Gucci and look at all that stuff?
[00:05:31]  I went into Gucci and saw that they had a Gucci museum and they were shopping and I went to the Gucci museum.
[00:05:37]  You didn't even see what was for sale over there?
[00:05:40]  I can't afford Gucci.
[00:05:42]  Well, don't you want to look at it?
[00:05:44]  I can't afford it neither, but I like to look at it.
[00:05:47]  Plus, none of it fits me.
[00:05:49]  You have that Gucci golden sequin thing.
[00:05:52]  God, remember the day I saw that and I was like, I'm going to buy that.
[00:05:56]  I don't care what it costs.
[00:05:58]  It's like $3,000 or $4,000 or something.
[00:06:01]  It was $10,000.
[00:06:02]  Did you buy it?
[00:06:03]  Hells yeah.
[00:06:04]  I circled it about 50 times.
[00:06:07]  She wore it in the Tom McDonald video.
[00:06:10]  Oh, that was the Gucci outfit?
[00:06:12]  Yeah, I've had it for 15 years, I think.
[00:06:15]  I circled around that store three or four times and I go, you're doing it.
[00:06:20]  Sometimes I'll go, you're doing it.
[00:06:23]  You ain't got nothing.
[00:06:24]  You're doing it.
[00:06:26]  Dude, you earned everything.
[00:06:28]  Oh, but I just fear wealth.
[00:06:32]  Really? What do you mean?
[00:06:34]  I fear getting jewelry that ain't fake.
[00:06:38]  Still? You have some really nice jewelry.
[00:06:41]  It's all fake.
[00:06:42]  We went through it.
[00:06:44]  The insurance.
[00:06:45]  There were some really...
[00:06:46]  Expensive stuff.
[00:06:47]  What about your big diamond?
[00:06:49]  Is that still in the safety?
[00:06:51]  Well, yeah, but I got rid of most of them.
[00:06:53]  I mean, it's from a long time ago.
[00:06:54]  Yeah, it was like 40 years ago.
[00:06:56]  You don't wear diamonds anymore.
[00:06:58]  I sold all them when I figured out all diamonds are blood diamonds.
[00:07:03]  I went, okay, I'm divesting myself of the bullshit world now.
[00:07:08]  You know, they do lab-grown now that are conflict-free.
[00:07:11]  They're not conflict-free.
[00:07:13]  They're crushed up, sacrificed children.
[00:07:15]  Oh, a Roseanne Bar podcast.
[00:07:17]  It's true.
[00:07:18]  Ladies and gentlemen, that's what they do.
[00:07:20]  A lot of people are getting the lab grown.
[00:07:23]  They're crushed up.
[00:07:24]  Sacrified children.
[00:07:26]  I'm going to look this up, but in the meantime, tell people about Super Feels.
[00:07:29]  Let me get commercial.
[00:07:32]  I mean, this is good stuff, because we do drink a lot on this show.
[00:07:35]  This show is probably, like...
[00:07:38]  Where we do most of our drinking, right?
[00:07:40]  See my water.
[00:07:41]  So now we're trying to be healthier.
[00:07:43]  But anyway, I'll let you tell the people.
[00:07:44]  Okay, yeah.
[00:07:44]  Well, I don't drink that much.
[00:07:46]  You look cute.
[00:07:47]  Can I just tell you how cute you look?
[00:07:49]  I decide what the hell.
[00:07:51]  I'm going to pretend I'm 12 again.
[00:07:53]  I love this outfit.
[00:07:54]  I'm in my second childhood.
[00:07:56]  That's okay.
[00:07:57]  What with my dementia or whatever it's called.
[00:08:01]  Dementia. Onset dementia.
[00:08:03]  Listen, sometimes I need to wind down after a long day.
[00:08:07]  And I look forward to super feels.
[00:08:10]  Listen, sometimes I need to wind down after a long day and I keep saying the same thing.
[00:08:16]  But I look forward to a glass of wine or a joint with friends.
[00:08:22]  But lately I've been trying to cut back on the booze.
[00:08:25]  I'm always getting in trouble at Mar-a-Lago for drunkenly...
[00:08:32]  Wow. Wow.
[00:08:48]  Wow.
[00:08:58]  Kraytom is in the same plant family as coffee and has been used traditionally in Thailand for centuries to help soothe the body and support mood.
[00:09:09]  And kava delivers deep relaxation without making you feel sleepy.
[00:09:14]  It's perfect.
[00:09:15]  It really works.
[00:09:16]  For that stress-free...
[00:09:17]  Joyful vibe.
[00:09:19]  Remember when Phyllis Diller drank it in Hawaii?
[00:09:21]  Was that what that was?
[00:09:23]  It just helps you feel good and fun.
[00:09:26]  My friends over at SuperFeels are offering you 20% off chill vibes when you use code ROSANNE at checkout.
[00:09:34]  To take advantage, go to GetSuperFeels.com for 20% off.
[00:09:39]  That's GetSuperFeels.com and use code ROSANNE.
[00:09:43]  For 20% off.
[00:09:46]  CB. No, that's the next ad.
[00:09:48]  Oh. Pause it.
[00:09:49]  Leave that.
[00:09:50]  No, Phyllis Steeler did it because they also have another one that's like more for like, it's got like lion's mane in it and mushroom.
[00:09:56]  It sharpens you.
[00:09:56]  Oh, that's cool.
[00:09:58]  We ate lion's mane mushrooms this week.
[00:10:00]  This place, they have two.
[00:10:01]  They were terrible, by the way.
[00:10:03]  You didn't cook them good.
[00:10:05]  I knew I should have cooked them.
[00:10:07]  I knew I should have.
[00:10:09]  I told you it's butter, butter, butter.
[00:10:12]  I did a ton of butter.
[00:10:14]  Don't move around the mic.
[00:10:15]  You're talking into it.
[00:10:16]  It's a podcast.
[00:10:17]  I know.
[00:10:17]  Sorry. The word soggy.
[00:10:21]  No, honey.
[00:10:22]  If it's in butter, you've got to cook them until they're crisp.
[00:10:27]  Cook it until it's crisp.
[00:10:28]  That was soggy.
[00:10:29]  It was like eating a mop.
[00:10:33]  It was horrible, ma'am.
[00:10:34]  But superfoods, like the Lion's Man stuff is actually really good for your mind, so I don't think people eat it for flavor, do they?
[00:10:40]  I made it so good, didn't I, Shannon?
[00:10:42]  Oh, okay.
[00:10:43]  Mine was like a steak.
[00:10:44]  Yeah, it was.
[00:10:45]  Did you go to Central Market to get the mushrooms?
[00:10:47]  Oh, yes, Shannon loves it.
[00:10:50]  Did you see the mushroom section where they grow?
[00:10:53]  I showed her everything that there was there.
[00:10:55]  It's the best store in the world.
[00:10:57]  Best store, that's why.
[00:10:58]  It's like an air wine.
[00:10:59]  It's like an Erewhon if it were an actual grocery store and not just like...
[00:11:04]  Erewhon? I don't know how to describe Erewhon.
[00:11:05]  Erewhon's like all those...
[00:11:06]  Erewhon is a meat market for vegetarians.
[00:11:10]  Yeah, that's a good line.
[00:11:12]  But this here central market is a dream come true for the aged as they're crawling through every aisle looking for a bargain.
[00:11:23]  It's just wonderful.
[00:11:24]  Here's what I saw is we spent $400.
[00:11:28]  God, the cookie aisle.
[00:11:28]  Their bakery aisle.
[00:11:30]  And I didn't allow myself to get anything sweet.
[00:11:34]  That's true.
[00:11:35]  But we spent $400 on Sunday.
[00:11:40]  And on Tuesday, I'm like, there's nothing to eat.
[00:11:44]  Yeah. But we did have all kinds of fresh.
[00:11:49]  Delicious. Well, you're French.
[00:11:52]  Boozy wine.
[00:11:54]  Oh yeah, my wine was off the charts.
[00:11:56]  The food was probably $20.
[00:11:59]  No, it was good though.
[00:12:00]  No, it's the best grocery store I've ever seen.
[00:12:01]  No, it is.
[00:12:02]  It's beautiful.
[00:12:03]  Hands down.
[00:12:03]  Because it's actually a grocery store.
[00:12:04]  See, I always get on that Ben E. White Highway and go around in a loop for 45 minutes.
[00:12:11]  Why don't you use...
[00:12:12]  Why do I always...
[00:12:13]  I do.
[00:12:14]  I use that fucking...
[00:12:15]  I use that fucking Waze and that shit.
[00:12:18]  Stop using Waze.
[00:12:19]  I don't know.
[00:12:20]  It's in the car.

