Rush Limbaugh, the cutting edge of societal evolution.
Half my brain tied behind my back.
Just to make it fair, it's Friday.
So let's go.
Live from the Southern Command in sunny South Florida.
It's Open Line Friday!
And here's the drill.
Monday through Thursday, we only talk about things I care about because I am the reason people listen.
And if I talk about things that I don't care about, I'm going to sound boring and people won't listen, and that's not the goal.
So on Friday, because of my benevolence here as a dictator, I will open the phones and we take more calls on Friday than any other day.
And you can talk about whatever you want, whether I care about it or not.
I will go so far as to fake interest in order to make your call a pleasurable experience.
As a highly trained broadcast specialist, this is a huge career risk that I take on Fridays, opening so much of the program to lovable, but nevertheless rank amateurs.
And it's fun.
We always look forward to it.
So here's the phone number, 800-282-2882.
The email address is rush at EIBnet.com.
I was just looking out the windows facing north here from the EIB Southern Command Broadcast Complex during the break.
And across the road where we are, excuse me, little William F. Buckley impersonation area.
Across the road from where we are, there's a screw.
It looks like it's a, what, grade screwal or middle school?
It's an elementary school.
Thank you, Dawn.
And we go out there and look at them.
The kids are always out there playing at recess or doing things, and they play lacrosse, and they play softball.
I got a little ball diamond out there.
It's nice, nice screw.
But I just saw something that I don't care about.
I think it's great.
But if the social services people hear about this, which I guess they will now, there might be a problem with their kids are out playing kickball with big, big, it's like baseball, except the teacher rolls the ball in and the kid stands at home plate, kicks it, and then runs around the bases.
Unless somebody catches it, then they're out.
And right there, just between the pitcher's mound and second base, is a young boy in a wheelchair.
Now, I think it's great that they get the kid out there in a wheelchair, but they let him enjoy it.
But you know, the little hands-on liberals in this country that want to protect everybody from any potential danger.
Imagine if somebody runs into that kid chasing a ball in a wheelchair.
Imagine if somebody kicks the ball at the kid, hits him.
He can't defend himself.
He's in a wheelchair.
They do have a teacher standing behind him at the wheelchair, not in front of him.
I was stunned to see this.
I thought in some places, socially conscious and advanced as South Florida, that this kind of thing, really, this was the thought that hit my mind.
At first thought, you can ask Snerdley.
I said this to him.
I said, there are going to be hell to pay if people find out about it.
He said, well, you better not mention it because they will.
And I said, well, it's too late.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, it's a rare occasion on this program when I'm wrong, when I am flat out wrong.
I'm still not sure that I am.
But when I am wrong, it's so rare.
I love doing things that don't happen a lot.
They're exciting.
We had a call of the first hour or comment, actually.
Snerdley asked me, where does the tax revenue from fake social security cards held by illegal immigrants go?
And I automatically, using my intelligence guided by experience, said the government, government will take it.
Don't care where it comes from.
Taxes go to the government.
I said the employers don't dare hold on to this money.
I mean, the government will find them.
So I get this email from Kenneth Jones Clark in Phoenix.
He said, Rush, I hate to contradict you.
And I know that's tough.
It's tough for people to tell me.
Some people love to tell me I'm wrong, but most people are haunted by it.
They're intimidated by it.
I hate to contradict you, but the money that's deducted from the paychecks of illegals does not go to the government.
It goes directly back to the pocket of the employer.
You must understand that the typical employer of illegals knows that he, she is employing illegals.
Consequently, the employer is in the perfect position to rip off both the illegal who can't make a complaint as well as the government who doesn't know that the illegal is being employed.
This is not some theory.
It's actually happening in most circumstances.
The theory is that if they report this, if they actually send the money to Washington under that Social Security number, that somebody in Washington at the tax authority clearing house will find out they're hiring illegals and there'll be hell to pay.
I guess that's a possibility, but I don't, there hasn't been too much pursuit of illegals.
They've ramped it up recently to make it look like they are doing something about it, but they haven't.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, time for a new feature.
And this is based on Bob Shrum's book.
Bob Shrum's book, I forget the title of the book.
But Bob Shrum is just ripping the Breck girl, John Edwards, all across the board.
