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May 31, 2006 - Rush Limbaugh Program
36:13
May 31, 2006, Wednesday, Hour #1
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Welcome to today's edition of the Rush 24-7 podcast.
All right, folks, I need to warn you about something here right off the bat.
I am in a foul temper.
I am in a foul mood, and it's one of those kind you get when you don't know why.
It's everything irritates me today.
It's from the, I mean, even before I got up today, I was irritated.
I think I was irritated when I was asleep.
I think I was irritated in a dream that I don't remember.
Hey, greetings and welcome.
It's the EIB.
I'm not kidding.
I'm to EIB Network and El Rushball, and it's hump day.
It's Wednesday.
Get this day behind you.
And over the hump, as you cruise for the weekend, 800-282-2882, if you want to be on the program and the email address rush at EIBNet.com.
Ladies and gentlemen, we all have a tremendous challenge as a country to face today.
The sun is not quite as bright as it usually is.
The air is somehow a little dingier than it usually is.
The water doesn't even seem as pure to me today.
It's kind of the opposite of when General Dinkins got the mayoral job in New York when he was elected.
Remember, everybody's saying it's a sweeter day.
The homeless are nicer.
The panhandlers are polite.
Sun's brighter.
It's the opposite today.
Our nation today is less perky.
Katie is gone.
Fighting back emotion.
She's gone from each of us, folks.
Gone from all of us.
Gone from our moms.
Gone from our kids.
Gone from our lazy, do-nothing couch potatoes.
But we are a proud people, ladies and gentlemen.
We are a strong people.
We can overcome.
We have persevered tougher things than this.
We can hang in there until Katie comes back to us with her new situation, her new contract, and that good old perky perkiness.
We must soldier on, ladies and gentlemen.
We must persevere.
We can do it.
Okay, you won't believe this.
You ever heard of the U.S. Climate Emergency Council?
Well, I hadn't either until this.
It's gotten so bad now, the kooks are down to protesting Max Mayfield.
I kid you not, the U.S. Climate Emergency Council in Silver Spring, Maryland has released the following statement.
Hundreds of concerned citizens and leaders from across the country will join Hurricane Katrina survivors today to call for the resignation of the heads of the National Hurricane Center and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and the NOAA headquarters at the NOAA headquarters just outside Washington.
During an 11 a.m. demonstration, I guess this has already happened.
Advocates will demand that NOAA stop covering up the growing scientific link between severe hurricanes and global warming while insisting on real solutions to the problem of global warming.
The protest comes at the start of the 2006 hurricane season.
They're down to protesting Max Mayfield.
Now we're not only covering up what went on in Haditha, we're now covering up the fact that there is a global warming link to intense hurricanes and some concerned citizens going to be protesting all day today and all day tomorrow outside NOAA's headquarters outside Washington in order to raise consciousness about this.
There are a lot of people in this country with way too much time on their hands.
This is such a sad story.
It's absurd is what this is.
This is a story from the Seattle Post Intelligencer.
Smokers find refuge in secret nicotine dens.
Late at night, the ashtrays come out in smoke easies.
Quietly, the tattooed bartender scans the room, poker-faced.
It's about 11 p.m. on a weeknight.
A man with a shaved head is talking about being in a heavy metal band.
Two young babes are flipping through an adult entertainment industry magazine.
About a dozen others are drinking at the bar.
Nobody looks like the type who'd rat the bartender out to the health department.
So she pulls out a stack of black plastic ashtrays, the kind that used to be so prevalent in bars across the state of Washington, and casually places them in front of her customers, who immediately begin digging out packs of cigarettes.
There's no fanfare, no smoke them if you got them, just a silent signal in the night, followed by the sense of being safe from anti-smokers.
This is crazy.
This is absolutely crazy.
They have to hide like lepers.
These smokers in the state of Washington have to hide like lepers.
They're afraid of the anti-smokers.
They feel threatened by anti-smokers.
It's a perfectly legal substance.
What was the tobacco settlement money used for?