=== Snapped Fitting Room Pattern (11:42) ===

[00:12:21]  She has it in her phone.
[00:12:22]  And it doesn't go right.
[00:12:23]  It doesn't tell me to go the right way.
[00:12:25]  And it made me go in a circle over and over and over.
[00:12:28]  No, and she was freaking out.
[00:12:30]  Yeah, were you screaming at Shannon?
[00:12:31]  I do that too.
[00:12:32]  No, she wasn't.
[00:12:32]  I wasn't screaming at Shannon.
[00:12:34]  I haven't snapped since.
[00:12:35]  Remember that one time?
[00:12:37]  I haven't snapped for years, have I, girl?
[00:12:39]  Did you tell him about that?
[00:12:40]  She did, but she didn't tell the podcast, I don't think.
[00:12:42]  You should tell your audience.
[00:12:43]  No, she hadn't until when I snapped.
[00:12:45]  Because you know I haven't snapped in so long.
[00:12:48]  You've been great.
[00:12:49]  No, you have been so...
[00:12:51]  Okay, so I met you in...
[00:12:53]  The Thorazine shots.
[00:12:54]  Huh? Nothing.
[00:12:55]  I met you in 1997, and...
[00:12:59]  I snapped all the time back then, didn't I?
[00:13:01]  On the talk show, yeah.
[00:13:04]  Everyone would be like, Shannon, you've got to go in and calm her down.
[00:13:08]  That's what I do now.
[00:13:10]  And so I kind of know to let her vent, to let her scream and get all of her angry shit out.
[00:13:19]  And then I go, okay, I understand.
[00:13:23]  So we're in a room, a fitting room.
[00:13:28]  And we had spent like two hours going through the whole Neiman Marcus.
[00:13:33]  Trying to find a fucking large...
[00:13:35]  This was for an event, right?
[00:13:37]  No, no.
[00:13:38]  We were just shopping at Neiman Marcus.
[00:13:41]  And there was a sale rack and she got all kinds of cute stuff in her sizes.
[00:13:46]  And so we put...
[00:13:48]  And I kept giving them to the sales girl.
[00:13:50]  And so then we go into the room, the fitting room.
[00:13:55]  She was...
[00:13:55]  Beyond a genius.
[00:13:58]  And the girl go, I go, where's all this stuff?
[00:14:03]  And she goes, oh, I thought you already tried it on.
[00:14:06]  And I go.
[00:14:07]  No, but to say how many times she came to get the bundles.
[00:14:12]  And I said, we're still looking.
[00:14:15]  Yeah, she did do that.
[00:14:16]  I go, we're still looking, but we're coming.
[00:14:19]  We're coming.
[00:14:20]  We'll be there in a few.
[00:14:21]  And just in your defense, there were no clothes on the floor.
[00:14:26]  There was nothing like you had tried anything on.
[00:14:28]  We had hung stuff up.
[00:14:30]  And so then the girl comes in the room and she's like, where the fuck's all my stuff?
[00:14:37]  She'd put it all back?
[00:14:39]  She had put...
[00:14:40]  Three quarters of it back.
[00:14:42]  Oh my god.
[00:14:43]  And she goes, I've just spent like two hours looking for this whole floor for everything.
[00:14:49]  And you put it.
[00:14:49]  And she goes, oh my god, I'm so sorry.
[00:14:51]  She goes, what the fuck?
[00:14:53]  Like, I don't want you as my sales girl.
[00:14:58]  You gotta get out of here.
[00:15:00]  And she was freaking out.
[00:15:01]  I can't remember.
[00:15:02]  Didn't she say her mom died or something?
[00:15:04]  No excuse.
[00:15:04]  That was somebody else.
[00:15:06]  Didn't she say I'm sorry with all the fires?
[00:15:09]  Yes. Yes, it was in LA.
[00:15:12]  I was so pissed.
[00:15:13]  She goes, my sister lost her house.
[00:15:16]  Yes, that's right.
[00:15:17]  That was very good.
[00:15:19]  You don't have dementia.
[00:15:22]  Anyway, she goes, I'm sorry.
[00:15:24]  I'm just not paying attention because I'm calling my sister because she's just lost her house.
[00:15:31]  And she goes, I don't give a fuck.
[00:15:33]  And she said, she looked at my face.
[00:15:37]  No, I said, I don't give a fuck.
[00:15:40]  My sister lost her house too, but she still has to work!
[00:15:46]  Oh my god, that's horrible.
[00:15:48]  This is during the fires, right?
[00:15:50]  They were still raging outside.
[00:15:51]  But we all still have to work!
[00:15:54]  And we're like in close proximity.
[00:15:56]  And then I looked at Shannon, and she had her face like she used to have.
[00:16:01]  Horrified? No, like...
[00:16:03]  Like that.
[00:16:05]  She was like, okay, honey.
[00:16:09]  So then I go, you better get out of here to the chick.
[00:16:14]  You know, I'm like, we'll get, you know.
[00:16:17]  She goes, I want a new salesperson!
[00:16:19]  I'm not using you!
[00:16:21]  And I was just like, it's okay, honey.
[00:16:23]  And then she vented.
[00:16:25]  She did her thing.
[00:16:26]  And I'm like, I totally understand.
[00:16:28]  Yes, we had cultivated two hours of clothing.
[00:16:35]  And then we got a new girl, and then she calmed down, and she goes, oh, I feel bad.
[00:16:41]  Like, I haven't done that in a long time.
[00:16:44]  Yeah, I haven't seen it in years.
[00:16:46]  Were you stressed out that week?
[00:16:47]  It's been years.
[00:16:47]  I just fucking snapped.
[00:16:49]  Wait, didn't you forget to take your pills?
[00:16:52]  Oh, yeah, I hadn't.
[00:16:53]  Oh, yeah, that's right.
[00:16:54]  Disclaimer. Yeah, no, I think I'm the one that asked.
[00:16:57]  Yeah, I missed my meds.
[00:16:58]  Yeah, I remember asking, because you do get a little crazy.
[00:17:00]  Every time I snapped, it's because I didn't take my pills.
[00:17:03]  Isn't it weird?
[00:17:05]  There's science to it.
[00:17:06]  Did you take your pills?
[00:17:08]  No, I know.
[00:17:09]  I have it on my phone.
[00:17:11]  Time for your medications.
[00:17:13]  Medication time.
[00:17:14]  Like in Cuckoo's Nest.
[00:17:16]  No, I think I was the one that asked you that.
[00:17:17]  Because when everybody gets off their meds, especially if you go cold turkey, that's what all the school shootings are.
[00:17:23]  You do go nuts.
[00:17:24]  If you ever try and adjust your meds, you have to do it with a medical professional.
[00:17:28]  You can't just skip a pill.
[00:17:30]  Wait, what about the ketamine?
[00:17:33]  Should we talk about that?
[00:17:35]  Yeah, we've done a whole episode on it a few times.
[00:17:37]  She did a little tune-up.
[00:17:38]  How did that go?
[00:17:38]  You did a tune-up last week?
[00:17:40]  That's why you were in Austin.
[00:17:41]  It was the craziest.
[00:17:44]  You know how I don't live on the planet of Earthlings?
[00:17:48]  Yes. I live on another.
[00:17:51]  Nothing that happens to me happens to anybody else.
[00:17:55]  And I just have tried to ignore it forever.
[00:17:59]  Then sometimes it gets to be too heavy and I have to deal with it.
[00:18:04]  So it was, in the ketamine treatment, I saw this one very intricate pattern over and over and over.
[00:18:12]  Because, you know, it's like it's knitting your brain back together of all the severed loose parts.
[00:18:19]  Wow. Is it a visual pattern you're saying?
[00:18:22]  Yeah. Okay.
[00:18:24]  Great analogy.
[00:18:25]  So then I go from there to the rental house.
[00:18:29]  Yeah. It was in the middle of a train.
[00:18:32]  I was in the yard, but that was okay.
[00:18:35]  They swore to us it was quiet.
[00:18:37]  Well, the house is quiet.
[00:18:38]  But anyway, so I walk in.
[00:18:40]  I walk in.
[00:18:42]  You leave.
[00:18:43]  Because I had to go immediately lay down because I get fatigued from that treatment.
[00:18:47]  Everybody does it, doesn't it?
[00:18:48]  You usually have to sleep the first day.
[00:18:50]  So when I woke up four hours later, I proceed to go out to get something to eat.
[00:18:58]  And by God, I swear, hanging on the wall by the kitchen is a painting that is exactly the pattern.
[00:19:08]  I haven't heard any of this.
[00:19:10]  That's amazing.
[00:19:10]  Wow, I haven't either.
[00:19:11]  What was the pattern?
[00:19:12]  It was just a continuing black and white square thing.
[00:19:17]  Okay. But that's crazy.
[00:19:19]  That's a sign.
[00:19:21]  What do you mean?
[00:19:22]  She saw the pattern that she saw.
[00:19:24]  No, I know, but continuing square pattern.
[00:19:26]  She'll show us later.
[00:19:27]  It's probably like an Escher painting or something.
[00:19:29]  Yeah, kind of like that.
[00:19:31]  So when you saw it, did it trigger something post-cadamina?
[00:19:34]  You just were like, wow, that's cool.
[00:19:36]  It was like, I feel, and with meditation too, that the more centered you become, the more, and I gave this in my speech on Purim, the more you see that.
[00:19:53]  You're able to connect all the synchronicities and the coincidences so that you begin to see they're not coincidences.
[00:20:02]  And the synchronicities are the way to see how God moves in the world.
[00:20:08]  And he's like knitting all the ends together right now.
[00:20:12]  And so it was like all that.
[00:20:14]  And then I'm always on that planet trying to deal with humans.
[00:20:19]  And they're like...
[00:20:20]  Would you like fries with that?
[00:20:23]  Fries with your Coke?
[00:20:24]  Or they put your clothes back?
[00:20:26]  What? Or they put your clothes back in the dressing room when you have to scream at them?
[00:20:30]  I'm like, I hadn't been out because everything was on fire.
[00:20:34]  Yeah. Remember?
[00:20:35]  And I went to the valley because I was watching everything burn.
[00:20:39]  And then the valley fire started the day.
[00:20:41]  The minute I got away, it started a half a mile from that house.
[00:20:45]  But the Airbnb...
[00:20:47]  So we put...
[00:20:49]  My mom and an Airbnb to recover because the ketamine treatment is an hour from here.
[00:20:53]  Right. We used to drive her all the way home.
[00:20:55]  She'd have to sit in the port.
[00:20:56]  They had to sit in the car for an hour winding before she got to bed.
[00:21:00]  She'd sleep, but I just felt bad.
[00:21:01]  So we put her in.
[00:21:02]  Yeah, that was good.
[00:21:03]  So I guess my question is, I've never done ketamine.
[00:21:08]  So obviously you trip when you're doing it.
[00:21:10]  Like you're tripping.
[00:21:11]  I filmed you.
[00:21:12]  Remember the fingers?
[00:21:13]  But when I pick you up, every time I've ever picked you up, you're actually okay.
[00:21:16]  You're a little wobbly.
[00:21:19]  Woozy. Yeah, I just feel tired.
[00:21:20]  Yeah, woozy.
[00:21:21]  But when you go home and you wake up four hours later and you see a pattern, are you remembering the trip from ketamine or do you start tripping again is my question.
[00:21:30]  No, it just blew my mind that it was there.
[00:21:33]  So you just recalled the trip and you're like, whoa.
[00:21:36]  Yeah, because it was so fresh in my mind.
[00:21:38]  Okay, that's cool.
[00:21:39]  That's really cool.
[00:21:41]  I don't know if it's cool as much as it's weird.
[00:21:46]  The weird word.
[00:21:49]  You know how they say wayward?
[00:21:51]  But weird word.
[00:21:53]  The weirdness of things always in my life.
[00:21:56]  I mean, I think God's really funny.
[00:21:59]  It's kind of a laugh there between me and God or something.
[00:22:03]  I've always felt coincidences like that were a nod from God.
[00:22:07]  But you know what, you guys?
[00:22:08]  There are no coincidences.
[00:22:10]  There are only synchronicities.
[00:22:12]  You know, my best friend is my granddaughter, and the other day I was getting her out of her car seat, and the wind blew so hard it knocked my shoulder into the side of the car, and it hurt like hell.
[00:22:25]  I try to avoid pain pills because then I will never leave my room ever again and I will go the way of Elvis right on the toilet there.
[00:22:35]  That's why CBD is the best way to get relief from pain.
[00:22:39]  And it is not just for pain.
[00:22:42]  It is a true miracle product.
[00:22:44]  It's not just for pain.
[00:22:46]  CBD distillery offers targeted formulations for just about everything.
[00:22:51]  Sleep, stress, mood, focus.
[00:22:55]  Pain after exercise.
[00:22:56]  They even have it for your pets.
[00:22:59]  And it's all made with the highest quality clean ingredients.
[00:23:02]  No fillers, just premium CBD.
[00:23:06]  The soothing balm for relief is my favorite and it smells really good.
[00:23:10]  And with over 2 million satisfied customers and 100% money back guarantee, CBDistillery is the source you can trust.
[00:23:18]  If you're struggling with sleep stress, Or other health concerns and haven't found relief?
[00:23:23]  Make the change like millions are to CBD from CBDistillery.
[00:23:28]  And for a limited time, you can save 25% off your entire purchase.
[00:23:32]  Visit CBDistillery and use the promo code RB.
[00:23:39]  That's CBDistillery.com, promo code RB.
[00:23:44]  CBDistillery.com.
[00:23:46]  Specific product availability.
[00:23:49]  Depends on individual state regulations.
[00:23:53]  That makes sense.
[00:23:54]  Not every state is the same.
[00:23:55]  Not every state is cool.
[00:23:57]  We broke a big story last week.
[00:23:59]  I was going to say with Patrick Byrne that China...
[00:24:01]  I believed every word he said.
[00:24:03]  We haven't got to follow up on this.