He says, Shrum ran Kerry's presidential campaign.
Shrum has never run, he's a consultant, he has never run a victorious Democrat presidential campaign, yet they all hire him.
I don't think anybody's hired him this time around.
The jig may be up.
But he's got to setting the table here and getting even for something.
And there are many things in the book.
One of the things in the book is about Edwards.
A lot of the things in the book is about Edwards, how Kerry didn't like him, thought he was lightweight and so forth.
And yesterday, the Washington Post ran this story that said Shrum asked Edwards what his position was on gay rights.
And he quotes Edwards as saying, well, I'm not too comfortable around those people.
Which I guarantee you, if a Republican had said that, and it was quoted in the Washington Post yesterday, he would be in rehab today.
He'd be getting his mind right somewhere.
He would have been shipped off to sensitivity training.
This was page A9 or some such thing in the Washington Post.
So we headlined this today at rushlimbaugh.com with a parody picture of Edwards on a movie poster for Pirates of the Caribbean.
And the headline is: Edwards gets booty says uncomfortable with gays.
Because he also, we've learned that Edwards has like a 10% stake in $500 million of sunken treasure that that hedge fund he went to work for has found.
You know, he said he went to the hedge fund to learn about poverty, and I think he learned something about it.
Avoid it.
I think that's what he wants.
Anyway, the whole Democrat Party is becoming a soap opera.
There are books out there now about Hillary Clinton, three of them.
So we've got a soap opera going on.
The theme from the young and the restless.
They tell me.
I haven't ever seen it, so I'm just accepting that the broadcast engineers got this right.
Is this the right song to that TV?
It is.
Thank you.
Naughtiest theme, I think it is.
Hang on here while I blow my nose.
You won't hear it.
it just hang on.
It does.
It sounds that this I wear a cochlear implant and these strings of violence, they sound like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.
Oh my God.
Makes it even better.
Okay, that's enough of it.
Let's get on with the update information of the Democrat Party soap repair.
Washington Post big story today.
Top of the front page.
They say they've been given copies of the new Hillary Clinton biographies by former Post star Carl Bernstein and New York Times reporters Jeff Gerth and Don Van Netta.
Now, these are media elite fixtures, these three guys, and they're not ideological enemies.
And the Post says they could be harder to dismiss because of this.
Reporters Peter Baker and John Solomon do the Washington Post story.
Hillary Clinton, who emerges from the pages of the books, comes across as a complicated, sometimes compromised figure who tolerated Bill Clinton's brazen infidelity, pursued her policy and political goals with methodical drive, and occasionally skirted along the edge of the truth along the way.
Skirted along the edge of the truth.
She was afraid that Starr was going to indict her for perjury over her testimony about the Rose Law Firm and the Morgan Garrity Trust and the billing records and all that.
And of course, the Clinton spokesmen are out there saying exactly what I said.
Oh, this is old news.
This is just a bunch of people trying to earn money.
This is old news.
And that's why these books are coming out by now, right now, by the way, just so that by the time they get down to the campaign, the end of the year, primaries start getting questions about this.
Oh, that's just, that's old news.
I mean, that's that.
I'm not talking about that.
That's old.
That's just people trying to make a buck.
That is modus operandi number one of Clinton, Inc.
Now, here, according to Bernstein, while in Arkansas, Clinton personally interviewed one woman alleged to have had an affair with her husband.
She contemplated divorce, thought about running for governor in 1990 out of anger at her husband's indiscretions.
In her way, the hopes and ambitions of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Gerth and Don Van Netta, they report that during her husband's 92 campaign, a team that she, Hillary, oversaw, hired a private investigator to undermine Jennifer Flowers until she was destroyed.
Flowers had said publicly she'd had an affair with Bill Clinton while he was governor of Art.
This is soap opera kind of stuff.
And I'll tell you, you know, everybody has thought for the longest time, you know, that Mrs. Clinton acting surprised and shocked over Monica Lewinsky.
There was no way blaming the other right-wing conspiracy.
She knew about it all along.
She had bouts of ambivalence about it.
At times she got mad and she wanted to get even with these women and plotted against them.
Now, here we go.