I mean, people are afraid to enjoy a cigarette and a beer in this country anymore because the health Nazis are watching everybody.
And the Democrats, like this is a couple interesting things here about this: California 50, the seat for Randy Duke Cunningham.
There are two things about, yes, there's two things about this.
The first thing is that McCain was going to go out there and speak, do a campaign appearance for Brian Bilbray, who's running against what's her name, the Democrat, Francine Busby, Basby, Dasby, Francine, whatever.
I don't know if I can't find her.
Francine Busby.
But because Brian Bilbray doesn't see eye to eye with McCain on immigration, McCain canceled.
He's still going to send in a contribution from the straight talk pack of five grand, but he had to cancel.
We don't know who actually did the canceling.
It's being reported that McCain did.
Some people are saying this is not very presidential.
This is awfully petty.
This is an important congressional district.
The second aspect of the story, this is from the cybercastnewservice.com.
Next Tuesday, voters in the San Diego area will head to the polls in a special election to replace Duke Cunningham.
Democrats say no matter what happens, they've won because Democrat candidate Francine Busby has put Republicans on the ropes in a district they bragged was theirs for the taking.
In an email message to supporters, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee said it's Rahm Emanuel said the Democrats are setting the tone in a majority Republican district, forcing Republicans to frantically spend millions of dollars to defend themselves.
And no matter what happens next Tuesday, if Francine even comes close, Democrats will send a wave of panic through Republicans everywhere.
This is Paul Hackett all over again.
They win when they lose.
We need to keep this definition of winning up.
We need for them to actually keep pursuing this strategy.
There are all kinds of stories today, folks, but we'll get to them during the course of the program about the mainstream press, the drive-by media, is just lining up and firing salvo after salvo after salvo at Mrs. Clinton.
They are just aiming a gun and for not just on not just in the print, it's on television too.
There are, in fact, Jonathan Alter was on television over the weekend, I think it was Chris Matthews' Sunday show, and said that he knows somebody who's very close to Hillary and that this guy is just waiting for somebody to give him ammo to go tell her it's over.
Don't run.
Nobody wants you.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
The Democrats also another closed door meeting to try to figure out whether to get an agenda and then if they get one, whether to announce it.
We have details on all that coming up.
Al Gore says, and again, he was out of the country when he said that he is in an interview in The Guardian, UK newspaper, Al Gore said that George W. Bush is a renegade right-wing extremist.
If you have a renegade band of right-wing extremists who get hold of power, the whole thing goes to the right.
If only Al Gore were right.
If only Bush were a right-wing extremist, a lot of us would be a lot happier than we are about things in Washington, D.C.
But Gore has got them all excited, can't believe how just because Gore is not Hillary and Gore is not Kerry.
And that's the basic thing that he brings to the party where Democrats are concerned.
Gore was speaking at a literary festival over the bank holiday weekend.
Once again, outside the country, trashes the Bush administration.
Also, this never happened, never once happened when I was in school.
The Detroit School of Arts and the International Academy of Detroit closed about 10 o'clock yesterday morning because of the heat that hovered in the 90s, made it too hot for the students.
The $121 million School of Arts earlier this year won an award from the U.S. Green Building Council for the Scruel's Energy and Environmental Design.
It was the first building in the city to win that award.
The council lauded the school for using energy-saving designs and equipment.
Examples include trees to provide shade, energy-efficient windows, and a highly reflective roof surface.
Energy costs dropped 20% as a result of the design, but the heat and humidity of the day proved too much for the school and the academy.
So they get an award for designing a school that cannot accommodate people in comfort in temperatures in the 90s and have to let the students out and go home.
I never went to a school with air conditioning, and they never once let us go home for it.
Never.
It never happened.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to learn how the politicians who say they support the troops actually support them.
This is about the incident at Haditha.
The word allegedly has vanished from our language.
Sheriff Murtha, Prosecutor Murtha, and Judge Murtha have declared the Marines at Haditha guilty.