=== Loose Ends Knit Heart (09:53) ===

[00:24:04]  Did you watch the episode?
[00:24:05]  Yeah, I did.
[00:24:06]  Chinese military intelligence in Serbia hacked...
[00:24:13]  Our machines.
[00:24:15]  In 2020.
[00:24:15]  And they've done it for 25 plus years to destroy the West from the inside.
[00:24:19]  In 75 countries.
[00:24:22]  I totally believe it.
[00:24:24]  Them Chinese are smart.
[00:24:26]  I guess eating fucking snake meat and kitty cats and dogs and shit.
[00:24:32]  I've seen all them videos.
[00:24:33]  I guess it makes you smart or something.
[00:24:35]  Can I tell you the first meal when I got there?
[00:24:40]  What? You know, they had one of those Lazy Susan things going around the table, and there was like 10 of us at a table.
[00:24:47]  And the first thing I saw was deep-fried baby birds with their wings.
[00:24:52]  Oh, the French do that, though.
[00:24:56]  They're horrible.
[00:24:56]  The French do it, too, though.
[00:24:58]  And then they grabbed an eel out of the fucking aquarium thing and chopped it all up and fried it.
[00:25:04]  And it was alive?
[00:25:06]  Oh, they fried it?
[00:25:08]  No. I like American Chinese food.
[00:25:13]  I was like, more rice and plum wine.
[00:25:16]  That's all I lived on.
[00:25:18]  You were there for how long?
[00:25:20]  Six months?
[00:25:21]  Three months.
[00:25:21]  Oh, three months.
[00:25:22]  And that's when Tony broke up with me.
[00:25:24]  No, you got married on the talk show.
[00:25:27]  You were married?
[00:25:28]  I didn't know this.
[00:25:29]  She got married on the talk show to a Janis Joplin Chandler married her and her boyfriend.
[00:25:34]  In Hawaii.
[00:25:34]  Remember? In Hawaii.
[00:25:36]  And you said Johnny was jealous of him.
[00:25:39]  He was a very talented musician.
[00:25:41]  I loved him, actually.
[00:25:41]  Well, Johnny don't like nobody.
[00:25:43]  Will Johnny ever see this?
[00:25:45]  Yes, he watches the movie.
[00:25:46]  Yeah, he'll see it.
[00:25:46]  Okay, cut this out.
[00:25:47]  No, Johnny's...
[00:25:48]  We've said good invention.
[00:25:50]  I love Johnny.
[00:25:51]  Johnny's great.
[00:25:52]  Johnny, with everything aside...
[00:25:54]  He's a cancer.
[00:25:55]  He's a big boy.
[00:25:56]  He can take it.
[00:25:58]  Seriously? 100%.
[00:26:00]  All right.
[00:26:00]  So anyways, you go marry Tony over in Hawaii, and you're the girl that married you.
[00:26:09]  The girl that married you was the Janis Joplin channeler that was on the talk show, right?
[00:26:15]  Yes. What was her name?
[00:26:18]  Linda. Linda, that's right.
[00:26:21]  Did you believe she was really channeling Janis Joplin?
[00:26:24]  I did.
[00:26:26]  And remember when me, you, and Doug did...
[00:26:29]  I don't remember who it was, but she said you and I were siblings.
[00:26:37]  And we were medicine women by a creek, and I was your older sister taking care of you.
[00:26:43]  Do you remember that?
[00:26:44]  No, not really.
[00:26:49]  In our past life or something?
[00:26:51]  Doug Rukavina was there.
[00:26:53]  What was Doug doing?
[00:26:54]  We loved Doug.
[00:26:54]  And she told him he was Michael the angel.
[00:27:00]  Oh, she did?
[00:27:01]  He was super sweet.
[00:27:03]  He had no bad intentions.
[00:27:05]  You said you're actually the angel or you're...
[00:27:08]  It was like you're Michael the angel or, you know, Michael.
[00:27:14]  I love Doug, remember?
[00:27:16]  I think he has...
[00:27:17]  A couple of twin daughters or something.
[00:27:19]  He married a girl.
[00:27:21]  He has a weird family too.
[00:27:24]  But he was my favorite assistant ever.
[00:27:26]  Because remember he could turn his legs backwards from the knee down and walk like that?
[00:27:32]  No, I don't remember that.
[00:27:35]  And he could turn his feet all the way around and then go walk like five or six steps with his feet going backwards.
[00:27:43]  I wonder if that's good and bad.
[00:27:46]  No. Like a gymnast.
[00:27:50]  Wait, sorry, we're getting off track.
[00:27:54]  The ketamine thing, I never got to finish this yet.
[00:27:56]  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:27:57]  The patterns, I want to hear more about this because it's actually pretty deep.
[00:28:01]  You're talking about the interconnectedness of God.
[00:28:02]  I thought that was a cool thing.
[00:28:04]  Knitting the loose ends.
[00:28:05]  Yeah, you keep saying knitting.
[00:28:07]  The loose ends together.
[00:28:09]  I think it's interesting.
[00:28:10]  If you want to talk about it more, I'd like to hear more about it.
[00:28:13]  It helps.
[00:28:13]  Well, that's just what God's doing right now in the world.
[00:28:16]  I think so, too.
[00:28:17]  And it's helping reduce your anxiety.
[00:28:21]  Yeah, it has helped reduce my...
[00:28:23]  Well, it's not really my anxiety.
[00:28:25]  My anxiety is the only thing that keeps me going.
[00:28:31]  And for that to be reduced would not be good.
[00:28:34]  You're an anxiety whore.
[00:28:36]  Yeah, it keeps me going, you know.
[00:28:38]  It's your fuel.
[00:28:40]  Well, it keeps me going because...
[00:28:42]  It's kind of like if I don't have anxiety to continue, like in cartoons, where the characters, they're trying to run away, and at first their leg spins in a circle and they go...
[00:28:54]  If I don't keep on doing that, I will go down in the quicksand of the dark.
[00:29:02]  The dark fucking depression and shit.
[00:29:05]  The deep fucking depression of the reality.
[00:29:09]  Have you considered that that's not the best...
[00:29:12]  Way to live.
[00:29:14]  Have you ever considered an alternative?
[00:29:17]  There is an alternative.
[00:29:18]  The dark horror of the reality.
[00:29:22]  You mean there's no way to just be at peace in the moment without either anxiety or depth of horror?
[00:29:28]  Only when she's fucked up.
[00:29:31]  I mean, I can't find it.
[00:29:34]  Have you ever tried?
[00:29:36]  I have to be, when I'm in anxiety, what are you doing?
[00:29:40]  She's fixing her hair.
[00:29:41]  She can't help it.
[00:29:42]  Well, she is my hair and makeup artist.
[00:29:44]  But you're a guest now.
[00:29:47]  Yeah, you're off the clock.
[00:29:49]  She's never off the clock.
[00:29:51]  No, I wanted to fix her hair.
[00:29:52]  One time we were in the bathroom because I was going to do an interview.
[00:29:56]  Howard Stern.
[00:29:57]  No, it wasn't Howard Stern.
[00:30:00]  Because you were doing my makeup and bothering me and chattering and doing...
[00:30:05]  Slamming my face and my lips and everything.
[00:30:09]  Incessant chattering.
[00:30:11]  And then a guy comes in and he goes, ladies, this is audio.
[00:30:17]  Wow. Same thing.
[00:30:20]  It was audio.
[00:30:22]  And I'm like, fucking Shannon!
[00:30:25]  This is on the fucking radio!
[00:30:28]  I want you to look beautiful like you, you know, to your full potential.
[00:30:33]  But I'm just saying, have you ever considered that instead of the dusting up, chaotic, anxious, riddled way that you consider your default?
[00:30:44]  Oh, but see, I'm only like that when I'm around people.
[00:30:48]  What happens when you're alone?
[00:30:50]  You talk to yourself.
[00:30:51]  Peace. I understand that.
[00:30:52]  Praying, peace, lovely, sleeping.
[00:30:56]  Is that true, though?
[00:30:57]  Because there's no way to know.
[00:30:58]  Huh? Are you sure you're nicer?
[00:31:00]  I mean, you're more...
[00:31:03]  I am always studying and reading.
[00:31:08]  Like today when we drove home it was like an hour.
[00:31:12]  And we didn't really talk.
[00:31:14]  She likes to be alone with her morbid thoughts.
[00:31:18]  That's what I'm asking.
[00:31:19]  Is it really peaceful when you're alone or is it just like you're just stressed out about whatever you're stressed out but no one's talking to you?
[00:31:24]  When I'm alone I'm all talking to God.
[00:31:28]  Okay. 100%.
[00:31:29]  That's good.
[00:31:32]  That's why she likes to be a little.
[00:31:33]  I'm like, I told you this was going to happen if you didn't listen to me.
[00:31:38]  I got it.
[00:31:38]  So when people are around, you can't talk to God.
[00:31:41]  Yeah, they're interrupting the flow.
[00:31:43]  I understand that.
[00:31:44]  Okay. And that's when I'm getting all anxious because I'm like, wait, he's not able to see things correctly without my constant.
[00:31:51]  That's what I was going to ask next.
[00:31:53]  You feel you have to control God.
[00:31:55]  Not control, advise.
[00:31:56]  You're like God's wife.
[00:31:58]  I am God's wife.
[00:32:00]  My sister says that.
[00:32:02]  My sister said that a long time ago.
[00:32:04]  And I guess I do feel that way.
[00:32:06]  I think every woman feels they have to nag a man.
[00:32:09]  And I love that you're so high up that you feel like you have to nag God.
[00:32:14]  I don't nag him.
[00:32:16]  What do you call it?
[00:32:16]  I used to have material about it.
[00:32:20]  I said this at a Norman Lear.
[00:32:22]  When he was faking like he cared about America, because he's a Democrat.
[00:32:27]  And I was like, yeah, I had a whole routine about God's wife.
[00:32:32]  Because, you know, it is in deep Torah about that.
[00:32:35]  And I said, she'd go, I said, we've really been brainwashed to assume that God is a single parent.
[00:32:46]  I had that material.
[00:32:47]  And I go, you know, but this is the time.
[00:32:51]  Where God's wife is like, hey, I let you take it for a long, but now I've got to step in.
[00:32:58]  Because look at them.
[00:33:00]  Nothing you're doing is helping.
[00:33:03]  They're fucking killing each other.
[00:33:06]  You are going to do it my way now.
[00:33:10]  Like every mom has to step into every dad.
[00:33:13]  No, I agree.
[00:33:14]  This is actually an archetype that works.
[00:33:15]  And that is what it says is going to happen.
[00:33:17]  Wow. The middle way, which is what Torah always talks about, not to go to either extreme, right or left, any extreme.
[00:33:28]  Stay in the middle.
[00:33:29]  The middle is the path of the mother.
[00:33:33]  And to ferret, which is the navel, which is mercy, all these things.
[00:33:39]  And that's what's coming back now.
[00:33:42]  That's why I say knitting the loose ends together.
[00:33:45]  Because it's the heart of...
[00:33:49]  You know, the heart of the cosmos is the heartbeat of the womb.
[00:33:54]  I do feel God could use a wife.