Chapter or paragraph 17 here, the revelations of what the details are I've just mentioned show up when the reporters for the Post explore more of Bernstein's book.
The woman who also figured in Bill Clinton's life in Arkansas made a return appearance in the book, most notably Marilyn Joe Jenkins.
Now, when I read, I've not heard of Marilyn Joe Jenkins.
Have you heard of Marilyn Joe Jenkins?
Well, let me tell you I didn't know it either, but Bernstein tells us this about her.
She's a power company executive that Clinton fell in love with and almost left Hillary over.
Jenkins has been linked to Clinton before.
She was spirited into the governor's mansion at 5.15 a.m. for a final meeting with Bill Clinton the day he left for Washington to become president.
Bill Clinton wanted to divorce his wife to be with this woman, Mary Joe Jenkins, in 1989, Bernstein says, but Hillary Clinton refused.
There are worse things than infidelity, she told Betsy Wright, the governor's, and Betsy Wright, we know she was head of the Bimbo Eruptions Unit.
There are worse things than infidelity.
This crisis frayed Wright's relationship with Bill Clinton, too.
And she told Bernstein that she arranged for the two of them, Betsy Wright and President Clinton, to see a therapist together, or Hillary Clinton, Betsy Wright, see a therapist.
Hillary Clinton, meanwhile, turned to her best friend Diane Blair, obliquely raising the prospect of divorce during a long walk.
She was thinking they had not made much money.
Chelsea was there now.
What if she were on her own?
She didn't own a house.
She was concerned that if she were to become a single parent, how would she make it work in a way that would be good for Chelsea?
So the Clinton stayed together, but out of anger and hurt, Hillary considered running for governor in 1990 when he presumably would step down to prepare his 92 presidential campaign.
Dick Morris quashed that idea by showing her two polls, which indicated she had no independent identity with Arkansas voters.
It said, you're no different than George Wallace's wife who ran to succeed him in Alabama.
And apparently, Hillary was greatly offended by this.
Anyway, it goes on to talk about how Webb Hubble and Vincent Foster were hired to represent women named in a lawsuit as having secret affairs with the governor.
Hubble and Foster questioned the women, then obtained signed statements that they had never had sex with Bill Clinton.
On one occasion, according to Bernstein, Hillary Clinton was present for the questioning.
So the more we keep hearing, and as it's reported about the Democrats from Edwards and Shrum, and now we've got this, these two books on Hillary, and believe me, they are timed perfectly to get them out of the way now.
Most of the stuff in these books, people have long suspected, some cases known for quite a while.
Hang on here, folks.
Just reading something.
It just came.
I got to study this to figure out what this is.
Anyway, welcome back.
Something about an illegal monkey.
Illegal monkey immigrant.
It's an audio sound, but I have to figure this out.
Welcome back.
Great to have you serving humanity.
Rush Limbos here simply by showing up.
And to Burlington, Vermont, we go to Steve.
Nice to have you, sir, and welcome to the EIB network.
Well, thanks for taking my call, and I appreciate all you do out there for us.
I do too.
Thank you, and I appreciate the comments.
Hey, you know, I'm having a hard time understanding why there's not more solar that's being used in this country.
It's a viable option, even up in Vermont, where we just don't have any sun, you know, more cloud than more cloudy days than sunny days by far.
And we can have a solar system for your hot water put on your roof and pay the person back money every month by utility savings.
They've never done that, pal, but it's not going to power your car.
No, it's not going to power your power plant.
Not yet.
We don't have the ability to harness it.
Someday it could.
But it's going to power your bath, Rush.
And that's what we can do.
We can give you all the hot water you want.
And in some cases, what do you mean, we?
Wait, wait, you in the solar power industry?
You're conflicted.
Not me.
I'm not conflicted.
You said we.
We caught you.
You're not calling here as just an innocent citizen asking an innocent question.
You've called here to try to propagandize my audience.
It's possible.
But that's not a bad thing either.
Because it's a typical product.
People think that they can sneak things by the host on this program.
Well, they always end up getting caught.
Look, my first house.
You're your ego eye would catch it.
There's no doubt about that.
But really, solar water heating is a viable option and really does work.
Look at, my first house I bought out in Sacramento, and I guess it'd be 1985, 86, had these two solar panels on the roof.