The media preparing logos and themes, Marine massacre all over television.
Is it a cover-up is the latest question they're asking.
The spinners are testing focus groups.
What sounds worse, worse than Abu Grab or worse than me lie?
The L.A. Times already refers to this as me lie in an editorial today.
Let history note something, however.
The alleged incident is under alleged investigation.
The facts have yet to be checked.
The alleged perps have yet to be identified.
The alleged superior responsibility has yet to be named.
The alleged cover-up has yet to be established.
And of course, a defense has yet to be offered.
A lot of people are very much concerned about this, but it's one of these circumstances where we don't know what happened.
But because there are so many people who say they support the troops, want this to be true, that's typical of the drive-by media.
Report the news that you hope happens.
Report the news as you wish it to be.
It's already a done deal, and they say, because they hate the U.S. military and they love military defeats, They love humiliation of the U.S. military because they know and think that it'll make it more difficult to use the military in the future.
All the while, these are the people who claim to support the troops, love the troops, but don't support the mission.
These people want it to be true, and the people that want it to be true are the same kind of people that have no problem with totalitarian regimes and dictators and mass murderers the world over.
The same kind of people who found it difficult to criticize Saddam Hussein or who will not criticize Castro or who want to coddle this wacko Hugo Chavez are eager to portray the U.S. military as the focus of evil in the modern world.
Remember this.
This turns out to be true.
The reason we are shocked and will be shocked is because it is uncommon.
It does not happen frequently.
This is not what the U.S. military is known for.
They do not engage in murder.
They engage in the killing of war.
Michelle Walkin has a great piece on this today and says, despite every effort being made to castigate the entire U.S. military today over an isolated incident about which we don't have the facts, keep in mind that this is the jihadists' way of life each and every day.
Quick time out, back and continue after this.
America's real anchorman and the doctor of democracy on the cutting edge of societal evolution.
We'll get to your phone calls in a moment, and I'm being deluged.
And I have been all week.
And I'm sorry, I'm just remiss in not having gotten to this earlier.
People want to know my final thoughts on the season finale of 24.
Mr. Sterdley, keep reminding me about that.
I want to get to something else here.
I'm going to tie this in with Katie Couric's last day at the Today Show and going over to CBS News.
There is a fascinating piece today on the front page of the New York Observer.
And it's about the feminization of news.
Now, we have discussed on this program, and we've delved in great detail on the subject of the feminization of our overall culture, how it has damaged the public school system and the higher education system, how it has really screwed up Washington in a whole bunch of different ways, how the art of manliness has disappeared from our culture.
It is criticized as brutism and predatorism for a man to be manly.
We've created this whole notion of the metro-sexual, the touchy-feely sensitive, and it all descends from the feminization of our culture.
Well, this story has to do with the feminization of news and how women behind the scenes are totally distorting what is selected and produced as news and how it's covered and how it's reported.
It also doesn't say this, but I think one of the reasons why Katie Couric got the gig at CBS, Les Moonvis over there at CBS is no idiot, despite what people say, the vast majority of people who watch television anymore are women, particularly in the daytime, but even at night when you're watching news, the vast majority of men don't turn on their televisions till prime time, and then they watch a variety of things.
But women are watching more television more often and longer in their lives than any other demographic group, except maybe for lazy, slothful kids.
But it's probably a close race between the women and lazy, slothful kids.
But most of them are probably playing video games and using their computers.
So television may well become or may have become the medium of choice by many women.
Producer Kathy Turmoll, and by the way, this is written by a woman, Rebecca Dana.
Producer Kathy Chermol left Good Morning America two years ago, but she still has influence in the newsroom.
The staff at GMA tells me a lot of times they'll be sitting at a table and someone will pitch an idea, Ms. Chermoll said, who works as syndicated programming now.
Somebody will say, you know, that's such a Chermol story.
Somehow, I know it's not a story about the federal deficit merging out of control.
It's a beautiful blonde who threatened to kill her husband and blah, blah, blah.
That's the kind of story I inspire.