=== Collecting Hitler Memorabilia (04:32) ===

[00:33:57]  Well, here I am.
[00:33:59]  You know, I'm talking to him all the time, like, you know, here's what you got.
[00:34:03]  You must do, you know, and I say, you know, it's a tragedy that the only people allowed down here to talk about.
[00:34:13]  You are a bunch of idiot men that can't keep it in their pants for two fucking seconds.
[00:34:18]  Yeah, they're always like molesting somebody.
[00:34:19]  And I'm like, and how come, you know, I'm talking and they're like, she's gross.
[00:34:25]  We can't listen to nothing.
[00:34:26]  She says, although everything she says does happen and occurs exactly as she says it does, she's fat.
[00:34:33]  She has a large upper thigh.
[00:34:39]  It's just too much for me.
[00:34:41]  But, you know, I keep on talking.
[00:34:43]  And I'm like, I'm going to hit that sweet spot, whether it's...
[00:34:48]  I want it to be while I'm alive, because I'm that bitter.
[00:34:52]  But, you know, God will say, you know, it's going to be a long time after you're gone.
[00:34:56]  I'm like, yeah, you would do that.
[00:35:00]  That's not fun.
[00:35:01]  You want it to happen when you're alive, for sure.
[00:35:03]  But then I interviewed Frank Zappa when he was dying, and I sort of changed then because I said...
[00:35:14]  Asked him, how do you want to be remembered?
[00:35:15]  Because he overthrew communism.
[00:35:18]  His music overthrew communism.
[00:35:20]  Can I interject?
[00:35:21]  No. No, I want to hear this.
[00:35:22]  And I said, you've done so many heroic and unspoken things because nobody gets it because they're a fucking bunch of dunces.
[00:35:35]  But I get it.
[00:35:36]  And how do you want to be remembered?
[00:35:38]  And he said, I don't.
[00:35:41]  Wow. I don't give a fuck.
[00:35:43]  I'll be good.
[00:35:44]  These people are too fucking stupid to get it anyway.
[00:35:48]  But he goes, you know what does matter?
[00:35:52]  I live to see the birth and the death of rock and roll.
[00:35:57]  And that's all that matters to me.
[00:36:00]  Was he happy about the death of rock and roll?
[00:36:03]  He just was happy that he lived to see the birth and the death of it.
[00:36:09]  Where it all just fucking went corporate.
[00:36:11]  Yeah, no.
[00:36:11]  He was a thousand percent right.
[00:36:13]  I don't know if that's profound.
[00:36:16]  It is really profound.
[00:36:18]  I love that.
[00:36:19]  And he was smoking, too.
[00:36:20]  And I go, hey, Frank, do you ever think to stop smoking since you got cancer and you're dying of it and everything?
[00:36:26]  Why stop now?
[00:36:28]  This is the time to smoke.
[00:36:29]  That's how I always think.
[00:36:30]  That's kind of exactly what he said.
[00:36:32]  Yeah, he's right.
[00:36:33]  You have cancer.
[00:36:34]  She took me to Gail Zappa's.
[00:36:37]  Frank's house.
[00:36:38]  And we went into his studio, which was mind-blowing.
[00:36:44]  He was obsessed with Hitler.
[00:36:45]  There was Hitler shit everywhere.
[00:36:50]  Nazi shit everywhere he goes.
[00:36:52]  Really? I don't remember that.
[00:36:54]  I must have blanked that out.
[00:36:56]  I don't remember that.
[00:36:56]  I probably dissociated that the fuck away.
[00:36:58]  I don't remember that.
[00:36:59]  I don't remember no Hitler.
[00:37:00]  Even if he did, it would have been...
[00:37:02]  He sent me to Gale Zappa's house.
[00:37:04]  They had a Hitler ship.
[00:37:04]  No, Gale had Hitler stuff.
[00:37:06]  No, I'm kidding.
[00:37:06]  No. It was his studio with gold records and all his albums.
[00:37:10]  No, a lot of people collect Nazi paraphernalia.
[00:37:12]  It doesn't mean they're...
[00:37:13]  Paraphernalia? Is that the word for it?
[00:37:16]  No, I think it is called Nazi paraphernalia.
[00:37:18]  I really do.
[00:37:19]  There's people that collect it all the time.
[00:37:20]  I would collect it.
[00:37:22]  I'd collect it too.
[00:37:24]  I'd like to collect Hitler's balls.
[00:37:27]  And hang him right on my fucking...
[00:37:28]  Wait a minute.
[00:37:29]  Did you guys see the CIA came out with the fucking...
[00:37:32]  They said he got away.
[00:37:33]  To Argentina.
[00:37:35]  We always knew it.
[00:37:35]  Did you not know this?
[00:37:36]  No, I haven't heard it.
[00:37:37]  No, it's one of the...
[00:37:39]  He died in the 60s.
[00:37:41]  There's so much shit happening in this country.
[00:37:42]  After he went over there to Palestine with Arafat and they blew each other.
[00:37:46]  Hitler? Did you add that or did that happen?
[00:37:49]  That definitely happened.
[00:37:50]  Hitler was fine.
[00:37:52]  What about Ava Braun?
[00:37:54]  Was she just a beard?
[00:37:55]  No, no.
[00:37:56]  They got out.
[00:37:57]  They got to Argentina.
[00:37:58]  Because they never really found their bodies.
[00:38:01]  No, they just had to tell us a story.
[00:38:04]  Right. He probably lived in New Jersey.
[00:38:06]  He loved German shepherds.
[00:38:09]  He wasn't all bad.
[00:38:11]  I remember my one friend, he wasn't my friend, but it was a comic, and I can't remember his name.
[00:38:16]  He goes, hey, Hitler.
[00:38:20]  What an asshole he turned out to be.
[00:38:22]  I think that was Johnny, wasn't it?
[00:38:24]  Huh? I think that was Johnny.
[00:38:26]  No, it was.
[00:38:27]  I can't remember his name.
[00:38:28]  Do you know my favorite joke about the Nazis?

=== Sexy After 60 (03:21) ===

[00:38:30]  What? It was Emo Phillips.
[00:38:31]  Remember him?
[00:38:32]  Yes. I do remember him.
[00:38:33]  He said he was hanging out in New York.
[00:38:35]  No, was Emo Phillips with a long hair and he was kind of weird?
[00:38:38]  He was talking about how his friend came to visit him in New York from Germany in the 80s and they were at a bagel shop.
[00:38:44]  And his German buddy's like, man, we cannot get a good bagel in Germany.
[00:38:49]  These are amazing here in New York.
[00:38:51]  And Emo goes, whose fault is that?
[00:38:53]  It's my favorite joke.
[00:38:54]  I love that joke.
[00:38:55]  He was good.
[00:38:56]  He died.
[00:38:58]  No, Judy died.
[00:38:59]  Wait, Judy?
[00:39:00]  They were married?
[00:39:02]  Is Emo Phillips still alive?
[00:39:03]  Judy died.
[00:39:04]  We have one more ad if you want to knock it out and then we can really just hit the zone.
[00:39:07]  We're going to talk about sexy after 60. Oh yeah, we want to talk about sexuality in your 70s.
[00:39:15]  This is the perfect ad for this.
[00:39:17]  Oh good, because you know what?
[00:39:19]  Shanna's talking me into going on the coffee and the hormones and the suppositories and the extracts or whatever it is.
[00:39:27]  Well try this first.
[00:39:28]  This might be better than injecting hormones in your bubble.
[00:39:31]  Have a sex drive again?
[00:39:33]  I certainly hope not.
[00:39:34]  I hope you do.
[00:39:35]  Come on.
[00:39:36]  Let me tell you something.
[00:39:38]  Getting older is inevitable, if you're lucky.
[00:39:40]  And if there's one thing I'm not going to do, it's sit around drinking garbage coffee while my cells age faster than our national debt.
[00:39:50]  That's why I started drinking 1775's anti-aging coffee.
[00:39:56]  Right here, look.
[00:39:57]  Yeah. Anti-aging coffee.
[00:40:02]  Professional. Yeah, anti-aging coffee.
[00:40:07]  What is up with this?
[00:40:08]  I've never heard of such a thing.
[00:40:09]  It's their same bold dark roast that I love, but now it's infused with...
[00:40:14]  C-A...
[00:40:16]  C-A-A-K-G, a compound showed to support cellular health.
[00:40:21]  Can you believe this, Shannon?
[00:40:22]  And actually help reduce your biological age.
[00:40:26]  What in plain English?
[00:40:29]  You will look younger than a Democrat baby blood drinking donor.
[00:40:33]  Wow. I mean, it is safe and lab tested and they're even rolling out biological age tests soon so you can actually see the difference.
[00:40:42]  Wow. I mean, F the plastic surgery we're doing.
[00:40:48]  All we need is this coffee.
[00:40:50]  I want the coffee.
[00:40:51]  You can see the difference.
[00:40:52]  You can get it right now in their longevity bundle.
[00:40:55]  Which is on sale for $99, normally over $250.
[00:41:00]  You get two bags of anti-aging coffee, a rare Peabody roast.
[00:41:06]  That's the best.
[00:41:07]  The Peabody, you know, I had Peabody's coffee in...
[00:41:09]  You had a Peabody.
[00:41:11]  No, but I had the Peabody coffee on my farm in Hawaii.
[00:41:15]  Yeah, it's good.
[00:41:15]  And then your brother-in-law tore them all out because he thought there was poison berries.
[00:41:19]  Let's do the Peabody Award.
[00:41:21]  A rare Peabody roast and some limited edition merch that doesn't look like it was designed by woke interns with pink hair and 400-pound bodies.
[00:41:30]  If you care about your health, your mornings, and not aging like a banana in the sun, this is the coffee you want.
[00:41:38]  Go to 1775...
[00:41:40]  Coffee.com slash Roseanne and grab the longevity bundle while it's still in stock.
[00:41:47]  You better hurry.
[00:41:48]  There's a lot of old people that are after this.

=== Sexual Tensions (06:28) ===

[00:41:51]  Okay, when I was in fifth grade, I found nude Polaroids of my mom that my dad had taken.
[00:42:02]  Okay. And I was highly sexualized, I think.
[00:42:05]  From the Polaroids?
[00:42:06]  Well, no, because, okay.
[00:42:09]  Will you hand her the ashtray?
[00:42:11]  Sure, hi.
[00:42:12]  Shannon, you can sit on the microphone and do all this.
[00:42:16]  I know, but you're on the podcast.
[00:42:18]  You need to be near the microphone and the camera.
[00:42:21]  That's how it works.
[00:42:22]  Thank you.
[00:42:24]  So I think I was highly sexualized because my bedroom and their bedroom was right next to each other and I could hear them fucking.
[00:42:35]  This sounds like a trauma.
[00:42:38]  But it's how you handle it that makes you traumatic or not.
[00:42:42]  It was no big deal to your folk.
[00:42:45]  Did they know you could hear them?
[00:42:47]  No. My dad would tuck me in every night and say, I love you, and pull the covers over.
[00:42:57]  Then in the middle of the night, I could hear my mom going, I'm coming!
[00:43:02]  I'm coming!
[00:43:03]  And I thought...
[00:43:04]  Where is she going?
[00:43:09]  Well, at least he made her complete.
[00:43:11]  That's cool.
[00:43:12]  And then my dad had all these, like, Playboy magazines.
[00:43:16]  I found The Joy of Sex, Lady Chatterly.
[00:43:21]  Like, I was reading all that shit.
[00:43:22]  Like, I was in fifth grade going, oh.
[00:43:25]  All right.
[00:43:26]  That makes sense.
[00:43:26]  But when you say, I'm sorry, when you say you could hear them, like, you...
[00:43:30]  Could hear them.
[00:43:32]  Did they know you could hear them?
[00:43:33]  No. Okay.
[00:43:34]  And then one night I got really scared because it was thundering and lightning and I ran in their bedroom and my mom was blowing my dad.
[00:43:44]  Can I say this?
[00:43:45]  Please. My mom was like, honey, it's okay.
[00:43:49]  And she was like hugging me and breathing on me and I thought, she smells like dick.
[00:43:58]  No, it was like a pheromone.
[00:44:01]  How did you know what dick smelled like about you?
[00:44:03]  Well, no.
[00:44:04]  I mean like a pheromone smell.
[00:44:08]  It smelled like sex in the air.
[00:44:10]  Yeah, it smelled like sex.
[00:44:11]  I had much the same experience in a way with my parents constantly making out, but it made me wretched.
[00:44:21]  I was wretched.
[00:44:23]  I think I was getting off on it.
[00:44:26]  I had a shower.
[00:44:29]  That's the difference between us.
[00:44:31]  You know the shower head with the different pulsating things?
[00:44:37]  Do I want to hear this?
[00:44:38]  We already know where this is going.
[00:44:40]  It doesn't matter if you hear it or not at this point.
[00:44:41]  I was in the shower and I was like, you know.
[00:44:44]  I took it off of that thing.
[00:44:46]  We know it.
[00:44:47]  And I was like, ooh, wait a minute.
[00:44:49]  That feels really good.
[00:44:50]  It's normal.
[00:44:51]  You know, my friend was a nanny.
[00:44:53]  Actually, Eli's wife, Michal.
[00:44:55]  She's a nanny.
[00:44:55]  Can we say this?
[00:44:57]  Yeah. It's totally normal.
[00:44:59]  What makes me laugh is all the lesbians because, you know, my sister's one.
[00:45:04]  And when all their daughters do it, what they say, they say, You need privacy to do that and you need to go into your own room.
[00:45:15]  You can't do that in front of people.
[00:45:17]  That is your own private self and your own private parts.
[00:45:21]  That's only for you to do by yourself.
[00:45:23]  That's what you're supposed to say.
[00:45:24]  Wait, are they gay?
[00:45:26]  Are the twins gay?
[00:45:27]  No. No, they're not gay.
[00:45:29]  Do they have boyfriends?
[00:45:31]  Yeah, lots of them.
[00:45:31]  Yeah, lots of them.
[00:45:33]  Well, one of them is a little bit more boy crazy than the other, I think.
[00:45:38]  They both like the boys which their moms can't handle.
[00:45:41]  Talk about karma.
[00:45:42]  I love it when she goes to her moms.
[00:45:46]  I'll have to ask my boyfriend if that's okay.
[00:45:51]  Wait, does Beanie watch this?
[00:45:53]  Yeah, but this was when the girls were like in third grade.
[00:45:57]  The lesbians.
[00:45:58]  Liberal lesbians.
[00:45:59]  That's great.
[00:46:03]  I never met Max.
[00:46:06]  Oh god, it's so funny!
[00:46:09]  That is great.
[00:46:09]  When I met Max, we were in Zara with Beanie in San Francisco.
[00:46:16]  And then the gay guys, their grandkids, turns out to be trans.
[00:46:26]  Do you think gays are unhappy with the trans children?
[00:46:33]  Everything they've ever said about gender.
[00:46:36]  Get shoved up their butt.
[00:46:38]  Wait, how does that get shoved up their butt?
[00:46:44]  What are you saying?
[00:46:46]  Wait, you're saying gay people would be unhappy with a transgender child?
[00:46:49]  Well, I was talking about gender roles.
[00:46:52]  Yeah. You know, and then here comes their kid.
[00:46:56]  But I think they would be more welcoming of a transgender child.
[00:46:59]  Well, they pretend to.
[00:47:01]  Yeah. But they're like, what?
[00:47:04]  You're gonna...
[00:47:08]  You're gonna become a woman, but keep your dick so you can fuck women?
[00:47:17]  Huh? Wait, is it chicks with dick?
[00:47:26]  It's just great.
[00:47:27]  I think gay grandparents would be okay with that.
[00:47:30]  I think it's more like the religious religion guy.
[00:47:32]  Well, they try to be, but the point is...
[00:47:34]  God's going to get you whatever.
[00:47:36]  You're going to be uncomfortable with whatever the fuck your grandkids...
[00:47:40]  Whatever you think you're missing and you're more progressive then, you're going to get it in the shorts no matter what the fuck from your kids.
[00:47:48]  My dream would be your sister's kids would become like Super Maga.
[00:47:53]  That would be my dream.
[00:47:55]  I tried to get them all to go Maga.
[00:47:57]  They won't do that.
[00:47:59]  I've tried too.
[00:48:00]  I think...
[00:48:01]  Whatever. I think that would bother them more.
[00:48:04]  No, I'm working on the MAGA thing, and I did do it too, and they won't admit it.
[00:48:09]  I got Mama to go MAGA.
[00:48:12]  Beanie's MAGA?
[00:48:14]  Mama. Mama.
[00:48:15]  Bubby. Bubby's MAGA?
[00:48:16]  Bubby's MAGA.
[00:48:18]  Bubby went MAGA!
[00:48:19]  I would love that.