And I said to the buyer, what's that, a skylight?
He said, no, it's a solar panel.
Going to reduce your electric bill.
It's going to and it didn't mean diddly squat.
Well, I tried it, I turned it off, turned it, it didn't, it didn't make a anyway.
It's all technology rush, all technology.
I mean, what's coming out now is it's just far superior with the cost of utilities where it is now.
It's it's payback right away.
What are the biggest problems you people in the solar energy business have?
I'm just going to shoot you straight here.
We're hippies.
The global warming crowd's going to shoot you down because the last thing they want anybody realizing is that the sun is the primary factor in life, heat warmth, energy.
On this country, there's a game in the planet.
On the planet, they want, they want people to think that human beings are the greatest impact, have the greatest impact on climate and so forth.
They want to leave the sun out of it.
Because this if, if it, if the people is, I don't know how people could miss it, but if a majority of people ever figure out that it's the sun that determines how hot and cold it is and whether, in fact, there's even life, even to some of the most serious depths of the ocean, if you get down very, very deep in the ocean.
It is the heat from the earth's core that enables sea life.
I'm talking way, way down there uh, but but the the, the.
Without the sun, nothing exists, there is no life.
There would be no life.
It's forget, heat and all that would be no energy.
Now clearly we, we could uh, advance ourselves quite a bit if we'd learn how to harness it uh better uh, and someday perhaps we will.
But the global warming crowd doesn't want a focus.
They want windmills and they want carbon credits uh, but they, they want people thinking that they individual Americans seeking a better life.
By the way, have you noticed third world countries never get blamed for having any effect on the climate?
No, the poor, women and minorities no, couldn't possibly.
It's only people trying to improve their standard of living uh, that do climate damage.
It's such balderdash.
They're just a bunch of religious fanatics.
The global warming people told they are quick time out.
We'll be back much more straight ahead right after this, doing what I was born to do, Rush Limbaugh behind the golden EIB microphone.
Here at the prestigious and distinguished Limbaugh Institute FOR Advanced Conservative Studies from Rockville Maryland, Maryland state officials said that they will not return the monkey who was seized from its owner in Montgomery County.
The state issued Elise Gazewitz.
Is that right?
Elise Gazewitz a letter monday which said that her monkey Armani would not be returned to her and would be housed at her expense.
The letter said she has until tomorrow to appeal to animal officials and until the may 31st to appeal to the district court.
Anyone who owned an exotic animal prior to may 31st 2006 they're allowed to continue with possession, said the UH animal control captain, Harold Allen.
But after that, when the law went into effect october 1st, it's not allowed anymore to possess a wild anime.
Gazewitz said she got our money before may 31st of 2006.
Now Now, what makes this big deal?
Woman's monkey's been taken away from her.
She has to continue to pay the state to house it.
She can't have it back.
MSNBC ran this story.
And as a Chiron, underneath the stories that are running, the graphic said illegal resident, meaning the monkey.
Armani was the illegal resident.
Pet monkey Armani, illegal resident under Maryland's wildlife law.
What was the story we just had the other week about the way these they're writing up these animals as though they are human beings?
Anyway, here's the tram.
Let's go ahead and play the audio.
This is the MSNBC Infobabe Chris Jansing talking to Elise Gazewitz, whose pet monkey was taken away from her.
This is a montage of Gazwitz retelling the ordeal.
But now keep in mind, as you hear this, as MSNBC ran this, the graphic says illegal resident, pet monkey Armani, illegal resident under Maryland's wildlife law.
I can't eat.
I can't sleep because he sleeps with me.
I had animal control at my door saying if they did, if I didn't let them in, that they were going to arrest me, seize Armani, and euthanize him.
So I let them in.
I showed them paperwork, and they didn't care.
My little teacup Maltese, he was two pounds, saw me in handcuffs and watching Armani being taken away, and he started barking and going crazy.
And Armani was screaming for me.
No.
They put him at a zoo.
I'm not able to call.
I'm not able to ask how he's doing.
I haven't seen him.
They didn't even know his name when they took him.
And it's been really hard because I'm trying really hard to keep my baby alive.
And it's very difficult when you love something so much and someone just comes into your house and just takes them.