Husband killing blondes, or Ms. Chermall specially, along with child-rearing service pieces, missing white woman stories, and whatever other segments could be seen as reaching female viewers.
When I read this, I said, no wonder I don't watch television much anymore.
What are you saying to me, Mr. Snow?
If you think it makes sense now, just hang on.
Wait till I add my expert commentary and analysis to this after I give you the details of the piece.
Executives and senior-level producers from all three oldline networks say that the news operations are hungry for stories that play to women and for the women who can produce them.
That's because, paternal anchormen aside, news is women's programming.
The female audience for the morning news shows is twice the size of the male audience.
Nielsen figures for this season show that the two-to-one ratio across the board exists.
CBS draws 1.8 million women to 900,000 men.
ABC, 3.3 million women to 1.6 million men.
And Katie Couric and Matt Lauer, 3.8 million women to 1.9 million men.
It's almost exactly doubled in every instance.
In the evenings, the gap is smaller, but it's still dramatic.
The female evening news audience across those three networks is 14.4 million.
The male audience is 10 million.
Another way to look at this is that the three networks combined have 24 million viewers.
This program alone has 20 to 22, depending upon the vagaries of each rating, period.
That is why I am America's anchorman.
I have the largest and the most loyal, the most consistently large and deeply loyal audience.
Thank you, folks, so much of any media presentation in the country.
That's what lots of women listen to this program.
We do not attract, obviously, the kind of women they're going to be intrigued by the sop, the sophistry, and the gunk that is featured in most of daytime television.
Have you watched it lately?
It had been years.
I mean, years, folks.
And I don't even know why.
I almost flying.
I was on the way somewhere.
It was during the week.
Oh, I think I forget where it was, but I just started a channel surf around because I got tired and bored with the news.
I knew what the news was going to be before they reported it.
So I started channel surfing around.
I get the network stations up there and judge this, judge that, judge somebody.
I mean, there must have been 15 judge shows with losers in life suing each other for 10 bucks.
Look like they've been dragged out of the gutter to appear on the program.
Then you got Jerry Springer.
It's shocking.
It is shocking.
And it's all programmed to a certain demographic.
There's much more to this.
I'm deadly serious about this too, folks.
We come back.
We will continue here on the EIB network, 800-282-2882.
The phone number, we will get to your phone calls.
I want to make something clear.
I don't want anybody to misunderstand this.
I am not here being critical of women.
I am critical of feminism and the feminization of our culture based on precepts of feminism.
I'm normal red-blooded as anybody is, and not going to be a silly idiot and try to give people the impression I don't like women.
It's nothing of the sort.
It's just that when we're talking about news, you feminize the whole concept, the production, the reporting of news in order to target a specific audience, just proves my point that I've been making all along.
News is a packaged product like anything else you'd find on the shelf.
And it is marketed.
It is sold.
It is packaged just like any other product.
And yet, these people that do it hide under the umbrella or behind the guise of the people's right to know, going out and find the most important stories of the day.
And they're reporting that to us.
And that's not at all what's happening.
They're like any business.
They're trying to sell a product.
They're trying to get viewers.
They're trying to attract enough of them to get high ratings.
And they're going out and targeting who it is that's watching television.
And if more women are watching than men, then you can know what they're going to do.
They're going to try to come up with news that targets the kind of women that they find out who are watching.
Are they making an effort to expand the universe of viewers?
Obviously not.
They're just targeting who they've already got.
And by the way, just to show you, I'm deadly serious about this.
We have just produced, just written a new special report that's available right now to new subscribers in my newsletter.
It's called a limbo letter.
And it's called A War on Manliness or How to Resist the Feminization of the American Male.
We've been working on this for a couple of months now, and it's now one of the freebies we offer with new subscribers.
I'm not trying to sell anything here.
Because I don't have to sell, ladies, I am not a hookster.
I'm just telling you, this has been something, if you've listened regularly to the program, you are well aware of my concerns about this.