=== Maga Moment (15:07) ===

[00:48:20]  She should.
[00:48:21]  She's like the most Zionist of us all.
[00:48:24]  I know.
[00:48:25]  When the Chabad went MAGA, that's when the fucking left lost their shit.
[00:48:32]  I think so too.
[00:48:33]  I think Jews and Blacks and Latinos tipped that election.
[00:48:37]  And obviously the Serbian...
[00:48:38]  Well, the Amish too.
[00:48:39]  That was what was really remarkable.
[00:48:41]  The Amish are MAGA.
[00:48:43]  Yeah, the Amish are the one that won the election.
[00:48:46]  They rode on their horses, you know, in my new show.
[00:48:50]  The Amish and the Native Americans are...
[00:48:53]  Well, I shouldn't say no more.
[00:48:55]  We're heroic Americans as well as the Native Hawaiians.
[00:49:01]  That's who saved this country.
[00:49:02]  I will tease it though, Shannon, if you'd like.
[00:49:04]  Yeah, I would love a tease.
[00:49:06]  Teases are fine.
[00:49:07]  Of what?
[00:49:08]  That you have a show that might come about.
[00:49:13]  You might see it.
[00:49:14]  I might do it.
[00:49:16]  You might do it.
[00:49:17]  This is big news.
[00:49:18]  Or you might not.
[00:49:19]  You might not.
[00:49:20]  You probably will.
[00:49:21]  Depends on...
[00:49:22]  The anxiety level.
[00:49:24]  No, can I tell you something?
[00:49:26]  We all know right now we've got to strap in.
[00:49:29]  You too.
[00:49:31]  What do you mean strap in?
[00:49:32]  She's going to go crazy if she has to do this show.
[00:49:36]  She's going to go nuts if she has to do this show.
[00:49:39]  The next six, seven months.
[00:49:41]  You know how my mental health is affected my work.
[00:49:43]  We all have to be prepared.
[00:49:48]  And if you do do it...
[00:49:51]  We all have to be...
[00:49:52]  It's only a two-month gig.
[00:49:55]  That needs to be longer.
[00:49:56]  You have to cast.
[00:49:58]  It's at least three months.
[00:49:59]  Yeah. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.
[00:50:02]  I'm just saying, Mom's going to go crazy because when she has to write and be crazy, she goes crazy.
[00:50:06]  That's her process.
[00:50:08]  When she's talking about running in circles, that's what she thinks.
[00:50:10]  I'm just wondering, like, what if you...
[00:50:12]  Well, I was supposed to give a big speech in the morning.
[00:50:14]  I didn't even roll it.
[00:50:15]  Well, here's the thing.
[00:50:17]  You do better under pressure.
[00:50:19]  Under pressure!
[00:50:20]  But could you try one time to not...
[00:50:24]  How does that go?
[00:50:25]  Under pressure.
[00:50:26]  David Bowie.
[00:50:28]  And Queen.
[00:50:29]  It's Queen.
[00:50:30]  It's David Bowie and Queen.
[00:50:31]  And it was stolen by Vanilla Ice.
[00:50:33]  Under pressure.
[00:50:34]  I think Vanilla Ice is great, and I'm tired of people fucking not giving him his props.
[00:50:42]  What I'm saying, Ma, is have you considered, now that you're in your 70s, you've probably got maybe one more show in you, right?
[00:50:49]  Have you considered this time trying to not do the chaotic method and just writing peacefully and working a couple hours a day and enjoying it?
[00:50:57]  Have you thought about maybe trying a different approach, or is it going to be you have to do chaos?
[00:51:03]  I'm asking you as your son.
[00:51:06]  I mean, I'm trying not to go to the chaotic whirling dervish.
[00:51:10]  I can see it coming, though.
[00:51:12]  Not that you're acting bad or anything.
[00:51:14]  You've actually been amazing.
[00:51:15]  But I can see the pressure.
[00:51:17]  You're starting to realize you have to gear up for work, possibly.
[00:51:20]  And I know how you work.
[00:51:22]  I am starting to go crazy.
[00:51:23]  Yeah. Do you think you could try this time?
[00:51:29]  My advice to you, I'm just going to say it.
[00:51:30]  We have good people that are coming to help.
[00:51:33]  Let them do their part.
[00:51:35]  You do your part.
[00:51:35]  Let them carry some of the burden.
[00:51:38]  Nah. I'm going to fuck it up.
[00:51:41]  No, I don't want to fuck it up.
[00:51:43]  I don't mean fuck up the show.
[00:51:44]  But, you know, they are...
[00:51:45]  Your mind, I mean.
[00:51:47]  Men. Right.
[00:51:49]  Oh, that's what it is.
[00:51:50]  So I have to deal with their fucking nonsense.
[00:51:53]  I mean, if I could get a fake...
[00:51:56]  Why don't they come up with a fucking vaccine for that?
[00:51:59]  For men?
[00:52:00]  Huh? For men to not be dictated?
[00:52:04]  I don't want to take the vaccine against them, but they should be vaccinated for stupidity.
[00:52:11]  Against stupidity.
[00:52:14]  Against dick-heartedness.
[00:52:15]  Can I tell you a conversation I had with the two people that might be helping?
[00:52:19]  Because we have to be...
[00:52:20]  I know they're smart, but they're still men.
[00:52:24]  Not just smart.
[00:52:25]  They both said the same thing without knowing each other.
[00:52:28]  I wanted to tell you this.
[00:52:30]  They both said...
[00:52:32]  Because I'm...
[00:52:33]  My role on this project, if it does happen, is keeping...
[00:52:38]  Peace. Yes.
[00:52:39]  That's what I'm good at.
[00:52:40]  Oh, no.
[00:52:41]  That means he's going to cause me an ass.
[00:52:43]  No. No.
[00:52:44]  Pain in the ass.
[00:52:45]  Anyone who says, A, I'm a genius, that means I get fucked in the ass.
[00:52:48]  I didn't say I'm a genius.
[00:52:49]  He said I'm really good at it.
[00:52:50]  Anybody who says they're trying to keep the peace is going to double talk me.
[00:52:55]  Liaison. I'm not double talking.
[00:52:56]  I'm telling you, this is my gift.
[00:52:57]  Liaison. This is my gift.
[00:52:59]  But because I don't control people, I listen to them.
[00:53:01]  And I report.
[00:53:02]  That's what I do.
[00:53:03]  You yap like a son of a bitch.
[00:53:05]  I know, but let me just say what they said, then I'll stop talking.
[00:53:07]  That's what we do.
[00:53:08]  What they both said was, we know that there's going to be territorial stuff between them, not you.
[00:53:13]  They're both creative people.
[00:53:15]  And they said, if that ever happens, we know who's in charge and who gets the final vote.
[00:53:22]  You. Yes.
[00:53:24]  So there you go.
[00:53:25]  Oh, I hate there's animosity already.
[00:53:27]  Not animosity, no.
[00:53:29]  Like, what's the rule?
[00:53:30]  We're going to work it out.
[00:53:30]  What happens if there is a territorial dispute?
[00:53:33]  Because they are men and they're decarded.
[00:53:34]  They say, we will defer to the boss.
[00:53:38]  It's done.
[00:53:38]  They always say that, but then they're like, she's crazy and leaving us down the wrong road.
[00:53:44]  She's totally reacting out of PTSD, isn't she?
[00:53:46]  It is PTSD.
[00:53:48]  You don't need it this time.
[00:53:49]  Why not?
[00:53:50]  That's what they always say.
[00:53:51]  Let's just try it.
[00:53:52]  How about try it?
[00:53:53]  Well, okay, because at least this time I'm not on my period, which is a great blessing because, I mean, when you're on your period working with men, it's too hard.
[00:54:03]  She had the worst periods.
[00:54:05]  She would have to wear two different pads.
[00:54:09]  Shannon. Now I'm traumatized like when your parents were fucking.
[00:54:12]  Shannon. That's just bad.
[00:54:13]  No, she had really bad.
[00:54:15]  Well, you were with me in New York when I had to get off that other ABC show.
[00:54:19]  Me, I was.
[00:54:22]  And I had to fly back and get DNC.
[00:54:26]  And then I said, could you just go ahead and cut it all out?
[00:54:30]  And can you write me a note that I can't return to ABC?
[00:54:32]  Can we tell the story?
[00:54:33]  Are we past the statute of limitations?
[00:54:34]  Because I've always wanted to tell the story.
[00:54:35]  Can I tell the story?
[00:54:37]  Just let me tell the story.
[00:54:39]  I'm muting you.
[00:54:40]  Just close your mouth.
[00:54:41]  She can tell it.
[00:54:43]  You don't remember the story.
[00:54:44]  No, I just want to say when she got up, we were all high watching her on Jay Leno.
[00:54:50]  Yeah. And we were in the Ritz-Carlton, New York.
[00:54:54]  And the pristine white fritté sheets, she gets up and it was bright red blood, like huge.
[00:55:03]  And she goes, oh my god!
[00:55:05]  And I was like, eh!
[00:55:07]  And then she went, and then you had that big huge globule of blood in the toilet.
[00:55:14]  Yeah, there was a medical thing that did happen.
[00:55:16]  No, there was.
[00:55:17]  It was huge.
[00:55:17]  And we had a doctor, a house doctor come to the hotel.
[00:55:19]  No! I was there.
[00:55:22]  I called downtown.
[00:55:23]  Shannon wasn't there, was she?
[00:55:24]  Yes, I was.
[00:55:25]  I was with her in the bed.
[00:55:27]  And I called downstairs and I go, what do we do?
[00:55:30]  And he goes, you could go to New York General, which is like a ghetto, or you could fly home to your own doctor.
[00:55:37]  I go, okay, we flew home to our own doctor.
[00:55:42]  That's not at all what happened.
[00:55:44]  I know, Shannon.
[00:55:45]  That's what happened.
[00:55:47]  No, you're so wrong.
[00:55:48]  I'm going to tell the real story.
[00:55:49]  We did a reality show.
[00:55:51]  Me and Mom were not happy with it.
[00:55:53]  Yeah, for one thing, they spent all the money in the first week.
[00:55:57]  Yeah, and we also found their character arc.
[00:56:00]  They came to us and were like, we're cinema verite, which means we won't manipulate.