He should be home with me.
He didn't do anything.
And he's at a zoo.
And Armani loves to learn.
He's learning his colors.
He's learning how to turn the TV on and off.
And now he's at a zoo.
This is outrageous.
I cannot believe such insensitive feelings among the animal control people in the state of Maryland.
They have caused this woman.
You heard the stress.
You heard the pain in her voice.
And I can just see the monkey screaming and crying as they took it away to prison.
The Maltese is barking.
For those of you in Riolinda, Maltese is a dog.
Beyond that, you don't need to know anything else.
But I mean, this is gut-wrenching.
It's heart-wrenching.
How can this happen in the United States of America?
Take away a pet monkey like this.
I know the law is the law, but this woman is devastated.
You can hear it in her voice.
I'll tell you, you big government.
Didn't that pain you, Mr. Snurdley, to listen to this woman?
Was this what's woman's pet?
I know.
The pet is up in privacy of her house.
Exactly right.
And here come these animal control people.
You can't have that.
Take it away.
Well, yeah, that's that's Dawn just asked what she was doing sleeping with the monkey.
Typical question that a woman would ask.
She's doing sleeping with the monkey.
I mean, people sleep with their pets.
Doesn't mean anything, Dawn.
This has turned out to be what I wanted it to be.
I wanted this to be a loose-fitting open line Friday, and it has.
John in Jacksonville, Florida.
Welcome to the EIB Network.
Great to have you with us.
How are you doing, Rod?
Never better, John.
Thank you.
Good.
Ditto's from North Florida and the surf's up.
And I'm a longtime listener, first-time caller.
Well, it's great to have you with us.
I've got some disturbing development that you might be able to track.
We love disturbing developments.
Well, this has to do with the drive-by media.
I think they might have a new strategy to get into the mainstream.
They think they are the mainstream, but what is this guy?
What's the disturbing development?
Well, this has to do with the New York Times, and I have heard, I think, twice now, advertisements on the radio that if you go by your Sunday Times, and this is targeted to the crowd of guys that I guess I'm from that like to hunt and fish in NASCAR, that you can get some free pictures of your favorite NASCAR drivers.
You've got to be kidding.
I swear.
Where did you see this?
I've never seen the New York Times.
The New York Times is offering free pictures of NASCAR drivers, so people go out and buy the Sunday edition.
That's what the advertisement says.
Where?
Where are you seeing this advertisement?
TV?
Jacksonville.
On television, or is it in.
No, no, on the radio.
On the radio.
Yeah.
So you might want to do some investigating because.
I don't have to investigate this.
I know exactly what this is all about.
This is indeed a disturbing development.
It's hilarious.
The New York.
I mean, I think a little desperate.
The problem is the New York Times does not believe NASCAR people can read.
That's what's hilarious about this.
They look at NASCAR.
You know, I guarantee for somebody from the New York Times listening to you right now, John, they don't think you have your two front teeth.
You've got a four-week stubble.
You're sitting there in a plaid shirt with your gun over your shoulder and a bottle of old crow next to you, and you can't wait till Sunday for the next ND 500 to NASCAR racer.
Well, that's what they think of you.
They don't think you can read.
And even if you can read, they don't think you have the intelligence to understand it now.
The New York Times is, John, I don't think that.
Don't misunderstand.
I'm telling you what the elites at the New York Times think of NASCAR people.
Oh, no, I agree, but I swear it's I've heard it twice, and I just maybe they guessed it.
I'm telling you what, this is a testament to the fact that they are now admitting that their circulation is in the tank.
And they are admitting by doing this that they have lost touch with quote-unquote real middle America.
Even though you're in Jacksonville, you're a real American.
But normally I think of people like you or Hayseed Hicks, you're probably bombed an abortion clinic yesterday, as far as they think, and are planning to bomb one on Monday.
This is fabulous news.
John, it's great to hear from you.
Thanks.
Thanks so much.
Susan in Hampton, Virginia.
You're next on the EIB network.
Hello.
Hi, Rush.
Hey.
Thank you for taking my call.
It's a great show today.
My pleasure.
Thank you.
I spoke with you before about a year or so ago.
This is BB Susan.