In fact, we've got a guy from Huntsville, Alabama, who works in television in programming.
Tracy, glad you called.
Big career risk for you here, I guess.
How are you doing, Rush?
Just fine.
Thank you.
Mega 18-year NASCAR NRA F-150 Dittos to you.
Thank you, sir.
A shout out to Major Panzera, my adopted soldier.
Rush, I've worked in local television, and we were a part of the promotions department at one point in time.
And there were four of us guys that went out to a picnic table to talk about what we needed to do to raise the news.
And the main promo guy pulled out a sack with Red Book and better, you know, just a bunch of women's magazines.
And there were four of us guys sitting around going through those magazines to pick up what we called Vivian Viewer.
And Vivian Viewer is the typical female out there to try to raise our news ratings.
And we would go with that as to what to do for special projects for news.
So, you know, instead of reporting the news, we were going out and trying to figure out what Redbook was targeting.
And then that's what we were targeting.
Red Book, you see, you went out trying to find Vivian Viewer to find out what it was that would excite Vivian Viewer.
All right, well, let me thank.
Thanks, Tracy.
That's confirmation.
And we can probably get many more.
But what this means is, and it's local news and local, and this is happening at the network level, too.
We have lost our news to the feminazis.
We have.
It is why the news is always screaming to scare the pants off everybody.
News is nothing but scare you deadly every day as bad as they can.
Blood and guts, rapes, all those things fit the template.
It's all appealing to the maternal instinct that the female viewer has.
It's news for women and by women.
And it's condescending.
Not to mention it's not journalism.
We clearly need manly news out there, and we're not getting it in too many places.
Well, we're not.
Let me go back to this observer story.
You have to be aware of the female nuance as you're doing a show, said Alexandra Wallace, the senior vice president of NBC News.
You have to be aware of how your audience views the show and views the story.
Maybe it's not just ignoring that much of your audience.
Most of your audience is female.
I guess it sounds old-fashioned, but I don't think it is in practice.
Ms. Wallace is part of a group of female producers who have risen through the ranks of network news in recent years.
For example, all three of Good Morning America's senior-level recruits in the last six months have been women, two of them replacing men.
Last year, NBC brought in Amy Rosenblum, a former producer for Maury Povich and a veteran of women's chat shows to generate female-friendly feature segment ideas, according to NBC sources.
CBS, meanwhile, is overrun with women.
I'm looking for males to counter the female population, said Susan Zarinski, the executive producer of 48 Hours.
Men are becoming a minority in the world of production.
I don't even know how this evolution has occurred, but the number of talented women now in the field is enormous.
Well, we don't know how it occurred, Susan.
You were at the lead edge of it.
Why is it you think fewer men are going to college?
Who wants to go participate in a female curriculum, have to take home ec, have it be called something else, and put up with the daily insults that men are going to get in that climate.
Leading the networks in the quest for double X chromosomes, NBC recently spent $600 million to purchase iVillage, an online women's community that has 15 million unique visitors a month.
The sale closed on May 15th, the same day as the network's upfront presentation at Radio City Musical Upfront is where you go out and sell advertising at reduced rates early to advertisers who will commit to it months down the road.
Calling this a major announcement, NBC Universal President Jeff Zucker told an auditorium full of advertising executives that these users fell squarely in his network's audience, the Today Show's audience in particular.
Already the alliance has proven fruitful.
The news broadcast and the website are collaborating on a series of popular dad makeovers in the run-up to Father's Day.
How to make over dad.
Not to be outdone, ABC and CBS have hastened to develop female-friendly morning segments, shipping viewers off to the set of desperate housewives or reporting at every opportunity on the latest in breast cancer treatment or wedding planning.
Even a story about gas prices can be done for women, Ms. Wallace said.
I think the Today Show has done a great job of programming the gas story, so it's interesting to both genders, not just men.
If you did the pure business aspect, that would be more male-oriented.
But if you do how this is affecting not just women, but parents, how this is affecting commutes, how it affects your everyday life versus how it affects Wall Street, that's how you make it appeal to women.