[00:56:05]  We're just going to film.
[00:56:06]  We're documentarians.
[00:56:08]  And then we found their whole story arc was like, this person's an idiot.
[00:56:11]  This person fucks over.
[00:56:12]  We found it.
[00:56:13]  They accidentally, they're so dumb, they accidentally left the story arc on my desk.
[00:56:18]  Without telling me, on a show I was producing, I was owning and producing.
[00:56:26]  It said Jake and Jeff, Tweedledee, Tweedledum.
[00:56:29]  So I was like, what the fuck is this?
[00:56:31]  And this was day one of filming.
[00:56:32]  We were retarded, so I give them credit.
[00:56:34]  But they didn't know we were retarded then.
[00:56:36]  So they had pushed it.
[00:56:37]  So I was like, what the fuck is this?
[00:56:39]  So the show comes out, and it's not good.
[00:56:42]  And we weren't happy with the edit.
[00:56:44]  And it airs, and it doesn't do well.
[00:56:47]  It could have been great, though.
[00:56:48]  It was starting to get great.
[00:56:50]  It was called The Real Roseanne on ABC.
[00:56:52]  You can look it up.
[00:56:53]  And it did not do well.
[00:56:55]  It premiered poorly.
[00:56:57]  And that night it premiered, we just felt pure evil, me and mom.
[00:57:01]  Like, we knew it was bad.
[00:57:03]  They were spinning it bad.
[00:57:04]  Not just spinning it bad.
[00:57:05]  We knew the show wasn't great and we just felt evil.
[00:57:08]  And then mom starts bleeding and we're like, we have to go back.
[00:57:12]  So we go back to LA.
[00:57:14]  It is a legit medical emergency.
[00:57:15]  And she's not bleeding a little bit.
[00:57:17]  No, but I was in the bed with her.
[00:57:19]  Okay, well you remember it was chunky, right?
[00:57:20]  So we go back to the doctor and the doctor says, you...
[00:57:23]  Gotta have a hysterectomy.
[00:57:24]  You have a ton of fibroids on your uterus.
[00:57:26]  Sorry, I'm just going to tell you the truth.
[00:57:28]  And we were already trying to get out of the show and the ratings were bad and the reviews were bad and we're like, fuck.
[00:57:33]  But there was nine more episodes of hell.
[00:57:36]  And they wanted us to go on the promo or mom to go on the press tour and the doctor's like, look, you need a hysterectomy.
[00:57:44]  We can wait until the 10 weeks is up.
[00:57:47]  Finish your show.
[00:57:48]  Or I can do it now, but you're not going to be able to finish the show.
[00:57:51]  And she thought we were, I remember, I'll never forget her.
[00:57:54]  I loved her.
[00:57:55]  She delivered some of Jenny's babies.
[00:57:57]  Lovely doctor.
[00:57:58]  And she said, she thought we were going to be bummed.
[00:58:01]  And mom's like, can you put that in a note?
[00:58:04]  She said, can you go, can you call ABC and tell them I need to do this now?
[00:58:08]  And she's like, sure.
[00:58:10]  So we did an emergency hysterectomy, got out of the show.
[00:58:13]  Huge medical thing.
[00:58:14]  That's why we always tease.
[00:58:16]  Mom gave up an organ to get out of that show.
[00:58:18]  But we didn't have to do it.
[00:58:19]  We could have waited.
[00:58:20]  And then we got out of it, and then it was canceled, I think, in two weeks.
[00:58:24]  Well, don't put that in here.
[00:58:25]  Oh, right.
[00:58:28]  Yeah, they were invested in doing a show to humiliate me and my family, and I was producing it, and they had their whole secret thing with ABC behind my back, which should have told me.
[00:58:42]  Never to come back to ABC.
[00:58:44]  ABC is like your abusive boyfriend that we keep going back to.
[00:58:48]  Yeah. Yeah, that's a great analogy.
[00:58:51]  They're like Hamas.
[00:58:51]  Do you remember when Johnny...
[00:58:52]  They're like Hamas and I'm Israel.
[00:58:55]  Yeah. No, remember the first week you dated Johnny, Johnny and her just started dating.
[00:59:01]  No, I remember.
[00:59:01]  And it was a reality show.
[00:59:02]  And mom was getting her checks and she had to sign off checks, which she did with her accountants every week.
[00:59:06]  And they called Johnny in the room like, hey...
[00:59:08]  We want to film this scene.
[00:59:09]  And so they have Johnny looking at the checks.
[00:59:11]  And then they went down and got a camera guy low.
[00:59:13]  So it looks like Johnny's looking over his shoulder counting the money.
[00:59:17]  Yeah, on purpose.
[00:59:18]  And then we didn't know we were partners in their cinema verite.
[00:59:21]  We didn't know until we'd see the edits.
[00:59:23]  The opening theme of that show was the funniest thing.
[00:59:26]  Remember, it was me and Jeff in the studio and we were knocking lights over.
[00:59:29]  Wasn't it RJ?
[00:59:30]  RJ, yeah.
[00:59:31]  Yeah. I don't want to say his name.
[00:59:33]  I don't want to give him credit.
[00:59:33]  But it was me and Jeff in the studio and we're knocking lights over and we're idiots.
[00:59:38]  Tweedledee and Tweedledee.
[00:59:39]  He flies the whole production crew to NYC to do a reality filming of me pitching a show to network heads.
[00:59:48]  I was there.
[00:59:49]  He kills the whole budget in that first week.
[00:59:52]  And the network folk says, no, we're not going to let you film that.
[00:59:59]  And he's like, huh?
[01:00:02]  Because he didn't pre-check it out.
[01:00:05]  He just flew everybody.
[01:00:07]  First class.
[01:00:07]  Oh, I didn't know that.
[01:00:08]  Because he's trying to fuck some chick that's on the crew.
[01:00:12]  I mean, how many...
[01:00:13]  That's why I'm saying about dick tards, they're liars and thieves and perverts.
[01:00:18]  Men are liars, thieves, fucking perverts and degenerates.
[01:00:24]  Alright, we should...
[01:00:25]  Unless you guys have fun.
[01:00:27]  Yeah, I'm having fun.
[01:00:29]  We didn't even get to the sex part.
[01:00:31]  Let's do the sex part.
[01:00:32]  You can edit.
[01:00:33]  I'm not editing anything.
[01:00:34]  What do you want me to edit?
[01:00:35]  What about the sex, Shannon?
[01:00:36]  Tell me, convince me that I'm going to like sex again as I did back when I was alive.
[01:00:43]  Yeah, I want to hear about this.
[01:00:45]  When you were alive?
[01:00:46]  Back when I was alive and I had a sex drive.
[01:00:49]  Are you dead now?
[01:00:50]  Well, my sex drive is dead.
[01:00:52]  The waist down, she's dead, she's saying.
[01:00:54]  The neck down.
[01:00:56]  If she gets her sex drive back, because you're on hormone.
[01:00:59]  If I get my groove back, you just need someone to do your titty nipples.
[01:01:04]  Is that how you do titty nipples?
[01:01:06]  I'm going to try that tonight.
[01:01:07]  Does that work?
[01:01:07]  Mm-hmm.
[01:01:08]  Okay. Practicing.
[01:01:10]  Well... You have the implant, right?
[01:01:11]  They'll have to go in through my spine.
[01:01:15]  Oh my god.
[01:01:17]  Because they're all inverted and shit.
[01:01:19]  Wait, do you still have the bandages on?
[01:01:22]  What? Do you still have the bandages on?
[01:01:24]  Oh yeah, you know what?
[01:01:27]  What's this?
[01:01:28]  What's this?
[01:01:29]  Breaking news.
[01:01:31]  I was sitting in the house we ranted there.
[01:01:35]  What happened again?
[01:01:37]  And she pulls this bandage off and it's one of those circular ones with blood on it.
[01:01:41]  She goes, what's this?
[01:01:43]  And I go, oh my god, it's a bandage with blood on it.
[01:01:46]  And she goes, oh!
[01:01:48]  And I lift up her shirt.
[01:01:50]  She's got six bloody holes in her spine.
[01:01:54]  You don't remember either.
[01:01:56]  From the steroid treatment in her spine because she has no cartilage, evidently, between her birthday.
[01:02:03]  Yeah, I forgot about going there.
[01:02:04]  Wait a minute, hold on.
[01:02:05]  That was like two weeks ago.
[01:02:06]  You still had the band-aids on?
[01:02:08]  I thought they were still on there now.
[01:02:10]  Have you showered in the last three weeks?
[01:02:12]  I've showered, but they don't come off.
[01:02:14]  Did she really shower?
[01:02:15]  Yes, I saw her shower.
[01:02:19]  Hold on a second.
[01:02:20]  I'm going to text the doctor.
[01:02:21]  No, they're still on there.
[01:02:24]  No, we've got to take them off.
[01:02:25]  Two of them came off.
[01:02:26]  Honey, we've got to take those off.
[01:02:28]  You've got to let it go.
[01:02:29]  You can't wear a band-aid for two weeks.
[01:02:31]  Yeah, I'm telling you, it was like two or three weeks ago.
[01:02:34]  You gotta let it breathe.
[01:02:35]  I totally dissociated that I had all them shots.
[01:02:38]  Man, that shit hurt.
[01:02:39]  But you said it worked, right?
[01:02:41]  Did it?
[01:02:41]  It did work and the assistant Igor or whatever his name was, he goes, man, you really know how to breathe through these shots.
[01:02:51]  I go, five kids?
[01:02:52]  Yeah. I know my Lamaze breathing, motherfucker.
[01:02:55]  I know how to do this shit.
[01:02:57]  I mean, it seems, so if that, does it still feel better?
[01:03:00]  Because I was just bent over like an old hag.
[01:03:03]  Yeah. And I walked straight up out of that doctor's office.
[01:03:06]  Our doctor, Shannon.
[01:03:08]  He is so genius.
[01:03:10]  We're going to have him as a guest.
[01:03:11]  Dr. Benny Boomba.
[01:03:14]  He's coming to Olivia's birthday party.
[01:03:16]  He's a genius.
[01:03:17]  He knows everything about everything Trump.
[01:03:21]  And MKUltra.
[01:03:22]  And MKUltra and the Nazis.
[01:03:24]  And he's a real doctor.
[01:03:25]  Like he's an actual deal.
[01:03:27]  You know.