And I was remiss also to not invite you.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
B and B Susan?
That's what you called me.
Bed and Breakfast.
Oh, Bed and Breakfast.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were talking about the after-dinner liqueur, BB, Brandon Gonadictine.
I was wondering.
No.
Two Alkis in a row calling the program.
Just kidding, John.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just still playing off the New York Times image of him.
So, yeah, you're the bed and breakfast owner.
Right, right.
And I should have thanked you before, too, that you really inspired my husband and I to do the bed and breakfast.
And you're on all our clock radios in the BB.
And so they can.
So it's working out well for you.
Oh, it's working out very well.
Oh, cool.
Very well, because we followed your advice.
We did it the best possible, and it's just, it has paid off.
Well, it sounds like you're enjoying it, too, which is key.
If you follow your passions and you'll succeed.
Exactly.
But I was calling today because I did not want you to think you were wrong.
You are not wrong.
It depends on how you look at it.
I believe Kenneth was talking about a situation where the employer willfully knows that the employee has a bad number and therefore fails to send in the taxes, which is fraudulent and against the law.
There are many cases where the employee provides the bad.
Exactly.
And even with the I-9 regulations, the employer checks the documentation and it looks fine differently.
Because sometimes it's a stolen Social Security number.
It's so fraudulent that it's a legitimate number.
So you're saying sometimes employers get fooled hiring illegals who have made themselves look legal by virtue of stealing a Social Security company.
Exactly.
Our number.
Well, years ago, for years and years and years, the Social Security Administration would send the employer a notice that said this number does not match up with this name or this digit.
You may have a digit off or whatever.
And the employer would go back and verify things.
And somewhere along the line, I believe it was the Clinton administration, that stopped.
And I could be wrong on that.
Well, you know, the central point, the main element of your call is to try to convince me that I was not wrong.
You are not wrong.
My audience comes to my defense constantly.
I'm almost sad that I wasn't wrong because, as I say, it's unexpected.
It doesn't happen much.
A missed opportunity.
Missed that.
Well, people say I'm out of touch and I've lost touch with other people.
And a lot of people are wrong a lot.
And it makes them feel better about themselves when I admit to being wrong or when it can be proven that I've been wrong.
It doesn't happen much, so it looks like I was half wrong and half right.
The problem is that I usually turn out to be right even when I think I'm wrong.
It's a real challenge for me to be wrong.
I appreciate your call.
It's a thrill to have you out there.
Congratulations on your B ⁇ B.
Well, thank you, Rush, and carry on the great work.
Shall do.
Now, before we go to the break, ladies and gentlemen, I have not had one caller attempt to answer the question that I asked.
I want to play you a soundbite from CNN.
Last night, Anderson Cooper 360.
CNN, the Drive-By Media, is out scouring this country for Republicans who disagree with me, not some senator, not the president, who disagree with me on immigration.
And I have posed a question.
Why are the drive-by media trying to find Republicans who disagree with me?
I didn't ask for calls specific to that.
If you're calling about something else and you want to take a stab at it, there's no prize for the right answer.
Leelair, I haven't planned a prize.
But here's the soundbite, and it'll take us into the break.
And for those of you on hold and others that are going to get through later on, if you want to take a stab at answering the question, because if I answer it, then there won't be anything else left to say about it.
Here's the bite.
If this immigration bill goes through, we are doomed.
Ed Murray listens to Rush Limbaugh every single day.
We're treating the illegals as though we are doing something wrong.
Murray is the Republican mayor of Lindsay, California.
I'm a member of the NRA.
I'm definitely a very conservative.
But Murray says he and Rush part ways on one big issue.
Lindsay is a rural farming community three hours north of L.A.
A national group voted it an all-American city.
That doesn't sit well with some people because 80% of the people here are Latino.
Some here legally, some here illegally.
Unlike most of his fellow conservatives, Mayor Murray will tell you immigrants are welcome here.
The mayor says hard work is a core conservative value he believes in, even if it takes him down a different road from his beloved party.
Panic and crisis at the drive-by media.
A 747, I'm not sure what airline, on its way to Tokyo, has had to return to Dulles International Airport outside Washington.
One of its four engines is out.
And this is Panic Central.
What are the four engines?