It's a slight personalization of the news versus a pure hard fact way of looking at it.
No, let me tell you what it is.
When you purposely ignore the business side of gas prices, you are not telling people the truth about them.
When you focus on the hardships and, oh, how difficult it is and the commute and the prices and how mean people like to get data, oh, oh, what a horrible country we live in.
And you work on people's emotions and you get them all tired up and fed up at the oil companies who have nothing to do with high gasoline prices.
That has to do with the oil price, which is not set by big oil.
When you ignore the business side, when you ignore what would interest men, you're ignoring the facts.
It's nothing more than the evolution of the whole soccer mom phenomenon coming full force into newsrooms.
Remember how irritated we were in the 90s with the Clinton administration zeroing in on the soccer mom population.
That then gave way to NASCAR dads at some point down the road.
But notice how long that didn't last versus the whole phenomenon of soccer moms.
And it's well known that I don't look at folks.
You have to just understand this.
None of this is intended to be critical.
Men and women think differently about, well, most women emote, most men think.
Most women are upset that men don't feel enough, don't emote enough.
And so it's, you know, that's just who we are.
It's where we're made.
It's not anybody's fault.
It's just these differences are real.
And we have news organizations now purposely targeting the emotional side of things.
And by the way, when you do that, what else are you?
When you ignore the business side of gasoline prices, for example, and we're just heard here, it's happening on the CBS early show.
It's happening on Good Morning America, happening on the Today Show.
It happens on the evening news broadcast.
What are you doing?
You're dumbing everything down.
When you appeal to the emotions, when you're trying to produce stories, they're not even stories.
A news story is something that actually happened that somebody witnessed that nobody else saw, and they report it.
These are not even stories.
These are manufactured bits.
These are manufactured segments according to a template.
And it is quite obvious that in the process of doing all this, you dumb down.
It's a slight personalization of the news versus a pure hard fact way of looking at it.
You perhaps have heard some stations say news you can use as their slogan.
I used to work at one that had that.
I forget which one it was.
I worked at so many radio stations.
I got fired at so many of them.
I got fired one time for referring to my female co-anchor as dear.
Well, now I didn't get fired for that.
That was a place that fired me for the word therefore.
I got memoed, reprimanded, and coaching sessions for referring to the female co-anchor as Deere.
She was talked into being mad.
At the time it happened, she didn't mind it.
It was a decent team.
She didn't care.
But she got talked into being mad about it by the station.
Do you realize what an offense that was?
Why you had this male just discard you as some ornament?
Dear?
I tell you, it got so bad out there, you couldn't compliment a woman on her appearance because that was an insult because you're ignoring her brain.
I'm not making this up.
Good Morning America has run a series on gas prices called Pain at the Pump, covering the more mundane elements of the story and a few more personal reports from correspondence.
In one segment, on May the 18th, correspondent David Muir explained how gas prices would raise the cost of his family's summer vacation at Cape Cod.
Little nieces and nephews love the Chatham candy store, but we learned that it's just not just the candy that'll cost more, he told viewers.
Oh, wrench our hearts.
Why don't you?
Good morning, America.
Wrench our hearts.
In the process, make the country look like it's horrible, unfair, and mean-spirited and run by a bunch of oligarchs who want people to be in pain.
Is news of the high cost of fuel really improved by putting candy sprinkles on it?
I don't think there is a female way of doing the gas price story, said Lynn Pitts, executive producer of Weekend Today.
Weekend Today, which has recently featured stories on finding the perfect pair of white pants and treating mom to a tried and true chicken dish, has indeed played the gas story straight and gender neutral.
But most programmers are in town on making things woman-friendly, and the networks tended to subscribe to the theory that the best programmers for women are their fellow women.
And are women better at knowing how to reach female viewers?
Yes, many said.
Although we don't know many men who have incredibly involved feminine sides who are great producers for women, said Ms. Chermo.
Well, what would you, I guarantee you, they're out there.