=== Why We Talk About Sex Drive (14:16) ===

[01:03:28]  I want to hear about the sex drive, though.
[01:03:30]  No, I want to say that X39 by LifeWave.
[01:03:34]  Can I just say that?
[01:03:34]  We don't have them as a sponsor, so...
[01:03:36]  But they might be.
[01:03:38]  No, they've asked for like two years.
[01:03:39]  Is that what you're on?
[01:03:40]  Yeah. I have this sticker on my...
[01:03:43]  Oh, I think it's time to take it off.
[01:03:44]  What time is it?
[01:03:46]  I put it...
[01:03:47]  You leave it on for eight hours.
[01:03:49]  Oh, yeah, I got to take it off.
[01:03:50]  If we're not getting paid, I don't want to talk about it.
[01:03:52]  No, but what?
[01:03:53]  You're going to get paid.
[01:03:55]  What? RFK wears it.
[01:03:57]  And Hannah and Randy saw it too and said, oh yeah, that's LifeWave X39.
[01:04:03]  No, I have some.
[01:04:04]  It's like stem cell things you put on.
[01:04:06]  What? I've got to put 40 or 50 of them on me.
[01:04:09]  No, I put it on the back of my neck.
[01:04:11]  I had arthritis in both knees.
[01:04:13]  Oh yeah, she said it worse.
[01:04:15]  You need to get knee replacement soon.
[01:04:20]  And I could barely walk down the steps.
[01:04:24]  I made an appointment for the doctor, and I put those on, and I canceled it.
[01:04:29]  Alright, we'll give them the sponsor.
[01:04:30]  They want to sponsor us.
[01:04:32]  LifeWaveX39. Well, I gotta put it on my neck, too.
[01:04:35]  Yeah. Now, does that make you horny?
[01:04:37]  No. Can you tell her about the horniness?
[01:04:40]  Because she really wants to get her sex drive.
[01:04:41]  I don't want to get horny, but I want to know how it works.
[01:04:44]  Don't you think it'd be good for you to get your sex drive?
[01:04:46]  No! Hell no!
[01:04:47]  Maybe you'll like working with men more.
[01:04:49]  No, I'll get involved with some fucking idiot.
[01:04:51]  Can I tell you something?
[01:04:52]  I wouldn't want to be around women at all if I didn't have a sex drive.
[01:04:56]  So I imagine it's probably why you hate working with men.
[01:04:58]  Maybe a sex drive you'll be like, hey, men are kind of cool.
[01:05:01]  Yeah. Maybe that would help me.
[01:05:03]  Because why would you hang out with the opposite sex if you weren't trying to get laid?
[01:05:08]  That's exactly what I think.
[01:05:10]  I mean, not us, obviously.
[01:05:11]  Great point, Jake.
[01:05:11]  Well, but I mean, if they can write jokes, that's what I like.
[01:05:14]  Even so, if they write jokes and they're like, well, maybe.
[01:05:16]  And they're like, you know.
[01:05:18]  No, because I lied to myself my whole life with that.
[01:05:22]  That you were attracted to men you weren't?
[01:05:23]  Yeah. No, that they would, I just, I always was like.
[01:05:29]  Thinking, if I'm attracted to somebody, that's never going to work.
[01:05:32]  Because they're not going to be attracted to me.
[01:05:36]  You're crazy.
[01:05:37]  You're such a negative.
[01:05:38]  You're out of your mind.
[01:05:38]  I would think, well, whoever likes me, I'll have to go with them.
[01:05:42]  I used to have that.
[01:05:43]  I know what you're talking about.
[01:05:44]  It's called low self-esteem.
[01:05:45]  Self-deprecation.
[01:05:46]  No, it's called low self-esteem.
[01:05:48]  Whoever likes me, if they're...
[01:05:49]  A fucking clown.
[01:05:51]  Yeah, at least I got someone to like them.
[01:05:52]  Goddamn serial killer, what have you.
[01:05:54]  I gotta go with them.
[01:05:56]  I know what you're talking about.
[01:05:57]  And I don't even like them, but they like me, so what the fuck?
[01:06:02]  Anybody I like ain't gonna like me.
[01:06:04]  I know what you're talking about.
[01:06:05]  Well, I got on the testosterone.
[01:06:07]  For instance, like Richard Gere, there's no way I'm gonna get him to like me.
[01:06:13]  Maybe. I mean, he put a gerbil up his butthole.
[01:06:15]  No, that was a myth.
[01:06:17]  Can I just say, so I was on the testosterone and you saw me.
[01:06:22]  I was shaving.
[01:06:24]  I wasn't going to say anything.
[01:06:26]  He goes, can we put this on the package?
[01:06:28]  I was dripping blood.
[01:06:30]  I had blood all over my body.
[01:06:31]  No, you've always shaved.
[01:06:32]  We both always shaved.
[01:06:34]  I have like a huge cut and he goes, just say it's herpes.
[01:06:37]  Yeah, we'll say it's herpes.
[01:06:39]  No, it wouldn't coagulate.
[01:06:41]  Like, I had blood dripping like a vampire.
[01:06:44]  She cut her face shaving before this podcast and I thought it was the funniest thing ever because she's on testosterone.
[01:06:49]  I had to use a new Gillette razor because that's my favorite.
[01:06:53]  Gillette, we love you, double-bladed Gillette.
[01:06:56]  The blue one.
[01:06:58]  And I'm like...
[01:06:58]  And then just blood and it wouldn't stop because alcohol thins your blood.
[01:07:07]  Oh. Well, we did drink quite a bit this week, didn't we?
[01:07:11]  We always do.
[01:07:12]  Did we drink a lot this week?
[01:07:14]  Karaoke and carrying on.
[01:07:15]  What about that movie we watched?
[01:07:18]  That movie was a mind-blower.
[01:07:20]  Baby Reindeer.
[01:07:22]  I agree.
[01:07:23]  I got her to watch movies.
[01:07:27]  It was the most honest, authentic discussion of what happens post-sexual assault that I've ever seen.
[01:07:33]  Yeah, I think so too.
[01:07:34]  Nobody talks about it.
[01:07:35]  That scene and then everything that happens after.
[01:07:39]  Was so fucking ballsy and brave.
[01:07:41]  But he downplays his own act of sexual assault, though.
[01:07:45]  Absolutely. He lets himself off the hook.
[01:07:48]  Well, you have to.
[01:07:49]  I guess.
[01:07:51]  He sexually assaults a mentally ill woman and lets himself off the hook.
[01:07:56]  We watched David and Goliath.
[01:07:58]  Yeah, that's true.
[01:07:58]  The House of David.
[01:08:00]  The whole movie is to let himself off the hook for that.
[01:08:03]  You're right.
[01:08:04]  Yeah, because he's a man.
[01:08:06]  Well, he was also raped.
[01:08:08]  Yeah, but he's a man.
[01:08:10]  But I'm just saying, when you're raped, it's a change.
[01:08:11]  Yeah, well, that fucks you up, but...
[01:08:13]  Unless he did that.
[01:08:15]  No, he was sodomized horribly, and it said the scene is going to be troubling.
[01:08:21]  But then House of David...
[01:08:23]  Oh, we watched David, King of Israel, I think.
[01:08:26]  She couldn't stop watching.
[01:08:27]  It was 4 a.m., and I was falling asleep, and she goes, Hey!
[01:08:32]  Are you asleep?
[01:08:34]  And she binge-watched House of David, which is about David and Goliath.
[01:08:40]  I like that at the beginning they say, this is not historically or biblically accurate in any way.
[01:08:48]  We're just embellishing.
[01:08:49]  We're embellishing the story when it makes sense for us to do so.
[01:08:53]  Character. And I was like, Shannon, look at this.
[01:08:57]  Look at this.
[01:08:58]  They actually...
[01:09:03]  They rewrite the words of God.
[01:09:09]  They actually rewrite the Torah and the words of God because they're Hollywood.
[01:09:16]  We gotta watch the end again because we couldn't see it because it was too great.
[01:09:20]  And I only wanted to see when he kills the fuck out of Goliath.
[01:09:24]  I wanted to see the special effects of that.
[01:09:26]  Yeah, me too.
[01:09:27]  But they really Hollywooded up the story with the...
[01:09:31]  And it was really cultural appropriation and racism and every other thing that Hollywood does to the Jews and to the Torah.
[01:09:45]  But some of it was good.
[01:09:47]  So I just concentrate on the good stuff like the Prophet Samuel.
[01:09:53]  Although they...
[01:09:56]  Hollywood, that shit up too.
[01:09:57]  Jewish lore is fascinating.
[01:09:59]  No, I know, and I'm glad they did it, and I was really glad to see the number of Gentiles involved in rewriting Jewish history.
[01:10:09]  That's what a Gentile is.
[01:10:12]  Yeah, and their viewpoint on it is sometimes amazing.
[01:10:18]  Profound. That's why I like Christians.
[01:10:20]  There was a great analogy for her to be David.
[01:10:25]  Fighting off Hollywood as Goliath.
[01:10:28]  Like Hollywood, Goliath, your day of life.
[01:10:30]  Yeah, that's where I was like, uh-oh, I'm going to...
[01:10:32]  My sitcom, as I call it.
[01:10:36]  There's a sitcom?
[01:10:38]  No sitcom.
[01:10:39]  But, yeah, I got...
[01:10:42]  Whoa, it was really...
[01:10:43]  I love the stuff you were writing me.
[01:10:44]  Yeah. Even if that becomes...
[01:10:46]  However that manifests, I love it.
[01:10:49]  I loved it.
[01:10:49]  Because I saw my story in that way, you know?
[01:10:53]  Art imitates life.
[01:10:54]  Yeah, because we want to make it real personal because, you know, the Roseanne show was so personal.
[01:11:00]  That's the most relatable art and the most important art.
[01:11:02]  Otherwise, you're just jerking off.
[01:11:04]  Yeah, and you know, they're saying that they're going to do a farewell Rose Connors, which is them stealing the Roseanne show.
[01:11:14]  I sent it to you.
[01:11:15]  Yeah, I mean, it's their last season.
[01:11:17]  And I'm like, oh my God, what are they going to do?
[01:11:18]  AI me.
[01:11:20]  No, you know what they're doing that's really disgusting?
[01:11:22]  I don't know what they're going to do because I've never watched that shit show.
[01:11:24]  But what they've done is, and they'll deny it, but we know better, they have teased that you're going to return in order to get their shit ratings up.
[01:11:34]  And I think that's more disgusting than killing you and stealing your show, in my opinion, is using you because they have such shit ratings.
[01:11:40]  Hey, Roseanne might return.
[01:11:42]  Dangle the carrot.
[01:11:43]  But it's like, hey, the person we stole the show from and we killed, they might return.
[01:11:48]  Well, she's not going to.
[01:11:49]  They've never asked.
[01:11:49]  So they're just dangling to get ratings.
[01:11:51]  No, but I will go back on.
[01:11:53]  I just want to send this message out.
[01:11:56]  $10 million.
[01:11:58]  A second.
[01:11:59]  And an apology.
[01:12:00]  I want it.
[01:12:01]  It's $10 million or I'll do it free with an apology.
[01:12:06]  Yeah. That you purposely.
[01:12:09]  Twisted my words because you're anti-Semitic.
[01:12:12]  Or whatever the reason.
[01:12:14]  It doesn't matter.
[01:12:14]  Because you're anti-Semitic.
[01:12:17]  And I said Muslim Brotherhood.
[01:12:19]  And you are Muslim Brotherhood.
[01:12:20]  So fuck you.
[01:12:22]  But I'll do it for free if you'll admit that Valerie Jarrett is the head of the Muslim Brotherhood and you want to destroy Israel and you hate Jews.
[01:12:31]  And you purposely twisted my words because of that.
[01:12:37]  I'll come on for free.
[01:12:40]  Wow, you heard it here first.
[01:12:42]  And I'll come on there naked for free.
[01:12:46]  And that'll be the best ratings you've had since.
[01:12:49]  You kicked my ass out of there, you motherfuckers.
[01:12:54]  Naked as a jaybird.
[01:12:56]  The Rose Ambrard Podcast.
[01:12:58]  Is that the best rating?
[01:12:58]  So you see!
[01:13:00]  Oh, we didn't even do the sex thing.
[01:13:02]  Oh, well do it.
[01:13:04]  Tell me the sex stuff.
[01:13:05]  I have to pee really bad.
[01:13:07]  We can wrap up.
[01:13:07]  Just tell mom when she gets horny what comes out of horniness.
[01:13:11]  Should we pee?
[01:13:12]  No, you can't take a break.
[01:13:13]  Just wrap it up.
[01:13:13]  Just tell her what comes out of horniness.
[01:13:15]  Hooriness. Whoops.
[01:13:17]  Hooriness? He said hooriness.
[01:13:19]  Hooriness slip.
[01:13:20]  Horniness. What is...
[01:13:21]  Let's just say, do you feel more vibrant with the sex stuff?
[01:13:25]  I do.
[01:13:26]  My sister-in-law is 74. I'm 64. She's going to turn 75. I'm going to turn 65 and get...
[01:13:34]  Social Security and everything.
[01:13:36]  But it's, you know, other than cutting myself shaving, it's been great.
[01:13:46]  I have pictures of me that I want to...
[01:13:50]  This isn't going to be visual, right?
[01:13:52]  This is a video podcast.
[01:13:53]  There's a camera.
[01:13:54]  Oh, right, right, right.
[01:13:55]  I want to give you pictures of me in my various wigs and outfits.
[01:14:02]  With? Because...
[01:14:04]  With what?
[01:14:05]  What are you showing?
[01:14:06]  Like what the testosterone does?
[01:14:07]  No, I mean like my different looks for, you know, Saturday night, date night.
[01:14:12]  Oh, your sex night.
[01:14:14]  Yes. She has sex night with her husband every Saturday night.
[01:14:17]  She knows that.
[01:14:17]  You put a lot of energy into like having a romantic and you said that you, you know, talk and you dance.
[01:14:25]  And we kiss.
[01:14:26]  I think that's so cute.
[01:14:28]  You know, smoke some pot, have a couple drinks, and yeah, and we just, like, light candles and stuff, and we make it a whole night.
[01:14:37]  I think that's so cute.
[01:14:39]  Yeah. How long do you have to have sex for, though?
[01:14:42]  Well, what?
[01:14:43]  How long do you have to actually have, like, pretend, like, how long do you have to do the...
[01:14:47]  You sound like me now.
[01:14:49]  No. Like, this sounds great for, like, 15 minute stops.
[01:14:52]  Is this hours?
[01:14:53]  Are we talking hours?
[01:14:55]  Yes. That sounds horrible.
[01:14:56]  She's a tantric.
[01:14:58]  Oh, tantric sex is so...
[01:15:01]  I don't get that.
[01:15:01]  I want to go to bed.
[01:15:02]  I want to be done about that.
[01:15:04]  Like, we'll start at like 8 and end up at 1. But that's all, you know, all night talking.
[01:15:12]  Do you have sex and stuff?
[01:15:13]  Uh-huh, uh-huh.
[01:15:14]  And then I go change outfits.
[01:15:17]  Oh. Does he orgasm each time or is he edgy?
[01:15:20]  No, no, no, no.
[01:15:20]  Not till the end.
[01:15:22]  What? Is he a fucking god of men?
[01:15:25]  He holds off.
[01:15:26]  Minute and a half tops.
[01:15:27]  And then, like, I'll go put on a different outfit.
[01:15:31]  Like, I'll dress as a secretary with glasses and a bun.
[01:15:35]  This sounds horrible, Mom.
[01:15:37]  With a tie.
[01:15:38]  Doesn't it sound horrible?
[01:15:39]  No, but I like doing the outfits.
[01:15:41]  And then I'll do, like, I go, what's your vibe, you know?
[01:15:45]  And he'll go, cowboy, you know?
[01:15:47]  And so I'll do a whole cowboy look.
[01:15:49]  But usually I have to make it up.
[01:15:52]  And he always says, I like it tight.
[01:15:56]  You know, like a tight dress and a blazer or whatever.
[01:16:00]  I mean, I think it's adorable, but honestly, I'm tired even thinking about that.
[01:16:04]  Well, that's because you have young children.
[01:16:06]  No, even if I was in tremendous shape, that does not do anything for me.
[01:16:10]  He's 70. I've never wanted it.
[01:16:13]  I mean, I don't want the sex thing to go 18 hours.
[01:16:15]  I want to be done.
[01:16:17]  It's not 18 hours.
[01:16:18]  More than three minutes.
[01:16:19]  But we only do it once.
[01:16:20]  But they only do it once a week.
[01:16:22]  And then Sunday fun day.
[01:16:24]  They put a lot of plan, huh?
[01:16:25]  We do Sunday fun day.
[01:16:27]  Is that sex too?
[01:16:29]  Is that recovery?
[01:16:30]  It's like, you know, waking up, making breakfast, and then...
[01:16:35]  You know, fooling around and laying around and watching TV and stuff.
[01:16:39]  I mean, I think that's really sweet.
[01:16:40]  I shouldn't talk.
[01:16:41]  That's like a weekend affair.
[01:16:43]  It's lovely.
[01:16:44]  I think that's really cute.
[01:16:45]  Isn't that nice?
[01:16:46]  I think so.
[01:16:47]  Thanks, honey.
[01:16:48]  No, I'm so happy for you and that you have those feelings for someone that returns them.
[01:16:53]  Yeah, me too.
[01:16:54]  I waited 50 years for that guy.
[01:16:57]  That is, you did.
[01:16:58]  And I was always, I mean, my sex thing is...
[01:17:04]  Just off the charts with horror.
[01:17:06]  Just all horror.
[01:17:08]  Shame. Hideousness.
[01:17:10]  Never. I never felt comfortable having sex.
[01:17:15]  I want that to change.
[01:17:17]  Why? It's too late now.
[01:17:19]  Because it's fun when you get over it and you meet a good partner.
[01:17:22]  It's fun.
[01:17:23]  You actually might enjoy sex.
[01:17:25]  Can you imagine enjoying sex?
[01:17:26]  You're a scapegoat.
[01:17:28]  Think about enjoying sex.
[01:17:30]  I mean, I didn't say I didn't enjoy it, but in a twisted, horrific way.
[01:17:35]  Well, that's enjoyment.
[01:17:35]  But everybody's like, oh, you know, you're beloved.
[01:17:40]  And I'm like, Christ, have you ever been with another girl?