Oh, no, it's stumping fuel.
Oh, no!
They can fly on two.
747s can.
Not good, don't misunderstand, but flight crews on these airplanes are highly trained, capable of handling these kinds of things.
And you can land on three engine, you can land on two engines, you can take off on two engines if you got the runway.
All right.
I am Nobel Peace Prize nominee Rush Limbaugh.
Probably going to lose the vote to Al Gore.
Was on David Letterman last night.
What?
You know, these show, what's happening with politicians going on on these so-called late-night comedy shows?
They go on a Leno show.
They go on late night with late show with Letterman.
And they go on and they ruin them.
They're not funny.
And Gore came across the biggest dryball last night.
We got the audio soundbites.
Here's Elizabeth in Columbia, South Carolina.
Nice to have you with us.
It is an honor, Rush.
Listen, I know one way that you might be able to just cinch this Peace Prize nomination.
How's that?
Well, you see, there are some whales that are having some problems in Seattle, and I just, I need to know what you're going to do about it.
Wait, wait, wait.
Is it the whales?
Is it two whales I haven't heard about?
The whales I heard about are in the Sacramento Delta, the San Joaquin Delta out there.
Oh, I'm mistaken.
Then I think the problem is the dialect they're using with trying to get these whales out.
Well, they're using humpback dialect.
They're playing humpback whale sounds, trying to attract these.
It's a mother and calf.
Okay.
And they're not responding.
And they think that the whales are getting sick.
You know, they can't live for long in a mixture of saltwater and freshwater.
And the Delta's freshwater.
They need to live in saltwater.
They've named them Delta and Dawn, I think.
Okay.
Well, see, you have liberals trying to solve this problem, and we need a conservative just way of making this happen.
I think you might be able to be the person to save these whales.
Well, that's a good thought.
You know, I hadn't, I've always, I lived in Sacramento.
The people out there are good people.
And this has happened before.
There was one whale, and he was retarded.
This whale had to be.
They named him, oh, I'm having a mental block.
It was a funny name.
But he was a young male.
He was swimming around out there.
And no matter what they did, they couldn't get the whale to go the right direction.
And I just figured it was a retarded whale.
These two may be retarded.
You know, there is, we always assume it in the animal world that they're all perfectly the same and every animal is the same.
And they're not.
You could have Alzheimer's.
There's a number of things that could be happening out here.
They could have, I mean, it doesn't change the nature of their plight and where our hearts are breaking for them.
I'd do an airlift.
I'd go out there with giant hammocks, get some helicopters, get some divers under there, tranquilize them first and lift them out of the water.
And then, well, you might need something bigger than a helicopter for the mama whale.
But they're trying to get them out of there on their own.
And besides that, I appreciate the suggestion, Elizabeth.
But the Nobel Peace Prize today, there's a clear route to winning the Nobel Peace Prize, and that is to simply trash George W. Bush and the United States.
And that's why Jimmy Carter won his, and it's why he keeps doing it.
And it's why Al Gore will probably win this one.
But I mean, you brought it down.
You put me and my achievements and accomplishments as host of this program for 19 years in August.
You put all that side by side with Al Gore as, what are the Peace Prize?
What's been done to promote liberty?
Who's done more to promote liberty and freedom and justice?
It's me.
Or it is I. Al Gore's out there trying to create this new socialist world based on this hoax, fraudulent religion.
A bunch of religious fanatics supporting global warming.
And that's, you know, and he's been, by the way, Gore's been over there lobbying.
We thought about filing a complaint with the Nobel Committee over this because he went over there and actually made a speech on global warming with some of the Nobel Committee members in the audience.
I mean, that's clearly lobbying for the prize.
That's beneath the dignity of the Nobel Peace.
You don't lobby for it.
And Gore clearly was.
I haven't gone over there.
We probably won't lodge our complaint, although we could.
Now, prize is not named, a winner, not named until October, November.
We have any number of things up our sleeve to try to change the outcome that we think is going to happen.
It's got a hilarious email.
Hey, Rush, that woman's upset.
People upset with her sleeping with her monkey.
The feminists say that women sleep with pigs every night.
It was Humphrey, the humpback whale, the one that got lost out there some years ago.