You've created millions of them.
You're just not looking hard enough.
If you can't find the feminized TV male producer, then you're not probably right under your nose afraid to speak up.
We breed metrosexuals in this industry, said Ms. Zarinski with pride, I guess.
Anyway, here's the last couple of points in this piece that's a New York Observer today.
The networks are looking for people who have successfully gathered an audience.
said Tammy Haddad, who produces Chris Matthews' show.
If you've gathered an audience and created ratings or buzz somewhere, if you've brought people into some media property, the networks are going to look at you and say, how can we do that?
Nobody watches that show.
I'm sorry, but nobody watches that.
She's got a lot of buzz, but nobody watches that show.
Tammy, I know Tammy.
She used to produce for Larry King.
And she is in demand.
At any rate, Ms. Cherbil, the first person quoted in this story, says for years the best people in news got that you need that, but they didn't really want to cop to it because it sounds like you're dumbing it down.
Let me give you the preceding little line.
Still, the 2008 election just might involve a very prominent female candidate.
And a producer who could capitalize on that would be very valuable to his or her network.
By then, there will be at least one female evening news anchor, an untold number of female news executives, and more than likely a female perspective imbued in the news.
For years, the best people in news got that you need that, but they didn't really want to cop to it because it sounds like you're dumbing it down.
So to admit that you are appealing to women is to admit that you're dumbing it down.
What did I tell you?
Okay, back to the phones to Oceanside, California.
Jack, glad you called, sir.
Great to have you on the EIB network.
Rush, John Kerry said about Vietnam, no one wants to be the last one to die for a mistake.
Incidents like Hadifa will make it impossible to achieve the goal of creating a democracy in Iraq that is friendly to the United States.
Rush, are you now willing to admit Iraq is a disaster, a mistake, and it's time to bring our troops home?
Unless you in your arrogance are willing to send more of our young men and women.
Hey, Jack, Jack, hey, Jack, Jack, tell us all your real name, will you?
And tell us where you really live.
Tell us who you really are, Jack.
Give us your real name.
And also, you might want to tell us when you're going to be in Las Vegas.
That's coming up soon, isn't it?
What's that?
I don't even know what you're talking about.
Yes, you do.
Tell us your real name, Jack.
You're an imposter.
You make a habit of calling programs and reading prepared speeches like this gibberish that you just shared with us, making demands of me.
So tell us who you really are, Jack.
I want to know your real name.
Well, you know, you're just displaying to your audience that you can't answer my question.
No, what I'm displaying to my audience is that I don't put up with liars and frauds on this program.
You don't have to lie to get on this program.
And when you do, your time is cut short.
Why should I give credence?
Why should I respond and descend to your level to answer your silly, nonsensical, biased, agenda-oriented questions?
I'm not going to waste my time.
Just tell us who you are, Jack, and tell us where you really live.
Well, you know, I think you've lost your marbles.
No, Jack, I'm in full possession of all three.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
My marbles.
You need to address what I just said.
No, I don't have to address a damn thing that you just said, Jack.
You're willing to send more young women to be informed.
Jack, you are a fraud, and I don't have to address anything.
I will address things on my own time in my own way, but I am not going to allow some low life to put me on the defensive and make me assume the position of defending a position that I don't even know is true based on just your simple assertion.
I've given you three chances now to come clean, to be honest, and tell us who you really are.
I happen to know who you are, Jack.
And if you try this one more time, I'm going to blow your cover so that everybody else knows who you are and just ruin your little scam that you got going out there.
We'll be back in just a second, folks.
Stay with us.
You see, busted my marbles.
I'm in all possession, in possession of all three of my marbles.
I'm still working here with half my brain tied behind my back just to make it fair.
Well, it seems that Congressman William Jefferson, Democrat Louisiana, tried to hide papers in a blue bag right in front of FBI investigators.
They're trickling out a little bit more information here because this hubbub up on Capitol Hill about the search of his office seems that Congressman Jefferson could have learned from Sandy Burglar.
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