=== Liked But Not Truly (06:15) ===

[01:17:44]  She's like, my son, we don't care.
[01:17:46]  No one's watching.
[01:17:49]  In the reality of the world?
[01:17:52]  In the real, like, earthling thing?
[01:17:55]  I've never been with another person.
[01:18:00]  That's hilarious.
[01:18:04]  That's also sad.
[01:18:07]  I never felt like I was ever with anyone who liked me.
[01:18:11]  Who really liked me.
[01:18:14]  I just got with people who wanted someone to be mean to.
[01:18:19]  They wanted somebody to be mean to and to blame.
[01:18:25]  If I can kick around.
[01:18:26]  I feel like Bill...
[01:18:27]  I don't know why I allowed that, but I did.
[01:18:30]  Maybe it worked for you.
[01:18:31]  Maybe it worked for you on another level.
[01:18:34]  Bill liked you.
[01:18:35]  You liked Bill.
[01:18:37]  Not really.
[01:18:38]  No. We didn't like each other.
[01:18:40]  I don't remember you guys liking each other.
[01:18:42]  I don't think we liked each other at all.
[01:18:44]  I think you guys liked each other like...
[01:18:46]  Friends? As friends, yeah.
[01:18:48]  I think we liked each other as friends.
[01:18:51]  And we liked each other as like...
[01:18:54]  Like my dad.
[01:18:55]  Co-partners in line.
[01:18:56]  No, we liked each other that we admired each other's writing.
[01:19:01]  Yeah, you guys, you had admiration for each other.
[01:19:03]  We were similar in some ways, but he was just, oh, God.
[01:19:09]  That's your dad you're talking about.
[01:19:12]  Your dad is like, I didn't know he was a reptile.
[01:19:16]  I always, you know, I...
[01:19:19]  Do you see your dad very often?
[01:19:22]  No. He lives not far away.
[01:19:24]  I know.
[01:19:24]  He moved to Texas where he lives.
[01:19:25]  That's so fucked up.
[01:19:26]  He's not able to travel.
[01:19:28]  No, he's a reptilian.
[01:19:30]  How old is he?
[01:19:33]  73 going on 100.
[01:19:35]  He hates Trump.
[01:19:36]  Okay. He hates Trump's guts.
[01:19:38]  I know.
[01:19:39]  I know.
[01:19:40]  He thinks he was Hillary and then Kamala.
[01:19:43]  It's not that.
[01:19:44]  He's writing 87. Or $86.45 on dollar bills.
[01:19:50]  On dollar bills.
[01:19:50]  What is $86.45?
[01:19:52]  $86 is kill.
[01:19:53]  Oh, yeah.
[01:19:55]  Kill Trump.
[01:19:57]  If you ever get a dollar bill that says $86.45, that's my name.
[01:20:00]  Remember when you're a waitress, this dish is $86.
[01:20:06]  Okay. John, last year at $70, went down the double diamonds on the mountain in Vail.
[01:20:15]  Yeah. I mean, after triple bypass.
[01:20:20]  So it's all in what you think.
[01:20:23]  And your dad has, like, succumbed to.
[01:20:27]  Yeah. He's accepted his own age.
[01:20:29]  He doesn't watch this, does he?
[01:20:31]  Yeah. He does?
[01:20:32]  No, I'm kidding.
[01:20:32]  He doesn't watch this, no.
[01:20:33]  No, he succumbed to Satan.
[01:20:35]  But he wants to come on to promote his book, and I told him we would let him, but it's obviously your call.
[01:20:40]  I think it'd be the greatest episode of all times.
[01:20:42]  You should have, man.
[01:20:43]  He wouldn't be able to stand me going off on him.
[01:20:46]  What podcast would be better than Mother, Son, and Dad?
[01:20:50]  You guys have been divorced for three years.
[01:20:52]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:20:52]  I love it.
[01:20:53]  You got it.
[01:20:53]  The dynamic has never been seen.
[01:20:54]  I'd have to call him out for his being fucking Hamas.
[01:20:57]  No, I would love it.
[01:20:58]  Personally, I would love it.
[01:20:59]  How do you think he would react?
[01:21:01]  He would freak out and walk out and punch the drywall like he did when I had a kid.
[01:21:05]  I'll knock his fucking ass out, and that isn't no allegory.
[01:21:08]  I'll jump on his fucking ball head and kick it through the wall.
[01:21:13]  I will.
[01:21:14]  I know you will.
[01:21:14]  You know, I will go violent on your dad.
[01:21:17]  Oh, maybe you better not.
[01:21:18]  I have thrown so many things at your dad in his lifetime.
[01:21:21]  I remember when you pulled a drawer.
[01:21:22]  We were in a room, me and my sisters, and mom pulled an entire...
[01:21:25]  I could tell by the sound.
[01:21:27]  Apparently, she had pulled an entire dresser drawer and emptied the contents.
[01:21:31]  And I think you threw the drawer at his head or all the contents.
[01:21:34]  We heard every content in the drawer.
[01:21:36]  I emptied each drawer.
[01:21:37]  And then threw the fucking dresser at his ass.
[01:21:40]  I heard that.
[01:21:41]  We were in the other room holding each other, me and my sisters.
[01:21:43]  And you did the clothes and the pool.
[01:21:45]  You're violent, dude.
[01:21:47]  I am violent.
[01:21:48]  That's why I always marry violent men.
[01:21:50]  I want to get them going so they'll swing at me and then I can shoot their ass.
[01:21:57]  I have a violent streak to myself.
[01:22:00]  That's why I try to pray to God to get it out of me.
[01:22:04]  Because I was raised in a violent household.
[01:22:07]  Nobody better fuck with me.
[01:22:08]  Maybe you should put him in, like, a fenced-in thing.
[01:22:11]  No, I think you should beat the shit out of Dad on the podcast.
[01:22:13]  I think it'd be the biggest podcast episode of all time.
[01:22:15]  I'll tell you what.
[01:22:16]  Just to show...
[01:22:18]  I hope I ain't cursing myself here.
[01:22:21]  Peace. Just to show my...
[01:22:23]  Love. The self-mastery I've attained.
[01:22:28]  I will not beat his ass.
[01:22:31]  I'll treat him with dignity and kindness.
[01:22:34]  And peace?
[01:22:35]  Yeah. Because I can do it.
[01:22:36]  Okay. I think that would be epic.
[01:22:39]  I think that would be epic, honey.
[01:22:42]  To have Jake, his son, your son, and him.
[01:22:46]  We could work all our family time out on the podcast.
[01:22:49]  The triangle.
[01:22:51]  I'll fake it for the first 55. Let's build it up.
[01:22:54]  Let's actually structure it beforehand.
[01:22:56]  And then in the end I'll go nuts on his ass like I used to.
[01:22:59]  Fuck yeah.
[01:23:00]  Let's do it.
[01:23:01]  How's Becky?
[01:23:05]  Not good.
[01:23:06]  The both of them's nutty or fruitcake.
[01:23:08]  Yeah, I don't like it.
[01:23:10]  We goddamn love the fucking Democrats.
[01:23:11]  What are you going to do?
[01:23:13]  What are you going to do when they come for you?
[01:23:17]  Bad boys.
[01:23:18]  Bad libs.
[01:23:19]  All right, everybody.
[01:23:20]  What are you going to do?
[01:23:21]  Love you.
[01:23:22]  Libtards. Libtards.
[01:23:23]  Super feels.
[01:23:25]  Listen. We just want the libtards to rejoin the human race.
[01:23:30]  We love you.
[01:23:32]  We pray for your souls, for your minds to be retrieved from the pits of hell and to come back to the living.
[01:23:40]  And that's all we want.
[01:23:42]  That's all we want for you and for the world, that you will retain your critical thinking and come back to the place of the human beings.
[01:23:50]  So you see!
[01:23:53]  My patience is fucking running thin with you stupid fucking assholes.
[01:23:57]  In this synthetic...